How To Be A Love Zombie

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How To Be A Love Zombie? The question puzzled me at first. Surely becoming a Love Zombie is an organic process. Specific astrological configs at birth make you more inclined toward it, and popular culture plays its part but still, it’s not something you can cultivate. But on further thought, I have altered my stance. You can become a Love Zombie and here’s how.

(1) Develop a taste for narcissistic future-fakers. They’re easy to get to know, as they will swiftly take any encounter onto a more intimate footing. Familiarity is the fastest way for them to get the ego-hits they need. The married or partnered ones can exist in a state of impending break-up for years, if not decades. It is their preferred mode, which is fantastic for you. As an aspiring Love Zombie, you will never need to worry overly about them turning up at your door with their baggage.

(2) The moment you find someone sexually attractive, bestow them with a sense of nobility and doomed glamor. You may think that rewriting your every crush to be a mythopoetic saga of epic proportions is something only possible in your teenage years, but no, you can do it any age. Although, it may be harder to do as your hormone mix evolves.

Nothing Kills A Love Zombie buzz More Thoroughly Than A Therapist Probing You About An Emotionally Unavailable Parent

(3) Shun therapy. Nothing kills a Love Zombie buzz more thoroughly than a psych probing you about that emotionally unavailable mother or narcissistic dad. Don’t read Esther Harding, Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung or even Clarissa Pinkola Estes. It’s discomforting to find yourself in the pages of a classic book that could be about anyone when you feel your circumstance is so unique. Stick to Iseult & Tristan, Beatrice & Dante, Walk The Line and any literature or cinema that gives good yearning.

(4)  Don’t own up to enjoying your solitude. Being open about liking to be un-partnered is subversive as is admitting that you enjoy being able to devote more energy to your craft, children, animals, health or nature. Having a Love Zombie situation going on means you can be quasi-partnered and thus still (sort of) yoked to the convention. Many people would much rather hear about your mysterious little bit of phantom ‘it’s complicated‘ than deal with an individuated you.

Get Hooked On The Hormones From Yearning

(5) Get hooked on Yearning. In the same way that sportspeople and adventurers come to function their best on adrenaline, you can optimize via Yearning. Is it oxytocin? A neurotransmitter only released when you’re busy analyzing cryptic comments and cross-referencing them to Neptune transits? Admit to yourself that while it would be nice in some plebian way to have a partner you can phone up to inquire how they are, you like the process of research.

 

Image: Joseph Noel Paton – Dante Meditating

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sphinxMM Member
sphinx

Just prearrange with spiritual guides to be born the day I was 😀 I have every astrological marker possible. Neptune on the DC, NN in the 7th etc etc lol.

Jokerman
Jokerman

You too. Hilar

davidlMM Member
davidl

Yeah but if I was going to be haunted by a love zombie, you’d be my first choice x

Scorpio_RisingMM Member
Scorpio_Rising

ugh…no, thanks! I prefer no drama and solitude vs the company of drama queens and vampires.

SMM Member
S

Considering my current location I could put a lot of these sub categories together and then slice them down even further. In the same vein as music “Metal fans” get all cut over “that’s not Classic Industrial Metal that’s Punk Metal.” I think if you haven’t unpacked your family of origin issues and found ways to cope with the grief of abandonment which arises, your relationship signature or style can predispose you to Love Zombism. Then you add the preconceived ideal of this relationship doesn’t measure up to the expectations of the reality, well a healthy dose of WTF in… Read more »

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

In case you have never seen or heard of Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey, the totally hilarious and amazing movie by Canadian anthropologist and metalhead, here his the most excellent metal genealogy tree:
comment image

Highly recommend this movie to anyone interested in subcultures and obviously music or metal. Great interviews with Lemmy, Getty Lee, etc.

SMM Member
S

Thank you for commenting SheRat. I do love a movie reference and a Canadian anthropologist and metal fanatic….that’s a must do indeed. I dig music very deeply, it’s been a saviour to me many times over. The power to articulate the suffering of my life in the most beautiful way. Divine intervention proving the power of human compassion and collective kindness and unity with a fully loaded musical tank. There is a FB group that I’m apart off and their comments about Metal is very entertaining and almost mirrors political debate. My teenage self was a fan of getting my… Read more »

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

Awesome S! I did something very similar: My family was even instructed not to bother me with phone calls if I were in my room “doing Janis” (as I called it), which sometimes it was necessary to do like, from the time I got home from school til the time I went to bed! Sometimes I think about renting a studio rehearsal space even though I’m not in a band at the moment just to have a place to scream Janis etc. and not bother anyone. ;-p It’s a release and a fucking great high too! If you are into… Read more »

SMM Member
S

Here is a tip: go to a swimming pool and dip yourself underwater and just scream it out of your system. It’s safe and it’s a soft approach, not pushing up the dramatic just letting the emotions that have been built up a gentle way out. Preferably a pool or body of water without tots learning to swim or folks doing rehabilitation lessons and rugby league players cooling off. I’ve been caught in those situations. Look I just need to float in the water and scream under water people…nothing to see here people, just move it the f train along.… Read more »

aliawritingMM Member
aliawriting

OH.MY.GOD that’s me! Not sure where to hide with this mirror around!! + 1000 on muso’s post 😀

musoMM Member
muso

MM! this is probably my favourite of all of your posts and I’ve been following and absolutely loving the shit out of your amazing writing for about ten years now. I’ve just come out of a traumatic “thing” with a covert narcissit.. almost a year ago exactly i left.. ran more like it.. and in my recovery (after three months drinking myself stupid to not feel anything) i realised it was me choosing it and then was shocked to realise that I had chosen this abuser/teacher/lesson several times before… everything written in this post is SO spot on. Many months… Read more »

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Love this. Yes – Yes – Yes.

ElectroMM Member
Electro

Haha! My Neptune Moon can be delusional, but my Venus & Mars in Gemini get bored too fast to let much damage occur. You have to be one hell of a zinger to get past those two.

Jokerman
Jokerman

I’ve been less LZ in past two years more than ever. I went on a coupla dates with this woman before Venus went shadow. She was forced back to her homeland, something to do with international borders. Anyway we kept some email for a week or two but VRx was on so I dropped it. Then after a week she said you have not replied. LSS, we then had low-key correspondance leading upto THIS—–. Uran on my MC 29°13′, Venus on my IC / Nep and the NN exact my Sun. I made the decision to leave teaching, Uran onya… Read more »

PegasusMM Member
Pegasus

The LZ thing only happen once due to massive manipulation of my emotions. By another Saggo whom i erroneously thought was like me…..direct and honest 🙂 and obviously enjoyed the power trip. A relationship of constant texting and only meeting in person 10 times over 5 years, even tho’ in same city. Still in shock when i remember how my brain was turned to mush and how constantly dissatisfied i was. What a crazy game it was, however the after effects has lasted way too long and turned me off having a partner since. The Ex-es always contact me afterwards… Read more »

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

I’ve got a 2 out of 3 thing going on…sans meatloaf. I cant say it’s been a one time only thing. I’ve got Neptune 7th and that BS would emit it’s stink rays right out of the screen hahahaha! I got done over once by a Saggo. Made a similar miscalculation in judgement. Double barrel kick to the heart. Pfffft. For reasons too inexplicable and by that I mean, compatibility, the actual relationships, synergy and sign etcs they seem to come back and lay a you were my soul mate trip on me, never got over, blah-dee blah speech. And… Read more »

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

“So i know how normally sensible intelligent people can get sucked into a vortex that is unexplainable at the time.” This is a very good point, Pegasus (and hiya!!). All too often people use another’s relationship troubles and/or LZ-ing as a way to feel superior: :”I’d never fall for *that*!” Truth is, we don’t know what we’d fall for given the right circumstances, gap in front teeth, laconic guitar strumming, cut of the jib, iconoclastic skill set/professional status/”Oh, look I have a tattoo of a Baudelaire quote” combo. How hard we’ll fight for / hang on to that original vision–and… Read more »

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

And Mercury retro… for some it’s always an return. if we were to completely ignore the Astro drunk Virgo (and I know nothing of him) got consumed by the spirit of the bottle and not getting his way. There’s a point in that journey where to blame any other influence is just blatant ignorance (perhaps from the outside only eh). This is a really well stated post SheRat. Maybe Neptune direct is invoking wordsmithing en-mass. I’m loving lots of words around here! But I’ll add that the Venus retro has got a reference point back to 2010 with her last… Read more »

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

SOOO did not answer Drunk Virgo. When he called back immediately after the first one went unanswered I knew there was some sort of scene on the other end. There was no way to engage in that schizz without: a) activating Mars in Aries (with Uran!), or b) indulging my Venus in Pisces…”Are you okay?” action! I chose…? I chose Aqua sun. Ignore. LOL. There’s proof in the pudding for the last Venus Retrro ins Scorp and Uran in Aries–for me at least…Uran went through my 7th house, which has been a thing for sure. The Chiron thing is interesting–it’s… Read more »

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Go girl – why waste the Mars | Aries which could no doubt make short work of the matter but hey, you might even be starting a Venus – Venus trine so better fish to fry I reckon. Aqua Sun sounds like the best offence. Drunk Virgo might be grappling with Neptune opposing Sun eh…or could be Saturn trine now and it’s time to be responsible for his actions, if he can surf the mighty wave of Neptune Pisces? What a brilliant download. Thank you. It all feels a bit epochal. I’m going to have to do some pondering on… Read more »

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

Well, once I saw the dates–I am a geek about the years 68 – 72, really–and a bit less about 62 – 67 (stems from Stoneslove). And exactly on the events in France!!! Did my undergrad thesis on the Weather Underground, so I kinda know the haps during their years of operation (which, actually, match Chiron in Aries!! LOL)…YES I was thinking last night…I always wished I’d lived then (secretly admonished my p’s for not being part of the Diggers, lol). But it’s an inspiring question. Conditions are similar but ratcheted up by many degrees. What did they do last… Read more »

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

No – don’t shut up! I’ve been outta town and offline but just wanted to say that I hope you always lead with that dazzling mind of yours though I’m sure it’s but one of your attributes – the unworthy will wilt in it’s presence leaving only the suitable suitors 🙂

Lux Interior Is My Co-PilotMM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

It really is all about the hopeless yearning. “Don’t read ‘he’s not that into you’ or ‘the rules’, instead favour Rumi and consult the i-ching.

LupaMM Member
Lupa

So much fun reading this! SO funny, I love it. AND appreciate such a timely reminder ! I’m going to print it off and keep it by my bed. Thank you Mystic !

WatersnakeMM Member
Watersnake

Spot on, Mystic. I had the recent realisation that I love being single. In fact, the thought of hauling around an ‘other’ as I zoom about my world or – worse – having someone full time in my space actually gives me the creeps. Now that you have so brilliantly distinguished the definition of Love ‘Zombie’, it’s time to name and define being the SOURCE of love and connection and how that plays out in a powerful life. You know……how ‘Goddess’ energy manifests in the 21st century!

Jokerman
Jokerman

Being so heavily Neptune I thought 1, 2, 4 & 5 were just natal, all part of the deal.
I grew up thinking only Woody Allen was the only person who went to see psychoanalysts.
Not that it did him a lot of good.

studentessaMM Member
studentessa

Yearner in recovery here:: Dante is the og haute(?) love zombie . Timeless literature influencing centuries of art and inquiry. Seems like the only right thing to do as an exile. The only good thing I ever did w the -itis was make something inspired. Among other behaviors that were ..less evolved lol. (Chart ruler Moon in Pisces and Venus Libra(as a general Stellium Scorpio was a readily available excuse pre Mystic days.. ) Once recovered from this condition makes it hard to imagine going back. I just really no longer sympathize with someone’s influence hijakcing my emotions/ physiology.I’m glad… Read more »

firecloud
firecloud

Lol. I have Neptune opposite Mars, Neptune sextile Sun, Neptune square Moon and plenty of love zombie experience but am also super into psychology, figuring out my shit and alone time so this is both accurate and hilarious.

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

The alleged love hormone – oxytocin. Partners well with dopamine. They are their own loved up couple weaving spells on even the hardest of hearts though those folk may keep their crushes secretly locked away in a file called trash that might be carelessly taped over the previous name (denial) and thus haven’t learnt the 101 of any soundtrack in your head/bod that is ignored getting louder. You gotta let the thing flow through the bod and remember it’s a hormone – it can be excreted – it ain’t permanent. You need to manufacture more so there’s got to be… Read more »

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

So many great lines, Centaurus! “Neptune is a primary shareholder in oxytocin.”

Is this why all the theatre kids were like CRAZIER than us punks and metalheads but were stone cold sober?

kriblackMM Member
kriblack

Ok, just started a LZ crush on your writing skills Centaurus. Beautiful imagery.

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Thanks ladies – big grins for you for those lovely words.

I’ve actually copied this rant as I’m going to work it in with something I’ve been lakadasically playing around with but is starting to resemble something – loosely.

Hahahaha – there were crazier folk than us punks and metalheads?

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

Srsly, I did not plan to, but I got into musical theatre in my Maoist street punk days (no one else was going to play Maria in SoM on my watch–the nuns loved that for sure…”she’s always late for everything”) and I was stunned–STUNNED I tell you!–at all the sexual intrigue, betrayal (and openess!) and standards of acceptable shared personal drama / dysfunction (I guess I mean codependence…lol).

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

The contrasts – punk meets the prim and wholesome Maria and creates a fusion that made folk forget she was late…again! Haha. Good vox required for that too so I’ve got to acknowledge that bit of talent 🙂

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

honestly, it’s ridiculous how I never noticed until the last few years how absolutely scared people are of unattached middle-age women. I move four steps forward when they learn I *was* married. Then forward another two steps when they find out I’m a widow (because cool! I didn’t FAIL at it)–but then like, two or three steps backwards when they find out he killed himself–it’s half and half whether I go back or forward when they find out I left him before he did. Totally unbelievable. Also I’ve noticed people loosen up if I mention a potential relationship. So THANK… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman

I’d just go, “Cool, you’ve gotta bike!”

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

Ha! I should deffo qualify I do not have this problem with bikers!!!

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Yes – it’s a thing alright. I don’t know if I’ve read of your marriage and partners death before SR and haven’t got anything that doesn’t feel clunky to say there. I will say though that your way of describing it was bang on with the uncertainty that’s projected around trust. Is an uncomfortable dance for sure. When you add no kids into the discussion they get sad faces – aw, something went wrong (yes – clearly that could be the ONLY reason)? Um – no, didn’t want them. They recoil like they’ve been struck with something a lot harder… Read more »

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

“It’s an expression of me not a challenge to you.” Story of milife, Centaurus!! But do you actually say this to people when they are making faces or judgments you can only read via body lingo? I didn’t mean to sound like people are openly attacking me…it’s just a very subtle comfort-level, like finding out someone else went to the same high school as you or some shit. Like, sometimes you only know they were wary of you until you sense the relief at mentioning “Oh, yes, I remember going through that planning my wedding..,” or some such. “Oh you… Read more »

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Good Q SheRat – Um… short answer is probably not. If it was really covert then I’d probably weigh up my investment and need to call it out and maybe I’d tweak the script a little to something like … ‘ gosh I hope that’s not a challenge to you and your beliefs (winks), or I hope that didn’t make you feel uncomfortable. It is some sort of discomfort that’s going on for the other person. It’s a rub against something they believe to be true is all it is. I don’t know. I don’t always do well in rehearsal… Read more »

dark starMM Member
dark star

The older I get, the more I think : how aqua detached can I get about ppls reactions. I’d like to see the little dance their faces do when you share these details though.

Wish Upon a Star
Wish Upon a Star

They are threatened because you are attractive and interesting.

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

hahahahahaha

Stella PolarisMM Member
Stella Polaris

Yes re (4). It was my modus operandi for years until I just let the couple fantasy go. Frees up energy. Best bit is when those around you also ease up on their coupledom expectations for you.

kriblackMM Member
kriblack

Check, check, check, check and check. With sun, moon, Merc. and Venus in my Pisces 7th house with Neptune squaring three of them, I was definitely born this way but have also actively cultivated. Thankfully (I think) my hormone mix is evolving enough so that I can get the hit safely from films and novels (Pisces moon, yearning is my favorite genre) and less from real life. I thought I had a safe little zombie crush awhile back but a year and a half ago I realized how badly I was allowing it to derail my life. Picked up the… Read more »

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

I hear ya, kriblack! in times of crisis–when I realize I’m LZing out on the wrong person, I just restart up all the bedtime stories I was writing about me and Andy Taylor from Duran Duran! I tweak ’em for now, cause man they were stupid. Tee to the hee! It was great meditation before bed when I was 12 and it is now! Like masturbation! LOL,

kriblackMM Member
kriblack

Ha! I do this too.

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

T-H-I-S is hilarious!

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

I actually have a bit of the loving things (in general) more than wanting them when I get them too.

Is there a safe zombie crush? 😀

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

LOL WELL…..safest is a dead person (’cause what if you were inclined to stalking and lived in the same country, or could go see their shows, etc.). Me, I likes me some Aqua Little Stevie Marriott from Small Faces / Humble Pie. So pretty and cool he was–and underappreciated!

I go for musos, obvs. But this is why fan fic was invented no? OMG the notebooks I have full of my 1985 love triangle with Mick Jagger and Andy Taylor…

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Weeeell, you don’t need to be told you’re playing with fire right! 😀 Oh yeah, they’re a tempting talented bunch and there’s no shortage of LZ options that will typically stay in yes, notebooks or dreamscapes when they’re that iconic but the local ones can be hot bits of trouble as well right. I am in a no crush zone with this lot and I think it’s just a blanket no crush zone right now with Pluto harassing Venus Moon. Even as I’m thinking I’m drawing blanks but I was infected with it….maybe I’ve built an immunity? I’ll have to… Read more »

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

Yeah, the husband was a local muso, so, I know hard well, lol. In fact, it’s my masters project to write about that specific trouble.

In terms of IRL, of course, my new cohort, writers, are not going to be any less trouble (though so far, they are insufferable. pretentiously unpretentious posuer hipsters (which, what the fuq when did that become a thing?). Hence my attachment to Stevie Marriott! lol.

aprilMM Member
april

This tutorial is making me realize that I am probably the narcissistic future-faker cultivating a sense of doomed glamour. OOPS. 😐

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

NOW you need to find a trouble maker with a Mars-Neptune Square and ROCK HIS WORLD!!!! lol

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

LOL

Artemis821MM Member
Artemis821

OMG this is hysterical and wonderful at the same time! There really ARE benefits to being a Love Zombie! I’ve recently discovered my aptitude for being a Love Zombie after a life time of serial monogamous relationships. The past 3.5 years I’ve been dallying with a variety of Love Zombie scenarios (with the variation they are all single men), content and discontent at the same time for the way they vacillate within the same vague and frustrating ranges. But we all know what happens once a lover is ‘caught’ and the standard fare begins … things begin to deteriorate in… Read more »

CarrieMM Member
Carrie

Brilliant as always. May I add:
Insist on getting comfort from the one who hurts you.

skarabMM Member
skarab

Ha, this is great!
I’m a specialist of #2 (started around 5 yrs old) You are so spot on with this one, Mystic – including the hormonal factor – which leads me to the chemical factors of #5:

https://technologyadvice.com/blog/information-technology/activate-chemicals-gamify-happiness-nicole-lazzaro/

I’m going with dopamine & it’s “anticipation” inducing factor as the big hook for a LZ.

skarabMM Member
skarab
scorpiodawnMM Member
scorpiodawn

emotionally absent father, noooooo
i love mennnnnn lol

aprilMM Member
april

lmao <3

scorpiodawnMM Member
scorpiodawn

great stuff.
just had to switch the mother /father personality deficits around lol

Jokerman
Jokerman

My mother (step)father dynamic didn’t need swapping

MissDeeMM Member
MissDee

Love this HOW TO. It’s kinda reverse psychology. Just for the sake of the game. 1) never had this and NEVER (ever) will. I am not made to be someone’s affair. I am girlfriend/wife material or else. It’s been a very long and often lonely 4 years of “OR ELSE” but it still prefer it 2) god this is my after marriage break up relationship of 2009-2011 but it was also friggin’ horrible Uranus in Aries/Chiron in Pisces era so I forgive myself 3) Started EMDR end of May and yes I am loving it. Loved “Walk the line” very… Read more »

GeminianMM Member
Geminian

Said like a boss. Yearn until you burn, research all ties until you realise you have given away a week, if not a year of your time. Desire is that which cannot be requited. Don’t make it the heart’s cocaine I say x

Artemis821MM Member
Artemis821

Beautifully said!

Jane Austin
Jane Austin

Absolutely brilliant

dark starMM Member
dark star

Would it be possible to add a blunt “am I being a lz?” question to the oracle hahah. Like the magic 8 ball

thelovelyducklingMM Member
thelovelyduckling

Or at least that answer somewhere under the questions pertaining to X.

LibrariusMM Member
Librarius

I await this probable new tool with dark, dark apprehension, but I must admit I need it!

CalidorMM Member
Calidor

I suspect the Oracle would say “if you’re asking the question, the answer is yes.” Especially in my case.

Year of the Phoenix
Year of the Phoenix

Always timely Mystic! I have the “tendency” ( like only a 12 th House Leonian Venus Squ Moon in Scorpio can…) Your list has made me feel a tad relieved I have the hormone mix I have now ha! Also admitted to co worker I like being single as it’s simple (truth) I Identified my predilection for rescue romances (Virgo / Virgo rising + Chiron in 7th house ) and cured of inability to notice narcissism in potential partners Planning on getting some counseling, delayed it too long and probably undiagnosed anxiety, depression and ptsd after disaster marriage. Drs can… Read more »

MissDeeMM Member
MissDee

Go and say yes to that colleague NOW and break the LZ spell. Please do it for all us out there not being LZ anymore but with no prospect of reciprocated crushes whatsoever. 🙂

Year of the Phoenix
Year of the Phoenix

Thanks Miss Dee, i will take your lovely advice, you are 100% right and a Virgo so, you know…..

I will ply him with smiles til he actually asks me out properly, being a Virgoan Receptionist it doesn’t feel right to swig beer on the job! He has circled back from the boutique brewery next door so spontaneously offered me one so very cas

He is the ‘new guy’ but from the initial encounter it’s been fun and he is an artist working low paid jobs but knocking himself out, catnip!

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