Ask Mystic: Am I Chaos?

Hey there Mystic,

My question is Am I Chaos?  I’m a long time subscriber, but as a typical Scorpio, I lurk on the forums rather than participate. Your site has been essential in my journey back to my magical witchy self after the end of a tumultuous relationship with a nihilist Virgo who believed in nothing and contributed even less. I have found the Tarot/Oracle essential in resetting my compass or giving me little warnings along the way. 

My question is about Jupiter and how much I am supposed to believe what is happening to me is actually for the best or have I wasted this transit? I’m starting to wonder if perhaps I am just chaos personified?

In 2018 I have been through the breakup of a 3.5-year relationship (with nihilist Virgo) and lost a job I had for two years. In the first two days of a casual job I had emergency surgery and had to take weeks off to recover. My car was vandalized five times whereby I would frequently miss work or have to rely on other people to transport me at the last minute.  My biological father passed away suddenly. I have had multiple housemates move in and out. I have developed a connection with Mr. Taurus and Mr. Aquarius who both had significant mental health episodes after we became involved and recently I have had a disc injury in my back that has left me barely able to walk, again meaning I can’t work and therefore pay bills.

So here I am, again stuck in bed wondering when I will be able to work again and where the hell did Jupiter go? I am Scorpio Sun, Mercury and Pluto, Libra Rising, Venus and Mars. I’m trying to stop my Taurus Moon from comfort eating because I will NOT have Jupiter increasing my waistline.

I don’t aim to be chaotic. But I feel like every other week I’m making some excuse like ‘sorry I can’t walk’, ‘sorry I’m dealing with a family death’, ‘sorry my car is being towed’, ‘sorry I can’t pay the gas bill because I couldn’t work because I was in hospital’… Have I wasted this Jupiter transit? Or is this my version of luck? (that last question wasn’t sarcastic, as a Scorpio I firmly believe that the things that burn us, can transform us). 

Thank you,

Chaotic Scorpio who wishes she wasn’t

Dear Chaotic Scorpio,

Wow. Okay, well I would say that some comfort eating is the least of your worries at the moment. My god, it’s a miracle you can even be so erudite and sane-vibing, after all this. Okay, so Jupiter amplifies. Often, you feel it as ‘luck,’ and it will certainly look that way from the outside, but broadly, the Galaxy King is an amplifier. And it is perfectly likely that in fact, your Scorpio resilience has been amped this year because it’s had to be.

So you have not wasted the Jupiter transit. Don’t even think like that. There are often phases of life when s**t seems to go wrong on a daily basis, and your first thought upon waking is ‘oh fuq’ or ‘now what?’. My thoughts are that (1) your Feng Shui could be super-off where you are living, and you are sleeping in some crap energy, so obviously it’s hard when you are bed-ridden, but please listen to House Witching and see if you can get a friend in to help you with it?

And (2) I betcha that Pluto is squaring your Libra Rising. Pluto transits specialize in this sort of Life Storm. So if Uncle Pluto is the culprit, you’re in luck. All you need to do is change everything. First, House-Witch. Second never mind Mr. Anyone until the storm is over. Thirdly; notice how this is altering your values. And who’s there for you now? Or not? And that if you’re reaching out for Mr. Whoever to assuage the loss of the Virgo Nihilist that it does not work?

Without wanting to diminish the stress of your 2018, I think that it is a Pluto Catharsis. The storm will pass. The chaos abates. And you will be a clearer, stronger person for it.  You are not chaos – you are Evolution, part of which includes a chaotic phase.

What does everyone else think?

Image: Phil Poynter

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WizarDora
MM Member
WizarDora
November 9, 2018 2:42 am

This is off topic…. but how do I change my pic? xxx

AriesMoon
AriesMoon
October 22, 2018 2:56 am

I hear you! I’m a Libra rising and this year has been a shit storm. Plus Saturn squares by transit I think really took their toll too. I literally have changed everything this year. Moved houses, then moved cities, unemployed, then new job, relationship breakup, almost went to court (settled at mediation), debt, health scare.. you name it. Start of year crisis I’m only 26 haha. I literally thought I hit rock bottom, like you couldn’t make that shit up & no joke it got worse. Fuck it- once I embraced it, I found Pluto squares in my transits &… Read more »

Year of the Phoenix
Year of the Phoenix
October 20, 2018 8:13 am

Wise words

HellaHeka
HellaHeka
October 19, 2018 3:33 pm

I read something by Stephen Forest in one of his books about how Jupiter can look more like what you describe than “luck”. Like Shadow Jupiter. Either way, don’t beat yourself up. A lot of shit at once can be more of a birthing (re-birthing; aka scorp) process. Maybe that was a crap a job and you are meant for something better?

Electro
MM Member
Electro
October 17, 2018 12:40 pm

Yes Scorpio IS chaos but someone’s gotta fill the role. Sometimes it’s subtle and sometimes it’s in your face but it’s always churn baby, churn.

Centauri_Scorp
MM Member
Centauri_Scorp
October 17, 2018 11:20 am
Year of the Phoenix
Year of the Phoenix
October 20, 2018 8:16 am
Reply to  Centauri_Scorp

Thanks!

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo
October 17, 2018 9:21 am

Libra rising. What is Chiron doing to your DC right now? I have been under heavy Chiron transits for awhile now. It’s brutal but exhaustingly so. Not like dynamic Pluto brutal. More this relenting retreat into my own strength which feels depleated but endlessly sourced all at once.

Alex E
Alex E
October 16, 2018 11:04 pm

“I don’t aim to be chaotic. But I feel like every other week I’m making some excuse like ‘sorry I can’t walk’, ‘sorry I’m dealing with a family death’, ‘sorry my car is being towed’, ‘sorry I can’t pay the gas bill because I couldn’t work because I was in hospital’… Have I wasted this Jupiter transit? Or is this my version of luck? (that last question wasn’t sarcastic, as a Scorpio I firmly believe that the things that burn us, can transform us). ”

Dude, I think you might BE me….!

SheRat
MM Member
SheRat
October 16, 2018 5:28 pm

Yep. Pluto started squaring my Libra shizz (and everyone else’s!) in 2008 and I got a similar story (spread out over about 5 years now, though). Uncle Pluto isn’t going to stop fuqing with me til after he gets off my Aqua stellium. Good times. (eyeroll)

Anni
Anni
October 16, 2018 12:36 pm

Something I found helpful, when life started imitating one of those collapsing domino set ups, was to head up a page in my journal: ‘What am I Learning?’ We don’t lose what we learn. We find our wisdom and mettle. Once through it all, I hope you find a strength within yourself that wasn’t there before. Perhaps we have certain lifetimes where we pay off our karma quickly? The “luck” of Jupiter?! Although it might not feel like it at the time? I wish you soft place to land and live.

Pegasus
Pegasus
October 16, 2018 10:15 am

Ok just focused on the ‘sorry’s’. Stop saying sorry, it’s a habit we women learn and it’s overused and unnecessary much of the time.
Will read the rest later……

GemLeoLib
MM Member
GemLeoLib
October 16, 2018 6:09 am

Libra rising here as well. I haven’t had a crazy amount of chaos, like you, yet (still have 1 more year of Pluto sq Asc) but so far I’ve had 2 deaths and a potential 3rd coming. I will say I got a semi drastic new hair cut (before venus retro!) and that change was fabulous. Maybe start with a small controlled change like that? Now that we know it’s Crazy Uncle Pluto stirring things up you can anticipate more change and metaphorical deaths? Also- where is Jupiter for you? It doesn’t sound like he is in your 2nd house… Read more »

WizarDora
MM Member
WizarDora
October 16, 2018 2:52 am

Complete death and mulch. Urgh, poor you. Firstly, I am so sorry about your father. Secondly, there appears to be a huge message here, to STOP. When the universe and higher self speaks this loudly, there is a need to listen. I can only imagine with all of your energy, its attraction is extremely seductive for people with massive emotional leprosy and with that, I would say, Second is to ground and centre. Get those boundaries sorted. House witchery and sage cleanse of you, your space and your stuff. By boundaries, I don’t mean, “fuck the world and everyone in… Read more »

surlatable
MM Member
surlatable
October 16, 2018 12:24 am

“all you need to do is change everything”

Since the house collapsed a few months ago my dream life is house hunting, traveling and going to salvage yards for cool architectural finds.

Sick and sleepy is Dreamland revolution.
So much goes on in there I’m tired all day.

Lotus in the mud and all

Squared Virgo
MM Member
Squared Virgo
October 15, 2018 10:39 pm

Pluto! also squaring your Libra Venus & Mars? Uncle Pluto hit my Aries Rising (and Libra Stellium) in 2014 and kept visiting. It is almost over, at least won’t be exact at 16degrees Capricorn ever again, for this life. Holy Persephone… It hurts, it crashes, it hurts again, it seems like “will this never stop?”. It will. For me? Change City. Friends, Home, Work, Family, Health(2 major surgeries!) – all went under scrutiny, all had to evolve, or transformed. It will pass. You will be a new you. And meanwhile, I am sure Jupiter has your back. Although, it might… Read more »

Chaotic Scorpio
MM Member
Chaotic Scorpio
October 15, 2018 10:26 pm

Thank you Mystic, from the bottom of this squishy Scorpio inside its steely shell. Its incredibly powerful to be given permission to not be on top of everything during this storm. I’ll look at taking some feng shui action, perhaps a little every day that I can manage. Also I would like to assure you that Mr Whoevers aren’t being stuffed into a Nihilist Virgo shaped drain, Nihilist was the drain. Perhaps they are tests to see if I’ve gotten better at honouring my own needs in the face of others pain? Ah- thanks for the Mr boundary talk- I… Read more »

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux
October 16, 2018 12:20 am

I like your literary style, do you write?

Ren Wah
Ren Wah
October 15, 2018 10:11 pm

Fuq I have pluto square ascendant natally!

Wish Upon a Star
Wish Upon a Star
October 15, 2018 9:26 pm

This is off topic. I just have a question
The oracle said find out which house Uranus is transittong, that is where freedom can be found. Well it is in the very final stage of 2nd house. Financial Instability. Any suggestions ?

sooshy
sooshy
October 15, 2018 8:06 pm

MM, what a beautiful letter. Chaotic Scorpio, reading this part ” like every other week I’m making some excuse like ‘sorry I can’t walk’, ‘sorry I’m dealing with a family death’… resonated for me. What excuses have you been using until now to deny yourself Love, Life and Living? It’s like Chaos with its string of situations is forcing you to say these words out loud so you can hear them “loud and clear”. What are you really “sorry” about? When we say “sorry”, there is a misdeed we feel we need to redress. What’s yours? Mine was lying to… Read more »

Chaotic Scorpio
MM Member
Chaotic Scorpio
October 15, 2018 9:37 pm
Reply to  sooshy

Thank you so much sooshy, this definitely gives me food for rumination.

scorpiodawn
MM Member
scorpiodawn
October 15, 2018 7:18 pm

i read this weekend that ‘when things fall apart’ by pema chodron is an amazing read. mite get it myself

Chaotic Scorpio
MM Member
Chaotic Scorpio
October 15, 2018 10:02 pm
Reply to  scorpiodawn

I’ve never heard of it, I’ll do a little hunt

Wish Upon a Star
Wish Upon a Star
October 15, 2018 6:08 pm

Dear Beautiful Scorpio, When they made you they broke the mould. Don’t be so hard on yourself, I too have been through a massive, intense shitstorm but it was strewn over a 15 year period. I won’t go into it but just to say that I am in a good place now. When I look back over it I have to congratulate myself for being resilient, learning and building strength. But mostly for maintain ing my identity and compassion. But it takes time. Please be gentle and patient with yourself. You are not chaos, you are a rock. The only… Read more »

Chaotic Scorpio
MM Member
Chaotic Scorpio
October 15, 2018 9:42 pm

Thank you Wish upon a star, I never expected to receive such compassion from my little letter. I was just stuck in a cycle of frustration that I wasn’t riding the waves of Jupiter luck and optimism. But the kindness from MM and this forum has reminded me that perhaps just getting out of bed is enough. I will definitely look into feng shui when I am more able-bodied. The mire my living space has turned into since the injury is a place where nothing can thrive. All the best for your own shitstorm.

Sam
Sam
October 15, 2018 5:49 pm

Jupiter transit as Resetting inner compass is a definite thing, imho. pluto square asc would outweigh that i think, as MM says! A bit like if someone is having a venus conj mars transit and is all excited but oh hey, uranus square moon, or chiron conjunct sun at same time.
also, wow. that’s a lot to be dealing with. hugs. (i know you’re a multi scorp so hugs do not need to be accepted if not required.)

Sam
Sam
October 15, 2018 5:54 pm
Reply to  Sam

also. it sounds like the things that might define you in daily life – who you’re dating, the car and how you get around, who can help you, health, day job, – are being delivered and then taken away thru a revolving door. Loss of father… saturn transit? (I only say that as i experienced the same, and my sympathies .. ) Is something going on in your 6th house? it could be a massive personal renovation as the ‘right’ thing for you is slowly whittled into form, like Michelangelo’s Prisoners statues x ALSO nihilist virgo yuck. no match for… Read more »

Chaotic Scorpio
MM Member
Chaotic Scorpio
October 15, 2018 9:47 pm
Reply to  Sam

I certainly did need something more juicy than nihilist virgo but he did appeal to my Moon in Taurus’s need for security and this relationship was my Saturn return. How do I find out what is happening in my 6th house?

Sam
Sam
October 15, 2018 10:20 pm

Yes, I can relate to the Earth moon needs actually. true x If you’re libra rising, that means aries descendant, and the 6th house is the house just coming up to the descendant from ‘beneath’. So for you it might include both pisces and aries – depending on some details. (Do you know how to look at \ create your astro chart?) Planet transit wise I guess it would be neptune and chiron there, although they’re very slow moving. hmm. I’m not sure if my guess of 6th house matters was on the money… but have a google / think… Read more »

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux
October 15, 2018 10:27 pm
Reply to  Sam

Hang in there Chaotic Scorpio! I second Pi’s comment. I spent the last 9 years being alternately rumbled by Saturn and Pluto taking turns in transiting and squaring my packed 6th and 7th houses…illness, death, divorce, financial disaster, family dramas..it felt neverending (actually it hasn’t ended yet – still a couple of sensitive chart points for those two to say hi to). BUT- it was necessary. My life had such flimsy disfunctional foundations ( actually, make that no foundations) and I had absolutely no idea until the whole lot was demolished. It’s been a struggle I didn’t think I was… Read more »

Chaotic Scorpio
MM Member
Chaotic Scorpio
October 15, 2018 9:44 pm
Reply to  Sam

Oh we hug, we hug like the depths of the ocean. Thank you. There is still so much I can learn about these transits. Thank you Pi.

Unicorn Sparkles
MM Member
Unicorn Sparkles
October 15, 2018 5:33 pm

I kind of assume that if you were chaos you would be bringing these events to other people’s lives instead of being the recipient of the turmoil. I have a couple of friends who are experiencing the same “what the hell else could happen” 2018. A Virgo and a Gemini. The things they took for granted as being safe have all fallen apart and the weight of resulting added responsibilities has left them carrying a burden that has them barely keeping above water. They’re clinging to the last vestiges of routines and safe places that no longer resonate but were… Read more »

Chaotic Scorpio
MM Member
Chaotic Scorpio
October 15, 2018 9:50 pm

Thank you Unicorn Sparkles, I don’t intend schadenfruede but there is comfort in knowing others are surfing this tidal wave!

emg
MM Member
emg
October 15, 2018 5:32 pm

Uranus This shrieks Uranus. But I have to admit Jupiter always acts for me as an amplifier of crap first, allowing you to see what’s really go to go so you can bring in the delights he brings. But this sounds like a real eye opening phase of change, the deeper the better so if you can harness Pluto too you’ll be the winner for sure.

Chaotic Scorpio
MM Member
Chaotic Scorpio
October 15, 2018 9:53 pm
Reply to  emg

I briefly found some genuine optimism in September- not connected to any achievement or outside circumstance- just a well of feeling that I was strong and worthy and could captain my ship. Thank you for the feedback- Pluto’s such a taskmaster!

LaFemma
LaFemma
October 16, 2018 6:32 am
Reply to  emg

Chaotic Scorpio my dad passed away this year too, my condolences, it is so hard. I was coming in here to say what about Uranus?! I have had Uranus passing my Nadir and Opposing my natal Pluto, Moon, Saturn at the Midheaven and hoo boy, I have had a year of “sorry I can’t….” but related to family with some crazy work stress thrown in. I am afraid to even say it’s settling down but thankfully it is. This also sounds like Saturn, Saturn could be transiting the end of your 3rd or beginning of your 4th house, and thus… Read more »

JacQui
MM Member
JacQui
October 15, 2018 5:06 pm

Phoenix rises from ashes

Chaotic Scorpio
MM Member
Chaotic Scorpio
October 15, 2018 9:55 pm
Reply to  JacQui

Burn it all down

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon
October 15, 2018 1:57 pm

So sorry you are going through all this at once. It will pass. And yes, you will be stronger for it. I agree with Mystic, don’t blame Jupiter, it’s likely Pluto influencing. Saturn may be influencing too. Could you be having a Saturn transit? When Saturn raked through Scorpio a few years back I had an awful time, excruciating (went over my Jupiter, Venus, Neptune, and progressed stellium), and horrible things like you described kept happening to me. Obviously things need to change, the best thing you can do is like Mystic suggested – change with them. Especially if you… Read more »

Chaotic Scorpio
MM Member
Chaotic Scorpio
October 15, 2018 9:57 pm
Reply to  PlutoMoon

I’ve had a few years of Saturn in my Libra and then Scorp- I was thinking I’d get some easy sailing for a bit. Like the journey of The Star tarot card perhaps. Thanks so much PlutoMoon, best wishes to you.

fishgirl
fishgirl
October 15, 2018 1:54 pm

Love this bit: “If Uncle Pluto is involved, all you need to do is change everything.” I also like what MM says about noticing who is there for you now. It’s a cleansing, and I think you sound very sane and unchaotic just for noticing that your responses are so dramatic and extreme. If you really were chaos, you wouldn’t have that clear objectivity despite your obviously huge and awful life events. Please be kind to yourself! Also, I hope your back heals, it sounds like a really tough year. I have a multiple conjunct scorpio friend who has been… Read more »

Unicorn Sparkles
MM Member
Unicorn Sparkles
October 15, 2018 5:27 pm
Reply to  fishgirl

That is the same line that resonated with me. When everything is falling apart – then clearly none of it is working for you.
Change it all….change everything

Chaotic Scorpio
MM Member
Chaotic Scorpio
October 15, 2018 10:00 pm
Reply to  fishgirl

Thank you fishgirl, oh I feel for your multi-conjuct scorp. Wringer is the word. Perhaps that should be on a t-shirt- ‘just change everything’. Blessings right back.

cynthia
MM Member
cynthia
October 15, 2018 1:49 pm

Beautifully articulated, Mystic . I hope you draw great comfort from these words, Chaotic Scorpio. Blessings.

Chaotic Scorpio
MM Member
Chaotic Scorpio
October 15, 2018 10:01 pm
Reply to  cynthia

How lucky to have such guidance. Thank you all.

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