A Cancer In A Strange Relationship With A Sagittarius seeks advice. Weirdly, it’s the Sagittarius being “non-straightforward.”
I hope this finds you well. I’m pretty new to this and delighted to have found your site. I am reading the archive but haven’t gotten through all of it and need your wisdom.
I met this Sagittarius-excuse-of-a-man on Christmas Eve in 2016 and Venus-Eros hit me up pretty hard. I’m Cancer Sun, Gemini Moon, and Leo Rising. So I spent all of 2017 in denial that I was in love. Me in love? Don’t be silly – love is never stronger than pride; I don’t care what Sade sings. Despite my futile attempts at denial, there was no denying that we spoke every day. We went to the theatre and dinner. I met his friends. He introduced me to his sister. I got invited to watch him play with his team, etc. He’s Leo Moon with a Scorpio Mars, and I have no idea what his rising is.
Eros Hit Me Up Pretty Hard
There was an incredible physical tension between us; we would avoid touching each other so carefully – as though if we did, it would set off a nuclear reaction. It was like Pride and Prejudice set in 2017. And we hail from a Mediterranean culture where everyone touches everyone; physicality is part of how we communicate.
Then at the end of February 2018, I ended up sweetly and gently confessing the depth of my feelings. Aaaand I was harshly (even a tad cruelly) rejected. So I retreated into my shell and cut him off. He reacted to this with a mixture of attempts at manipulation and, as I later found out when I met him for the first time after two months, fury. He would not stop telling me how mad he was at me for cutting him off, which confused me, since HE was the one who had rejected ME. His self-righteous anger disgusted me, and so we fell into silence again.
“Unwittingly propelled by the Mercury Retrograde in Leo – I reached out to him.”
Probably unwittingly propelled by the Mercury Retrograde in Leo – I reached out to him. Now, I know Centaurs are not known for the linguistic skills (if anything they have the uncanny ability to say the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong way) but Jesus tap-dancing Christ; do they have no capacity for empathy and a little self-reflection? He was keen to hear from me, yet he was shooting arrows during the conversations trying to load all the responsibility of the state of affairs between us on me.
Is it always going to be like this in my relationship with a Sagittarius? A petulant, demanding child who wants all the attention, adoration, and affection but does not want to take on the responsibility of how his actions and words affect others? Is there any way to handle this without my sensitive side getting hideously upset? We had phenomenal intellectual chemistry and would spend hours staring into each other eyes talking about the weirdest mix of subjects. I missed that, I do not find it so often, which is why I’d like to salvage a friendship out of this.
Also, I was wondering if the reason I got hit by Eros’ arrow is because of my Mars Capricorn linked up with his Venus Capricorn, but my Venus Leo is not compatible with this Mars Scorpio?
I dare to ask him straight questions, but he’s not one for straight-forward responses. So I’m turning to you instead.
Much love, the Fiery Crab.
This Is The First Time I Have Received An Email Complaining That A Sagittarius Is Manipulative
Dear Fiery Crab,
Well, I’d say to sit this one out until after Mars is Direct, but then, shortly after Mars is out of the shadow zone, VENUS turns Retro. And in Scorpio for your troubles. Yes, it’s that kind of year. So actually, this is the first time that i have received an email complaining that a Sagittarius is manipulative.
Something is missing here, though. Sagittarius rejects Cancer – does it abruptly enough to sting. Sometime later Cancer reaches out to Sagittarius (I am assuming you have not seen Mercury Retro anti reach out warnings in the Horoscopes?) and now he’s devolved from being caustic to furious? So I think what is missing here is the nature of his rebuttal. Was it because he was gay, had a partner, was wanting only to be friends with you? And so you abandoning the friendship when he felt he was just honest hurt his feelings?
Or is our Sagittarius a bit of a narcissist? Did he think he could be nasty and that you’d still lurk around to cop more of his slings and arrows? Because, if he had no interest in you whatsoever, wouldn’t he be careful about it? Letting you down gently and all? And what sort of Sagittarius is “not one for straight-forward responses?”
A Relationship With A Sagittarius Should Not Be This Cryptic
Leo-Scorpio energy is snazzy, high-chemistry, super-aware of one another. It could power up a whole new set of endorphins that scientists have not been able to i.d yet. It’s also likely that it was the Eclipse firing you up, rather than just a little old Mercury Retrograde.
And yes, i think if you had great intellectual chemistry, then clearly your communication should be strong enough to get clear answers. Vibe-Wise, i think you like a challenge – which he is, but it’s not necessarily a mountain you want to climb. Not even the foothills. And regardless of the intellectual/physical thing between you, is he actually up for evolving it any further at this point? You successfully ignored him for a year, and he did not make a move even to fix the friendship, let alone aim for more.
A Future Faker?
My feeling is that you two were tripping on one another’s charisma and that zing between you but that he is one of those people that likes to keep everything perpetually simmering…but nothing ever happens — a Future Faker. A Verger – as in something is always on the verge of happening. Enough unresolved sexual tension to power an Eighties Soap Opera series but never the result.
Still, the theatre, the dinner, the sister – it’s confusing. What does everyone else think? Has anyone else had a Strange Relationship With A Sagittarius?
Image: Glen Luchford