Ask Mystic: Astrologically Destined To Be Single?

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Hello Mystic!

This might sound like a silly question but I have been seriously wondering it for some time.  It’s the type of thing where people have knee-jerk answers that I don’t necessarily trust. So I’m asking you. 

Is it just better, astrologically speaking, for some of us to be single? I am a multiple Virgo and it is all in the 5th House. I really like creatively expressing myself through my relationship and a romantic partner is the perfect audience. Plus I can morph from a me into a we, optimise my habits and interests to theirs (at the time, it never feels like a huge sacrifice to lose myself in the process). And have babies! I only have one, but I definitely want more.  It is a surprise and puzzle (and often feels like a tragedy) to me how I haven’t been able to manifest more in the last five years since I had my first. Though I get that having one amazing kid and being young and presumably fertile enough to have more is not a reproductive tragedy, objectively speaking.

Saturn Return Ended My Marriage

Anyway. My Saturn (and Uranus) are in the 7th house.  With my Saturn return I ended up getting kicked out of my marriage, house, and basically my whole idea of my life. Two days later, I was happier than ever, feeling like a HUGE weight was lifted, like I was FINALLY free, but from something I had very much wanted and chosen.  Before Saturn Return, I didn’t think much beyond my partnership or close one-on-one friendships, though I’ve always had many acquaintances.  Now I find myself better nourished in many ways by spiritual community than I ever was in partnerships. And our mystic path meets a lot of what I was getting out of sex. Honestly. A connection to something transcendent, being brought into my body…

But I do miss partnership, romance and sexuality with someone other than just myself. It’s been a year and a half with me on my own, and longer since my ex husband and I were really together in any functional way. Probably since 2013 (when I was madly in love with someone insane, but at least they loved me back). I often feel like all I do is parent and work and show up to my (arduous) spiritual path. Sometimes sleep. Walk in the forest. Rewarding, all of it, but where’s the fun? And at the same time, I do not want to step off my path, or back into the depths of horribleness of my last relationship. Maybe I’m just Saturn’s Bride in this life?

The One Romantic Possibility

Meanwhile, I tried to get on a dating app, because when you work with birthing women and your kid goes to a school where every other parent is still married, you aren’t going to run into available men in the course of everyday life. I have been texting and been on a few dates with a guy my age. He’s a Taurus, which is new for me.  He is nice, interested in me and works around my schedule. But he’s also, for illl-defined reasons, only starting on his career path. Parties a lot. Lots of kind of childish ego (his car has its own Instagram). This is obviously not going anywhere serious (or maybe anywhere at all) and my guidance on it is basically “nah,” but I am so reluctant to give up the One Romantic Possibility in my life. 

Is this just it? Saturn, service and meditating on the karmic importance of not always getting what you want? Or is there hope for a relationship (and kids) for me again in this lifetime? If my whole chart and life experience seems to be warning me away from my relationship vibe (which yes, I probably lean on too heavily), is there any way to still have it in my life or is it better to just go full nun?  Especially when full nun means witchy shamanic goodness. Which is pretty cool.

Thanks!

Saturn’s Bride

Saturn’s Bride

Dear Saturn’s Bride,

This is a really interesting question.  Working with labouring mothers is probably the least-likely job in which to encounter available men that there is out there. So yes to the dating app but no to Taurus. As you sound deep, thoughtful and super-grounded. You’re clearly keen on having more kids and I am sorry but seriously…his car? Plus you’re obviously not feeling it. Let’s take Taurus as being a handy omen-indicator for what you do and don’t want in a partner.  Why not a fireman? Also a community worker and works weird shifts like you?

So it will be interesting to see what everyone else thinks but i think you’re on a roll with Saturn in Capricorn + Uranus in Taurus supporting your Earth Vibe. You’re also Saturn Return seasoned. And you seem to have a healthy appreciation for the advantages of a shamanic-single-Saturn’s Bride path along with an open-ness to a good relationship.  Actually, i think it is time to unleash a strategy based around Virgo Dating Efficiency. That or (safely) set a small fruit basket on fire and call the fire brigade? Or put a cat up a tree that needs to be rescued? I am feeling the fireman thing for you.

Virgo Dating Efficiency

More broadly, there is no astrological “must be single” indicator in my opinion. People with loaded seventh houses seem to prefer to be partnered but sometimes they can be single but work in a solid creative collab, you know? There are legs of our life journey that are best traversed without a one on one partner and eras that thrive off that. We live in an age where we don’t have to mate for societal sufficiency. As Rebecca Traister points out in All The Single Ladies, we are also living in an unprecedented time in terms of advantages for single females. Relationships in general are in hyper-flux. In part, you are a dimension of that – one tiny facet at least.  You don’t have to stay in an unfulfilling or dangerous relationship. Brilliantly, you can support yourself and your child. You can follow a creative/spiritual path and have it be enough. Or form other styles of fabulous relationship.

But astrologically, relationships are vehicles for growth and the big ones tend to come along with outer planet aspects to the Ascendant, Moon and Venus.  I think you’re perfectly positioned to be either a very fetching bride of Saturn or to find a Mr Virgo!  What does everyone else think?

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Virgonator
Virgonator

Okay, an update. I decided to go for it with this Taurus. We went on a lovely date and had more fun than I have had in literally years. It was like opening a door in my psyche that I had sealed off for 4 or 5 years I subsequently spent about three days crying and now I feel great. Still not sure how our (his and my) lives may or may not connect given my many responsibilities and his different orientation, but I am happy whenever I see him or talk to him, and he is very kind and… Read more »

Gemyogi
Gemyogi

I ponder this question quite often. When my life’s going well and I’m feeling positive I just get on with it, but then I’m depressed I want a partner and feel like ‘what is wrong with me?’ and ‘why can’t I find someone?’ I do enjoy being single and in charge of my own life, having control of my living space and energy, being free. And I think we’ve been sold a lie, that fairytale ‘happy ever after’ bullshit that you need to find ‘the one’ otherwise your life is sad and incomplete. The modern idea of marrying for love… Read more »

ÁNLEIFR
ÁNLEIFR

THIS! I have often wondered, we are the only species on this earth that are supposed to have intercourse with ONE person for the whole existence of our life. No other animal, mammal, insect, organism, plant you name it does this. How many marriages end in divorce? How many others are living in misery because they will go to hell if they divorce? How many married people CHEAT on one another? I am so sick of RELIGION, the cause of all this sh*t. Do this or you go to hell, be this way or go to hell, mate for life… Read more »

Gemyogi
Gemyogi

Yes. Agree. Religion seems to me to be corrupt rich old white man damning people if they don’t follow ‘the rules’. Sort of like capitalism.

I’m a proud pagan atheist. At least, I believe in the goddess, life force, and many others like Quan Yin and Artemis. But that cranky old white bearded God threatening hellfire? No way.

Gemyogi
Gemyogi

F**k that

quietglamour
quietglamour

Virgo Moon conjunct SN. Pluto in 5th. Loaded Cap stellium 7th house. I decided today that I’m giving up completely on romantic love and men. To spare myself more sadness, agony and despair. Especially when it seems like everyone around me is happily coupled up. In my 29 years of life, I’ve only met 2 men I was genuinely, utterly attracted to. One when I was 16. The second was a stranger I chatted with briefly a couple of years ago. Have always been used to being alone. Aqua Sun. I’ve tried too hard to make it work with men… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman

Sounds like Aqua Sun having Saturn return. The sky will change.

emg
emg

By 29 I had met only two men I had been really attracted to and was about to divorce the one I married. I then went on to marry another one I wasn’t that into but who gave myself and my new daughter the best chance in life. Then I met a few who were chapters and I learned so much about myself and now I am with another who I am/was attracted to which may just have run it’s course. Honestly don’t write relationship off. Just write off trying to make it perfect! It won’t be. It is just… Read more »

Pi
Pi

I’m really loving your life philosophies, emg xxo

emg
emg

Or is it my grand piano ?

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

I’ve been re-reading the comments here and finding lots of food for thought, especially about the 5th house. I’m not sure I’ve ever properly done my 5th house. (Or my whole chart to be honest except for the lo-Neptune sq Venus, lolz). The Triple Toro and I parted ways this week, for definite this time. I’m feeling sad, but the sadness relates more to my own feeling about lacking a tribe and ‘starting again’ – again – at my age. Saturn is almost on my 5th house moon-Lilith. I realised that the last few years have been about erasing the… Read more »

Laura
Laura

Highfiving you 🙂

emg
emg

Enjoy you. Relish the chance to be just in your energy for a while and it won’t be long until you meld with another.

dark star
dark star

Congrats on this new era and to reclaiming your juiciest self!

Pi
Pi

Damn girl, you can do it. No compromise. Your ex-husband: What a c***. Fuq all of them off into the wide blue yonder. You are free.

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

Yeah he really was. I am only now beginning to realise the extent of abuse perpetuated against me. Part of a much longer story.
Chiron in my 8th, need I say more.

Pi
Pi

Ouch.

Aquasunrise
Aquasunrise

My compassion to you – how painful to experience a controlling partner who withheld love. Yes at this age I agree it’s challenging yet when your space returns to you, is clear maybe you’ll see beautiful creative possibilities!

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Feel you about finding the tribe vibe later.

You’ve got the Tricksy Gift of freedom now. But TBH you were finding that even in your TT relationship, with some lovely Taurean attention and the comfort of that deep earthy peace.

Laundry and freshening linen is always a beautiful honouring of sweet self.

Sorry for your sadness; you are You, and that is awesome to be. Noone else can do it!

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

That is really true actually Mille – I have felt able to focus more on myself because of his complete attention and openness. No control dramas to keep me hooked into insecurity.

Virgo Ellie
Virgo Ellie

Virgo Sun here and this question has always been a focus for me. I enjoy being single. However, I miss having that connection. Had it once and thought I’d find it again… nope!

My Virgo 11th house is loaded. My 7th house is empty. 8th house with True Node and my 5th house with Saturn and Chiron.

Medically I can’t have children so my mission in life was not to find a father. I want intimacy.

Aquasunrise
Aquasunrise

Is that 5th Pisces ruled? Lol, PI your comment on dating a Pisces was too funny, I feel some truth in it. Well my progressed chart has Pisces stellium (venus/ Mercury) at 15 degrees (same as Neptune) and I guess it’s spiritual learning – Neptune as the higher octave of love…so long as no one gets swept away by illusions. Love here can be beautiful, myriad of feelings/ amazing connection – self/ creativity? Healing through mediums…saturn in the 5th (I’ve Capricorn here) is working at pleasure – delay for gain, maturity.

Pi
Pi

Yes, keeping one eye on solid ground as required 😉 Xx

ÁNLEIFR
ÁNLEIFR

something very interesting I have been researching is that my North Node and Part of Fortune and Saturn are ALL in my 8th house in Virgo. From what I read the North Node in the 8th signifies finding another and merging as one into them sexually, physical, emotionally and spiritually. So, that is what I have lacked in the past lifetimes I guess but the interesting thing is I have the Part of Fortune there to help and I think that is why I am Venus in Scorpio, I need that intensity from Venus in Scorpio to be able to… Read more »

ÁNLEIFR
ÁNLEIFR

We need to start our own little dating site right here among all of us 🙂
Now that i know about astrology, I really don’t think I would like to be with someone who does not or worse, thinks you are going to heck for it LOL. So we are all like minded, I’ll go first: single male, 39, Sag sun, Leo moon, Rising Cap seeking single female, preferably rising Scorpio 😉

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

We are all scattered all over the world, though. Where do you live?

ÁNLEIFR
ÁNLEIFR

Oklahoma, you?

Pi
Pi

Omg are you a cowboy? Say yes.

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

Brad Pitt is from Oklahoma 😉

ÁNLEIFR
ÁNLEIFR

yes ma’am, well I wear boots anyway 😉

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

Florida.

MissDee
MissDee

I am wondering the same thing.
I’ve been alone basically for most of my life.
Aside from my marriage (10 years) there were very few man before.
There have been some after but none of those relationships got serious (as in “living together”) and then nothing for the past 4 years.
Virgo rising here, which means 5th house in Cap, not exactly a poliamourus profile so to speak.
And Pluto has been sitting there for many years now, but it has brought nothing significant love wise.

Laura
Laura

So you are basically Saturn (Cap) in the 5th, and now have Pluto and Capricorn there. I get it. I am natal Saturn in Taurus in the 5th. It’s not a death sentence. It just means you are serious about love affairs. Pluto there may revamp your whole consciousness on the subject, if you allow it to. Remember 5th house is also creativity, self expression. Maybe get into an earthy art form, like pottery or woodworking and express your longing there? Loads of good comments on this subject below. <3

MissDee
MissDee

I am tired of finding ways of not thinking about love. It’s the only thing I crave.
I have been alone for ages and I know myself well enough to know that no art will ever (EVER) help me expressing my longing of love. Actually the thought of expressing my longing in arts has always been quite depressing for me, but I know it’d be easier if I had an artsy hobby at least.

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

I did an Oracle question the other day (which I do constantly, sorry Mystic but if the Oracle gets bogged down it’s probably me, lol) for the Dating Drought and it gave me the best answer, and it’s true: It’s not a drought – you are just fairly fussy and it is a good thing. Also a good thing to grok is Ram Dass’ take on being love rather than seeking to be in love with another person, because it puts yourself in a position of dependency on another in order to experience being “in” love – when you can… Read more »

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

I have retrograde Saturn in my Cancer 5th that trines my Sun-Venus in Scorpio 8th. Pluto-Moon conjunct in my Libra 7th. Marriage is good for legal reasons; also taxes & health insurance (in the US). I’ve done it twice. I’ll never get married again though unless a prenup is involved. Even if we only have two rocks to rub together between us. *learning* Do not romanticize having a life partner, & never marry for round the clock romantic ambiance. Romance is typically fleeting, as it should be: true romantics are spontaneous, not regular like the bus. Will he have your… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman

Why do women always leave the toilet seat down?

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

Lol Jokerman you cheeky devil x

It’s so you don’t drive off the cliff when you’re dropping the kids off at the swimming pond. We’re always looking out for you.

But I ofc take it a step further: I insist that the toilet LID must always be down too, which applies to ladies & gents. Toilet lids left up is bad feng shui. Always looking out for you 😉

Jokerman
Jokerman

I agree. I’m quite particular about toilets. I can’t stand the lid being left up. But even worse evidence of erratic driving when the kids are being dropped off. That’s what brush is for.. idiot!

My fave on the matter is “Kenny”, an Aussie Mockumentary about a port-@-loo guy.

sphinx
sphinx

Sweet! I have NN in the 7th.
You are reminding me of my my Cancerian Mother in Law’s partner advice (well ex-MIL, but she said I would always be her DIL, no matter her son being around. She said: “He should be kind, he should be generous, he should have worked for Macquarie Bank and he should hold your hand when you cross the road.”
😀

(P.s. all of my long-term boyfriend’s mothers have been Cancerian as is my husband’s Mum).

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

Aww your Cancer MIL sounds like a sweet, smart cookie. How blessed you are to snag her xx

emg
emg

Wow. Never had a connection to MIL. Virgo Pisces Aries so far my connection is always leo rising for my mates. Always guaranteed. Which makes us always composite 12th House suns ? Deep.

sphinx
sphinx

Yes, she was amazing!
I read that the MIL in your chart is the 10th H. I only have Chiron there which hardly seems a convivial “in-law” placement. (I pretty much only dated men who like cooking also).

emg
emg

Hmmmm my 10th is empty of anything so maybe that speaks

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

I have retro Saturn in Taurus in my 5th, opposite my Venus/Jupiter/Neptune in Scorpio. Also married and divorced twice, and I also have zero plans of marrying again unless a prenup is involved (though honestly I don’t see myself marrying again – the whole institution is messed up, too patriarchal). And yes, toilet LID down, always! 🙂

Jokerman
Jokerman

Ifya a lot Virgo you tend to be bit fussy, too fussy, maybe. (I’m just a bloke but here’s my 28cents worth)
I have Venus, Mars, Pluto & Vesta (the last 3 all a bit Scorp) in 1st Decan Virgo, all pinged by 1st Decan Cancer, Scorpio & Capricorn. I get scared by lotsa cleavage, short skirts and heels. Maybe there is ‘no-go’ areas that you are not recognizing?

Pi
Pi

It’s the reason I go cold on virgo energy, romantically
Great fraternal connection but my romanticist tendencies / virgo judgement, ne’er the twain shall meet. A piscean heart not won by criticism.

I love short skirts , spike heels and cleavage. Just not all together. But if it is, then hey. You’re only young once 🙂

Jokerman
Jokerman

Ok, l understand that, but Virgoan Venus cj Mars= kinkmeister behind closed doors. My take after finding 2 others who report similar.

Jokerman
Jokerman

Atbc, it’s a judgement for me not to go there. What they do is up to them. The Venn Diagram just doesn’t overlap.

emg
emg

Bizarre eh? Pisces 7th house Virgo. Never lasts. As a cancer I’m really not enjoying Aqua romance love sex vibe. But clinical impersonal for me.

Pi
Pi

Do you reckon it’s a quincunx thing?

emg
emg

I reckon it’s AI meets squishy human!

Oneofthepossums
Oneofthepossums

I often laugh- with compassion I promise- when people bemoan 18 months of a single life.. I’m going on a decade… quite literally.. when I saw the title of this post I thought “hey maybe it’s my astrology” but I think 18 months, especially as you’ve had significant relationships before, is just a time of recalibration and (certainly from the looks of this Taurus fellow) a time to recognize what you don’t want.. perhaps these dudes will be sent your way just to make it super obvious.. but I’d trust your instincts on this and don’t stay in any relationship… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman

I like fish with aioli, lettuce, grated carrot and a lemon / ginger drizzle redolent on alfalfa and shredded capsicum.

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

I would be happy on that plate but without alfalfa. Seriously, when i die, do NOT put me on alfalfa. And as a neptunian, i will be thirsty for a sauce…where’s the sauce??

Virgonator
Virgonator

Yeah, it is a little silly of me to be like “ack, 18 months!” I’ve been partnered basically nonstop for the last 12 years, so I know I can be in relationships. I’m just wondering if I should, I guess. Everything in my life is better, exponentially, now that I’m single. And yet, moth to a flame…

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Yes! 18 mo is just growing out of one phase. Then you grow into all the other phases. With or without partners, all the phases of You come and go, and you need to catch those tides when you can make yourself able.

VirgoStellium
VirgoStellium

Don’t lose hope, Saturn’s Bride! My experience so far (non astrological) is that it’s all random. I’ve been trying so hard to make new friends in my new city, and it’s been exhausting and demoralizing. But then I remember how randomly I met my 2 best friends… I tried so hard to adopt a dog (it’s not as easy as it might seem, in NYC) and I would apply constantly on petfinder. I would usually get a reply saying the dog was already adopted out and the shelter hadn’t had time to update the listing. I started looking in June,… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman

They got pregnant when they weren’t trying?
Now THAT is miraculous!

VirgoStellium
VirgoStellium

My friend was infertile. Did IVF (3 cycles). Tried acupuncture. Nada. Gave up. Continued to have unprotected sex but without expecting any outcome. Got pregnant 5 months after making her peace with the fact that she’d probably never have kids. Weirdest thing ever.

Pegasus
Pegasus

The happiest, most fulfilling relationship in my entire life is with my dog, totally comfortable to sleep with with a sweet sense of humour.
Now this is from a woman who has had her hands on thousands of men, all my life it was raining men until now so guess iv’e OD’ed on them that or their attributes don’t compare to my Daisy Dog
Love being solo, alone, not lonely and yet i’m a very sociable Sagg.
There are many advantages for having just ONE child, Virgonator, you can always borrow more.

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

And you can give the little lovelies back later 🙂

DevotedGem
DevotedGem

My feeling is that this is a common dilemma these days. What I try to embrace is this philosophy: Witchy, spiritually attuned women have much work to do, energetically and earthily, generating and birthing the new, more feminine/goddess embracing paradigm. Whether we are consciously aware of it or not. Something is being born and I think it’s the generative, creative power of us women who are making it happen. So naturally, there are no men showing up. Naturally, the more generic dudes just don’t cut it. There is a reason “virgins” had spiritual power: you are whole unto yourself. All… Read more »

DevotedGem
DevotedGem

An astrologer actually once told me I fit the “nun template”.

emg
emg

Ha. I’ve been told I have the Jesus template. By three differing astrologer types. Oh god that didn’t end so well !

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

Oooh, I LIKE the sound of this. Gonna take that in and work with it… 🙂

pearl
pearl

This!!

Claire
Claire

Honestly she sounds like she knows the answer. And if she wants to know what 30 something spunky Libra would do? Take his car for a ride but return it and walk away. You can do that. You can have fun and then walk away. Its good for you.

ÁNLEIFR
ÁNLEIFR

Sometimes we can’t control the urges/obsessions/craving of longing for a partner no matter how hard we try to stop it. I am trying to learn to control it, I am a Venus in Scorpio so something as little as a smile and eye contact can all of a sudden induce intense feeling, emotion and sparks that take control of my whole being, researching, cyber stalking finding out everything about them, obsessing whether or not not they like me. It suxs BIG TIME and I don’t want a serious relationship just companionship but when VIS takes hold it is hold to… Read more »

ÁNLEIFR
ÁNLEIFR

oops this was meant for the first post on this thread lol

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Have been thinking a lot about this phase and how all astro types go through it. It’s part of the human condition and so much more than a biological urge , i do believe it, as the mental and emotional energies are just as much in play as the hormonal. I’m Venus Aqua trine Uranus Libra so i don’t try to control it as a Scorp type there. But i guess i try to control it by exploring my way through to learn more about the psychological dynamics with the body. That bodily electricity with only certain people! It must… Read more »

LaFemma
LaFemma

It took me a a few years to meet my boyfriend after breaking up with my son’s dad. Many dates, many duds, and my only regret is letting the earlier dudes distract me from my me time and my son, because now I have the full deal again (and very little alone time) and that time where it was just him and me has passed. I have a lot of midheaven planets, a lot of second and third house action (venus in my third house), if I had been super into astrology a few years ago I might have surmised… Read more »

ÁNLEIFR
ÁNLEIFR

I can’t help the poster, I am in the same situation. I never ever meet anyone, my luck is such that I can go somewhere on a Saturday night and for whatever reason that night there is no one there! I mean yes there are people but no available single people for me. Same thing with work, outings, grocery store anywhere. Then when there is that one person, I can’t muster the ability to just randomly walk up to them and ask them on a date lol. The dating apps suc big time! Been there done that, complete energy (and… Read more »

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

Sigh, girl I hear you. I am a 5th house Saturn, opposite Venus and Neptune, and a completely empty 7th house except for asteroid Karma. Twice divorced, single mom to two children, have a horrible track record picking good/decent men to settle down with. Staunchly single now for the last 3+ years and though it would be nice to find someone on my wavelength to commune with, I have a whole lot of NO for patriarchal bullshit and low-vibe crap like alcohol abuse (seriously, is no one aware or caring about how much alcohol they drink these days?) or lack… Read more »

ÁNLEIFR
ÁNLEIFR

I am beginning to think the whole concept of marriage is bullsht to be honest. Look at how many people get married but end up divorced, myself included. Why do we “have” to get married at all?

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

Agreed. Plus it is so much easier to get married and super hard and agonizing (and expensive!) to get divorced, especially with kids involved (and worse if one of the parties is destructive/narcissistic/sociopathic). I think it should be the other way around, make it difficult to get married and have prenups required, though I do recognize that sometimes you don’t know what you’re getting into until it’s too late. I also don’t see divorce as a failure. I see it as people standing up for themselves and leaving situations that no longer work for them. It’s a healthy choice. I… Read more »

jjt4732
jjt4732

This is where I’m at too. Felt a connection to a married man, which is very unfortunate. The only available guys are range from kind of to very seriously messed up. Guess I’ll just keep kicking ass at my career…

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

Right, not many quality available men to choose from, if any really. And the married guys who are wandering makes me wonder what the point of marriage is at all if none of these guys are satisfied enough to just stay put, plus the utter cluelessness (or maybe just exasperation) of the wives involved, too. Either way there’s an imbalance there that isn’t working. Marriage can be pretty awesome until children come along, unfortunately. Love them, can’t live without them now, but the construct of a marriage being romantic- and couple-in-love-focused gets totally blown apart when you have the 24/7… Read more »

BoldLioness
BoldLioness

You read my mind! I’m 53 years old Leo sun, Libra rising and Capricorn moon; I’m perpetually single. I have an empty nest of my 27 year old son and I’m thriving thrillingly in my birth doula business! Divorce hadn’t dissuade me from relationships or marriage. I WILL have a good adult love/relationship with a wonderful man in this lifetime.

Aquasunrise
Aquasunrise

I am a saturn 7th/8th cusp person too. (Just on edge of the former, and the house of change/ death /sex /legacies My experience is that I endure partnerships with stamina, seriousness & sturdy determination. I have built up much from solidity with “partners”, but have a challenge in letting them go. So, from this I get that marriage/ general partners can be worked at yet can yield long term benefit or a burden. We can choose from our conscious awareness – you’d be examining what aspects were in play, natal, progresses etc. Lastly Saturn themes can influence tye type… Read more »

ÁNLEIFR
ÁNLEIFR

I have Saturn in my 8th as well as Venus in Scorpio. It can be tough dealing with one constantly pulling me one way and then the other pulling me their direction, all day everyday.

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

I have Saturn in Taurus (5th ) opposite Venus in Scorpio (11th) so I have to work at keeping that balance between the two as well. I have so much Scorpio/Pluto power (strongest planet in my chart overall) though that the Pluto energy usually wins. It is nice to have Saturn there as a ballast though. I appreciate the opposition more than I resent it.

Aquasunrise
Aquasunrise

I guess I have a Capricorn stellium in my 5th, which can be controlling and ruthless too. I feel that I am making compromises but have to admit I am status conscious even if I prefer to be unconventional in a choice of partner. You speak of a realism – so not to be so swept away by romance, but I wondered if Neptune in Pisces trine Scorpio Jupiter (emotional truths) is really amplifying people’s desires… It’s beyond the scenario of women who are tired, lonely and dispirited – its the lack of community, relentless pressure to acquire and succeed,… Read more »

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus

Virgo energy is about discrimination and the analytical process of discernment. In the 5th House, you’re going to be picky about love affairs and that’s OK. Saturn in the 7th also says to take your time about partnering and implement careful quality control standards. In order to get what you want in life, you have to be willing to say “no” to what you *don’t* want. Never settle in any respect; demand more from life and you’ll get more. You can’t possibly get what you want if you’re stooping down to meet others at their level rather than asking that… Read more »

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

This has really helped me understand my 7th house Saturn-sun conjunction, thank you

Pi
Pi

Smoke a joint, date a pisces for a while

Pi
Pi

Why would you lock in a guy who you’re only half excited about? You’re only 29. On this dating app I was using , every other guy was an “entrepreneur” or a “management Consultant”. I had to delete the app, it was giving me nausea and an acute case of ennui. (I have mars in aqua, and eros in Sadge, you understand.) But maybe there’s a market for those types. What do you want? Go hang out where manly types who want kids and an expressionist wyf/partner also hang out. I don’t know where that is. maybe other ppls weddings… Read more »

Pi
Pi

Not just an appreciative audience. A performative way of life. Maybe the dramatic possibilities of a life of service to the spiritual offer some interesting options after all. And you never know what the future holds.

TripleL
TripleL

Lmao … I 2nd these.

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

Lol – and if you date a Pisces for a while you’ll probably smoke several more joints. And then wonder what the hell just happened. 😉

Pi
Pi

we’re like an unexpectedly awesome weekend getaway 😀

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

<3

emg
emg

Hang on. If you date a Pisces a joint is never required. It’s totally off the planet, out of your skull all the time ! You make me laugh Pi

pi
pi

It’s easier to judge a pisces harshly than it is to judge a spliff, but a spliff won’t have a cool conversation with you or roam beside you in pretty parks and stuff. I think weed can have a beneficial impact of tuning out the chatter for some nice clarity from a mildly altered perspective. When the acutely cerebral Virgo energy starts overclocking it can be a little draining, particularly when the situation in question might not really need that much applied effort all at once. So my intention was to … well you know.

Pi
Pi

Wait, is this the part where I check myself and say “don’t inhale, kids”

Pegasus
Pegasus

Agree. Add read David Dieda and Margot Anand.
Then a breath & energy orgasm 🙂

Pegasus
Pegasus

That reply was for PI’s original comment waay above.

Pi
Pi

refreshing 🙂

Pi
Pi

🙂 hehe

It’s all about rearranging one’s perspective 😉

Sweet Sanity
Sweet Sanity

I think if there’s a spark with the Taurus guy, let it burn and see how it goes? His car insta isn’t the worst thing ever, if he shows interest in you’re life and you have fun that’s really great!

I’m currently thinking I’m ight be a few years off any kind of closeness myself… I’m currently experiencing Chiron square Venus, end of April 2018 until beginning of February 2020

So far it has been one massive heartbreak and it’s only 2 months in. If anyone has any advice I’m all ears.

Pi
Pi

Buddhist meditations.

Sweet Sanity
Sweet Sanity

Nun life for me too then lol

Pi
Pi

Quite the opposite I reckon. Buddhism + meditations are awesome for life management. They’re very gentle on hurting hearts. Xxoo

Sweet Sanity
Sweet Sanity

Oh! Thank you Pi 🙂

Alouetta
Alouetta

My first thought was ‘is it a hot car?’, and the second, ‘mmm, fireman’. But really, I’m seconding emg. Life is short. Grab that Taurus by the short and curlies and ride him for all he’s got. You don’t have to be long-term about it, or invest. It’s not a competition between Mr Right and Mr Right-now. I firmly believe you can have both, or find that guy who stands awkwardly in the middle. And if you don’t find your perfect partner this year or the next it won’t be because you were closed off to opportunities. The fact that… Read more »

Alouetta
Alouetta

My point being: there’s many things that sit beyond the binary of being single or being life-partnered. And there’s fun to be had!

isa
isa

agree. being virgo overload myself I know how hard it is not to be picky, but try not to overthink it please. remember, virgo is earth: get out of your head, do things, don’t just think that you’ll do them. there’s not much to lose except spending some time not alone. of course you don’t have to force yourself, but try to see it this way: what if it the future is even more barren from this point of view? carpe diem! taurus seems at least half-decent, so enjoy him now that he’s there. with all due respect, imho one… Read more »

Sweet Sanity
Sweet Sanity

Yes I agree! Sometimes you just have to get the ball rolling.

Pegasus
Pegasus

Lot to be said for ‘practising’ before True Love arrives (or not).

emg
emg

I love this. Full 5th house = grab life by the short and curlies ! Hahaha. Perfect. Can’t think of anything more fun. But then I’m sun jupiter in 5 ! Woo hoo

Calli G
Calli G

I started reading this wondering if there was an astrological chart that indicated singleness, and I came out of it wondering how one becomes a shamanic priestess. Because that sounds way more interesting than a romantic relationship. Still, I see no reason you can’t have both. As far as an Instagram for the Taurus’ car goes, eh whatever. It’s a better hobby than riding a bar stool and coming home buzzed every night. But if you’re not also into sharing the joys of personal transportation with the internet, perhaps finding someone with interests you could share would be a good… Read more »

Feathered Fish
Feathered Fish

My only thoughts are that you sound so grounded and aware, slipping into a not ideal relationship would be beneath you. I know it is easy to justify a dalliance – just enjoying the sex, it’s some company, not serious, just something to pass the time – but by the sound of it, you want the full shebang. You want a father for your future children, you want someone to grow old with, if you are distracted by fairy lights you might miss him! Don’t settle!

chronicgir1
chronicgir1

What a lovely reply!

emg
emg

There are definitely humans who can do single really well and the 5th house is about personal expression and fun in yourself. Also with Uranus in the 7th I would suggest this would mean cycles of relationship rather than total settle in for the long haul. As to a guy who has an Insta account for his car,.. why does every one get so sniffy with blokes sometimes? He’s obviously expressing himself with something he enjoys, opening up his fun 5th house. I am always into acceptance of the person I am dating, be it for a couple of hours… Read more »

chronicgir1
chronicgir1

What a lovely reply!

Pi
Pi

agree, tbh an ig for his car would actually count as a plus, in my books.

Laurel
Laurel

I was single for over a decade. Eligible men starting showing up when I was like “not now! I’m busy!”. It took me too long to get there tho – to find travel and languages and art and culture and courses and … well other things that were more important than pairing up. Once I did, it never stopped raining men. I have Virgo/5th house and we are nothing if not practical/discerning when it comes to romance. He can instagram his car if it’s witty and self deprecatory. If he’s showing off, move on. BTW Virgo 5th house? health professionals… Read more »

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

You sound amazing! And far too young and self-actualised to be sentencing yourself to be ‘destined to be’ anything that limits you. That said, as a 7th house sun-Saturn conj, with Neptune in a t-square with Venus and Jupiter, and Venus on the Dsc I do understand difficult relationship issues, lol. Sounds like you’ve come a long way from loving someone ‘insane’ to looking hard at long-haul qualities such as values, maturity, career trajectory etc. With Neptune opp your Virgo stuff you may be seeing this Toro in an ideal way and noticing his potential. If your gut feeling is… Read more »

dark star
dark star

Sounds to me like you’d be a fantastic partner, just ditch the tauroloser and the universe will throw someone your way

Virgonator
Virgonator

Eh, I have my life together-ish. I’m smart, for what that’s worth (less than I used to think, but still something), and I work hard at my service projects in this world (work, parenting, my spiritual path). AND I’m fussy and neurotic, critical, anxious. Aries Moon: impatient, a little immature, competitive beyond reason or measure. Neither ugly nor especially pretty. So not exactly most people’s perfect catch of anything.

Virgonator
Virgonator

But at least I’m aware of my flaws? And they’re all improving.

dark star
dark star

But people don’t want a perfect catch! They want someone magnetic, and that realness only comes from accepting oneself. A bestie of mine has an Aries moon and I love it, despite having to be rushed around erratically :p

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

ooh this IS interesting.

I wasn’t aware being a shamanic priestess or whatever was so draining/hard work, but I guess that makes sense?

I say keep an open mind and am inclined to agree that “destined to be single” is not a thing.

Virgonator
Virgonator

Yeah, our ceremonies are 5-14 hours, fasting and dancing and singing in another language. Plus I come beforehand to set up and greet guests and stay after to help clean up and check in with guests. Spend a lot of time studying the songs, and working in solo meditation with my guides. Even more time checking in with the community trying to work through whatever interpersonal stuff is coming up, which of course it does quite often. I adore it, but it’s not like low stakes relaxing leisure activity. At least for me.

Seashine
Seashine

Mrs Saturn here too

virgo rising
virgo rising

Why do we have the tendency to focus on what we don’t have instead of enjoying and appreciatinig what we do. It sounds to me like you have a full plate and your idea of relationshp sounds very idealistic…but whatever any relationship gives you, it also makes demands of you; compromises of your time, energy, power. Virgo is the sign of she who is whole in herself. I am a virgo rising…and have never felt more empowered since being on my own for many years now. Not answerable to anyone else. Not awaiting anyone’s approval or otherwise, acceptance or otherwise.… Read more »

ÁNLEIFR
ÁNLEIFR

Sometimes we can’t control the urges/obsessions/craving of longing for a partner no matter how hard we try to stop it. I am trying to learn to control it, I am a Venus in Scorpio so something as little as a smile and eye contact can all of a sudden induce intense feeling, emotion and sparks that take control of my whole being, researching, cyber stalking finding out everything about them, obsessing whether or not not they like me. It suxs BIG TIME and I don’t want a serious relationship just companionship but when VIS takes hold it is hold to… Read more »

Virgonator
Virgonator

Yes, I always need more patience. And I hope my message conveyed my sincere appreciation of and gratitude for my life. I’m kind of a walking soblessed hashtag, really. And at the same time, this deep longing for more kids just keeps welling up in me. I’m sure my life will be deep and fulfilling whether I get to have more or not, but I don’t (yet) know how not to want them.

Gemyogi
Gemyogi

Beautiful response, thank you Virgo Rising

Gemyogi
Gemyogi

Beautiful response, thank you Virgo Rising

Mystic Medusa
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