This might sound like a silly question but I have been seriously wondering it for some time. It’s the type of thing where people have knee-jerk answers that I don’t necessarily trust. So I’m asking you.
Is it just better, astrologically speaking, for some of us to be single? I am a multiple Virgo and it is all in the 5th House. I really like creatively expressing myself through my relationship and a romantic partner is the perfect audience. Plus I can morph from a me into a we, optimise my habits and interests to theirs (at the time, it never feels like a huge sacrifice to lose myself in the process). And have babies! I only have one, but I definitely want more. It is a surprise and puzzle (and often feels like a tragedy) to me how I haven’t been able to manifest more in the last five years since I had my first. Though I get that having one amazing kid and being young and presumably fertile enough to have more is not a reproductive tragedy, objectively speaking.
Saturn Return Ended My Marriage
Anyway. My Saturn (and Uranus) are in the 7th house. With my Saturn return I ended up getting kicked out of my marriage, house, and basically my whole idea of my life. Two days later, I was happier than ever, feeling like a HUGE weight was lifted, like I was FINALLY free, but from something I had very much wanted and chosen. Before Saturn Return, I didn’t think much beyond my partnership or close one-on-one friendships, though I’ve always had many acquaintances. Now I find myself better nourished in many ways by spiritual community than I ever was in partnerships. And our mystic path meets a lot of what I was getting out of sex. Honestly. A connection to something transcendent, being brought into my body…
But I do miss partnership, romance and sexuality with someone other than just myself. It’s been a year and a half with me on my own, and longer since my ex husband and I were really together in any functional way. Probably since 2013 (when I was madly in love with someone insane, but at least they loved me back). I often feel like all I do is parent and work and show up to my (arduous) spiritual path. Sometimes sleep. Walk in the forest. Rewarding, all of it, but where’s the fun? And at the same time, I do not want to step off my path, or back into the depths of horribleness of my last relationship. Maybe I’m just Saturn’s Bride in this life?
The One Romantic Possibility
Meanwhile, I tried to get on a dating app, because when you work with birthing women and your kid goes to a school where every other parent is still married, you aren’t going to run into available men in the course of everyday life. I have been texting and been on a few dates with a guy my age. He’s a Taurus, which is new for me. He is nice, interested in me and works around my schedule. But he’s also, for illl-defined reasons, only starting on his career path. Parties a lot. Lots of kind of childish ego (his car has its own Instagram). This is obviously not going anywhere serious (or maybe anywhere at all) and my guidance on it is basically “nah,” but I am so reluctant to give up the One Romantic Possibility in my life.
Is this just it? Saturn, service and meditating on the karmic importance of not always getting what you want? Or is there hope for a relationship (and kids) for me again in this lifetime? If my whole chart and life experience seems to be warning me away from my relationship vibe (which yes, I probably lean on too heavily), is there any way to still have it in my life or is it better to just go full nun? Especially when full nun means witchy shamanic goodness. Which is pretty cool.
Dear Saturn’s Bride,
This is a really interesting question. Working with labouring mothers is probably the least-likely job in which to encounter available men that there is out there. So yes to the dating app but no to Taurus. As you sound deep, thoughtful and super-grounded. You’re clearly keen on having more kids and I am sorry but seriously…his car? Plus you’re obviously not feeling it. Let’s take Taurus as being a handy omen-indicator for what you do and don’t want in a partner. Why not a fireman? Also a community worker and works weird shifts like you?
So it will be interesting to see what everyone else thinks but i think you’re on a roll with Saturn in Capricorn + Uranus in Taurus supporting your Earth Vibe. You’re also Saturn Return seasoned. And you seem to have a healthy appreciation for the advantages of a shamanic-single-Saturn’s Bride path along with an open-ness to a good relationship. Actually, i think it is time to unleash a strategy based around Virgo Dating Efficiency. That or (safely) set a small fruit basket on fire and call the fire brigade? Or put a cat up a tree that needs to be rescued? I am feeling the fireman thing for you.
Virgo Dating Efficiency
More broadly, there is no astrological “must be single” indicator in my opinion. People with loaded seventh houses seem to prefer to be partnered but sometimes they can be single but work in a solid creative collab, you know? There are legs of our life journey that are best traversed without a one on one partner and eras that thrive off that. We live in an age where we don’t have to mate for societal sufficiency. As Rebecca Traister points out in All The Single Ladies, we are also living in an unprecedented time in terms of advantages for single females. Relationships in general are in hyper-flux. In part, you are a dimension of that – one tiny facet at least. You don’t have to stay in an unfulfilling or dangerous relationship. Brilliantly, you can support yourself and your child. You can follow a creative/spiritual path and have it be enough. Or form other styles of fabulous relationship.
But astrologically, relationships are vehicles for growth and the big ones tend to come along with outer planet aspects to the Ascendant, Moon and Venus. I think you’re perfectly positioned to be either a very fetching bride of Saturn or to find a Mr Virgo! What does everyone else think?
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