Should You Stay Or Go Is The Hardest Phase

Astrology And Relationship Break-Ups

Astrology and break-ups are not automatically connected. It’s not like all – say – Librans decide to end relationships one week. But tumultuous times pressure fragile bonds. People are more aware of their raw, core selves and which of their aspirations are aligned with that. Projections dissipate at Warp Speed. You can’t maintain pretenses without damage. As societal ground shifts beneath us and we experience the daily w.t.f media flow, only the rock-solid relationships, friendships, and business alliances make it through. The others are reforming or disintegrating.

Some of the most poignant communiques here at Gorgon H.Q. are from people wanting “clarification” that the Tarot, Oracle, their Pluto transit, instincts, dreams, and Horoscopes are all incorrect. That their “complicated” or “strong despite it all” relationship can be saved.

This is not a Love Zombie situation. That’s when a person over-infuses a tonne of energy, erotic vibe, and soul into an attraction or projection that can’t hold it.  That’s a crush masquerading as a “kind of” relationship. I am talking about actual relationships with red flags, rather than rose petals, strewn everywhere. Romances where a creative mind has been subverted to explain and excuse crappy conduct.

The Devil card keeps showing in the Tarot. Dreams are nightmares of dirty swimming pools on abandoned resorts or gigantic waves that threaten to overwhelm fragility. Saturn or Pluto are applying hard. Friends shrug and change the subject when you bring up the latest plot twist in your long-running soap opera. Or stage doomed-to-fail interventions. One moment you’re out, that’s it. The next, something – a gesture, a ghost of familiarity, a surge of sentiment – means you’re back in.

The “Stay or Go?” Stage Is Worse Than The Actual Break-Up

But the stage where you are contemplating whether to Stay or Go is far worse than the actual break-up. There is an eerie phase where you are with someone but withdrawing your psychic energy from the relationship. You’re doing whatever alchemy has to happen for the “us” to become a “me” again. It’s depleting.

At the same time, there are practical concerns – maybe children to consider, animal companions, indeed joint accounts and passwords, a whole heap of stuff. Your psyche says, “flee to the mountains.” The accountant thinks it will take months to disentangle the shared $$$ scenarios.  Existential concerns spike between 1 am, and 5 am, the time in Traditional Chinese Medicine when anger or grief are processed. What if this is your best shot? Does stepping out of the relationship means you’re failing at society-life? Could this mean you become a desert crone, prowling around the outskirts of town grazing on gorse and nettle, communing only with sky and spirit? Or an out-of-control lush, a Mickey Rourke character trapped in a David Lynch dystopia?

A Subliminal Script Stars Running, Spouting Patriarchal Shit

When you contemplate initiating a break-up – especially of something long-standing and woven into a vestige of tribe or community –  a subliminal script starts running, spouting patriarchal shit and spewing out random bits of code that don’t make sense. This is often when you turn to Jupiter or Neptune for a good time.  Jupiter Vibe says the Path of Excess (shopping, boozing, heaps of holidays) really can lead to the Palace of Wisdom. Neptune Vibe can inspire a segue to pure fantasy; A Rescue Romance perhaps. Or the sudden winning of an astronomical amount of money that enables you to move into a secret pad somewhere by the sea. From there, you would use your wealth to hire people – therapists, goons, lawyers – to do everything else. It would be a clean break.

But most break-ups are dirty. Feelings and theories repressed for the sake of civilized coupling get weaponized. Forensic accounting uncovers flimsy constructs. The reclaiming of your personal psychic space is not the joyous exercise in authentication that it would be if you were stronger, cashed up and rested.

But the hardest bit is the not-knowing. Once you click out of denial and into transition mode, you can deploy your Saturn energies: patience, strong friendships, wisdom, and planning genius. And then, as you free up all the energy trapped in lying to yourself or trying to prop up a fake facade, you rebirth. Always.

Thoughts?

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Ruby
MM Member
Ruby
February 12, 2020 7:01 am

Having been through this scenario a few years ago, as always Mystic, your summing up is perfect. Beautifully put! It bought a lump to my throat, such wise words and so on the mark.
Thankyou marvellous Mystic.

Ash
Ash
July 16, 2019 3:02 pm

On the eve of an eclipse, I go to a Counsellor to seek help.

Shazberry
MM Member
Shazberry
July 14, 2019 8:51 am

Up until Feb 2019, This was my last 3 years…. I went deep. I wept I cried while driving the car, feeding the animals, doing the groceries, at stupid advertisements. The longing to extricate myself from such a loveless marriage, haunted my every moment. Dreams swirling with thunderous clouds and tidal waves of massive fear. Every time I’d do my tarot, the Devil would be grimacing back. Meanwhile, my intuition was pinging off of something that kept telling me to keep going. Face the fear. Up your self confidence. Mixed in between, was lots of champagne drinking whilst cooking dinner,… Read more »

redondo.bleach
MM Member
redondo.bleach
July 14, 2019 5:19 am

What’s the antidote???

rachel cap scorp
rachel cap scorp
July 14, 2019 12:10 am

This post is all about how I’m doing my 2019. It’s kind of a relief to see it written by someone else. Makes me feel less crazy.

Louie
MM Member
Louie
October 3, 2018 10:19 am

Oh this is all of me. Distracting myself with clothes, nice lingerie and intrspection and an affair to avoid dealing with the relationship I wish I didn’t have..

Louie
MM Member
Louie
October 3, 2018 10:41 am
Reply to  Louie

And if I break up with husband I have realised I have to break up with the affair.. So stay or go for me is two relationships.. Both inadequate

Gemricorn
MM Member
Gemricorn
April 21, 2018 12:40 pm

Wow…. TOTALLY DOING THIS RIGHT NOW.

Saturn on the ascendant. It’s all still shifting but energetically I have been through that eerie phase and then yes. 100% – decisive action is SO much easier than the inbetween/upside down

queenofthejungle
queenofthejungle
April 20, 2018 1:15 am

Haha…I’d say that this image is good for about 98% of tarot readings!

Neptunia
Neptunia
April 19, 2018 9:53 pm

Oh Mystic you have outdone yourself (again).

Bookmarking this post for all my friends in future break-ups.

The image is just too hilariously perfect 🙂 The words, well, in a league of their own.

Thank you for this pure haute magic astrology blog. I can not imagine life without the wisdom, humour, deep spiritual insights and fun of the Daily Mystic emails, horoscopes and this! …This genius eloquent writing.

Wishing healing to anyone going through break-ups.

The desert drone gig comes HIGHLY RECOMMENDED by the way. Freedom xx

inner_circle8
inner_circle8
April 18, 2018 2:11 pm

I’m sad I’m breaking up with my old self and the things she likes (guy types and false safety zones). The external ppl are feeling it and freaking out.

I don’t want to go but I can’t stay either.

Aquasunrise
Aquasunrise
April 20, 2018 5:34 pm
Reply to  inner_circle8

I think this is admirable, and really probably a necessary ongoing cycle flor many of us

Damons
Damons
April 18, 2018 2:00 pm

Does anyone besides me notice that dating sites are overpopulated with Scorpio and Taurean ladies?

More Scorpios by a mile.

Damons

Jokerman
Jokerman
April 18, 2018 4:56 pm
Reply to  Damons

I see Virgo and Cap. But then again my Venus is Virgo and my Dsc is Cap.

Damons
Damons
April 18, 2018 9:09 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

I have noticed quite a few Virgos, too; my rising sign. Maybe it’s Scorpios I’m attracted to? My ex was one. The single Scorpio ladies seem to be 5’2 and blonde.

Sam
Sam
April 19, 2018 12:20 pm
Reply to  Damons

Fwiw not many men note their sign on the dating sites I’ve seen. I don’t reveal I am a fish, either, for that matter.. Those who do seem to be (from memory) virgo and cancerian. Sometimes aquas. I think it’s possible to read between the lines sometimes and narrow down the possibilities tho.

Eclipse Tripper
MM Member
Eclipse Tripper
April 18, 2018 11:11 am

LOL and love the genius tarot image. It is really NICE, CLEAR and EASY to read and GET this blog, when you are NOT in a love zombie/dysfunctional scenario and really been there done with that for life methinks. But, oh so difficult to grasp when your heart strings are being played and you can’t see your dysfunctional/co-dependant parts resonating into the vortex. I am reading it and thinking of a friend who needs to read it. Am I in trouble by almost relishing the idea of being “a desert crone, prowling around the outskirts of town grazing on gorse… Read more »

Sam
Sam
April 19, 2018 7:01 pm

I reckon desert crone is a tops job description tbh. Saw it and thought, not a bad option actually. Keep it in the back pocket. Far more interesting than bumping into the same walls of the same streets filled with the same litter, ad infinitum.

Meg
Meg
April 18, 2018 10:55 am

Mystic- your words are amazing. Thank you for your incredible clarity and ability to express some of the weirdest and hardest experiences a human can have. I love and relate to every single thing you said in this post. Fantastic stuff. It’s why I subscribe 🙂

Aquasunrise
Aquasunrise
April 18, 2018 9:31 am

Lol, “witch” one do I dump?

Alouetta
Alouetta
April 18, 2018 8:21 am

I kind of have to talk about the flipside of this. I’ve become enamoured with Terrace House – a Japanese reality TV show that throws horny young folk together and watches the awkwardness unfold. Anyway there was a young newly formed and struggling couple on the verge of breaking up and everyone around them supported them to talk and be honest about what they wanted and they found a way to grow from it as a couple and as individuals. It really moved me. Through my breakup all of my support was subtly or not so subtly encouraging break up… Read more »

Sam
Sam
April 18, 2018 9:24 am
Reply to  Alouetta

Another way. Yes. X

Alouetta
Alouetta
April 18, 2018 6:16 pm
Reply to  Mystic

Yeah I get that. And it’s a fine line, especially if you’re on the outside. The safest option is to urge breakup because you don’t want your friends to be trapped in an potentially abusive relationship. But I think it can also reinforce cyclical patterns of fall in love, struggle, break up and repeat.

Triple Air Gem
MM Member
Triple Air Gem
April 25, 2018 11:50 pm
Reply to  Alouetta

These two comments are
basically my parents lives and then my life in response. So spot on

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus
April 18, 2018 11:30 pm
Reply to  Alouetta

Personally, I think that’s something entirely dependent on context – it’s a very different story when there’s issues of severely broken trust vs. the usual simple communication issues or run-of-the-mill personality conflicts that young or newly-formed couples typically navigate until they adjust to one another and learn to better accommodate each other (if they mutually value the relationship, that is). I will say that if I’m ever in a bad scenario that I need to leave, my friends damn well better be telling me to go and actively helping me to pack my bags or else they’re not really my… Read more »

Alouetta
Alouetta
April 20, 2018 6:51 pm

It’s not that I needed more community support per se (though it may have helped), but that I wish the people that I know didn’t automatically jump to ‘dump him find someone else’ response – and it’s not just directed at me, but at other struggling non-abusive relationships in my circles. They aren’t all guilty of it, but it’s a definite theme. Tbh I don’t know if what I described exists anymore except on reality tv and maybe in small communities that understand how to foster social harmony. But it does make me a little disappointed that we should only… Read more »

Sam
Sam
April 26, 2018 2:18 am
Reply to  Alouetta

your last two sentences. YES. thank you for expressing this. it has taken me +decades+ to learn that open hearted listening is not exactly a huge demand, and is in fact a good thing, something that builds trust, connection, a community, allows vulnerability, and a sense of safety that is necessarily mutual, *patience*, and most importantly takes down the notion that someone is ‘better’ or ‘more superior’ than someone else because ‘they don’t have any problems [right now]’. mind you, when your only family is uranian, the cold detachment of paid help is comparatively like coming into a warm house… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman
April 18, 2018 7:42 am

I might dump myself. Nuthing else to dump…except some friends off at the pool.

msrod1029
MM Member
msrod1029
April 18, 2018 12:50 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

You make me smile!

dandelion66
dandelion66
April 18, 2018 6:56 am

Question? Do you slink out quietly or try to explain

flowerchild
flowerchild
April 18, 2018 5:39 am

I’ve just decided to break up with my new guy (of a couple months) today. I’m feeling angry about the situation and very sad. I need support but don’t have any around here. Feeling very lonely…. 🙁 Any good wishes from you all would be greatly appreciated… I just don’t have the patience for certain things and just can’t put up with what I used to, I know where that gets me to later on down the road… I guess this is a good thing, but it hurts so much right now because I haven’t even attempted a relationship in… Read more »

sunsagscorpasc
MM Member
sunsagscorpasc
April 18, 2018 5:53 am
Reply to  flowerchild

Hugs.

Libra9
MM Member
Libra9
April 18, 2018 7:57 am
Reply to  flowerchild

Hugs

Shoshannah
MM Member
Shoshannah
April 18, 2018 8:56 am
Reply to  flowerchild

Oh no, flowerchild, that sucks. It’s good that you are making the decision based on all of that hard won wisdom, and self-awareness, but yeah, I get that the hurting comes regardless. I so admire the spirit that comes through in your posts.
Keep on x

Aquasunrise
Aquasunrise
April 18, 2018 9:26 am
Reply to  flowerchild

Yes, compassion to you. So sorry you endure pain…best wishes!

South
MM Member
South
April 18, 2018 10:41 am
Reply to  flowerchild

Flowerchild I am sorry I know how you feel I had been protective of my heart for 20 years Met an amazing guy BUT had to break my own heart when he became violent Hoping and praying that he will get help as I still can’t shake the soul connection between us no matter how hard I try… Being alone again after being loved is absolutely awful I try to console myself with the fact I was brave enough to try and put my heart on the line… Unfortunately he wasn’t worthy or deserving of me! Sending you love and… Read more »

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
April 18, 2018 3:28 pm
Reply to  South

That is truly awful, Gwendolyn, after putting your heart out there.

But it is incredible to know you saw your self worth, and valued your own heart xx

flowerchild
flowerchild
April 18, 2018 4:52 pm
Reply to  South

Oh my gosh, Gwendolyn, that is so scary and awful, but I’m glad you had the strength and the self-worth enough to walk away as soon as he became violent, as this is a dynamic that can become a dysfunctional cyclical thing in some relationships and the person being abused can get stuck in that ‘should I stay or go’ impasse, like MM described. I was in a physically abusive relationship in my 20’s and I stayed in it far too long when I should have left immediately after the first sign of harm. I didn’t have enough self-worth at… Read more »

Alouetta
Alouetta
April 18, 2018 6:34 pm
Reply to  South

Ah that last line hit home.

So Mutable It Hurts
MM Member
So Mutable It Hurts
April 18, 2018 12:05 pm
Reply to  flowerchild

You’re doing great xoxo

msrod1029
MM Member
msrod1029
April 18, 2018 12:44 pm
Reply to  flowerchild

❤️❤️you’ve got this!!

Saggi Crab
MM Member
Saggi Crab
April 18, 2018 1:10 pm
Reply to  flowerchild

Big hugs, flowerchild. I can understand the disappointment you must feel that the initial promise of the relationship hasn’t unfolded like you hoped it would. That’s always rough. But what strength you have in recognising it early for what it is and backing yourself, rather than bending yourself to try and make it work. xx

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
April 18, 2018 3:35 pm
Reply to  flowerchild

Sending lots of love, Flowerchild. Even when there is support around, heartbreak hurts. I’m sure it felt special because it was then and there, even if it just is not anymore. Don’t be too hard on yourself, if you can: you had incredible heart courage, and you still do.

xx

flowerchild
flowerchild
April 18, 2018 5:03 pm
Reply to  flowerchild

Thanks so much, everyone, for your love and care and perspective! 🙂 I just need to get through this transitional healing period and I will be ok. It probably wasn’t a good time period for ‘risking love’ for me, but you never know when it’s going to come along, it’s probably rarely good timing, right? I think perhaps with the current astro MM described in this post and where I’m at in my life, just post Chiron return, I am less apt right now to dither about, whereas I was always the ‘should I stay or go’ person most of… Read more »

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 18, 2018 6:30 pm
Reply to  flowerchild

Hey, it’s a bit slow to begin but i started liking it at about 1:20ish. It just rocked up in something else i was listening to. Hate it if you want to 🙂

http://soundcloud.com/brassland/clogs-the-sundown-song

flowerchild
flowerchild
April 19, 2018 3:30 am
Reply to  milleunanotte

Thanks! Very pretty and unique song… thanks for the musical accompaniment today! Music is the best medicine for emotional angst.. 🙂

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 18, 2018 6:32 pm
Reply to  flowerchild

And, nah, “rarely good timing”? It always exacerbates and shits up the workings you thought you had going, all practicals, and all home energies for the practicals. It’s just that kind of necessary thing, i guess, love xx

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 18, 2018 6:49 pm
Reply to  flowerchild

And when you have enough of grieving:

You could fall in love with silence –
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6wuNRm-8h8

dizzarina
dizzarina
April 19, 2018 8:16 am
Reply to  flowerchild

I’m so sorry, Flowerchild. Hugs to you.

A'NLEIFR
A'NLEIFR
April 18, 2018 5:33 am

I guess it is a good thing I am single then! 🙂

Libra Moon Conjunct Pluto
MM Member
Libra Moon Conjunct Pluto
April 18, 2018 1:06 am

I’d say this applies to other areas of my life, especially my career! Although I’ve done great work for my employer, my relationship with them has had an undercurrent of strife. I have a feeling that everything, good and bad, is about to surface. On one hand, my accomplishments do merit a promotion, which I’ve been encouraged to apply for one. On the other hand, I’ve endured a lot of fighting on this job (everything from colleagues who try to usurp me to not getting support I need to simply do my job). I’ve been a “good sport” on the… Read more »

HeatherEmm
MM Member
HeatherEmm
April 18, 2018 12:49 am

Thanks for this ❤️

Calidor
MM Member
Calidor
April 18, 2018 12:26 am

PS I see Gorgon HQ as being a large sun-lit room with wide window sills containing lots of curled up sleepy cats (our familiars). Our rescue horses are grazing in a large field outside. I see my idea of Mystic wearing camouflage and holding a large Staff. She is Queen of Wands. We have live sphinxes and Temple Cats (from Kym Falconer’s sci-fi books) guarding the perimeter.

Calidor
MM Member
Calidor
April 18, 2018 12:31 am
Reply to  Calidor

Sometimes spontaneous bursts of rainbow coloured energy zooms out of Gorgon HQ and pulverises people who have been cruel to animals. My attitude is a bit low Scorp re this.

Rita
Rita
April 19, 2018 12:33 pm
Reply to  Calidor

Pulverizing people who were cruel to animals is a imagine that restored harmony in my day. Thank you.

Rita
Rita
April 19, 2018 12:34 pm
Reply to  Rita

*image

Triple Air Gem
MM Member
Triple Air Gem
April 25, 2018 11:55 pm
Reply to  Rita

I kinda like imagine, too. I think it works 🙂

april
MM Member
april
April 17, 2018 11:52 pm

This is so beautiful, and rings so true. Thank you, Mystic.

Chrysalis
MM Member
Chrysalis
April 17, 2018 11:06 pm

Insightful and compassionate description of how the stay or go phase is worse than the actual breaking up. Especially the patriarchal BS that starts up the minute one begins to question whether or not this partnership is worth the investment of time and energy and compromises of core values that seem necessary for its viability.

MissDee
MM Member
MissDee
April 17, 2018 10:44 pm

You just described the exact process of my divorce back to when Uranus moved to Aries and Chiron entered Pisces. Boy had I known all this it would have speared me a lot of pain.
It’s so detailed I kinda relieved it while reading it.

My greatest hope (and plan) is that after the past very lonely and hard 7 years, this new era will be a lot more about establishing (reciprocally) nurturing and healthy relationship (Taurus) while maintaining a sacred SELF core (Chiron in Aries).

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon
April 18, 2018 12:08 am
Reply to  MissDee

I got divorced during this period too – late 2012 early 2013… devastating but completely necessary. I feel for you – I’ve been in the same boat!

Laura
Laura
April 17, 2018 10:43 pm

I’m not in a romantic relationship at the moment, but I do feel like I’m breaking up with my former life. Chiron return incoming and my Chiron is conjunct my IC and opposite my Pluto/Sun. Glad for the Aries fire vibe now though. At least I can use that to burn the pyre of bullshit that gathered from its trek through Pisces. We don’t need no water let the motherfuqer burn…

MissDee
MM Member
MissDee
April 17, 2018 10:38 pm
Reply to  Mystic

Patriarchal system is bad for women as well as men. Don’t they know it?

Leo on the Rise
MM Member
Leo on the Rise
April 17, 2018 9:57 pm

O god love this Mystic – it resonates so hard that I started to shake….

emg
MM Member
emg
April 17, 2018 9:22 pm

You’ll have found me wide awake at 1-5am for the past six or seven years. And totally unable to regain sleep until the clock ticks past the 5am mark. I had to reason with myself that this was just as it had to be or I would have gone stark staring mad. Since sleeping with the Aqua it got worse but now as I am about to shift life again it is improving. It is still the time I am inclined to wake but maybe just once or twice per week these days. Break ups…. I am getting better at… Read more »

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 17, 2018 10:49 pm
Reply to  emg

I just read a few hours ago (chasing a health issue) that those exact 1 – 5am in Chinese system are the hours we process pain or grief. You might already know this..? But it will definitely resonate with you. Strange you say a ghost in the house: i moved into a highly haunted beautiful one with a boyfriend once, after we lived in a few spaces. Fell asleep by accident after a huge party we threw, in the worst part of the house, where audient jams used to completely throw me, quite vicious right in my ear. I dreamt… Read more »

emg
MM Member
emg
April 18, 2018 2:37 am
Reply to  milleunanotte

That’s a tale. You are obviously so in tune ! And was it the boyfriend opening you up to this stuff ? Have a glorious friend who had a short relationship with a Scorpio and had to leave as he simply threw her into clairaudience, vivid lucid dreams and eczeama ! She says it was the deepest darkest places, still doesn’t know if it was her psyche or his energy or a portal but as soon as she left it all stopped. And thank you. I am grounded and going through the motions in my mind but as you say… Read more »

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
April 18, 2018 9:23 am
Reply to  emg

Haha, no, it wasn’t him. Born This Way.

But when i’m with someone i channel through into them too, both ways. Can be amazing, can be awfully wearing.

Yes, i think you’re grounded. The leaving tends to happen deeply under surface, but when it does surface, you see and feel it so clearly, there it just is. Good luck and goddess-speed xx

Pi
Pi
April 17, 2018 7:56 pm

I’ve been remembering how much breakups and or unrequited love can suck so damn much. Much sympathy and pats to anyone going through this. Even an unexpected entanglement lately got me all zapped, but I also get a bit better at letting the frizzling anxiety goooooooooo gently into that good night (with some help from a sadge advisor).. wow. It really occupies the old neurons. I realised several years ago that due to certain circumstances I didn’t have the cognitive capacity for an intimate relationship but wow you still want ’em.. I’m climbing out of that pond now slowly, but… Read more »

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 17, 2018 10:54 pm
Reply to  Pi

Most people mean what they say. In the moment. I sense the moment changes but get frustrated when the other person doesn’t recognise what is clear to me in themselves. They cling, then, somewhat, in a way that makes it seem more desperately holding on to something they don’t want to lose. But it’s something they already lost. (Married a Leo Moon. Know also the Libra non-Sun-inner planets and Venus Risings too, er, biblically.)

dizzarina
dizzarina
April 18, 2018 9:34 am
Reply to  Pi

My beloved has a Leo moon. They do love unabashedly and are demonstrative.

I would say, not necessarily and EQUAL amount of demonstrativeness, but subtler indications of regard are just fine for them. They really just want to know that you know that they are Wonderful.

I’ve known other Leo moon males, and this applies to all. They are really lovely, uncomplicated people. They have a certain innocent confidence that is quite endearing– especially to an Aries like me. 🙂

Pi
Pi
April 17, 2018 7:52 pm

I’ve been remembering how much breakups and or unrequited love can suck so damn much. Even an unexpected entanglement lately got me all zapped, but I also got better at letting the frizzling anxiety goooooooooo gently into that good night (with some help from a sadge advisor).. wow. It really occupies the old neurons. I realised several years ago that due to certain circumstances I didn’t have the cognitive capacity for an intimate relationship but wow you still want ’em.. I’m climbing out of that pond now slowly, but it’s taken a while. That reminds me. Leo moon guys. suuuuper… Read more »

Pi
Pi
April 17, 2018 7:58 pm
Reply to  Pi

Oops double post?!

Ariel
MM Member
Ariel
April 17, 2018 9:00 pm
Reply to  Pi

Umm the only Leo moon I was involved with a narcissist. Love bombing followed by cheating & complete withdrawal of affection. But he also had a 12th house Venus opposite Saturn & Pluto & other gnarly things (Sun/ Mercury sq Neptune = great poet, heartless liar).

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 17, 2018 11:50 pm
Reply to  Pi

Soz, lovely, response above, if it helps.

Ariel
MM Member
Ariel
April 17, 2018 7:45 pm

So, just got cheated on in an open long-distance relationship. I am the process of relocating from Europe to Oz & this dude was a major factor in my decision. It was supposed to be the relationship that healed me from my past trauma of being cheated on & emotionally abused. This guy cheated on me for a month – I say cheated on because he didn’t take the initiative to contact me & indeed avoided engaging with my messages & calls when I was attempting to break up with him (the communication was so bad). Right now I am… Read more »

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 18, 2018 12:05 am
Reply to  Ariel

God so sorry you are feeling in need of good clear support and can’t put the money in yet. In open or monogamous relationships, honesty is very much key, and you did that. I think you did. You mention wanting holiday fling, but Ariel you always sound so grounded and clear in your wild energies, here. So, it seems you wanted holiday fling and probably made the campfire boundaries, and someone else took away with anything left unmentioned, just because they wanted to, not because you failed in any way. You may need a safe supportive space, and i think… Read more »

Sylve
Sylve
April 18, 2018 1:02 am
Reply to  Ariel

I had to look up open relationship just in case I was missing something, but nope. Open relationship: a marriage or relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others.

3rd time hurt in an open relationship? Why do you put yourself through it? What exactly do you want from a relationship? I am genuinely curious.

moongoat
MM Member
moongoat
April 17, 2018 7:30 pm

Thank you Mystic. Insightful and such briliant writing 🙂

Centaurus
MM Member
Centaurus
April 17, 2018 7:25 pm

Brilliant bit of writing Mystic.. and hilarious image!

aquaqua
MM Member
aquaqua
April 17, 2018 6:55 pm

yes

Alouetta
Alouetta
April 17, 2018 5:17 pm

Stunning words that I never would have listened to when I was in the the throws of that period (except in the depths of my heart, which would grow heavy), but now ring out true and clear as a bell. But isn’t there always two ‘me’s – one me trying to end things, and one trying to hold it all together? Who will win the Battle Royale!

I’m wondering if I need a new bed. One that’s mine, not ours.

ScorpintheSky
ScorpintheSky
April 17, 2018 5:17 pm

This picture is fuqing mint.

Alouetta
Alouetta
April 17, 2018 5:22 pm
Reply to  ScorpintheSky

isn’t it?

msrod1029
MM Member
msrod1029
April 18, 2018 12:47 pm
Reply to  ScorpintheSky

Need poster size!

sphinx
MM Member
sphinx
April 20, 2018 2:22 pm
Reply to  ScorpintheSky

😀

T
MM Member
T
April 17, 2018 4:52 pm

Wow! Yes, and thanks 🙂

MissDee
MM Member
MissDee
April 17, 2018 4:48 pm

I am kinda happy I don’t have any actual love life during this transition zone. I actually feel tired of me surfing the net on online dating sites. But Uranus is about to move in my 9th house and sextile my Venus so I thought I should stay all modern-online-uranian dating for at least some more months. Love Zombie is past me. It’s long gone. To be interested in a relationship it should be as real as my life on my own is, only funnier and more lively of course. I hate that Mercury Retro is over but we are… Read more »

Calidor
MM Member
Calidor
April 17, 2018 4:46 pm

Thanks so much Mystic for such an insightful post. My natal Chiron is at 28 Pisces, third house conjunct IC and just a tadpole away from my fourth house. Am currently breaking up with the group/employer/cultists who became my 2nd family 25 years ago. Have been doing this by degrees for several years, that coincide with the beginning of the Chiron at the end of the zodiac transit. I was blown away by your description of the types of dreams people are having. My current dream, and yes, it occurs whenever I think maybe *insert name of hypocrital user false… Read more »

Squared Virgo
MM Member
Squared Virgo
April 17, 2018 4:34 pm

Gorgon H.Q. – wonderful.

babysinclair
MM Member
babysinclair
April 17, 2018 11:55 pm
Reply to  Squared Virgo

I know! Love it!

Skarab
MM Member
Skarab
April 18, 2018 12:27 am
Reply to  Squared Virgo

Yes, isn’t it!

TruthIsStrangerThanFiction
TruthIsStrangerThanFiction
April 17, 2018 4:05 pm

Anyone else break up with someone today? Anyone…?

Man. Been beating myself up for the last month for ending up with the same prototype. All the positive thinking / standards / work does not magically bring great folks in your life. You just have deeper clarity to make choices about people you share the planet with.

Let me get this weepiness out than get back to building good s**t. Nothing is guaranteed. And the only reward of self care/realization is self care / realuzation.

LotusFlower
MM Member
LotusFlower
April 17, 2018 7:05 pm

True words. My sympathies with your current tough time. Indeed, don’t bear yourself up. Baby steps. Each apparently endlessly repeated mistake a little learning, or perhaps unlearning of toxic what you were told/shown since forever. Echoes gradually fade and ripples on the water grow fainter. You’re conscious, you’re sentient. Realisation / self care step by realisation / self care step you get to be kween and not messed with. Not quite the romantic dreams of old but think I’m happier with this now. Think 9 of pentacles, happy in a garden of her own making…

Ariel
MM Member
Ariel
April 17, 2018 7:46 pm

Same, love. We should form a support group. Sending a hug. x

TruthIsStrangerThanFiction
TruthIsStrangerThanFiction
April 17, 2018 8:28 pm
Reply to  Ariel

Thanks, ladies.

Ariel – I’ve moved internationally twice for 2 men. Both were shady as hell. Neither was officially “open” but they did a woman dirty.

God I hope our only connection is disappointment, not a man. PLEASE confirm he is NOT a Scorpio, lol… :p

Ariel
MM Member
Ariel
April 17, 2018 8:58 pm

No! Mine is an Aqua.

flowerchild
flowerchild
April 18, 2018 6:14 am

Yes, I decided to break up with someone today and coming to the blog today and seeing MM’s message ‘dump him’ confirmed that I’m doing the right thing. It’s really painful. 🙁

I hope you’re going to be ok, I’m sure you will in the long run, but I know — I KNOW — it hurts right now!

okla
okla
April 17, 2018 3:04 pm

Book contract. Now.

Ariel
MM Member
Ariel
April 17, 2018 7:47 pm
Reply to  okla

Amen!

rubedo
MM Member
rubedo
April 17, 2018 1:11 pm

It’s a bit strange perhaps. But the sentence I’ve been given to distill the past three weeks (and subsequently the last 7 years!) is: I am co-dependant. three words that once they finally landed in me clicked me over fully from denial (which is not believing in lies so much as not allowing oneself to view reality or what actually is.) to embracing the transition zone. Feeling incredibly stable even in the midst of not a whole lot being stable or clear. I AM. And it’s not me standing upon some construct, wishful thinking, future pining, feeling beholden to or… Read more »

Aquasunrise
Aquasunrise
April 17, 2018 9:51 pm
Reply to  rubedo

https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Free-Recovery-Workbook-Codependence/dp/0062505904

This is a workbook someone recommended for people in therapy. I have not used it in a professional capacity or as a client but I did read it and it is a direct & practical approach.

rubedo
MM Member
rubedo
April 17, 2018 10:25 pm
Reply to  Aquasunrise

Thanks!

I’m currently reading ‘codependent moore’ by melody beattie and it’s amayyyyzing.

rubedo
MM Member
rubedo
April 18, 2018 2:14 am
Reply to  rubedo

ugh, ‘codependent no more’*

babysinclair
MM Member
babysinclair
April 17, 2018 11:58 pm
Reply to  rubedo

This has been exactly my revelation over the Mercury retrograde period. I think I’ve come a long way from the beginning of Uranus in Aries but I think I have some work to do, now having named it. Thanks for the resource Aquasunrise!

Aquasunrise
Aquasunrise
April 18, 2018 9:29 am
Reply to  babysinclair

Thank you – It’s a good useful workbook too, you actually work “through” the material. The author is reknowned…

fishgirl
fishgirl
April 17, 2018 1:11 pm

This is fascinating. I’m going through a huge transition at the moment. Chiron at 0 degrees aries is right on my midheaven! About to launch a new website and new book… but the last six months (of not knowing) has been agony. Similar to a break up (with my old self?) but different, perhaps…
Thanks Mystic.. Also i’ve been waking at 4am in existential crisis for the past week as my website shifts over! Maybe I’m breaking up with my old self….
🙂

Laurel
MM Member
Laurel
April 17, 2018 12:53 pm

I love breakups. Yeah well, my current relationship is totally awesome and reaches it’s 10th year this year. But I remember the freedom and weight being lifted. A drug. Love drug? The Freedom Flaneur lol

Hayleyla
Hayleyla
April 17, 2018 12:37 pm

Desert crone sounds pretty good actually! Beautifully written and a beautiful reminder x

Pi
Pi
April 17, 2018 7:38 pm
Reply to  Hayleyla

Yeah I was thinking actually, desert crone or David Lynch dystopia sounds kind of interesting compared to the requirements and negotiations of everyday couple lyf? And there’s no reason why Mickey Rourke or Green Witch or 12-step Elder can’t meet their own tribe in this new open habitat…

Shoshannah
MM Member
Shoshannah
April 17, 2018 12:11 pm

That image ! Lol for awesome Public Image Ltd reference (?)

Shoshannah
MM Member
Shoshannah
April 17, 2018 12:28 pm
Reply to  Shoshannah

Or maybe that’s me projecting ! Various lyrics of his are helping me over a bad patch. Anger is an energy.

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 18, 2018 12:15 am
Reply to  Shoshannah

No, i heard it too! Especially stronger as i reopened the post. Sorry, i didn’t scroll down enough as i was kind of surfing another bit of dilemma, and i like to check in here because Mystic’s things, even the sidebar, often brings me a random synchro moment.

Was young enough then to despise mcLaren, but find now that he was a force that kept the PiL image going beyond its organic expiration. Westwood, too, though she is by far the more current force of fashion-punk. How ahead of her time right while being in it, is she?

scorpiodawn
MM Member
scorpiodawn
April 18, 2018 1:12 am
Reply to  milleunanotte

yes i heard it too!

Shoshannah
MM Member
Shoshannah
April 18, 2018 8:31 am
Reply to  milleunanotte

I Love her too, she is really beyond any time.

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