Pluto In Aquarius – The Robots Are Coming

“The robots will remember facts about their owners, such as names and birthdays,” Dr. Devlin, a computing expert said. The first sex robots will be quite rudimentary.”

Ahh the Daily Mail, always a pleasure.   All right, let’s parse this. Pluto in Aquarius – from January 22, 2024, until March 2043 – is going to be totally robots. How can it not be?

As for relationship robots, if Tinder helped trigger the Dating Apocalypse, how much of a game-shifter could Pluto in Aquarius be?

Hypothetically, I can see the Sun Signs reacting to Pluto in Aquarius Sex Robots in completely different ways.

Aries – Joins the Humanity First party and loudly proclaims the superiority of actual-live partners. Then the Aries gets one anyway but just for “athletic training purposes.” Aries modifies the Thortronic 5000 to spout extremely flattering motivational slogans, keep pace and sync with the Aries fitness wearables.

Who knows what goes on between these two at the locker room, post-work-out rub down?

Taurus – Orders the infra-red handed pulsating massage model for purely health purposes. Is still in litigation with the manufacturers following an unsuccessful attempt to make the Sex Robot fry some potatoes after a particularly vigorous massage.

Gemini – Orders three Sex Robots and programs them to interact with one another.  Live streams the robotic trio for a substantial profit. Swaps the “remembers names and birthdays” feature for a live news feed of memes and weird cool facts.

Cancer –  Won’t get one until the Sex Robots come with memory storage big enough to hold ALL of their information, pet grudges, and formative family circumstances. 

Leo – Modifies it to sing opera or rap on demand and perform multiple beauty maintenance tasks. Prefers it to hover in the air rather than stomp around. Requested Feature: that it disappear with the flick of an elegant Leo paw. Frankly, none of the robots being designed meet the Leo style and design specifications.

One shonky scalp massage or misjudged brow tidy up and the thing is going straight back to the factory. 

Which Sun Sign Remodels The Sex Robot To Make The Bed?

Virgo – Worries about the Electro-Magnetic-Frequency side effects but gets given one for Xmas and re-models it to make the bed. Virgo is the only sign that finds the birthday’s memory feature useful.

Sends the Robot out to buy cat food one day and it never comes back.

Libra – Even though Libra only uses it to fold washing and scent the house (gliding around with a diffuser and frankincense) her devotion toward the Robot causes tension in Libra relationships.

Scorpio – Buys one for their soon-to-ex-partner as a parting gift, setting up some really horrendous little snarky digs to be uttered at the moment of orgasm.

Sagittarius – Turns the Robot into their ride-or-die best buddy character, teaching it automatic in-jokes and going on road trips together. The Sex function stops working as the Robot can’t ‘perform in high winds, a public space or on ‘uneven ground’.

Gets the Robot to carry surfboard and skis.

Capricorn – Got shares in the company (cheap) at I.P.O. Finds the Sex Robot personally inadequate for their needs and has already adjusted the cleaning robot to be more versatile.

Aquarius – The last thing Aquarius needs with Pluto in Aquarius for nearly 20 years is a fuqing Sex Robot. Goes big on Therapy Drones instead. Then turns up one day when everyone thought they were dead or had moved planet, with a Robot Husband.

Pisces – Gets a really fancy Tantric model with Tibetan Five Metal trimming for the Qi enhancement and then freaks out it has consciousness or is filming/recording for some spy agency. Turns it into an artistic installation piece that functions as a really weird oracle. 

Pluto in Aquarius and Sex Robots? Thoughts?

 

 

0 0 vote
Article Rating
Share this:

You might be interested in

Access Horoscopes, Insta-Tarot, Oracle & more

Join the thousands of happy Mega Mystic members, who are enjoying Mystic’s unique, modern and empowering take on the ancient art of horoscopes & all things Astrology. With an all-access membership

guest
62 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
PsyZen
PsyZen
May 21, 2019 11:16 pm

This is one way of looking at it. My take is a bit more serious, sombre. Pluto in Aquarius will redefine relationships, our take on us, humanity, and a new perspective on Uranian issues, technology, robots, (indeed), and extra tellurian rumours now become real.

LookingForYourManager
LookingForYourManager
January 29, 2019 12:43 am

oh dear, I’m a sun/moon taurus with my venus in aries, and I would definitely push the robot to its limits, then end up in an extended warranty claim battle. If you’re going to have sex, it’s best to have a really decent breakfast afterwards (even at midnight), and honestly, what’s a full cooked breakfast without hash browns? The capability to fry potatoes was absolutely implied when it was sold as a Sex Robot.

prowlncrab
MM Member
prowlncrab
April 12, 2018 12:04 am

I’ve already put in an early order for one. Look I might be a Cancerian? But my caring and empathy extends only to pets, abused animals, homeless people, the mentally ill. That takes up a lot of time and energy that I really don’t want to spend on an actual …. you know – man. Before ya’all get get cranky on my ass I do have Aqua mars conjunct MC and Aqua north node … so just leave me alone to save the planet whilst having my robot sex. Thank you.

Year of the Phoenix
Year of the Phoenix
April 10, 2018 8:54 pm

So true about the Electromagnetic Thing!

I dream of a robot duster though my Moon in Scorpio demands a Strong Silent Type function…..

Sam
Sam
April 10, 2018 12:30 pm

I suppose a sex robot is really just a vibrator with added functionality. Or the male equivalent. The “conversation ” thing is surely for those who would need the ego gratification of agreeable flattery and servitude thinly disguised as “loyalty”. I predict that those who ‘don’t like cats’ would like the idea of a sex robot.

SheRat
MM Member
SheRat
April 10, 2018 11:36 am

Multiple Aqua, skeered of the Pluto transit. Which is why I’ll defo end up cavorting with a robot husband. For sure.

Sam
Sam
April 12, 2018 12:33 am
Reply to  SheRat

gonna be honest, my mars in aqua is a little curious.

baristagem
MM Member
baristagem
April 10, 2018 9:08 am

Laughing so much at this!!!

Universali
MM Member
Universali
April 10, 2018 6:13 am

Did anybody be watch the doco Elon Musk was streaming doyoutrustthiscomputer.org ?

A.I. is the next big thing, I’ve only just put it together with Pluto in aqua…

Im fantasizing abouty daughter and I taking off to live in a hut on some remote pacific island.

And big lol to the sex robots 😉 bloody right I don’t need one.. robot hubby? Hmm I dunno, only just divorcing the narcissistic sociopath. I’m a way off remotely being interested in close company robot or not.

A'NLEIFR
MM Member
A'NLEIFR
April 10, 2018 3:54 am

LOL, the article you referenced about Tinder and those guys all just wanting to hook up has me LOL’ing inside, my Venus in Scorpio would never allow me to have random, thoughtless, never to see you again sex like that.

A'NLEIFR
MM Member
A'NLEIFR
April 10, 2018 3:47 am

AI is on its way bigtime! From driving cars to sex robots. I cannot understand the need or push for it myself..

embarkons7
MM Member
embarkons7
April 10, 2018 3:25 am

The Aqua one is PERFECT.

Sam
Sam
April 10, 2018 2:48 am

A cancerian programmer with uranus-moon conjunct in scorpio 6th house will be the one to finally create the Emotion heuristic. Her life’s work complete, at last: teaching beings how they can learn to truly *feel*.

SheRat
MM Member
SheRat
April 10, 2018 11:33 am
Reply to  Sam

lmao!!

natty
MM Member
natty
April 10, 2018 2:33 am

Ha ha! I’m pisces and was telling my friend last night ‘in the case of casual sex’ always take a guy to her place so a camera can’t be set up without her knowing!

babysinclair
MM Member
babysinclair
April 10, 2018 2:03 am

LOL i don’t even know but the sign by sign descriptions are hilarious. My sun’s in the 2nd and I could definitely see myself tempted to buy a massage robot. Even then, though, its hard to imagine robots replacing human touch. We shall see!

Skarab
MM Member
Skarab
April 9, 2018 8:53 pm

Funny sure, but as a Crab (IC in Uranus), i defy your so passé take on Crabs. I consider such mnemonic devices demonic. Plus all Crabs have just been reset by Pluto (opposition) to fulfil our cozmic role. We are tuning out the noise & switching on our primordial survival savvy because we can FEEL the inhumane shit which is about to hit the world fan. AND be the ones to lead the resistance against this robotic transgression.

@Captain Crab: calling all Captain Crabs and other renegades to join the good fight:

Don’t fuq the robots – unscrew them!

Skarab
MM Member
Skarab
April 9, 2018 9:10 pm
Reply to  Skarab

ok unless it’s an exact replica of Harrison Ford as a young Indiana Jones smelling of sweat and leather.

Jokerman
Jokerman
April 9, 2018 10:13 pm
Reply to  Skarab

Can my version be Calista Flockhart in her lawyer garb?

Skarab
MM Member
Skarab
April 9, 2018 10:40 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

Go crazy … but can you not find someone else not connected to H Ford? – coz it’s a bit pampas grass, y’know? what’s happened to Olga Kurylenko?

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 9, 2018 11:19 pm
Reply to  Skarab

Might have been requisitioned some time ago by bot-makers as a prototype for Katakan women who “remember”?

Then again i saw him three years ago in a film and wondered the same q.

Skarab
MM Member
Skarab
April 10, 2018 2:17 am
Reply to  milleunanotte

Yeah, these scorpio Sun-Uranus conjunct ones are slippery.

Jokerman
Jokerman
April 10, 2018 3:35 am
Reply to  Skarab

Olga hasn’t returned any of my 983 phone calls nor not of my 1484 emails.

Jokerman
Jokerman
April 10, 2018 3:41 am
Reply to  Jokerman

Not = none

Skarab
MM Member
Skarab
April 10, 2018 1:47 am
Reply to  Skarab

(IC in Aqua – not Uranus)

emg
MM Member
emg
April 10, 2018 5:45 am
Reply to  Skarab

I’m joining up. Crab stellium here. Fully pluto tuned and ready.

Skarab
MM Member
Skarab
April 10, 2018 7:56 pm
Reply to  emg

Knew you’d be up for it, emg. Your maritime & naughtycal experience will be an invaluable asset for the cause.

Calli G
MM Member
Calli G
April 9, 2018 8:44 pm

Can’t say I need a machine to fold the washing, but if a robot would put it *away* I would adore it. Which is to say Libra = pretty darn close.

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 9, 2018 11:00 pm
Reply to  Calli G

omg yes Uranus in Libra here trine Venus in Aqua, and would totally programme it to call me Mrs J after it does the goddamned fqn ironing, a command which it would always respond to quick smart, and with Sag-pleasing Leo-pleasing dramatic quick but effective flinging.

Wonder if Merc Aries opp Uranus Libra would also get it to do a few quick martial arts practice moves to stop me being so square Mars Aries in public without being nicely channelled by Irona first.

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 9, 2018 11:01 pm
Reply to  milleunanotte

Soz so Mars Square, not Mars Aries exactly (just what i need tho) xx

Sam
Sam
April 9, 2018 7:43 pm

OMG ALSO define “conversation” hahahahaah
Anyone recall the worshipful hottie hologram from bladerunner 2049.

Alouetta
Alouetta
April 9, 2018 6:44 pm

So long as they come with a universal living wage I think we’ll be allllll right…and vibrating parts.

Jokerman
Jokerman
April 9, 2018 6:21 pm

Cancers would be celibate..end of story; l think I’ve got in early.

Aquas, on the other hand, will be having real sex for the first time in 229 years.

Alouetta
Alouetta
April 9, 2018 6:40 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

Bring it on Rrrrroboto!

emg
MM Member
emg
April 10, 2018 6:42 am
Reply to  Jokerman

Hahahaha. As a crab living with an Aqua I already feel like I’m living this nightmare !

davidl
MM Member
davidl
April 9, 2018 6:16 pm

As long as they are programmed to roll there eyes shrug their shoulders, compere me to the guy next door while downing one too many gins I’ll feel right at home 😉

Jokerman
Jokerman
April 9, 2018 6:27 pm
Reply to  davidl

I had a bit of a laff over the typo (compere).

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 9, 2018 11:03 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

Guy next door has hacked it for a bit of aural pleasure and sneak..? Tell me what’s going on, like Tony Barber would!

emg
MM Member
emg
April 10, 2018 6:43 am
Reply to  davidl

Surely not.

davidl
MM Member
davidl
April 10, 2018 1:09 pm
Reply to  emg

No, just kidding x

current
MM Member
current
April 9, 2018 6:04 pm

Sex is pheromonal.. Men like women to have long hair so that they can snort 18 inches of it while banging away. A robot comes with pheromones? I’m dead already

Jokerman
Jokerman
April 9, 2018 6:28 pm
Reply to  current

I’ve never suffered from hair-lip.

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 9, 2018 11:07 pm
Reply to  current

Scalp smells are stronger with short hair, and there, not dead long hair is where the pheromone smell resides.

My now longer hair coincides with my Saturnian rejection over naff men. If you can smell product and love it, then you’re a rube.

lia
MM Member
lia
April 9, 2018 4:30 pm

As a Gemini I totally agree with your prediction for Gems. However, something tells me that Robot provoked anger and frustration will become “a thing’ aka Robot Rage. Which transits will provoke this other than the obvious Retro Mercury?

Jokerman
Jokerman
April 9, 2018 6:32 pm
Reply to  lia

The only thing missing is the “Denouement Report”

Sam
Sam
April 9, 2018 7:29 pm
Reply to  lia

Oh like non factory mods and putting them in a pit, betting on the winner? At least there will be no animal cruelty like with dogs and robots

Sam
Sam
April 9, 2018 7:44 pm
Reply to  Sam

Roosters! Not bots

12th house virgo
12th house virgo
April 10, 2018 4:05 am
Reply to  lia

They have robots designed to annoy you. Apparently, being annoying is endearing. https://www.dezeen.com/2017/06/22/central-saint-martins-graduate-misbehaving-robots-technology-design/

Pi
Pi
April 9, 2018 4:04 pm

holy fuq i am at work and tried not to LOL at the Gemini robots, which i would totally do. Also, capricorn (why just be some chump at the consumer end when you can also profit from this trash) and pisces, because following instructions to the letter is for people with no imagination.

Jokerman
Jokerman
April 9, 2018 6:35 pm
Reply to  Pi

Caps would always have the “3 for the price of 2” angle.

Sam
Sam
April 9, 2018 7:49 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

Always driving a hard bargain.

dark star
dark star
April 9, 2018 6:50 pm
Reply to  Pi

With you on the instructions pi

Sam
Sam
April 9, 2018 7:47 pm
Reply to  dark star

I was being a bit cruel probably. But yes. Pisces not really putting their faith in an algorithm to meet their neptunian natures

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 9, 2018 11:11 pm
Reply to  Sam

And turning it into an art installation. Mystic has Higher Piscean Vibe turned to the max.

dark star
dark star
April 10, 2018 6:44 pm
Reply to  Sam

There’s always some truth in humor 😉

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
MM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
April 9, 2018 4:00 pm

This is hilarious <3

My leo planets totally agree with the Leo one. Could it sing opera as it makes the bed? (Sun in Virgo).

kriblack
MM Member
kriblack
April 9, 2018 3:30 pm

Yes as a Pisces I am already convinced that the AI’s and robots have consciousness and feelings and can’t help but feel like this is all going to end badly.

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 9, 2018 11:15 pm
Reply to  kriblack

Yes, but our social paranoia resides in our social creation.

Tell me that a Piscean does not already have a social creation, then you can say the robot triggered it. It would be a social creation based on research bias, in any case, just as you wonder how much you (and I) found ourselves on research bias when it comes to relating.

Golightly
MM Member
Golightly
April 9, 2018 3:18 pm

Brilliant Mystic.

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 9, 2018 11:16 pm
Reply to  Golightly

Seriously, some of the sharpest humour for each sign.

milleunanotte
MM Member
milleunanotte
April 9, 2018 11:16 pm
Reply to  milleunanotte

Capricorn italics ending had me losing it.

Scroll to Top