Relationship Astrology Is Real.
Astrology does not dictate your love life. You’re in charge of that realm. But the patterns of the stars reflect your romances and significant bonds with eerie clarity.
There is an astrological theory that every planet in your birth chart is a relationship. Or rather, that it can manifest as one. You meet that archetype on the outside of your psyche, as a person coming into your life. The less-internalized or owned that energy is, the more likely you are to project it out onto others. Alternatively, to encounter it, sometimes again and again. Sometimes they are Destiny Muses.
It is more complicated than that, apparently. But in the (light-hearted) spirit of Ten Varieties Of Astrological Fidelity, let’s look at romances you would be having if dating your planets.
The Sun Relationship
Meeting them makes you self-actualize rapidly. You fall back in love with your self. Or, with the person you could be. Their regard for you is like the electricity that powers your light. Possible Issue: The fuse blows out. One person plays flame to the other person’s hapless moth. The singed wings stink and who the fuq wants to be a moth anyway?
The Moon Relationship Is Your Comfort Zone
The Moon Relationship
You feel nurtured, understood and most of all, safe with them. There is an element of your childhood or teenage ideals constellated around this attraction or union. You very quickly want to goo-goo and set up routines together. Possible Issue: Stifling familiarity. That the intimacy sours but you are still mutually enmeshed. Mortgage, co-parenting, shared debt. Fear that nobody else will love you shuffling around in your cow-print pajamas or appreciate your weird dietary habits.
The Mercury Relationship
You meet at a train station, a book shop or a library. If you meet at a party, the conversation starts straight away and does not shut down. ‘Shared interests’ is the understatement of the century. The Mercury Relationship runs off sensational dialogue, ideas, mutual enthusiasms, gossip, and information. Everyone else bores you. They keep you cognitively switched ON. Possible Issue: Sibling-like chemistry. Feelings parked in another suburb. Wi-Fi goes off.
Socio Biologists Write Textbooks About Your Reinvention By Pure Lust
The Venus Relationship
They are hot. They think you are hot. When they are around you ARE hot. Sex Pheromones take over your entire organism. Socio-biologist textbooks could be written about your reinvention by pure lust. The very same endorphins that are powering your private parts fuel a fresh interest in poetry, art, cinematic couples ‘like us,’ lingerie and matching body art. Possible Issue: Implosion when normality reasserts itself. The spell wears off. Someone gets a haircut or a bad back. You get to meet your could-be new in-laws.
The Mars Romance Is A Catalyst
The Mars Relationship
You meet on the job or at the gym. You’re officially rivals or competitive in some strange, not quite defined way. They are a catalyst, a motivator, a picker-upper of your morale. It can occur even if they don’t mean to be. Through them, you’re inspired to surf, play music, tone up and make money at Warp Speed. You tell your shitty Ex never to darken your (salt-lined) doorstep again. Perhaps you get a black belt, do 100 push ups before bed every night, kick drugs, whatever. Possible Issue: This is often a one purpose relationship, sent to get both your arses into gear. Once that’s occurred, goodbye Mars relationship. Or, too argumentative to sustain for long.
The Jupiter Relationship Is Always Mutually Enriching
The Jupiter Relationship
The gourmet, literary, traveling together, cultured and often a rich couple. You are both expanded by the Jupiter Relationship. It can also be a Mentor/Muse relationship or Teacher/Student scenario. The generous publisher with their star author. Amazing director-actor synergies. Co-business people. Jovial friendships. These are all Jupiter Relationship archetypes Possible Issues: The money runs out. The arteries can’t handle the partying. You’re both such growth fiends but that only works when you’re advancing in the same direction. One person suddenly wants a more Moon-like intimacy, and the other wants to entertain that night, every night.
Saturn Anything Is Always A Time Trip
The Saturn Relationship
One day you realize that you can count your friendship/relationship with that person in actual damn decades. Give or take a few years when you’re non-speakers or not as connected, they’re woven into the very fabric of your life. Potential Issue: Living in the past or reinforcing one another’s stuckness. They know where you came from. The reminder may not always be pleasant or reassuring.
The Neptune Relationship
Possibilities: You meet on the astral plain first. One of you is a ghost. It’s a classic Love Zombie scenario. It ends up a mess, but the creative-spiritual arousal was well worth it. It’s a soap opera, but you’re the star, director and writer. Not only that, you’re funding the whole fuqing production, via debt, glitter and magical thinking. Or, you meet out the back of a temple, with the scent of mint and memories of Babylon infusing the evening air. As always, life after life, your souls recognize one another. Potential Issue: That’s it’s not real. Or that you’re mixing up the lifetimes.
It Is Between You And The Zeitgeist
The Uranus Relationship
It is between you and the Zeitgeist. You’re zooming, inventing, creating and trying to evolve. Just for kicks, you’re connecting straight into Source Vibe. Orgasms can be a drag on your Qi when there are other people involved. Not everyone understands that once you have enough orgones in your system, you need to do something with them. Now and then you meet other Uranians. They can be relied on to make contact, out of the blue, intensely and adoringly every third cycle of Black Moon Lilith. And then, satisfyingly, to take themselves off the scene just as swiftly. Uranus Relationships that do become fully fledged official pair bonds appear suddenly one morning, to the shock of the populace, like alien spaceships in a sci-fi. Potential Issue: Define “issue.”
The Pluto Relationship
You meet at a morgue, in a brothel, at E.R., at a 12 Step meeting or touring a war zone. You’re in such total morph mode that you are allergic to anyone who seems ‘stuck.’ And compared to where you are at, everyone is ‘stuck’ these days. The Pluto Relationship runs off Radical Authenticity, and you are usually one another’s Reset Person. The sexual chemistry can be intense, but it’s merely a side-product of accelerated soul velocity. Strange fate lines bought you together. Strange fate lines could keep you apart. Potential Issue: Compulsivity, obsession, control-tripping, power surges.
The Chiron Relationship
Is with a quantum matrix. You recode your entire vibe at the quantum level while just deep stretching your hip flexors.
Which one of these have you had or are you having?
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