Vanadium Lightyear’s New Job

Pluto in Aquarius was still years away, Vanadium Lightyear reflected ruefully.  Vowing not to date at all until then had made sense when she first set that intention. She had been being bombarded with social media, ad-drones and personal messages from her Space Dust addicted narcissistic vampire ex-boyfriend Ronaldo.  He said that he wanted her to go to his Deflecting Karma Drama course. But really, he just wanted to (1) make the point that he thought she needed it and (2) brag about how well he was doing.

She’d gone on a Diversion Date with a person who refused to tell her anything about his astrology. “I’m a sign you wouldn’t have heard of,” he said. “It’s illegal to be this sign so the government covered it up but there were 13 signs.” He claimed to have paranormal powers but completely ignored Vanadium’s telekinesis messages.

She was becoming dangerously O.C.D. about Ronaldo. Now, of course, D.K.D. had become this major sensation. It was on every screen she saw, at first making her think that it was just ad-stalking. That nobody actually watched it. Idiot algorithms were just targeting her.  But no, everyone she asked about it was “totally into it.” She felt scattered and ungrounded. How could someone she personally knew for a fact was actually dysfunctional beyond belief be shaping young or vulnerable psyches in his own fuqed up fashion? And worse, becoming ridiculously wealthy.  Just meditate gazing at flame and drink more entheogenic teas said the cheery messages from Neptunian Life Coaching.

The Real Housewives Of Hades

Weirder, it turned out that Real Housewives Of Hades was not a hypnogogic nightmare, as she had thought. It was real. They were real. Disgruntled dead soap opera stars, demoted dryads fed up with the patriarchal crap of some of the old Gods and aspiring alien deities who just loved the frocks. Not even Neptunian Life Coaching knew the producers or where it was being beamed from. “Television and Screens are Uranian,” they wrote back, in sky-writing. The show was of course, hideously compulsive viewing. She loved the styling of the different dimensions, the hair and how the gladiators kept reincarnating.

Vanadium was still working for the sketchy ex-mercenary, while seeking an actual Space Archeology position in the now more-alluring-than-ever city of Chronopolis. She was not sure if she was just an ordinary insomniac, transitioning into being a polyphasic sleeper or becoming a vampire like Ronaldo. But all the hours spent not-sleeping had sharpened her resolve. She would both out-earn Ronaldo AND be in some form of sane relationship before Pluto in Aquarius. She was going to invent an Artificial Intelligence to go online dating for her. And then, once perfected, she could sell it to a tech company.

Image: Gene Szafran

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33 thoughts on “Vanadium Lightyear’s New Job

  1. Where is the like button for this post? I think I must have telepathically made the same ‘Pluto in Aquarius’ pact, not realising I was sending rather than receiving. Oh well.. only a few more years.. probably best to count them in terms of Prime Ministers and Presidents.

  2. I was reading about the Norse goddess Freia, and it turns out that Vanadium is a chemical element.

    Wikipedia says the discoverer “named “vanadium” after the Scandinavian goddess of beauty and fertility, Vanadís (Freyja). Both names were attributed to the wide range of colors found in vanadium compounds.”

    I like how “Vanadium Lightyear” alludes to a “wide range of colors” and “six trillion miles.”

    • I must look up the qualities and properties of Vanadium.

      Freyja is huge on my chart. Forming a trijunct with Juno & Pallas. Which is opposite my Odin conjunct Gary. I was such a bogan brawler when younger.

      Odin on my Asc adding to my Mars/Saturn/Pluto stuff trining and opposing both by natal n transits. Like Saturn opposing my Asc whilst Odin is on it.
      Did someone say fight?

  3. I can see a Vanadium novel and it would be very Terry Pratchet, in that the footnotes explaining everything would be the best part!

  4. LOVE this post — and all the Vanadium posts. Chronopolis = genius.

    Vanadium should get a yin tonic from her herbalist to steady her sleep.

    Look forward to seeing how she adapts to Uranus in Taurus — maybe that’ll be time to next level to the space archeology gig?

  5. Lol. That AI would work. Did anyone else read the machine learning stuff where two chatbots were talking and one declared love for the other and then there was a lot of defensive and snippy stuff too. So funny, and the one where a bot named some new paint colours, I cried laughing: snowbonk, turdly, navel tan. I probably read about it here first.

  6. Thank you correspondent Vanadium / lovely and esteemed Mystic. It is a delightful read with many parallels to ponder. Thanks also for not ‘phoning it in’

    True life and stream of consciousness from the streets of the real universe.

  7. Chronopolis.
    Demoted dryads.
    Ronaldo. You know he won’t last with his attitude, mystic. His scheme will go tits-up and he’ll have to abscond to Thailand
    Pure gold mystic <3 xxox

  8. LOVE your imagination, how wonderful! Legitimately considering trying to make a show like that a reality….

  9. Brilliant, Mystic. But i have a question: when i read the name Ronaldo together with the word narcissist I just can’t get Cristiano Ronaldo out of my brain – and i wonder if he is the inspiration for your Ronaldo? Though being such an extreme Aquarius narcissist i doubt whether C R would pollute his body with space dust. Hell, he doesn’t even pollute his penis with women’s vaginas in order to replicate himself. But still, i wonder if he’s the inspiration.

  10. Love this. “He claimed to have paranormal powers but completely ignored Vanadium’s telekinesis messages”. Perfection.

    For the past few nights I’ve been lying awake, tossing and turning with my brain just going: Mercury! Jupiter! Mercury! Jupiter! And I’m like okaaaaayyyy dudes, what do you need?

  11. Well, I’m hyper-Uranian, and, at random: Sleep pattern problems? Check! Asshole ex-boyfriend who everyone knows is a douche but doing so well no one will stop talking to him because they want to go on his “pirate ship” and his voice popping up begging for revenge MeToo exposure? Check. Compulsive TV watching? Check. Recent resolution to fuq relationships? Check. Diversion dating (well, emailing of potentials)? Check. Still working for sketchy dude in sketchy sitch? Check.

    Managed to NOT map out my plan for Merc retrograde and after last night. Hoping it still packs a punch if I do it tonight….

    • Since you are super Uranian can I be as bold as to ask you how doe this super power play in your life? Uranus is totally unknown to me so I am very curious. Hoping this questions make any sense.
      I am try to know more about the planet and what could be better then Uranian peeps?

      • Gack! Maybe it’s the wrong day or hour, but man am I not thinking of my Uranian aspects a superpower at the mo. I’ll try to be even-handed.

        Um. I am too far ahead or too far behind my time–I don’t mind which, really. I’m just out of step. I routinely initiate and execute projects that garner minor attention at the time, only to have someone else do the exact same thing 7 – 10 years later to great success (or, would have been a desirable level of such to moi) or which get me judged as crazy only to have it become a trend a decade later. By which time no one remembers that I had done thing X in the first place. LOL.

        Think: Pioneers get the arrows, settlers get the land. (or, timing is everything).

        One way UranusBats plays out positively (5H Sun/NN/Merc Aqua, 1H Moon/Uran) is that I am much better at winging it than most…there is a sense of putting my hand in the air and opening for transmission, which seems to generate positive reactions–in the right setting. 😉

        Lightning is important: I’m a total rod for it…no group of friends does not have a story wherein I tried to hail a cab and got a limo instead, for instance. Or the waiter decides to give me my $50 steak for free. On the other hand, crazy people latch on…pick me out of a crowd on the tube for a verbal dust-up, for instance. Or a group of obviously idiotic women at the uni where I work decide to get all bent out of shape because I own and wear some really awesome cowboy boots. (that is not a joke–apparently, early 40s is “too old” for cowboy boots {{blank friggin’ stare}}).

        I’m sure other Uranians have similar stories.

        • Ha Hahahaha Yes this is total freak Uranus manifesting power you have. As I too have exactly these things happen. The whole doing things 10-15 years in advance which goes onto mainstream is super me. By then I’m bored and have moved on. And my friends wonder if it’s my pheromones as I just ‘attract’ people. They talk, they touch, they rant everything, straight out of the blue. I’d loathe a life without Uranus.
          Oh saying that have just met another out there freak, looks like Jesus in his early 30’s, totally individualised, teaophile, meditation and yoga guru
          It was a night of me too and omg and that’s after he’d already given me a packed lunch for the day, totally vegan glorious food
          I must stop this picking up glorious men!
          Ha who am I kidding !!!!!

          • Gimme some of that, my ma’am! Are you having like, a well-aspected Mars transit? (though someone claiming to be a “guru” in their early 30s gives me the willies…)

            Uranus, as I never tire of saying, has been going over my 7H Mars like a thumb over a raw nipple for like, a year now. It’s been goofy.

        • This is gold thank you. I didn’t mean your answer to be a textbook definition of “Uranian” but more of a what it might mean in real life and also to get that “vibe”. I’am saving this post! xxx

        • as far as i am concerned, being told i am too (insert adjective) for something is basically a red rag to a bull. just you try and stop me, pathetic same-bots hahahahahaha BAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA mmuawaha.

          in conclusion, you should wear the boots Every Day and make sure you walk past the whoever bleated that crap at you every time, with a cheerful “hellooo there!”

          • Pi: That was precisely what I did! LOL!

            Thankfully, I work remotely now so I don’t have to see the Sisters Grimm in person anymore.

        • “Um. I am too far ahead or too far behind my time–I don’t mind which, really. I’m just out of step. I routinely initiate and execute projects that garner minor attention at the time, only to have someone else do the exact same thing 7 – 10 years later to great success (or, would have been a desirable level of such to moi) or which get me judged as crazy only to have it become a trend a decade later. By which time no one remembers that I had done thing X in the first place. LOL.”

          I “bowl off the wrong foot” too!
          A reference to Max Walker.

  12. Woah. No entheogens needed. I just clicked on the Neptune Life Coaching link for a giggle and not only did I read the date as 2020 but I saw my former incarnation on here. Past present and future right before my eyes. Trippy.

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