Last Exit To Saturn

Filed in Saturn

Hey Mystic,

I know you are ALWAYS busy so I never expect a reply of course, but I’m a writer and astrological nut as we know, so I sometimes feel compelled to share.  

Well- 

This Gemini Full Moon could not have been weirder, even with some level of expectancy going into it.  Ran into the ex-lover of ALL ex-lovers who came into my life LITERALLY as Saturn finally dipped into Sagittarius for real in 2015.  We had an on and off and god-awful affair which I will not detail, but it for some reason left me completely shell-shocked and broken for an unusually long period of time considering the breadth of the whole ordeal.  I blame the Pisces contacts in our charts, The Saturn-Neptune squares and the fact that within a few months of us parting ways he Pisces’d his way into an entire different lifepath, equipped with new exotic locale and exotic BRIDE to go with.   I could barely get a date!  

Long story short, I saw him this weekend which killed me at first OF COURSE since we have  gnarly karmic ties… but at the same time this encounter called attention to the fact that I have grown so much in the past two years, I would never tolerate or participate in the checked out non-committal sleezebag shit that went down when he was in his pre-Bridal restaurant owner stage.  Get this- I recently created these one word Oracle cards with a planetary symbol to accompany the word and the one I pulled Saturday?  KARMA

Anywho…I’ve written numerous poems basically all centered around this Saturn Saggi shitshow relationship and this is my last, thought I would share.  Well, last for now – I’m hoping ever LOL

Thanks for reading, and being the queen of EVERYTHING

The Last Days of Saturn in Sagittarius

For ten minutes I waited by the door
Last night, Hovering

Halfway in – Halfway out
Fifteen minutes Before closing

I couldn’t think straight after seeing you
And the moon was in Gemini
Counting on two hands all of the reasons
I wanted to say goodbye one last time.

None of them made sense but I came pretty close.
Last I heard, you were married at Burning Man and living in Mexico

I said to my friend Paul “Do you think I should say Something?”
But I knew the answer.  I left still wanting to see your face,

Also praying I’d never see you again.  One foot at a time Crawled out
To the street Lingering awhile, I heard the music from outside still playing
And thought about going back.

Tried so hard not to look behind me
To see if you were leaving but of course- I failed, looked back four times,
And said to myself, “Is this really it?” while lighting up a cigarette on the curb.

Sitting in the cold, I realized I don’t love you anymore.
Hailed a taxi to another club and had a cocktail to celebrate.

JH.

WOW – brilliant perspective and i think those moments when time collides and someone whose very presence was once upon a time SO poignant re-manifests but in a different dimension are SUPER Saturnine.

And i feel like these last days of Saturn in Sagittarius (for another thirty years) will present us with many such moments.   And i am also happy to be dubbed Queen of Everything – thank you!

Image:  Sabrina the Teenage Witch

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70 thoughts on “Last Exit To Saturn

  1. Weird, I saw an old lover, on another existential plane, at the train station on Dec. 10th, with his family, wearing white jeans and a pom pom hat, I didn’t turn around. The affair was 12 years ago, last Jupiter in Saturn, I’ve never really gotten over it, a three month affair. Sounds similar, pain, poetry, karma, but I never figured out why astrologically. I found a past life where I was his sex slave. Weird. But I’m strangely distant from it now, like watching it from afar. Like the pain was so great you’re cautarized? It’s late, it’s timeless. I want a break. I’m hoping I’ll get it with Saturn in Capricorn?

    • Mesange, you’ve somehow also described the situation I experienced with the Capricorn a couple of years ago. Except I didn’t even form a relationship with him .
      I thought it was love and maybe it was but I’ve since become wary of painting any “intense” feeling as love. I could not find any reason to explain how I experienced *so much* pain about not being with someone who I wasn’t ever I involved with . Two tarot readers noted some kind of soul contract, one mentioned that my femininity was not respected in the past connection (her words), you mention sex slave, which makes me wonder.
      Slowly slowly I came out of this having learnt a great deal about myself. I can’t say cauterized but I certainly feel thick and numb in many ways after experiencing this psychological and heart- centred chaos. Neptune was my only possibility or a major node contact but I don’t have any data… I wonder what on earth would have happened -how this would have ended up – if I had got together with him.

      Anyway, thank you for your comment and the process it’s offered me to think about. Pi x

  2. JH here and I forgot to mention that said Karma oracle card – of course the planetary symbol was Saturn – DUH

  3. Oh woe, saturn in sag has ripped my life to shreds… torched the edifices of any value with such flames my tears made little impact snuffing them out.

    All alone for now
    saturn return in seventh
    it can get better?

    • I feel like people harsh Saturn so hard and I get it I really do –
      HOWEVER

      after undergoing a Saturn-Pluto transit, followed by a Saturn return, followed by a NEVERending Venus square Pluto over the course of a 5 year period a few years back

      I can definitely say that while yes the dense and heavy energy of Saturn is daunting and non-sexy… eventually it begins to become oddly hot when you firm up your standards and you better know what you want.

      and it’s like a kiss on the cheek compared to Pluto medicine

  4. That’s some full moon shit right there. Sounds like a blessing to me, to have it confirmed that you don’t love him anymore. Yay for a happy ending!

  5. Saturn return i Libra wasnt hard, I got into a committed relationship cery fast. Then problems started we moved in together and saturn in scorpio everything broke up ugly. Saturn in saggi my ascendant has been extra hard becouse squares all my stellium in pisces. I have learnt a lot about myself, self-knowledge and my Values and many things.. I just think after all the havoc and crumbling of structuresnin my life I will rebuilt with this new awareness. I am an Optimist at Heart! I believe in Magic and Love!! Even if saturn has shown me so much shadow and pessimism in myself and others.. all that is behind me. I just need someone who understand me in a very deep level.. and keep on with my dreams!! I have many talents and habilities, I am a lawyer and very psychic, I think I just needed to see many things formyself

  6. YOU CREATED ORACLE CARDS?!?!?!?!

    You are a Queen! Seriously just stop and appreciate your amazing self!

    And these lines?

    ‘Last I heard, you were married at Burning Man and living in Mexico

    I said to my friend Paul “Do you think I should say Something?” ‘

    Well i frqing love them. Mind you, i like Bukowski’s poetry for exactly the same reason, which is the sudden poignant and marvellous context of the environment.

    Am so curious about your Saturn placements, because under the duress of Saturn you wordsmith like a boss.

  7. Saturn tends to show you what you don’t need to carry with you (attitudes, sides of your personality or peeps) by isolating you and throwing it / them in your face.
    And when it is about to leave and move to the next level, it makes sure you don’t forget about it.

  8. Woohoo!!!! Great to hear you realised you are not even on that level anymore with that scumbag!

    Last days of Saturn in sag has been huge for meeee… still incoming all this information re my career and my image as sagg is my tenth house!

    I cared so much for recognition and power… I realise the closer I got to it… ahh I don’t want it!! Not in the way that I thought it could fulfill me. I recognise now I have worked long to get the skills and experience I have now
    But career is just not a massive focus for me. Not as much as my spiritual journey that I am on and also a love for the performing arts! How long I’ve disowned this part of me.. is just ridiculous.. and I am just realising now…

        • Mainly Saturn in 10th. I also have Neptune conjunct my sun – so dreams came true in terms of career. But also Mars was transiting my 9th house where my natal venus Libra is – so studying art full time. The last time Saturn was in Scorp I had just finished high school and was studying as well. It’s interesting to keep track of and reflect on cycles.

          I’d also look at what’s aspecting MC (midheaven)

          There were probably other factors too. Just can’t remember them all right now. It just felt very destined and that the stars were aligned. It was something I use to dream about ever since I could remember.

        • oh yeah… and Neptune was (and still is) transiting my 2nd house (earned income / values etc) and trining my Sun /Neptune in 10th. It’s not even exact yet and now Jupiter is in my 10th. And soon Saturn on my Asc. More to come. 😀

          I worked bloody hard for it though. Gave up and awful lot to achieve my goal. Saturn would expect no less.

  9. Ugh, so ready for this last exit of Saturn. Question to MM or amazingly knowledgeable subscribers: which is more intense, Saturn in your Sun sign or Saturn Return? I was under the impression that it was Saturn Return, but all the articles re: how Saturn is for Sags right now makes me think it’s the Saturn in Sun thing…

    • Saturn Return is more like a generational rite of passage that occurs to everyone at about the same age – like Uranus Opposition and Chiron Return….

      Saturn in your sign is slightly different…BOTH are equally intense…Will do a post on it at some point soon as it is a good question. There is also quite a lot of discussion and info on this in the astro school

      • Thanks MM! I’ve been meaning to email you this question for a while (since Saturn entered Sag lol). I truly feel for people like my younger sister who just did Saturn in her Sun sign and is about to enter her Saturn return. xo

        • If it’s any help – I had saturn return in libra followed by saturn return in my sun sign scorpio. I swear I didn’t notice it at all in either ! – but then once it went into sag and started squaring and conjuncting my stuff it was INTENSE. So maybe check out the saturn related transits too! X

            • Experienced my first Saturn return. While Saturn was in my sun. A storm like no other. I was pushed so hard I can’t even fathom what I left behind. But I mourn her.

            • Because Saturn is TIme and Duties, Rules of the Earth and Daily Obligations that might get us somewhere if done right.

              …the world we live in. The Earth, with its gravity, and Society, with its…um, gravity.

              Which we wish we could transcend! I think we feel safe away from all that, but perhaps it keeps us safe from our ungrounded selves, and half attempts to fly. Great Keeper! But Bastard anyway. (Like being sent to the Principal’s office, of Life.)

              Boy, has that happened to me!!!

    • I don’t know about that So Mutable. I can tell you that – in my experience – some planet handle the tough angles of Saturn much better than others, whether it’s a Saturn return or not.

    • It really depends on many factors.

      I had the time of my life during my Saturn return. But being Saturn ruled (Cap Asc) hard work doesn’t phase me. I did take on extra responsibility at the time though. Most people would have chosen travel over a mortgage. Wise move considering the property market these days. Best decision I ever made!

      Saturn in Scorp wasn’t too bad personally – lots of hard work pursuing art dreams (natal sun in 10th).
      But the recent Chiron return. Far out. That was hardcore!! Worst transit ever! So much hurt, sadness and crying.

      Worst trans(h)it #2 was Saturn on my venus in Libra back in 2013. I was single for a long time and felt old and washed up.
      Saturn or Pluto on one’s moon is pretty foul too.

      Finally started feeling cautiously optimistic about the future this week as things on the work / money front are moving rapidly and I’m getting glimpses of what my life will look like once Saturn moves into Cap. Think I’ll just be exhausted from work but I don’t mind. Been living like a pauper the last few years and the thought of having money again is pretty hard to resist.

      • Scorpy, i know it could be a stand-off Fixed Sign Scorp to Fixed Sign Scorp in how you feel about it, but since our scorpy here was the first we got to know, could you consider changing your moniker? Just so the rest of us know which is which?

        You’ve got the word-skills, so it would be appreciated, right?

        • the words are mine, the Gravatar isn’t. I keep signing in with different emails cos i’m not happy with the auto-gravs but I think i’ll settle for the splat above. Wish it was green though. LOL.
          My chart is half fixed / half mutable. Gem NN and Mars in Virgo – I’m all about the trivial details. LOL.

            • Yes I could, and I have in the past but stumbling across my comments on posts from years ago makes me cringe.
              I’ll have a think about it. Lol

                • Feel like mine lately make me look nuts. I’m changing attitudes every few hours or so!

                  Stressed, and over-tired, and trying to make nice in the day-to-day. Ah well. Just have to own the cringe.

                • I cringe about the over sharing. Ugh . My Scorp sun is forever berating my Saggo moon “what did you say that for.????” LOL. Honestly, it’s hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes.

                • Ok, I’m gonna blame Uranus square Mars square Merc opposed Uranus, then.

              • PF, I recall you saying once (maybe several times lol) that you have no filter. I’m the same. Uranus squares my moon. People always know how I feel. It’s a blessing and a curse. LOL.

                • Uran is also conjunct my 2H Merc both Sq my SD Jup. Seriously, it’s out before I’ve thought it up.

                • i have 8 aspects to my Mercury. Merc square mars, Square Saturn, opposite jupiter, conjunct Neptune, sextile pars of fortune, semo-sextile to MC, Quintile Uranus and Pluto (there’s no topic I’m afraid to discuss).
                  Not all aspects are strong but still, there’s a lot going on there.

                  I’ve always wished I had a talent for writing, but i think that’s my venus in Libra in 9th house

                • So is Mercury your biggest planet?

                  Merc supports Uran in mine. Uran, Pluto and Moon are equal 2nd in mine.

                • how do you know what’s the biggest? Most aspected?

                  I don’t feel mercurial in any way. I think Saturn is my “biggest” planet.

                  I feel more Saturnine – I’m a grumpy cat. Saturn is my ruler and Sun in the 10th house adds to the flavour. And Plutonian too. I have Mars, Uranus & Pluto in 8th house. My signature is Neptune conjunct Sun, just 4º off.

            • The thing with gravatars is that it links to your (I.e. my) wordpress account therefore blog, at least it downturn last time I tried about 5 years ago lol, and I ain’t ready for that jelly.

          • and also… my ancient scottish ancestors (and my) motto du jour:

            Dulcius ex asperis

            (Sweeter after difficulty)

            Getting it in a tattoo in 2018!

          • Oh i totally thought you were annoyed at a separate person! That Mercurial dialogue you’re having with yourself? Haha, sorry, i was tricked and confused 🙂

            Glad it’s only you. There were sometimes random commenters using names already on here.

        • $$ $$ signs in my eyes – as wide as saucers. Lol!

          I’ve started spending already (Saggo moon trine venus Libra), knowing I’ll have money coming soon to cover it.
          I need to look pretty schmick for work. So very Saturn in Cap on my Asc :))

    • My Saturn return (in Scorpio and conjunct my moon) was brutal but very needed, I like there’s less emotional baggage because it all got dredged up during that time. I had no idea about Saturn returns at the time I just thought I was going crazy because I was miserable and crying almost every day (I also had my son during that time and then went through breaking up with his dad), it’s kind of funny in retrospect but I was questioning so much and so lost feeling. I’ve also had Pluto transiting my asc./first house since about that same time so it was really intense.
      Since then I’ve just been working really hard, lots of changes, lots of demands, a few times I was being pushed so hard I wanted to quit/run away and do something less challenging, and now I feel this sense of being on the other side and entering a new era for sure (I’m also Pisces Sun/Cap rising so those are both affected by the Saturn in Sag – Cap if I’m understanding MM’s horoscopes correctly).

  10. I finally decided to block (on all mediums) the younger/star crossed lovers/married off to keep him away from inappropriate women/from an opposing culture lover. For his own good. He’s never going to leave me alone(sounds arrogant but I know it) – but he’s also never going to have the backbone to make choices his family doesn’t approve of. He appeared with Saturn and now he’s exiting with Saturn – whether he knows it or not lol. And I am totally fine with that – time to move on in classic Saggi style 🙂

  11. Wow wow wow…I went through a similar situation with that same timing of him coming to my life and same bizarrely prolonged shell-shock given the time it lasted and the clear character misalignment. Up to this point I haven’t had the big “run-in,” which is strange since we only live a few blocks apart. I’ve been grateful for that, but it sounds like it gave you some great realizations.

    I had not even thought of the Saturn timing of it all. Here’s hoping the shift into Capricorn lifts a burden for us both. <3

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