Ask Mystic: Getting Over A Sexy Scorp

Filed in Scorpio, Ask Mystic

Dear Mystic,

I’ve never done this but your horoscopes and blogposts are so insightful (seriously, I’ve got my 2018 key dates pinned down and I’m ready to rumble!) so I thought I would ask about getting out of a love rut.

Over the Thanksgiving weekend I went ahead and made a move on my sexy Scorp crush. It was nerve-wracking (I’m a Leo, Aqua rising, Libra Moon) and I usually need to work up the courage to tell someone I like them. Anyway, they seemed to respond enthusiastically – or at least they matched my enthusiasm – and much sexy club kissing ensued… until the end of the night, when he broke the news that he is not single.

Mystic, I felt like a complete goober. Worse, WE BOTH tried to play it cool – like, it all happens for a reason, and you never know what will happen in the future, and what happens in X town stays in X town. I totally let him feed me the line, and now, two weeks later, I’ve managed to get out of the fantasy land enough to smell the bad news – he’s just not that into me. 

(I mean, he said he crushed on me, too, but if he didn’t work up the guts to say something he clearly isn’t a good fit; he’s probably not that into his girlfriend either, if he jumps at the chance to kiss his crush. It’s all stupid and frustrating.)

I don’t know when the Venus-Neptune trine started or what Mercury was doing that particular weekend but I can totally see how that might have influenced my mood after. I’ve been super-distracted, scatterbrained and wishing that I could JUST pull my head out of my arse long enough to focus on my work and forget about him. But it’s not working. 

I’m doing the distancing thing – no contact, hide him on social media (mostly for my sake – I don’t want to suddenly see mushy pictures of him and his gf or posts about how much he loves her; I had that happen when I crushed on a Virgo dude and I’m still cringing at that). I also ordered “He’s Just Not That Into You” to try and really drive through the point. But my head is still in some kind of dreamland, and I spend more time fantasizing about ‘what ifs’ than I ought to. I doubt he is spending a 10th of the time I am thinking about me, so why should I do the same? 

Sorry if that sounds completely ridiculous.

The Cowardly Lion

Can I also PS that I feel terrible for his girllfriend and that I’m sure this relationship karma will bite me in the arse? I hate how selfish I’ve been in my thoughts and this is really unfair to her.

Dear Cowardly Lion,

So you have been stricken with the Love Zombie virus – there are SO many posts on here about that condition and with some epic cures suggested also. Here, for what is worth are my thoughts. I’m so excited by this that i am going to bullet point. (“bullet points” = a state of cognitive arousal for Mercury in Aries people).

# I am an Aqua Rising/Libra Moon and i get that. Sometimes you won’t know until years later that the Air predominant person had the hots for you. Cool Air is the auto setting. Breezy.  With the occasional tornado but the Air temperament is typically sanguine.

# Thanksgiving was Mars-Uranus – you’re Aqua Rising and thus Uranus Ruled. Sudden onset nightclub pashing totally fits the bill. Even the out-of-town nature of this. Question: If you’re on social media, you MUST have known about this g.f previously right? Like this seems like it was a long-nursed crush and you are now having to avoid his social feeds for fear of being nauseated/guilty/annoyed by pics of him with the potential Mrs Scorpio BUT you did not notice her before????

# Obviously this person IS into you – at least physically and clearly he is not super-insanely committed to his partner. These are just facts. So it is not absolutely irrational of you to have experienced his reciprocal lust and be thinking of him further. This is not like you mis-reading the intentions of the parking officer giving you an infringement notice. Clearly there is chemistry and the time for HIM to mention the girlfriend would have been right as you made your move.  You know, “I’m really flattered but actually, i am seeing Scorpella” or whatever.

# Without knowing all the details of your astro or his, it was in the zone of Mercury Retrograde. So you can’t necessarily count him out till mid-Jan, when Mercury gets back to this point. Doubtless now, you are alternating between Saturn gloomy guilt-tripping about the whole thing and Uranian glee – this could happen. This is the nature of the current Mercury energy – the Messenger God is flipping between Saturn and Uranus consciousness, with some Neptune in there for extra weirdness.

# My Prescription – keep your own energies clear re this. If Scorpio became single, would you actually want him? Would you want to be the new Mrs Scorp and then wave him out the door cheerfully as he scuttles off to go, um, clubbing with his friends? If he IS your, you know, soul-betrothed across-the-aeons love interest, a few weeks won’t hurt and it will happen, one century or another. Treat social media stalking as your kryptonite, capable of mortally weakening your super powers.  Sage/Burn Palo Santo/Go to Hot Yoga & strengthen your psyche at the core.

# Prediction: he will hove back in again around Xmas Time or shortly after. Scorpios are ALL about the expansion in 2018 (Jupiter) so it depends on whether hooking up with you on a more formal basis would be seen as a Growth Move or not.

What does everyone else think?

Image: Inez & Vinoodh

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Sizzlecat
Sizzlecat

Oh the getting over a sexy scorp dilemma… how I would like to say that I’ve never been there. I once had an ultra-hot, movie-like (friends I told about it said it sounded like a movie) weeklong fling with a Scorp guy who was in town and talked me into meeting him. Cue instant chemistry, etc. After several steamy evenings he literally leaves my bed at 3am to catch a flight out of town, and I don’t hear from him again for months, I’m trying not to social media stalk and failing miserably, then he randomly texts me to wish… Read more »

QuellpunktMM Member
Quellpunkt

Your experience reminds me of one I had years ago. I went to a party and ended up kissing the cute drummer from the band playing. I sought the band out in another venue, exchanged numbers with the guy, and we set up a date. Had dinner, and afterwards in the parking lot, he said, sorry, I’m seeing someone. Ummmm ok, what was the point of the date then? My thought was exactly, he’s just not that into me, and made up the “seeing someone” excuse to turn me down. Or, I’ve known people who date casually and could have… Read more »

Sizzlecat
Sizzlecat

leo rising/libra moon here… agreed! immediate adoration preferred… XD

davidlMM Member
davidl

There are no ‘single’ scorpios. Not if you include baggage from days long past. If you ever sneak a look in that baggage it contains both severed heads and voodoo dolls, freshly pierced daily. So which one do you want to be ? A severed head or a voodoo doll ?

fishgirlMM Member
fishgirl

love it!

PiMM Member
Pi

Yeah it did occur to me, do Scorpios ever actually break up with people?

Scorpy
Scorpy

Of course we do!! But then I have Saggo moon square Uranus, so it happens suddenly after weeks or months of weighing up of pros and cons (venus Libra). And they always get a farewell statement. Unlike the Pisceans who disappear without even a polite “it’s been nice knowing you…”

The ones we loved remain in our hearts forever though. I’m sure that’s the case with most signs right?

ScorpintheSkyMM Member
ScorpintheSky

No way peeps. I’m 40 and since adulthood have always been single. My most significant, transformative relationships have always been friends. I don’t even have a suitcase let alone one with weird heads in it.

davidlMM Member
davidl

Any hand puppets ?

dark starMM Member
dark star

I’m crying. So true from a scorp xx

dark starMM Member
dark star

Maybe just bc of the neptunian vibes I have too but I swear the severed heads are only if you draw the scorpy wrath. I have exes that I’m on cordial terms with there’s just a few head/ voodoo doll individuals and they KNOW it 😉

Lux Interior Is My Co-PilotMM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

Stay strong! Burn that sage!

dark starMM Member
dark star

IMHO you only attract anything that is a reflection of yourself, something that might need to be healed in the subconscious (including inherited family wounds). Is there some aspect of yourself that doesn’t own your true feelings or goes outside for external validation? maybe your relationship with your dad had some distance, even just at one stage of childhood. Journal it out, get to the root! Please know I’ve had this happen many times so I GET it viscerally – it’s so confusing when there is mutual attraction but with complications. It’s less about the dude (neutral)and more about what… Read more »

Ellie MMM Member
Ellie M

This is very true….frustrating but true. Complications in attractions and relationships almost always trace back to family dynamics. You could have wonderfully caring and kind parents for example, but there could have been a point during your formative years (1-7) when one or both of your parents were going through a rough patch (which is totally understandable given how tough it is to adjust to parenthood), and could have inadvertently neglected you in ways. Certain moments or experiences can scar a child in ways which years down the line result in some unfortunate relationship habits. All very head wrecking to… Read more »

dark starMM Member
dark star

Right! Every parent has personal struggles and even if you don’t pick those up there’s always things from yours peers and society

12th House VirgoMM Member
12th House Virgo

Whatever power and intensity you feel from what you perceive to be him is yours. I know being in LZ mode feels completely out of your power but it is, in the end, your power. Enjoy the feels and the fantasy because YOU are that sexy and he is …well, sounds like an ass.

Ellie MMM Member
Ellie M

I second this! Sounds like a lot of projection going on here. The names need to be interchanged to ‘Cowardly Scorp’ and ‘Sexy Lion’!!!

PiMM Member
Pi

Love both of these comments!

emgMM Member
emg

It could be my age and the fact I’ve got the T shirts for most things but I say…
Put this one down to experience, you had a good snogging session and move on. Let the guys run about after you. Watch the way courting birds behave!
He sounds too dull to contemplate to me.

dark starMM Member
dark star

Yeah

LaFemmaMM Member
LaFemma

Scorpio men respect and admire strength and character. I would find a new crush post-haste, and continue being your bad-ass self while blocking him out, knowing it will drive him nuts on some level as he is definitely into you (but not enough to dump his gf).

Scorpio_RisingMM Member
Scorpio_Rising

exactly.

VirgonatorMM Member
Virgonator

I echo those who point out that if someone lies once they’ll lie again and what is the point of being with someone you can’t trust?

Find something else exciting to do in your life. Whether that’s pursuing someone else or climbing a mountain or seeing a concert with some female friends…. just something that gets you excited about you and your life. Remembering you deserve hot makeout sessions *and* honesty.

milleunanotteMM Member
milleunanotte

Could be hot sex? She’d go there over mountain-climbing, maybe? 😉

VirgoStellium
VirgoStellium

The only person I’ve ever zombied out on was a Scorp. We were in a relationship, then it ended. Still dream about him. Damn Scorpios, why they so hot?

Suddenly Leo
Suddenly Leo

Guuuuurl, NO! MM is right – do you even want someone who doesn’t make you #1? You’re his that-was-fun-no-one-needs-to-know girl, not his sun-rises-and-sets-with-her girl. And would you want someone who might sneak out and cheat on you when you’re away?! Eff that! You can do better!

Get on a dating app, set up a bunch of juice dates or coffees or cocktails or whatever you do. Remind yourself that you are desirable and don’t need to be second- or third- or whatever-place.

PiMM Member
Pi

This was my soundtrack when I was drowning in covert um attraction to the outdoorsy multi-scorp – https://youtu.be/YeawPUpTHJA.

PiMM Member
Pi

(It was a while ago 🙂 )

milleunanotteMM Member
milleunanotte

Think my late stages of marriage covered Black Cherry, so i think musically different, but i watched this and noted the wolves in suits! Silly in the clip, but …

…WOOF!…if i saw one really.

Have to admit i ignore wolf-lookers in suits only because i know they’re following a sexy image rather than actually being one. But only a Piscean would have found a live Outdoorsy Multi-Scorp, in the urban wild. OMG you must have had a gorgeous time!

PiMM Member
Pi

yes… it was outside the city, he has a fearless soul and also caring and very interesting and fun. unfortunately (for me) was already with someone by the time I got to know him, I think for a while it was a bit of “I wonder…” , funny though, as his r’ship was probably strengthening (they’re still together, she is an upstanding member of the sisterhood), I was also growing out of the desire to just shag him no matter what. It was post-neptunian-Toro and I’d be damned if I had to settle for crumbs again by putting myself in… Read more »

PiMM Member
Pi

I do really like him as a human – the vibe is of a lunar connection – I feel (felt, I guess, don’t see him these days) safe around him but never ever like my world would shrink, someone who is open to change and experience.

Ellie MMM Member
Ellie M

This post really resonates with a situation I’m currently in. Met a Venus in scorp guy a few weeks ago, lots of interest and pursuit from him, but he has gone cold the past week. He tells me he is single, but his social media profile pic suggests otherwise. I know there’s something off about all of this, and know the best thing is to move on forget about it, but the intrigue and intensity of the initial few weeks makes it hard to forget about! I’ve had the tendency to attract Scorpio drama in my relationships (Pluto in scorp… Read more »

milleunanotteMM Member
milleunanotte

Yeh, emotions, sense of potential for love (within yourself) and beautiful intrigue are all good things in life. You need not forget those: just work on morphing them into beautiful good good stuff for YOU, and recognising them as signs you are sexy beautiful amazing. Take time! And do it your way. If you can regulate reactions, behaviours and all the stuff that has real consequence, then all the best. But really, some of us learn by the hard yards, and step in where fools only dare. Those of us are not angels, and we berate ourselves for it, but… Read more »

fishgirlMM Member
fishgirl

just checking this is me

JacquiMM Member
Jacqui

Ohhh memories, I crushed on a loosely attached and just travelled back via my charts and BOOM Pluto on my natal neptune 10th H and a bunch of outer planets at the border of 11-12 H. Oh I pined and drew cryptic artworks. I was in a spiral of delusional thought and thought and thought until “fuq it! this is tragic” slap (not literally) cleared the air. I still look at those images and remember how I was played. I dreamt about looking for him, but he was always “busy”, for a decade. Love makes us soft, well me at… Read more »

JokermanMM Member
Jokerman

Why are you bothering with him? He obv doesn’t care for her and that indicates he wouldn’t care for you. Simple.

PiMM Member
Pi

I think I’m adding my vote to this. Hot makeout night : tick . Hunky b/f material:
Got a long way to go. Indulge the fantasy of the vibes overwhelm (Scorpio so you know) but don’t let it occupy your Hot Awesome Leo Life. Easy to say though!
OMG! Also do not ‘feel bad’ that you cracked onto him and you are evil other woman. You actually literally didn’t know he was with someone. Venus in Aries says enjoy it for what it was, a hot night with an opportunistic Scorpio. Anything beyond that is not your problem 🙂

PiMM Member
Pi

And if he was running a line on you and is single and didn’t want to go further, there is no amount of analysis that will unravel that without driving you insane 🙂 and or making you unhappy. Free the lion. Find another meaty gazelle to devour 🙂

milleunanotteMM Member
milleunanotte

Yes, chiming in with support here! Do NOT feel bad! You enjoyed the hots, and with a Scorpio!

Just remember you had to send an Ask Myst about it, and remember what it showed you about the deeper emotions, and your need to get it confirmed. When it’s love (even for the afternoon or a few gorgeous hours somewhen), you never need to ask anyone else what it was all about.

Ellie MMM Member
Ellie M

Simple yet wise words Milleunaotte! Having to ask for advice = not real love/interest. I need to try remind myself of that more often!!

milleunanotteMM Member
milleunanotte

Well, hey asking for thoughts to get a perspective is a good thing! There’s never a reason to be silent when you want to know. But also, if you can’t broach it with the person themselves, you gotta pay attention to your own wording: how does my question and framing show what is really bothering me? After all, really great relationships can go through tough times, now and again. So i’m not advocating silence. But your own wording will show whether it’s an issue that needs attention, or the whole connection you’re calling into question. Just want to put that… Read more »

PiMM Member
Pi

Love your last line too.

Leo-Scorp GrrrlMM Member
Leo-Scorp Grrrl

Agree . Actions, not words. He lacks boundaries and now you know that. It may not help turn off the LZ effect but keep that in mind when you think you want to e-stalk.

Scorpio_RisingMM Member
Scorpio_Rising

you dodged a bullet. avoid at all costs. Your lack of interest will drive him nuts.

marsbar
marsbar

Upvote this! If you manage to land this guy you’ll be the next chick he cheats on with someone else at the club…

Scorpio_RisingMM Member
Scorpio_Rising

exactly. Been there, done that. He is player mode. avoid at all costs.

LaurelMM Member
Laurel

You made a move on a Scorpio???? o.O Kudos. That’s more bravery than I would be able to muster. Oh how terrifying. Practice on gadabout Geminis first or free living Sag. But a Scorp? *faints*
You do realise the cooler you are to him the more he will pursue you? Eventually anyway. This is not finished.

HoudiniMM Member
Houdini

Hmm, nightclub, Thanksgiving… Was there alcohol involved?… just sayin’!…. Cause that will bring down the Neptune house on you in no time! And so many relationships come full cycle in one single night of inebriation – from yearning and infatuation, to consummation, to the fated “argument in the Ikea parking lot” denouement. Sometimes the life span of an affair is 45 min.

milleunanotteMM Member
milleunanotte

They’re almost the best ones! Clarity in an afternoon, and no more fqing about, wondering and wasting your precious time. Just sweet delicious bitter feely-feels to process.

If and when that’s what you need 🙂

davidlMM Member
davidl

Yes, Don’t cwy baby, we will always have 9:30 -11pm. But it’s now 1am and when it’s over it’s over, ummm what was your name again ?

S
S

As a fellow Aqua Riser I totally get your situation. You don’t mean to have this happen it just does.
Lust ruffles your feathers and so one must let the kundalini dance about from time to time.

The guilt is natural because there was deception, to yourself and Ms GF. Soulful empathy for Ms GF is reasonable. He has not yet grown into someone able to be deal with his emotional landscape.

I sure do feel there is a second chance love vibe humming about, just make sure you can deal with any fall out.

MissDeeMM Member
MissDee

I am a sucker for romance, as I don’t have any and I am a Neptunian. I tend to see the best, but I am also a Virgo rising with Moon in Taurus so I’d follow Mystic advice to the letter. Mercury is Retro so this off/on thing is a fact with Mercury doing his Retro Mojo. And if he’s into you (which I believe he is, at least at a phisical level) a few weeks away from each other (I know, I know, why can’t it be fine from the first moment and let you enjoy it now?) cannot… Read more »

scorpiodawnMM Member
scorpiodawn

bloody scorpios…

davidlMM Member
davidl

Glad you are remembering one of the unspoken rules of the blog.. ‘present company excluded’ or PCE. 😉

Unicorn SparklesMM Member
Unicorn Sparkles

The reality will deposit a giant nuke right in the centre of the fantasy.

You know it.

12th House VirgoMM Member
12th House Virgo

Word

Annabelle
Annabelle

Yuck! no thanks. If he’s kissing you THENNNNNNNNNNN mentions, ‘Oh, I have a girlfriend 😎 ”

He will do the same to you. Is that what you reaaaaaaaaaally want?

Think about it.

Do you reaaaaaaaaally want someone who causes so much confusion for you and then who knows what hes up to when he’s out the door

And it sounds like he’s not even a little remorseful. He sounds crazy.

milleunanotteMM Member
milleunanotte

Yeah Mystic is being compassionate and generous when she says, “you can’t count him out,” and, “this could happen”. To both of them!

I’d say, if it does re-happen, Lady Lion will have a lot of boundary establishing and creeping suspicions to put wholehearted efforts into very early on, and that would probably hurt a lot as the scorp club-kissin guy runs for the hills (hopefully, otherwise it’ll be passive power play all the way.)

Yaiza Marrero
Yaiza Marrero

exactly it is a pattern, and he cant break it just in two weeks.. to bet on that is not a good bet. if he ever changes it is going to be long after all this is over

dark starMM Member
dark star

“I don’t see myself as married” “I don’t really see myself making out in a club with my crush” the crypto dating strikes again!

Venusian8MM Member
Venusian8

#like

judithMM Member
judith

in these kinds of instances where i feel confused,i ask myself,do i REALLY want to be with someone who stirs up so much confusion? am i naturally confused or in swamp territory. if i am able to get sober long enough to let the first chakra die down,it shortly turns up that i am not that into a guy who gets to TAKE his cake,shove it in his mouth and try to pretend he never ate it. or something like that. fuck him is the short answer.

milleunanotteMM Member
milleunanotte

Wow, referencing Chakras and Cake wolfing simultaneously, strikes my Saturn Taurus 6th, very much. (Hate cake, but know others adore it to the point of addiction, and am ‘blessed’ with the appetites, as well, with Jupiter Sagittarius.)

Yaiza Marrero
Yaiza Marrero

I love it the way you say it. Yes: SOBER. For me it is a matter of character: soneone that does that does not deserve my attention, or Love, not at all. Once I am Sober (again) I just see clearly and decide. And I stick to my decision. This guy is an asshole, and unless you are cool with him doing in the future the same he did to his gf I say block him.

GG
GG

Classic move. Met scorpio. Hooked up. Found out he had a gf two days later. They broke up and ex gf moves to east coast. We date for months. He goes cold. He decides he can’t get a job in our area. Moves to east coast. Two years later he reaches out. We talk a lot and he never mentions any love. Suggests we go out when he is back in town. Find out from my own stalking that he married the original ex gf above. I block him on all media / phone / email and moved on. Best… Read more »

Scorpio_RisingMM Member
Scorpio_Rising

not cool.
Scorpios that want their cake and to eat it too. In this case several cakes.

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