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The “Women Of Scorpio” – Another Vintage Sexist Astrology Competition To Win!

Filed in Astro Gaga

What if just being an “oomph girl” with a vile temper WAS really appealing to men? The disembodied heads are freaky. Is our Lady of Scorpio a Voodoo Priestess?  You can win one of the prizes below (announced on Tuesday) by riffing off this image and concept in any way you like: a “Women Of Scorpio” story, your own Scorpio temper/”male appeal” anecdote or a god, anything really.

The prizes are below and i look forward to perusing your contributions in the comments!

Two years of Mega Mystic – access to the Horoscopes, Oracle, 12 Card Instant Tarot read (and soon, our second Tarot), the Daily Mystic email and Astro-Scheduler – for 24 months.

The magical Mercury Key Ring – opener of doors and inspirer of eloquence!

The Wealth Wallet – designed with as much alchemy, geomancy, Feng Shui & abundance symbolism as one super practical item can take.  Vegan Wallet Update: the prototype is being couriered to me next week. As this will be in cork material, it is important to see if it is actually sturdy enough to “hold” all of the WW features, the jasper zip thingie, the Qi coins etc. But…it’s progressing.

 

Access Horoscopes, Insta-Tarot, Oracle and More

All Access Membership – This is not a recurring payment – you are not locked in.

Email Mystic if you would like to trial for a few weeks first.

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Ceibagirl
Ceibagirl
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Can I just add one more for the fun of it…because it screams Scorpio Woman to me. I have Pluto in the 1st conjunct my Ascendant and I resonate with this song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHWhzS0zdOc

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November 9, 2017 5:36 am
Mystic
Mystic
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LOVE these….Thank you! The three winners – this time – are Wendy Michele for the 24 month Mega Mystic, Dark Star for a Mercurial Key Ring and MoonInThe12th for the Wealth Wallet….Please email so we can set this up and thank you to everyone for the wit and the whimsy once again!

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November 7, 2017 2:47 pm
mooninthe12th
mooninthe12th
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In a most recent Neptunian daze, something triggered her to take a trip down memory lane. Nostalgia would often cause her to drift off and visit the realm of past lives. In town to visit family for the holidays, passing through brought on visions of her awkward adolescence and the cast of characters in it. A feeling of repressed rage and resentment overcame her at the thought of the men who would fail to respect her power and reduce her to a mere sex thing. She was undoubtedly beautiful and voluptuous with a mysteriously intense personality to match…all ingredients that… Read more »

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November 7, 2017 3:43 am
mooninthe12th
mooninthe12th
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Blah poor editing…ignore that poor run on paragraph…forgot to break it up 🙂

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November 7, 2017 3:52 am
sphinx
sphinx
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Interesting evolution of the self, a bit sad too and It makes you want to know what happens next in her journey to understanding her humanity!

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November 7, 2017 10:43 am
mooninthe12th
mooninthe12th
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I want to know what happens next, too but it is an adventure I am still writing. 🙂 I forgot to mention how good a man she realized Joe really was and had she worked on things with him, perhaps it all would have gone different. I don’t think she would have truly discovered herself though. And Clint, ooh boy. For a brief moment, after finding out that horrid news, she saw red and sat in her car and screamed so loud the gods above and below heard. She thought of giving him a piece of mind, that’s for sure.… Read more »

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November 7, 2017 11:13 am
LaFemma
LaFemma
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One of my best friends is a Scorpio, she’s a triple black-belt in karate, certified lifeguard, plays multiple instruments, took calculus in university for the “easy” grades, and had a job at 28 that mid-career doctors typically do. She was dating a fellow karate student (who was dreamy and is now an architect) when we were in high school and admitted to using some of the karate on him during drunken fights. In university during a single phase she lamented to me that no matter how hot a guy was, she could have them if she made a pass at… Read more »

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November 7, 2017 3:00 am
S
S
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The concept of shags through the scopes for all it’s titular appeal had failed to serve her well. Misunderstood, mistaken and millions of eyes and yet still she could not find satisfaction. Was it the watery appeal of Mummy issues that drove them to her bosom? Her contemplation was always running and that lead her to fateful choices. She was seen as someone who could please and she was a tease when the desire did strike. Deep down she wanted to be loved but didn’t know how to forgive herself. Her legend grew beyond anything she could control and she… Read more »

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November 6, 2017 9:15 pm
sphinx
sphinx
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Poetic S, it feels like water is running through the words as you read.

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November 7, 2017 10:35 am
S
S
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Thank you sphinx.
Lamenting over my closeness and unfortunate endings.
It is a cathartic and romantic view under the influence of many moon lit nights spent seaside.

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November 7, 2017 8:48 pm
mooninthe12th
mooninthe12th
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This resonated very strongly with me.

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November 7, 2017 12:21 pm
S
S
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Thank you mooninthe12th – incredible creatures that are intelligent, kind, passionate and dipped in a little danger.

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November 7, 2017 8:56 pm
Jokerman
Jokerman
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Starring Olga Kurylenko.

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November 7, 2017 12:47 pm
S
S
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I see your “bond” with Olga continues Mr Powderfinger

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November 7, 2017 8:52 pm
Jokerman
Jokerman
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My closest relationship.

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November 7, 2017 9:29 pm
HellaHeka
HellaHeka
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They just wish they could get with her/ understand her. Scorp chicks are nothing to be controlled! Go Madame Scorp for telling those sexist guys to eff off. Not like they would be very good in bed, anyway. Scorp girls need a man who can last, but who can also go for depth as she needs to transform again and again and again. These asshats can take it though. There is just something about her. She is so sexy and they can’t figure out why. But she will never just be their play-thing, so they gotta hate.

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November 6, 2017 5:21 pm
Mt. Kilimanjaro
Mt. Kilimanjaro
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So this story probably confirms Scorpio stereotypes more than anything. But here goes! In my teens and twenties I didn’t realize I hated myself, so instead I spent my time chasing after/dating men who would do the job for me. First in line was my college boyfriend, whom I dated my senior year after four years of exciting/irritating flirtation. It ended badly. Of course it did! I chased him so hard there was no way he could live up to my expectations. He was also an unrepentant sexist dillhole, but he was also charming, well-read, and he had amazing hair.… Read more »

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November 6, 2017 10:57 am
Sagitta
Sagitta
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Oh boy. This was a fun story –at least the way it ended! It would be nice all the drama in our lives ended like this, with apologies, friendship, a wedding, and making out.

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November 6, 2017 2:39 pm
Mt. Kilimanjaro
Mt. Kilimanjaro
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Very true.

It’s pretty funny in retrospect. Twenty-year-olds have such a built-in capacity for drama. It’s why reality shows can only have young people in them. Once you get past 35, you’re like, “I’ll just take a nap and complain about this to my therapist.”

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November 6, 2017 2:44 pm
sphinx
sphinx
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😀 So true! I relate

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November 6, 2017 10:18 pm
Alouetta
Alouetta
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Wouldn’t it??

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November 6, 2017 10:11 pm
Chrysalis
Chrysalis
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Oh goodness I love this story, and your telling of it!

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November 6, 2017 10:45 pm
davidl
davidl
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As a merc and sun aries someone telling me to ‘relax’ can mean… calm down so we can actually talk this through, great let’s talk … or it can mean ‘stand down’, Now thats definitely a micro aggression and how many of those little jabs to the belly do you want to endure ? 10 -20 ? After one I’m preparing my verbal Exocet for no.2 🙂 Or ‘relax’ can mean STFU !… It’s slapping time.

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November 7, 2017 12:08 am
Mt. Kilimanjaro
Mt. Kilimanjaro
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Yep yep yep. And when the word is consistently accompanied by an eye-roll and a condescending smirk, it’s basically a flashing neon sign that says, “Why are you dating this human pinky ring again?”

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November 7, 2017 6:51 am
Pi
Pi
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Except when it’s a double gemini csncerian with mood management issues and you have to ice them at every opportunity otherwise they drive you fuxking insane with their over entitled acts of ego reinforcement 🙂

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November 7, 2017 10:41 am
skarab
skarab
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LOL – This is great!! …. Relax Rage yeah!

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November 7, 2017 5:38 am
mooninthe12th
mooninthe12th
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Bravo! Love the slap on the face. There are times I wish I could have been so bold. “Relax” is only ok when I tell myself to do it!

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November 7, 2017 11:21 am
davidl
davidl
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This is a Pauline Hanson election poster, non ? Fits perfectly with her campaign to return Australia to the blind racism, blatant sexism and mono culture of the 50s. She is probably the most powerful woman in Australian politics, and a fine example of how feminism may have no greater enemy than women of her ilk. She is very popular with men though cause she’s obviously pretty hot 🙂

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November 6, 2017 10:06 am
Jokerman
Jokerman
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Those of your ‘own house’ are usually your worst enemies. Maybe Weinstein and Hanson could get it together? Swallow that with a croissant and indigestion.

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November 6, 2017 10:26 am
skarab
skarab
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Jeezuz davidl, you are spot ON, man! she does look like a young PH.

AND PH has a Scorpio Asc. With Saturn ON the AsC exact!

PLUS her Lilith is in Scorpio! ….

You got my vote.

(The shitty thing is that now i can’t think of my own story coz all i see is her. Yuk.)

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November 7, 2017 12:04 am
sphinx
sphinx
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Haha, can’t under it now!

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November 7, 2017 10:32 am
sphinx
sphinx
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I meant ‘unsee’ it, she really is like softer Pauline!

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November 7, 2017 10:33 am
Rubent
Rubent
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Oriane, pictured above is leaning over her satinized leather upholstered chaise lounge.. He day job is a taxidermist, but shed privately honed her own taxidermy craft and practiced upon men who crossed her. Earlier that evening she’d been on a date with a man whom, by the time the appetizers had arrived, had proved himself to be yet another bouphish* mantle piece. But Oriane was tired, not quite on her A-game to make a steamy dramatic exit and this guy wasn’t SO offensive as to give a full battered assault to her senses. However, when he’d driven her home and… Read more »

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November 6, 2017 2:10 am
Rubent
Rubent
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*bouphish – A man who tends to monologue his passion upon a female, believeing that he is relating to her.
See: excitable unconscious projections ignited by attraction or at least the most attractive ear in the vincinty

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November 6, 2017 3:06 am
Sizzlecat
Sizzlecat
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amazing

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November 6, 2017 10:10 am
Pi
Pi
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“Like a windmill blade” haha! Kind of a mortal kombat move. Nice..

Bouphish. did you make this up? It describes exactly a thing

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November 7, 2017 9:41 am
mooninthe12th
mooninthe12th
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Good bit of horror. I got chills reading it. Well done.

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November 7, 2017 11:27 am
Cappie
Cappie
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She looked in the mirror at the pathetic faces of the good boy’s club near the doorway behind her. Smiling, with their ‘too good to be true’ smiles. They reminded her of children that needed her constant attention. She was partly snarling, with innocent eyes while trying to decide what to do with them. She wanted to cut off their heads.

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November 6, 2017 1:49 am
Ninanotsosmall
Ninanotsosmall
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Mallory was a stone cold fox, known for having a voodoo vagina. When she found out the guy she was seeing kissed another woman at a party they were both at, she slashed all his tyres. After he stayed the night at hers, servicing her every desire, of course.

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November 6, 2017 12:22 am
amaranthisme
amaranthisme
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She looked over her shoulder and thought which man she would trap first. After all, its no fun being a scorpio unless there’s a heavy amount of male game.

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November 5, 2017 10:30 pm
Calidor
Calidor
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But no Scorpio fights below their weight!

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November 5, 2017 10:37 pm
Melody
Melody
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Spot on . I’m 8th house Sun Neptune Mars Mercury . Never bother with lightweights.

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November 6, 2017 9:48 am
WendyMichelle
WendyMichelle
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In the witching hour of Halloween the ghost men come calling from years gone past playing with my shallow dreams. I woke to see the echo of their faces printed on the walls and my mind quickly pushed away their endings as in true Scorpio form I had really just wanted to forget them though there was a few i would never forgive.. I ponder as the night sky grows lighter about their parting words as I have always thought of myself as kind but with a flash of my eyes I often give away my true feelings. I wish… Read more »

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November 5, 2017 10:07 pm
sagittarius
sagittarius
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I wanted to leave a comment about Scorpio women. However. They’re full of secrets. Wrapt in plastic. Was Laura Palmer a Scorpio?

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November 5, 2017 7:33 pm
Calidor
Calidor
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Ah, Laura’s being a SCORPIO explains all.

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November 5, 2017 10:34 pm
Ninanotsosmall
Ninanotsosmall
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She was a Cancer: July 22, 1972 is her birthdate according to the Secret Diary of Laura Palmer 😉

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November 6, 2017 4:01 am
Ninanotsosmall
Ninanotsosmall
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She was a Cancer: 22nd of July 1972, according to the Secret Diary of Laura Palmer. 🙂

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November 6, 2017 4:04 am
Ninanotsosmall
Ninanotsosmall
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Sorry for posting twice, the comment didn’t show up at all the first time. :/

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November 6, 2017 4:06 am
Sizzlecat
Sizzlecat
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my nonbinary femme scorpio partner has quite the oomph & has had to fend off the disembodied heads of patriarchy quite often. one time they were in a train station and quite lost, but the man of whom they were asking directions to the nearest airport bus could not seem to be persuaded to yield any information as he was apparently too busy staring at their lowish-cut blue wrap shirt-clad torso. when they finally got home they exclaimed to me: I am never wearing this top again!!! … guess our scorpio gals are ill-tempered to want to move efficiently through… Read more »

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November 5, 2017 11:55 am
ScorpintheSky
ScorpintheSky
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I have a stellium in scorpio and i have never appealed to males. i wish i had’ve been. These things cant always be true

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November 5, 2017 10:16 am
Jokerman
Jokerman
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You would’ve appealed to me…haha.

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November 5, 2017 10:51 am
ScorpintheSky
ScorpintheSky
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Thanks Powderfinger. What’s your astro-signature?

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November 5, 2017 12:23 pm
Jokerman
Jokerman
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Intense Dreamer Nutcase

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November 5, 2017 4:51 pm
Alouetta
Alouetta
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Ha!

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November 6, 2017 9:15 pm
Jokerman
Jokerman
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What hope have l?
At least I’m up front about it.

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November 6, 2017 9:23 pm
Sagitta
Sagitta
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Good for you, ScorpintheSky! I feel sure there are Scorps who have never been desired or in a relationship, and yet delude themselves into believing they’re smoking hot just because of their astro. Like you, I am a Scorp sun. But I never had a boyfriend or dated, and I married the first man who asked me. I’ve been married 30+ years and in all that time, no man has ever shown signs of wanting to have an extra-marital fling with me. So– what’s up with that, astro-fiends? Did being in 12H “drown” my Sun’s mojo? Did Neptune (conjunct my… Read more »

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November 6, 2017 6:31 am
ScorpintheSky
ScorpintheSky
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Thanks Sagitta. I am proud of my honesty. And I know a tonne of super hot people whose dearest wish is a 30 year long marriage. Straddling both things I think is key.

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November 6, 2017 10:18 am
sphinx
sphinx
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Yes I agree this forced acting sexy is not honest, it is an act. Scorpios that aren’t preoccupied with self conscious awareness of their sensuality 24/7 are normal people too. I value Scorpio cunning, keen perception and depth over churning root chakras any day lol.

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November 6, 2017 10:25 pm
dark star
dark star
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The fuquery that happens when we forget the monthly dark moon Feng Shui vagina ritual. Annoyingly batting away bodiless male apparitions like mosquitos, the ghosts of ousted conquests past.

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November 5, 2017 9:02 am
mooninthe12th
mooninthe12th
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Hah!

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November 7, 2017 11:25 am
Nan
Nan
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Why choose only one when a woman can have all three…

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November 5, 2017 7:58 am
mooninthe12th
mooninthe12th
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Simple, but true.

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November 7, 2017 11:24 am
sphinxradio
sphinxradio
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Wow, I agree with you about the freaky heads.

“These men are all dead. You’re next.” —Oomph Girl

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November 5, 2017 6:48 am
Jfk
Jfk
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She could feel them. She knew they were thinking about her. One was at home, with his wife and children secretly remembering what has transpired between them on Monday. Another was a good ol boy. Dangerously out of his depth, but she hadn’t let him know that yet. She didn’t want to spoil the innocent way he looked at her. Something always changed once she let them in further. The third was the most unattainable and yet the one that she held to the tightest. Would he return from his voyage safely? She knew he had been unfaithful since he… Read more »

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November 5, 2017 4:12 am
marsbar
marsbar
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Having an anti-fart blanket was not enough to dissuade unwanted male suitors. They pursued even more relentlessly, even as floating heads in the astral plane so they could visit her in her sleep. The men might be head over heels in love with Miss Scorpio but they know they stand no chance in defeating the croc infested moat around the villa nor the random security guards that patrolled with trained hyenas that a real visit might entail. Better to voyuer at a safe distance.

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November 5, 2017 1:29 am
LaFemma
LaFemma
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Hell hath no fury like a woman…Scorpio.

But on the lighter side (a gif I made for this):

comment image

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November 5, 2017 1:21 am
Calidor
Calidor
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As a female Scorpio, Calidor read the delightful vintage vignette above about her Scorpio sisters and seethed while she thoughtlessly transmitted lethal levels of sexiness at innocent male passersby.

It just needed a bit of a tweak to read “Scorpio women have the worst tempers BECAUSE they have the most appeal to males.”

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November 4, 2017 11:56 pm
scorpiodawn
scorpiodawn
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just wanna know more about the hecate blanket!

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November 4, 2017 9:06 pm
Jokerman
Jokerman
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Take me as l am……do anything you want to.

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November 4, 2017 8:21 pm
Pi
Pi
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There’s nothing like a dame… To project your unconscious sexually aggressive impulses on.

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November 4, 2017 7:45 pm
Starbaies
Starbaies
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Ha! Genius.

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November 4, 2017 8:10 pm
skarab
skarab
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Ain’t that the truth.

But as a great dame once said:
“A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.”
-Mae West-

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November 4, 2017 11:31 pm
Pi
Pi
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Where would we be without her 🙂

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November 5, 2017 2:51 pm
Jokerman
Jokerman
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Tied up in knots?

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November 5, 2017 4:50 pm
Charlee
Charlee
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Hanging out of the weighbridge window on a random, hot, funky afternoon all boobs, eyes (sorry Kataka moon & asc here) saying to the fella’s “your paying commercial rate to dump your domestic rubbish in that big tipper you thought was for free”. But, but…
I know what you thought but I’m thinking if you keep looking at the boobs I’m going to go you with a butter knife I have handy on the sink.

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November 4, 2017 7:09 pm
sphinx
sphinx
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Greta, hard at work on the building site shifting rocks, felt a relentless tugging on her white-lit energy shield. She sighed wearily, pushing back her damp, dark curls, as she clocked that it was time to take the head of yet another of her etheric predators. She kept the etheric heads in protoplasma in a phantasmic-fibro-cell plastic jar so they didn’t dissolve into Source code. If the more harmless predators were no longer in her life she would release their heads back to their energy fields. If Greta sensed they were really dangerous to others, she stored them in a… Read more »

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November 4, 2017 6:48 pm
Kel
Kel
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Hahaha fantastic!!! I know a few scorp sorceress’s who this could be

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November 4, 2017 7:27 pm
Alouetta
Alouetta
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Winner!

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November 5, 2017 9:04 am
Pi
Pi
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Aahhhhh

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November 5, 2017 2:50 pm
sphinx
sphinx
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Haha thx, I really enjoyed writing this 🙂

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November 5, 2017 9:54 pm
mooninthe12th
mooninthe12th
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Really quirky and fun. Well done! “Dissolve into source code” really got me…and the varying levels of predation and their consequences a la Greta. A true heroine for womankind.

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November 7, 2017 11:23 am
Mystic Medusa
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