Ask Mystic: Cusp Lovers

Filed in Ask Mystic

Hi Mystic

I’m not sure where to direct this but I had a general query for Mystic. I am a subscriber, Pisces (cancer moon, virgo rising) and it has recently come to my attention that with the exception of one relationship, all of my relationships of note have been with men on a cusp. Any cusp, I think I’ve worked my way through them all. Most recently not one but TWO men on the cancer/gemini cusp (they actually had the same birthday). I’m trying to work out whether this is because I am a Pisces and naturally attracted to people with complex layers or is it just coincidence?

 What does this mean? At this stage are we now conceding that it is a genuine pre-requisite for a relationship?

 Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Kind Regards, 

Hi KM1,

I can’t actually recall what this post was titled to link to it but somewhere in the archives is a post about how we can have runs of one sign in our life or people with a particular astrological signature. Often, it’s something dormant within our own energies that needs activating. Or, like the person here, you only seem to attract – say – Neptunians.

But here’s the thing – there IS no such thing as a “cusp”.  You are either – in the example given – a Cancer or a Gemini. The Sun is in one sign or it is in the next. I think that it’s interesting  your two “Cancer/Gemini” cusp men would both be doing Saturn transits at the moment so maybe you’re drawn to or pulling in people who are wanting to get serious about their goal-stalking and ground themselves?

Are Pisceans attracted to “people with complex layers?”  I actually think not and i am Sun-Venus conjunct in Pisces. My theory is that Pisces people crave simplicity and peace, having enough of their own complexities for everyone. And, since Saturn in Sagittarius, most Pisces people – any of the Mutable signs in fact – have an allergy to drama/zombie relationships/slippery people.


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45 thoughts on “Ask Mystic: Cusp Lovers

  1. Hi!
    I am Saggi Ascendant and sun conjunct venus in pisces. What I have noticed is I have attracted meb that felt couldnt be with me becouse there were social conventions that “banned it” sort of. I have just felt that saturn as limitations.. that I dont feel are mine. Obviouly they feel super attracted to my neptune. I have met them through work but dont understand why so many protocols. I have just decided to move on and not wait for anyone.. that after 3 months of crying very pisces style. I am the only one it seems that sees the soul mate connection. I just need someone with more water and not so much saturn and air.

  2. i was literally talking to a friend today about this! i am attracted to people born on the 14th of any month–same as me. and days in the teens in general. third decan sun signs.

  3. I would say Scorpio or Pluto on the 7th house or with the inner planets would indicate love of complexity much more than Neptune/Pisces

  4. I (Pisces sun, Scorpio moon, Neptune conj. Asc.) agree that Pisces wants sweet and simple relationships, but it’s taken me a lot of relationships to get there. I’m not unlike the poster in that I have sun trine moon in water with an earth (Cap in my case) rising sign.

    I have Venus-Uranus and Mars-Neptune aspects so I’ll always be drawn to weird, eccentric, artistic, out there guys (and they flock to me) but I’ve learned to recognize and avoid the lower types, or you know, listen to them non-judgmentally and be acquainted but not tied to them.

    I tend to attract Caps/Saturn guys (Cap rising with Saturn conjunct my MC), Scorpios/Plutonians (we notice each other right away and if we don’t become lovers we become friends), and for some reason Geminis (I have Mars and Venus in the 3rd, Gem rules my 6th house so maybe I feel compelled to serve them?).

    My best relationships are with funny, sporty guys (which usually means there is some fire in their personal planets) who are good at cooking and play an instrument or at least love music (usually they have a Neptune-Mars aspect, or something with Uranus). They have to be super loyal because I have no tolerance for cheating, and they can’t bluster without backing it up for I lose respect for them pretty fast.

    I dated a lot in the past few years after leaving my son’s father (who was a Gemini Sun, Libra moon, Virgo mars, Cancer venus) and it’s looked like:
    -Gemini (one of the more stereotypical ones women complain about, I cut him loose after a few weeks)
    -Gemini with a Scorpio moon, Cancer venus (we lasted a year, it felt like more of the same of what I had with my son’s father, like that first relationship I ended up frustrated with him, maybe the Pisces-Gem basic personality differences, he wanted a housewife and was more traditional and that is not me)

    After breaking off that relationship I committed to only dating guys I was really into and wanted to change the pattern of attracting Geminis who weren’t really good for me and I date a:

    -Scorpio with Leo rising and Mars in Pisces (realize he has too many issues and we are better as friends, I cut him loose after a couple months, we are still friends and he feels like a brother to me now, we joked when we were dating we were related because our families are so similar too, we have a karmic relationship for sure)
    -Leo with Mars in Cap (we had great communication but he seemed happier to text me than actually spend time with me so I cut it off after a few dates, then I found out he had a Gemini moon and my interest in synastry picked up haha)
    -A fling with a Libra (who works in the music industry and reminded me a bit of my son’s father as they played the same instrument and were both in philosophy, I knew I wouldn’t be happy him longterm on account of his less emotional, more intellectual way of relating, I get tired of intellectual debates)
    -Sag with Libra rising and a Virgo moon, Cap mars (we had great physical chemistry but we never clicked outside of that although we admired each other and treated each other very nicely, we dated for 4 months, he broke up with me right as I was about to do the same, he was newly divorced so I was giving him some slack, but I felt like it was a good step because he was so different from the guys before)

    And then ONE WEEK LATER (earlier than I was trying) I meet a:
    -Libra with Sag rising, Mars in Leo, Aqua moon (I consider this guy my soul mate and we both felt it right away, I’ve been so happy with him, he plays guitar and loves music as much as I do, he draws and paints, he cooks and doesn’t expect me to do all the traditional things (I am happy to do them for the most part but I can’t feel bound to doing it), he plays sports and is a big kid/clown but does exactly what he says he’ll do, no deception and no bluster. He actually reminds me of my very first boyfriend who was also a big clown,
    a big cook, who also had mars in Leo, not sure his rising sign but he was a Virgo sun who is not at all like a Virgo haha.

    I have Venus and Mars in Aries so maybe I need the fire? There are so many factors once you get really into synastry.

    • “listen to them non-judgmentally and be acquainted but not tied to them. ” yes, this is the thing!
      Venus in Aries does need some rock n roll mayhem otherwise boredom ensues. I’m with you on the funny, sporty types. Thanks for sharing your stories 🙂

      • Very welcome haha. Not much beats a sense of humor. 🙂

        I was just reading The Book of Pluto and the author, Steven Forrest, says “He or she [those with a moon-pluto aspect in their natal chart] will also radiate a very particular kind of welcoming message into the world, specifically beckoning anyone who is passing through a Plutonian period.”

        This explains so much! I have moon conjunct Pluto, and yeah, people tell me things, big things, all sorts of things that they wouldn’t otherwise I don’t think.

  5. A pattern of cusp partners probably just means you likely have something in your chart that gets pinged between 29-0 degrees. Whatever that point or planet is, you’re working on something related to it.

    I don’t get my knickers in a knot re: “cusps” at all – when I hear the word, all it lets me know is someone is born in either the extreme 3rd or 1st decans of a sign. I actually find it somewhat helpful because on the fly it can help you pin someone’s transits easier. For example, if someone were to say to me right now “I was born on the cusp of Pisces and Aries”, off the top of my head I would immediately know transiting Chiron and Saturn are/have been/will continue to be big players for them in the immediate short-term. Cusp of Aries and Taurus? Then you’re getting a lot of Uranian action. No sense in letting it become a pet peeve, especially when those born “on the cusp” may have personal planets like Mercury or Venus distributed in either/both of the signs in question, thus potentially affecting chart weighting.

  6. I have Pisces moon, Cancer rising, and an 8th house Sun, Aqua. Yes, I have been drawn to the complex layer types, but I really can’t handle them, and often feel drained by them. Now I avoid these types but really went for them like a magnet when I was younger. I don’t have extra energy for that now.
    I feel much better around stable, grounded people, because I’m highly sensitive, myself, and do feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed or just too influenced by other people’s energy sometimes.

    As far as repeating patterns go, I’ve often drawn in other people who have Pisces Moon like I do. Some of these have been people I’ve been in romantic/sexual relationships with, and some have been housemates, and some friends.

    I also know two men on the gem/cancer cusp, with birthdays June 20th and 21st, not the same year, but just two years apart. One is a Gem with Mercury in Cancer, the other is Cancer with Mercury in Gem.
    The Gem is my former housemate and we get along famously. Love that guy!
    The Cancer is a guy I ‘sort of’ dated who is a hot mess, a really toxic person. He even knows he’s toxic and won’t get any help, therapy, etc. He feeds on the drama of that instead.

    • p.s. I forgot to say, regarding repeating astro patterns in my life, in addition to serendipitously finding other Pisces Moon peeps like me, I also have a group of friends, who are long time friends now, from uni and such, who all have an 8th house Sun, like me, even though different Sun signs. Tribe!

  7. Haha I was actually thinking about this just a few days ago. I realized, that the people, who have made the biggest impact in me and in my life – be they best friends, lovers or teen age idols – born between 13th and 16th of April. I like Aries any way but my “type” seems to be Aries with this golden angle to my Leo Sun. I’m not skilled enough to count the degree but it’s worth noticing. The next time I meet an Aries that’s born between those days, I will know in advantage, that they will lift me up to heaven and also get under my skin in a way that can hurt more than anyone else.

  8. Gemini with Virgo rising here. And this sentence totally portraits me now: “And, since Saturn in Sagittarius, most Pisces people – any of the Mutable signs in fact – have an allergy to drama/zombie relationships/slippery people.”

  9. Ahh my Capricorn force field. All except one of my major relationships and most of my long- term best friends have had birthdays with in a week of each other, their suns on my moon. Or rather my Moon-Lilith-Juno-Eros conjunction. I call them the Nolan Sisters 🙂 Currently under Pluto restructure since forever, sigh.

  10. Weighing in as a venus sun nn moon Pisces yeah I was drawn to complexity in my early-mid 20s before I figured myself out.

    My descendant is Taurus with a 7th h mars jup exact so I want a earthy (not boring) dynamic guy. Outer planet complexity+ Saturn I have enough of, thanks. I think this writer is drawn to it bc Pisces is her descendant? With Virgo rising some earth in the mix is good…

    • I hear ya! Virgo rising here so yes my descendant is in Pisces (plus I am a Neptunian) so the how low and high Neptune vibe worked for me for a while.
      But after last year’ Nept/Sat square I have decided that my earthly Moon in Taurus is gonna be on the driving seat in my relationships. No more zombies, alcohol or drug addicted or “complex” (as in “with tonnes of unresolved issues and unaware of them”) peeps EVER in my life.

  11. Hey, KM1, cusps are NOT a thing, that’s why an ephemeris gives the shift from one sign to another for every single year to the minute and second. But with so many people unsure of exact birthtimes, or maybe given an estimate, it can seem like a thing.

    But what you might find fascinating is to look at the Decans. Basically, you can divide each sign further by 10 degrees. So, first 10 degrees of Aries is the Arien decan, the next ten degrees is the Leo Decan and the last is the Sagittarian decan. Also, the late late degrees of a sign can be very powerful in consolidating the signs energies and completing lessons to prepare for the next.

    I think Kim Falconer might have stuff on it, and it could be part of AstroSchool (sorry i have not had the chance to delve and trawl there so much yet.) But you’re clearly questing, and this is great because curiosity leads down amazing paths.

    Sounds as though these are past relationships, so you need not zombie out in examining the charts of former lovers. You can reflect on characteristics then see what jumps out to answer you! Happy astro analysing.

    • Oh, one example for much younger child me was that i am a late Pisces (please don’t make any “late” jokes about Pisces and clock time!)

      I’ve often been mistaken for Fire, and am never guessed as Pisces. Plus my mother is Aquarian so i suspected often she might have got the date wrong, compounded by the fact she sometimes prepares for my birthday in entirely the wrong month, though she is consistent about the day and time of birth.

      Now i know i have lots of Fire, a strong aspected Mars, and Mercury the Communicator in Aries. And that i am definitely Piscean, but it’s a real core thing that i may not show or look like (despite Neptune in the conjunction that sits on my rising).

    • 3rd decan virgos are SO brainy and funny. A major unrequited love when I was a much younger Fish is a 19/9. He was all Libra under that Virgo skin though. No match.

    • Ive known a couple Sept 19 individuals too! But they can be very different, Ive found. One of them ended up delivering a huge soulmate experience but he was engaged and I left before causing more drama than I already had(didnt know what was happening, dont get mad at me). The other one doesnt compare to soulmate dude at all, its like comparing apples to instant ramen.

  12. Another Pisces sun/Virgo rising chiming in, I wonder how many of those cusps straddle a mutable sign or have strong mutable influence? I definitely feel like mutable people are my closest tribe, and I think it’s something to do with being okay with being a little… uh, inconsistent about things.

    Plus, there’s the seventh-house sun — partners are extra important for you, not in a “I’m-insecure-without-one” way but more like your personal identity gets involved, maybe not even in a conscious way. Does that sound right?

  13. As a Pisces Sun, Cancer Moon and Rising, I really don’t mind the complex types and I do prefer men with layers. There’s something fascinating to me about being able to unpick all of that, but the layers need to be quality ones. I don’t know if that’s an oxymoron or not…. but it can’t be solid drama all the way down, it is incredibly draining and lord knows I’ve had enough of that.

    Also, I don’t know if layers necessarily means drama drama drama. Having complexities in your personality is fine (as everyone does), but if you have a penchant for creating drama then i’m out.

    I have no idea if there’s anything else in my chart that would suggest why I get drawn to more complex characters, or why I love the challenge of sifting through and sorting things, unless people are drawn to me because of that trait? Who knows. Maybe I really do crave peace and stability.

    • Complexity is beautiful when owned.

      The person explores it, is tuned in to shifts and the ache for transformation. As well as the glory of the prismatic wonders.

      We know it will impact on the intimate partner, and in a tough spot someone may need to lean on the empathetic grace and loving patience of the other, and it will not always be a perfect process.

      But if the complexity is not owned then it is just drama, ever circling and outward projecting, with the escape clauses they never mentioned but call upon with utmost swipe and block, and obtuseness. Boring!

  14. I am always attracted to people born FEB1-5 seriously….

    Going through some heavy travsits at the moment .. pluto conjunct moon!!! Saturn in career sector , chiron trabsitibg bloody pisces ascendant..

    And i am inclined to embrace my aquarianess.. lots of little signs pointing me in this direction

    I have mars in aquarius and north node!

    So i agree with MM.. perhaps there are energies wiitjgin these people that you would like to grow within yourself?

    • I’m a quadruple Sagg with earth rising sign…in the last 20 yrs all relationships(except my ex-husband who was also quadruple Sagg) have been with earth sign guys who had 4 other planets in Sagg….Im sure there’s some balancing going on there, on both sides of the equation. For me I found the earthiness anchoring, and those guys who had all that fire hidden away behind respectable earth exteriors got to live it vicariously through me…or something 🙂

  15. Pisces stellium here and it resonates with me. Axed a few drama relationships. Only interested in easy breezy these days,

  16. Good question… As a 9th house fish person I do enjoy a certain kind of complexity – I think my mutable things get bored with samesameness (sadge dsc), I need the mental and emotional complexity to be seen, rather than in my own bubble and them smiling and nodding – that would feel isolating
    Fish e csncerian moon does seem to like complex beings. Wait also, Virgo rising? Pisces DSC? dreamy poetical types with all these undersea habitats to explore.

    Too much clunky behaviour is a turnoff but… exactly as MM mentioned, I choose to no longer engage with badly managed stuff or basically any vibe that de-centres me. It’s been a profoundly intense couple of years and a lot of personal work to arrive at this new point of self knowledge that is still sensitive and finding a solid zone across my life. So I just don’t have the inner resources to deal with someone else who isn’t existentially chill and boundary-aware of other ppls paths.
    A fixed chart or too much intensity (in the various forms that I experience), while I respect ppls MO in their worlds, although stable is likely to feel stifling to me.
    I guess with the late/early sign (‘cusp’) ppl, there are a lot of planets at the ends of signs in the last year+ so there is something transformational for everyone there. To bring ppl into our lives who are probably undergoing one of those transits does sound like we’re maybe looking for ways to make that conscious for ourselves? I might take that on board too – thank you mystic.
    Might be rambling now -this has been interesting thought process…

    • “A fixed chart or too much intensity”

      That’s most Scorps. LOL. I thought you were drawn to us.

      My chart is half fixed / half mutable, so I like stability. I guess that’s why i have so many Toro friends. They’ve all got fire or air in their charts though.

      Too much mutability and / or fickleness drives me mental.

      • Its more the lunar vibes e.g. fixed or plutonic moon that I struggle with. I retreat from anger or too much doom and I can feel when a fixed sign has put me in a box. Scorpio sun as a water sign is a bit different. I’m close to 3 women with Taurus moons and there’s a point where I go, whoa, are you sure you’ve got the reins tight enough there – just little things I see playing out I’m intimate relationships (all moons have their shitty side obvs)
        I’ve also found that a stellium in fixed signs or houses can put me in positions where I feel subject to judgmental or controlling behaviour, or an unwillingness to ‘try something different’ but this depends on a lot obviously. It’s the fixed signs that “sustain” and we need that energy as much as we need the initiators (cardinals) and the change-adept (mutables).
        Hope this makes sense!

        • Interestingly the 3 x Toro moon women each have mutable sun signs. And I admire them all too btw. This isn’t intended as finger pointing. Kind of thinking out loud about how i relate to fixed sign energy in close personal relationships. I have a really nice time with Sun sign men with their fire stellium in 2nd house, it also means sexy Scorpio or pleasant Pisces (or creative cancerian) rising, although the energy might be a little bit ‘low key’ for me mentally speaking…I’ll have to give this some more thought 😉 hahaha

        • yeah. I get it. I often pick up on a stranger’s lunar vibe more than their Sun sign, and in social situations my Saggo moon comes out to play.

          Fixed Sun and Merc in Scorp i tend to see things in black and white but thanks to my Venus Libra I’m able to see both sides of an argument or situation. I’d be intolerable with a fixed venus.
          So thanks for the explanation 🙂

  17. Another thing which is interesting is im friends with a lot of librans and people born on the 19th of a month, including my partner who is cancer 19th and im libran 19. But ive dated a lot of people born on the 19th of months all over the place!

    • Same for me and the 16th. But I have lots of chart stuff in the 20-26 degrees range, which their Sun would be aspecting, so I guess it makes sense.

  18. Just a cool thing i found after doing an astro chart; I used to think I might be more scorpio than Libra because my birthdate was close to scorpio than mid range libra. But then my chart revealed that I just had a lot of scorpio in closer planets like venus and in my emotional sectors. Its worth looking at a chart. Really helps the spread. Wish I had some earthy signs though!

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