Vanadium Lightyear Has An Existential Crisis

With a jolt of disdain, Vanadium Lightyear realized that she was entering a full-blown, epic existential crisis. She did not know if she could retain equilibrium until Jupiter got to Scorpio, the sign of her Sun. She wanted desperately to move cities but could not bear to leave her neighborhood. Not even for a day. Besides, a move from Cosmopolis to Chronopolis would take money and Space Archeology was still not happening.

She could not afford the laser V rejuvenation that Neptunian Life Coaching had suggested would psychically restore her Tantric Yonic energies. Her dream landscape had become terrifyingly dull – missed buses, trying to leave school but she couldn’t, swimming pools that needed to be cleaned but nobody knew how.

She’d taken on a freelance gig remote searching back galaxies for space junk with a sketchy ex-mercenary who – after one relatively lucrative down-payment – had been making increasingly bizarre promises about when/how he would pay her invoices.

First he’d offered to pay in a crypto-currency she’d never heard of, then he asked if she would accept pentacles from another dimension where “Tarot characters were the government” and then finally shares (options, futures, derivatives – something flimsy) in his vintage U.F.O. business. Vanadium did not trust him and resented the long unpaid hours scouring space imaging for anything that looked ‘non-organic’.

Shuddering, she decided to phone Ronaldo, her narcissistic vampire ex-boyfriend, to ask him for the $2000 he owed her. His socials had been lately depicting some sort of a spiritual conversion, hinting at monk hood and throwing around references to a ‘deflecting karma drama’ course he had taught.

Perhaps, she thought happily, he had detoxed from Space Dust and was more reasonable these days. He wasn’t. Having used “avaricious” and the C word in an unpleasant context, he said that, unlike Vanadium, he was not materialistic and had in fact just spent $10,000 on a Silence Retreat. He needed to get away from gold-diggers. Even though the conversation was like having a metaphysical version of a sewage pipe sprayed over her, it left Vanadium with fresh resolve. She had done utterly the right thing leaving him and she was going to fuq up his Silence Retreat. Her Existential Crisis had become an Opportunity.

Was Jupiter nearing the constellation of Scorpio actually already in effect and aggravating her lower Scorpio aspects? She did not care and sat down to scheme.

Image: Jonathan Lucero

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68 thoughts on “Vanadium Lightyear Has An Existential Crisis

  1. Hmm I’m seeing (wishing for?) a Vanadium Lightyear perfume, t-shirt collection, dream journal with pithy quotes…

    • Do you think instead of musk or ambergris, Vanadium would insist that human musks be sourced, as a way of reducing animal labour and profiting only from our own species? And for getting away from chemicals. And she would not allow farming of the poor as exploitation (they could be poor but only if their diet and energy field produced purer samples, and there would be great rewards, support and grassroots community media kudos for them.)

  2. Mystic … I’m sensing a Vanadium short story series. Or a graphic novel? Or a Snapchat sci-fi soap opera? πŸ˜‰

    • Actually, i have thought about the idea of doing a little – physical – book of Vanadium Lightyear short stories. My vision would be an actually physical hardback book with one of those wanky but amazing fonts (you know when the font gets its own biography at the back of the book) and paper that stationery freaks would fondle, hand-cut even – i would actually love to do that but i fear the audience would be too small to make the time & expense worthwhile…it would be a beautiful follie

  3. Laser V rejuvenation—lolll.

    I can’t wait for the turbo tarot–Neptunian Life Coaching–yes please!

    Also the dailies were SUPER BANG ON

  4. I do think this is the start of vanadium the mogul…mystic said Jupiter/Pluto will be fun for me too (assuming vanadium is a millennial). With that aqua moon she will dream up the futuristic wants of our generation and forget the whole ex revenge scenario tomorrow

  5. Truth: There are few fictitious characters I love more than Vanadium. I want to study her chart! Astro-Hack?…

    • Also side note: my North Node/Mars in 4th House was activated by this last eclipse and per Mystic’s Reign consultation I’ve been decluttering the abode. In the Love Zombie Vaccine episode, Vanadium had a great list of essentials: weights, computer, nut oil, heels, yoga mat. This list has legitimately (no joke) kept me on track. I’ve added tarot cards, large quartz, and dry scrub brush to the list. But for real. What else do you need?

    • There was a great deal of fondness for Delia Antwerp Aars, another possibly living character(s) on this site a while back.

      Thinking back to her about a month ago, I realised i kind of like her style now 0_0

  6. Oh my G, how scary!!!
    I’m not Scorpio, just some Pluto and the Venus, but this is eerily what’s going on in my life!
    What?? Like someone’s watching!
    Maybe not a Laser V but definitely a facial rejuvenation, and the Mercenary, far out is he flimsy with all the promises.
    The moving cities is true and the saving of money. However, I’m a Virgo and I’m almost done with Sat return.

    • Ahaha the ex bf why?? I mean why does it have to be the ridiculous right? It’s true. It’s all true. Best revenge is Santo Paulo perfume. Stupid sanctified fucker, you’ll remember it forever.

  7. yayyyy shes a scorp.
    and i was wondering the same thing abt feeling jupes in scorp already…family expanding (via felines )
    lots of financial outlay…hmmm

  8. Vanadium, darling, relax. Once Jupiter (ethics, justice based on philosophical rather than legal tenets or Libran score-keeping re what is fair) kicks in to help you transcend murky resentment, your desire for vengeance (fucking up Silence Retreat) will disappear as you let-go-to-the-universe, knowing that karmic justice will mean he gets his – eventually, and exquisitely – as long as you don’t usurp it/lower yourself by self-appointing yourself as agent of his demise.
    Take it from a Scorp rising. As long as we focus on mastering only ourselves, rather than punishing others, justice is always served, one way or another, if only long after we have let go of caring (or because we have let go of caring), in a way that is as validating and satisfying as all get out.

    • Spoken like a true Scorp rising.
      Revenge, yada yada. Having your revenge is never the issue. With Scorp it’s that when revenge is taken or not you tend to never forgive. When I’ve upset a Scorp it’s not the revenge that worries, it’s the fact that there is a person walking around who for the rest of their lives will dislike you. Repatriation is rare.

          • From Aphorisms Galore…

            Yield to temptation — it may not pass your way again.

            Robert A. Heinlein

            Natal Neptune in Scorpio 5th house. πŸ˜‰

        • I remember my Jewish philosopher professor positing that to not pay attention to someone is the worst feeling of injustice, more than hating or loving someone (notes from the underground). It made an impression on this young scorp, not that I was always able to pull it off when I wanted to heh

          • Later on I did learn that things /people only happen to demonstrate what I need to grow or let go of inside aka detachment ^^^take the ego out

          • I would rather be attacked than unnoticed. For the worst thing you can do to an author is to be silent as to his works.

            Samuel Johnson

            • The opposite of an aphorism is a Jupiter in Sag Rising long winded post (see: most of milleunanotte’s entries on the Mystic Medusa blog).

      • Oh man. I *try* to forget. I *try* to forgive even. But there what seems like a little piece of my soul that will NOT let go. LOL.

        Scorp rising might even be more difficult to be than a true Scorp!

        • I’ve posted this before for a Scorp.

          Forgiveness is deliverance ..

          The relief you experience here is not your own personal pardon, but the release of others from your rigid expectations.
          Like a hot air balloon, you will rise to new heights as you cast the heavy sandbags of resentments and restrictions away from you.
          Feel the lightness of being that results from forgiving others and accepting them as they are.
          Free yourself of the endless vigil of policing the behavior of others.
          See them for who they are, not what they can or can’t do for you.

          Yeah, it’s divine.

  9. I suspect you’ve intuited my life situation but given it some kind of amphetamine and put it through the “Fifth Element” filter. (I’m chasing a university for money though, not an ex haha)

  10. VL suddenly realizes what her relationship with ex was really all about. $2k was never going to repay the debt he had to her, $100k would. If stoopid ex just paid $10k for a silence retreat how hard would it be to put on her own retreat. $10k x 10 stoopids. In fact why would it be just silence she offered. Why not some micro starvation ? The academy will rent me that loft space and they can sleep in there. She tingled at the thought.

      • Oh god. Aquarius moon. “I’m not having a feeling, I’m just diagnosing something wrong with you and most of humanity. Stop trying to make it about me! I’m just trying to be objective, and the more you reason against me the more convinced I’ll become I’m the only one in the world who sees the Truth.”

        Though I shouldn’t stereotype. I enjoy many Aquarius Suns and probably many people with Aquarius moons I don’t know about. There’s just one particular person, whose astro I know very well, who can be having a full-on temper tantrum, completely convinced they’re just seeing into *your* issues.

  11. I L O V E this epic tale…!

    Am so glad to be back here, amongst the barely sane lol

    Saturn exact conjunction on my moon in sagg is a bit weary as f*^ though. Barely made my sagg sun one..

    Love love love reading MMs blog and everyone’s insights – experiences – survival tactics lol!

    Bring on Jupiter in Scorpio… will ramp up my Neptune & — omfg Venus. Look out WORLD x

  12. “Was Jupiter nearing the constellation of Scorpio actually already in effect […]?”.
    I must say I thought this exact thing about myself not later than last Saturday.
    It was a very jolly night, I met new friends and had very light hearted fun, convo, chitchatting and, as bonus, also felt pretty again after a long time.
    Jup transiting in Scorpio will be in my 3rd house and my Gemini Sun is craving for some new contacts, meeting new friends and peers.

  13. This is basically my life right now, but I’m Scorpio rising. Yesterday I was feeling so vengeful. I cannot wait for the end of this Mercury retro and Jupiter into Scorpio. And the end of the Saturn opposite my natal sun transit that has been on and off since end of last year. SO OVER IT.

    • Scorp Ascendant here too – I’m feeling you. This weekend of scorp moon and void moon was INTENSE. And early August with the Pluto thing…geez. And let’s not even mention the Pluto quincunx Sun obsession of last week [ongoing but now reducing in intensity]. I keep reminding myself that this is all just the energy perceived in the dreamed world… it too will pass.

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