Hi-Lo Astro: Haute Gemini-Low Gemini

Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two, plus a mobile phone, a high-speed internet connection, and a copy of The Bluffers Guide To Changing Lightbulbs.

Haute Gemini is ALLURING.  Charming, witty, and sexy, Gemini is attractive to all comers. Buzzing around in honey-bee mode, a Gemini flatters, flirts, and plays with advanced innuendo. They are the sign most likely to leave a swathe of bemused hearts in their wake.

Haute Gemini is UPLIFTING. Their cheery amorality is soothing to those more prone to turgid emotion. Guilt is an unknown emotion to Geminis. Confide it and Gemini’s reaction will be stupefied “So what? You did what you had to do. Don’t worry about it…I wouldn’t.” They also specialize in distraction tactics. A Gemini who is being audited by the tax office, sued by an ex-lover and about to be fired from that dream job is a Gemini busy planning a group theatre excursion. A friend in need is, to the Gemini mind, a friend who needs to be taken to a cat show, cocktail bar, yoga class, and film premiere all in one day.

Haute Gemini is ADAPTABLE.  Able to process anything in two seconds flat, Gemini is ultra-flexible. Their hyper-fast mind keeps them from being stuck in any form of a rut and they are able to relate to absolutely anyone.  This lot can get along anywhere and be taken anyplace. Just when one thinks one knows Gemini, they go and add a new facet to their already multifaceted person. This can be hard for slower acquaintances to keep up with – they’ll go and book African Tribal Dancing lessons to be more attuned to the Gemini they love. Then Gemini will say they over all that now and have developed an interest in competitive ping-pong.

Haute Gemini is BLITHE. Some call it shallow, but those who know better recognize Gemini’s light heart as a gift. Always inspirational and vibing much like a traveling minstrel of ye olde days, our Gemini is perpetual poetry in motion.

Haute Gemini is AMUSING. Able to lighten even the darkest situation by their mere presence and a few quips, Geminis are an asset to any social scenario. They know how to ‘sing for their supper’ and may be safely relied upon never to bore for a moment. Nobody fears being stuck with a Gemini in the kitchen at a party, just in a bedroom.

Haute Gemini is INFORMED.  Focus groups could profitably consist entirely of Geminis. They are what advertising shrinks call ‘key influencers’. Gadget, genre, jargon. attitude, word of the day…Gemini is a walking Zeitgeist of what’s hot and what’s not. They have the latest news, info, gossip, and jokes. Geminis can talk about anything. Whatever the subject, Gemini will know something about it, even if they make it up. Gemini hates cliches unless they are advising you on your romantic life. If it is to do with emotions, all Gemini can often summon up is a string of ‘water under the bridge’ isms. In other matters, their advice is genius.

“Imperious, choleric, extreme in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never been seen, atheistic to the point of fanaticism, there you have me in a nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change.”  Marquis de Sade, another Gemini.

Low Gemini is AMORAL.  Geminis rarely feel remorse. They are living proof that you can run and you can hide. The late eco-marine guru Jacques Cousteau apparently provoked octopus fights by tipping black ink into the ocean. Geminis are excellent at appearing attentive to what one is saying yet without actually listening. If required, they feed it back at you parrot fashion, without having understood anything. They rely upon the power of glib. A good description of this sign is in Gemini Francoise Sagan’s novel Those Without Shadows: “twin themes of attraction and disentanglement…the characters all move without shadows, uncertain of what they want from life, portraying the paradox of aimlessness and apparent longing for stability.”

Low Gemini is Dishonest. “Don’t expect confessions, revelations…not even the truth,” writes actress Isabella Rossellini in her autobiography Some Of Me. It is a habit of mine to embellish and color events till I lose sight of what really happened…I lie. I always did.” It’s as if fibbing was part of the Gemini respiratory process. They tell white lies, whopper lies, and the whole gamut in between. Even if Gemini did have a genuine ability to feel guilt, lying would not be the issue to evoke it. A large proportion of the thespian population is Gemini. This could have something to do with the Gemini dual nature or maybe it is because they are such fake people anyway, as acting – being paid to lie – comes naturally to me.

Low Gemini is A FLAKE.  Fearing that mediocrity is some kind of airborne affliction, Geminis seek to inoculate themselves against it by being gaga. A Gemini in free-wheeling flake mode is fearsome. No idea is too stupid to be entertained and no relationship so over the top or too improper that Gemini won’t launch it with gusto. Taboo turns them on – as sociopaths, they are immune to guilt. They think is insomnia is constructive extra time and being mood-disorderly is quite normal. They can come across as an aging baby. You seek closure, they seek the door. Asked to get in touch with their feelings, they switch into ‘life is a laboratory’ mode, starring Gemini as the mad doctor and you as the hapless lab rat. In the Gemini mind is a long drop-down menu of what they imagine to be reasonable excuses.

Low Gemini is HEARTLESS. This lot is cruel to perfectly nice people who just happened to bore Gemini. They say something vicious as a fast way out of the conversation. Unless they have a psycho-sexual motive to be nice to you, they are utterly lacking in empathy. Be warned that they can make an amusing anecdote out of anything. While you’re getting over your hideous affair with one, Gemini is busy turning the fiasco into a sitcom. Gemini spouses can be observed at dinner parties, quietly freaking out as a chortling Gemini regales the crowd with funny stories re spouse’s vasectomy, diet, or strange parents. Geminis have no sympathy for naivety in anyone over the age of 12. Their fave comment in conversation is “let’s move on.”  They don’t take anything personally – even when it is personal.

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No such thing as High and Low Gemini. Come on… any typical Gemini will be 100% high and and 100% low completely simultaneously. At least, that’s what I’ve come to learn. They’ll love you to death and push you away at exactly the same time. Sometimes from one millisecond to the next. With Gemini you can even see it in their face. They’ll need you and need to be free of you simultaneously. There’s no right or wrong, no black or white. But with a Gemini, that doesn’t mean things are grey… no! They’ll be the blackest black and whitest… Read more »


Gemini representative here. Want an idea of what it is like being Gemini Sun, Moon, and Mars? Imagine when you were a young child. Remember the carnival you visited? With booths,games,shows,people,sugary&saltyfood, colorful distractions of sight, sounds, smells… Never enough time to explore the options before your parents drag you home. This is the whole world to the Gemini. We can either embrace this existence as a delighted child(always fun company) by sharing exploring, storytelling, tour guiding, discover new acts, run about reverently with awe and validate… OR we can embrace this experience as a callous child( not fun company,) all… Read more »

Cat and the Rat

Being a Gemini and being married to a Gemini for 26 years I can say, not many dull moments. This whole heartless thing, seriously we don’t know that we are being that way. My wife tells me all the time that was not very nice what you said to him/her. I say, how do you figure that? Tho I rarely see her being heartless, when I do, I say to her, wow you really riped his/her ass. She says I did not, how do you figure that. I have found over the years its best to just let it go.… Read more »


Why is this being split in high-low? Gems are just perfect baby. Cmon now.


Ah, low gemini, I am well familiar with it from crazy bipolar gemini gf. Amoral dishonest heartless flake, precisely. I had a chat today with Miss Gemini’s former best girlfriend, who has been telling me for weeks about how they used to chat about how much Miss Gemini liked me but was too neurotic to admit it to me. I asked if she noticed that Miss Gem now is hanging around with a guy who looks exactly like me, but a little shorter. She said I should consider that a compliment. I said it was the cruelest cut, that she… Read more »

AliB aqua

Our 5yo son is most definitely a Gem. In both senses of the word. He is particularly high maintenance and as parents we are constantly drumming in the idea of empathy. Love him to bits and on a plus, our Aqua/Gem combo means we really can talk to anyone and anything.


Thanks Mystic, just read this 🙂 high and low, both applied in the past but we all have our reasons 🙂


Ditto, I think ‘sociopaths’ is a bit extreme! The Geminis I know are intense, eccentric & deeply engaged with politics & art actually, not at all the breezy gossipy characters you paint here. Some unpleasant doubletalk though. My Mars in Cancer makes me super-emotional, it’s even tighter than my Gemini Sun & quite harshly aspected so I don’t really connect with the airy thing at all – that’s all projection & other people’s interpretation of me – I’m currently trying desperately to lower the Gemini defences & make real friendships. Also value honesty deeply & would hate anyone to get… Read more »


I’m a gem with aries rising; she was a gem with pisces rising, and what MM says about low gems is spot on. Interestingly, she was born 1 year and 1 day later than me. She was an old school friend who had held a torch for me since high school (over 35 years ago!!); we ran into one another late Nov last year and things progressed from there until early March. Venus went retro on the exact day I had to go to doctor’s for a problem with a not good possible diagnosis. She got all offended; accused me… Read more »

Pisces in CQ

Gee whizz nrp. I hope this condition isn’t life threatening? I hope all goes well for you.

Taurean Love Expert

I have a Gemini moon, and certainly express both high & low Gem in lots of different ways…in all kinds of relationships. The ‘I’m bored with you – let’s move’ on tendency doesn’t kick in often, but it can be nasty when it does!


I’m a gem & can’t fake it. lol. 😉


Agree Baristagem.


Whoa! I was just talking about the qualities of Gemini with my Gemini assistant today. I know all of three Gemini’s and I think they’re the first I’ve ever known -well-ish, at least. And I have to say, I see some of the high and some of the low qualities in all of them. But this is definitely dead on as far as what I’ve observed. I both fear and look forward to the Haute/Low Aquarius rundown.


Bravo. I know one Gemini well-ish and she exemplifies your haute analysis. She was a boss of mine, and one of the few people I know with whom I would embark upon mostly anything.


I like Gemini’s on the whole and particularly enjoy working with them – I love their blatant disregard for rigid structure, even if they’re the director of the company, they’ll bunk off work with a breezy “I’ll be in meetings all afternoon”, when really you know they’re going to the pub/yoga class/meditation group to rebalance their chi. They love to brainstorm, play with words and ideas, throw around concepts and generally hate anything that’s already been done before or repeated and their ability to connect socially would make a Libran green with envy – I need a Gemini business partner!!!… Read more »

gem le taureau

Oh I wish you had spelled Blithe Blythe because that is my very Haute Gemini Best Friends actual name. Sweet resonance non? She is a delightful and blithe character and I love her dearly. Awww. x


Mystic – do you honestly believe we’re SOCIOPATHS???
I really don’t like being a Gemini – wish I were a water sign instead. Or any other sign, really. That’s prob characteristic of Gem, wanting to be something we’re not.
One thing I can say for certain is that I DO feel guilt – Nico’s right about the self-flagellation…


Wise words, Scorpbot and Nico. Space and time is good stuff. I know I certainly take a long time to digest. I have a feeling she will be in the ‘lets move on’ state sooner than me. At around the time she gave me the flick she also dumped her boyfriend who was universally liked and thought to be a keeper. She kept saying she didn’t really want anyone for a while but I hear she is now in the throws of a new relationship. Hopefully it is serving her needs better than the ones she left behind. She is… Read more »


Not an astro guru at all, but a gem, (who i should note doesn’t much fit to the picture of the gems you describe, i’d much prefer one on one communication than big flitting about things, used to flit about when younger, now feel a bit like it is too much work – well sometimes anyway). I would say though, that despite MM comments about not taking things personally – i certainly do, especially if it is direct criticism that i know that i have deserved. and if so i’d probably hide out for a bit and lick my wounds… Read more »


I have a gem in my life who comes across as very obnoxious to a lot of people then affable and charming to others. Peeps either love her or hate her. Have loved her for a long time as been friends for yonks but increasingly it became hard for me to turn a blind eye to the low. Recently I made myself persona non grata by expressing my own sentiments with regards to this other side. Just as an example for some time now I have been avoiding large get togethers organised by her because I can’t stand the sycophantic… Read more »

scorpalicious robot

hey grassmuncher, i had a falling out with a Gem friend too. I’m actually catching up with her this weekend – first time in over a year (after no contact at all). Our friendship was very fresh, we met at work and hit it off straight away, saw bands together, partied a fair bit… we were like two peas in a pod. But then one day i just got bored with the constant socialising. I expressed to her many times that i just wanted some space but it fell on deaf ears and the invitations kept coming. I started feeling… Read more »


Hey Grassmuncher … I have Gem Asc and vibe a lot of the Twins traits even though I’m a Cancer. Generally with friendships … when I get really jacked off … I walk. Like physically and mentally just shut the door and disappear, particularly when a friend is nit-picking and badgering me about something I’m not ready or interested in confronting at the time. I figure it’s better than an irritated explosion of sarcasm on my behalf where, having felt like I’ve been backed into a corner, I verbally lash out with a litany of unflattering hometruths re the other… Read more »

xox rockstar libran publicist xox

grassmuncher – I’m hearing you! an industry ego, who trawls Gem charm, wit & ingenuity gathering followers like the pied piper, for a few years upheld me publicly as his Super-BFF. He clarified at the outset of my tenure that should he change his mind he’d “disappear like a mole”, which several years later, upon misreading the cause & affect of his own fuq up/s, & subsequently appears to have somehow alleviated all blame in my direction. entirely unfair & unfounded of course. have maintained dignity in silence, as he’ll chime in one day as tho no hard feelings transpired… Read more »


LOL – ALL of this is true – every single bit of it – and my gemini ascendant suddenly makes sense. And I agree aello wholeheartedly – in true gem style I too believe it’s all a matter of perspective the shadow. Knowing your shadow is the key to divining when not to unveil it at the expense of others.


Gem rising hey? I seem to attract/be attracted to Gem rising folk. It either works out wonderfully – or not.

The delicate art of biting my tongue is a lesson I learn over and over again. Sometimes I’ve finished the sentence before I realise what I’ve said.


haha see mars moon post for me typing pretty much the same thing about the sentences that fall out of mouth without passing quality control first while you were typing your comment here.


I’m wondering if an acceptance of the shadow thing can be seen as a gem trait, what with the duplicitousness and all that. Clearly not exclusively I know, but a propensity? MM?


maybe so but denial of it seems kind of unhealthy – not that I am suggesting that’s what you are doing – but we’ve all got one. And is it a gemini trait to be accepting of the shadow of others? I often befriend people that others can’t abide or are scared of – can usually see beyond whatever it is others find repellant and find the shadow quirky or interesting. But maybe that’s part of the whole heartless thing – peeps who don’t show their hand at some point – afraid to show the clink in the armour –… Read more »


Or maybe that’s the uplifting part? People always tell me about their random acts of madness or whatever and when I congratulate them on their bravery and encourage them to let their freak flags fly they usually say things like I KNEW you would be ok about that – you are the only person I could tell. Heartless vs uplifting…


Talking without consciousness! Sometimes I hear myself saying stuff & it’s like WTF???!! I don’t identify with the heartless & sociopathic stuff though… have aries moon so maybe makes me more impressionable & naive & less likely to manipulate.


My ex husband of 30 yrs is a low-life gem. You just wrote his biography, MM


Being a duplicitous Gem, I was flattered to read the Haute list but also quite pleased with the Low list. I’ve learnt to love my shadow self. It’s all perspective – really it is.

Just yesterday, musing over a convenient acquaintance gone no-contacto, I said to my friend ‘but I’d never say anything that hideous, would I?’. There was a brief pause and then we both agreed that I would. She understands cos she’s a Gem moon.

PS Secrets are a burden.


I’m glad you said that, i felt a bit that way myself when i read it. I’m not sure i agree with the dishonest thing – i personally find its my honesty (others would say bluntness) that can cause the heartlessness. I personally believe it is more amoral to be dishonest re my level of interest in listening to the waffle of some person i’m really not interested than try to pretend i can politely smile and nod. People just don’t seem to realise my obvious disinterest and rapid escape is my version of the lesser of two evils… i… Read more »

Matthew Minerva

I love gemini’s my bf is a gem — we get on like a house on fire lol
peace to all gems == oh and to everyone else to lol

Ãœber Virgo

Geminis make amazing lawyers. They’ll say anything for money. I know one and I have to really watch what I say. He keeps me on my toes.

Matthew Minerva

completely off topic – but uber virgo i replied to ur earlier message == i worked the muse asteriods
soz everyone
Gemini’s i would say tend to be a bit manipulative and almost prone to blackmail — just something i noticed

xox rockstar libran publicist xox

Ubers LMAO – before the Ariean Ex was the Gem Surfing Legal. AMAZING when closing the case. Knowing MANY Gems, was laughing whilst reading traits both high & low! Apt.

Aqua Ramette

I have a favourite Gem who displays all of the high qualities to me, but I have witnessed displaying many of the low qualities to others. I think it’s because I refused her advances – one of the few people she’s ever met who managed to resist. I’m not sure whether that means she respects me, or if it means that I’m still in the ‘yet to be conquered’ category so I still get all the charm…

Cat and the Rat

Yet to be conquered, and you will be. It can take years it doesn’t matter eventually you will be the prey.


q. how many performance artists does it take to change a lightbulb?

a. i don’t know, i left.

but the myth of the gemini twins? they can be loners, and so independant, but are always truly searching for their other half-self, to share their world with.


as a gem i so agree with that (and probably the joke too)


Yes, unfortunately. I’m feeling the sting of being a solo twin just now…


Funny how you use the analogy of an honey-bee for Gemini…I’m a gem and my name means honey-bee, (or more specifically the nymph who first taught man the use of honey – that was the exact sentence in the name book, I’ve remembered ever since read it as a child! I always kinda liked that – what exactly did she teach him??!!)…and I’ve always felt an affinity for bees! Used to save them as a kid from puddles/pools etc and was never stung…

Leonine Librarian

Have such a mixed bag of interactions with Gemini people. I get them quite well…just seems I have an even split of high and low Gem people in my life…and the low as with every other sign is very bloody low. Low encounter: A couple of days ago I had a small red car try to park in the almost non-existant park next to my car . At the time I was just about to get into my car…but tried to stop them from backing into my car…twice. On the other side of me were two easy parks…but that would… Read more »


“My knickers are so twisted they’re wedged…don’t tell me to not get my knickers in a twist…”


I just cannot tell you how much I adore you Aussies..

“Deep plunges into flakedom”..

Seems like so many here have a Gemini twist as are so witty and expressive…

Do you have anything in Gemini LL?

Leonine Librarian

Yes Sweetpea, just a wee smidgeon of Gem floating in my chart, so sometimes I worry (probably the trinity of virgo planets) that I channel glib.

I’m not too sure that I was displaying too much high behaviour myself re:the car debacle…except I managed to walk away before it went into true meltdown…with distance it reeks of the absurd.

Jupiter Gemini at the end of house 1 and True node Gem in house 1.


I’m the same Nic but what I suddenly found (a Gem rising Aries impulse sudden thing?), is that after watching American Idol tonight I have a huge crush on Keith Urban. I never payed attention to him before or heard his music but he sang ‘Kiss a Girl’ with the winner of Idol. Just downloaded “Kiss a Girl” to my ipod (have it on right now…) He is tres sexy….Scorpio… Maybe it’s his Scorp Mecury on my Vertex or Cancer Moon on my Drac Cancer Moon? Adorable that Donald Duck is Gemini! So is my oldest daughter and like I’ve… Read more »

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