I Dated A Dark Sun Leo

Leos without a proper creative channel or stage of their own can become Dark Sun Leos, narcissistic nutters with an insatiable appetite for ego gratification. They come on super-charming, attentive and cultured but cannot sustain it. So, they manufacture a drama.

Dear Mystic,

Thank you for your astro-wiseness, humor, style, and presence. I do not start my day, week, or make any important decisions until I consult your fantastic website for insight.

I just had the most bizarre love affair end this past weekend, after beginning on Venus Retrograde. The first few weeks were magical and surreal; we had a fast connection. He drew me into him like a magnetic wave. I thought I finally met my person. Giddy, we’d talk for hours on the phone at night; senses aroused, music took on a new level of listening with every song speaking to my soul. Sex was primal and deep with him extremely attentive to my needs. We felt the same about each other and vocalized it. There were no mind games or power plays. The relationship was moving fast, as if expedited and reduced to its pure essence.

He Revealed Himself To Be A Dark Sun Leo

Then around the eclipse in March, things started to turn. I used words like un-jaded, positive, open, honest, kind, compassionate, wisely mature, generous, humble, and sexy to describe him. But gradually, my perception of him changed to the exact opposite of all those words. It was like he became a shape-shifter. Even his look that I was so attracted to morphed into a different person, like iridescence. From one angle, he was beautiful and shiny and from another standpoint dull and sad.

He became arrogant, not confident, bitter and mean not kind and positive, a negative kvetch drama queen not an excitingly dynamic sexy beast, a stingy self-centered Mama’s boy not a generous self-less man with a healthy relationship to his Mother. He turned into a materialistic muggle-norm with no capacity to accept responsibility for his life choices coupled with zero self-awareness. I doubted my intuition and thought I was going crazy, sabotaging yet another potential relationship with my insecurity, doubt, and lack of trust. But it turns out that all his low-Leo attributes came to light somehow and I was able to detect and narrowly escape, after an explosive argument and him ending our relationship over the phone.

I am perplexed by something so intensely ripening then rapidly mutating to rotten fruit complete with maggots running through it. I know that there were some strong astrological forces at play here and I’m hoping you can eloquently and cleverly, like you always do, decipher wtf just happened here. 

Most Sincerely,
Crabby-Bull

The Word Glamor Originally Meant Spell

Dear Crabby-Bull,

This anecdote makes me think of how the word “glamor” originally meant “spell.”  A glamor was something that you cast – not something that you were. Disillusion after an initial crush-lust phase is normal. But THIS sounds like the whole process on turbo, Venus Retrograde or not.

I think he was a Dark Sun Leo. Deprived of attention or the recognition that they feel worthy of, they seek it in lovers and sycophants. They are enormously doting and dazzling at first because it is a performance. The Dark Sun Leo wants to wow you. But they can’t sustain it, and so then they concoct a D-List drama to get out of it. Or maybe they can maintain it but choose not to. They like the “wow” gaze of adoration far more than mutual affection or intimacy.

Could it have been an exercise in self-knowing? To remind you of what you do value in a relationship? Lust Goggles? Was he a future faker? And then once he had “gotten” you, he could not sustain that level of charm? Dark Sun Leos -without a proper channel for their creativity or ego – can be manipulative and narcissistic. What was the inciting incident that turned him from Primal Adonis to Dysfunctional Muggle? And, if he comes back when Venus is Direct, rejuvenated with charm juice, would you have him?

What does everyone else think?

Image: Miranda

 

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Ali
Ali
May 14, 2017 8:51 pm

Look up ‘Narcissist’ and thank your LUCKY stars… run as fast as you can.

SheRat
SheRat
May 14, 2017 3:40 pm

I had this EXACT problem with a dude starting the night of the eclipse in Feb. By April 5, it had petered out. I took exactly what Mystic said to take from it: It showed me what I really AM looking for–even if he was only pretending to be it. Now I know. And there were some things there that I hadn’t dared think to insist upon, but when he’d pretended to BE them, I was like “Wait a minute–I could actually HAVE THAT?!?!” So, alls well that ends well. Mars and Venus were def. players in that, and perhaps… Read more »

TripleL
TripleL
May 14, 2017 1:46 pm

Piss off, green-eyed spammer.

TripleL
TripleL
May 13, 2017 8:55 am

Holy shitballs. Uncannily similar to my psycho lo-Libra from the ZZ days, including the mama issues.
Happiness, my dear CB, is a narcissistic fuqnut in the rear view mirror. Do steer clear of that loon-user during Venus sq Pluto, if he resurfaces (which I wager he will).
Live well & prosper! <3

Kimberley
Kimberley
May 12, 2017 10:19 pm

Ferris wheel rewind; watch out next time for a hint of the ol de ja vu–could be worse just dated one of the carnie folk bearded lady sword swolling tiny person, three legged lion tamer. Of course I would not be so light-hearted if you had not proved you fortitude with such bracing transparency

CrabbyBull
CrabbyBull
May 12, 2017 5:15 pm

Wow! Thank you fellow readers for your wisdom and Mystic… always always brilliant response. You are all just hilarious, ‘glamoured,’ ‘waking up to a fart,’ ‘suddenly I got the ICK,’ the merlin video… I just had the biggest laugh! The Neptune goggles were on thick! Transiting my MC trine to Uranus in the 10th. Definitely got played for a sex conquest, and a bit more. He was under a 4 year dry spell, post-divorce, until I came along (a sexually adventurous and highly charged, confident woman!). All he wanted to do was talk about sex during sex, talk about the… Read more »

Jacqui
Jacqui
May 12, 2017 6:09 pm
Reply to  CrabbyBull

Happy Birthday and many happy returns, I think you deserve a little pair of diamond white gold studs XxXx

Sam
Sam
May 12, 2017 7:33 pm
Reply to  CrabbyBull

Tell him to hock one of the jackets and spend the proceeds at a place that can meet his egoic fantasies, for the right price.
Happy birthday! Enjoy the freedom from crap people 🙂

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
May 12, 2017 4:37 pm

Hmmm a Leo….sounds to me like he was putting on a show for the first few weeks and then the facade dropped and the true characteristics shone through.

Low leos can be pretty good at hiding things…all the world’s a stage and that…

But yeah, venus retro…make no strong love decisions. See how you feel on the 19th when it’s out of shadow

emg
emg
May 12, 2017 11:36 am

What an amazing transit relationship !! Bearing in mind he could also have had a similar experience of oh wow then oh dear then how do I get out?
It’s amazing what these transits can do to our auric connections. And how strong it can be.

Sam
Sam
May 12, 2017 10:23 am

How long is the Venus retro phase – ~ 8 weeks? Sounds a bit like the usual 3 month auto-checkpoint. The dazzle eases enough for native behaviours, expectations etc to start to start to appear more clearly. I guess venusian ruled ppl would feel it, and I’m also thinking – these have been very intense times! So it was all a bit turbocharged. Depth charged, whatever. All the outer planets have been involved. Maybe something that each of you needed to tackle/reveal/address (Venus in headstrong and direct Aries yes) came up in the form of this interpersonal association. And or… Read more »

Sam
Sam
May 12, 2017 10:27 am
Reply to  Sam

Also, sorry to hear that it went to crap. Such things are never pleasant. Ideally, there is some kind of developmental conversation as everything moves out of shadow? Venus is yet to make first Pluto square of 2017 too.

Sam
Sam
May 12, 2017 10:29 am
Reply to  Sam

Or if communication is off the table, at least some valuable insight and so on.

Jokerman
Jokerman
May 12, 2017 1:43 pm
Reply to  Sam

I’m hoping for a ‘developmental conversation’ around then. Every other aspect of the Venus retro was pertinent.

Sam
Sam
May 12, 2017 5:40 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

It sounded to me like there wasn’t much left to talk about.?

Jokerman
Jokerman
May 12, 2017 9:15 pm
Reply to  Sam

Apart from an absolute ghosting. It had been all systems go…..then nothing.

I recall thinking, prior to the Venus Rx, that it was going to be a good thing. You see I go on what people say. It’s how trust is built.

Fuqn idiot me.

Sam
Sam
May 12, 2017 11:09 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

it is possible that the pattern of ‘speaking up / expressing needs’ is actually a threatening process (family, past relationships), and/or, is pointless because what one wants is rendered null and void by others (family), or brings about a cascade of crap and blame in the process of someone trying to pwn u. This is also partly built into the patriarchy. I know you don’t buy into this, and I am very happy about that, but it very much remains the dominant paradigm in which almost all of us exist, and subjugation can be found even in the dust motes… Read more »

Sam
Sam
May 12, 2017 11:49 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

Or maybe she’s a lying shedevil. Either way, the outcome is the same at your end. Point being, Good luck.

Skarab
Skarab
May 13, 2017 1:24 am
Reply to  Jokerman

I could be entirely wrong, but from previous comments you also seem to have a culture divide going on, non? In some cultures – esp certain Asian ones, saying the truth, if it is negative, they say nothing because it’s an offence or rude to openly disagree with some one or to say “no”. It can be v frustrating for us philistine westerners who act with much more bluntness & cannot read their more subtle signals.

Skarab
Skarab
May 13, 2017 1:40 am
Reply to  Skarab

Also, you seem to be dating the all-important family as well (even if you haven’t met them). Not easy, Pf.

Jokerman
Jokerman
May 13, 2017 2:49 am
Reply to  Skarab

Yes. You are right, broadly, on both counts. 5 family members, that I’ve never met, had @ big influence.

On the the truth thing she had a Focal 2H Moon, in Sagg, that Sqd her generational Uran / Pluto and Sun, Mars, Merc and Chiron; 8 Staggered T Squares!!!

I wasn’t blunt with her but I do value the truth. My Multi-Uranity likes peeps from different cultures

Anyway I busted myself for her (all my Cancer n Virgo stuff).

Jokerman
Jokerman
May 13, 2017 3:04 am
Reply to  Skarab

17/26 of the combined major placements were in Water GT kited by our Virgo stuff. Yes, culture does appear to have trumped the Astro.

Skarab
Skarab
May 13, 2017 7:28 am
Reply to  Jokerman

So many things can trump the Astro in relationships. And on the other hand, if i had paid heed to a couple of astrologers (one Vedic & one Western) when i met my multi Libra – i would have run for the hills & not have experienced this great relationship … what can i tell you? I love the Astro for character analysis/propensities & looking at events or cycles to better understand them – but personally, i’m not convinced about it’s use for relationship outcomes. I’ve seen “perfect” compatibility charts where the couple end up almost killing each other –… Read more »

Sam
Sam
May 13, 2017 9:35 am
Reply to  Skarab

predictability is over-rated.

Sam
Sam
May 13, 2017 9:36 am
Reply to  Sam

LOL me saying this on an astro site tho

marsbar
marsbar
May 13, 2017 10:42 am
Reply to  Skarab

so much agreement. My so called “perfect” match was a fucking a-hole who broke my heart and then proceeded to break my possessions and stalk me. Nope. nope. nope. Astrology is good for many things but not outcomes of romance matters.

Jokerman
Jokerman
May 13, 2017 3:18 pm
Reply to  marsbar

I’m a little more straightened now. Still I know I’m more attracted to Yin more than Yang in women.

marsbar
marsbar
May 13, 2017 3:33 am
Reply to  Jokerman

When people over the age of 30 ghost someone they have been on more than 5 dates with, i just throw up my hands: this is why we can’t have nice things!! Wtf?

Fuck ghosting! What happened to manners?

Sam
Sam
May 13, 2017 9:42 am
Reply to  marsbar

The advent of the Teflon(TM) heart.

Jokerman
Jokerman
May 13, 2017 3:14 pm
Reply to  Sam

(Not trying to be silly)- but doesn’t Teflon stop ALL things from sticking?

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon
May 12, 2017 8:52 am

I don’t expect things to get totally on the right track until Venus goes into Taurus. Even the 19th won’t erase this Rx. During this retro I a) got a bad haircut, by a Taurus (I’m a Libra), b) spent waaaay more money than I should have, all on credit cards, c) my diet went haywire, and d) I crushed hard on a super-hot dude at the gym only to find out he’s 20 years younger than me and basically not interested. Sigh. I’m ready for Venus to just move into Venus’ “safe zone” already! Gah, fml.

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus
May 12, 2017 6:52 am

This is so textbook, it’s scary – yes, when you are Venusian (Sun or Ascendant = Taurus or Libra), it pays to give extra attention to Venus retrograde. When she’s “out-of-phase”, so are you/your love life/your finances/your aesthetic senses inclined to be because you take your cues off her energy. Thankfully this is only once every year and a half and it only lasts a matter of weeks, not an eternity. Re: this Rx specifically, it kicked off in the sign of Venus’ detriment (Aries) – that’s pretty much a dead-ringer for hot-n-fast relationships that have lots of chemistry but… Read more »

toroloco
toroloco
May 12, 2017 7:38 am

Lol it’s a good time for casual dating though. I’ve never been the dating type, but I had been having the best time with flirtations & one nighters. Just best to avoid the lower qi/love zombie propects.

Not only that but demons coming out in existing relationships has been affecting me secondhand as well. Going from an ex to a sidechick (behind my back), was draining the ego and heart.

toroloco
toroloco
May 12, 2017 6:37 am

This sounds eerily similar to my situation, and I’m also Venus ruled (Taurus), but my natal Venus is squared by 4 outer planets. I was with an Aqua that fits all of tbe above description. This started around this time last year. It wasn’t until mid-March this year that I find out he had been 2-timing me. Sometime in April, while both Venus & Mercury were rx, he calls me and tells me our 4-8 month relationship/fwb/whatevs had all been “in my head”. Whateffingever. Him requesting certain nudes is not something I’d make up. I went into that relationship because… Read more »

Catherine Cox
Catherine Cox
May 12, 2017 9:11 am
Reply to  toroloco

Mine is 18th may too. I have Neptune in the twelfth house in Libra conjunct my ascendant and opposing my sun which is in 7th house . Seeing what I want to see etc talk about lilac wine! Unfortunately it also seems they see what they want to see and when I fall off my pedastal all hell breaks loose!

12th house virgo
12th house virgo
May 12, 2017 6:33 am

It took me 21 years to get rid of a low-Leo male. I was under the influence of Neptune transiting my 5th house for most of our relationship. I’m a natal Venus-square-Neptune type. You’re lucky you caught on quickly.

Unicorn Sparkles
Unicorn Sparkles
May 12, 2017 5:36 am

I’m still giggling about the skid mark quote.

Neptune goggles. Like beer goggles, but the hangover is worse.

Kel
Kel
May 12, 2017 6:47 am

Bahahaha skid marks and Neptune hangovers. The only cure can be a Virgo moon

Jokerman
Jokerman
May 12, 2017 1:57 pm
Reply to  Kel

I shower twice a day in winter, thrice in summer. I’ve a 1st decan Virgo cluster.

emg
emg
May 12, 2017 2:34 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

Oh boy do I know a Virgo moon ! I can’t imagine a cluster ,!?!?!?!? My Aqua is hyper clean Virgo moon. Me…a very moist cancer one !!

scorpiodawn
scorpiodawn
May 12, 2017 4:39 am

cant believe the 19th is FINALLY only a wk away…phew!

Carey
Carey
May 12, 2017 4:38 am

This comes to mind! Narrow escape, you.

kriblack
kriblack
May 12, 2017 5:49 am
Reply to  Carey

LMFAO! Yes!, this is exactly my experience of Lust Goggles! Ha, ha. My friend calls the waking up part of the experience Getting the Ick. As in oh my god, were walking down the street holding hands and everything was perfect and suddenly I got the Ick. Like instantaneous lust fog lifting.

On the other hand, now I’m thinking I wouldn’t mind being on the other end of that, with some lovesick fool completely blind to MY trollish side.

Aw. Merlin, such a silly, enjoyable show. Thanks for that, it cheered me up on a grumpy morning.

Jokerman
Jokerman
May 12, 2017 1:53 pm
Reply to  Carey

That is fuqn funny. Of course I’ve never done anything like that.

Jokerman
Jokerman
May 12, 2017 1:54 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

But ever body has their native behaviours.

vikingwoman
vikingwoman
May 12, 2017 4:23 am

I think Mystic nailed it. In falling in lust, everyone is under optimistic hope…as you gain greater intimacy that longing turns into its manifestations…sometimes with mixed results. When you take your lilac goggles off which started during the eclipse, you saw into him more clearly. This is the gift of courtship; the realization that “he ain’the The One”. Every ended relationship helps you define what you really want in “The One”. This is the gift if Venus Direct and NN in Leo…helping you determine what YOU want in an adult, loving, individuated man. Good luck!

Milksun
Milksun
May 12, 2017 4:03 am

Crabby-Bull and Mystic thank you for sharing Venus retro thoughts. You dodged a bullet and should applaud yourself for bowing out immediately when he showed his true colors! He certainly tried to play you, but I think your standards are still strong, this man was just very good at masking his low side to get into your heart (bed). I wish you luck and healing, and a sexier, more fun relationship down the line. I’ve been through an uberfuqd season too and reeling still from end of a relationship. I think the eclipse in March is what set it into… Read more »

Hermeswitch
Hermeswitch
May 12, 2017 3:50 am

Oh. He realised you were more than him so couldn’t compete. Well done you. Keep it up. The right one will turn up.

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon
May 12, 2017 4:35 am
Reply to  Hermeswitch

I second this.

flowerchild
flowerchild
May 12, 2017 7:10 pm
Reply to  PlutoMoon

I third this! And, do not ‘rapidly back track on his vileness’ after Venus goes out of shadow. You’ve already seen the light, the veil has been lifted, the mask ripped away. You are woke to this situation now, no reason to go back into denial or strap on any delusions. You’ve done the work…now don’t look back! You can do much MUCH better for yourself! Every time I’ve given someone a second chance against my better judgement, it’s turned out worse than the first time around. Trust your instincts! I have Capricorn through my 7th house, too, and Venus… Read more »

marsbar
marsbar
May 12, 2017 3:26 am

Wow! I second Mystic. Sounds like Neptune to me plus some unfortunate timing.

Crabby-Bull, do you normally get involved with people who turn out to be the opposite or was this a rare thing? Sounds awful!

Jacqui
Jacqui
May 12, 2017 3:01 am

This sounds like my first school teenage romance, beautiful (handsome) strong, clever, romantic then self obsessed, grotty and unstable. My rotten fruit had fruit flies buzzing in lazy circles and the odour of pathetic.

Ps as a kid I obsessed with being a mermaid, I would write wish list, of my world on the steamy mirror, waiting for the bath tub to fill…No dangerous sharks, no little brothers, beautiful lush hair and lots of dolphin friends to play with

Kel
Kel
May 12, 2017 6:41 am
Reply to  Jacqui

I love your mermaid bath game. Totes doing that next time I’m having a moon induced moment of despondency xx

Lovelee
Lovelee
May 12, 2017 2:37 am

May 19. Love it!
Please keep us posted Crabby-Bull.

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