Before And After Venus Retrograde

Filed in Venus

As Venus emerges from the shadow zone of her Retrograde (in Pisces and in Aries) by Friday – it is a good time to reflect on what this Venusian Voodoo did for us!  It was in effect from late January,  super-strength from March 4 until April 15 – and now Venus gets back to the point she was at before turning Retro.

SO: FINDINGS?  Regardless of whether or not you are currently in a relationship/in love etc, i think a core theme here was people re-relishing their independence or autonomy. And then some surreal rethinks of various approaches to relating or actual romances. But if you have anything that you are tracking, see what occurs Thursday-Friday.

 

Image: Ninotchka

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Hedgepig
Hedgepig

I’m devoted to this gif.

crisse
crisse

Venus RX has been brutal but they all are. Especially since it went through my enormous 12th house made of Pisces and Aries. And it is still not out of it. On March 4th I got a new boss at work, one that likes my work, that I get along with and, not gonna lie, I have a bit of a crush on. He is older and with a sexy voice. He has been on a trial period ever since. On May 18th he was supposed to give an exam to make it official but he was absent. Next thing… Read more »

Invicta
Invicta

So many comments here about being over the dating thing and more focused on the relationship to self. It’s really encouraging to read.
Maybe that’s the best thing about Venus retro

Virgo Ellie
Virgo Ellie

I had a shocking response from a friend. I met him online through Plenty of Fish in 2015. Nothing panned out for us but I stayed in touch. Then my job took me away from home, where he is and when I told him I said that I would like to stay in touch. He said it would good. So we stayed in touch. Then in April I decided I was coming home. The project I was working on had worn me down, I was starting to feel like something physical was happening and needed to get home. So, I… Read more »

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

Wow he actually sent you that text??

Invicta
Invicta

I do not miss online dating one bit…

Jokerman
Jokerman

I’d like a Miss from online dating; lol

Invicta
Invicta

Reminder of the wise words in the daily Email (not to be confused with the daily mail) for Thursday Uraranian weirding continues…don’t strain to decipher strange conduct.. I’m getting that queasy feeling in th pit of my stomach as yet more fuckery emerges from the usual suspects…the upside is, I’ve always pushed my inner knowing aside/ been told I’m paranoid, have trust issues and am verging on delusional…none of which I have ever denied. Interestingly enough though, the usual suspects emphatically deny that my intuition has validity but now their actions say otherwise. Isn’t it funny how people denigrate a… Read more »

Ssylka
Ssylka

Forced to resign from a good job due to bullying, within a month I was at a job interview for what for me would have been an ideal position that solved, income, housing and a good future and the possible opportunity to ‘egg’ Murdoch and the PM (lol) I would have resisted this–probably. Interviewer told me I had it in the bag, but then left me hanging for 4 weeks to finally come back with a NO. Did they find my ASIO file? Do I have an ASIO file? Quite possibly. Biggest disappointment of my life. So now I’m back… Read more »

Pi
Pi

You beat them by living anyway. Fuq them all. Truly. Come back here if you need a dose of lilith or Eris from the resident squad here. We need you.

Invicta
Invicta

It’s disgusting because it happens everyday in every sphere of life to every woman I know of.

BELIEVE HER

sphinx
sphinx

Sorry to hear this, also what is the ‘gap’? Should we be concerned?! Workplace bullying is the worst. My partner was brought into his bosses office as a woman accused him of gossiping and giving out company secrets. Which if you knew this Aqua Asc guy would strike you as absurd as his boss found it (who is both female and the same race as the complaining party). He was really upset as he behaves impeccably. Also I had met this Leo at a party and we had a great time along with another Leo girl, so all three of… Read more »

Gemricorn
Gemricorn

it felt like the twilight zone but was amazing in the end. The boyfriend and I started therapy ! and it has been amaaaazing my gaad. Everything was retro in my 5th (where I have the bulk of planets) – I wasnt feeling very creative so I started an entirely new side business/endeavour – but something far less creative than anything I’d normally commit to and as the planets move forwards I’m totally running out of steam on it and DYING to be more creative again. So I’ve been ignoring that project the past few days, it took WAY longer… Read more »

MissDee
MissDee

Regardless of the scopes promise the Virgo Risings we would be the “IT” thing during Venus Retro because it was going to happen in houses and 8 and 7, it was one of the loneliest and saddest period EVER in my life. Seriously: I got worried I was losing my mental sanity. I feel so envious of the “love of my life” post here above. As Venus gets closer to the end of the shadow zone, the only palpable effect is that I feel like a wanna get a hair makeover (I suspect NN in Leo has to do with… Read more »

Invicta
Invicta

I got very lonely when my moon progressed through my 7th and 8th houses. Sometimes energy there just makes us aware of where we’re at or what we have and don’t have or have and don’t want, want and don’t have…etc
Just my take on it…I’m not usually lonely and love to be alone generally but whatever Jupiter or even Venus goes through or highlights the 7th & 8th it’s like there’s an echo

Jokerman
Jokerman

My natal chart ruler AND bucket handle in the 7th, and on the cusp of the 8th, is why I feel so strongly. That and the fact that my multi-aspected Neptune is square it which inturn trines my Asc.

I am the off-spring of Nep and Moon.

Invicta
Invicta

Neptune and moon very strong for me too Both in the 12 and in Sagittarius and Neptune trines my Venus in Leo. Venus is my only fixed planet and I used to use it to ground myself and feel alive, relevant, worthy, safe, all that. If I didn’t have big hair, a banging body, fabulous shoes and bling and all manner of complex intrigues sex obsession masquerading as love buzzing around me I simply didn’t exist… How the mighty have fallen.. ha Rock bottom feels solid to me now. Besides, I think I swallowed a lot of water bobbing around… Read more »

MissDee
MissDee

Hi Invicta. Thanks for the tip. Had no idea that progressed planets could influence that much.
My progressed Moon is in Capricorn but in my Natal 4th. I don’t think that’s the point.
But checking the progressed chart I noticed that my progressed Sun is in Leo which explain why I got a sudden interest in my hair after a long time and got them curly 🙂
Also my progressed rising is in Libra so maybe – since Libra are not good a being on their own – that could explain my sudden stronger focus on relationships.

Invicta
Invicta

I’m happy it makes sense I really feel my progressed moon in particular I’m so grateful that mine is currently progressed into Leo and in the 9th house I don’t know if I’d be able to cope with the volume and velocity of sheer crap errr amazing learning opportunities coming my way with a different house or sign As a Sagittarius moon natal I find fire signs very supportive and with Venus in Leo, having the moon progressed there helps fortify my spirit. Cancer and the 8th house was kind of preparing me maybe but I didn’t handle it well.… Read more »

Pi
Pi

My progressed moon is in cancer right now too. It’s very different and I am constantly negotiating cancerian (I guess) themes. Which are natally foreign to me (but with a 9th house sum mercury I love foreign everything, so yay! Research project haha)
Looking forward to moon in Leo like you Invicta. I think kataka moon is sort of ‘preparing the ground’ in terms of emo work, inner safe space stuff, house of spirits? so Leo can just yank the curtains open , let the sunlight stream in and Get To work

Invicta
Invicta

Pi that makes SO Much SENSE.. yes!
From your posts recently I feel a very similar vibe to when I was going through my progressed moon in Cancer 8th house transit.
It makes total sense that natally you have a 9th house moon too. Yes..
Oh boy, you are going to LOVE the next stage… how much longer are you in the swamp?

Invicta
Invicta

It’s been so long since I was genuinely excited about anyone else.. And I know it sounds odd. I had some people this weekend just passed being all shocked at how long it’s been since I was in a relationship. It doesn’t bother me though. It has been a long time, years and years..but.. I’m going through changes and still so involved with finding out who I am and how I can live as myself. It does sound strange, even to me. But in reality it isn’t. I’d have preferred things to be different, yes but it’s better to live… Read more »

Invicta
Invicta

But we never know, that could change at any time.
I suppose it’s just about having a life that makes me happy without needing a romantic relationship to provide me with intrigue or distraction or whatever. I feel like we’re encouraged to put romance ahead of selfhood and it’s insidious. Particularly for women, as if there’s something wrong with a woman if she isn’t vamping it up..
Maybe that’s just my stuff though.
I have a lot to figure out..

inner_circle8
inner_circle8

Please,

I don’t want another break up 🙁

Aquasunrise
Aquasunrise

No, and I don’t want anymore romantic visits from such seductive spiritual phantoms…

It’s almost too much facing the prospect of unexpected slow burning pursuit and passive escape, when there’s responsibility that demands attending too…

inner_circle8
inner_circle8

It was so good until last night 🙁

Aquasurise
Aquasurise

It is not a situation to envy, I am sorry to hear so…and wish you well for your pain… Pain that is hard to bear, heal. We try to avoid it, however it teaches us much – I know am in this place potentially – Knight of swords (AIR: pursuit, ardent truth) Queen of pentacles (EARTH: Querent?) The devil….(EARTH? Lust, power?) The star…. For ideological reasons I put myself in some spiritual and emotional risk (courage). Under someone ele’s instruction; persuasive, direct, of conquest, articulate and charismatic and very swift…more intense, deep than I cared to accept. Yet I see… Read more »

Aquasurise
Aquasurise

I see the devil as PLUTO (control)
And the star as JUPITER? (Hope?)

Aquasurise
Aquasurise

Oh, thinking further about this – I have signed a contract with the devil!

Money, no sense, for matters in power!

Perhaps the fools innocence protects them, I wonder.

Aquasunrise
Aquasunrise

The knight of swords, = honesty….

Exposes the truth for better or worse…:-((

It was always the case, I already realise it.

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

Well the Forbidden Ex literally popped up in front of me March 9…didnt actually speak until mid April…has been pestering me with daily good morning texts and some not-quite inappropriate banter since. Oh and actually invited me to his new home (!!!!) I went. It was a test – if he did anything dodge he was history. He didn’t. We drank tea and chatted. (Although he was quite twitchy lol) I’m not sure if I’m in LZ territory, or if he is, or if this is just one of those occasions when people genuinely like each other but there are… Read more »

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

actually this V rx is probably more aligned with the Stupidly Long Ago Ex who has somehow managed to get me to go out with him 3x since March…and I still haven’t gotten round to asking “wtf do you want??” because he’s quite nice and I feel mean… maybe he’ll just vaporise of his own volition after friday…(fingers crossed)

Pi
Pi

a gentle and very consciously perceived ebb of the complete flood-washout that occurred after meeting the Capricorn, which peaked as intense emotional pain around the start of 2016. I got some tarot reading done, went to some therapy, did shitloads of Yin yoga, listened to hours of Buddhist meditations and talks, made Art about feelings, researched my self. There is a Capricorn-shaped shadow on a wall somewhere, some kind of roadside flood sign with a debris-stained “Historical Record” marker, and although “grateful” feels a bit 2013, I think I have achieved some kind of sense of acceptance and grace about… Read more »

Pi
Pi

I think I described this before as a kind of cosmic acupuncture for the Heart meridian.
It’s been a year-long chiron transit for me, including 2 x mercury retrograde stations conjunct Pluto, squaring my pluto-IC. Many good things have taken place too. And I am looking forward to being able to focus on growth, peace, a new kind of happiness, change and *sunshine* inside and out now.

marsbar
marsbar

Cosmic acupuncture for the heart! Love your narrative Pi! Good things coming your way for sure!

Pi
Pi

Well, I sure hope so ..

Invicta
Invicta

Grateful feels so 2013
Ha ha
Love that

Jokerman
Jokerman

1st Pic: “Why are you looking at my forehead?”
2nd Pic: “Why are you looking at my nose?”
3rd Pic: “I don’t think we are seeing eye to eye!”

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

harhar

Saggi Crab
Saggi Crab

I’m loving reading all the comments from people who have reignited their relationship with themselves! I’ve found myself in similar circumstances. My long-term relationship ended earlier this year – I moved into my own place in early March, and found myself still spending quite a bit of time with my ex. Then, over the last one or two months, it’s like a switch has been gradually turned down, dimming the deep need I felt to have ‘someone around’. It’s just me, and I am so grateful for it! It’s challenging and loneliness is confronting, but I’m getting so much out… Read more »

Redsonya
Redsonya

I FINALLY came to a place of real peace regarding ex and family relationships. And know that I probably will meet someone new at some point, but I am okay single too.

Janey
Janey

Hi everyone, I know someone of you read tarot and I was just wondering if you could give me advice or guidance regarding ‘How I can improve my relationship with my son?’. I haven’t seen him in 4 months and he is living with his father, who is a narc and wont let me see him. We talk on the phone and facetime, but there is a distance between us and if anyone else has been in an abusive relationship, they use the children to hurt you. I’m going through court at the moment and did get interim orders to… Read more »

marsbar
marsbar

How old is your son?

Janey
Janey

He is 12

marsbar
marsbar

Are the 5 cards any particular positions in your spread like future, past, etc?
I would personally do a 6 card…past, prez, near future, problem,fix, outcome….

what i feel intuitively from cards is son feels some sort of discontent. Again , could be growing hormones or could be narc manipulation. Hard to tell. Maybe just talk with son about how he feels if he’s open to it.

But yeah do the court thing and get orders or whatever else necessary to get the ex to play fair.

Janey
Janey

Ok, they are past present major influence, advice and outcome. Everything is my fault, and his dad will always blame someone else even his own son. I get the phone calls with him hysterical and he still doesn’t want me to get him. And I feel my son is becoming one. I struggled with his aggression and sent him to his dads last year. He doesn’t want to see me now. He keeps saying one thing and then retracting it about what’s happening there. The usual manipulation tactics, smear campaigns etc. I did do another spread as you suggested in… Read more »

Lili
Lili

The responses to trauma- fight, flight,flee, faun. Your son is doing a little of everything.

The hardest thing- convey being OK with his dad, his wanting a good relationship with his dad. Find the scraps of dad’s good parenting. Don’t make your son choose. Acknowledge turmoil without stating expectation.

Make space so your son can move towards you.
Sending you light and strength!! xx

Janey
Janey

Yes, Lulu thank you. I have dusebgaged from the fight, struggle. Trying to just hold space for him and be there for him. I’m not pressuring him to see me, but it hurts. I miss him. I love him so much. You can never win with a narc. And anything to to do with his dad I don’t participate in. Xxx we will get through this. Thank you again for you wise advice.

Invicta
Invicta

Narcs are the worst

Invicta
Invicta

I have been realizing a lot this Vx about my relationships with narcs and noticing how every single thing has to be about them all the time.. Not just whining about it or reading about it but actually experiencing the emotional reality of it. It’s the only way of really getting it and moving on from it sans effort or self talk for me. Silly but fairly recent example… So I’m not particularly into TV at all but I quite enjoy intelligent, irreverent sci fi- kind of Pynchon esque time travel meets Monty Pithon meets something currently clever and a… Read more »

Invicta
Invicta

It wasn’t just the one day that he banged on about it. He persisted for WEEKS until I actually asked him to stop because he was ruining it for me and it felt like he was doing it on purpose. When I told him that he said “but I love you so much more than Dr Who, don’t you see?” I said that I didn’t see. That he was protecting himself and the show he liked and now was ruining it for me anyway which under the circumstances was ironic. He said “are you annoyed with me?” I said “in… Read more »

flowerchild
flowerchild

Best advice and understanding of Narcs I’ve heard is Richard Grannon on youtube. He really tells it like it is, no sugar coating, really breaks it down, and helps you de-program yourself from narcissistic abusers. Check him out!

Invicta
Invicta

I will. X

Laura
Laura

This is bats astro for me – my current relationship came off the back of the lessons from the last Vrx and I made the move interstate for study at the start of this one (never had been in a couple where I have felt so in-my-own-power as this one. I’ve been left feeling a bit out of sorts as a truly sweet Libra boy had me in his sights – who was going through a Venus x S Node transit to boot – and previous learning has taught me that my current relationship is what I want. This wet… Read more »

Pi
Pi

omg, my life is basically a venus south node transit, as it is a natal placement for me. I wonder if this is how all of my unrequited love interests feel (until recent personal awareness developments). hahaha oh dear. interesting though. thank you

flowerchild
flowerchild

Right on cue……end of January, I met the young Sagg rising/1st house Cap stellium/soon to be Cap-Saturn-return-guy. He did a very unexpected about face on me right on my birthday, 31st Jan. I told him to piss off.. Beginning of March, he resurfaces, sends me a message through the dating site we met on….I couldn’t believe it. I told him I was willing to converse. We texted for about a week (didn’t see each other in person) before he started acting sketchy again. I bailed again.. Beginning of May, he texts out of the blue apologizing. I accept the apology,… Read more »

flowerchild
flowerchild

p.s. You wrote the retro was super strength from March 4 to April 15th, and that is pretty much the exact time period I had that Swedish pen pal guy, and our last correspondence was April 17th.
That was fun, and he was so sweet!
Wacky, wacky stuff happening during Venus retro… :-p

flowerchild
flowerchild

AND…….. last Thursday, had that Toro who offered me an affair, which is really what he wanted, not me……he came over and I gave him a lecture on how if he isn’t getting enough sex with his girlfriend that will be a never ending issue and he needs to work that out with her, whether he has an affair with me or not, because if it’s not me, it will be someone else and someone else… We had a little interlude, but he texted me and said he thought about my words and thanked me profusely, and realized he needed… Read more »

dizzarina
dizzarina

I found the love I’d always craved. It’s been a dream come true.

Now, the real work begins, as I am starting to feel like I’ve been taken over. I need to create some healthy boundaries around my time, so I can take care of biz and maintain my support network.

But, it’s happy work, and fresh territory, and I am grateful to Venus for going retrograde!

Starbaies
Starbaies

Thanks for sharing the good news – it brought some sunshine into mine 🙂

Despite the revelation Ive had recently which Ive shared above, Im overall very happy and looking forward to fresh territory as well! Its a 1 year numerologically, so new starts are the universal theme…. Cheers xx

Jokerman
Jokerman

Onya Ms Dizzy.

Pi
Pi

You’re my new role model 🙂

Invicta
Invicta

Dizzarina!
Good for you. That’s amazing.
X

dizzarina
dizzarina

Thanks guys!

Kat
Kat

My partner’s conservative parents finally admitted they don’t like/ approve of me. It was clear to me for a while but not to him, so I’m glad its out in the open. I’m not sure if it’s the veganism, the fact that I don’t identify as Catholic, or from their own culture. Probably a mix of all of the above. It’s been intense despite the fact that it’s all been revealed through text msgs. Lol. Definitely some control and power issues there. They’re authoritarian parents who expect their son to obey. He’s not going anywhere, which is great, but gosh… Read more »

Pi
Pi

Ugh 🙁
Parents in law. That’s parents of spouse, is it 4th house from the 7th? So transits to your 11th house can also include in-laws?

skarab
skarab

Well now that it is out in the open, you should really nip this in the bud properly. If your partner is willing to stand by you, then you should face them and draw up your own rules and boundaries – because THEY will not change and the pass-agressivenes will continue – and sooner or later it will become toxic. Believe me i know only too well. After many, many years of putting up with my authoritarian anglo-protestant status-obsessed & racist in-laws, i finally put my foot down & will not have anything more to do with them. The peace… Read more »

Pi
Pi

🙁

skarab
skarab

Yep – Chiron Return (Aqua 4th H) made me do it. Suddenly you realise how precious time is & how pointless it is to have enemies in your own camp.
(Blimey, i just checked & Jupiter & Neptune were also ON my Chiron at the same time as the Return – no wonder 4th H issues were blown wide open that year)

skarab
skarab

A-ha-ha … & trans NN/SN directly on my IC/MC axis too! Yes – SO much culling of familial flotsam that year.
The Astro never ceases to amaze.

Jokerman
Jokerman

You made me check mine but it was 8th issues. But its not as obvious as to what was happening (early 2010).

Kat
Kat

Gosh that sounds just like them ?. I’m sure it’s about status too- not being “good enough”. I haven’t got a masters and don’t earn above a cetrain threshold. It’s terrible you had to go through this kind of thing also but I’m so glad to hear you’ve drawn a line. How exactly did you confront them? I’ve been at a loss in terms of how to deal with this. In a sense things may not have gotten bad enough but I certainly see this escalating. I was excluded from a family trip abroad to celebrate the dad’s birthday while… Read more »

Ruby Tuesday
Ruby Tuesday

Believe me, you don’t want to.

Pi
Pi

I can’t believe that actual adults think that it is acceptable the behave this way. You too skarab with the type-A (for asshole) in laws. Honestly these people have not grown up past 15 years old, “you can’t sit with us”… Total children. The warmonger in me would want to blow it all apart, but I get that this is not how one rolls when in-law (or is it) (don’t answer that…, life is complex enough) The parents need to know that their basic kindergarten bullying tactics will not get them what they want. Are they trying to game you… Read more »

Pi
Pi

You could even send over a bottle of champagne to be Extra Gracious.

Kat
Kat

Haha love it! Some friends suggested i take a similar MO- go but be nauseating nice. I just don’t think I’ve got it in me to pull this off with the confidence needed. Realistically, I’m more likely to crawl into my shell and wait for some lilith action.

Kat
Kat

Thanks Pi. It is shocking isn’t it? I’d started second guessing myself because I’m much more infuriated than my partner is about this. It is classic schoolyard bullying behaviour and it totally stumps me. I don’t really know what they hope to achieve but I’m guessing it’s a ‘putting me in my place’ move intended to humiliate and show me who’s boss. They sit like royalty at the head table they’ve set and I’m the commoner who they’ve deigned to include out the ‘goodness of their hearts’. I should be grateful I’m sure. Its a whole other can of worms… Read more »

skarab
skarab

So true. I had written you a ream of stuff – but it got lost when i tried to send it. :/ (Plus not easy to get wi-fi where we are.) Look, bottom line – it is BAD, BAD behaviour. NO excuse. And you don’t sound like the sort of person that would engage in games of tit for tat. Don’t play – don’t go to the party – you will regret it & you’ll be “feeding the monster” so to speak. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life dealing with this – because it will… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman

Shades of “Midnight in Paris”. Maybe you get a lift in a ’20s Peugeot.

skarab
skarab

LOVE that flick…. & yep, FIL is of the same species as the father – but worse. Thought he was Big Daddy. MIL would just drink, paint & look glamorous (she secretly likes me tho). SIL is .. i can’t even begin … nor want to – pure evil & married to a minion of the anti-christ. Family reunions were epic nightmares. More Tennessee Williams than Woody Allen…..alas. Only way to cope in the end was to smoke a yard long scoob before hand and let it all slide.

Pi
Pi

How on earth does someone as Skarab-y as you hook up with progeny from such a family?

skarab
skarab

LOL! …skarab-y…Because the progeny is the most wonderful & wisest person i know. I had no idea his family were so awful as we met far away from them. He actually takes after his mother’s side – really nice, cultured & liberal. Seems she sold her soul at the crossroads to the corporate demon.
Also, we have mainly lived on the opposite side of the planet from them – which helps enormously.

Pi
Pi

🙂

Kat
Kat

Ha loved that film also! You know my last relationship with a toxic aqua was bookended by Woody Allen films. It began with Midnight in Paris and ended with Blue Jasmine. I always thought there might be something significant to it. Hmm

Jokerman
Jokerman

Woody is Aqua Moon.

Alouetta
Alouetta

It’s been such a roller coaster ride that I’m reluctant to comment on the outcome until Friday in case there’s another turn that throws me on my ass. But as I mentioned above there’s been lots of reminders of why our relationship is worth trying for. And so many destructive patterns repeated and exaggerated in such a short space of time. Urgh.

JupiterRuled
JupiterRuled

Yes, pattern recognition for me too.

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

Autonomy, yes. Straight up.

Jokerman
Jokerman

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msrod1029
msrod1029

Too funny! Crack me up PF!

Pi
Pi

Ah, you are becoming attuned to the ways of the Tao, grasshopper

Jokerman
Jokerman

If you don’t leave any marks in the rice paper you can roll it up and cook it for tea

marsbar
marsbar

More like roll it and blaze it!

Invicta
Invicta

PF
Ha

Starbaies
Starbaies

Realized an old ex of mine(psycho Gem is from over 5 years ago) might have gotten into certain email account(s) and am now needing a total overhaul in terms of handles, contacts, emails, etc. Creeper x100000. Complete lack of boundaries, manipulative, two-faced… No life of his own so meddling with that of others, how sad. Tried to mess up my life and my relationships by digging around and reaching out to my friends and acquaintances…. Very convincing guy, but all a sad, desperate smoke show. Had to threaten to get authorities involved because he couldnt take no for an answer.… Read more »

Belle
Belle

Laugh in their face at the meddling don’t react even if u want to – it instantly takes away their power. Belittle him in witty banter to the point it hurts too much to stay in contact with u. But in the background tighten up defences so it can never happen again. Had a similar experiance..

Starbaies
Starbaies

Sorry to hear that. Im not in contact with this person at all since the relationship ended years ago. I dont know if an emotional approach(pos or neg) would work or even be a good idea. It might make him want to up his efforts, knowing that I care enough to even respond/that it might be causing even a minute emotional response in me/that I am playing his game – all of which is what he seems to be after. Its a twisted emotionless nostalgia and sense of possession (Triple Gem, double Toro) that he thrives off of. As for… Read more »

Invicta
Invicta

Nasty stuff I had something similar but nothing had ever happened with the guy. Was a “friend ” who I had the lack of Saturn to make a business partner who then proposed marriage (err but you have a girlfriend who you live with))) Just nuts We hadn’t spoken in years but when we first met he’d installed a wifi network and put some stuff into my hard drives. Anyway I lost all my computers. New Mac Pro and a few new MacBooks plus some cute apple widgets I had. The whole system got infected with this artificial intelligence program-… Read more »

Starbaies
Starbaies

Whatta piece of work you found. I stopped using a laptop for personal use after that episode as well. Im considering dumping it now after your comment. I am just like the woman above actually. I am currently going through that literal dynamic with someone I have been eyeing. I feel kind of bad for constantly shutting him down as Im actually very interested, but Ive been burned so hard its hard to take any man seriously unless he gives me serious legit vibes. Clever banter, deep pockets, or even a great legit profession doesnt mean much to me and… Read more »

Invicta
Invicta

I wouldn’t dump your laptop. My machines “self destructed” Basically they were being remotely controlled by that bully. As soon as the new apple remote control software was released they all had a different administrator and I was blocked from accessing certain data and more importantly from initiating commands as I was no longer the administrator. I let it get to me and wasted so much time trying to get rid of the program but it kept finding ways back in. Honestly I learned a lot about data and network security but I think in the end if I’d have… Read more »

Starbaies
Starbaies

Sorry for delay – Thanks for your comment xx

PlutoMoon
PlutoMoon

This was a, “Nope, sister, you need to be alone right now whether you like it or not” Venus Retro. And it really is a good thing. Just sucks to have gotten sucked backwards into the Venus in Pisces dream a little only to be spat out to where I came from again. It’s all good though. I’m reclaiming myself. Lessons can be so weird sometimes. I think sometimes even with all the foresight and preparation we still end up getting caught up in the astro lesson at hand. “Re-relishing independence or autonomy” is exactly the vibe now, for me.… Read more »

Invicta
Invicta

Word!

gogengo
gogengo

I realized that I am my own greatest investment!! And that the most loving thing I can do for myself and my dreams is to work : put a foundation down, one brick at a time. Picked up a part time job that has allowed me to pay my bills and really focus on my work, my offerings instead of stressing out about being broke.

Yes there are people and places that I’d like to see, but right now I gotta do me :).

Electro
Electro

Huge house project caused a strain on my marriage. We have both been exhausted for months. No time for dates or other fun stuff, all work. Makes sense since I’m also having Saturn opposite my Venus Jupiter conjunction 8th house. But, even through the torrents of life, the foundation grows stronger. Amazingly enough there is compassion and tenderness underneath it all.

Oops
Oops

Venus in rx sealed the lid on a really unhealthy, long term on-again-off-again relationship, that crashed and burned many months ago. Never got back together, but couldn’t leave each other alone or allow each other to move on either. Stuck in purgatory. So Venus cleared out the garbage, and it’s finally DONE. She immediately found someone else, I took my time with no interest in another and turned my energy inward to find my center again. But the Universe intervened and someone, very recently just came along, that I am feeling things for that I didn’t expect to feel again… Read more »

scorpiodawn
scorpiodawn

yes!
independence from a multi national corporation that was emplying me, woo hoo.
not going back…just hope it was the right decision…

marsbar
marsbar

No real ‘love’ things, for once my love gullet is full…no complainig!
For me, Its All about the money! Researching like a fiend about investment trends. It wont all be about war devices / bombs, maybe healthcare investments pay off too? I found new ways to invest that could take off but waiting for shadow to clear…
Maybe with a little luck on my side my wallet will also be full once again!

Suddenly Leo
Suddenly Leo

I’m just completely over the idea of dating. Low return on investment, which was the mood before Venus went retrograde, but now it has the same appeal as binge drinking or eating animals – like, does not computer, y do that?

Suddenly Leo
Suddenly Leo

*compute

Kel
Kel

Oh yes I feel you! I’ve been more attracted to the idea of crocheting a knee blanket for winter than dating these past few months

Suddenly Leo
Suddenly Leo

You will get a solid return on investment for the time you spend on a knee blanket. I am with you.

You can listen to feminist podcasts or binaural beats while you knit. That’s twice as good as a date.

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

hahaha that is true 😀

flowerchild
flowerchild

Agreed…….great way to sum dating up, low ROI. Have come to a similar conclusion lately.

Calendula
Calendula

Venus retrograde rekindled some love in my long term relationship. Now that She is direct again, things are strained and sometimes breaking up feels like the right thing to do.

Alouetta
Alouetta

This happened to me too. I think it’s a reminder of the thing that’s worth fighting for. Is it?

JupiterRuled
JupiterRuled

I’ve the opposite situation – Wanted to break up with him so many time when Venus was retro, but now that it’s direct, I feel like the relationship is stronger. For me, there was a pattern recognition of pushing people away when things didn’t go my way. I’m hopeful I can keep the lesson front of mind if the urge to push him away again surfaces.

Syrena
Syrena

Fell headfirst into a truly nasty love zombie episode* that was then compounded by Mercury Rx making trying to explain myself to them an exercise in bogdamned futility.

*I need to seriously keep track of Venus Rx dates in the future, because evidently vrx doesn’t give a SINGLE damn if you’re asexual, and it will make you act like you want something you don’t, even while the part of you that knows better is looking at you in dismay. (Thankfully I didn’t let it go too far, but it was a near thing.)

marsbar
marsbar

As a demisexual/demiromantic, i find your second paragraph hilarious! No, venus really does not give a flip! She is all about populating the planet regardless of human quirks!
From finding my asexual tribe i noticed a lot of those folks seem quite uranian or have a lot of virgo or aqua..the demis have some pisces or neptune involvment. The ones with relationships have all told me the same thing, happened unexpectedly while not really looking like a bolt of lightning! But there it is staring in your face…can’t deny it.

Quellpunkt
Quellpunkt

Wow, thank you. I had never heard the term demiromantic, and now that I’m reading about it, sounds like I may be one. For the record, I’m Aqua rising, Sun in 6th, Neptune opposite Venus.

marsbar
marsbar

Could be! It was a very liberating feeling to find my tribe finally! I hope it brings you much awesomeness too!

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

what bizarre terminology – the implication being that its not “normal” to want a deep connection with someone or needing to feel a connection before romantic feelings emerge? There is something seriously wrong when a perfectly sane human need becomes a label with sub sub-genre implications! (and in Urbandictionary.com no less!)

**stalks off feeling even more disaffected than usual**

marsbar
marsbar

I think its more of a generational thing. Most of these peeps are about half my age. Back when i was a teen and young adult, people who had unpaid sex with lots of people indiscriminately with no real connection were labelled as sluts. “Sluts” don’t really exist in the new paradigm because it is a shaming mechanism and the previous “slut setting” is now the new “normal setting”. That means everything else shifts if you reset this as normal. That means if you need a deep connection, in the current set up, that automatically shifts you into strange territory.… Read more »

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

hmm, thats interesting, i suspected i was doing the “and you kids get off my lawn” thing…im totally on board with getting rid of the old slut shaming paradigm, but i don’t see how that leads to making disconnection normal…obviously I’m just too old !

Pi
Pi

I don’t think it is about making anything normal, or not normal. Its recognising that there is a cohort of ppls who don’t occupy as much of a ‘need’ or ‘desiring’ space as some others. In a society that chastises someone for not being sexually available (or the opposite), to identify as being somewhat indifferent to it all is probably quite freeing.
At least, that’s how I read it.

marsbar
marsbar

This!!!

Pi
Pi

I think I was just paraphrasing everything you said tho x

Invicta
Invicta

THIS!!!!

Syrena
Syrena

This is exactly how it feels to me, too. A lot of the time a demi label is frequently misunderstood. Well said!

Quellpunkt
Quellpunkt

Yes! I love the idea of a spectrum, and people falling all along it. My friends and I didn’t know what to call me beyond “prude”, but that wasn’t really accurate. So demi- fits way better. And it is freeing to have someone else articulate what I have been saying all along. My friends all happen to be women who love one night stands and only “catch” feelings for someone later. and that works for them. I have to have an emo connection before I am even remotely interested in anything else. and that works for me.

Pandora
Pandora

Yes, Pi. Saturnplutoflux, see lonerwolf.com. There’s stuff about the terms there. Was a revelation to me – you’d think a venus-nept in scorp rising would be all over the romance/sex thing, and I have always felt a bit weird about being so rarely (but then passionately in rare cases) attracted to anyone and being ok with going for literally decades passing up opps for casual sex… It’s not about making disconnection normal – nor seen as a generational thing – it’s about feeling ok about yourself if you just aren’t as into romance or sex unless it’s a total mind-body-spirit-heart-trust… Read more »

marsbar
marsbar

not a generational thing you say? Have you tried explaining “asexual” to someone in a non-urbanized area who is over the age of say 50 y.o. and have them get it successfully? The vast majority do not understand or accept it, even the more liberal ones who understand gay or bi or poly. It is very misunderstood and somewhat controversial. I served on an Ace panel at a Uni the previous year and was shocked just the number of even young people who just didn’t get the concept. The category simply did not exist before a certain time (doesn’t mean… Read more »

skarab
skarab

I first heard it decades ago when my lecturer suggested (as have other scholars) that Alexander the Great was most likely asexual.

Pandora
Pandora

Like you, I/they meant the reality of it (rather than the name) is not generational.

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

OK thanks for the explanation Pi . lol just kinda thought this was everyone except for a few free spirited hedonists who manage to maintain their independence…i need to get out more!!

Syrena
Syrena

That’s nuts! I’m aqua rising with my moon in Virgo – smack next to Pallas Athene (and the vertex), in my 7th house, which intercepts the whole mess. Figuring out I was ace (and possibly aro, but I’m not too bothered about finding out for sure) was a recent thing that made my moon situation make so much more sense.

No kidding about the bolt of lightning. It really did come out of nowhere, and I’m so glad to know it’s not just me! XD

Quellpunkt
Quellpunkt

I just read that the ancient meaning of the word “virgin” is “complete unto herself.” And of course, this speaks volumes about Virgo and Athene. The author who I was reading (Rob Brezsny) wonders if this explains why these goddesses are not responsible for the procreation of the species.

marsbar
marsbar

I do feel that a lot….i feel often like a terrarium, a complete little eco-sphere.

BTW I love love Rob Brezny. if you havent read Pronoia, you should!!! i highly reccomend.

Quellpunkt
Quellpunkt

🙂 Beautiful, a complete little ecosphere! I am reading Pronoia right now! He mentions the virgin on p. 154 🙂

flowerchild
flowerchild

Ah, marsbar! Love this! A ‘terrarium’……that’s what I feel like, too, at this point in my life, and I’m happy with it!

I date around a bit, but I’ve been on my own for years, and have a feeling I’ll probably stay that way, ultimately.

Pandora
Pandora

Rob Brez, pronoia – and the Vertical Oracle which I found through him – are key survival tools for me too

Syrena
Syrena

I’ve read a lot about that term recently, and I adore it. Feeling complete on my own is an ability I cherish.

marsbar
marsbar

Glad you found your tribe and just figuring everything out! You are in good company! I have Uranus and Neptune touching everything and Venus in Virgo. I compiled my data from the aces I hang with as they seem to publicly post their birth data and can sort not just ace, but more details like demis, aro, polys, pans, etc… (LOL…many of them think astro is a little too woo…) An overwhelming number of Pisces, Virgo, and Aqua suns or ASC. A lot of air moons or moon in Virgo. The least number of fire signs and remaining earth (Toro… Read more »

Quellpunkt
Quellpunkt

Love that you have collected this data. Anytime someone posts bday deets I am looking up their chart and looking for correlations with the ways they describe themselves. True Aqua rising, Uranus conjunct MC that I am.

I have an ace Cap friend, and I have always wondered about the rest of her chart. Most of my sex-first relationship-later friends are Fire signs. My 2nd out of 3 long term relationships was with a Aqua Moon Venus in Virgo man who appreciated me as a demi, and perhaps was becoming more like me as he aged.

Syrena
Syrena

This is fascinating. It’s interesting to see how things correlate among a group of people, star-wise. I’m a Sag sun, lilith, and venus, but they show up way more in creative/aesthetic stuff. You get other people involved, it’s all Virgo and Aqua.

And yeah, I have the luck to run with a pretty weird crowd, but now and then I’ll go one step too far with the astro/witchy stuff and they’ll look sideways at me. XD

Pandora
Pandora

Interesting. Sagg, Virgo and Aqua, huh?

Me? Sagg Sun/Merc, Aqua Saturn SN opp Mars/Magdalena in Leo 9th, Pluto-Uranus-Juno-Vesta in Virgo square Sagg Sun Merc, opp Jupe/Chiron in Pisces.

Oh, and Black Moon, Eros conj Psyche, Astraea conj Venus conj Neptune in Scorp 12th. Square said Aqua stuff, and Mars/magdalena in Leo.

Pallas in Cancer 8th.
Asteroid Lilith in Libra 11th.

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

interesting that you guys are Saggi too, maybe we represent another aspect of the Sagg character, the more philosophical side maybe? although i hate labels the “demi” thing seems to fit my take on things (I honestly thought this was just normal – so self absorbed! lol) , and Im quadruple Sagg (sun.Mer.Jup conj, and Neptune), and Taurus rising…maybe its the Cap Venus/ Pisces Mars that produces the reserved/aloof thing…

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

sorry, should say “need for real connection thing” – it just comes off as “reserved/aloof”

marsbar
marsbar

I’m a Sagg Asc and one of my 3 Liliths is a Sagg as well. Lots of Scorp which would make people think I am teh seksy but I am so not. Interesting about Sagg tho!!

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

yeh! – mystic can you do an investigation into the non-hedonistic Sagg?

alchemy-salt
alchemy-salt

Escaped the clutches of a Love Zombie crush that had been sapping my energy for nearly three years. Thanks, Venus Retrograde!

leogroover
leogroover

Know it well . Took me 15 months 2000km of distance and a visit to our old stomping ground (loads of ghost memories everywhere) to finally tell myself and believe it -enough. Time for a fresh start.

Venusian8
Venusian8

In 2015 my divorce came through. This marriage was extremely dysfunctional. Fast forward to Venus Rx 2017 and I found myself writing up a paper for my psychology degree about none other than IPV. Although my ex did not return in the physical plain (thank fuq) he most certainly did return on paper. This revisit helped me learn some mega life long lessons cemented via an attachment theory perspective, and although very difficult and painful at the time, this venus rx bought closure once and for all.

Capintransit
Capintransit

Fell in ‘infatuation’ with a man in last days of January (met online and totally clicked instantly) …. he fell more in infatuation with me. Turns out he was worth more than £32 million – and cashed up for £20 million. Spent weekends strolling through Marylebone looking at houses …. while having deep, intelligent, serious conversations about money and power and control. All my girlfriends thought it was great, I adored being with him and loved his company and tried to have a grown up relationship where I wasn’t the one always giving. BUT …. found myself with niggling voices… Read more »

Aquanuts
Aquanuts

wow!! beautiful story!

Capintransit
Capintransit

I know …. and fabulous song too. Its been a long 4 years of many lessons … would be nice if the final lessons were coming through in the Venus Retro and now maybe its time …

Pandora
Pandora

Don’t look like danger to me.
Damn, any man with taste like that in lyrics and music….
This story gives me hope.
Thank you so much for alerting me to this song!

Alouetta
Alouetta

Aww that’s a great story! Best of luck for you and your boatman.

Leo Scorp Grrrl
Leo Scorp Grrrl

Yowza! That song. Must be something to get that one sent to you. Keep us all posted!

SheRat
SheRat

Interesting, as I, too, have had two failed flings since January that *seemed* totally perfect for, oh…a couple weeks or so there…and just as Venus turned direct met a man who the universe seems to have spat up in direct response to my specs. I’m a little wary after getting all excited over the last two. I can’t even tell anyone about him because I over-blabbed about Thing 1 and Thing 2 and I know all my buds will be like “Bitch, what is UP with you and the freakin’ boys?!” Venus was retro over my natal venus, BTW. THAT… Read more »

SheRat
SheRat

Also, ha ha! I have played Sam’s BBQ before!

capintransit
capintransit

wow. Well goodluck with the new boy …. xx

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo

I got full custody of my daughter. I never thought that would happen. I am very disappointed in my ex, but otherwise happy. And the ex disappointment is also free-ing because he will never ever change – so no more worries about that. A new level of peace is attainable.

Alouetta
Alouetta

Congratulations 12th. Best of wishes for a whole new future together.

Universali
Universali

Well done no more being beholden in any way….awesome

Janey
Janey

Oh wow, congratulations!! Your daughter is very luck to have you xx onwards and upwards

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo

Thank you!

Capintransit
Capintransit

oh gosh.

blackfish
blackfish

Late January my marriage started to go from diffficult to sour. The counselling started. He moved out a week ago. This has been my Venus retro! It’s not all bad. A lot about me learning to back myself and stop giving up on lots of the things/ways I would like my life to be. It’s not easy though!

Shazberry
Shazberry

I can empathise, Blackfish. Almost to the The dates of Venus retro, I too am finding my marriage, almost insufferable. It has gone from crap to crapper. Well, actually, if it weren’t for out daughter and our financial situation, I’d be most likely not here. What Venus retro has taught me or reignited, is my autonomy and the faith I have in myself. Let’s see how this week pans out.
I hope your following weeks and months are smoother for you.

Universali
Universali

Same! Not just sour though, totally rotten. So it’s over. Just got off phone to lawyer finalising property settlement right now. And I’m kinda seething. No not kind of, I am “aggrieved” as my lawyer put it. Pffttt… currently teaching myself french with a cool app and pouring over guidebooks. Planning to f off with my little girl for at least a month once all this angst and hurt and bloody tedium is over…and what’s with sitting here on hold to CSA (child support agency) listening to tragic classical music??! Not helping mood!!

Multiair
Multiair

I’ve been through this process myself and know how difficult it can be. Hugs to you all.

blackfish
blackfish

Thank you all! And lots of love and light to you all. I did appreciate the irony today of jotting down my Child Support application reference number on a relationship counselling psychologist receipt!

Mystic Medusa
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