Ask Mystic: I Just Dated A Muggle

Dear Mystic,

Thank you for your astro-wiseness, humor, style and presence. I do not start my day, week or make any important decisions until I consult your amazing website for insight. I am a long time listener and first time caller for your “Ask Mystic” postings, and maybe you will find my inquiry relevant for the masses of your dedicated readers.

I remember reading one of your blog posts about relationships that began when Venus went retro and if it would be doomed when the planet went direct, and well I am here to share my experience. Post Venus Retrograde reflection, I suppose the short question would be, would my ruling planet Venus in retrograde make my usual standards for mating/dating lax and submissive?

I just had the most bizarre love affair end this past weekend, after beginning on the day Venus, my ruling planet and hi, went retro. The first few weeks were magical and surreal, we had a fast connection and I was drawn into him like a magnetic wave. I thought I finally met my person. Giddy, we’d talk for hours on the phone at night; senses aroused, music took on a new level of listening with every song speaking to my soul. Sex was primal and deep with him extremely attentive to my needs. We felt the exact same about each other and even vocalized it. We got along so easily, no mind games or power-plays. The relationship was moving fast, as if expedited and reduced to its pure essence.

Then around the eclipse in March things started to turn. I used words like un-jaded, positive, open, honest, kind, compassionate, wisely mature, generous, humble, sexy… to describe him and gradually my perception of him totally changed to the exact opposite of all those words. It was like he became a shape-shifter. Even his look that I was so attracted to initially morphed into a different person, like iridescence… from one angle beautiful and shiny and from another angle dull and sad. He became arrogant not confident, bitter and mean not kind and positive, a negative kvetch drama queen not an excitingly dynamic sexy beast, a stingy self-centered Mama’s boy not a generous self-less man with a healthy relationship to his Mother. He turned into a materialistic muggle-norm with no capacity to accept responsibility for his life choices coupled with zero self-awareness. I doubted my intuition and thought I was going crazy, sabotaging yet another potential relationship with my insecurity, doubt and lack of trust. But it turns out that all his low-Leo attributes came to light somehow and I was able to detect and narrowly escape, after an explosive argument and him ending our relationship over the phone.

I am perplexed by something so intensely ripening then rapidly mutating to rotten fruit complete with maggots running through it. I know that there were some strong astrological forces at play here and I’m hoping you can eloquently and cleverly, like you always do, decipher wtf just happened here. My instincts point to the ruling/rising planet fuquery and realize that a lot of planets have gone or are still retrograde. The eclipse also seemed to be an indicator. Is there a correlation? I absolutely love astrology, have been studying it for years and would deeply appreciate your help in unwrapping this.

Most Sincerely,
Crabby-Bull

Dear Crabby-Bull,

This anecdote makes me think of how the word “glamor” originally meant “spell.”  A glamor was something that you cast – not something that you were. I mean a bit of disillusion around a lover once you get to know them and the humdrum sets in. I over heard someone in the street today complaining about someone with the memorable words “He consistently has skid marks in his pants and i think his family are really religious.” But THIS sounds like the whole process on turbo, Venus Retro or not.

To me it sounds like Neptune – key suspect in anything where there might have been a whole lot of projection transmitted onto someone who (sort of) fitted the bill. And maybe the retro-Venusian purpose behind it was to turn you onto what you do want in a romance OR to remind of what you value in your self.  Like a catalyst-arousal situation.  Or, some more prosaic suggestions: could you have had Lust Goggles on?  Could he even have been playing you for sex/a conquest?  Question: What was the inciting incident that made you withdraw from “primal sex Adonis of the deep whatever” to “grotesque Muggle with actual slimy shrink type issues”?

Other prospects – this could just be super strong Mars-Venus synastry, very appealing on one level but not enough to sustain anyone multi-faceted.  Oh and also – Venus is not out of shadow zone yet – I am betting that by May 19 this is ON again and you’re rapidly back tracking on his vileness.

What does everyone else think?

Image: Miranda

 

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AliErinTyla HolsombackMasterPowderfinger Recent comment authors
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Ali
Ali

Look up ‘Narcissist’ and thank your LUCKY stars… run as fast as you can.

SheRatMM Member
SheRat

I had this EXACT problem with a dude starting the night of the eclipse in Feb. By April 5, it had petered out. I took exactly what Mystic said to take from it: It showed me what I really AM looking for–even if he was only pretending to be it. Now I know. And there were some things there that I hadn’t dared think to insist upon, but when he’d pretended to BE them, I was like “Wait a minute–I could actually HAVE THAT?!?!” So, alls well that ends well. Mars and Venus were def. players in that, and perhaps… Read more »

Master
Master

Unable to understand as i was seeking astrology…write something like

http://bit.ly/2qG55Dw

TripleLMM Member
TripleL

Piss off, green-eyed spammer.

TripleLMM Member
TripleL

Holy shitballs. Uncannily similar to my psycho lo-Libra from the ZZ days, including the mama issues.
Happiness, my dear CB, is a narcissistic fuqnut in the rear view mirror. Do steer clear of that loon-user during Venus sq Pluto, if he resurfaces (which I wager he will).
Live well & prosper! <3

Kimberley
Kimberley

Ferris wheel rewind; watch out next time for a hint of the ol de ja vu–could be worse just dated one of the carnie folk bearded lady sword swolling tiny person, three legged lion tamer. Of course I would not be so light-hearted if you had not proved you fortitude with such bracing transparency

CrabbyBull
CrabbyBull

Wow! Thank you fellow readers for your wisdom and Mystic… always always brilliant response. You are all just hilarious, ‘glamoured,’ ‘waking up to a fart,’ ‘suddenly I got the ICK,’ the merlin video… I just had the biggest laugh! The Neptune goggles were on thick! Transiting my MC trine to Uranus in the 10th. Definitely got played for a sex conquest, and a bit more. He was under a 4 year dry spell, post-divorce, until I came along (a sexually adventurous and highly charged, confident woman!). All he wanted to do was talk about sex during sex, talk about the… Read more »

JacquiMM Member
Jacqui

Happy Birthday and many happy returns, I think you deserve a little pair of diamond white gold studs XxXx

PiMM Member
Pi

Tell him to hock one of the jackets and spend the proceeds at a place that can meet his egoic fantasies, for the right price.
Happy birthday! Enjoy the freedom from crap people 🙂

Lux Interior Is My Co-PilotMM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

Hmmm a Leo….sounds to me like he was putting on a show for the first few weeks and then the facade dropped and the true characteristics shone through.

Low leos can be pretty good at hiding things…all the world’s a stage and that…

But yeah, venus retro…make no strong love decisions. See how you feel on the 19th when it’s out of shadow

emgMM Member
emg

What an amazing transit relationship !! Bearing in mind he could also have had a similar experience of oh wow then oh dear then how do I get out?
It’s amazing what these transits can do to our auric connections. And how strong it can be.

PiMM Member
Pi

How long is the Venus retro phase – ~ 8 weeks? Sounds a bit like the usual 3 month auto-checkpoint. The dazzle eases enough for native behaviours, expectations etc to start to start to appear more clearly. I guess venusian ruled ppl would feel it, and I’m also thinking – these have been very intense times! So it was all a bit turbocharged. Depth charged, whatever. All the outer planets have been involved. Maybe something that each of you needed to tackle/reveal/address (Venus in headstrong and direct Aries yes) came up in the form of this interpersonal association. And or… Read more »

PiMM Member
Pi

Also, sorry to hear that it went to crap. Such things are never pleasant. Ideally, there is some kind of developmental conversation as everything moves out of shadow? Venus is yet to make first Pluto square of 2017 too.

PiMM Member
Pi

Or if communication is off the table, at least some valuable insight and so on.

Jokerman
Jokerman

I’m hoping for a ‘developmental conversation’ around then. Every other aspect of the Venus retro was pertinent.

PiMM Member
Pi

It sounded to me like there wasn’t much left to talk about.?

Jokerman
Jokerman

Apart from an absolute ghosting. It had been all systems go…..then nothing.

I recall thinking, prior to the Venus Rx, that it was going to be a good thing. You see I go on what people say. It’s how trust is built.

Fuqn idiot me.

PiMM Member
Pi

it is possible that the pattern of ‘speaking up / expressing needs’ is actually a threatening process (family, past relationships), and/or, is pointless because what one wants is rendered null and void by others (family), or brings about a cascade of crap and blame in the process of someone trying to pwn u. This is also partly built into the patriarchy. I know you don’t buy into this, and I am very happy about that, but it very much remains the dominant paradigm in which almost all of us exist, and subjugation can be found even in the dust motes… Read more »

PiMM Member
Pi

Or maybe she’s a lying shedevil. Either way, the outcome is the same at your end. Point being, Good luck.

skarabMM Member
skarab

I could be entirely wrong, but from previous comments you also seem to have a culture divide going on, non? In some cultures – esp certain Asian ones, saying the truth, if it is negative, they say nothing because it’s an offence or rude to openly disagree with some one or to say “no”. It can be v frustrating for us philistine westerners who act with much more bluntness & cannot read their more subtle signals.

skarabMM Member
skarab

Also, you seem to be dating the all-important family as well (even if you haven’t met them). Not easy, Pf.

Jokerman
Jokerman

Yes. You are right, broadly, on both counts. 5 family members, that I’ve never met, had @ big influence.

On the the truth thing she had a Focal 2H Moon, in Sagg, that Sqd her generational Uran / Pluto and Sun, Mars, Merc and Chiron; 8 Staggered T Squares!!!

I wasn’t blunt with her but I do value the truth. My Multi-Uranity likes peeps from different cultures

Anyway I busted myself for her (all my Cancer n Virgo stuff).

Jokerman
Jokerman

17/26 of the combined major placements were in Water GT kited by our Virgo stuff. Yes, culture does appear to have trumped the Astro.

skarabMM Member
skarab

So many things can trump the Astro in relationships. And on the other hand, if i had paid heed to a couple of astrologers (one Vedic & one Western) when i met my multi Libra – i would have run for the hills & not have experienced this great relationship … what can i tell you? I love the Astro for character analysis/propensities & looking at events or cycles to better understand them – but personally, i’m not convinced about it’s use for relationship outcomes. I’ve seen “perfect” compatibility charts where the couple end up almost killing each other –… Read more »

PiMM Member
Pi

predictability is over-rated.

PiMM Member
Pi

LOL me saying this on an astro site tho

marsbar
marsbar

so much agreement. My so called “perfect” match was a fucking a-hole who broke my heart and then proceeded to break my possessions and stalk me. Nope. nope. nope. Astrology is good for many things but not outcomes of romance matters.

Jokerman
Jokerman

I’m a little more straightened now. Still I know I’m more attracted to Yin more than Yang in women.

marsbar
marsbar

When people over the age of 30 ghost someone they have been on more than 5 dates with, i just throw up my hands: this is why we can’t have nice things!! Wtf?

Fuck ghosting! What happened to manners?

PiMM Member
Pi

The advent of the Teflon(TM) heart.

Jokerman
Jokerman

(Not trying to be silly)- but doesn’t Teflon stop ALL things from sticking?

PlutoMoonMM Member
PlutoMoon

I don’t expect things to get totally on the right track until Venus goes into Taurus. Even the 19th won’t erase this Rx. During this retro I a) got a bad haircut, by a Taurus (I’m a Libra), b) spent waaaay more money than I should have, all on credit cards, c) my diet went haywire, and d) I crushed hard on a super-hot dude at the gym only to find out he’s 20 years younger than me and basically not interested. Sigh. I’m ready for Venus to just move into Venus’ “safe zone” already! Gah, fml.

LiberatingVenusMM Member
LiberatingVenus

This is so textbook, it’s scary – yes, when you are Venusian (Sun or Ascendant = Taurus or Libra), it pays to give extra attention to Venus retrograde. When she’s “out-of-phase”, so are you/your love life/your finances/your aesthetic senses inclined to be because you take your cues off her energy. Thankfully this is only once every year and a half and it only lasts a matter of weeks, not an eternity. Re: this Rx specifically, it kicked off in the sign of Venus’ detriment (Aries) – that’s pretty much a dead-ringer for hot-n-fast relationships that have lots of chemistry but… Read more »

torolocoMM Member
toroloco

Lol it’s a good time for casual dating though. I’ve never been the dating type, but I had been having the best time with flirtations & one nighters. Just best to avoid the lower qi/love zombie propects.

Not only that but demons coming out in existing relationships has been affecting me secondhand as well. Going from an ex to a sidechick (behind my back), was draining the ego and heart.

torolocoMM Member
toroloco

This sounds eerily similar to my situation, and I’m also Venus ruled (Taurus), but my natal Venus is squared by 4 outer planets. I was with an Aqua that fits all of tbe above description. This started around this time last year. It wasn’t until mid-March this year that I find out he had been 2-timing me. Sometime in April, while both Venus & Mercury were rx, he calls me and tells me our 4-8 month relationship/fwb/whatevs had all been “in my head”. Whateffingever. Him requesting certain nudes is not something I’d make up. I went into that relationship because… Read more »

Catherine Cox
Catherine Cox

Mine is 18th may too. I have Neptune in the twelfth house in Libra conjunct my ascendant and opposing my sun which is in 7th house . Seeing what I want to see etc talk about lilac wine! Unfortunately it also seems they see what they want to see and when I fall off my pedastal all hell breaks loose!

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

It took me 21 years to get rid of a low-Leo male. I was under the influence of Neptune transiting my 5th house for most of our relationship. I’m a natal Venus-square-Neptune type. You’re lucky you caught on quickly.

Unicorn SparklesMM Member
Unicorn Sparkles

I’m still giggling about the skid mark quote.

Neptune goggles. Like beer goggles, but the hangover is worse.

Kel
Kel

Bahahaha skid marks and Neptune hangovers. The only cure can be a Virgo moon

Jokerman
Jokerman

I shower twice a day in winter, thrice in summer. I’ve a 1st decan Virgo cluster.

emgMM Member
emg

Oh boy do I know a Virgo moon ! I can’t imagine a cluster ,!?!?!?!? My Aqua is hyper clean Virgo moon. Me…a very moist cancer one !!

scorpiodawnMM Member
scorpiodawn

cant believe the 19th is FINALLY only a wk away…phew!

Carey
Carey

This comes to mind! Narrow escape, you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpHkt3dyHMg

kriblackMM Member
kriblack

LMFAO! Yes!, this is exactly my experience of Lust Goggles! Ha, ha. My friend calls the waking up part of the experience Getting the Ick. As in oh my god, were walking down the street holding hands and everything was perfect and suddenly I got the Ick. Like instantaneous lust fog lifting.

On the other hand, now I’m thinking I wouldn’t mind being on the other end of that, with some lovesick fool completely blind to MY trollish side.

Aw. Merlin, such a silly, enjoyable show. Thanks for that, it cheered me up on a grumpy morning.

Jokerman
Jokerman

That is fuqn funny. Of course I’ve never done anything like that.

Jokerman
Jokerman

But ever body has their native behaviours.

vikingwomanMM Member
vikingwoman

I think Mystic nailed it. In falling in lust, everyone is under optimistic hope…as you gain greater intimacy that longing turns into its manifestations…sometimes with mixed results. When you take your lilac goggles off which started during the eclipse, you saw into him more clearly. This is the gift of courtship; the realization that “he ain’the The One”. Every ended relationship helps you define what you really want in “The One”. This is the gift if Venus Direct and NN in Leo…helping you determine what YOU want in an adult, loving, individuated man. Good luck!

Milksun
Milksun

Crabby-Bull and Mystic thank you for sharing Venus retro thoughts. You dodged a bullet and should applaud yourself for bowing out immediately when he showed his true colors! He certainly tried to play you, but I think your standards are still strong, this man was just very good at masking his low side to get into your heart (bed). I wish you luck and healing, and a sexier, more fun relationship down the line. I’ve been through an uberfuqd season too and reeling still from end of a relationship. I think the eclipse in March is what set it into… Read more »

HermeswitchMM Member
Hermeswitch

Oh. He realised you were more than him so couldn’t compete. Well done you. Keep it up. The right one will turn up.

PlutoMoonMM Member
PlutoMoon

I second this.

flowerchild
flowerchild

I third this! And, do not ‘rapidly back track on his vileness’ after Venus goes out of shadow. You’ve already seen the light, the veil has been lifted, the mask ripped away. You are woke to this situation now, no reason to go back into denial or strap on any delusions. You’ve done the work…now don’t look back! You can do much MUCH better for yourself! Every time I’ve given someone a second chance against my better judgement, it’s turned out worse than the first time around. Trust your instincts! I have Capricorn through my 7th house, too, and Venus… Read more »

marsbar
marsbar

Wow! I second Mystic. Sounds like Neptune to me plus some unfortunate timing.

Crabby-Bull, do you normally get involved with people who turn out to be the opposite or was this a rare thing? Sounds awful!

JacquiMM Member
Jacqui

This sounds like my first school teenage romance, beautiful (handsome) strong, clever, romantic then self obsessed, grotty and unstable. My rotten fruit had fruit flies buzzing in lazy circles and the odour of pathetic.

Ps as a kid I obsessed with being a mermaid, I would write wish list, of my world on the steamy mirror, waiting for the bath tub to fill…No dangerous sharks, no little brothers, beautiful lush hair and lots of dolphin friends to play with

Kel
Kel

I love your mermaid bath game. Totes doing that next time I’m having a moon induced moment of despondency xx

Lovelee
Lovelee

May 19. Love it!
Please keep us posted Crabby-Bull.