Bride Of Saturn

Filed in Saturn

This IS a classic Saturn transit moment.

There is always ONE task that you fling yourself into with fervor, the sudden desire for functional structures, intense clarity, a proper plan and well, yes, fabulous cabinets.

It is usually more that you’ve got your Saturn Vision assessing the entire terrain of your life all of a sudden, as opposed to some chilly Saturn wind. In fact, it’s more like you’re a sci-fi character having some internal microchip activated.

Unplanned and on the very DAY of my Saturn Return, I got an accountant. It felt urgent. Previously i had attempted to get out of any conversation involving anything of an accounting nature, it felt like an allergy.

Anyway, Saturn (and Uranus!) are big in May and the May Monthly Horoscopes are posted!  The whole month is like an existential crisis turned opportunity, as you will see!

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84 thoughts on “Bride Of Saturn

  1. A thousand times YES. Saturn is right on my Sun, and I’m relishing every moment of it.* I’ve been studying Saturnine methods of self improvement from hardcore strength training to the Wim Hof method. Crafting grueling exercise regimes, studying proper form, and analyzing the musculature of the body.

    I feel as if I’m walking around in a totally new body and mind; the transformation has been both physical and mental. I feel reborn. I’m realizing that if I don’t put my body through acute stress, my body will experience chronic stress.

    *Saturn is my ruling planet. Your results may vary.

    • I’m definitely going to look into this (I have a lotttt of Saturn in my chart) and I feel a desperate need for physical discipline but haven’t found something that really grabs me yet. Thanks!

      • Best of luck to you! I’m hesitant to discuss this with friends and coworkers because I understand how insufferable it can sound to someone on a different path. And yet, I also see how helpful it is to watch others willingly submit to the Saturnine discipline.

        I feel you on the chart makeup. I’ve got four planets in Cap (including Saturn) in the first house, and a Cap rising. So this transit woke up something elemental within me.

        • Typing that comment actually brought it home to me just how much I’m craving discipline. I’m coming up to my first Saturn return, my Sun, Venus, Saturn (snap!), Neptune and Uranus are all in Cap, so the Saturn influence in my life is huge and even more so right now! I rebelled against it for years but strict routine and discipline do work incredibly well for me (when I can be bothered to implement them…)

          This has given me the inspiration back to reform my life and embrace my Saturnine side.

          • Same here with the Saturn on my sun, plus Cap stellium. Same with the discipline – I took up serious weight training and powerlifting even, the moment Saturn even began to hover near Sagittarius. The discipline and the acute stress does help. Also, structure. Especially at home. Bats for a Sag but hey..

            • i’m in the same boat, y’all. saturn, neptune, and uranus in first house cap. usually abhor structure but am also wildly craving it and so just feel frustratingly stuck. one hundred percent need to implement a fitness regime to
              combat chronic mundane stress. thank you for this!

            • I took up weight training properly last year/2015 and its the best thing ever. The discipline and eating structure has given me life when everything else is crazy I feel so at peace in the weight room like a zen practice its great and strangely spiritual on a certain level-? seeing consistant results and creating a strong mind body practice that builds me in a way mentally yoga does not.

              • I have never had such a strong urge to go to the IRON as therapy again as now. I have started very gently and slowly but the benefits to my system- psychological and hormonal were instant. It’s shock how effective two twenty minute sessions of weights are during Saturn -Chiron induced wobbles. I think there’s something pertinent in the process of lifting a heavy iron weight and tearing the muscle to grow and gaining strength during the rest period. It just works.

                • agreed, I´ve been doing a very slow growth build into this and its amazing for a mental tear and rest process like you say. Saturn Chiron Mars for sure

    • I am enjoying the misery of grit lately and tutting to myself that I’m a bit annoyed I never understood earlier how character forming the whole Saturnine thing of grit is.
      I have the gassiest, most punch drunk on hubris type of chart imaginable and no experience of Saturn whatsoever but I am relishing the hardcore THIS IS WHAT MAKES A CHAMPION vibe of being broke, unhappy and as down as it’s possible to be and finding the will to prevail.
      It’s a great realisation that I don’t need to feel good or be satisfied or even happy to persist. There’s a freedom and a resilience I’m accessing which I can’t share anywhere else because I know I’d be completely misunderstood.
      It’s a subtle thing because I kind of want to keep it to myself and just see if I can keep it up. Obviously I feel wiped out and pathetic most of the time so if anyone threw something I’d said above back at me I’d burst into tears and or lash out and say something totally regrettable but I am finding a place to land thanks to Saturn and Chiron and it does feel more real than the hot air ballon I’ve always occupied

  2. I’m not getting the DMs at the moment so I don’t know what they’re saying, but I find it interesting that you are not commenting on Saturn square Chiron here. It is almost exact at the moment. It’s the second pass of three – the last one was over the xmas new year period. The last in November I think.

    I am in the natural healing field and very old pain is absolutely front and centre at the moment. Has been for weeks. People are being triggered all over the place. World unrest has accelerated. The US chart has been set off by the aspect. And yet it feels like it’s hardly a blip on the radar here. I would have thought that you would be feeling it Mystic, as it’s so close to your Pisces sun.

    Anyway, Pluto sq Uranus got the Zap Zone and Saturn sq Neptune got whatever it was called. How about Saturn square Chiron getting some deserved status. You are excellent at naming these things! Maybe something about “acceptance” or “being real” with that ancient and deep ache!?

    • The Saturn-Chiron business is a major theme of the horoscopes right now, and has been in the daily emails as well.

      Your post made me think about how I’ve been getting really proactive about tackling some lingering upper back/shoulder pain over the last week, which feels wonderful and like part of a deeper healing (I started to have it a few years ago during Saturn in Scorpio death/rebirth time, and it’s been where I’ve held stress ever since).

      • Good to hear the DMs and horoscopes are over it. To me it has been the theme for the year. It’s good what you’re doing with the shoulder. Kudos.

    • That is so interesting what you say about very old pain. The last couple of weeks my old ‘Saturn neck’ has returned, triggered by a couple of nights at my parents’ place on the very uncomfortable spare bed. I lived with this pain for years and years before finally sorting it as Saturn began transiting through my 4th (first square my Venus then my sun-Saturn then my Chiron) with a combo of total life reconstruction and starting a mode of bodywork.
      The bodywork has transformed me inside and out, and led to the best fitness I’ve ever had but the last 2-3 weeks it’s been back to square one. Enlightening in that it has reminded me how far I’ve come – pain was the norm and now I barely remember what it was like. My Saturn-sq-Chiron issues have mostly been emotional however your comment has prompted me to reconsider some structural issues.

    • I completely agree re old pain realisation- this weekend it has dawned on me that the reason I have such a strong reaction to the difficult person at work and I can almost anticipate how the will behave is because it is exactly like my abusive ex husband

      The lying, twisting things around so the are never to blame, the speaking to me with utter contempt, the physical intimidation, the slovenly environment they create, all of it just like him…. NOW I see

      I have made a plan (thanks Time Lord) and am feeling much better now (thanks Chiron)

  3. Looking forward to the opportunity part of this crisis.

    I have so much to actually get on with beyond this abusive company relationship I am trying to get out of and now the house with the “now I have my chance no one else is home for a week” creepy housemate BS. I am emotionally and mentally exhausted. Days are like weeks right now and not to mention the dicks from my past casually texting me. Can they smell my stress or something and hope I will cave? other people have disappeared entirely. My nice cabinet is my ass from all the weightlifting and dates with punchingbag to cope with stress I have trying to keep shit professional in the face of least professional whatever ever. Boudnary pissing is becoming a contest. Having some kind of revival of a younger self whenever in trouble dodgy people would try to capitalise as hard as fuck on your situation and personal boundaries in the hope you have no self esteem and will give them whatever. Is this my chiron saturn leak? abuse in your boundaries to kick forever? fuck this.

    • I am laughing WITH YOU.
      Laughing too strong. Smiling wryly along is better.
      But there’s a relief in getting to this site after a week of feeling like conversational pity party looking for a location and deftly avoiding all human interaction that I can because ugh when I converse with other earthlings and sorry but yes, particularly the male variety I feel like the only person who isn’t high on spacedust or chilled on benzodiazepines or drinking the proverbial coolaid and chanting positive mantras in Tony Robbin’s voice.
      And I don’t believe any of the people I know are into any of the above but it FEELS that way to me.
      It’s a bad dream.
      I woke up in the 90’s and I’m 12 or something
      Help

      • I had a fair bit of Ra to get out there, yeah boundary awareness and constant negotiations/conversation where there should just be a line going YO, I´m a line.

        Some times our feelings are correct and some days you need to avoid interactions with some people because you know its going to be bollucks. I´m just always amazed when its on your terrain stuff. I kicked difficult interpersonal a long time ago but I have less control over house-work so I´m replanting. Hopefully things get more chill for you too

  4. No way, this is totally me. We are at the tail end of a kitchen remodel and my life HAS gone south while my handmade custom hickory cabinets are total badass.

    This project has been going on for six months and has been more expensive and more stressful than I imagined. Now that we’re cleaning up and finishing up while trying to get back to normal, I feel like I have been in a time warp where time stood still in the back ground while I attended day to day matters.

    Saturn has been in my second house: opposed my Mars Lilith, hit my moon Neptune, opposed my vertex, hit my Eros, and is now opposing my Venus Jupiter. I have a lot in my Gemmy 8th. And I’ve felt every damn bump.

    • i just became a homeowner a year and a half ago and my kitchen is mostly fine and i can’t afford renos currently. but every single day for the past couple of weeks all i can think about is remodelling it. i have done a few minor things like get new furnace grates for the floor and that is wonderful, but wow every imperfection is right in my face right now.

      • We had to do the kitchen, the cabinets were starting to fall apart. We did it as inexpensive as possible but it always ends up being more with those little ‘nickel and dime’ expenses. It’s fun to daydream and look for inspiration while you wait though.

  5. Chiron return with Saturn squaring natal Chiron……..yay!

    Chiron in 10th and Saturn transiting my 6th. Definitely dealing with some health issues right now but it’s long term chronic stuff coming to a head, and I’m finally getting some help and insight on it all, and there have been improvements. Work and career are f**ked right now….I don’t have much income, and I’m trying to go into a new career direction.

    And….haha, some house improvements are happening, too, though through big big battles with landlords. There will be a completion on all of this soon, though, and I’m looking forward to that!

  6. lol i had this moment last wk…
    suddenly had the urge to sort and clean everything on the top of my cupboards…i was soo focused i was topless! yes, topless cleaning!
    my boyfriend said it was the last thing he expected to see…he enjoyed the wobble lol…think it was a period thing tho, coz i got it a few days ltr…there was a bit of a manic element to it lol, like i was possessed…not sure abt the astrology of it lol…

  7. Gem Moon goes void at 27 Gem Opposite Saturn on Galactic Center and square Chiron- 5:30 ish PM EDT. So my mum used to warn of “The tyranny of the weak.” (With DT it is a great pun.)

    Chiron can be your Achilles tendon, but also where you expect extra attention, treatment, because of your schtick. As In: You are so much better at cooking and have a gorgeous house, why don’t you host again.”-

    ATM avoiding frantic calls from Toro distant fam- calls hourly- now calling my teens too. Learned the hard way- she calls- demands constant attention. My old self would extenuate and want to be seen as “nice”. Preferring my sanity. Let myself be bullied for years. No more. This Libra has Saturn Vision.

    Back to Kondo Ville. My clothes are done- on to bedding and towels.

    Happy Weekend !

    • Chiron just passed its natal self and is now smack-bang on top (conjunct?) you guessed it SATURN, and I have a pain in my neck that no-one can be bothered to rub out, might have to pay for it.

      Saturn and Chiron in Pisces 2nd H and Aqua rising

      Feeling like I need to be “realizing that if I don’t put my body through acute stress, my body will experience chronic stress.”

  8. You posted monthly horoskopes the day before your usual post- yay! Thank you MM. I am DONE with April – thank you and goodbye. What a rollecoastet it has been. Every single week – I found the job – I lost the job. Started new study – coarse got canned. Doors were opening and slam shut in my face. I got up and dusted myself off. Waited for Venus to station and then did my hair. ‘Reality- checked my entire life, put new plans in place. This is My month and I am ready for it!

    • I hear this. Seriously rollercoaster is right. I´ve had the same but different scenario, everything has changed, radically, and its taken all of my energy just to mentally and emotionally navigate through it. I´ve been hustling like a demon to push for housing and employment sans the ropeo people keep trying to put around my neck. My whole mission back from Asia was to create a more peaceful lifestyle but I think ive worn out my entire adrenal glands in 4 weeks. Reality check, noble intentions. Here´s to building better foundations and not going crazy

  9. I’m thinking good stuff. Saturn & Uran are Grand Trining my Merc Cj Uran.

    “The bus comes when its boiled.”

  10. Saturn has just crossed into my 5th, finishing up aeons of Saturn and Mars going through my 4th. Only now am I considering remodelling my house although I’ve been here for nearly three years. Currently getting quotes for a new bathroom, kitchen and outdoor area to make the place 100 per cent right for me. I feel like I’ve been squatting, or house-sitting for someone else – on some unconscious level waiting for the phone call from my old life to tell me it was all a dream and I can go home now. Something has certainly shifted and now I know this is my home, I love it and I plan on staying for a long time.

    My ‘bride of Saturn’ moment came yesterday, to do with my finances. Things are good, thanks to Saturn lessons in my 4th but I really need to next-level the whole thing to achieve the freedom from the psychopath farm that is my day job.

    • Holy shit chrysalis,
      “on some unconscious level waiting for the phone call from my old life to tell me it was all a dream and I can go home now.”

      This is the space I have been in for the last few months. I’m wondering if it is the dark side of what can be an impossibly duty-bound Capricorn moon, enslaving us emotionally to non-fulfilling environments. Strong words I know, but when I examine my own schtick in the context of other ways of being, I find that I’m getting better at seeing the cracks in my own brittle argument about a particular type of “responsibility” and “work”. Or more specifically, the ways I’m which I allow myself to get emotionally bound to that (…perspective is everything).
      The current source of income is about to change for practical reasons, but it’s been a real eye opener on how I exist, including that nebulous sacrificial Neptune on the job -realisation I had.

      I think I actually (accidentally??) Took the call from Old Life – its manifestations and justifications, habits and spaces – and that sinking feeling as I realised we have almost nothing in common any more. It’s a bit strange because I’m actually getting in contact with my much-earlier dreams and preferences but this time with a looser consciousness and a strengthening sense of self belief, as well as being 20 years older. Some kind of psychic /psychological crowbar to loosen the wreckage. Jaws of life. Fuq, it’s like climbing out of a tar pit in a fog white-out with only my own something and sometimes a lightning bolt to light the way. From the outside stuff looks possibly normal. From in here, it’s all the metaphors above.

      • I wonder if it’s the combo of Neptune / Saturn / Chiron action in Pisces making us super-sensitive and aware of the effect the worldy choices can have on a fish psyche?
        Pluto is half way through Cap now so must be affecting your moon (late-ish Cap if I remember rightly.). My Cap moon is 15 degrees and I felt the effects pretty soon after he moved into Cap.
        He will be agitating for greater authenticity even if you aren’t sure what it looks like yet.
        I totally get where you are at with the ‘getting in touch with much-earlier dreams’. I am doing it too,..stuff I did without thinking when much younger because it felt right. This time on my own terms. I’m fortunate enough to have a second chance to finish something important and am bringing my new self to the challenge. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to complete it knowing what I know now, and free of a lifetime of delusions about what a creative life was supposed to look like, and finally free of the burdens of other people’s critical opinions. I’m a completely different person.
        Good luck with your cube farm sitch – hope it’s better than the one that hasn’t been working for you. I am on a Cap moon mission to be debt-free and as soon as that happens I’ll be making some quite radical changes. xx

        • thanks – i’d like to keep the cube farm, toxic as it is, a little longer but changes are afoot … not keen to be broke again just at this point either. good luck with the cap moon plan X

          thanks for the pluto moon pep talk too. i have so many issues with Mother and related concepts that I have tried my best to confront and take apart, coming off the back of a pluto square and IC square, & uranus pluto IC opposition, i would like to hope that i’ve really gone through a lot of this now. Saturn-moon too, before that. Lol, I might not even HAVE a moon after all of this.

          awareness of the effect that worldly choices can have on a fish psyche. yes. very well put

          • OH GOD Saturn-moon yes, that’s coming up. LOL. SOS. (Sick of Saturn)

            Broke is no fun. They can keep their starving artist BS. I think it was Julia Cameron who said (more eloquently obvs) how can anyone produce their best work when they are awake at night worrying about how they will pay their rent. xx

            • Errrggghhh SOS ans SOC.

              Just realised Chiron is EXACT my degree Piscean Sun. I’m just not my own best mate, feeling so over myself! And lonely, for no real actual reason. My forays into social life are not bringing my good self with, it’s like she left to go to the islands and have fun, but she’s not writing postcards! I’m sensitive and tired, waah waah and i even hate my complaining right now.

              So thanks, you guys make me feel i’m piscean-not-alone xx

              Goddess almighty, how LONG does Chiron take to move off degrees??? Bride of Saturn and Kid of Kiron 🙁

  11. Neck pain as well, exacerbated at change if season.
    Medic said arthritis, but my not an arthritic sorta person. Feel the need for cranial adjustment or chiro.
    A new Memory Foam pillow gives some relief, but yeah, ‘Saturn neck’s a bitch as it impinges on morale, sure seems a manifestation of Chiron-Saturn uncomfortableness.
    Have found A Peroni at 6pm (beer o’clock) helps and now beer has been proven to be better than a pain pill, but 2 pints of it! Waaay too much for my size. Apparently works on the anxiety that hurting causes.
    Downside is liver damage although painkillers are as harmful methinks.
    Sheesh would be asleep with ONE pint!

    • I recon a Peroni beats the hell out of a pain pill.
      Hopefully it will ease up a little now.
      If it’s inflammation then both those options would make it worse for my body. I remember when my shoulder went all Saturn Chiron on me at the beginning of my Chiron square Ascendant and opposite my sun in April 2015 and again in March 2016 during some other Saturn -Chiron induced lifestyle restructuring event.
      It’s a father and Sun – er son bone crunching team hey?

  12. My version of this was going out and buying the sideboard of my dreams with my last $$$ -who needs to eat? (it was on sale…).

    Re-Kondo -ing (started letting stuff creep in) has had to be put aside for the duration of an assignment I have been ignoring but I am itching to get back to the organising my cupboards (omg where is my life???)

    Thanks to this post and the comments Ive just realised I have a backlog of situations I’ve been ignoring where I need to point out some boundaries to others (sigh).
    Ridiculously Long Ago Ex is still making a serious play for my attention ( bordering on creepy actually) turns out he’s actually a nice guy – but has not moved forward at all with his life in the last 14 YEARS!!!
    How is that even possible? (Having major Uranus action in my chart makes my life just a series of dramatic shifts and changes – I can’t fathom those who don’t). Feel like I have to dumb down the conversation every time we speak, so thinking its a “no” on that one.

    Much younger work mate who decided she was my friend has been pushing into my energy for a while now. Gotta nip that in the bud (nicely).

    The Forbidden Ex suddenly reappeared as if nothing has changed -almost slid down that slippery slope, but in the process of reconfiguring that dynamic by laying down some ground rules…feels a bit scary (what if he disappears for ever?) but I was thinking something the other day like “in order to win, you have to be prepared to loose”. Ie. stand by your boundaries no matter what tantrums people throw and in the end you’ll only be left with the sane, functional ones… 🙂

        • yes! “Not Your Problem” – if I did cross stitch I’d make a little hoop thingy of that and hang it on the back of the toilet door…in fact I might just write it out in texta and stick it on the back of the toilet door..

          • hahaha! love the cross stitch idea 😀

            remember i can sound all hard-ass cap moon but i am also a pisces so i kind of veer between “nope” and “yeah i really understand / sympathetic noises”

            but most of all if someone is giving you static about choices You make for Your health and wellbeing, well, fuq em. that doesn’t sound like respect to me. good luck! hope everyones comes through the right way in the end.

  13. Is there something in the air that is triggering something very scorpy-vibing? you should see my playlist right now. or am i having a flash of haute-emo neptune / mars. <3

    LOL typo mrs instead of mars. Neptune Mrs… bride of neptune? ha. scuba gear and dive knife at the ready.

  14. I have five planets in Sagittarius. All my structural work has been to get me more freedom- but oh! the forms! oh bureaucracy!

  15. wow mystic – the illustration for todays email is beautiful – made me feel better about the all-nighters Ive been pulling recently 😀 And the Marcus Aurelius quote is magic. I got up around 5 the other morning to do my tai chi/chi kung practice and went outside for a change – it was still dark, the stars were bright, the air was crisp and ” dust of earthly life” was truely washed away – I have never felt so cool and crystal clear, on all levels…star light is my favourite <3 <3 <3

  16. “Saturn square Chiron makes it literally impossible for you to overlook flaws or dysfunctional dynamics in any relationship”. Oh dear lord.
    In the past weeks – and it’s getting stronger and stronger – I have been feeling as if I walk around wirhout my armor. Actually, without my own skin to protect me. So every fight, dysfunctional dynamic or painful scars between 2 peeps hurt me as if I was one of them. Which means I probably am.

    • This is pretty much verbatim what I was going to write and what I have been expressing verbally to myself and a very select few other people this week.
      Isn’t it an interesting barometer of whether someone who asks how you are is at?
      In terms of their intention and level of self awareness?
      I’m not expecting everyone to feel exposed and vulnerable simply because I do but it’s interesting when they ask how you are but don’t want to know.
      I’ve noticed people who aren’t genuinely interested or who have a shady reason for making contact are incredibly threatened by a calm statement like “tired, searching for meaning “. Or “struggling with identity and experiencing layers of myself I feel simultaneously awkward about sharing and excited about. It’s challenging and I’m glad you asked me. How are you?”
      Cue deafening silence or worse…the platitudes..
      Spare me the patronising affirmations please!
      It’s weird how uncomfortable even “spiritual and enlightened friends ” are with my having the inner confidence to question myself and the courage to challenge my beliefs about who I am and what that means.

      I’m having a serious moment of gratitude for the Saturn- Chiron square.
      Ha
      I hope I can remember it!

      • Sorry I mistyped that.
        I meant to say, an interesting barometer of a person’s intentions towards you and whether they want to know how you are or are just using it as conversational lube?
        I squished my sentences…

  17. I might have misunderstood the material I read but random google stalking of Chiron – yeah I know..but is it true he was Saturn’s (Kronos) son and borne of rape?
    It made so much sense when I read that!

  18. It’s such a relief honestly to find it’s not just me who feels the Saturn – Chiron thing so intensely.
    I was beginning to believe it might just be some strange unidentifiable malaise and the rest of the world was sipping cocktails and posting photoshopped selfies while exhaling their status updates in squeaky helium voices.

    • Invicta Soul Sis,
      Thanx for the acknowledgement of ma neck. After thousands of hours doing bodywork, 20 years of it, ten years of ballet, 30 lessons of pilates, 30 of yoga (all private tuition may i be Cap rising about) but now simplified to regular stretching & dog walking, can say if one has survived the those strict teachers,and the only glitch structurally is a dicky neck, then fill me full of gratitude 🙂
      You too! The price for such flexibility and stamina is minor oui? What you have gained warrants much praise.
      Keep smiling x

  19. Ha
    Just checked my transits and Chiron Opposite Pluto started today.
    Ah yes, no wonder I’m feeling so calm. Napalm in the morning kind of calm.
    Another one for the collection.

  20. Oh, Carrie, I relate.

    Just had Saturn transit my Venus in Sag last year, followed by my Asc in Sag (Saturn went back and forth over them a few times, for extra measure, I suppose). This kicked off a slew of Saturn transits I face for the next four years. My loaded first house includes Sun, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune in Capricorn. Then Mercury in Cap in the second house. (Why, yes, I am a child of the late 80s. Thanks for asking!).

    I’m quite excited to kick off my first Saturn return in Feb. 2018. The Venus/Asc Saturn transits have been a nice warm-up for the ::ahem:: disciplined few years ahead of me.

  21. So I’m feeling a bit self conscious now because yeah, that’s me in the sidebar. Fortunately I’ve never had religion so Michael Stipe is welcome to it but since I’ve been whining about my transits and bleating on about how dreadful and unfair lifer is so much I just wanted to take a moment to share the gratitude and wonder I’ve been sort of surrounded and buoyed by all night. No, sleep and I are on a break and insomnia and I got back together this weekend so I’m still in the honeymoon phase of it all but seriously- this void moon in Cancer yeah? I didn’t even register and eyeroll when I saw it but I guess subconsciously I was girding my psychic loins for more festivities with the conspiracy of crap or whatever but oh no..
    The insights have been landing like – dare I say Pennies From Heaven?
    Literally all night long.
    It started this morning with noticing sensations of discomfort very much in my body as a reaction to some assholery that normally I’d have taken on board as normal or healthy and not have known were only passing as acceptable because I’ve managed my relationship standards so far down over the years and obviously people have been helpful in colluding with my throw Invicta under the bus and follow that shiny thing/ car/ man/ frenemy/ delusional obsession/fantasy relationship/ addiction/ distraction/car thing and helped me pump the gas.
    So I genuinely thought I’d figured all this out years ago and kind of “risen above it” AKA completely abandoned myself and my truth and been seduced, relapsed, binged, gone tropo, on the self awareness project and just had one slice of cake/ shag/ martini/ high interest loan, spending spree etc
    I’m obviously stretching this analogy a bit thin here but hey, it still fits right?
    Amazing that I’d been so focused on my financial situation that I’d completely overlooked the emotional bankruptcy of my life and not been able to see my insane emotional recklessness and wanton squandering of resources. Like how many high interest loans have I taken out in the last few years, or ever actually since AHEM becoming an ADULT?

    That is Saturn laughing in the background
    Oh and Pluto, Uranus and Chiron just showed up too.
    It’s a party!
    I’m drunk on the rush of Pluto and Uranus I think but wow, these outer planets definitely vibe better when there’s more than two in the room. They kind of balance each other out and it all feels right again somehow.
    And I hated my progressed moon in Cancer 8th house transit but I swear this feels ….worth it?

    • Usually takes 36 -48 for any physical-mental-emotional trauma (of any kind)
      to show. The symptoms vary, all degrees, depending on sensitivity.
      Perhaps take a country trip as soon a you are free-er. Why not go for train ride to Glastonbury and look up William Bloom while you are there.
      Wales or Cornwall?
      As a Saggi thing….leave it all behind to sort itself out while you breathe some sweet air.
      Bankruptcy is hideously restrictive, yet so is debt for the morale.

      The Arien Gen x i watch over texted me the other day ‘it sux being a love goddess’. Love it lol 🙂

      • Thinking about relocating to Brighton if I can swing it.
        London is stupidly expensive and I have never felt at home here
        Ocean is calling me

    • “so focused on my financial situation that I´d completely overlooked the emotional bankruptcy”
      that was the theme of my zapzone, easy to do when we separate and compartmentalise everything. I was born deeply emotionally wreckless so this lesson took ages to get because I had associated abandon with freedom as I´ve been good with not getting into debt but missing the whole gambling aspect of my sag moon sq jupiter, venus-neptune conjunction square saturn as exactly that.

      • The recklessness is so much more of an entrenched pattern of denial and learned helplessness that I realized yes. The money is like one head of that hydra.

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