Ask Mystic: Vexed By Venus

Filed in Venus, Ask Mystic

Dear Mystic,

First of all, thank you from bottom of my confused heart for your cosmic guidance and insights. This Venus retrograde has been what feels like a never-ending nostalgia filled trip down bad memory lane. I’ve tried to avoid the potholes. I’ve kept to myself. I’ve kept busy. I slipped up once and e-stalked an ex-boyfriend for 20 minutes to see his wedding photos—they were nice, beautiful bride—but mostly, I’ve conducted myself with a lot of chill, considering the sky is actively working against us in love and relationships, and reminding us of all the “BUT WHY THO” decisions we’ve ever made.

Last month, out of nowhere, I got a message from an old acquaintance I never dated, but knew was interested in me. His backstory is tragic and sad, and I’ve always pitied him, so I wrote him back, foolishly, thus unleashing a barrage of requests to go stay at his house and basically begin what would be a brilliant relationship between the two of us. Wait—what? When I told him I was very busy and unable to do that, he hounded me with me emails and texts, asking questions about music, TV, movies, and anything else he could think of to spark up some of that old rapport we once had. But it’s long gone, and I have moved on. He is and was Love Zombie tripping out on his own undead dreams and unmet needs, poor thing.

While dealing with the guilt and confusing feelings produced by this man’s continued contact, I received a phone call from an unknown number. A different man, a different life. This one was an actual ex-boyfriend—from many years ago. This was a man with whom the physical intensity was strong and real, but that’s where it all ended. He was into kung fu and chem trails, and I was so blinded by our insane physical connection (he’s Mars in Pisces, I’m Venus in Pisces, ahem…), I overlooked the lack of a mental one. What did this man want, you ask? After figuring out who it was (it took me five full minutes), he asked me for a favor. I was to go to an address, collect a box from his “friend,” and deliver this box to his other “friend.” What?! Why? What’s in the box? All good questions. Because I once loved this shady fellow, it took all of my willpower to turn him down, to let him down, even though it has been years since we broke up.

After I let him know I am not a professional courier, but that they do exist, I got off the phone and got angry. I’m sure there were drugs or something illegal in the box. Of course I blocked his number, but WHAT is this Venus Retrograde? Tempting us to gaze back at boyfriends past with rose coloured glasses is one thing, calling me up to be a drug mule and reminding me of how weak and easily duped I used to me is something else entirely. As a Taurus with Venus in Pisces and Mars in Libra, I know I’m particularly impacted by Venus retros—but this one takes the cake. My question is: WHY is this happening and WHEN will it end?

Yours truly,

Vexed by Venus

Dear Vexed By Venus,

Congratulations on executing a perfect textbook Venus Retrograde!  So the answer to the  “why” is that this is an astral passage to illuminate your love life to date and empower you in the now. Read or re-read my special rant re this from a few months ago here and check your Horoscopes for cues re all this.  And yes i have had various mysterious re-connects from past love interests, such strange reach-outs so as to feel energetically more like an alien encounter. Or at the very least like you need to sage the house and tip a line of salt across the threshold.

It’s super strong now as Venus is stationing at the end of the Zodiac between Doctor Chiron and Wise Athene. All April the Love Goddess is in aspect to Saturn – Lord of Time. Of course, you’re getting object lessons in previous choices, current strengths and what constitutes or would constitute a formidable alliance.  The stronger and more authentic you get the less you can countenance a flimsy, “colorful” lovers.  They morph into anecdotes, at best. As an older woman once warned me when i was a teenager professing my love for “bad boys”;  bad boys turn into bad men.  Seriously how fuqing insulting to ring you up and try to sleaze-compel you into doing his dirty and no doubt dangerous errands.  Spray the phone with Tea Tee or something. Anyway, everything now is significant; the omens, the dialogue, the realizations, the releases, the dreams, the Everything.

And as for when it ends, Venus turns Direct in a few days but i am not counting this Venusian Voodoo as over until May 19, when she emerges from Shadow.  So any retrograde is the opportunity to reshape your perspective and update your personal settings, perhaps via a different interpretation, based on your contemporary self. For example, if a part of your psyche or wardrobe is still stuck in an eight years ago paradigm, Venus Retro is the “update” prompt.

From the very interesting Stealing Fire – How Silicon Valley, the Navy SEALs and Maverick Scientists Are Revolutionizing The Way We Live & Work“The past is less an archived library of what really happened and more a fluid directors commentary we’re constantly updating.”

And I am sure i speak for everyone here when i say congratulations on spending just 20 minutes of Venus Retrograde doing your “research” lol.


Image: Cornelis Van Haarlem

Access Horoscopes, Insta-Tarot, Oracle and More

All Access Membership – This is not a recurring payment – you are not locked in.

Email Mystic if you would like to trial for a few weeks first.

42 thoughts on “Ask Mystic: Vexed By Venus

  1. Oh wow. Just wow.

    Think of it as venus doing you a favour, rather than “actively working against you”….

    Venus retro REALLY brings anything ex-related (especially imo, unresolved stuff) back into your orbit.

    Have you considered that the unresolved side of things could be on the bloke’s side this time?

    It sounds like the old facquaintance and the kung fu drug dealer are both not over you. Romantically in the case of the acquaintance, and the druggie bloke clearly sees you as some kind of ‘old version’ of yourself.

    YOU handled venus retro brilliantly (no tears or phone calls over the exes wedding photos)…but these two blokes need to get their shit sorted. They’re not your problem and don’t feel guilty.

    And that quote is SOOOO bang on and zeigiest-y!!!!

    “The past is less an archived library of what really happened and more a fluid directors commentary we’re constantly updating.”


    The way we see the past is constantly changing. Ever seen two director’s commentaries on the same movie? They can be soooo different.

  2. Yes, really well done on that NO to the ex. Very shady but also I understand why it didn’t happen instantly but was so important to actually SAY.
    Like you needed to say no, get angry and then take on the upgraded version of how Venus energy works in your life from now on.
    It’s healthy and I’ve had very similar experiences with random guys that had energetic hooks from the past stuck in the door or whatever.
    It’s such a boundary reassessment time for me too. It’s like “this was always true for me and yet I wasn’t honouring myself and my truth or knowing and believing in my worth because I was attracted and somehow didn’t feel deserving of both.

  3. Vexed By Venus, your level of steely awareness and control is impressive. Reminds me Psyche walking through the underworld saying no to all the piteous undead asking for her attention. (Wasn’t it Venus/Aphrodite who put her through all those tests in the first place?) Stay strong!

  4. lovely artwork again MM. I do find what Neptune (?) is holding hilarious, that looks like a powerful big Conch for that little Auger.

  5. I’m just so super in awe of the focused awareness and control and taking-back-the-power shown by Vexed By Venus. My!! My!! Thank you for the lesson.

  6. ALL the posts above just do it for me, as does this letter to Mystic, Mystic’s reply, the feeling of admiration for the shaky steeling of the backbone (what a woman, Letterwriter, strong in your vulnerability, calling down the Couriers of Valkrie).

    My Saturn is in Taurus 6th house natally, squaring Venus in Aqua conjunct IC. And while i took time out to morally support a Depressed Aqua in my lovely neighbourhood and at home yesterday, he pointed out after a few clinical aqua qs to work out his own context, that my love pattern since a defining relationship as an adult, has always been linked to Neptunian darkness (my words, just for here, an open post).

    I’m reading Pandora, as well. You know she is figured in the Tarot card of the Star, highly Aquarian and that star does speak Venus. Emptying and refilling the pond of memory to always freshen stagnation.

    In the middle of revelation myself, just got off my artbookjournal, wrote a goddamn poem, it’s been so long centuries, or decades, but this one had a rhythm like a song, and i never write like that, ever. I hate musicals, i hate rhyming poems. Even though i’m musical. Then i found this post. I’m ever so grateful. Don’t mind me writing out thoughts here, please.

    Just for those of you wondering how long it can take to appreciate Retro Musing on the Loves Past, i have been doing this for i think a decade which has whooshed past and also been excruciating at times, and done so much work on my love / relating self by myself. Then i got this download from Aqua Source. (Buddy does also have Scorpio Moon and Gemini Rising. No, i’m not rolling my eyes that much about it. Forewarned is…nah, it just gives a keen taste of irony on the tongue.)

    Oh and just now in the middle of the work day comes a neighbour whose astro i’ve no idea of but who fuqn walks like a Scorpio/Cancer – and please, i can’t explain that – maybe with some fire. Probably none of those things and if he’s Aquarian i’m going to roll my eyes so hard they become my teeth. He’s not meant to be home, i’m not usually here, and i’m using the outdoor stuff he gave me.

    • Interesting what you said about Pandora and the star tarot card. My experience of Venus retro has been nothing with the ex stuff but pond juju instead. Full moon on my NN currently also visited by Jupiter. Did a tarot spread here just for the 6th (Aries) and 12th house (Libra) since I’m a solar Leo. Got the Star for the 12th house. I have Aqua IC too but no planets, just opposite my sun t-square focal planet. I feel like this is more connect the dots, nebulous something or other for me but hmmm maybe I should consider Pandora.

      Sorry for the ramble but had to comment that your comment stuck out for me. x

  7. Can Venus retro just manifest at work? (love interest is great)
    Got Great new job great new firm in Feb. – Was so excited -then- BAM I just feel like I cannot do anything right. I am SO the newbie.. Cannot wait for something astro to change. It may due to my natal saturn, north node and Chiron partying on in my 6th house with Uranus. Old ways to doing things need to change. It’s not easy.

  8. Sounds like you handled both situations perfectly and upheld your own boundaries and made your own well being a priority and didn’t cave at all to either of them! Good stuff! Who cares about the 20 minutes of stalking, that’s harmless compared to having to fend off direct and difficult contact with these two other guys from the past. Yay, you! 🙂

    Trippy, though, my ex lover guy that took me forever to get over was Taurus Sun with Venus in Pisces (conjunct my Mars), and his Mars in Libra. Wonder what his Venus retro has been like?! haha!

    I haven’t had any real contact or run in’s with past bf’s or lovers, thankfully. It’s been pretty quiet on that front. I think this Venus retro has been a big wardrobe and style makeover for me, some of it in contemplation and some new purchases but well thought out and not spending much money. Still contemplating career change, Venus has retro’ed in my 10th..

  9. “BUT WHY THO”

    basically sums up my natal venus – south node – chiron conjunction. I have become my own psychotherapist.

    v glad you engaged Taurean strength to resist the slippery Piscean, wtf was that. and it’s a bit heartening (sad?) to know sometimes we are the LZ object for others. tough one for them hey.

    on the venus retro track:
    Had an insight about neglect and passive-aggressive not-passing-on-of info being a very present form of abuse, and a way that people seek to undermine and bonsai clever colleagues and potential competitors. As a natural consensus-seeking communicator, I find this practice straight-up negligent, and totally repugnant. My current situ and reading a thing somewhere finally lit up this very fudgey, very slippery, insidious, MO. as a cappy moon (with a 10th house venus, and i think venus retro is illuminating the shape of all r’ships), shitty leadership makes me somewhat militant. I was witnessing it among middle management men, and one who was a notch above was holding his place by keeping all below him in the dark. The scorpios probably saw it all. madness. He probably didn’t even realise he was doing it, unless he did.


    other than that I am venus proof I think. After receiving the cosmic heart-meridian acupuncture that was the Capricorn, I honestly don’t know what’s left. I can’t ever revert to that level of grief, desperation and pain. If you love something, set it free, even if it feels like you’re losing a limb in the process.. check it, Chiron (or is that Charon, Styx river ferryman). Speaking of being someone else’s love zomb.
    Looking forward to late May…

    • further to my communication thing. I guess it’s pretty obvious once you think about it. Transparency being such a hotly opposed value in the sticky webs of power mongering.

  10. Wow. I’ve had a really amazing venus retro but it has been a trip down memory (even if they were subconscious ones) lane. I met people that were technically ‘new’ but it felt like we knew each-other in a past life… I also reconnected with someone who i’d grieved and thought was passed away twenty years ago. Quite an emotionally-gruelling but amazing Venus Retro for me.

    I have a question – and sorry that it doesn’t relate exactly to this post – If you meet someone during Venus Retrograde, does it mean the relationship will only pick up when venus retrogrades again…?
    Asking for a friend (not really)….

  11. I’ve had something similar – an old boyfriend from 13 YRS AGO (yes that’s right folks) who I have not heard a peep from since, popped out of the woodwork at the beginning of this Venus retro and has been fb bombarding me relentlessly with last minute requests to go ice skating (???) and so on…seriously???? I am not even vaguely tempted, even though I was so upset when we broke up that I went on a 3yr man-fast. I am however concerned about mystics hints in the horoscopes that something romantic is brewing in the background to be revealed in May…this is the only guy showing any interest right now and he’s just so 2003! I cannot envisage myself going there!

    • I am so over everything.. my job is meh.. I have no love life.. At. All.. and in some kind of cruel twist of fate my period is 10 days late so I have eternal pms… if there is anything developing behind the scenes for me then it is so behind the scenes as to be a completely different movie.. one that I’m not sure I’m in..

      • hahaha I know the feeling – BUT I am hoping in that there is something sooooo hidden brewing that I don’t even have a whiff of it yet, and it will all be a lovely surprise 😀 (hahahaha, fat chance I know!)

    • LOL yes same! Weirdest comeback (out of 2, plus 1 ghost) was my high school crush from the early 2000s and lifetimes ago. He was the first guy I “fell in love with” past the trauma of my first boyf, which provoked my intense commitment issues, while paving the foundational patterns (+ and -) of pretty much what has been since.

      I was still trying to figure out what his point was in reaching out/how to answer when he asked “What have you been up to?” then it hit me in all its meta glory: maybe the point of these retrovibes was to serve as a point of reference with regard to just how much my world has expanded since it stopped revolving around him (and others).

      Also a couple of eureka points inspired by the other two: reinforcement of stance and grace in redemption moving forward–within oneself and the “relationship” itself where appropriate.

  12. It’s been a painful but productive Venus retro (in my 8th/7th) made sharper with the SN on my Venus/Dsc. Finding out that my ex-hub has got a new permanent relationship sent me into a tailspin of despair – tears, illness, insomnia, bleakness. Wondering if the depression is back. BUT it prompted some major pattern recognition about how I have always dealt with the end of relationships. I’ve done a bit of a forensic analysis of key relationship endings and the stories I told myself at their conclusion. Very enlightening. Perhaps my 7th house Merc trine my Neptune has not always served me well.

    But wow, Vexed by Venus – what a star! Great work on remaining true to yourself. Thanks for sharing your story, it is inspiring and instructive. x

  13. As annoying as it might have been to be contacted from exes like this, you mastered it and managed to stay put. I believe you have overcome a great deal of your own limits and they (your exes) are there, still behind the fences of said limits looking at you and see what they want to see, not what you are.
    Well done.

  14. Venus definitely hasn’t done me any favors this retro – she’s been quite the bitch, actually. Even though I am Venus-ruled, these normally aren’t very problematic periods for me. But this one has been something else…

    Also? This Venus Rx gave us Blorange – need I say more?

      • A particularly polarizing (technicolor) hair trend. And before anyone googles it and falls in love with the glamour shots, under these Venus square Saturn skies I want you to think very carefully about the maintenance. Because it’s the kind of thing that even though it might appeal in photos, IRL after a couple of washes when it’s more “worn in” probably looks tired/like crap. I can foresee the time & upkeep costs being staggering.

        That aside, I totally understand the appeal of fun, funky hair colors as they’re youthful/free-spirited/allow one to creatively express their individuality/etc. and they are certainly Age of Aquarius-approved. But while I definitely do appreciate aesthetic diversity and find this interesting on one level, on another I think we’re collectively getting to a point on the Greater Timeline of Beauty History where people are starting to look less real and more like anime characters, though. Suffice to say that as an all-natural girl, this trend just isn’t for me – I’m just too square, I guess. And old. My species seems to be dying out (ambiguous pun FTW) like an archaic remnant of the past; a dinosaur, practically.

        Venus square Saturn over & out.

        • Oh super-ugh, that business looks like faded curtains to me. Dusty dried rose petals that got bleached in the sun. Life drained.
          But you’re right, on some young things it looks quite lovely. In pictures. It always seems to look more tired in person. Cant wait for the trend to pass, along with hipster beards.

  15. Great article, great reply. I especially loved this:

    “Bad boys turn into bad men.”

    Sticking that in my pocket and saving it for later!

  16. You are more than you were. The past is just that.

    Venus just decided to show you that in a really annoying way.

  17. Chortling over your and Mystic’s response to the sleazy drug mule ex. You are a class act handling all this drama like a 60’s french actress – cool aloofness in the face of slobbering male urges.

    Also that quote! Will be turning that around in my head for awhile. Finger on the pulse of the universe as always Mystic.

  18. In my haste to get rid of all my clothes that don’t suit me I seem to have given away all my pants- all I have are three pairs of leggings and a pair of athletic capris for yoga.

    You’re doing amazing by the way. You did a sweet job avoiding the trap pied piper Kung fu loving ex-boyfriend set out for you and got a look at a cosmic mirror in the meantime. Nice work.

  19. Oh my goodness, yet more realisations /lightbulb moments overnight. I moved my bed to a different position and I’m sleeping so much better. Thank you Dr Chiron and Venus sq Saturn I finally understand that the only relationship that is going to matter is the one with myself. Post-Chiron return, hey, better late than never 🙂 After decades of self-destructive behaviours and self-loathing I am still here, still stuck with me. Perhaps I’d better start getting to know Me because we’re in this together whether I like it or not. Hope that doesn’t sound too Oprah but you know what I mean.

  20. Venus retro popped up on FB- odd message from long gone pre-teen chum. We parted ways due to irreconcilable differences. She had called me names- I was glad to be free of the drama. She popped this week in FB gushing about the old days. I checked to see if she might be a troll and responded vaguely- no data shared. So odd! People must drink ambronesia for lunch! LOL!

  21. Yes! I am an Aries with Venus in Pisces and Mars in Libra, so I am feeling you Vexed by Venus (and suspect we are quite close in birthdays).

    I have had the usual temptations to trip down memory lane, most of which I have deftly avoided… then, a few days ago (on my birthday) I received three messages from an unknown number via whatsapp… no identifying information, just hi, hello and hello. I considered responding with an Adele-style ‘hello, how are you?’ but then today decided to just delete them.

    I am curious about who it was, but then, if you are messaging me on my birthday but not saying happy birthday and I don’t have your number stored in my phone, then one way or the other, you have the wrong number.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Mystic Medusa