A Gemini And Scorpio Romance Sours But Evokes Sweet Realizations
As we are deep into the Venus Retro period, I wanted to extend my sincerest thanks for your wise words on this astrology.
In the beginning, I had a difficult time processing it. Lady Graceful Warrior would be transiting my first house. I discarded most of my clothes, my shoes – there are not many items left for a style revamp. But the first house, as I now understand it finally, goes beyond looks. It is also self-worth and our core values.
Being a Gemini Sun, Pisces rising, my signature “moving on” was softly closing the door behind me and bolting out. This time, however, I closed the door with a note — nothing bitchy, nothing missive-like, but an adaptation of Adrienne Rich.
The person in question is a Scorpio man, who has been meandering in my orbit since time immemorial. The conversation lately had turned lukewarm, a cryptic person? No, rather a person whose words were full of emoticons.
A Mature Scorpio Man Who Communicates In Emoticons?
Can you imagine a 48 years-old man for whom Skype emoticons are enough to express his emotional development? For a long, long time, I fed him sweet nothings — quality literature, poetry — thinking that his vocabulary and emotional landscape could respond. No, not even my handwritten letters I mailed from Rome to New York diligently for three months.
Why did I waste such time? I suppose I couldn’t believe that he was as empty as he is.
Back to the other night, the darkest of the dark moons. I am frustrated yes, I can wait for the New Moon first to clear the air, but then my mind reminds your words “Venus Retro, Dark Moon — perfect for cutting crap off your mind, trim the excess.”
I asked my highest values (Saturn in Sag) how I could deal with this in a Stoic manner? (a digression: I have fallen in love with Epictetus who is a gift of Saturn in Sag – he, unfortunately, lived centuries before my time but what is a millennium when it comes to heart-love?)
Then I read Adrienne Rich — I will copy and paste
“An honorable human relationship — that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word “love” — is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other. It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation. In doing so we do justice to our own complexity. It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us.”
Illusion Is Always Buy Now, Pay Later
Your words, heavens and the fact that last night of all things I could find on the net I was reading A Rich, all clicked in place. Everything aligned.
I sent a simple message,
“I just had a realization while reading A Rich. It is a sad one, but it is the truth. I no longer have any yearning for the possibility of telling you things. I suppose it means I am saying goodbye. And thank you, for everything. “
Why did I thank a man who is the representation of banality? It was honoring my highest values — and acknowledging that, while feeding him with literature and poetry, I did quite a reading.
The guy has been hanging in my life like a limpid hanger-on, and I dismissed him in the way that expresses my new Stoic self in this Venus Retro period.
Thank you Mystic. I don’t know if my subconscious would work it the way it did without your words.
Incidentally, I met someone online who lives in your part of the world. He has his own red herrings, and as far as men go, I have learned that they all disappoint once they cease being a potential.
It does not matter; he is an ocean away, I don’t need to worry about things, not just when I just unloaded an odd responsibility I had taken on myself — trying to repair someone broken beyond repair.
Thank you, once again. The kind of lightness I feel now makes you the treasure of my world.
The Stoic Gemini
Let Love Steal In Under The Guise Of Friendship
Dear Stoic Gemini,
This letter is so heartfelt and poignant. And my god, if you’re going to slough off one of those attachments, do it with help from fabulous poets and ancient scholars – seriously. May I also recommend Ovid’s Ars Amatoria – it is AMAZING how relevant and timely some of his dating advice sounds.
Ovid’s birthday was March 20 – he was 28/29 Pisces – same degrees as mine! And Venus is crossing that point several times with this Retro phase. It is a magnificent time to read/re-read him. Once you strip back the rhetoric about slave girls and gladiators, it’s super-apt. He wrote, “let love steal in under the guise of friendship.” I believe that, if the Stoics ever turned their attention to mating matters, they would concur. It is the strength and truth of the alliance that matters.
And okay, I don’t agree that all men disappoint “once they cease being a potential” but of course a fantasy relationship works more smoothly than a real-life one. In part, this is because you are falling back in love with yourself. I do agree that someone – anyone – responding to handwritten notes, poetry and such elegant composition of wooing is a clod. There is no other word for it. And Venus Retrograde in Aries/late Pisces is a magnificent time to recognize where you have been incorrectly allocating your resources of magic.
Gemini and Scorpio relationships can sometimes founder on differing communication styles. Gemini’s live for words, wit and get high on the meeting of minds. For Gemini, sharing information and literature is more intimate than, well, physical intimacy. To have that scorned with emoticons must have been painful. But this man sounds like a bit of a dud Scorpio. Most Plutonic people would be delighted to have someone willing to meet them on their more-intense-than-most level.
I am reading The Price Of Illusion by Joan Juliet Buck at the moment and she has a poignant passage re not romance but the removing of the veils concealing the true nature of a friendship: “What (I) had for years believed to be trust and affection had in fact been patronizing exploitation tinged with contempt.”
May the next fortunate recipient of your handwritten notes and fine mind be appreciative. I am also honored that my words are in such amazing company!
Image: Michael Whelan