A Gemini And Scorpio Romance Sours

Gemini and Scorpio

A Gemini And Scorpio Romance Sours But Evokes Sweet Realizations

Dear Mystic,

As we are deep into the Venus Retro period, I wanted to extend my sincerest thanks for your wise words on this astrology.

In the beginning, I had a difficult time processing it. Lady Graceful Warrior would be transiting my first house. I discarded most of my clothes, my shoes – there are not many items left for a style revamp. But the first house, as I now understand it finally, goes beyond looks. It is also self-worth and our core values.

Being a Gemini Sun, Pisces rising, my signature “moving on” was softly closing the door behind me and bolting out. This time, however, I closed the door with a note — nothing bitchy, nothing missive-like, but an adaptation of Adrienne Rich.

The person in question is a Scorpio man, who has been meandering in my orbit since time immemorial. The conversation lately had turned lukewarm, a cryptic person? No, rather a person whose words were full of emoticons.

A Mature Scorpio Man Who Communicates In Emoticons?

Can you imagine a 48 years-old man for whom Skype emoticons are enough to express his emotional development? For a long, long time, I fed him sweet nothings — quality literature, poetry — thinking that his vocabulary and emotional landscape could respond. No, not even my handwritten letters I mailed from Rome to New York diligently for three months.

Why did I waste such time? I suppose I couldn’t believe that he was as empty as he is.

Back to the other night, the darkest of the dark moons. I am frustrated yes, I can wait for the New Moon first to clear the air, but then my mind reminds your words “Venus Retro, Dark Moon — perfect for cutting crap off your mind, trim the excess.”

I asked my highest values (Saturn in Sag) how I could deal with this in a Stoic manner? (a digression: I have fallen in love with Epictetus who is a gift of Saturn in Sag – he, unfortunately, lived centuries before my time but what is a millennium when it comes to heart-love?)

Then I read Adrienne Rich — I will copy and paste

“An honorable human relationship — that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word “love” — is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other. It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation. In doing so we do justice to our own complexity. It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us.”

Illusion Is Always Buy Now, Pay Later

Your words, heavens and the fact that last night of all things I could find on the net I was reading A Rich, all clicked in place. Everything aligned.

I sent a simple message,

“I just had a realization while reading A Rich. It is a sad one, but it is the truth. I no longer have any yearning for the possibility of telling you things. I suppose it means I am saying goodbye. And thank you, for everything. “

Why did I thank a man who is the representation of banality? It was honoring my highest values — and acknowledging that, while feeding him with literature and poetry, I did quite a reading.

The guy has been hanging in my life like a limpid hanger-on, and I dismissed him in the way that expresses my new Stoic self in this Venus Retro period.

Thank you Mystic. I don’t know if my subconscious would work it the way it did without your words.

Incidentally, I met someone online who lives in your part of the world. He has his own red herrings, and as far as men go, I have learned that they all disappoint once they cease being a potential.

It does not matter; he is an ocean away, I don’t need to worry about things, not just when I just unloaded an odd responsibility I had taken on myself — trying to repair someone broken beyond repair.

Thank you, once again. The kind of lightness I feel now makes you the treasure of my world.

Namaste,
The Stoic Gemini 

Let Love Steal In Under The Guise Of Friendship

Dear Stoic Gemini,

This letter is so heartfelt and poignant. And my god, if you’re going to slough off one of those attachments, do it with help from fabulous poets and ancient scholars – seriously. May I also recommend Ovid’s Ars Amatoria – it is AMAZING how relevant and timely some of his dating advice sounds.

Ovid’s birthday was March 20 – he was 28/29 Pisces – same degrees as mine! And Venus is crossing that point several times with this Retro phase. It is a magnificent time to read/re-read him. Once you strip back the rhetoric about slave girls and gladiators, it’s super-apt. He wrote, “let love steal in under the guise of friendship.”  I believe that, if the Stoics ever turned their attention to mating matters, they would concur. It is the strength and truth of the alliance that matters.

And okay, I don’t agree that all men disappoint “once they cease being a potential” but of course a fantasy relationship works more smoothly than a real-life one. In part, this is because you are falling back in love with yourself.  I do agree that someone – anyone – responding to handwritten notes, poetry and such elegant composition of wooing is a clod. There is no other word for it. And Venus Retrograde in Aries/late Pisces is a magnificent time to recognize where you have been incorrectly allocating your resources of magic.

Gemini and Scorpio relationships can sometimes founder on differing communication styles. Gemini’s live for words, wit and get high on the meeting of minds. For Gemini, sharing information and literature is more intimate than, well, physical intimacy. To have that scorned with emoticons must have been painful. But this man sounds like a bit of a dud Scorpio. Most Plutonic people would be delighted to have someone willing to meet them on their more-intense-than-most level.

I am reading The Price Of Illusion by Joan Juliet Buck at the moment and she has a poignant passage re not romance but the removing of the veils concealing the true nature of a friendship: “What (I) had for years believed to be trust and affection had in fact been patronizing exploitation tinged with contempt.”

May the next fortunate recipient of your handwritten notes and fine mind be appreciative.  I am also honored that my words are in such amazing company!

Thoughts?

Image: Michael Whelan

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Lili
MM Member
Lili
March 30, 2017 3:57 am

Foul weather friends-my Gem mum’s term for friends who need to be one up and are disappointed when it’s you. They melt away until the next crisis.

Catfish moon
Catfish moon
March 29, 2017 11:10 pm

Um weird. Torro has no identity online. No accounts, no emails, nothing, he only reads local news blogs and watches you tube videos. He will never even use an emoticon. Never.
He did not even text me till we lived together for over a year.
We saw each other in person or had phone calls. Voices….

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus
March 29, 2017 6:00 am

”Can you imagine a 48 years-old man for whom Skype emoticons are enough to express his emotional development?” Sadly, yes I can. This is actually pretty common…and for women who are highly sophisticated in an emotional sense, it’s also quite frustrating. I’ve found myself poorly matched on that front more times than not – it took me a long time to get over that whole “Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus…” notion the sexes are “just geared differently”. I find this mentality fosters an inclination to compromise on essential core relationship needs that, frankly, should not be negotiable. Emotional… Read more »

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo
March 29, 2017 5:28 am

“… a fantasy relationship works more smoothly than a real-life one. In part this is because you are falling back in love with yourself.” So very true. I am not sure why I am not falling in love with myself these days since fantasy relationships are always possible. Venus retro new moon in Aries was half the team at work getting sacked. Sometimes I miss being a love zombie when every movement of the stars was telling my personal love/not love story. Not really. Not really at all. Isn’t it funny to think, Stoic Gemini, that once the emoticons were… Read more »

Z
Z
March 29, 2017 5:16 am

““What (I) had for years believed to be trust and affection had in fact been patronizing exploitation tinged with contempt.” -aren’t a lot of friendships like this? I only started to develop better friendships in my late twenties, usually not the most prominent in my social media but with whom I have the most-life affirming conversations that also helped me make the best decisions according to the situations I have faced. The rest feel more like that quote.

Ms.
Ms.
March 29, 2017 2:37 am

Can you imagine a 48 years-old man for whom Skype emoticons are enough to express his emotional development?

As a Scorpio I think this said everything
Brilliantly penned doll xx

Scott
Scott
March 30, 2017 4:34 am
Reply to  Ms.

He probably thought that he was with a 28 yr old next generation, cyber, logged in, instagrammed and emoticonned, chat rat girl, and was trying to be with it. Instead, he just got confused with hand written poetry from the letter box, no less. She wasn’t just last century, but the century before. Why didn’t she just scan it and attach it to an email!? I think the problem here is that some people totally get off on the written word, and if it’s hand written, it’s like meant to cause a breathless orgasm or something. These people love phone… Read more »

Invicta
MM Member
Invicta
March 29, 2017 2:19 am

I’m actually kind of stunned to read this. I was just in the shower using such similar words to explain how I’m relating to various people, almost every man “in my life” who in fact is buzzing around the perimeter and investing much less than me. I was wondering why many of my friendships with men felt dissatisfying to me and hadn’t connected that feeling of giving so much more than I receive habitually and totally unconsciously. No wonder I felt depressed and my self worth was / is so low. I’ve been running on emotional credit cards with interest… Read more »

Invicta
MM Member
Invicta
March 29, 2017 2:05 am

Oh wow yes yes yes.
I’m experiencing this exact same feeling right now.
Thanks for posting this, it’s insanely relevant.
Incredible.

GeminEE
MM Member
GeminEE
March 29, 2017 2:02 am

I had a brief fling with a Scorpio. He ticked all my Capricorn boxes – his Mars and Venus on my moon and Saturn/Uranus/Nep, with my ascendant on his sun. But I realised I can’t have a relationship that doesn’t nourish my Gemini side. Dude was way too intense and I felt weird giggling to myself over things he couldn’t understand. But I learned about myself and I’m looking forward to more of these encounters so that I may realise what I’m missing. You do you. Even if the other person might not deserve it, I always believe in not… Read more »

Jacqui
MM Member
Jacqui
March 29, 2017 1:54 am

Oh! mercury in gemini…that explains the sweet, sweet eloquence

Stoic Gem
Stoic Gem
March 29, 2017 1:31 am

Thank you Mystic and all the comments. And yay! more books to read. 🙂 In my experience, one has to walk into a relationship with eyes open, once in the relationship, keep eyes closed. That is, it is best to make sure that what you find annoying does not cloud what you value in your partner. This Venus-retro period has been good about meditating on how I relate to people, what is being given and taken..In this particular case, I liked giving as much as he liked receiving. My Gem Sun + Mercury just could not resist reading anything seemingly… Read more »

MissDee
MM Member
MissDee
March 29, 2017 12:55 am

AS a Gemini with Virgo rising – so totally the opposite of Stoic Gemini I too am experiencing in a very positive way Saturn in Saggo. But this is not about me and I think you, Stoic Gemini, made a beautiful use of this Venus Retro. Thanks for sharing Adrianne Rich: I didn’t know her and I think that “yearning for the possibility of telling the other person things” and also “extend the possibilities of truth between each other” is a beutiful definition of love. Yes there’s physical attraction and passion but, in the long run, I think that Rich… Read more »

Pi
Pi
March 28, 2017 10:25 pm

oh wow I missed a lot of this OP post, was skim reading on my phone. whoops

monte
monte
March 28, 2017 9:43 pm

I haven’t got a problem with age gaps in a relationship. In theory anyway. But I have seen many, and a 20 year age gap is what I call a gaping hole. Of course, we could read the OP as her being on her second Saturn return, but I don’t think so. A twenty year age gap means that at fifty, you’ll be living with a seventy year old – I have seen this a number of times, and in my opinion there has been a huge price paid by the younger partner which wasn’t thought about when he was… Read more »

Dark side
Dark side
March 29, 2017 1:46 am
Reply to  monte

I could not find info about OP’s age except Saturn in Sagg possibly indicating Saturn return. But it could be 56 instead of 28… if age 28 I take my hat off (curtsy!) to Stoic Gemini for this level of beyond-incredible insight. You are doing the right thing, Stoic Gemini! Kudos to you for your amazing focus and wisdom. Keep your faith and do not doubt yourself. Mystic, this part of your answer THREW me, just threw me: “I am reading The Price Of Illusion by Joan Juliet Buck at the moment and she has a poignant passage re not… Read more »

Sam
Sam
March 28, 2017 7:53 pm

“Women marry men expecting that they can change them, men marry women hoping that they won’t”

In my relationship lessons: he will never change. Whatever weaknesses and wierdnesses and habits and other pros and cons are there at the start, you have to like/accept. If we don’t like or accept it, we simply shouldn’t contine dating them.
“You make me want to be a better man”
– ” great!! Call me when you are. Here’s the number of my gym and my shrink.”

Sam
Sam
March 28, 2017 7:54 pm
Reply to  Sam

I say ‘marry’ as in have some kind of committed ltr

Fireandwater
MM Member
Fireandwater
March 28, 2017 8:19 pm
Reply to  Sam

Ha! Though everything in me wants to respond with the thumbs up emoji, I’ll leave it at “props.” Wish these notions had permeated my psyche back in the single, unwed days. Probably wasn’t possible from there. Time has its magic.

Agreed, Mystic, that your thoughtful advice has seen me through this retro with gifts beyond compare. Namely, restraint (not my birthright) & dropping poignant, precise truth-bombs in alignment with personal integrity. Glad to know this is empowering femmergies around the globe. Cheers to seeking out a return on your magic, Stoic.

AquaArcher
AquaArcher
March 28, 2017 8:39 pm
Reply to  Fireandwater

Wow. Such timing. The A Rich quote (amazing) puts into words what I have felt for so long, and then the “I no longer have any yearning for the possibility of telling you things” sums up my entire Venus Rx experience in one sentence. Thank you.

Sam
Sam
March 28, 2017 9:07 pm
Reply to  Sam

Omg or, worse!! When he ‘changes’ something and the romance doesn’t work out, then you’re an asshole because he was doing this ‘for you’ and you still rejected him or whatever took place. Proving my initial point – he hadn’t actually changed, ha ha ha.

Obviously a tad sensitized to this: lol.

Sam
Sam
March 28, 2017 9:11 pm
Reply to  Sam

Triggering myself here. Hmm.

Z
Z
March 29, 2017 5:05 am
Reply to  Sam

I loved the “great! Call me when you are” part of it.

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
MM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
March 28, 2017 7:28 pm

Omg, well DONE.

A Scorpio who talks in emoticons sure doesn’t have the depths your require!

Venus retro is always good for shedding things that are clearly not meant to be….and he sounds like one.

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