Astro-Gaga: Explain Rex To Win!

Filed in Astro Gaga

Plausibly (or okay, implausibly but with surrealism) explain the astrology and back story of  “Rex – Undercover Satanic Investigator” to win a 24 month Mega Mystic membership – this now includes enrollment to the Astrology School.

If you win and you’re already a member or a student, you can add this time on or gift it to a friend.

The three runners up will get packets of my personally favorite (and ethical) sandalwood incense – to keep away the demons.

Thoughts in the comments please!

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All Access Membership – This is not a recurring payment – you are not locked in.

Email Mystic if you would like to trial for a few weeks first.

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monteKimberley@strofiendsphinxMystic Medusa Recent comment authors
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monte
monte

Spewin’! Really wanted to win.

Congrats to you guys though. Well done.

Cheers

@strofiend
@strofiend

I don’t know if I am too late but I want to enter cuss this sounds fun/interesting. The Backstory Rex – Undercover Satanic Investigator who’s lost his wife and children to Satantic cults, so he has made it his life’s mission to infiltrate America’s Satantic Cults, while living to tell about it. He’s on Oprah in that picture reliving the tales of his Undercover Satantic Investigator days. The astrolgy of Rex – Undercover Satanic Investigator Taurus Rising because he’s plump with soft features and because his MC would most likely be in Aquarius; aka a great career choice for an… Read more »

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

These are so clever, well done everyone! I can’t offer anything except I reckon he’s Pisces sun, Libra rising, 8th house Gem moon (“it’s retrograde, baby”).

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

…actually I just realised that’s probably not even possible to have Lib rising and 8th house moon – that would make him Scorp rising? But I do get some kind of lo-Libran vibe from him. *Heads back to astro-school*

Jokerman
Jokerman

The last 5 posts remind me of a desert mountain range in WA.

Punknob
Punknob

U mean home of the Dyad tribe?

Kimberley
Kimberley

Touche

Jokerman
Jokerman

Turtle

Punknob
Punknob

Hardy Har Har

Jokerman
Jokerman

Ohh Lippy

Punknob
Punknob

Quick Draw!

Jokerman
Jokerman

Exit stage right

Kimberley
Kimberley

pffft.

Kimberley
Kimberley

As a young child they called Rex sailor boy and he ended up always looking for venus at night.

Kimberley
Kimberley

Thank you for the forum for such an ecorcising rant ? have learned to love the connection between rant and rain that throw as an ? to liquidity

Kimberley
Kimberley

He lost rhe keys then he found them. So many times, each time both sides of life were compelling but together they just seem to undo Rex as I imagine you too. And the dichotomy not completely secure or undone. Yet.

Kimberley
Kimberley

Rex late in life gets a job as a script writer for pimp your futures–online afterlife the irony is not killing him yet he just keeps making it up– the beatitude of the most desperate criminals and ardemt futurists is but one of his virtues refusing to be maligned. While quietly living in the secluded anonimity of the here tight now hidden in the most obvious place–the cosmos.

Kimberley
Kimberley

Rex is the front man for the future; an elaborate and drawn out end of the world scenario–concieved as an inner city flim flam to take the vulnerable affairs of innocent and unfortunate people in hand. In the hurly burly of the con Rex gets mixed up with the advertising and minor celebrity meat market. Morphing into the robin hood of the communications world slowly infiltrating the internet but still pining for an honest buck in the fucked up world. He had grown to love the redemptive story as a novitiate of serious fun and unbelievable secrets. To speak such… Read more »

Veronica
Veronica

I have been looking at him closely, thinking he looks creepily familiar. I think he might be this lady’s twin slightly more evil twin

https://youtu.be/mBFsCwlQqmY

Jokerman
Jokerman

Mag Sab, you’ve gotta love her.

Veronica
Veronica

She did a male character that used to sidle up & chat up ladies that looked SO much like Rex, but I don’t remember his name, couldn’t find an image either…

MoonstoneMagnolia
MoonstoneMagnolia

My name is Rex aka Rug Rat Don’t let my Pisces Sun fool you My cherubic face and cool Ray Ban’s I may look like a 70’s dude with my mo, cute chin and sidies Lurking, lurking is my satanic Saturn undercover my Scorpio ascendant I have secrets many secrets dark nights under the light of the full Leo moon I dip my pen in my secret potion conjure mystical spells under the guise of poetry I grew up the second rebellious son Did the school thing studied languages for my Moon in Gemini watched too many films read Harry… Read more »

sphinx
sphinx

Lol, nice, I immediately thought of Hubbard the guy that created scientology.

Kimberley
Kimberley

Double down–consider my first entry as a job application…I could be your very own Satanic Investigator call me Rex if you like–maybe this is more of an indecent proposal or the same. Tarrantino’s request for styling and characterisation cross-between Maxwell Smart and George Peppard’s Banacek. Rex is a vexed Cancer with martial arts expertise and Lomolomo skills–reads coffee cups, clouds, waves and beauty spots. Forecasts compatability upon the shape of the nose and an algorithmn combining grocery budget and body wieght. Suffers aka Cayce Pollard’s aversion to branding and abhors the absence of taste. Works everyday life as a dreamscape… Read more »

rachel
rachel

There is def a Donnie Brasco vibe–he started out impartial, but is now beginning to really empathize with the Satanist group he has infiltrated. But he also really needs to complete the job cause he’s in pretty deep with the mob and has a gambling and space dust habit.

Going out on a limb with this one–KATAKA rising (round face), Gem sun in the 12th, Jupiter in Leo in the 2nd, with a hard aspect to Saturn in Scorpio–Mars in Aqua in the 8th

Scott
Scott

I googled Ron Jeremy, the 80s porn star, because our Rex looks like a younger version of him. So Ron is a Pisces, so that’s what Rex is. A sensitive boy born into a macho, red neck, hunting family, Rex, who was named Kim by his mother, after her younger brother who died in a farming accident at 18. Dad, who was never enamoured with name, gave Kim the family nick name Rex, named after a particularly aggressive, nasty but loyal dog from his own childhood, in the hope that it would somehow make his sensitive and pretty Piscean son… Read more »

skarab
skarab

This is awesome.

Scott
Scott

Ah, thank you Skarab. You may (or may not) remember, from previous ‘conversations’ that we share the birthday – day and year IIRC. Different houses of course.

skarab
skarab

A crab does not forget such facts, Monte – you know that. I think i may have been in the incarnation of islandgirl back then too? Anyway, this is too weird as last w’end i had a dream where i was getting craniosacral done, and my (female) therapist was called Monte – which struck me as odd at the time & now here you are.

Scott
Scott

Yes true Skarab. I have gotten to the stage where I am ecstatic when I don’t remember something! It’s kind of a relief 🙂

But I think you were Skarab when we last conversed, as I’m not around enough to pick up when people change their names. Islandgirl rings a bell though.

So yes, I am Monte, the craniosacral one! And I feel like we are virtual twins 😀 It’s sweet about that dream eh.

I am pleased about Pluto moving on from that sun opposition, and in full preparation form when it collects my moon in 2020!

Z
Z

Yaaas

Scott
Scott

Cheers and thank you 🙂

sphinx
sphinx

Terrifying

Scott
Scott

I know….life eh 😉

skarab
skarab

After the San Francisco episode, something snapped in Rex’s mind – the esoteric knowledge she/he gained from the experience gave Rex such a sense of power that she/he decided to go for world domination.

In fact so strong are Rex’s powers of gender fluidity and knowledge of the occult, that he/she managed to penetrate the Spanish political party, Partido Popular, taiking it to control the country in the past 2 elections. (Notice the use of esoteric hand symbols/mudras).

http://politica.elpais.com/politica/2016/06/03/actualidad/1464946596_590679.html

skarab
skarab

For the record (& for real) the above politician, Rex/Soraya Saenz de Santamaria has Sun & Mercury in Gemini opposite Neptune-Jupiter – confirming my previous thoughts on Rex being a trixy, fluid gender blender. And with Pluto trine Saturn-Venus – there is nothing this person can’t accomplish.

skarab
skarab

Is this the dawning of a T(rans) Rex era?

sphinx
sphinx

Makes sense to me!

Kimberley
Kimberley

Rex is a child actor still traumatised from reruns of Lost in Space episodes and latent jealousies stirred up by Mickey Dolenz Monkees zombie fandom. The constant swipes about Circus Boy references to bearded ladies, swallowing swords, riding bare back horses, elephant scrubbers add infinitum. One dark moon he shaved off every hair on his body, applied an arcane esoteric lotion that suppresses regrowth and went awol in search of a higher order destiny than the miserable karma he thus far had known. Long story short; in plot that would do Joseph Campbell proud, this hero experiences his ephinany deep… Read more »

Z
Z

Lol

Lucy
Lucy

Does the Satanic Investigator investigate followers of Satanism or does his private investigator partner/Satanic Investigators Temp Recruitor suspect him of being a follower himself ? He followed him to a Starbucks and cornered him at the milk, lids, and stir sticks kiosk, quoting a line from a “Miami Vice” episode. “Yer not walking the line, yer so over the line and yer not coming back.” Also, take your black cat with you k. This Satanic Investigator is a Scorpio, Sagittarius Rising, Moon in Capricorn. Bumped from the local cop station for frequently being late for work and refusing partners who… Read more »

Lucy
Lucy

Does the Satanic Investigator investigate followers of Satanism or does his private investigator partner/Satanic Investigators Temp Recruitor suspect him of being a follower himself ? He followed him to a Starbucks and cornered him at the milk, lids, and stir sticks kiosk, quoting a line from a “Miami Vice” episode. “Yer not walking the line, yer so over the line and yer not coming back.” Also, take your black cat with you k. This Satanic Investigator is a Scorpio, Sagittarius Rising, Moon in Capricorn. Bumped from the local cop station for frequently being late for work and refusing partners who… Read more »

baristagem
baristagem

Ahahahahahaha! This is fantastic!!

skarab
skarab

For the S.F.P.D the legend of Rex, the undercover satanic investigator, is one that remains an enigma – for not only did he help uncover many Satanic circles in the San Francisco/Bay Area – but all of their leaders’ bodies were found charred in their bedrooms. Some say that Rex himself – an expert in the occult – was responsible for their deaths as some sort of revenge – though this has never been proven. It is rumoured that he may have had a sister – as a cleaner in the apartment block he had lived in, had spotted a… Read more »

Z
Z

Nice. Love the poem.

Jokerman
Jokerman

Great moments in poetry.
N Cave or T Waits should give voice.

quietglamour
quietglamour

Rex is an Aqua Sun cazimi Mercury RX in the 8th house with Cancer Rising. He wears sunglasses indoors and at night to shield his soft and vulnerable eyes. He actually really cares about people from afar but never really lets them get too close, lest they drag him down with their troubled emotions. His Moon is in psychic Pisces. His feelings and intuition are too deep for words. Unfortunately his sensitive Moon is quincunx Pluto in Leo. He had a troubled relationship with his mother. She was overbearing and controlling. The typical devouring mother. He always felt that she… Read more »

Ali
Ali

Awesome! Poor Rex.

Kel
Kel

Yes 🙂 I’m diggin on this hahaha wearing sunglasses indoors… I’m cancer rising and quite often take hours to realise I’ve left my sunnies on while I’m waddling around the house 😀

marsbar
marsbar

Hey I think I saw Rex in this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5rRZdiu1UE

lol! Listen all of y’all this is sabotage!

Z
Z

I can’t stand it! I know you planned it!

marsbar
marsbar

But I’m gonna set it straight, this Watergate 🙂

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus

LMFAO!!! I’m *dying* – pulling in a Beastie Boys reference FTW!

Rex…Rex Cochese, P.I.

😛 😀

marsbar
marsbar

hells yeah, Rex Cochese!

Jokerman
Jokerman

How many brothers does he have?

marsbar
marsbar

Lol! His mom was gettin’ busy at those Satanic cult meetings! :p

Z
Z

All that free love in the late sixties

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Dude they’re all MINE

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Ridiculous!! 😀

Catherine
Catherine

No one with Pluto on their ascendant would have that moustache. He is a nobody with illusions to investigating satanic abuse actually being manipulated by a magician chanelling Jupiter and Uranus. In his time warp continuum it is always 1999. Alas no woman had fallen for him. And he is no more rex than the neighbours dog who shapeshifted into him one night when he was bored, a giant shnauzer hence the moustache. Controlling an irresistible urge to pee on everything, the dog has documented the behaviour of a neighbour who keeps records of abuse in a large bible. Dog… Read more »

emg
emg

schnauzer hahahahaha yes I see this!

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus

Pluto’s transit through Sagittarius had really done a number on Rex. Born under a Scorpio New Moon, as a child he had always loved to play Secret Agent Man but a series of Unfortunate Events in youth – including the murder of his parents under mysterious and apparently ritualistic circumstances during his teens – left him with a borderline obsessive drive to get down to the Truth. He attended university for criminal justice but after deciding traditional law enforcement was just a little too “white knight” for him, set down the path of becoming a private eye instead. An adept… Read more »

Z
Z

Still think “Rex” is a lady doing drag. She could be a Virgo woman pretending to be a Pisces Satanist wannabe dude and her objective, as stated above, is to report you with the IRS.

Z
Z

The Satanism/occult is merely a diversion.

GemLeoLib
GemLeoLib

With his scorpio rising and stellium in the 8th house Rex was always interested in the occult. But upon stumbling into a metaphysical bookstore and discovering the Satanic Bible by Anton LeVey he knew he was onto something. And with Saturn in Sagg crossing over his pluto in the 9th house he had to find the truth. The only way to do that (and the way he preferred) was to go undercover. Little did he know how much it would change him. So much so that his eyes turned black and he had to wear sunglasses for the rest of… Read more »

JanetZ
JanetZ

Sun-Scorpio Moon-Scorpio Ascendant-Gemini Rex has his sun conjunct mercury in scorpio – in the tenth house. He wants to be seen, he wants to reveal scorpionic secrets to the world (but not his of course). It doesn’t hurt that he also has jupiter in the eleventh house in sagittarius (almost conjunct his mercury) – he needs to educate the masses. Also gemini rising – yak yak yak. His mars in capricorn (sign of the devil/occult) — and in the twelfth house– explains his desire to act covertly. So even though being on television might be bad for his undercover work,… Read more »

Z
Z

Lol. I love the porn stache and the last sentence.

LeoEscapeArtist
LeoEscapeArtist

Total cop wanna be but always failed the piss test ’cause he runs in2 a lot of space dust. What’s your point? He’s a florence-nightengale-dude; he has 2 b cause he runs in2 a lot of PIAB who because they r craycray, he’s alway available 2 give em a lift 2 the ATM & BTW he needs a place 2 stay ’cause his ex effed him over–she’s possessed by u know…satanic shizz..& Rex was trying 2 help her ’cause that’s what he does…of course, astro is super cool but u know, his ex got obsessed. Baby, u get me like… Read more »

Kel
Kel

Hahaha gold!!!

Z
Z

Lol

Alouetta
Alouetta

Ha! I feel greasy reading that.

Pi
Pi

Me too, Leo escape artist has clearly written it well 😀

Bella
Bella

Oh this is easy. Rex is my brother. I know his chart. He is a Scorpio ascendant ( hence the occult). Moon in Virgo for description, secrecy and keeping that moustache just so. Jupiter is in the 10th house so he is actually quite good at what he does. Heaps of planets in the twelfth house because where is satan but in our unconscious?

Kimberley
Kimberley

Not convinced thats where satan is nor do i want him there

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Well fq, Satan is Sagittarius?

sphinx
sphinx

Rex is actually a Virgo tax fraud investigator. He has Gemini Rising and Mercury in Pisces with Saturn/Mars in Scorpio. Rex is SO undercover he cleverly uses reverse psychology. You see by calling himself undercover, he avoids scrutiny for being truly undercover; by having admitted what he actually is, it is too confusing for anyone to discover his true intent. The same with the term Satanic Investigator. He is actually interested in far more prosaic factoids regarding your life, like your claiming liquid paper as a work product when you shut your home office a year ago. But you are… Read more »

Pi
Pi

inspired.

Jokerman
Jokerman

Didn’t Mike Nesmith claim liquid paper for his mom?

Z
Z

Totally lol

Kimberley
Kimberley

Yip

Jokerman
Jokerman

Hasn’t he been on “Play School”?

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

As Benita

Ali
Ali

Laughing so much!

Kel
Kel

Rex arrived on planet earth in 1964 with Pluto conjunct his Leo ascendant – from birth he was on fleek with the finely cropped moustache game and lucky for him, being born in Memphis Alabama meant he very quickly developed an appreciation for the shape of ray bans that Elvis had been found dead in. No sunglass model has ever come as close to the Elvis Ray Ban for its ability to conceal brooding frowns, penetrating stares and bleary bloodshot drug overdosed eyes. Rex knew from day dot that he simply must get himself a pair for the work he… Read more »

Z
Z

Yaaas

Plum
Plum

Top notch.

Ali
Ali

Excellent!!!!! LOVE this!
Pluto square hair…LMAO

damons
damons

Rex is the pet name for this special undercover agent’s rug. Most of his hair fell out after sculling a botched invisibility potion brewed by a triad of twenty-something black-art Capricorn interns six months in at ‘Stans’ Ranch.’ Only after weeks of intensive rehab undergoing reiki, crystal healing, hot oil lingam massage and stand-up paddle yoga in a five star Maui resort has ‘Rex’ been able to give evidence against his persecutors. “God damn sick sons-of-a-bitches tattooed the entire mother frickin’ zodiac on to my body when I was passed-out. I woke up with the arrow of Sagittarius on my… Read more »

Jamie
Jamie

The fact that I have no clue what you even said is the reason why I’d love to win a membership!!! I have so much to learn!!!! in the meantime, I am gleaning a little bit with each article, post and horoscope I read, and I love your style so thank you!!! I think it is awesome that this is how someone could win a scholarship ??? FWIW, Tex looks like a bad 80’s porn star to me- where’s his gold chain? That’s the only thing missing

datura
datura

Lol!

Z.N.S
Z.N.S

Obviously a stellium of planets in the Via Combusta, Arachne on the Midheaven, mars in late libra, Jupiter in Scorpio. Mercury square Uranus in Aquarius maybe. Neptune square Pluto. ((Don’t know plausible this would be in an actual chart)). Lilith rising energy wrongly translated to Satanism?

Z
Z

Gender-fluid Mercury in an exalted position with important aspects and Mars in Libra for androgyny. The eyebrows and mouth look feminine to me.

Z
Z

((Like I said, don’t know how much of what I wrote would be possible in a person’s actual chart. I’d like to see what others post))

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