I had a huge falling-out with an (ex) friend before Xmas. Unfortunately, she lives next door to me: Our front doors literally face each other and our doormats are less than one-foot apart. She leaves her door open all the time. I love my qi flow too, but also like my privacy and like to respect others. I am doing my best to avoid, be zen, ignore the pass-agrgo acts and not react, but it is internalizing and driving me mental. I have tried to take the path of least resistance, but in my heart I can’t reconcile the friendship.
I am a pretty intuitive Cancerian Sun+Moon+Ascendant, Lilith in Scorpio in 4th House, Scorpio rules the 5th, Libra rules 4th. She is scary-psychic Pisces with Aries/Sag Rising/Moon. We are both mega sensitive and reactive with lots of fire and water in our charts. We both smudge and use crystals etc.
My gut feeling + intellect tell me this person is mega-needy, manipulative and plays games if things don’t go her way. She seems to get what she wants after tons of drama.
Cutting to the chase: I am a bit scared of doing a “Get fuq’d and stay fuq’d” type chant as I don’t want to wish her ill-will or create a bad karma situation for myself. I want her out of my (previously) peaceful life and home environment, out of the flat next door, off my doorstep and out of my head. A friend suggests I just need to be okay with her being there. I’ve tried but its really hard. Any advice?
More if you are interested:
I have read your posts on protection and I have been using salt and garlic across my doorway (which stopped a passive-agrgo incident playing at my door while the perpetrator went out for a couple of hours). I am smudging with sage and mugwort, burning frankincense and meditating like a mo-fo so I don’t completely lose it, but I can’t stop obsessing over the situation and just want this person out of my life. I am focusing on protecting my space and place here. Against my own needs, I recommend her for the apartment, which she gloated she manifested. Lesson learned.
In other situations I would cut my losses, pack my bags, call the removalist, find another place, but I don’t have the luxury or the energy. And, I was here first, and this apartment is one of the best things that has happened in my life after years of moving frequently, and not having my own space. I’m also recovering from major health problems, of which stress was a contributing factor, and don’t have any more energy to waste on this situation. That said, I have learned some MASSIVE lessons this through this drama (with the help of my psychologist) and am working on gratitude.
About 3 weeks before we had the instigating falling out, she saw a clairvoyant/tarot reader in Sydney who told her she was going to have a falling out with a close girlfriend over jealousy…. I laughed out loud at the time and said “Well, its not me!” I think the jealousy is hers, I could be wrong, I’m not perfect but WHOA.
The night before she moved in, there was a cat-fight in the front courtyard … you hardly ever see a cat in my street. I had a sinking feeling at the time as I was already feeling uneasy about her moving in.
Thanks for your astro-site and any advice you can offer.
Cancerian In An Eclipse
Dear Cancerian In An Eclipse,
Okay so I asked my fabulous Feng Shui lady for her thoughts, which are below. But my astro-advice? I understand the stress of this, especially as a Crab Woman – this is your Power Lair feeling under threat! But is it? First of all, it is actually better to have a powerful woman living right next door to you than – say – a skeevy gentleman or a person whom you know for a fact was mean to their children or pets.
This scenario you are conjuring makes me think of two potent witches living side by side or Bette Davis and Joan Crawford in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane – not that either of you are decrepit or bitter but the concept of two powerful females at loggerheads but deep down, there is grudging respect.
And unless whatever sparked the feud was a truly heinous act, i would suggest reminding yourself that Jupiter in Libra is fantastic for strong alliances, diplomacy and feud resolution. Also that you want to fix this before Jupiter squares Pluto in early April. What better time than Venus turning Retro (this weekend) to reconsider a female-female friendship and make amends.
Also, to be absolutely Machiavellian about it, being the person reaching out to resolve this in eloquent fashion puts YOU in the power position. Holding the grudge – a common Cancerian trait, unfortunately – keeps you in a sort of ‘resentful serf’ role. Why not go over AS Venus goes Retrograde, with an appropriate gift and your most noble, affable attitude. Or write on the card with the gift (a scented candle?) something about how glad you are to have recommended her for the apartment as it is nice to have a familiar neighbor.
Am i missing something? If you feel she is a drama-queen, just set your drama tolerance levels real low and rise above anything turgid by not marinating in resentment. You can maintain diplomatic relations with a person/country without necessarily approving of everything about them/it. And you can limit your engagement to a level you are comfortable with. Or are you saying that this person is one of those All or Nothing people?
This is the Feng Shui Version.
Every building has its own distribution of energy which would need to be taken into account (like doing a natal birth chart when you look at the transits) aside from the annual influences. Having said that, here are some general points. Some Feng Shui consultants and websites would suggest hanging a Bagua mirror on your front door to reflect her negativity however I would advise against that as if she is energy aware – she sounds like she is – this would be seen as quite an aggressive act and no doubt you would find her reciprocating with a Bagua mirror on her door as well – this will just give the conflict a back and forward trajectory which will magnify itself and make it worse rather than better.
Instead, I would suggest looking at what is happening in the West area of your home. This year (as of 3rd February based on the Chinese Solar calendar) the annual energy shifted and for the rest of the year, conflict energy is visiting the West of every premises.
A way to harmonise the conflict energy is by using red however, without knowing the underlying building’s Feng Shui (this can be done by getting a remote report done) I am hesitant to suggest placing red here as you could inadvertently be activating sickness energy or energy that supports financial problems. The safest solution would be to put some metal in the West. This will harmonise the conflict energy and won’t play havoc with any underlying energy. This could be a metal windchime outside (6 or 7 rod best) or use metal items or round objects to harmonise the visiting conflict energy inside.
Remove any objects made from wood (including books) from the West and any light blue or green items as these help support the conflict energy as well.
You can drill down a further level and look at what is happening in the South of your home as well, because this month there is conflict energy visiting here. You can follow the previous recommendations for the South for this month too until the 4th March.
There is another type of energy that could be causing issues for you this year which relates to the Grand Duke (relates to the planet Jupiter). Try and avoid sleeping with your head pointing to the West or sitting facing the West if at all possible, especially if you were born in the Year of the Rooster!
Great you are smudging regularly as well!
SO WHAT DOES EVERYONE ELSE THINK?
Image: Harry Benson
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