Is Venus in Taurus stuck in shallow waters?
Over the past year, I’ve had 4 brief (Neptune in 7th) affairs. Actually, the last guy, a Scorp, bookended the infatuations. After our first few interactions were recounted to my best friend, we both agreed that he felt way too much like my first love and that I should immediately stop, drop, and roll off that runaway train. I did this successfully. The past few months brought us closer though and somehow, I’m now dealing with the aftermath of our decision to sleep together despite his long term relationship. The foundation of the friendship we were slowly building is rubble. He’s aloof and skittish. He’s also a functioning alcoholic on a road to nowhere. Him, I still want. Him, I’m pulling up synastry charts for and interrogating the Tarot about (all 5s and pentacles R). For him, my Mars in Aries is full speed ahead trying to strategize. Classic love zombie, and trust me, this kind of feeling characterizes every one of the aforementioned affairs.
Enter Capricorn with his everything in my 7th house. The quintessential Southern Gentleman. He came to the door to pick me up, and when he dropped me off at home, he pulled me close and started naming the constellations. Swoon. We have the same taste in books and movies. He’s interesting, charming, accomplished, ambitious. So far he’s said all the right things, effortlessly, soundly distinguishing himself from the majority of men of my generation, by making me feel appreciated and special. And it feels so great to be the one pursued for once. I’m not scared he’s suddenly going to disappear.
There’s like zip going on though, sexually. My brain is turned on but I’m just fine staying on the opposite side of the table at dinner. Usually I can’t get close enough and I want to make a home in their chest cavity. He’s a little heavier than I go for, and I wouldn’t say I always go for the pretty boy, though it happens often enough that it’s a trend. With the Scorpio though, my best friend saw him for the first time and called him “Gas Station Z”. He’s got this absurd long hair that he wears half up and fanned out like a peacock. God awful. I’m obsessed with him. At first I didn’t even think I wanted to be Mrs. Peacock; I thought it could just be sex but I think I was just trying to fend off the hurt from the zombie bite. Cap dressed to the 9s for our date. He’s clean cut like I usually like ’em. When he asked if he could kiss me, I said “I think we should wait.” And wait… And wait…
Both chivalrous Cap and Gas Station Z have their Venus squaring my Mars. My Venus trines Cap’s mars. Could that be the reason there’s nothing going on for me? Or, is it just as simple as admitting that Venus in Taurus makes me Shallow Hal, and if that’s the case, is there even a point in continuing to date him while hoping something develops? And if I move on, with Uranus and Neptune in 7th in Cap, and Venus in Taurus, is it even possible to attract something pretty enough to satisfy me that’s still breathing and isn’t going to vanish? Or should I resign myself to undead gas stations with out-of-order pumps? I’m almost on empty.
Sincerely, Ms Venusian Taurus
Dear Ms Venusian Taurus,
My first vibe on this was never mind Venus in Taurus, it’s some hard-wired programming where you’re drawn to the ‘bad’ dude sexually and are unable to warm up to the guy who treats you right. Paging Dr Freud here, obviously. Okay so most of us know the drill here. It’s like the Madonna-Whore complex but applied to males. If a care-giver in early life treats someone with respect than voila, crushes/affection tends to trend toward similar characters and dynamics in adult life. If Daddy was a gambler/addict/chaos merchant than voila your type.
So you KNOW damn well i am going to be barracking for Capricorn here – you had me at “he knows the constellations.” Also, i don’t care if Uranus and Neptune park in your garage, you have to have standards/protective barriers about whom you let into your life. Nothing about the Scorpio is suggesting that you devote even a nano-unit of your brain to figuring out what he is about. There are so many red flags here i am amazed you have not been pulled into the pit stop by a team of crack mechanics. And i bet you get the Devil card coming up all the time in Tarot. Five of pentacles my arse.
SO you cannot date someone in “a long term relationship” with someone else or who is “a functioning alcoholic.” If your Venus trines the Mars of Capricorn, that’s great. God, give him a go. Use Retro-Venus to break some old unhealthy patterns. Gas Station Z guys will always be around. I think you treat the Scorpio as a shitty food or addiction that you HAVE to give up. One day at a time and trust that abstaining from contact with him or misusing your energies trying to predict his low level thought patterns or bullshit operating methods will start to feel good very quickly.
Consider also what rebel urges/hotness of your own you’re projecting onto Scorpio – a cheat and an addict does not seem like someone you would knowingly go for- could therapy be appropriate? Uranus is heading for Taurus and by the time the planet of rad connects with your Venus, you would want to have reset your expectations, right? Venus in Taurus is dignified – Venus RULES Taurus – Venus here is tactile, sensual and grounded. I say leave aside the gas station metaphors and think more grassy high mountain field, with flowers, fresh air and respect (with healthy lust) from a person who is clearly into you enough to invest some of himself into you.
What does every one else think? I have Saturn square MY Venus at the moment – am I being too Saturnine about this? Is their room for hot lunatic addict-cheat men in a healthy person’s love life? Or is a version of the Madonna-Whore complex and super unhelpful? Is there a phrase to describe the M.W.C. when it is applying to a man?
Lets do this!
Image: Alejandro Sordi
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