A natal Venus In Taurus woman asks why she is so drawn to shallow love interests and what she calls the Gas Station Z Guys. Is it a Venus in Taurus thing?
Is Venus in Taurus stuck in shallow waters?
Over the past year, I’ve had four brief affairs. Actually, the last guy, a Scorp, bookended the infatuations. After I told my best friend about our first few interactions, we agreed that he felt way too much like my first love and that I should immediately stop, drop, and roll off that runaway train. I did this successfully.
The past few months brought us closer though, and I’m now dealing with the aftermath of our decision to sleep together despite his long term relationship. The foundation of the friendship we were slowly building is rubble. He’s aloof and skittish. He’s also a functioning alcoholic on the road to nowhere. Him, I still want. Him, I’m pulling up synastry charts for and interrogating the Tarot about (all 5s and pentacles). For him, my Mars in Aries is full speed ahead trying to strategize. Yes, I am a classic love zombie. This kind of feeling characterizes all my affairs.
Enter Capricorn with his everything in my 7th house. The quintessential Southern Gentleman. He came to the door to pick me up, and when he dropped me off at home, pulled me close and started naming the constellations. Swoon. We have the same taste in books and movies. He’s entertaining, charming, accomplished, and ambitious. So far he’s said all the right things, distinguishing himself from the majority of men of my generation, making me feel appreciated and special. And it feels so great to be the one pursued for once. I’m not scared he’s suddenly going to disappear.
It’s Not natal Venus In Taurus – It’s a Variation Of The Madonna-Whore Complex
There’s like zip going on though, sexually. My brain is turned on, but I’m just fine staying on the opposite side of the table at dinner. Usually, I can’t get close enough, and I want to make a home in their chest cavity. He’s a little heavier than I go for, and I wouldn’t say I always go for the pretty boy, but it happens often enough that it’s a trend.
With the Scorpio though, my best friend saw him for the first time and called him “Gas Station Z.” He’s got this absurd long hair that he wears half up and fanned out like a peacock. God awful. I’m obsessed with him. At first, I didn’t even think I wanted to be Mrs. Peacock; I thought it could just be sex, but I think I was trying to fend off the hurt from the zombie bite. Cap dressed to the 9s for our date. He’s clean cut like I usually like ’em. When he asked if he could kiss me, I said: “I think we should wait.” And wait and wait. Sigh.
Does my natal Venus in Taurus make me Shallow Hal, and if that’s the case, is there even a point in dating while hoping something develops? And if I move on, is it even possible to attract something pretty enough to satisfy me that’s still breathing and isn’t going to vanish? Or should I resign myself to undead gas stations with out-of-order pumps? I’m almost on empty.
Sincerely, Ms. Venusian Taurus
He’s God-Awful – I’m Obsessed With Him.
Dear Ms. Venusian Taurus,
Never mind Venus in Taurus, it’s hard-wired programming where you’re drawn to the ‘bad’ dude sexually and are unable to warm up to the guy who treats you right. Paging Dr. Freud. Most of us know the drill here. It’s like the Madonna-Whore complex but applied to males. If a caregiver in early life treats someone with respect than voila, crushes/affection tends to trend toward similar characters and dynamics in adult life. If Daddy was a gambler/addict/chaos merchant that’s your type.
So you know damn well I am going to be barracking for Capricorn here. you had me at “he knows the constellations.” Also, regardless of your Venus sign, you have to have standards and protective barriers.
Nothing about the Scorpio is suggesting that you devote even a nano-unit of your brain to figuring out what he is about. There are so many red flags here! How have you not been pulled into the pit stop by a team of crack mechanics? And I bet you get the Devil card coming up all the time in Tarot. Five of pentacles my arse.
If Daddy Was A Chaos Merchant/Addict/Gambler, That’s Your Comfort Zone With Men
You cannot date someone in “a long term relationship” with someone else or who is “a functioning alcoholic.” He is putting the other person and the booze before you. You’re probably his second favorite hangover cure. A greasy late breakfast, some sparkling vitamin drink and orgasm with Ms. Venus.
Use Retro-Venus to break some old unhealthy patterns. Gas Station Z guys will always be around. I think you treat the Scorpio as a shitty food or addiction that you have to give up. Take it one day at a time and trust that abstaining from contact with him will feel increasingly fantastic over time. You’ve been misusing your energies trying to predict his low level thought patterns or bullshit operating methods.
Hot Hint: He probably has a limit range of emotions and responses: Horny. Hungry. Hung-Over. Wanting To Drink. Annoyed. Bored. Tired. Angry.
Venus In Taurus Is Dignified – She Has No Truck With Gas Station Z Guys
Consider also what rebel urges/hotness of your own you’re projecting onto Scorpio – a cheat and an addict does not seem like someone you would knowingly go for- could therapy be appropriate? It does also sound like Mars-Venus chemistry, the most notorious synastry of all.
Venus in Taurus is dignified. She rules Taurus – Venus here is tactile, sensual and grounded. Leave the gas stations for grassy high mountain fields, with flowers, fresh air, and attention from a person who is clearly into you enough to invest some into you.
What does everyone else think? I have Saturn square MY Venus at the moment – am I being too Saturnine about this? Is their room for hot lunatic addict-cheat men in a healthy person’s love life? Or is it a version of the Madonna-Whore complex and super unhelpful? Is there a phrase to describe the M.W.C. when it is applying to a man?
Let’s do this!
Image: Nadia Lee Cohen – Why Do You Only Call Me When You’re High