How Do I Make Peace With Virgo Energy?

Aries and Virgo

Can Aries and Virgo find common ground? Mystic advises an Aries having difficulties with Virgo Vibe after a disastrous run of Lower Virgos.

Dear Mystic,

I have an Aries Sun, Cancer Rising, Venus in Pisces and the Moon in Aquarius. The only Earth in my chart is Mercury in Taurus. Unsurprisingly, sometimes the only way to ground myself is by writing, which I often do.

I have a problem with Virgo energy. My father was a Virgo, and our relationship has always been strained. I have done my best over the years, and we can now, at least, interact without yelling most of the time. The only other relationship I’ve ever had with a Virgo was, by all accounts, a complete disaster. (He was an alcoholic who concealed his addiction from me until we were married and then became emotionally and physically abusive.) As a result, I have a problem integrating Virgo energy into my life.

With the Full Moon in my house of family and home, I would like to be able to heal this scenario in some way. Can you please provide some guidance on how I might go about this?

As always, your wisdom and insight will be much appreciated.

Blessings,

Aries In Need

Dear Aries In Need,

First of all, brilliant use of Mercury in Taurus!  And interesting use of tenses when you are talking of your Virgo father. He “was” or he “is”?  Is it helpful to conflate your difficult Virgo father with your dysfunctional Virgo Ex? Although of course there may be a connection in that archetypes tend to keep popping up in our lives.

So Virgo Ex is off the scene – thankfully – and you’re naturally feeling the current Sun-Uranus-Full-Moon Jupiter Vibe super-intensely. This current Cancerian energy is very family/ancestor/comfort zone/home stability in tone – feel urgent. Like you have to do shift the vibe – now. (There is a more nuanced sign by sign take on this in the Horoscopes, obviously).

And as an Aries, you naturally feel it falls upon you to heal, fix, solve or save any shit that needs it.  And Crab Rising can also cleave strongly to whatever their ideals of family, regardless of circumstances or how people behave. But with this week’s astrology also being incredible for quick-acting liberating realizations, keep room for one of your options being just to let this go. Your family is not necessarily always the one that you were biologically born into.

If you can interact calmly with Virgo Dad in a way that is pleasant for both of you and does not breach boundaries or trigger a well-worn but non-productive neural groove of yours, then respect that Virgos do like the small, practical gestures.

Your way in would be via something micro but super-thoughtful. But with Saturn in sync to Uranus in Aries – you still know thy boundaries. If someone is treating you with disrespect or is unable to break out of a toxic dynamic, it does not matter what sign of the Zodiac they are – you eject.

You did not have a problem integrating “Virgo energy” into your life with your Ex – you were healthily unable to sustain an abusive relationship with an addict.

What does everyone else think?

Image: Carlos Ramos

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GwendolynPowderfingerJoannaPiTaurus Vixen Recent comment authors
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Taurus VixenMM Member
Taurus Vixen

Having known and been very close to several Virgos, I don’t think it is the Virgo energy either. Agree with Mystic, you had a problem with a man that was an alcoholic who happened to be a Virgo. I know this is an astrology website but I’d suggest you explore Al-Anon. Al-Anon is for family and friends of alcoholics. Even if your ex-husband is not in your life, he was and had impact. You just may find Al-Anon very enlighting.

Good luck with your path either way.

GwendolynMM Member
Gwendolyn

Quad Virgo…this post makes feel I have a disease! Dis – ease!
librarian, cataloguer, paid to be exact, picky and a place for everything and everything in its place! Libraries are run by OCD Virgos! Perfection is however a bitch of a mistress…
Try to be kind to myself all the time. We are indeed very self critical.
If you can find work that embraces your gifts, easy as pie!
Follow your bliss to quote Joseph Campbell !
My mother had big preserving jars full of buttons. I catalogued for hours, and hours…

emgMM Member
emg

The other odd fact is that dentists tend to be Virgo My ex was dentist/facial surgeon!

PiMM Member
Pi

It should go without saying that the world does desperately need Virgo. I suspect that it is only Virgo priestesses who may be custodians of the Akashic records.

GwendolynMM Member
Gwendolyn

Thank you Pi,
Yes yes yes
Priestesses Of Cosmic Information and intelligence!
Have glimpsed occasionally some of the rooms, an amazing honour!
Ultimate vocation!
Sigh someone understands!

Joanna
Joanna

I am a Virgo woman and I am so over all the negative press. The most loving people I have ever known in my life have been Virgos. And they have always been there for me at rough times when no one else has been. I am female though and I have met Virgo men that have had issues. I don’t think you can blame this on Virgo though. I think it is more symptomatic of men not being comfortable embracing their sensitive energy. Give Virgos a break! Most of us are healers

Jokerman
Jokerman

Love it: “Give Virgos a break! Most of us are healers.”

PiMM Member
Pi

Sorry I really am going on a bit on this site lately, I was wondering if where some of us have a history of (say) non-Virgo-Ness, any efforts to apply ourselves in that direction is sometimes met with inner stress anxiety or grief where we just never “measured up” so there is this wall of judgement and carping and so we fight this , inside ourselves , by saying “fine I wind do anything about it then” rather than examining and separating the trauma-emotions from the otherwise innocent process. And also remembering that “being organised” doesn’t have to look the… Read more »

PiMM Member
Pi

Wind = won’t

Ali
Ali

I love your posts, Pi. xx

PiMM Member
Pi

Aw thanks Lioness xx.

PiMM Member
Pi

Like a couple of ofhters here I’m not sure if this is solely a Virgo thing. Maybe also take a look at the moon’s nodes in your chart, planets in your 4th 7th and 10th houses, and Saturn. Consider comparing your fathers chart and your ex’s. And where these contact yours. If marriage was the time when this problem appeared, maybe there is/was some strong energy in your 7th house that needed integrating or an awarenss of. Harsh and unloving relationship dynamics can leave a deep groove in our hearts.

PiMM Member
Pi

But if you are quite watery and firey, sometimes a Call To Virgo can mean that it has now become a time to pause, gently (water) take stock , and consider if your current actions and responses to the world are making things more difficult than they need to be. Cleansing, investigation, clearing, can be undertaken carefully and with a sense of great compassion for our selves as much as for others. Xxx

PiMM Member
Pi

Virgo energy (like other earth signs, speaking as a cap moon) when misdirected can come across as very “you’re not good enough” so maybe this is a possible consideration?

GemyogiMM Member
Gemyogi

I really like Virgos and find them attractive. I love the cleanliness, sense of order and organisation. I really like to have my living space clean and clear. Also, I have a Taurus stellium so lots of earth energy and practicality. My mum’s a capricorn and she never demonstrates love except by feeding me, which I’ve learned to accept. Dad and sister are Aries and I have Aries rising so totally understand the ‘get shit done’ warrior energy as well. I can see how Cancer rising, Pisces Venus would make you idealistic, caring and very loyal to family. Maybe even… Read more »

virgosunMM Member
virgosun

Bawhaha – cleanliness…me…nope. Trying desperately to become more domestic and organised but it ain’t happening…

Jokerman
Jokerman

You should try being Cancer Sun and Asc V Mars/Venus & others in Virgo. 4 days tidy as then 3days Clothius Roamus Orbital

PiMM Member
Pi

I don’t know a single Virgo man who was / is “tidy” (like it’s some kind of mortal sin to leave stuff on the ground). At least 4 maybe 5 as housemates, the Ten Year Virgo Crush (long gone don’t ask) and the multi Virgo boss. At least one of them – a multi Libra !- deliberately takes jobs that don’t require an ironed shirt. All of them are ridiculously intelligent , the Virgo finesse enacts itself in their analytical skills , so it’s ok, if you have only ironed your Monday and Tuesday jocks and let the rest go… Read more »

PiMM Member
Pi

Goes without saying that their powers of observation always operating at max output. <3 made my psyche happy

PiMM Member
Pi

But. Every single one of them 3rd decan virgos. That’s the decan I wish I would properly fall in love with because omg their MINDS but it never quite seems to transpire

GemyogiMM Member
Gemyogi

I know a few very tidy, organised Virgos. Almost to the point of OCD.

emgMM Member
emg

CDO surely ?!?!?
It has to be alphabetical

GemyogiMM Member
Gemyogi

lol

PiMM Member
Pi

😀

Jokerman
Jokerman

I have to have things tidy but at some stage my Kat untidiness comes through. But when its underwear and sox, its action stations. My workshops are always maintained in an orderly fashion.

emgMM Member
emg

My Virgo ex was not tidy. He had an intellect but not that mind blowing Pisces stuff where the universe opens, meta level stuff. He just did organised pretty well.

hdq
hdq

Oh dear Aries, I so feel ya. Virgo energy is exceedingly difficult. I’ve got nothing but Pallas (1*) and Psyche (8*, bane of my existence), 4th house. The Virgo-heavy friends I’ve had are sufferers, and every time anything whatsoever is in Virgo, I get it, because it is Thee Worst. In the SR that I’m working through this year, I’m Virgo RIsing -moon-Jupiter-NN, and I’ve never been so utterly miserable and mentally unwell. There is not a doubt in my mind that Chiron is the true Virgoan ruler. Perhaps keeping the pain in mind can give you more compassion for… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman

That’s funny about Chiron. I asked Mystic same question about a week ago. It seems a fit in some ways.

GemyogiMM Member
Gemyogi

Hi HDQ, sorry you’re in a dark space… sending blessings and light to you sister xx

PiMM Member
Pi

While Pisces can be about total self sacrifice (g’day Jesus) , this really isn’t how day to day living (g’day Virgo) works. I think a lot of the fish stuff is circular, we have to re-learn how to get by in a material world even though deep down we know it’s not material at all. Part of this is learning how to keep ourselves alive. Food, oxygen, water, shelter, respect from the tribe.

Jokerman
Jokerman

Alcoholic ???

“Joey” was sung by a Virgo.

GemyogiMM Member
Gemyogi

Great song

Jokerman
Jokerman

The sentiment and care in that song is beyond.

ElectroMM Member
Electro

I love it too

marsbar
marsbar

Not enough info to go by. What is the dad’s moon sign and rising if avail? Also his age group? If he was born in the 60’s he could have that Uranus and Pluto signature in Virgo.

F
F

I can empathise – with the strained Virgo energy – having a Virgo stellum (moon, uranus, pluto) as well as Aries Sun, Mercury, Saturn & Lilith! As well as ongoing difficult relationship to Virgo father – and Virgo daughter!! I know it’s foolish to generalise on signs but I definitely feel the struggle with Virgo energy, both mine and others. I do have a couple of Virgo girlfriends and despite the length of friendship I don’t feel the same connection to them as other friends. It’s possible I maintain the friendships just to test my biases! With my Dad it’s… Read more »

isaMM Member
isa

how old is the father? I was born in the ’60s and have a lot of virgo in my chart, but I find that my generation’s parents (born in the ’30s) are really difficult to handle and tend to embody the “astrology cookbook” difficult aspects of virgo. they have neptune in virgo (which I believe doesn’t feel so comfortable in this sign), plus uranus in aries and pluto in cancer => very irritable folks. I thought it was my parents only, but I find that this is a common feature of my friends’ parents, regardless of their sun signs. I… Read more »

McFish
McFish

This is so perceptive. My mother, born 1934, has Mars conjunct Pluto in Cancer and Sun conjunct Neptune in Virgo in 12th house. Crabby and very critical with a desperate need for security and order in daily life, but she grew up during a war, so it’s not surprising.

dizzarinaMM Member
dizzarina

Wow, yes- very perceptive.

My father was born in 1936, and embodied all the low points of Capricorn. I’ve always had issues with Capricorn energy for that reason. (He also had a grand cross with Sun-Moon-Pluto-Uranus! ow)

Now I am in love with a Cap- interestingly, my Juno is in that sign and conj his Sun- so I am seeing the better sides of Capricorn.

emgMM Member
emg

Wow yes
My mother especially is deeply difficult for me too. Jealous needy and angry. I spent most of xmas being incredulous, speaking to her like I would an angry teenager, asking her to raise her take on things rather than lowering everything to a fight. Exhausting.
It’s why I moved away as soon as I could and I still live 350 miles away !

emgMM Member
emg

I married a 1954 Virgo
Complete push over, lovely guy but he never pushed back. Still in touch with him, still feel a lot for him but could not be married to him.

MissDeeMM Member
MissDee

I agree with Mystic here, Aries in need: it has nothing to do with Virgo energy, imho. Virgoan like predictability, things that tend to repeat. They like to preserve things, relationships and their health. They want to be of service so they show you that they care by fixing things for you. Unfortunately they show their fear of losing you by becoming some control freaks. Why do I know this? Because I am Virgo rising with Pluto in my fist house and because my father is a Virgoan. I also have an alcoholic virgoan ex, but I got lucky and… Read more »

PlutoMoonMM Member
PlutoMoon

Well as Aries knows, there is more to a person than just their Sun sign. I know plenty of Virgos and while they do have their similarities, they are all vastly different and varied people in the ways in which they express their personalities. I wouldn’t write off all Virgos just yet. Just beware of the unevolved ones who have issues to sort out. After your experience with your ex, these should be easy to recognize now. So Aries said the full moon is in her (assuming it’s a her – could be a he) house of family, as in… Read more »

PlutoMoonMM Member
PlutoMoon

Jupiter is, however, currently traipsing through her fourth house of family and home, so that is helping to shine the spotlight on these issues. Having this grand cross pop up on her angles is making it front and center.

Amelie
Amelie

My Mars is in Libra. For what it’s worth, I dislike conflict. I prefer to avoid and if possible, leave the situation completely.

Dad also has Moon in Aquarius, and I think that is his rising sign as well.

It’s so obvious and yet only clear now – not all Virgos are the same. Thank you so much Mystic and everyone – I am now choosing to identify Virgo energy with the lovely ones I have known – grounded, caring, always well-accessorised 🙂

Peace. Xx

MCVirgoMM Member
MCVirgo

Yes. Two Virgos that behave badly does not make it all the rest of us.

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