I’m a Sagittarius. I love to travel. I hate commitment. I’m usually up for an adventure over anything that resembles traditional work. So much so I created a business where I take other people away from their daily grind and swap it for fun, travel and healthy activities.
I am also Scorpio moon and rising and I am currently filled with dread.
I’m deeply into a double dose of Saturn transit. First Scorpio, now Sadge. I have not heeded its wisdom. Somehow I’m two years behind on tax paperwork, having never in my life missed a tax return before. Despite earning more than I ever have, I’m also more in debt.
A few weeks ago, on a whim (and the encouragement of some friends there), I booked a flight to Canada, leaving Boxing Day. Ever since I booked it I’ve been full of this icky feeling I can’t explain. I’ve never been not excited about traveling before. The only thing I can attribute it to is that I also have this other feeling, where I want to sequester myself somewhere and do my taxes, finish all the projects I’ve left undone over the past 5 years and not be on anyone else’s schedule but my own for a few weeks. I liken it to ‘cocoon’ time… Wanting to incubate in order to come out the other side a new up-levelled version of me.
Somehow flying across the globe to snowboard and couch surf feels low budget and a distraction from the work I know I need to do, and that I have been avoiding through ‘busyness’ and procrastination for a long time now.
Alongside this feeling, I am also filled with dread at the prospect of having to move this week. When I decided to move out I thought it would feel great to ‘purge’ a whole bunch of crap, let go of my op-shop furniture and streamline my life. This was all being done to minimise my cost of living so I could design my own ‘remote year’ working and traveling the world in 2017. Sounds like a fun, Sadge-friendly thing to do right?
So why am I filled with the same feeling of rising dread that I have about flying to Canada in 6 days about deleveraging crap and streamlining my possessions?!
The move was precipitated by my cushy government contract job ending this Friday so I can’t afford the rent on my current place anymore. The landlord also put up the rent two weeks before Xmas (knob), so regardless I can’t stay here. I’ve wanted to leave the city I live in for years. I tried this time last year but came back three months later when I got offered my current job.
I feel like I’ve fuqued up somehow on following my intuition and the Saturn transit rules of engagement as I fast approach unemployment (I’m also self employed so that’s being a bit dramatic, it’s really just a cash cow that’s being sacrificed!), homelessness and some random travel that’s going to cost a bucket load of money… I don’t know if it’s just fear of change and resistance to growth that’s scaring me or blatant disregard for my own wellbeing that’s making me feel ill?
Oh and I also got my car collected by a drunk driver last week and am waiting to hear if it is repairable or will be written off! I’m hoping for option b so I can splurge on my travels guilt-free…
I naively thought I could get a place to myself to do some work in Canada but it’s new year and everything is booked or millions of dollars so if I go, couch surfing it is!
I considered not going but there’s still that tiny part of me that’s hopeful that when I get my first fresh run on the ski hill it will all be worth it. All of the other parts of me are full of doubt!
Le sigh. Thanks for letting me vent. Is this the transition to the next level or a repeat to finally master the lesson this round?
Dear Scorpy Sadge,
Wow – brilliant lucidity here with this dilemma. I always think that is a third of the battle won for you already. You have elegantly identified the situation. The usual Sagittarius Escape Route/the bolt is not appealing to you so much at this point as (1) it feels a bit old and (2) Saturn is making you think a couple of weeks holed up along doing your taxes could be HOT. Seriously this is how Saturn transits happen. If you are not in Saturn mode or heavily Saturn by nature, you are unlikely to get it.
So okay, first of all congratulations on making your key gig doing something love. I see ALL this as the Saturn Uranus trine manifesting. This is a major theme of my Horoscopes from now on as it is THE signature theme of 2017 and it’s awesome. It’s also a radical upgrade from Saturn square Neptune, that THING that dominated late 2015 and 2016. The Saturn-Uranus synergy is amazing as Saturn is all that solid structure integrity and pragmatic choices while Uranus says innovate, you can turn this shit around in a heart beat – just innovate. They are working together now. It is particularly thrilling for the big chunk of Gen X who were born with Saturn and Uranus in opposition. It’s like a revelation.
And Jupiter – the ruler of Sagittarius – is also amplifying it all by being in aspect to Saturn AND Uranus. So, without this being an actual consult and me not knowing all your astral vibe, this is what i think: Saturn wants people to be passionate and into their work – Uranus pushes for freedom/innovation etc. You’re not into the government gig or even that city – so BAM evicted and booted out of safe job/cocoon. First instinct – flee someplace cool. But not so swiftly says Saturn.
I think go and somehow score the $ to hole up someplace over there, ski AND sort your tax/scheme your next big Awesome innovative business evolution. Or ground yourself and do Saturn Plan A first but with an absolutely fiery determination to streamline and stabilize then pursue that dream scheme. It’s definitely all Vibe pushing you toward self-actualization (having sorted your financials) and having a meaningful work practice. Saturn evokes that and Uranus helps by making stagnation an actual impossibility.
But what does everyone else think?
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