Like so many people whose words adorn your blog, I tend to turn to you when shit gets desperate and reality seems opaque.
As a Libra Sun, Libra Rising, Libra Moon woman, I’ve been poring over all the wondrous promises that should be manifesting right about… well, what seems like ages ago. I’m really struggling to remain positive at the moment.
My beloved, of eight years, a Scorpio, recently returned home from a stint in the motherland where his old friends are all living what sounds like an oddly impossible dream of loved up home ownership in London, all suddenly breeding while juggling phenomenally successful careers (I’m talking topping iTunes charts, secret service, 33 year old woman CEOs etc.)
The eclipse did it’s thing, we parted with sad, confused civility. It seems very tricky to navigate a situation where both parties love one another and even like one another but can’t seem to get long term plans and love languages in sync. We’re attempting a healing separation (which makes me cringe in a oh-god-i’m-turning-gwyneth kind of way, but we really do need space to become ourselves again) I have realized that I am a qi vampire- he feels drained. We have codependency and money issues. blah blah blah.
I’m just keeping my head down, powering through a brand new job that is exceptionally challenging.
I can feel the tendrils of depression sneaking up and around me- the music and art is harder to create. I feel like I was on schedule to change the world while clad in gold but somehow slipped into a parallel universe where I can feel the ghosts of ‘who I might have been’ nudging me every time I’m tempted to curl up in a ball of self pity for 100 years.
In my deepest heart, I know that whatever the outcome, it will eventually be great and better than what we had. And I also secretly feel that we will get through this shitstorm but I’m not sure if I’m delusional/in denial about that.
In short, is there any chance you could give me a hint of advice? Do I cut and run? Do I retain hope? I know that I need to be focusing on my self development- which I think I’m slowly mastering- but I would love a bit of wisdom. Many thanks.
Deep Peace to you,
My Dear Triple Libra,
You convey your circumstance SO eloquently and perhaps I am letting my Mercury run the show but i think this is half the battle won. You know what is going on, your lucidity around the situation is poignant. It’s not murky or gluggy swamp vibe. But okay, some points.
First of all i think being a bit ‘gywneth’ is fine. She copped a lot of crap for her “conscious uncoupling” attempt to frame her marital split but isn’t that better than the stereotype of “toxic divorce.”? Especially for when children are involved. And separations can heal. Although sometimes they are a way to break up without having to talk about that or acknowledge it. I once referred to a major break up as an “evolution” of the relationship. Moon in Libra here.
So let’s break this down some more. Scorpio returns from London with a bad case of Saturn Fever. Saturn has its good side – early nights, reading Marcus Aurelius rather than the Daily Mail for leisure, quantifying your performance, diet, money and well, anything that can be quantified, mature wisdom. But it can also cause HIDEOUS Status Anxiety – when you measure everyone remotely counted as a peer via some sort of revolting finance-media profile-waistline-post/zip code formula of fuqed up matrix.
It seems weird, however, that Scorpio did not return and attempt to enlist you in some sort of a mutual success bender. Also, how come YOU are being cast as the Qi Vampire here? My feeling is always that if you are capable of seeing where you are draining someone’s energy, you are NOT actually a Qi Vampire. Because Qi Vampires just think of it as their entitlement. They will help themselves to your time, attention, charm, connections, money – anything. You only know that they are a Qi Vampire when you turn off the tap. You don’t sound like a Qi Vampire.
So advice, instinctively i think there is more to Scorpio’s junket than he is letting on. He is not just back here having an existential crisis because he did Space Dust on the superior marble bench tops of someone’s superior Power Lair in a superior suburb. My theory is that there is a bit more to this and that you will discover it around about late November – when Jupiter squares Pluto. But by then you won’t care. Why won’t you care?
Because you already know the answer to this. You said yourself: I know that I need to be focusing on my self-development. So without this being a consult, the biggest influence on you as a Triple Libra right now IS Uranus and Uranus is pushing for nothing less than a full-blown self-development revolution. Jupiter in your sign demands growth. Maybe the relationship was the Qi Vampire? Or maybe it wasn’t but you do need a healing separation and then you reconcile down the track?
But the big deal is to obey your own instincts and focus (maniacally) on your self-dev now. Clean slate your everything. Sage everything. Journal. Get Headspace or go to Yoga all the time. Self-pity is pointless but some compassion for yourself is a productivity tool. Recall that as a Triple Libra you are a strategy genius. Hope is not a strategy. Give this Scorpio and yourself all the space in the galaxy – do YOU.
You mentioned (ironically) “doing Gwyneth” – well it’s certainly better to do Gwyneth than to do Lindsay Lohan, right?
What does everyone else think?
Image: Rene Magritte
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