Ask Mystic: A Triple Libra In Search Of Help

Rene Magritte

Dearest Mystic,

Like so many people whose words adorn your blog, I tend to turn to you when shit gets desperate and reality seems opaque.

As a Libra Sun, Libra Rising, Libra Moon woman, I’ve been poring over all the wondrous promises that should be manifesting right about… well, what seems like ages ago. I’m really struggling to remain positive at the moment.

My beloved, of eight years, a Scorpio, recently returned home from a stint in the motherland where his old friends are all living what sounds like an oddly impossible dream of loved up home ownership in London, all suddenly breeding while juggling phenomenally successful careers (I’m talking topping iTunes charts, secret service, 33 year old woman CEOs etc.)

The eclipse did it’s thing, we parted with sad, confused civility. It seems very tricky to navigate a situation where both parties love one another and even like one another but can’t seem to get long term plans and love languages in sync. We’re attempting a healing separation (which makes me cringe in a oh-god-i’m-turning-gwyneth kind of way, but we really do need space to become ourselves again) I have realized that I am a qi vampire- he feels drained. We have codependency and money issues. blah blah blah.

I’m just keeping my head down, powering through a brand new job that is exceptionally challenging.

I can feel the tendrils of depression sneaking up and around me- the music and art is harder to create. I feel like I was on schedule to change the world while clad in gold but somehow slipped into a parallel universe where I can feel the ghosts of ‘who I might have been’ nudging me every time I’m tempted to curl up in a ball of self pity for 100 years.

In my deepest heart, I know that whatever the outcome, it will eventually be great and better than what we had. And I also secretly feel that we will get through this shitstorm but I’m not sure if I’m delusional/in denial about that.

In short, is there any chance you could give me a hint of advice? Do I cut and run? Do I retain hope? I know that I need to be focusing on my self development- which I think I’m slowly mastering- but I would love a bit of wisdom. Many thanks.

Deep Peace to you,

TripleLibra

My Dear Triple Libra,

You convey your circumstance SO eloquently and perhaps I am letting my Mercury run the show but i think this is half the battle won. You know what is going on, your lucidity around the situation is poignant. It’s not murky or gluggy swamp vibe. But okay, some points.

First of all i think being a bit ‘gywneth’ is fine. She copped a lot of crap for her “conscious uncoupling” attempt to frame her marital split but isn’t that better than the stereotype of “toxic divorce.”? Especially for when children are involved.   And separations can heal. Although sometimes they are a way to break up without having to talk about that or acknowledge it. I once referred to a major break up as an “evolution” of the relationship. Moon in Libra here.

So let’s break this down some more. Scorpio returns from London with a bad case of Saturn Fever. Saturn has its good side – early nights, reading Marcus Aurelius rather than the Daily Mail for leisure, quantifying your performance, diet, money and well, anything that can be quantified, mature wisdom.  But it can also cause HIDEOUS Status Anxiety – when you measure everyone remotely counted as a peer via some sort of revolting finance-media profile-waistline-post/zip code formula of fuqed up matrix.

It seems weird, however, that Scorpio did not return and attempt to enlist you in some sort of a mutual success bender. Also, how come YOU are being cast as the Qi Vampire here? My feeling is always that if you are capable of seeing where you are draining someone’s energy, you are NOT actually a Qi Vampire. Because Qi Vampires just think of it as their entitlement. They will help themselves to your time, attention, charm, connections, money – anything. You only know that they are a Qi Vampire when you turn off the tap. You don’t sound like a Qi Vampire.

So advice, instinctively i think there is more to Scorpio’s junket than he is letting on. He is not just back here having an existential crisis because he did Space Dust on the superior marble bench tops of someone’s superior Power Lair in a superior suburb.  My theory is that there is a bit more to this and that you will discover it around about late November – when Jupiter squares Pluto.  But by then you won’t care. Why won’t you care?

Because you already know the answer to this. You said yourself: I know that I need to be focusing on my self-development.  So without this being a consult, the biggest influence on you as a Triple Libra right now IS Uranus and Uranus is pushing for nothing less than a full-blown self-development revolution. Jupiter in your sign demands growth. Maybe the relationship was the Qi Vampire? Or maybe it wasn’t but you do need a healing separation and then you reconcile down the track?

But the big deal is to obey your own instincts and focus (maniacally) on your self-dev now. Clean slate your everything.  Sage everything. Journal. Get Headspace or go to Yoga all the time. Self-pity is pointless but some compassion for yourself is a productivity tool. Recall that as a Triple Libra you are a strategy genius. Hope is not a strategy. Give this Scorpio and yourself all the space in the galaxy – do YOU. 

You mentioned (ironically) “doing Gwyneth” – well it’s certainly better to do Gwyneth than to do Lindsay Lohan, right?

What does everyone else think?

Image: Rene Magritte

 

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bossladyMM Member
bosslady

Pussy always controls the relationship – even if she doesn’t realize it. If cock is leaving, it’s because (maybe unconsciously), pussy is no longer interested…or pussy needs to find herself and turn herself on! You can’t turn anyone else on until you’re “turned on” yourself. By turn on, I mean, not just sexually, but in regards to living life / having fun / doing things that you want to do.

Kelly
Kelly

Release the past. One of the hardest things for me in recent years (yes, multi libra here) has been to let go of what might have been/should of/could of. You do what you can in your own time. you make decisions at the time that are the best that you can make. Hindsight is always perfect. Screw the past. There is still time. This is STILL your time. And now perhaps you are at the place to make it what you want your future to be not live the dream of someone else by comparison. You don’t know what compromise,… Read more »

AnkhRising8.0MM Member
AnkhRising8.0

Mystic asked, “Maybe the relationship was the Qi Vampire? Maybe it wasn’t…?” Yes, maybe it was! Or maybe it had just run its course in its current form. I’ve had relationships like that, where we could both feel the earth shifting under our feet but in separate directions… Didn’t make it hurt any less, but what can you do? No one or no thing to put a finger on.

This is your window opening, Triple Libra. *inhale* x

Lux Interior Is My Co-PilotMM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

Oh my….in my experience Scorps can be VERY good at making your feel like YOU’RE THE CRAZY ONE. It’s like an evil super-power. (Aside: Anyone seen Girl on a Train? WOW). But yeah, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. If he’s so impressed by all these so-called sucessful London wunderkinds then why isn’t he following suit? Saturn anxiety indeed. “can’t seem to get long term plans and love languages in sync.” This doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It could be that this person’s ‘plans’ differ greatly from yours. OK, you want different things. Doesn’t make… Read more »

cynthiaMM Member
cynthia

Scorpios do this kind of ruthless surgically precise cut and vanish.

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

Great post, great advice, great comments! Last night I came across a mini book by Yogananda called You can talk to God. He says that you need to be like a baby calling it’s mamma. You don’t give up because of the warm silky blanket, you don’t give up because you are full, you keep crying till you get that embrace and that voice in the ear. Is that not the essence of codependency? It seems built in to our biology at that level. He said God gives wealth, love, friends, all the tinsel crowns of the material world, partners,… Read more »

davidlMM Member
davidl

Yes ! And most importantly attribute all those good fortunes back to God. Eventually one can become the instrument of God in every waking hour. Power ? Wealth ? Love ? .. hand it back ! Surrender ! This information is all anyone needs to know. Our everything.

davidlMM Member
davidl

And most importantly teach your children this from day one. It’s our only duty as a parent. The greatest gift one can bestow.

davidlMM Member
davidl

When you learn it as a child it becomes second nature. Like learning to read or write.
The krsnas also have this beautiful tenant. By describing krsna as a baby a brother a cousin we too can see god as any of those relationships. Many women love and respect krsna as baby krsna, he was very cute 🙂

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

Thank you! Yes, I had moment of clarity and had to share it with my son. But he wanted to know if I was finished talking so he could play on the iPad.. 😯 But we have been doing Denise Linn Meditations and Smiling Minds at night, so I might make one based on this concept to play at night! Krsna baby is so cute! I think he is distractingly cute; also I feel like I have a little Krsna in the house already. How good are your kids at understanding this concept by the way? The idea that we… Read more »

davidlMM Member
davidl

I’m in the process of passing on to my 17 yo boy both Tree of life and merkabah teachings. 2 branches of the same tree but quite different paths. I chose mine at his age and now it’s his choice. All the kids have their own view of relationship to spirit, the youngest a very relaxed comfy one, the older ones seem to need ritual to connect. I’m very conscious of an old saying .. when the father is silent , the child seeks God directly. I have to be careful not to impose my views and beliefs. They have… Read more »

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

So true for me, “when the father is silent , the child seeks God directly.” My own father talked about his feeling there might be a God once and that was it, but I was determined to work it out as best I could. I wish I had someone to help me choose a spiritual path at 17, that would have been amazing! Can you share more on the two paths? I show my kids crystals and we do guided meditation and play games where we imagine what the crystal would tell us to help us, but I rarely directly… Read more »

cortazoneMM Member
cortazone

Haha going gwenyth! Too funny .

LiberatingVenusMM Member
LiberatingVenus

Whenever a relationship sours or ends, *the* single best investment you will ever make is in yourself & your own enrichment. Pull the energy away from Another and use this to fuel a powerful transformation – I promise it will pay dividends. I know it’s easy to focus on the loss and fixate upon the Void, but the Clearing is actually holding extremely fertile space for the seeds you plant & cultivate with very conscious intention. Tend your garden well, my love….sending Venus/Pluto blessings that the end of this relationship proves to be the catalyst for profound and empowering insights… Read more »

Scorpio_RisingMM Member
Scorpio_Rising

great advice.

CleverUserIDMM Member
CleverUserID

“Because you already know the answer to this … I need to be focusing on my self-development. Jupiter in your sign demands growth.” And here in lies the angst. Sun Libra here. I am un-partnered for the first time in decades (like FOUR!). It hurts. On a visceral level. As a Libra I ache for relationship ALL the time, dreaming of the ones with whom I tried and didn’t meet the mark because I forgot the most important one of all. The one with myself. Where I love myself until it hurts. I have NEVER taken the time to do… Read more »

JaneyMM Member
Janey

Dear Libra,

You already know what to do. Follow your truth. Don’t take on his stuff, give it back. you’ve already owned your part of it. What an adventure and exciting path you are on- discovering how amazing you are!! X

Unicorn SparklesMM Member
Unicorn Sparkles

Should’ve.could’ve. didn’t.
Like they say, ” don’t look back, you’re not going that way”. Because life isn’t about what you may have missed. It’s about what you are yet to achieve.

that Gwyneth conscious uncoupling thing may have sounded dippy, but it seems to have worked out pretty well.

saturnplutofluxMM Member
saturnplutoflux

Like TVF said “it’s ok to mourn disappointment”, actually it’s essential, otherwise you’ll be working over this shiz again in a yr or 10…just don’t let it become a point of bitterness. I’m also triple Libra and seem to finally becoming up for air thanks to this Uranus vibe. Just keep “consciously uncoupling ” from ALL the bits that aren’t you… After years of chronic illness and a decade’s absence from the healing/massage/energy work scene I recently shut out the world and started mainlining youtube videos 24/7 on energy/emotions/etc. All the accretions of the last 10 yrs plus the unhealed… Read more »

saturnplutofluxMM Member
saturnplutoflux

oops, how did that first one get there?

MutableMabel
MutableMabel

I agree with this. It’s hard to let yourself experience a low period without furiously trying to scramble out of it, but I think it’s often necessary, and absolutely part of self development.

meagain
meagain

despite me not bring a triple libra. i do have libra 5stellium.. and this being written on my bday 10/10 i feel this is so poignant for me to read and reply of thanks to both the querant and writer there are many similar vibes in my story andvthe dismay despair doesnt keep away for many moments yhese days… i did think it was because my libra is down in the deep dark depths of IC3/4 but on reading some other libras woes there seems to be a bit of a theme here… my sympathies o_O but positive hopes for… Read more »

saturnplutofluxMM Member
saturnplutoflux

Like TVF said “it’s ok to mourn disappointment”, actually it’s essential, otherwise you’ll be working over this shiz again in a yr or 10…just don’t let it become a point of bitterness. I’m also triple Libra and seem to finally becoming up for air thanks to this Uranus vibe. Just keep “consciously uncoupling ” from ALL the bits that aren’t you…

p.s. Strategy is a Libran trait? I had no idea. Gonna work that too now!

baristagemMM Member
baristagem

Hope is not a strategy

Great advice MM!

LeoEscapeArtistMM Member
LeoEscapeArtist

pure gold 🙂

davidlMM Member
davidl

Shit I better cross that one off the list. Is faith a strategy ?

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

I think so, it’s extremely hard work remaining in the faith vibration. Work is a kind of strategy?

finkle
finkle

Rising sign libra, sun, jupiter, saturn, pluto all libra. I have recently taken up playing Shakuhachi and getting really into Zen meditations. Just did a 7 day silent meditation retreat the best thing i have ever done cleared the way for vast perspective and a commanding hold of the bamboo flute. Then on first evening on arrival home I hear a a guttural moan coming from the back of a police paddy wagon. I listen…. been very sensitive to noise i take great interest in it qualities and the pain that was been expressed. The police ask me to move… Read more »

davidlMM Member
davidl

You can’t end the story there you big tease. Chapter 2 please 🙂

davidlMM Member
davidl

When one finds silence one can feel the pain of the world.
Potok

CarrieMM Member
Carrie

I’m just the same as you – Libra rising, Sun, Jupiter, Saturn, Pluto. These days I’m seething with annoyance and rebelliousness. I feel like everyone has been taking advantage and that I’m fed up.
So I recognise the urge to provoke authority. But not so much the urge to go zen for 7 days. 🙂

CarrieMM Member
Carrie

As an aside: What planet would rule the ”f… everything” feeling? Uranus?

finkle
finkle

i recommend breathing meditations, annoyance and rebelliousness can be great motivators when rode down the right track.

MollyBlueDawnMM Member
MollyBlueDawn

“I feel like I was on schedule to change the world while clad in gold but somehow slipped into a parallel universe where I can feel the ghosts of ‘who I might have been’ nudging me every time I’m tempted to curl up in a ball of self pity for 100 years.”

As a Sagittarius, this reminded me eerily of the many awful years of Pluto in Sagittarius. My sympathetically stomach-churned response is to find a way to blame Pluto. May Jupiter disperse the Plutonic miasma and bring you many opportunities to do the rewarding work of self-development!

Annica
Annica

I agree with Mystic. i smell secrets! Wait it out. The truth always comes out eventually.

davidlMM Member
davidl

I like your take on this Myst, give him lots of space to find out that all is not what it seems in Paradise and of course to play out the secret ‘other’ thing that seems to have slipped his mind in his explanation. Now, “conscious uncoupling” to me sounds like the time I had no choice but to call an emergency vet when my dog was literally tightly screwed into his female consort and needed to get out of there or lose his manhood. I thought of a cold bucket of water but wasn’t sure if that was just… Read more »

davidlMM Member
davidl

By the way the pass agg here is PHD quality. Living many years now with a crab and I’ve begun to understand and respond to quality material. Seriously you and her in the same room discussing something distasteful would be like an expert clinic. 😉

msrod1029MM Member
msrod1029

When someone walks out if your life, let them go.
You’re already above it all. Believe.

davidlMM Member
davidl

Yep, hit the road jack ..

msrod1029MM Member
msrod1029

Took me a very very long time to get that one. Took Saturn in Scorpio to drive it home.

davidlMM Member
davidl

That’s the only aspect of self reliance that anyone needs. That feeling that you can let someone leave without it crippling you. The hard part of this flow is the bad feelings that can come up, about the other party or yourself. My way fits my Aries style. Feel it ! Immediate release of my truth via possibly loud statements. Then it’s gone ! I’m good 🙂 I’ve been really studying a particular I Ching hexagram, 40, ‘deliverance’ It has relevance here again so a quote … The relief you experience here is not your own personal pardon, but the… Read more »

msrod1029MM Member
msrod1029

Perfect. Love this. See them for who they are.
? thank you for this.

Jokerman
Jokerman

Thanx D.

MutableMabel
MutableMabel

Saturn in Scorpio was it, wasn’t it? Me too. Ouch, that was a rough one.

msrod1029MM Member
msrod1029

Yes, indeed it was…and me being Scorpio, with Libra rising…mastery of the self was in order.

Scorpio_RisingMM Member
Scorpio_Rising

and dontcha look back no more, no more…I love this song.

SeriousShine
SeriousShine

My first thought – if someone needs to be with successful people in order to be successful, and you are no longer successful enough – they have self-disclosed as a Qi vampire. Cut, recharge, create and shine. Gotta love the vampires, they know where the stellar qi is. Trust his judgement on that one.

VenusRising
VenusRising

Amen to that. X

BLISS WITCHMM Member
BLISS WITCH

I think it’s probably more codependency than qi vamp. I have a bit of the old codependency issues myself- may I recommend marrying a haute Leo for that? They radiate enough love for the neediest fuqers haha and they NEVER doubt your sincerity when you’re exaggerating how wonderful they are.

I have a Scorpio girlfriend that had some codependency issues with her lover…. and interesting as far as asteroids go they had Narcissus and Echo conjunct in both their charts- I would love to do a survey of those asteroids amongst the codependent!!

UniversaliMM Member
Universali

I’m going to look into that! I am defo co-dependent. A friend gave me a book to read on it and it was the first I had heard of co-dependency. I read the first half of it thinking how terribly negative all the people were and also like…what’s wrong with being co-dependent, isn’t that what a relationship is?! Aren’t you mean to rely on each other and depend on each other? Lol..that was a few years ago and now I know exactly what’s wrong with it, doesn’t make it easy to change tho…

davidlMM Member
davidl

I think every one is co dependent and the idea of being totally self reliant is nonsense. Remember Barbra’s song … people who need people are the luckiest people …to me it’s a true and honest insight into a happy life.
Vamping on someone is a totally different scenario and often the strategy of the so called self reliant.

saturnplutofluxMM Member
saturnplutoflux

yeh, interesting…the observation on the “self reliant” rings some uncomfortable bells. And I agree with you re. the validity of needing someone and the benefits gained there from…

UniversaliMM Member
Universali

Thanks David.. I feel the same. The person who gave me the book was someone who had great sway over me & I felt very uncomfortable with the ‘co-dependency’ chat.
However it is a theme that has recurred synchronically (?) over the last 2 yrs and I’m not really sure with how I feel about my role in my human relationships anymore. I’m st a loss in general right now and overthinking..

Unicorn SparklesMM Member
Unicorn Sparkles

Totally agree. Have a friend who alienates friends and undermines herself because she won’t ask for help. It’s a twisted sense of self reliance but also turns into her feeling alone, isolated and getting ripped off for $$ by trades. She’s long term single as has learnt that the only constant is herself. It’s both a strength and a weakness.

skarabMM Member
skarab

Yes, I have one of those friends too – she has to prove all the time that she’s totally self reliant. I applaud anyone who strives to be – but not at the cost of self-harm to proof a point. We are also social creatures dependant on one another for survival – physically, mentally & emotionally. It’s all about give & take & the BALANCE of this dynamic. Not so easy sometimes.

CleverUserIDMM Member
CleverUserID

codependence is a serious malfunction in the ability to relate with others, it’s not a simple matter of being dependent on one another. there is supporting one another and then there is depending on another so completely you lose yourself. there are plenty of well written books on the subject should you care to educate yourself on the subject. please don’t belittle it. it can and does destroy people’s lives. the word can get tossed about loosely like so many are these days, without a full understanding of the meaning. codependency is a no less serious matter than depression, anxiety,… Read more »

davidlMM Member
davidl

I remember reading something many years ago that made lots of sense to me. It was about a parents reaction to events in our infancy… when a child cuts its hand or has a fall don’t make out the world is about to end. Don’t overdo the anxiety and scale of the accident. The infant is looking to the parent to judge the seriousness of the situation and if there is panic from the parent the child will respond with panic and anxiety. This scale can stay with us for life and imprint itself so deeply that even minor accidents… Read more »

CleverUserIDMM Member
CleverUserID

thank you for your clarification of the specificity of your comments to your thoughts on this one situation and not codependency in general. i believe all emotional wounds can be healed with the right tools and work put in by the individual, but do agree, all life experience falls on a spectrum. it’s not all black and white, and the dualistic nature of our prevailing paradigm has caused so very much harm for many. *blessings*

Meredith
Meredith

I agree with your interpretation of Triple Lib’s lucidity of the situation, MM. It’s spot on. It is written so clearly. I was able to set myself in that situation and even feel what it feels like to be going through it. I went through a similar scenario 6 years ago – a separation from a Scorpio Sun and it wasn’t nearly as civil sounding as this. I went into it very blindly and not as secure. It took me a year to realize I needed to be on the self-dev path – and Trible Lib, you know it right… Read more »

Meredith
Meredith

Actually it was more like 7 years ago 2009, I went through that life changing experience. Wow – can’t believe it’s been that long.

Venusian8MM Member
Venusian8

Oh how I love mystic… “he did Space Dust on the superior marble bench tops of someone’s superior Power Lair in a superior suburb”.

CleverUserIDMM Member
CleverUserID

i know right!?!!!!

skarabMM Member
skarab

YES! Love that too.
Also:
*But (Saturn) can also cause HIDEOUS Status Anxiety – when you measure everyone remotely counted as a peer via some sort of revolting finance-media profile-waistline-post/zip code formula of fuqed up matrix.* POW!! LOL!

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

FYI it’s okay to “mourn” disappointment. Even when I was feeling let down last night, I still felt joy and ecstasy in my heart. You gotta be with what you feel authentically I believe. But than you keep going. I think I’ve been to the Underworld enough times (shit, I think I own property there) where I can “pace” the lower moments, vent it out in some way that doesn’t harm me or others directly before picking myself up and keep going. Also – remember your victories. 20 years ago, this type of shit would have made me feel defeated.… Read more »

VenusRising
VenusRising

Yep again!

I keep thinking: Julia Margaret Cameron didn’t take up photography till the age of 48, Julia Child didn’t write her first cook book until 50, Vera Wang didn’t design her first dress until she was 40…

..who’d want success at 19 when you look at these examples?? You get to keep your dignity AND your clothes on. : )

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

I totally “get” where they are from. It is intense to see people reach a place in their goals where the money/accolades seem to be pouring in while you are still planting seeds with no harvest in sight. I had a 3-day meltdown last week. Taurus tenacity got me up again and doing the work. However, last night I blew a MAJOR submission via the computer and now I have to wait another year before I can even think of applying. It sucks. Interestingly enough, I didn’t take it too hard. I did weep a little, but more from “Damn,… Read more »

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

P.S. Here’s a British Libra track for you to get through the times 🙂

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvCE1gpmltg

VenusRising
VenusRising

Venus Fly, are you me? I just read this and went: 3 day meltdown last week = yep 2 year slog + lose arm fat = yep 12 build up of shit to blow = yep I crunched the numbers!! : ) We also have very similar names. So I just read this first post you did and had to reply, will read the rest for your amazing insight now. (At the end of it, I was reminded of my former boss, the self made Cap mega millionaire on Australia’s tall poppy syndrome: “Yeah, okay, you’re a little Aussie battler.… Read more »

PiMM Member
Pi

So though I have emotionally worked through stuff, because not much is going with my tangibly the ghosts still linger in my head. ”

I get this. Yes. Like we get to a point of self-stuff -work and it’s only when we then rub up against the outside world and ppl or new relationship that the bits that need to be buffed/recalibrated/ditched (more) become evident.

milleunanotteMM Member
milleunanotte

Yes very much. And then that groan of Whyyyyyy I Just Did This All By Myself. But one definitely has to rub off the bumpy sharp bits when we deal with our loved, loving and equally raw Others… Well, thanks Saturn in 1st House for the polishing material, but ohhh goooodddd we just did your stuff in the 12th?? Funnily enough, i just lost my work dice. (Oh christ please don;t even ask why i have dice for work…they’re red..and they tend to weight 1 or 6s, but whtever…l.ost now. Piscean Sag Neptunian Jupiterian just rolls her freaking eyes. Mars… Read more »