If The Sun Signs Were In A D-List Sci-Fi

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There is no better way to understand the Sun Signs traits than to visualize them in a D-List science fiction movie, all on a space ship together. In every space movie, there are always Virgos or people with Virgo Vision.

They’re making sensible suggestions about abandoned space stations and space cruisers mysteriously returning from ghost protocol. The Librans may be good at intergalactic diplomacy, and the Aries more intrepid but Virgo will be the one not getting all goo-goo about the alien eggs hatching.

But imagine them trying to sway the Sagittarians. “Forbidden planet? What does that even mean? I’m punching in the landing trajectories now.”

Or Pisceans:  “What happens if I press this button? Oh wow, I just did. What’s that siren?” 

Having said all that, it’s bound to be a Water sign who notices that the artificial intelligence managing the D-list sci-fi space ship has turned evil.

And betcha the Aquarius would have already merged with the alien. Or, who had been one all along.

Thoughts?  I am giving away lifetime Mega Mystic memberships (worth $1988) to the three top commenters.

Preference will be given to the ones that best illustrate the Sun signs traits by examples of the Sun Signs in space.

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leogroover
leogroover
September 20, 2016 7:34 pm

Congrats, You MM peeps gave me the biggest laughs for weeks. So blessed thank you

Ampersand
Ampersand
September 20, 2016 12:04 am

Absolutely we should. This was a hoot. Congrats to the winners X

Jokerman
Jokerman
September 20, 2016 2:42 am
Reply to  Ampersand

My sediments exactly.
Congratz 3 x Winners

sphinx
sphinx
September 20, 2016 2:28 am
Reply to  Mystic

So cool! Congratulations winnahz!!

Yes please MM – I love these quirky original writers here 🙂

Cherry Moon
Cherry Moon
September 20, 2016 2:47 am
Reply to  Mystic

Thank you so much Mystic. I cannot believe I won despite having left out THE most crucial bit of the story which is related to the Virgo Syndrome. After the bit where Dr Virgo wipes down all surfaces with Germzap after naked Sagg had been, should read: **Dr Virgo had also voiced her concerns at so many comings and goings of Special Field Officer Sagg in the tele-transporter. She was worried that it would attract the GalaxPol’s attention. No one listened, for they had all become immune to her constant worries – even though she had been correct most of… Read more »

davidl
davidl
September 20, 2016 4:58 am
Reply to  Cherry Moon

Yeah, maybe she’ll change her mind next week 🙂

Irene
Irene
September 20, 2016 3:42 am
Reply to  Mystic

Yay! I am honored.
Obviously, I’m a big fan and a long-time lurker, so thank you so much!

davidl
davidl
September 20, 2016 4:52 am
Reply to  Irene

And now a lifetime subscriber … !

Sam
Sam
September 20, 2016 6:10 am
Reply to  Mystic

total pleasure to read all of them .. wouldn’t want to be the one to decide ! well done yall : D

FireTryin'
FireTryin'
September 20, 2016 8:02 am
Reply to  Mystic

Congratulations!!!

Alouetta
Alouetta
September 20, 2016 2:34 pm
Reply to  Mystic

This was well fun! Congrats winners!

davidl
davidl
September 19, 2016 4:23 pm

Aries- let’s get going
Taurus- I’m packed
Gem – batteries charged
Cancer- waters boiled
Leo – smile for the camera , *click*
Virgo – all systems double checked
Libra – it’s looking good
Scorpio – Never fear, Smith is here
Sag – god help us
Cap – when I give the order
Aqua – ready for take off
Pisces – every one wave

BLAST OFF ######

Ali
Ali
September 19, 2016 5:08 pm
Reply to  davidl

“every one wave”
Hysterical!

Sam
Sam
September 19, 2016 8:04 pm
Reply to  davidl

Perfect lol

davidl
davidl
September 20, 2016 4:54 am
Reply to  davidl

Did anyone get my Dr. Zachary Smith reference 🙁

Cherry Moon
Cherry Moon
September 20, 2016 4:59 am
Reply to  davidl

Of course – It was not lost on me 😉

davidl
davidl
September 20, 2016 5:24 am
Reply to  Cherry Moon

🙂 thank you x

Jokerman
Jokerman
September 20, 2016 2:00 pm
Reply to  davidl

Hard to miss it. I just did not see the “Green Lady” reference.

davidl
davidl
September 20, 2016 2:49 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

That cracked me up big time P. 🙂

Jokerman
Jokerman
September 20, 2016 3:19 pm
Reply to  davidl

Glad you liked the not so obvious reference.

Cherry Moon
Cherry Moon
September 19, 2016 3:12 pm

After the main shock wore off, Captain Crab marvelled at her space refractive poncho. She couldn’t believe it had saved her life. It had rendered her invisible when the GalaxPol busted into the ship and killed her crew. If only she had crocheted more, she could have saved them all. She mourned her crew. She and her 11 renegades had been travelling incognito in the cargo pods of an old ramscoop ship they had hijacked after a job had gone bad, and were forced to abandon her old ship. It was going to be a long journey in this slower-than-light… Read more »

leogroover
leogroover
September 19, 2016 7:02 pm
Reply to  Cherry Moon

OMG . They
are all brill and I have had many laughs but CM yours take the space cake. well done

Cherry Moon
Cherry Moon
September 20, 2016 8:46 am
Reply to  leogroover

Thank you!!

davidl
davidl
September 19, 2016 7:08 pm
Reply to  Cherry Moon

I’m always a sucker for a poncho reference x

Sam
Sam
September 19, 2016 8:05 pm
Reply to  Cherry Moon

Omg this.
also I have been trying to understand kataka vibe better lately (my 4 th house again) and bizarrely this helps

Cherry Moon
Cherry Moon
September 20, 2016 8:45 am
Reply to  Sam

Well thank you. I’m glad it helped – that’s a great complement. 🙂

leogroover
leogroover
September 20, 2016 7:40 pm
Reply to  Sam

That is hilar too. I’m on the tail end of a crab relationship. soo glad to be out his claws/clutches. but he won’t let go and probably won’t ever. I’m a kataka venus so I understand. I’m returning for a holiday close to his lair this weekend but he is in the clutches of jealous Scorpio woman. I’m staying well away and giggling.

Ampersand
Ampersand
September 19, 2016 12:01 am
Reply to  Mystic

How canny of you to set a writing competition on a Mercury Retro, when you said the writing would be good. I see what you did there. I SAW THE THING YOU DID! I can’t improve on these, really enjoying reading them though.

davidl
davidl
September 19, 2016 4:24 pm
Reply to  Ampersand

Aye she’s a canny lass..

Ampersand
Ampersand
September 18, 2016 11:00 pm

Haha, this is too funny having just watched Guardians of the Galaxy again.
Starlord going back into burning mine complex to retrieve his Walkman. Has to be Aries.

Groot is a Pisces, right? “We are Groot” 🙂

StarBaies
StarBaies
September 18, 2016 2:50 pm

Earths inhabitants are forced to find life elsewhere and colonize another planet, HL-666. Groups of 12 are sent to different systems, and as they are sent off, they are given the mission by the World Leader to “go boldly where no one has gone before, as youre the last chance humanity has to seed itself and start anew.” Gemini live tweets this. Aries: “I HAVE the greatest idea!! Sagittarius: “WHAAAAAAT??? NO WAAAYY!!!! WHAT IS IT??” Aries: “I WILL GO where no one has gone before!! Someone told me IM THE LAST CHANCE humanity has to seed itself and start NEW!!… Read more »

Ampersand
Ampersand
September 18, 2016 11:46 pm
Reply to  StarBaies

“Sagg shows up in a patchwork hot mess of a suit with stripes, paisleys and sequins cut out into chaps on the bottom half”

Brilliant.

Irene
Irene
September 18, 2016 2:42 pm

It is 2388 AD, and planet Earth has not survived the age of technology; the robots have taken over and the planet as we know it was destroyed. Twelve brave souls have managed to escape, and are now embarking on a journey of a lifetime… Cancer comes running on the deck. Guys, guys! I can’t seem to find The Guide! I looked for it everywhere – tearing up – how are we ever find our way to Ixon now?! I knew you shouldn’t have been in charge of The Guide, says Aries; it should have been ME, and you all… Read more »

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
September 19, 2016 2:09 am
Reply to  Irene

AAAAAhhhhh

I’ll cut their food ratios by half; by half, you understand me? I’ll eat them myself, and I’ll make them watch me.

I’m Dying.

davidl
davidl
September 19, 2016 8:34 pm
Reply to  Irene

OMG, the aqua robot ! You got me.

Irene
Irene
September 20, 2016 3:43 am
Reply to  davidl

…they seem almost human, don’t they? 😀

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus
September 18, 2016 9:20 am

Sun Signs in SPAAAAAACE! 😀 (I am putting this here as a placeholder since I’m not sure when the competition ends – will add the rest later when I have time) We all know that our intrepid Aries is going to be the first one to colonize Mars; probably the one to start the first intergalactic war, too! 😛 Our Ramzilla is *THE* definition of “to boldly go” – do you know that Captain James T. Kirk is himself a Sun conjunct Mars in Aries?? When not busy conquering the universe, Aries enjoys a rousing lightsaber fight, asteroid spelunking, and… Read more »

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus
September 18, 2016 5:31 pm

Libra is, of course, the ship’s Peace Ambassador – their ability to charm others and maintain grace under pressure makes them invaluable assets in securing needed treaties with other intergalactic factions. When not engaged in diplomatic missions, Libra usually spends its time assessing other crew members and/or cosmic denizens for suitable coupling compatibility. 😛 Our Scorpio – and mark my words on this – will be the first to colonize Pluto. Scorpio is undying, can survive even the most inhospitable terrain, and since it figured out the secret to Eternal Life has decided to embark upon the long, dark mission… Read more »

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus
September 19, 2016 10:11 am

WOW, this is pretty freaky re: my Pisces/Holodeck musing – check THIS surreal piece of info out…!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holodeck#Features

Excerpted from the Wikipedia link:

“Scientists and researchers predict that variations of the holodeck will become a consumer-ready product (without matter materialization) by 2024…”

O_O

Look at the timing – right around the time of the Saturn/Neptune conjunction in Aries I was speculating about above…! I will *flip* if this turns out to be an actual manifestation of that conjunction!

Sam
Sam
September 18, 2016 8:39 am

Gonzo the Aries strode into the room with an air of delight and followed by a cloud of Lynx deodorant (“Africa”). HEY EVERYONE he bellowed NEWS OF A NEW PLANETOID IN THE SATURN NEBULA!! W000t !! WHO’S UP FOR CHECKING IT OUT? LETS GO SHIP’S READY TOMOZ , VICTOR THE VIRGO’S ALREADY ONNIT ARENTCHA VIC *heartily backslaps Vic, who was about to take a sip of peppermint tea and instead spills it on his lap* priscilla the pisces looked up from her draft research paper which had been giving her a headache. It was about the long-range effect of quantum… Read more »

Sam
Sam
September 18, 2016 8:40 am
Reply to  Sam

to be continued maybe

Gemricorn
Gemricorn
September 18, 2016 8:52 am
Reply to  Sam

Lynx deodorant!! toooo funny

Sam
Sam
September 19, 2016 3:06 am
Reply to  Gemricorn

it just seemed right haha

Chrysalis
Chrysalis
September 19, 2016 3:22 am
Reply to  Sam

Hahaha Professor Imatwat lol I’m sure I’ve met him in my university

Alouetta
Alouetta
September 18, 2016 2:01 pm
Reply to  Sam

“Africa” 🙂

Ampersand
Ampersand
September 18, 2016 11:52 pm
Reply to  Alouetta

I know, right, Africa, hehehehehehe too funny

Seems autobiographical too, Pi, although we all know IRL you would be twirling a lock of your tentacles. We want more!

Sam
Sam
September 19, 2016 3:11 am
Reply to  Ampersand

need to find that elastic time 😉 haha x

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
September 19, 2016 2:07 am
Reply to  Sam

MY GOD I WANT THIS TO BE A NOVEL

Sam
Sam
September 19, 2016 3:07 am

i’m really struggling to contain all the ideas i have in one post, lol! can’t focus on this rn dammit lol x

Sam
Sam
September 19, 2016 3:08 am
Reply to  Sam

(all the lolz)

davidl
davidl
September 19, 2016 8:27 pm
Reply to  Sam

Gonzo ? Puleez ..

Sam
Sam
September 20, 2016 2:31 am
Reply to  davidl

I was thinking hunter s Thompson rather than Mel Brooks

davidl
davidl
September 20, 2016 4:50 am
Reply to  Sam

Shit i was thinking sesame street 😉

Gemricorn
Gemricorn
September 18, 2016 8:36 am

At the droid factory on planet zanderkirk aqua male robot builder is having a meltdown. Aqua Male – “Don’t you GET it? The XY zenith C+ program is overheating from the sudden influx of zanzibar liquid rushing the mainframe. I TOLD you to reinforce our firewall from the bahwhee government spyware – the droid’s are regressing to their lowest function setting – call PISCES” Virgonic – “Look I tried – he’s not answering the phone – Ok, recalibrate the binary. If we can regulate the overall settings I can get Saggi-male to fly out in the centaur2 and double check… Read more »

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
September 18, 2016 11:45 pm
Reply to  Gemricorn

Droidyonce!!!!!!!!!

AAAAHHHHH!!!

FireTryin'
FireTryin'
September 18, 2016 7:10 am

Here’s my attemp. Was fun writing it. Interpecies Communication Expert Virgo is seen in the background, collating pages as they come out of the printer. Captain Aries is pacing with a headset on, talking to Central Command: “I don’t care whose done or not done it. It needs done and were doing it.” Virgo hands the printout to Captain Aries, who flips through it, Virgo points out the references and index at back, plus table of contents. Aries flashes an impatient glance at Virgo. “OK!” Virgo walks away. Aries throws the report onto his chair, but it misses and lands… Read more »

FireTryin'
FireTryin'
September 18, 2016 7:10 am
Reply to  FireTryin'

“attempt”

Sam
Sam
September 18, 2016 10:37 am
Reply to  FireTryin'

I really like this. Pisces is probably not so much meditating as fantasizing about the Scorpio while also giggling at Gemini’s quip alol

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
September 18, 2016 5:47 am

thoughts in a spacecraft Aries: Blast off is my favourite part. The might of Man. My triumph over physics, gravity, destiny. Taurus: Will we have enough food for the journey and why is there no couch on board? I hope to grow a small vegetable garden on board ship. Gemini: How is the internet signal from outer space? Live tweeting this takeoff, while sexting my girlfriend and listening to music and planning my next novel. Cancer: I miss my mum. And cat. At least there will be a lot of time to crochet on board. I will make warm snuggly… Read more »

Alouetta
Alouetta
September 19, 2016 3:16 am

‘You outta know’ is the most Scorp song ever!! I just watched a bunch of girls karaoke it the other night and it was mega-cathartic.

leogroover
leogroover
September 19, 2016 7:20 pm

“and my highlights will be grown” EXACTLY what I ,as a triple Leo, would be thinking and worrying about until some sort of space bling came along to distract me. Spot on LIIMC

Alouetta
Alouetta
September 18, 2016 5:38 am

Officer Virgo has been alone on Mars for 11 days, 3 hours, 13 minutes and counting since a horrific sandstorm blew the crew away and brought a lot of dust inside. Day 1: Reattaches right arm, cleans station. Day 2: Finds Officer Saggi’s music collection. Uses Disco Inferno to fuel the life support system. Day 3: Scraps Officer Gemini’s damaged comms system. One sub-routine is tweeting the coordinates of the hottest place to live right now (Venus), while the other re-tweets it. Day 4: Finds Orificer Scorp’s porn collection. Day 5. Day 6. Day 7: Runs out of Officer Taurus’… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman
September 18, 2016 5:46 am
Reply to  Alouetta

Orificer. On the whole; that’s funny.

Alouetta
Alouetta
September 18, 2016 6:18 am
Reply to  Jokerman

I’m sahry orificer – was I going too faaaaast?
🙂

Ali
Ali
September 19, 2016 2:38 am
Reply to  Jokerman

Bahaha…on the whole…

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
September 18, 2016 5:48 am
Reply to  Alouetta

WOW!!! You win the booker prize 🙂

Kel
Kel
September 18, 2016 6:55 am
Reply to  Alouetta

100% this!!!!

flashfire
flashfire
September 19, 2016 3:58 pm
Reply to  Alouetta

Brilliant!

leogroover
leogroover
September 19, 2016 7:17 pm
Reply to  Alouetta

Totes bra hahahahahah

Jokerman
Jokerman
September 18, 2016 4:23 am

Aries “I am not going unless you call unless you call me “Honcho of the Red Sector” “. Toro “I am not going unless there is German Leather on the Space Command Center and the finest Egyptian Cotton Sheets. Gem “I am not going unless all the Operating Systems are compatible with my Necktop” Kat “I am not going” Leo “I am not going unless the mission is called “Icarus Rebirthed” ” Virgo “I am not going unless goddess, Ana L Ities, comes too” Lib “I am not going unless all contributors are assessed for under “Psychometric Compatabilities” program as… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman
September 18, 2016 4:26 am
Reply to  Jokerman

I am late to lodge bcos l got done for speeding, worked on a car, got it fixed and then hit a roo. I got home 20mins ago and thought l’d drop line or two

Chrysalis
Chrysalis
September 18, 2016 7:53 am
Reply to  Jokerman

“I am not going with fuqwits” – lolol a prize for this one I reckon

dizzarina
dizzarina
September 18, 2016 4:48 am
Reply to  Jokerman

This is great. LOL at Kat

Ali
Ali
September 18, 2016 9:09 pm
Reply to  dizzarina

Yes! Kat very funny!

And Aries – “Honcho of the Red Sector”!

Nice work Powderfinger. Hope your car crap is sorted.

Ampersand
Ampersand
September 18, 2016 11:04 pm
Reply to  Ali

I love all these. 🙂

Jokerman
Jokerman
September 19, 2016 2:16 am
Reply to  Ali

Ta for da wishes on da car. Glad it is insured.

Jacqui
Jacqui
September 18, 2016 3:24 am

scene 1-galactic space ship kitchen (light flickering) chunky Taurean head eating big sandwich artistically crafted, internal dialog with self, ” wonder what’s for dessert……”

Hermeswitch
Hermeswitch
September 18, 2016 2:20 am

Funny how all the non-Leo’s are taking the piss out if Leo’s with cliched hair comments. We’d be putting the air lock into disarm and walking out with champagne asking which pussies what to come into the great unknown.

leogroover
leogroover
September 18, 2016 7:48 pm
Reply to  Hermeswitch

HILAR hell yeah! and don’t anyone about the case of Bollie you have stashed away just you rendezvous with a cute alien later

leogroover
leogroover
September 18, 2016 7:49 pm
Reply to  leogroover

soz just in case you…

Howdyhihi
Howdyhihi
September 18, 2016 1:38 am

Just looked up James T Kirk happens to be an Aries.

Calli G
Calli G
September 18, 2016 4:26 am
Reply to  Howdyhihi

I’ll buy that.

dizzarina
dizzarina
September 18, 2016 4:42 am
Reply to  Howdyhihi

My childhood crush. Of course he’s a Ram

Howdyhihi
Howdyhihi
September 18, 2016 1:28 am

Well, virgo is done, here are the rest: Aries: The one who used to be some minor officer in some form of galactic space marines. Got thrown out due to a bad attitude to authority. The one who wants to shoot their way out of things. Usually does shoot their way out of things. Deep down just likes to blow sh1t up. Has a name for their weapon. Taurus: The one who has to get dragged back on board the shuttle after every shore leave. When things go to crap, the most likely to be the one opining that “we… Read more »

Sam
Sam
September 18, 2016 2:32 am
Reply to  Howdyhihi

<3

Calli G
Calli G
September 18, 2016 4:25 am
Reply to  Howdyhihi

I have definitely seem these episodes. Nice sign mapping!

december baby
december baby
September 18, 2016 3:00 pm
Reply to  Howdyhihi

“Tendency to lose shirt in away mission” lol

leogroover
leogroover
September 18, 2016 7:46 pm
Reply to  december baby

triple lol

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
September 19, 2016 2:03 am
Reply to  december baby

LOVEEEEE

12th house virgo
12th house virgo
September 19, 2016 6:19 am
Reply to  Howdyhihi

So good!

leogroover
leogroover
September 19, 2016 7:14 pm
Reply to  Howdyhihi

you had me at adult ‘sub routines”

Lucy
Lucy
September 18, 2016 1:00 am

Leo – Course I heard the siren – someone will sort it out in a minute – really though, have you seen what zero gravity does for my hair?

Chrysalis
Chrysalis
September 18, 2016 3:52 am
Reply to  Lucy

Hilarious – I am Leo rising and there are entire continents I won’t travel to based on what the weather will do to my hair!

leslie
leslie
September 18, 2016 12:27 am

i would love to win the lifestime subscription ?
aka piscis rising who will say “guys, everything is perfect, push the button or not but everything will flow anyways” ? 🙂

Charles
Charles
September 17, 2016 6:50 pm

Taurus: North Star? Polaris? I don’t care which way is North. I don’t even care which way is Up. I only care which way is DOWN. If there is a Down, that means there’s gravity, and that means a planet I can stomp on and leave a footprint.

Catherine
Catherine
September 17, 2016 8:38 pm
Reply to  Charles

As a Taurus yes lol. Feet on ground, always

Sam
Sam
September 18, 2016 2:30 am
Reply to  Charles

“what do people even eat around here anyway”

Charles
Charles
September 19, 2016 1:18 pm
Reply to  Sam

You can go drinking with all the stars,
but there’s no atmosphere in those outer space bars.

R(Aqua/Tauri)
R(Aqua/Tauri)
September 18, 2016 12:45 pm
Reply to  Charles

lol very accurate ^_^

sphinx
sphinx
September 17, 2016 6:19 pm

Theme: Landing On a New Planet in the Goldilocks Zone Aries: “Move out, move out people! The longer we stay like sitting ducks in this craft, we lose the element of surprise.” Taurus: “Well, I have organised this automatically inflatable pop-up couch-bed, so no matter what…” Gemini: “Out in the field we can communicate with the mothercraft via this liquid crystalline …omg, this reminds me of the time Esnesrine took the liquid acid at Jaya’s party thinking it was panadolonine!” Leo: Flicks hair & agrees with Aries, “we definitely need to be out there front & centre!” Virgo: “Protocol suggest… Read more »

sphinx
sphinx
September 17, 2016 7:02 pm
Reply to  sphinx

Cancer: “Mawspups’ewe seems to like the cress leaves, I’ll whip up a delicate soufflé with that and some of that Ur-Kim goat fromage.. Don’t tell me again about that dairy intolerance Virgo, eat or don’t eat”

Aquarius: “Mawspups’ewe – have you mastered telepathy yet? Because… Argh!! Get out of my head!!”

Kel
Kel
September 17, 2016 7:38 pm
Reply to  sphinx

Lol spot on with kayaks, I’m cancer ascendant and can commonly be found trawling the top shelf of any food market in pursuit of the perfect ingredients for my latest culinary event (yes, breakfast in my house is an event)

Kel
Kel
September 17, 2016 8:27 pm
Reply to  Kel

Kayaks???! Worst autocorrect ever, it doesn’t even make sense. Kataka I meant to say.. *smh*

Jokerman
Jokerman
September 18, 2016 6:43 am
Reply to  Kel

I spose we are all in the same boat

tashblair
tashblair
September 17, 2016 5:12 pm

Hi Mystic!!! My Leo Leia Rant goes like this… ‘ Look guys are we just gonna stand here like some kind of dead stardust in a cosmic swamp while a bunch of scrap metal takes over the universe’ ‘Not on my watch!!! Don’t worry I’ll go, but I’m taking the Fire Penetrator with me’ ‘Harry make sure there is enough Space Fuel to blast me past The Desert Planets. I’ll go when the 4 suns align…they won’t suspect a thing’ ‘Oh and Harry, if I don’t come back tell Han I love him and I had to do it for… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman
September 17, 2016 3:45 pm

Alan Rickmann: “l’m goin to find a pub”

Sam
Sam
September 17, 2016 6:29 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

TRU lol

flowerchild
flowerchild
September 17, 2016 7:59 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

haha! ; – )

leogroover
leogroover
September 18, 2016 7:44 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

Love that movie!!! PF thanks for the laugh

Jokerman
Jokerman
September 18, 2016 10:18 pm
Reply to  leogroover

What about the scene where Tim Allen is hungover, groggy on the floor, in is his hilltop pad and the Aliens are tilting their heads and admiring his posterior. Cringeworthy and amusing at the same time.

flowerchild
flowerchild
September 17, 2016 3:42 pm

Ha! These are great! I’m not so clever, so I will enjoy everyone else’s brilliance and hilarity… : )

Nice comic relief for the end bit of this Merc retro in Virgo……which all of a sudden is not feeling very good, very wiggy energy, frustrating and unsettling…difficult to relax…

Ali
Ali
September 17, 2016 6:42 pm
Reply to  flowerchild

Oh, I can relate to your comment flowerchild! X

AquaFish
AquaFish
September 17, 2016 3:41 pm

Aries – What do you mean ‘Be careful’ ! I’m going in wimps! Sagit – Me too dudes. Lets do this thing! Leo – Is anyone filming this? Libra – Can I date all three of you at once when we get back to Earth?Oh, I am married but. Aquarius – This looks very familiar… Gem – I’m bored! Cancer – I wanna go home. Scorpio – I wanna get laid. Pisces – wonder if i will have better love luck with an alien? Capricorn – I wanna be your leader. I am an Earthling with great cheekbones. taurus- i… Read more »

Chrysalis
Chrysalis
September 17, 2016 7:03 pm
Reply to  AquaFish

“I wonder if I’ll have better love luck with an alien?” Baaahaaaahaaaa totally nailed it for Pisces! (Multi-Pisces here and this seems totally plausible to me)

kriblack
kriblack
September 17, 2016 9:38 pm
Reply to  Chrysalis

Also Multi-Pisces and I personally have been waiting for my Alien Prince to fall to Earth a la David Bowie for my whole life. Of course Pisces would have better love luck with aliens!

Chrysalis
Chrysalis
September 17, 2016 9:54 pm
Reply to  kriblack

After my latest disaster with an earthling I think I’m going to have to start looking off-planet lol

Peregrine
Peregrine
September 17, 2016 9:42 am

Oh no no Mystic…I am Pisces with Virgo Rising, so my internal dialogue goes like..
‘Hey what happens if I push this button?’
‘No no! Why did you push that button? don’t you know how BAD that is? Why do you always do that??’
‘Oh FFS, stop being so ANAL, I’ll push the fricking button if I feel like it!’
‘But what about the repercussions eh? You are so juvenile, you just don’t think before you act!’
‘Puleeeze! You sound like my Mother…’

kriblack
kriblack
September 17, 2016 9:33 pm
Reply to  Peregrine

Yes!!!! This is my internal monologue every day. Fellow Pisces with Virgo Rising.

quintile
quintile
September 17, 2016 11:57 pm
Reply to  kriblack

ditto – virgo with pisces rising!!

Chrysalis
Chrysalis
September 18, 2016 1:28 am
Reply to  quintile

Hey q, how are you? How’s Neptune on your asc/moon been? x

Cris
Cris
September 17, 2016 9:31 am

I always thought Alien was one of the best sci fi. The characters are so good. So it was interesting to go hunting for their birth dates. Ripley – born January 7, 2092 ( on the Moon — so what star sign will that be ) Ash – a synthetic humanoid no known birthday, but probably an Aquarius Dallas – ship’s captain, born February 27, 2075 Parker – chief engineer, born February 4, 2080 Lambert – navigator, born November 7, 2093 male, surgically reassigned female immediately. Brett – engineering technician, July 13, 2069 This scene is straight out of the… Read more »

Cris
Cris
September 17, 2016 9:33 am
Reply to  Cris

And Kane’s birthday – April 20, 2083

FireTryin'
FireTryin'
September 17, 2016 4:20 pm
Reply to  Cris

I totally thought of Aliens for this post and Ripley was absolutely a Capricorn to me. Neat that the character is a Cap.

FireTryin'
FireTryin'
September 18, 2016 6:06 am
Reply to  Mystic

Oh, that’s probaby why it came to me so fast. Just sitting around in my brain from your post back in April. Ha!

Cris
Cris
September 19, 2016 1:47 am
Reply to  Mystic

“””Her Moon in Sagittarius is square Uranus – classical astrology textbooks have this down as “unconventional mothering” and well, Ripley had an extremely crap run in that regard with the impregnation by hostile alien probably the shittiest Moon-Uranus manifestation on record.”””

This part is cool. Definitely the mother theme in the whole series centres on her. And her clipped dialogue and ‘action becomes her’ attitude I always really liked. Cool to find out she is a Capricorn. Sort of makes sense to me.

Corrina
Corrina
September 18, 2016 6:24 am
Reply to  Cris

Ahahaha classic. Although she’s got some fire cracker of a moon/mars to be smacking around not only “big interstellar corporation” and nasty, bitey aliens.

Interestingly Sigourney Weaver is a Libra.

Cris
Cris
September 19, 2016 1:47 am
Reply to  Corrina

That is interesting. I always thought Ripley was sort of Libra type as well.

luckyshell
luckyshell
September 17, 2016 7:56 am

Crew of Zodiac 12 approaches a mystery planet. Virgo “That planet exhibits signs of high level radiation, unstable disintegrating surface structure, a potentially hostile alien signal, and if we do this we could miss the return rendezvous by as much as 5.03 minutes!” Aquarius “Are you kidding? Can’t you see the possibilities down there? We could find ANYTHING!” Pisces “Well I’m probably going.” Capt Aries “We’re going. And we’re going Now.” Taurus “We’ve just invested so much in this voyage, this planet, to turn back now… Is that really what you’re suggesting?” Gemini (mysteriously disappeared) Cancer “Virgo does have a… Read more »

Maxene Schreck
Maxene Schreck
September 17, 2016 8:31 am
Reply to  luckyshell

heh heh,

Maxene Schreck
Maxene Schreck
September 17, 2016 8:31 am
Reply to  luckyshell

Awesome

Unicorn Sparkles
Unicorn Sparkles
September 17, 2016 6:17 pm
Reply to  luckyshell

Gemini LOL

Sam
Sam
September 17, 2016 6:27 pm

I’m concerned about how much I am relating to the Gemini ones here so far haha

Alouetta
Alouetta
September 17, 2016 6:19 pm
Reply to  luckyshell

Ha!

echo
echo
September 17, 2016 7:45 pm
Reply to  luckyshell

Being a virgo, you have virgo so so spot on! But wouldn’t the cancerian “want to go HOME! waaaaaaa!”?

Calli G
Calli G
September 17, 2016 7:45 pm
Reply to  luckyshell

LOL. Especially “Planet Dethfoshor”.

december baby
december baby
September 18, 2016 2:14 pm
Reply to  luckyshell

“erotic humanoid terror” LOL

leogroover
leogroover
September 19, 2016 7:08 pm
Reply to  luckyshell

love the ending

Sam
Sam
September 17, 2016 6:55 am

I have nothing yet except the concrete memory of Every Single One of my virgo friends whose faces have all borne the expression of either utter bewilderment at the abject stupidity of humanity who will not make decisions based on a Very Comprehensive But Clear Setting-Out Of The Matters Urgently At Hand Plus Recommendations For Action That Will Not Result In Death Or At Least Not Missing The Bus, and also great relief when other person says, “yes that is the right thing to do let us proceed that way.” etc

Kel
Kel
September 17, 2016 4:00 pm
Reply to  Sam

My Virgo moon could not agree more!

FireTryin'
FireTryin'
September 17, 2016 4:17 pm
Reply to  Sam

Yes! That expression is real. The struggle is real. My 5 planet Virgo stellium agrees.

Calli G
Calli G
September 17, 2016 7:42 pm
Reply to  Sam

Yeah, the Virgo’s ongoing efforts to bring sense to their environment is downright Sisyphean. (I’m so glad autocorrect came through on that last word.)

Scorpio_Rising
Scorpio_Rising
September 18, 2016 9:06 am
Reply to  Calli G

yes, I refer to Sisyphean’s task daily. 😉

kriblack
kriblack
September 17, 2016 9:26 pm
Reply to  Sam

I wonder what expression is on my face when my Virgo Ascendant spends hours concocting Very Comprehensive But Clear Plans that my 4 planet stellium in Pisces promptly shrugs off to procrastinate and binge Netflix and later scrambles around doing things at the last minute.

The problem lies in the fact that my Virgo Rising gets off on planning down to the tiniest detail but my Pisces Sun, Moon, Mercury etc. couldn’t be arsed to put in the effort it would take to put the plan in motion.

quintile
quintile
September 17, 2016 11:54 pm
Reply to  kriblack

i hear you kriblack – same sort of struggle at my place, but my virgo stellium (4 planets) is no match for my pisces moon and rising… still she tries 😉

jessica
jessica
September 20, 2016 6:37 am
Reply to  Sam

Oh Pi. You have seen my face make those contortions. So much WHYYYYYYYYY…?! Hahaha. Sensible Entertainment Virgo in me says–because if there were no Librans/Saggitarians/Scorpis/Leos etc. to UTTERLY F* EVERYTHING UP FOR NO GOOD REASON, then there *would* be no film. There would be no space-adventure, no space-climax, nothing to space-save or fix, and we all know how much a Virgo likes a fixxer-upperer. Space films aren’t meant for Virgos to enjoy. They are there to make us squirm and occasionally yell at the television. They are there for us to “I told you so”. Over and over and over.… Read more »

Sam
Sam
September 20, 2016 7:18 am
Reply to  jessica

oh hi there 😉
I appreciate the global astro perspective …a place for everything and … everything in its… oh dear look where we ended up haha

p.s.

Everyone knows HAL didn’t want to let Dave back in through the pod bay doors because his boots were covered in meteorite dust.
xx

Kel
Kel
September 17, 2016 6:32 am

Aries has to stomp that first boot on Mars even if it upsets the locals, so whatever you do don’t tell them Scorpio astral-traveled there years ago, just a pee break on the way to Andromeda. Cancer baked space cakes in the shape of crescent moons and Taurus accidentally ate the lot during an afternoon binge of Netflix and chill in the shuttle lounge. Leo is loving the effects of zero gravity on their fringe and snaps a hundred sexy space selfies from the same angle. Virgo is left to crunch the numbers on the mainframe after Gemini spent the… Read more »

Kel
Kel
September 17, 2016 6:38 am
Reply to  Kel

Pisces didn’t show up for blast off due to a particularly engaging dream they just couldn’t bring themselves to peel out of

Sam
Sam
September 17, 2016 6:49 am
Reply to  Kel

“destination nargleblaster” omg <3

FireTryin'
FireTryin'
September 17, 2016 4:15 pm
Reply to  Kel

You win! (In my book…) I particularly liked the Gemini description. (I’m not Gemini but have an odd combo of Virgo and Sag that makes me Gem-ish and I would totally be trying to hack into FB with tools meant for better things.)

EarthAngel
EarthAngel
September 17, 2016 6:44 pm
Reply to  Kel

LOL

Calli G
Calli G
September 17, 2016 7:39 pm
Reply to  Kel

Nice job working all the signs in so well!

leogroover
leogroover
September 19, 2016 7:06 pm
Reply to  Kel

Fab

Anchors Away
Anchors Away
September 17, 2016 6:14 am

Me : So this guy I work with, he started picking me up by chance between the bus stop and work. Me on foot, him in forest green Hyundai. In the 2 minute drive to the office we hit it off immediately. He’s a really nice guy. Virgo : Ok Cool Me : So he seems to finish work at the same time as me so he offered me a ride to the bus stop each day. Which is really helpful. Virgo: That’s lucky Me : So now he’s started dropping me at bus stops further along because he likes… Read more »

Catherine
Catherine
September 17, 2016 6:06 am

Aries let me don my ultra space suit and just SET FIRE to this space ship! Taurus, (coughs) But we are on it, and so is our food, wine, and beds Gemini Its ok we could invent a different way of getting nutrients just a minute, its in a book somewhere -O wow i forgot I had this other books its… Virgo Shut up and put those books down they might have germs on them.Lets.. Leo Right you obviously need a leader round here, someone to really take charge! Do you think this space suit is ruining my hair? Libra… Read more »

Catherine
Catherine
September 17, 2016 6:08 am
Reply to  Catherine

Cancer was having a nap and wakes up…I just had the weirdest dream..hey where are you guys?

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux
September 17, 2016 7:44 am
Reply to  Catherine

lol

Gemricorn
Gemricorn
September 18, 2016 6:58 am
Reply to  Catherine

hahaha amazing

Redlipstick Virgo
Redlipstick Virgo
September 17, 2016 5:54 am

Leo: let’s fly into the sun – wtf – I am the sun! Just look at how hot, shiny and beautiful I am.

Aqua: what do you mean fly to the sun are we in space – I am space babe this is just the augmented reality of my mind.

Taurus: nobody is going anywhere I have the controls of this ship

Virgo: can you three fuqing clean up from lunch already.

Calli G
Calli G
September 17, 2016 5:53 am

Libra: The aliens come bearing disease cures, revolutionary food creation methods, and an end to war. And they’re super cute! Yay aliens! Capricorn: This is the best day ever! Or it will be as soon as I figure out how to monetize it. [to Alien Ambassador] Can we talk distribution? Alien Ambassador: Let’s discuss this in my office. Exit Capricorn and Alien Ambassador. A wet crunching noise emminates from off-stage, followed by a wasp-like buzzing. Scorpio: It’s like no one ever heard the phrase “too good to be true”. Something that looks like a slightly smaller entity in an ill-fitting… Read more »

Sam
Sam
September 17, 2016 6:45 am
Reply to  Calli G

LOL!!!!!!

Alouetta
Alouetta
September 17, 2016 6:16 pm
Reply to  Calli G

Yes.

Chrysalis
Chrysalis
September 17, 2016 6:59 pm
Reply to  Calli G

Ooh setting an early high standard! This is fab xx

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
September 17, 2016 7:22 pm
Reply to  Calli G

i’m DYING you win.

Calli G
Calli G
September 17, 2016 7:37 pm
Reply to  Calli G

Thanks, y’all!

Cat
Cat
September 17, 2016 8:53 pm
Reply to  Calli G

Good One!

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