Ask Mystic – Is Lilith “The Mistress?”

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Mario Sorrenti

Hey Mystic,

Quick question re Lilith – have been searching your site (and the internet at large) but can’t find an answer to this: I know a man tends to have an affair with his Lilith (presumably the sun sign of the mistress?) but what if a couple both have the same Lilith? Mine is Leo 8th house 23 degrees, his is Leo 7th 14 degrees.

Does that mean we are both going to cheat with the same person?

Rest of the chart is ridiculously promising. So hoping not.

The internet just doesn’t seem to offer up help on this subject.

Pip x

Hey Pip,

Interesting question. I am not sure that Lilith represents the “mistress” archetype as such.  Although in terms of the hokey old Madonna-Whore complex, she is definitely at the “whore” end of the spectrum. But hasn’t that split been the cause of all manner of cruelty, crap, disenfranchisement in society and dud roots*?

Lilith as archetype is the rebel, the first wife of Adam who stalked out of the Garden of Eden and came back as the Snake. She is not exactly top contender for someone who is going to play any role in a bourgeois marriage; wifie or the chick hanging around on the side to keep the whole charade going.

“Lilith embodies the presence of an archaic form of feminine strength that ignores any patriarchal discourse of power and dominance and allies itself with those forces that affirm life itself.”

There is a weird argument that Juno indicates “the mistress” and still others that, if you like females,  your Moon is what you want for intimate emotional connection, Venus is what you fancy and so on. I think if you both have Lilith in the same sign and so close together, you’d support a certain rebel outsider vibe in another.  This person would particularly be able to give space to your wilder dimensions.

“Cheat” with one another. Also, if you really want to go on a chart comparison (synastry) bender with this person, look for the super-strong, close-orb links. Sun-Moon intra-aspects, Mars-Venus, Mercury for communication…There are a whole heap of lessons/hacks re this in the Astro Hacks course, if you are interested.

To be shallow about this, if you DO both cheat with the same epic Lilith in Leo type person, she will probably have great hair, excellent taste in music/film and block you both with one stab of her gold dust manicured nails after the deed.

What does everyone else think?

* Root is crass Australian slang for sex. So a dud root means a poor copulation experience.

Image: Mario Sorrenti

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Scorpio_Rising
Scorpio_Rising

Three times during this Pluto Retrograde I’ve been falsely accused of trying to steal another’s man. I have absolutely zero interest in the three men.
What transit could be causing this? Mind you I did not flirt with any of these men to incite jealousy. Two are good friends, that is all, one is acquaintance, I barely know but jammed with.
I find this all bizzare. Dealing with other’s projections sucks. 🙁

Jokerman
Jokerman

How were you going to get past the check-out.

Scorpio_Rising
Scorpio_Rising

lol! no idea!
Not shopping for a ma, nor interested in shoplifting one either!

Ampersand
Ampersand

Unexpected items in the bagging area!

Scorpio_Rising
Scorpio_Rising

you two cracked me up. I needed that! 😉

Scorp
Scorp

Lilith conjunct my Cap Asc.

Great. No wonder guys are too scared to approach. I probs come across too self sufficient and don’t need a man.
Well, it’s true but I would like one.

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

I have Lilith in Cap too, exact conj my moon. It’s interesting to say the least. There is a constant pull between wanting to be alone and wanting to be with someone. Lilith won’t compromise.

Scorp
Scorp

At least you’ve been married. I know it’s not the everything but I would have liked to have tried it. Venus in libra likes to be partnered.
But nobody has ever asked. Never been engaged either. Longest relationship 18mths.
I get the “fantasy girl” thing a lot. Only good for a short time not a long time it seems.
Venus squares Asc. So maybe that has something to do with it. Empty 7th house. Oh well. Maybe not for me on this life. Lucky I don’t mind my own company.

skarab
skarab

I’ve just been on an Eartha Kitt binge & have just seen this 2 min interview with her on *Compromise & relationships*. Her Lilith is in Virgo, not Cap – but still – her reaction to the question is priceless.

Porkchop
Porkchop

My Lilith is in my 5th, exactly conjunct my Pluto in Libra, which is square my Venus in Cap in the 8th. Maybe why I have turned into a bit of a manhater after a terrible breakup that left me feeling very hurt and betrayed? Happy to live with my cats and Netflix. Don’t need no man. Lol.

Lili
Lili

My Lilith is bang on husband’s Asc- opposite my Mercury. Definitely contentious.

Ampersand
Ampersand

Tracky dacks, root, chew your arm off. Hehehe, I love Australians. I need more slang! I bunked off school a fair bit in the 90’s to watch Neighbours. I did my family history which is really easy as I had a bonkers surname, only to find that most of them were criminals shipped off to Australia, the raw prawns. Off down Yabbie Creek in my ute. Have been reading how Lilith is about suicide. Conjunct north node this is a bit nuts, although I have thought that if I was old and decrepit I would bump myself off with opium… Read more »

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

the suicide connection is interesting, Ive had problems with suicidal ideation for as long as I can remember and with Lilith affecting my Moon (emotions) that would make some sort of sense

Jokerman
Jokerman

You make me feel bad to be Aussie. Neighbours is such an embarassment. I’d rather watch Skippy and that is hokey its not funny.

My Lilith in the 5th but Sagg; that part of me freaks me.

Ampersand
Ampersand

Don’t take it bad love, I am known for watching shit tv from all nations X

I love Skippy. Lol

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

I think its asteroid hylonome, related to suicide…

She is on my MC.

It can be that one is united for a cause, or right, rather than taking the action.

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

Here’s another one to add to your collection: if you bunked off school, we say you ‘wagged it’.

Jokerman
Jokerman

I used to drive kombis n trucks at a distributors once. I had to get ‘smoko’ for everybody and this one guy always ordered a “diddle die with dead horse and a festered fart”

Translation: “a meat pie with sauce & a custard tart”

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

I think someone should have a go at explaining the Chiko roll (the real one, not the Roy & HG gymnastics move) to our non-Aussie friends

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

impossible! lol what was in those things?

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

Best hangover cure of all time! Some chemical substance that neutralised the effect of Brandivino back in the day lol

Jokerman
Jokerman

I ‘painted’ a couple of ‘Pollocks’ drinkn that stuff. My ‘blue period’ was usually on tequila (a mockingbird)

Jokerman
Jokerman

The ABC explained which town inented it. Wagga Wagga, Bendigo or Bathurst? It was Bendigo (once bigger than Perth or Brisbane).

It is a deep fried leather-like pasta substance rolled with a filling of shredded carrot, cabbage and onion; allegedly. A hint of platypus as well.

Chrysalis
Chrysalis
Ampersand
Ampersand

Chicko Rolls are something I could get behind. Mmm platypus.

I loved bogan.com but it is now defunct. Love a bit of flanno.

Ampersand
Ampersand

I’m not down on bogans by the way. I am almost pure-bred bogan myself but over here we call them chavs. My Dad always kept a car on bricks, it was essential. At one time we shared the kitchen with a motorbike, and some bits of other motorbikes. Ahh. Bless.

Jokerman
Jokerman

Hah, l have rebuilt 2 bikes in the kitchen. One had no fridge. I bought small milks and butters daily.

Ampersand
Ampersand

Small milks and butters, pmsl

Jokerman
Jokerman

B4 l was married, of course

majjik
majjik

Yes indeed..my first husband died thru suicide..learning about astrology and then Lilith helped me find the strength to cope.Transiting Saturn was in Leo approaching my H2 22dgs prog Sun/Venus/Lilith conj..lost love..prog Mars at 21dgs Leo has my full attention ryt nw.Just checked my chart and my prog Moon is at 22dgs Aries as Im writing this (trines my Venus/Lilith)H2 Lilith is also extreme dieting and binge eating disorders..I am th classic yoyo dieting fanatic.Am having elective surgery to fix my yoyo symptoms once and for all.Waiting for prog Moon to shift into Taurus in April nxt year.Tr Uranus conj my… Read more »

Debbi
Debbi

Me and my partner and both my daughters have Lilith on south node. It seems too regular to be random, but I cannot understand the significance.

majjik
majjik

In 2009 my prog Sun in Leo was applying to my natal H2 Venus/Lilith conj in Leo (sqs my H11 Taurus Saturn opp H5 Scorpi Nep 28dgs).I was approached to have an affair by a Leo Sun (I was single..he wasn’t).His Lilith is conjunct mine (generational..we were born 19 days apart) & I accepted.We both justified our behaviour by “sharing the love” & “sharing is caring” & “Im not married so its not technically an affair” & “nobody owns me..I don’t belong to anyone” comments.Very Aquarian rebelliousness.His Leo Lilith is also opposite her (his partner)Venus in Aquarius.In a strange twist… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman

What does it mean if you have 1181 Lilith 2° Cj your Prometheus is Sagg / 5th?. And Prometheus is v v close to my Asc. It is characterized as a Chiron / Uran type. Crazy Doctor? Nutty Professor? ….who likes to turn shit upside down?

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

Lilith in Libra bang on my Moon, both conj Uranus, all of them sq Venus in Cap….. I desperately want to be conventional – my Cappy Venus is a total snob /social climber – but the combo of Lilith/Moon/Uranus seems to give an outsider vibe that continuously sees me being cast in the role of the “other woman” – even when it’s non-sexual. I can’t count the number of guys, even “friends”, I’ve had over the years blatantly eyeing me off behind the Mrs’s back even tho I am typically sans makeup, hair scraped back off face and rocking tracky… Read more »

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

(and solvent)

libra takeover
libra takeover

I have lilith conjunct my sun in libra and I always have wild hair – how spot on.

Are you saying the basic synastry aspects (sun-moon conjunction, venus-pluto etc) are more responsible for the likelihood for an affair between two people then a lilith conjunction?

Natters
Natters

I think I had read somewhere that Lilith is associated with misacrriages. Does anyone have any thoughts on that? I have Lilith in the 5th house, Pisces.

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

My Lilith’s in 12th Aqua. But in my Kataka 5th, I have retro Saturn. One miscarriage.

Natters
Natters

The only thing I appear to have in my 5th is Lilith.

Two miscarriages, one child.

Ampersand
Ampersand

Lilith in 5th, Capricorn. Conjunct north node. No miscarriages and no children. Have never tried to conceive either, though have done some risky unprotected stuff in the very distant past (slaps self). I have always felt that I was somehow not meant to conceive. This was fine and my decision, and I have always felt like I was protected from this happening somehow, that my life was far too messy to have a baby and raise it successfully. A good thing.

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

Miscarriage – & termination; unfortunate but had to be, yet one healthy child after a great deal of trying…near death with pregnancy, emergency ces.

saturn aries 8th cusp (6 degrees) wide square cancer moon…

Lillith 8th house…taurus; but in grand trine to venus, pluto

venus ruled by saturn

moon in 10th house…

Jan
Jan

Not a miscarriage but I had a termination when Saturn conjoined my Lilith/Mars. In Kataka: Lilith first house, Mars second.

Lili
Lili

In Old Hebrew tradition she ruled miscarriages and circumcision- scythe symbol.

Jokerman
Jokerman

I’d never trust Lilith with my willy.

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

It sounds like demonisation to me. “Evil spirit woman that steals your babies”—sounds like a good way to demonise an independent female sexual figure.

She might rule things like abortions though–i.e. a woman’s right to choose, as well as anything liberated and unconventional in terms of parenting, relatioships and sex.

Jokerman
Jokerman

Here l was thinkn you were a shrinkn violet…..

Pi
Pi

I’m basically a cosmic jellyfish with a backbone that runs from Pluto to Eris.

Jokerman
Jokerman

An invetebrate with a vetebra?
How Piscean!!!

Pi
Pi

you should see the x-rays..

Jokerman
Jokerman

Is it like a sting-rays?

skarab
skarab

You are on FIRE, Pf.
Something zapping Uranus?

Pi
Pi

I wonder if lilith is about ditching conventional morals where these exist for the sake of one person / cohort but disadvantage (?) another. In my case it’s an 11th house Taurus. So I go ballistic when ‘society’ tries to impose constraints on female behaviour in public (or in private for that matter) for example by citing stupid gendered terms like “modesty” “slut” “asking for it” “nice” etc. Feminist theory and the Body, etc. I will literally fight anyone (using words of course) who tries that shit on. And I have Eris conjunct my Aries MC at the midpoint of… Read more »

Pi
Pi

Unjustified power-mongering or false-status-wielding basically.

Pi
Pi

Omg. 9tj house Sun mercury at midpoint of Gemini-Sadge axis. “Sure, we can talk about this”
I really need to be a barrister lol. Better money too haha.

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

i always see the lilith sign as the kind of “rebel bad girl” the person is drawn to….as well as their own inner “rebel bad girl”—that may be waiting to emerge.

I reckon if you have the same lilith sign then you rebel in similar ways. It doesn’t sound like a bad thing.

lisa guest
lisa guest

I definitely better check out my Lilith more carefully. Thanks all, with lots of pash for your clarity and articulate natures.

faithfaustus
faithfaustus

I too read somewhere that Lilith is associated with “the other woman” and that there are certain houses in which she is doomed. The worst being in the 4th. I have Lilith in 4th, Scorpio, square Mars and conjunct Pluto, and also have a heavy 8th house. I have been the other woman before and admittedly find myself in a constant battle as I have trouble finding cheating morally wrong.. I really don’t want this to be something I ‘do’ though …

Deb
Deb

ha ha ha! Love the explanation of that classic bit of Australian vernacular. A disappointing evening followed by one of those mornings when you have to “chew your arm off”!!!

The Venus Fly
The Venus Fly

Off topic, in my opinion the greatest Australian slang word in existence is “pash”. I can def fucks with pash.

Calli G
Calli G

It seems to me, in my not so expert opinion, that sharing a Lilith could suggest excellent threesome potential. Or it could be that I just read too much fanfic.

MissDee
MissDee

I am impressed with the meaning of Lilith. When transiting Lilith connected with my birthchart Lilith (11 degrees Scorpio) I decided to leave the classical “he should come pursuing you/you shouldn’t d the first step” and write down my feelings for the sake of making them lively and known to him or the universe. Don’t know what will come out of it. There’s no power play going for me, just feeling alive. As for the Lilith in Leo couple instead of going for the mistress – hence the “we would cheat with the same person” I would consider it another… Read more »

Hermeswitch
Hermeswitch

Oh god. They’re trying to cheat with me.

Mystic Medusa
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