Dark Moon – Void Mars

Filed in New Moons

Harry Langdon

NOT on the Dark Moon you don’t.  Decadence, pushing down feelings, anything that feels like a backwards move, naff food groups (yes it is a food group) don’t play too well on the Dark Moon. Especially not when Mars is also Void. You can’t even throw a temper tantrum.

But it will all be worth it when the New Moon in Leo Vibe roars in (see Daily Horoscopes for the exact times in L.A., New York, London, Dubai, Hong Kong and Sydney) and you feel the energy of Solar + Lunar Leo in conjunction.   So i am dealing with the shittiest internet service provider situation so – apart from the Horoscopes, obviously –  I will return full-scale with the New Moon.

Meanwhile, think on thee – the New Moon is on asteroid Psyche and in Leo so in what ways could heightened self awareness now benefit you big-time. Psyche-Sun-Moon is super-rad for informed self-actualizing and not being guilted others into eroding your (healthy) ego boundaries.  Also, if Mars through Scorpio was a trip and a psychic treasure hunt, where do you see yourself now, as Mars heads back into Sagittarius? It is totally going to be some place more open.

Casey Weldon

Images: Harry Langdon and Casey Weldon

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85 thoughts on “Dark Moon – Void Mars

  1. This painting sums it up really: violent insomnia, but reminds one of
    Kristen with Juliette in Maria their last feature, French and Americans are awesome together, and so beautiful – and Ralph et Tlda’s last film – in deep in amongst the mountains?

  2. I’m so glad this is coming to an end. Glad for the psyche being laid bare (and the heart alongside it) but I’m exhausted. And that’s after being exhausted since late April.

    The Libran lover stepped back into my life last Tuesday, and after a long autopsy of everything that went wrong, we agreed to spend time together as friends (I have nothing more in me to give). In the last I could never get him to agree to where we stood. Have seen him since then and there’s some definite finessing required (we need to learn how to do with the chemistry) but he’s showing himself to be all the things I asked May’s Taurus new moon for him to be. It’s still early days though.

    I’ve been arguing with my Das over the same issues we were in November only this time my health has collapsed along with my mental state. Why do I need to tell him how to help. Would it not be obvious after the last three and a half years of chronic depression, chronic anxiety from my son that help simply would come in him offering to come and give us a break. He’s never had my son for school holidays but regularly has my sister’s and has done since they were little. Sigh! I told him I don’t have the personal resources to continue the discussion.

    School, anxiety, child etc are wearing down what little is left. He is totally resistant and I am left hoping for my break in the anxiety and his stubborn. My acupuncturist is sick and so the emergency session I had organised for the boy was cancelled. I’m on the cusp of giving in to despair even after doing a soul release last night.

    I’ve had enough. Bring in the new moon and Mars in Sagg. There’s not enough left of me to cope with any more Mars in Scorp.

    • That sounds rough babe! It hurts so much when grandparents seem to make more effort for one grandchild than another.. I hope you can sort it out. What amazes me is how people don’t see their actions in so many highly emo obvious situations with clarity.

  3. Sending a major good writing vibe your way! (And it may count double due to my Gem rising and Sun). I’m awake when I want to be asleep not doing anything as productive as writing an essay or sorting out an accountant. Think the retro Uranus vibe may be to blame or maybe it’s just the waiting for the new Moon and the void Mars. Looking forward to a fresh vibe in the am.

  4. Hey just realised the new moon is conjunct my self-limiting saturn in Leo. I’m pulling an allnighter here to write an essay draft for my highly strung uranian supervisor, so by the time the pre-dawn astro party hits, I’ll be in a haze of Red Bull and fatigue and hopefully a few thousand words down.. any academia writing vibes sent this way greatly appreciated … lol. (not joking though. happy to return the favour anytime 😉 )
    happy new moon, humans X

  5. Mars is transiting my 6th and I have been a bit edgy or bouncy.. injecting daily life with lots of energy and 2-5 yer plan for all & sundry. Spreadsheeting parents finances and family assets and with Jupiter in my 3rd very vocal.
    Frustrated by the glacial pace of turning ideas into reality. Spirit friends have NO concept of human time frames.

    • Ha
      That’s true!
      I’ve been edgy and spread-sheety too!
      Went a bit overboard in fact. Just called my accountant up to chat about what was bugging me and basically it was a misunderstanding. When I asked him if the payment was for two years, he thought I meant, was it for 2014- 2015 and not for two separate tax returns. He said that £900 has always been his fee for doing a tax return. I was like, really?
      He laughs – yep
      I ain’t got that kind of money dude. I can’t even afford food right now.
      He goes, it’s cool, pay me when you can, I know you will.
      Better yet, when I finally get that £900 back from HMRC, I’ll just keep it and you can chill out, ok?
      I’m like yeah, okay
      He says, I’m so glad you called me to talk about this.
      I’m like, dude, I wish I’d done it yesterday morning. I’ve been stewing over it for two days! He laughed, you should have called me!
      So lets meet up soon. what are you doing for dinner tonight, since you got no food, lemmie buy you some?
      I’m like oh you know, this is a crazy week and there’s so much on but wait..Do you like James Booker?
      He goes, that Jazz pianist from New Orleans?
      me YEAH!
      There’s a one off showing of a movie about him called Bayou Maharaja at Genesis out in east London toninght. I’m going on my own. If you wanna join me?
      He just emailed that he’s bought his ticket and he’ll see me at 7

      • Hahaha
        He just called to ask if he can pick me up rather than meeting me there cuz he’s driving and it’s kinda far.
        That’s so nice 🙂
        I’m laughing…

          • No words
            At least none I can articulate right now
            I have written reams about it.
            All I will say now (and thank you so much for asking because you in particular will just totally GET THIS.
            So where he was in Jan was back in Uganda which is where the Dogon ancestry has migrated to and lives in secret, still on the Nile but Egypt(the country) as in the Egyptology I was obsessed with as a Hieroglyphics writing four year old is a shell, a relic and the tribe -I don’t know what to say- it’s hard right now, so much to process.

            The James Booker screening was cancelled, we drove somewhere quiet to eat and talk. He let me talk a lot and listened with eyes that kind of glowed with a weird wetness and then told me that in his tribe Autism is a gift. Not as in “gifted” as in Like nobility or maybe what we’d call a Shaman or a prophet, I don’t know how to explain it because it all feels like so much to take on board.
            He told me the reason I refused to learn long division and fractions and was thrown out of math class age 9 is because I was right. The numeric system we use is so oversimplified and stupidly complicated that it isn’t – I don’t know, it’s like the fact that we have 24 letters in the English alphabet but that is a fraction of the characters in the Hieroglyphic I’d say system rather than alphabet. There is nuance which has been not just lost but perverted. Even words like gifted, special and this idea that the Dogon people came from outer space. He said it’s insulting to humanity to assume intelligence is alien. I said, yes, we aspire to mediocrity now. He said, yes, Aspire has become anssociated with the “disorder” called Aspergers “syndrome”
            He said to me, had you been born into my tribe, your abilities and talents would have been recognised and nurtured, your gifts developed because humanity needs to evolve and the only way we can possibly do this is together. So he doesn’t drink and at 9pm while he was driving me home the skype call he’d been saying he had to take came through. So I knew it wasn’t bullshit. It’s this group that finds each other and gets initiated together through oral tradition. It’s a long process. How long? I asked. As long as it takes, he said. The whole group has to get there together, as a unit, like a family. We either all make it through or none of us do. That’s why we talk every night. There is no competition, that is an insane idea, to compete. The intelligent way is compassion, cooperation, collaboration. He said, you aren’t numerically retarded, you just know that the system of numbers we use is bogus. He said that the there is no zero digit. But the knowledge is sacred, secret and protected. It might take a lifetime to find out one’s true name, as opposed to one’s given name. First you have to know that your “name is not your name, your family is not your family, your home is not your home. Yes, it part of you but not all of you. Your family is the group you find when you commit to this initiation process. How do you find out your real name? I asked. Well, first, um, first you have to stop running from it and from yourself and what you know versus what you think you know. School teaches you nothing. It doesn’t teach you about life. It doesn’t teach you about the stars.
            The stars?
            A long silence.
            I miss the stars in Africa I say, almost crying. Do you ever feel like there are certain stars that call you, that speak to you, or guide you.
            He looks at me.
            Long silence, then he sighs and says

            The dog star? I ask?
            His eyes water again and he just smiles so broadly.
            I said there are stars which I’ve felt connected to since I can remember and he’s just smiling and nodding.
            We were out of time.
            I was home and he had to take the call.
            He also came over when he was 14
            His sisters sent him here to get an education
            His eyes kind of watered when he said that.
            He’s growing dreads since I last saw him.
            It was good
            He wants to introduce me to the priest if I want. He said, you can ask them anything. You are so bright, so powerful. I’ve always seen this light in you. We spoke about gender and racial and LGBT inequality too and the double standards in society. I said, You know everything about me, you’ve seen my bank statements and there’s nothing more intimate than that, is there?
            He laughed.
            I said, the funny thing is, I’m kind of a prude, I mean, I’m not but I’m, I don’t know. I feel like part of why I’ve done most of what I’ve done when I was self employed is because, lets face it, I’m unemployable but also it feels political. Like these double standards. The low self esteem of women and people of colour. I mean It’s socio economic, the inability to stand up for ourselves. Do you think the reason the LGBT movement has come so much farther than feminism or racial equality is because there are simply more white males in the LGBT movement? Does it feel socio economic to you or as if there is some heavy issue of unworthiness we as women and people of colour impose on ourselves? – I felt like I was talking shit then and wished I’d just said nothing.
            He looks at me and says MONEY
            Money is political and politics is about money
            socio economic and self esteem is one way to say it but the way I see it is
            it’s political, money is political.
            I had to get out of the car, his phone was ringing and cars behind us were hooting but there was so much we said and so much we didn’t say.
            I feel peaceful
            what a lovely person
            just wow

            The priests figure out

            • At the moment he dropped me off, I checked my watch. New moon in Leo, to the minute.
              Also I met him on the day of my Venus return a few years ago and at this exact moment I’m having a Venus return and my progressed moon is on my Venus 7 degrees Leo in the 8th
              He calls me Lioness
              I haven’t mentioned Sekhmet is on my midheavent, conjunct Anubis and the Sphinx. Or that she asked to enter me in a dream once and stands over me, protects me and is my main, I don’t know. She’s my Goddess, my guide.
              He called me Lioness though when I mentioned that I was a carnivore despite hardly ever eating meat anymore, by nature I could kill. For food, if my people were hungry, or I was hungry, he’d be dinner.
              He laughed because he seldom eats meat and said, Lioness.
              Then when I got out of the car, he said, goodnight Lioness, I’ll see you soon.
              I wonder if Jupiter is on my Midheaven right now?
              Would kind make sense no?

            • the priests figure out your name and your destiny based on your star. I meant to delete that line

    • “Spirit friends …” YES, They have far too many options ! 😉
      As I mentioned the other day your current venture will take time but you are on the right track. The problem of course is this ridiculous rule of everyone involved needing to go at their own glacial pace. There is though a way of circumventing this ‘free will’ nonsense. If all parties consciously hand over their free will rights and agree to surrender to the higher will in this case, then your spirit friends can move things along much faster. Is there a way to orchestrate this ritual amongst the group ?

      • Lol! Yes, I never believe those friends when it comes to judging timing, hopeless mathematicians of time cycles, what planet are they on? Tsk
        Hmm, I will think about that ritual.. I was hoping they would surrender their free will to MY authoritas! Alas it does seem to be asking too much…

  6. Wow, the clarity of this dark moon!
    And just my life in general lately.
    So many veils are coming off my perception.
    Yesterday I read my tax return for april2015- april 2016 as I’d made an agreement with my (soon to be ex i think) accountant to settle up all the self assessment tax returns early as I’ve been in full time employment since jan of 2016. So about 3 weeks ago he finally submits 2014-2015 but tells me it’s unlikely I’ll ever get back the two grand from when I accidentally over paid tax a couple of years ago because “it’s almost impossible to get money back from HMRC” -really? ok, hey, what do I know right?
    Then he sends me an invoice for £900.00 ja nine hundred pounds.
    Does this include next year’s self assessment too I ask him (over the phone unfortunately- I WISH I had it in writing)
    yes it does he tells me.
    after two and a half weeks I think, hmmmm I’d better remind him before he forgets I’ve paid him for basically the last few months of being “self employed” translation, a full time student, upskilling at adult ed college before getting my current job.
    I asked him at 5pm on Friday. He’s all chirpy as if he now wants to date me or something, like “oh we should get together soon! Be great to see you etc”
    like what now we’re best friends?
    But he is kind of hot. A tall black guy who meditates and does yoga, judo and can write hieroglyphics as his ancestors are from the Dogon tribe apparently so I’d always found him interesting and now that I no longer need to bother with self assessment (my tax automatically comes off my salary each month, it’s a possibility I think…
    Monday morning 8am I get a whatapp message and an email from him.
    My tax return for this year has been submitted, I can see that and he’s included a copy as usual, which is standard procedure I guess.

    No you see, BECAUSE of my numerical literacy issues and the ADHD, I’ve never been able to read a financial statement and I HATE how ditzy that makes me feel. Incidentally this is why so many women are undiagnosed, we are socialised to shrug and grin and flutter the eyelashes ala Cameron Diaz in The Mask “I’m just TERRRIBLE with that kind of thing.” chin down eyes to camera.

    Now I have reservations about taking ADHD medication, I do but yesterday this happened.
    For the first time ever I not only read the entire thing but I understood that he is ripping me off.
    Under the section where it says where to pay the refund, he’s put HIS bank account details, address and home phone no.
    Why on earth should that money go through his account?
    Surely it could be paid directly into mine?

    In the email he mentions that at some point I can expect a refund of £900 from HMRC because he is “working on it” and will “let me know if he manages to make any headway there”

    Considering how I didn’t earn anything until I got this job and all the tax owed since Jan is already paid, the entire tax return form couldn’t have taken 20 minutes tops to complete. There’s almost nothing on it besides how much I earned since Jan and how much tax I’ve paid on that money. I’m guessing they already HAVE this info anyway as my boss is SUPER thorough about such things and copies me in on all correspondence of a legal and official nature. The guy I’m working for isn’t loaded but he is straight up and totally has my back. He’s really proved it lately as I’ve had a pretty tough time and he has been STAUNCH. Work
    is even covering my first six EMDR sessions without my having to ask.

    Anyway so get this.
    This accountant guy has invoiced me ANOTHER £900.00 – no wait, nine hundred and THIRTY pounds for submitting this tax return. The £30 pounds is to cover the paypal costs.

    But how fishy does this all sound?

    He NEVER submits anything until I pay him, yet he’s done so this time.
    My gut saiys because HE KNOWS he’s pushing his luck, assuming what that because I’m ADHD that makes me stupid and I’m going like FORGET that we agreed I’d paid for both years. I mean £900 is way too much for a single person’s tax return for one year anyway which is why I asked my boss about it and it was he who suggested I ask if this was payment for both years, which may well be why I remembered.
    Previously I’d have hit pay and just chucked money at the problem to make it go away and I thing accountant dude is counting on that.

    This is the guy who went AWOL in January and I had to go Columbo on,TWICE tracking him down in Africa where he was travelling without internet access. All my emails to him bounced back as if the email account had been closed. I now suspect they were fake bounce emails because that account work just fine now. He waved his magic accountant want and somehow got the penalty for late payment waived which I’d never have had if he’d done his job as promised TWICE. At the time I assumed it was my fault somehow, again, lessons in feminism and assertiveness required.

    Also it seems like he’s claiming my £900 from HMRC as a dodgy kind of insurance policy because, come on, he’s seen my bank statements. I can’t afford FOOD right now. Paint, yes but that’s because a jar of paint lasts for months and it’s cheap and I’m still renovating and decluttering my cave.

    But should I wait till the new moon to tell him why I’m not paying him and to ask why he’s put his bank details down where mine should be and why he LIED?

    I mean, the guy broke his word.
    End of story.
    He’s fired and there’s no way I have to pay him, is there?

    I’m having a meeting with my boss tomorrow who’s going to look over the paperwork. He said what he’s done sounds illegal. It may not be and I wish him no harm – I’m just not taking this shit lying down, not paying him and I want to tell him that he broke his word. Maybe it’s nothing to him but its a fucking huge big deal to me. Almost more than the money itself (almost) but as a symbol. I mean if you can’t trust your accountant, who CAN you trust?

    I read something in the daily mystic about Palas Athena and Mercury and a bunch of other planets in my tenth. It really feels as if that tenth house is waking up lately.

  7. This dark moon day was my first day of being unemployed from the job I got laid off of this past month… I feel like it’s a new beginning, though, even though I don’t have a new job yet. I feel relief, though I’m facing a dire financial situation….it’s weird.

    Scopes for Crab rising said to ‘take it easy’ today, which was perfect, and I mostly did just that, and some self care by doing my grocery shopping for healthy food and cleaning house a bit, these things made me feel good. New moon and other Leo stuff is opposite my Aqua Sun…..

    I ate the most wonderful ear of corn tonight for dinner…..so good it made me grateful for everything, the taste was like a catalyst for a revelation on how simplicity can be so nourishing. I hadn’t felt that sated by a food experience, and such a basic one, in a long time. Pure enjoyment, and it made me feel grounded, like I don’t need much to be happy.

  8. Sag is my 6th house and Mars will now repeat for the third time these transits.
    First it conjuncts my Jupiter at 1 deg, trines my MC and last but not least squares up to natal Pluto. The new moon conjuncts my natal Uranus in Leo in the 2nd while transiting Uranus and Eris continue to conjunct my sun in Aries.
    August will be a long celebration of the end of this Mars retro and shadow time.
    It’s about time to move forward again ! Please 🙂

  9. Oh my god, just thought of something else. This moon is in Leo 12th, and the synchronicities are just flying at my face. The moon is trining Uranus in Aries and I am currently having my Uranus half return. I feel like I am a conduit for something electrical.

    I work in an academic library. Yesterday, this weird synchronicity happened again, it is the second time in recent weeks that I have been on the phone to someone who wanted a particular book, only to have another person come in and return the book that I am talking about on the phone. Current book stock in this library, has to be like half a million items, easily. I don’t know what the mathematical odds are but I am listening, to whatever the hell is happening, My boss was there when it happened both times and she is like “whoah”.

  10. And.

    Is anyone else having seriously crazy life post event assessment dreams?

    It’s like my brain has kept a secret catalogue and I’m suddenly remembering all sorts of random events from my past.

    • Dreams yes, and also waking life things. I was talking to this lady in the supermarket in the other day, don’t know her, we kept bumping into each other in the aisles and it was a “Not stalking ya, honest!” funny thing. The smell of her soap/perfume triggered a forgotten memory of playing with a small child who had a toy shop, complete with till and fake tin cans/veg. Random. Had totally forgotten about that afternoon, and the people who I was with, and yeah it was like a reassessment.
      Did you get your speedboat going?

      • Scent triggers are amazing. And seem to hit emotions so much more than visual ones. I just can’t believe how much of this is stored in our brains. Not gone… Just dormant.

        Speedboat = stalled boat.
        Time to sleep. New plan in the morning. 😉

        • Oh yeah! I love it that my current bathroom smells exactly like a much-beloved bathroom from the past. I really love being in it. I hope you had a good sleep, happy new moon. I found this quote when I was doing the iching today:
          “Anyone who monitors his dreams and other images knows that the unconscious is a continuous wellspring of psychic energy. Jung has observed that we are probably dreaming all of the time — the only reason we don’t usually notice this is because the conscious mind is so powerful that the more subtle manifestations of the psyche are eclipsed. Since consciousness consists of only the upper layers of a deep continuum of awareness it is obvious that we are being continuously “created from within.” The ultimate source of our being is not easily accessible, but all of the empirical evidence points to a “Self” which transcends the space-time continuum — i.e., lives in another “dimension.” “

  11. Where did the vibe of that incredible full moon in saggitarius go? Suffering from a crushing, corrosive case of envy at the moment and have been since Dec-Jan. It’s hideous and very non-me.. Ugh. I get that we use it as fuel for further achievement etc but ugh ugh again. Envy person does all the astro that I struggle with – cancer, Leo, Scorpio. I think.

    • Is the envy person the narcissist that your ex is marrying? If so, inhale the burned rubber and exhale thanks that you are free of this muggle. Anyone that knowingly marries a grown adult that has a mirror fetish is a bit questionable. I get you on the envy, I remember a little meltdown when an old boyfriend of mine got married. Did I want to marry him? No. But I felt like a non-person as all around me people got their shit together (or so it felt). I suspected (and still do) that he is actually gay and was folding to pressure from his parents (the type who you would not want to come out to or risk being disinherited) and was doing the expected thing. I was with him for 5 years, and I think my instincts are reliable. The way I saw it though, at the time, was “If he can get married then there must be something really wrong with me” lol. Twisted as hell. I moved on from that but instead of feeling sorry for him (and her, if I am right) I just felt mad because she was getting married and I was not. I dunno where the sag moon vibe went, I hope you are ok. I’ve been lurking on these boards since 2013, for what it’s worth Pi you come across as a blinder of a human being, just a really lovely funny, quirky person. Keep awn truckin xxx

    • A mirror only shows you a reflection of reality… And it’s shown as opposite.

      There could be a complete shit storm behind the facade.

    • Hey. Thank you for the words. I appreciate this.
      Had some other realizations that I’ll spare from the world but your comments helped. X

  12. Yas: definitely more open! Did my research while Mars was rx; actioned as Mars regained Scorpio ground. Coordinated attacks on all fronts & the view from here is *fresh*. My Mars in Scorpio appreciates you, Mars into Sagittarius. And into Capricorn, & Aquarius… then my AC-Jupiter… I heart Mars vibe 🙂

    • I think this must be the work of (digital) Uranus stationary Rx…it’s too early for it to be Mercury Rx, as the shadow doesn’t kick for another 9 days and Virgo is a pretty high-functioning placement for Mercury.

      Are you an Aquarius Sun or do you have Uranus as your chart ruler, perhaps? The Aquarians I know have all had mega weird glitches going on the last few days. Or perhaps Uranus rules your 3rd, impacting communications.

      I have Sun/Uranus myself and just got word of a baby surprise completely out of the blue as Uranus stationed in aspect to my Sun and my 3rd house Moon. I’m shocked, but happy 🙂

      • I’ve been having tech glitches everywhere. About 3 posts going in the wrong spot. My laptop going nutz. I sent a msg to my ex that was meant my gf- mea gulpa.
        (Uran 1H cj Merc + Bucket Handle Aqua Moon)

    • Same! So I called a different provider this a.m. & scheduled the switch for the near future. At lunchtime my current provider showed up on my doorstep, wanting permission to put a sign in my yard to advertise their crappy service. No. Goodbye.

    • yeah
      i heard uranus was going retro
      it did a burnout on my south node and i choked on the burning rubber
      news of an old flame getting married to a self confessed narcissist. A charismatic narcissist, worse. “oh you’re so cute with your self obsession and mirror fetish” The virgo flame has a giant libra stellium so you know. It figures.

      • freedom though. taken me a few KOs, metaphorically speaking, to drop this one from my life. creep back in like mould, those node things

        • realisation! how do you fix mould? heat, air. dry. fire!! kill it with fire. ok. thanks MM for the space to randomly realise this

          keelkeel hope the speedboat mechanic hurries up XX

          • Like the actual thing…You can’t bleach it. It just uses the chemicals to go stealth.
            Tricky trickster mould.
            Oil of cloves natural voodoo… All you get is Maintenance despite your hard work.

            Burn the lot and start again. Fire = Phoenix.

            Motor still down.
            I think I may have located one of the paddles.
            This means I’m moving again.
            But only in circles. 😉

            • Drank hot cider this eve with a good sprinkling of cloves… Hehe for the mould within lol x

  13. Ah, dark moon and dealing with kids and their parents on holiday. That’s why I feel like doing a murder! 🙂

    I am in work, lunch hour, I want to be under a duvet, it is freezing and yet this is supposed to be summer. WTAF?

    We close for lunch and I just practically drop-kicked through the exit an annoying parent who has been here for 3 hours with her annoying children, who was explaining in her annoying monotone voice to her annoying kids why they have to get up from one more of their annoying screaming tantrums on the carpet so that “the lady can have her lunch”. It took 10 minutes of “Oh darling, pleases” and “Oh Benji, we can watch a dvd and have cake if you would just please not hit your sister and come along”


    • maybe have a bottle of vodka* on the counter (whatever) that you open and start drinking from, maintaining eye contact with customers, when they don’t exit the premises in time^. Feet up, swig, relax, repeat

      *doesn’t actually have to be vodka.
      ^ advise your boss beforehand to forestall disciplinary action arising from complaints

  14. Ok this is how it is, I’m new to MM and fell in head first with the whole website, the horoscopes (obs), the writing full of wit and references that make me think and remember, the blog, the feedback AND the art works (my god that is a huge and warm welcoming maze for exploration). Anyways I teach visual arts and discovered the most rad image of an Indigenous male (greyscale, scarred and traditionally dressed) surrounded by a tilted/skewed coloured forest. I wanted to show it to my students and realised I lost it! seriously I have stalked, hunted, searched archives, melted and fretted and well actually obsessed. Has anyone seen it in the glorious web of MM? h e l p …. Taurus(Sun, Mercury, Mars) Aq rising and Moon/Venus in Aries XxXx

  15. OH MY GODDESS this Dark Moon has been HIDEOLA for the health, admin and such. But got a new Dr out of the process (and other self care tips) and am looking forward to starting the regime of awesome afresh on the new moon!


    There were deffo psych realisations aplently w. mars in scorp. Too private to post obviously, but yeah.

  16. Wow – total weird day. I have had a tortuous relationship with my birth mother – it’s all about her guilt, her family, her needs and I end up feeling really pushed away but in a weird jelly fish tentacled way like come here but go away. I haven’t seen her for 16 years and will be in her city for work this week. Had what I thought was a really healing chat yesterday and we agreed to meet for a coffee for an hour.

    I had to call today to confirm a time – she was cold and so absolutely rude! Said she want meeting me she was focusing on her own family. I said I was not seeking anything and I would not be contacting her again and hung up. I am financially secure, Uni educated and together and have a good relationship with my adoptive parents and she knows this. To be honest It just hurt like FUQ – feels like being rejected by my mother all over again even though I am 44 in 23 days time there is something primal in the rejection and it was so unexpected I just didn’t steel myself for the conversation today as yesterday was so positive. I am Virgo, sag ascendant with Neptune rising. So angry and so very hurt and disappointed. Sorry for sharing but I just felt I had to type it all out and make it real and feel the loss of a relationship I never had and am never going to get!

    • What a horror! While she must be terrified of this situation on some level it just goes to show her weakness and regardless being unkind and rude is shameful in such a delicate situation. Don’t be sorry for sharing Redlipstick Virgo, it’s very generous of you to help us understand your story and the dark moon via your life. Many hugs and much love to you.. Hope the new moon brings you warmth and affection in spades as you deserve.

      • Thank you so much for your kind words Sphinx – I am feeling better already. Today showed me the exactly spot I need to heal.

        I love this blog – such good and beautiful beings gathered together! Blessings to all ?

    • Oh that’s just awful. I hope you have (real) loved ones near. What a letting go. But seeing as you don’t have to make that date anymore maybe you could take this time for yourself. I find that several hours in a bath-house does wonders for the soul.

    • With that new bit of information regarding her personality/behavior, I would be happy she did not raise me.

    • I’m so sorry you’re hurting! But you are very much loved and wanted – your adoptive parents hand-selected you from a sea of possibilities and it was you they fell in love with <3

      I am sorry…some women are just not fit to be mothers, as they would devour their young. Emotionally and psychologically, of course – I don’t mean literally. Count your blessings that you were not raised by her, luv – this sounds like some possibly disordered behavior on her part and having myself grown up with a BPD mother, I can assure you that if this is indeed the case it is no picnic and you are probably much better off having been adopted by two normal, sane, loving parents. I feel bad for her other children, too – imagine what they could have experienced growing up with her. I don’t think this is someone *I* would want in close proximity to me…

      Speedy healing to your heart – I often think our family-of-choice is so much more powerful than our family-of-origin. This includes our friends and significant others as well….we can’t do anything about the family we’re born into, but we can choose to surround ourselves instead with loving, supportive people who care about our wellbeing as and antidote the pain and sadness associated with those who birthed us into this world <3

      • Wow!!! That is one of the best and true statements I’ve ever read/heard….”our family of choice is so much more powerful than our family of origin”. Such a potent and beautiful reminder of what can be created to nuture us and to love us. ??

    • My fl n blood dad is like that. “I havn’t got time for the pain”.
      Ich verstehen. Same with my mum. Some are just scheissenfesters.

      • Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

        We may not think we have time for pain, but pain has plenty of time for us. If not this life then it hands us a little heavy parcel as we cross the Threshold, saying quietly on our ear so no one else can hear: “by the way, you forgot this.”

        • I was going on somethn Sphinx said about the type of stuff where the person is unwilling to enter a resolution awhile back. Basically, say it out aloud, or burn it, and forget about it. It was like de-coupling a half-tonne trailer from your car.

          dunno about the River Styx tho.

    • Strength to you RV x I for one appreciate your openess, we may be a virtual family but that doesn’t mean we care about each other any less or with any less feeling. You are safe here.
      The incarnation of our soul is full of unknowns when it comes to our biological birthing. Did we choose them ? Did we use them ? Did we have an agreement between us ?
      An arrangement ?
      The answers only become evident as our lives progress and in your case it turns out that by birthing you and handing you over to the parents who raised and loved you, this was the method that was necessary to bring you to where you are today.
      However cruel her behaviour this week, her role was crucial to your needs being fulfilled and in many ways things are probably exactly as they should be. In fact her behaviour just confirms this while eliminating those ‘what if’ questions that may have remained in your heart. Maybe in her way she has released you, and in turn strengthened the bond you have with your life long parents.

    • I’m adopted too and have a similar experience…also the only child (of 6) she had that was university educated (self financed). All of my 5 other half siblings have reunited and they can’t get my birth mother to admit she had another baby she placed in adoption. (I have an older half sister who was also placed for adoption. When the word came back that my birthday mother just can’t admit to having me (it’s a 50 year old secret) it hit my heart bad….chest pains bad. Broken Heart bad. A year later and tons of mom crap with my adoptive mom and I’m finally moving through this shiz.

      Much love and virtual hugs. I had to listen to a lot of Jagged Little Pill and Enjoy Vogue and power rock songs to help me take my power back. I’m glad you hung up and got the last word. Birth parents have their own torment I understand, but they also have to deal that their choices do have real consequences of real human beings with real feelings and their own anguish. I don’t expect my birth mother to be in my life, but not admitting she had me at all is total crappie.

      So I’ve committed myself to be so successful that I owe it to myself to make that known. Facebook can be a brutal revenge success. And very Library Stealth.

      Much love to you!

  17. Thanks mystic, nnngh dig deep pi
    Monthlies just in the nick of time. Theme: Strong
    ? (that’s a dragon emoji.. if it turns into a q Mark)

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Mystic Medusa