Ask Mystic: Sleeping With The No-Go Scorpio Artist

Filed in Ask Mystic

Steven Meisel

Dear Mystic,

Hey, how are you? Yes 2016 has been weird. Wasn’t it supposed to be all red carpet and gold statues for us Virgos? More like carpets pulled out from underneath and being bonked on the head by statues.

 In October of 2013, I interviewed an artist. There was chemistry right from the get go. But all signs said “No Go”. Let’s make a list of all the red flags: 15 years younger, baby mama in Europe, girlfriend in town, in love with another girl out of state… you get the picture. He asked to bed me. Thank you very much but um…with all that baggage? Uh, no thank you.

He’s been sniffing around ever since. Popping up every couple of months, texting, calls and…ummm…photos! Very very nice but still I’m keeping my standards high. I want bf not a fuck buddy. Also there’s his astrology — Scorpio, Sag Rising, Gemini Moon and what seems to be my favorite signature in a man — Mars in Scorpio / Venus in Sag. Intense yet playful. Can you spell trouble with a capital T?

But then, mid-April, he rings again (that Mars in Scorpio), desperate to come by. I’m stripping furniture — ripped sweats, smelly t shirt. I mean, I was not even a blip on the cute meter! I had my hair in a scrunchie! You get the picture — but he was insistent. Okay dude, whatevs, have at it. Let’s have this out. This dilly dally stuff is tiring.

He came over. We dined. We chatted. We got frank about everything. And then we started…dancing. My Taurus moon moves very slowly and then there’s my Venus-Neptune square to contend with so I was cautious. All was going well – talking and texting every day, learning each other, sharing secrets, you know — til the end of June when we stayed overnight together for the first time. Just cuddling, mind you, but it was super intense — and since then…zip.

He’s been traveling for work since late July through mid September. Part of me is super mad at myself for letting down my guard — ugh, I like him! — the other part says no worries, he’ll be back, he always is.

Not that I thought we were going to white picket fence it or anything as prosaic as that — but I was hoping “travel all over the world together, inspire each other to create the most amazing work of our careers and I turn up in his most well-know piece”? (And yes, I fully admit that my Venus in Leo is showing) I actually like him in “Netflix and binge and let’s take a road trip next weekend” kind of way and not just a “now that you’ve curled my toes, could you please leave, you’re annoying the hell out of me and I have work to do” way. He’s had three years to get under my skin and he has. [and yes, you can publish that part too]

Thoughts?

Red Flag Virgo

Dear Red Flag Virgo,

Well, T.B.H. my first thought here is what’s with the “intense cuddling” …? And from a Mars in Scorpio gentleman? And then i think that if your subliminal operating procedure with the Venus-Neptune square is to have someone tantalizing, erratically attentive, eccentric and texting but not actually getting in your aura or taking up too much time, you have hit the mother load.

And yes, Trouble. In that he is not exactly vibing like a contender for your Taurus Moon/Virgo ideals. He no doubt will be back (unless the intense cuddling consisted of sufficient conquest points and he is the type to move on post-conquering) but would he be back in a form that would satisfy you? What if it takes another three years to get to a Netflix night?  HOWEVER, Saturn is heading for his Sagittarius Rising/Venus and this can mean someone totally happily to form a sound bond, to do Empire and work together.

But you are (i know this, even though we are using a pseudonym here) an established writer and a woman of independent means – do you really want to join the harem of Scorpio Artist? It did not seem to make many of Picasso’s “muses” that thrilled with life.  It would be unpleasant to hear of your mojo being dissipated through trying to anticipate the movements of Scorpio Artist (someone should invent an app for this sort of thing) or when he is going to blow in to town next.

What does everyone else think?

Image: Steven Meisel

 

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Jenna
Jenna

The problem is that you did not have sex with him, after 3 years, no less. When a Scorpio is ready for sex, and after 3 years, NO DOUBT – it usually takes them 3 seconds to 3 minutes to make the decision – then that is simply a big part of what they want. When they don’t get it, expect passive aggressiveness. Expect it! Trust me.

Signed
The girl who has made more than one Scorpio mad, unintentionally

Jen
Jen

Girrrl…..you already know the answers! Move the hell on!

P.MM Member
P.

OMG!!!!!!! In October 2013, a Virgo with Taurus Moon, interviewed me, a Scorpio artist with Gemini Moon. That’s to start…. We’re still working together. There’s more but I ain’t telling.

But mind blown at the symmetry of this sitch. Geezus…

Lizard King
Lizard King

I have no idea why but the he current astro vibe is so damn horny!

flowerchild
flowerchild

Seems like if you were really ok with the dynamic between you and this guy, and what you are getting out of the situation, you wouldn’t be turning it over in your mind so much, or having reservations, or asking for outside advice on here, or using the words ‘red flag’. You may be going against your own standards you’ve got for yourself, by engaging with this guy at all, and that’s why you feel uncomfortable. It’s really hard not to take the bait when there’s chemistry and all that…I totally get that. Read every bit of the site http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk… Read more »

kgil
kgil

OMG RFV! I have had the exact same time frame issues with my younger Aquarian love interest on the other side of the world!!! We met two years ago… insane connection. Then I had to return to Australia, we kept in contact over that time…. Then mid-April he was back in contact (lots of it….). We were texting etc every few days up until end of June/early July then BOOM……. radio silence. There has been very sporadic communication since then, but he’s basically fallen off the face of the planet. What is with that timing? Communication began as soon as… Read more »

JokermanMM Member
Jokerman

Did you say “Aquarius”
(I know not all….. but quite a few)

Redlipstick VirgoMM Member
Redlipstick Virgo

Had exactly the same thing with an Aqua guy for years – intense connection and contact and fuqing off. He’s in Russia now – total mind fuqtard!

ChiMM Member
Chi

Burn it

ChiMM Member
Chi

Reminds me of Chopra book. If you chase the God of Money, he runs from you; but the Goddess of Love will chase you.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seven_Spiritual_Laws_of_Success

JokermanMM Member
Jokerman

I should be filthy rich.

ChiMM Member
Chi

desires unrequited love

TripleLMM Member
TripleL

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aobIboK_z34

Some inspirational sounds. Go get you a better worm, babes.

davidlMM Member
davidl

They are usually nocturnal and wander all night. Sleeping in all day, resting up for another forage later in the evening.
They’re second fave song is ‘wild thing’

davidlMM Member
davidl

I think the song, ‘Love the one you’re with’ has a lot to answer for 🙂 May I remind you of the overall theme as understood by males … You can root anyone .. That night, in real time ..because you sort of love them. (Even though you’ve only known them for 30 minutes.) Let’s live in the now ! (Cause Im horny always) I’m pretty sure there is a reference to ‘open roads’ and you can decide what that’s all about 🙂 In Australia it is related to the WOMBAT Eats, roots and leaves. Wombats don’t have phone no.s… Read more »

baristagemMM Member
baristagem

Such a romantic 😉

Lux Interior Is My Co-PilotMM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

Well the choice is yours–it depends what you are after.

Perhaps you could go for a cold hearted experimental style where YOU become the unavailable/flaky/hot/cold one and mess with his feelings, LOL.

But yeah, it’s been a while. Treat ’em mean to keep ’em keen is always a good strategy with flaky types.

baristagemMM Member
baristagem

Being a Gemini Moon and Venus, this is my perfect love scenario.

It’s hot and free. Gemmy’s don’t always want to settle into something because we kind of can’t be settled, even within ourselves, our imaginations are always running wild.

Go with it, if you can

HoudiniMM Member
Houdini

The hot-cold game, charisma strategically deployed, random lust episodes, persistence that is hard to resist AND then the phantom chapter. Hello madness!! And he has Moon in Gemini! The ultimate players in the mental/emotional field, in my experience… They liive for a lusty repartee and mind games. Wit and intelligence will keep them very interested. Fun and light with a little edge from the Mars in Scorpio. BUT: Do not fall in love. Astrology aside, all the red flags you mention would not be a problem if you weren’t inclined to LZ all over this guy. Pull back and be… Read more »

baristagemMM Member
baristagem

it’s true but not all of us are players… 😉

ChiMM Member
Chi

Interesting what r u ms

ChiMM Member
Chi

Sorry as in sign, as have experienced sm but dudes in general! Maybe add. personality disorder, so fuqd from get go x

ChiMM Member
Chi

Alexander Supertramp rip

ChiMM Member
Chi

Sylvia Plath is all i thought of after this, hope you go ok, sounds sad x

Annica
Annica

Yup, but please OP don’t put your head in the oven. There is more to life than this jerk.

ChiMM Member
Chi

Just got my tarot and thought i might share, as this is what your letter reminded me of. Do not …“shrink to fit someone else’s idea of whom you should be.”

ChiMM Member
Chi

Oprah’s show once, about i guess teenage girls being used by guys at school for sex, and i guess they got upset/maybe slut shamed can’t recall.
But they wanted no part of the girl post ‘conquest’.
Well the Oprah Dr came on and basically straight up told this kid, …’all you are to these boys is a *** dumpster, a place to go when they want to dump their ***’.
That screen bite has stayed with me from Oprah since it aired about ten years back… xxxxx

scorpy
scorpy

Who would even be attracted to such a dildo in the first place? Only when one has low self-esteem does one throw oneself away like that.

TripleLMM Member
TripleL

Guilty. More times than I care to recount.

That was the old era me. Gone forever, thank gawd.

alchemy-saltMM Member
alchemy-salt

I have absolutely nothing pertinent to add to this discussion that hasn’t already been said (reading it made me sigh heavily because I have wasted SO! MUCH! of my life kidding myself in similar fashion – because of, yes, agonisingly rubbish self esteem issues) but I definitely need to up my use of “dildo” as an insult because that just cracked me the hell up.

Ampersand
Ampersand

My preferred term for a man who takes and never gives is “cocklodger”

UniversaliMM Member
Universali

Haha love that term!! Will be sharing that one 😉

Redlipstick VirgoMM Member
Redlipstick Virgo

I love this term! Fabulous!

marsbar
marsbar

cock-roach.

TripleLMM Member
TripleL

OMG. Full scale, red day, bastard alert.

Run, Forrest, run!

LadyLehMM Member
LadyLeh

Lolz

Libra Moon Conjunct PlutoMM Member
Libra Moon Conjunct Pluto

If you are 150% cool with having a completely no-strings relationship that probably won’t result in significant gains in love, money and happiness AND are willing to have losses of self-esteem, emotional energy and time, then hey, so am I.

Libra Moon Conjunct PlutoMM Member
Libra Moon Conjunct Pluto

I’ve made the same leap with similar circumstances, and that was what I got!

DarkkturMM Member
Darkktur

Good Lord, unless you want to be used sexually, emotionally and probably fiscally, run like hell. I wen thru a similar episode, around the same time, and it ended very very badly. Double virgo here, pluto,mars ,venus in leo, him sag sun , venus in scorpio, 8th house uranus, pluto, aqua moon, mars in air. If you need some drama in your life, want meaningless sex, to waste time and energy on someone who doesn’t even GET IT, and to spend months trying to disentangle yourself, maybe years, then go for it.

Saturnine Scorp
Saturnine Scorp

Me too!! Mine was a multi Saggo (Rising, Sun, Uranus, Neptune) Venus in Scorp conjunct Saturn in his 12th. Mars in Libra. Gem NN in his 7th. He was all talk no action. Fed me hopes and dreams and excuses. I had the good sense to walk away last Nov but then in Jan he came back to Sydney to tie up loose ends and ‘cos I have Venus in Libra I caved in and contacted him and we spent a night together just in time for the whole Saturn / Neptune illusion busting. I ended it once and for… Read more »

Saturnine Scorp
Saturnine Scorp

*never come.

Lindsey
Lindsey

Dude hasn’t come to terms with the fact that he’s gay.

LiberatingVenusMM Member
LiberatingVenus

Ah, you have found yourself being pursued by what I like to refer to as Dumpster Dick. As I used to tell a girlfriend of mine who had a penchant for Dumpster Diving, it’s all about raising your own vibe so these guys don’t even come around. Pouring freakish amounts of energy into self-development/awareness tends to intimidate the fuq out of these kinds of fellas – strength and empowerment radiate out of your energy field and sends them scuttling like roaches when the lights are turned on. It was pretty clear that sex was all he would make available to… Read more »

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

Dumpster Dick a.k.a. slumming. Fucking with inferior shit to feel superior with low types, LZ distraction for aspiring Haute. I know – I would go 2-3 years, get bored and lonely, settle, move on after 3 months repeat. Made the choice to never settle again 6.5 years ago. Had 2 crushes, but no chasing, e-stalking, nada. My horny demons just messing with my inner mojo while still pumping external iron. NOT settling is for the tenacious. It can feel long though. I am tempted to settle but I won’t. But the universe has been giving signs that the drought is… Read more »

Ampersand
Ampersand

Search “Disappearing Reappearing Man What to do” and act accordingly. Dating advice from an astrologer.
I haven’t LZ’d since 2012 when I stumbled across this. Cocky little Arien, also 15 years younger than me. Ouch.

Annica
Annica

Lol did we date the same idiot? So glad he is out of my life now.

Ampersand
Ampersand

Was he a bass player with a messiah complex?

I wonder if I, and the OP, would feel the same about these people if they were, say, bus drivers? It’s like if someone is an “artiste” then they get far more leverage to be a rude twat than the rest of the population. So over that.

PiMM Member
Pi

From what I have seen, Virgo rising peeps (not sure if op is Virgo rising) specialise in the starving-artiste genre of partner. It’s the Pisces descendant you see. Wayward floaty (probably talented) Pisces gets a PA and carer, Virgo gets a project. I say this with no malice! Just a wink ; )

Saoirse Kirke
Saoirse Kirke

Guilty.

samanthaMM Member
samantha

oh wow. Virgo rising and that applies to me. Thanks for the insight.

Ampersand
Ampersand

Guilty as charged! My Venus/Neptune conjunction has a big part to play too.

FieryPhoenixMM Member
FieryPhoenix

Yep. Guilty too. But now I’m onto it, the whole Piscean flame to my moth, I see it and steer well clear. (So hard, sooooo hard). I think I read somewhere, a first big love is the 5th house, the next /marriage is the 7th (helloooo Lower Neptunian) and the third, possibly more enduring is the 9th… Those that grow together stay together. So I’m taking the moral to be, go for that Taurean longer term!

marsbar
marsbar

oh goodness! The man I am dating now has Virgo ASC. I guess I will be The Project for once instead of the one doing the makeover! :p

LibraLilithMM Member
LibraLilith

Oh god Virgi rising here – never really thought about the Pisces DC. Explains a lot. Engaged to a chef who I supported then married an arrtist who I’ve supported for 12 years.
Finally starting to wise the fuq up. VIrgo makes you hang on way too long martyring yourself I think.
And uncannily have also been doing the unavailable Scorpio this year. At least he has a job I guess!

Annica
Annica

Close. He has LSD (lead singer disease) and a yoga teacher to boot! So yeah right up there with messianic complex.

Ampersand
Ampersand

Oooooh mate

*pats you sympathetically on the shoulder*

CharleeMM Member
Charlee

Thanks for that Ampersand been in that site for a few days, love your work.

Ampersand
Ampersand

“What does everyone else think?”

I think he’s an asshole: he hasn’t contacted you since June.

RUN

bobo-deeMM Member
bobo-dee

Omg! This lol so true

Annica
Annica

I agree. I had someone ghost me late 2015/early 2016 after he told me how much he loved me…yeah right…..and no matter how much i loved him, i was like fuck off by June when i got a better man. If you have to guess his motivations and his next move this might be too complicated and not worth it but also stressful.

PorkchopMM Member
Porkchop

He may not be used to women playing hard to get or turning him down. I think he wanted to chase / conquer but nothing more. Maybe the intense cuddling (lol, but I say that with love) and texting etc has satisfied his ego and that is enough for him. Or, he may continue to pop up here and there. Very frustrating!!!! Don’t think it would be worth the mental energy.

LadyLehMM Member
LadyLeh

Yes. “He’s really not that into you” which I’ve always found rather harsh – but maybe it’s more like, would you be pursuing someone if you felt the way you wished he did for you? As in, calling maybe once or 20 times since fucking JUNE? Be strong.

Ghosted
Ghosted

All I can say is why do guys to this? I mean you know if there is no chemistry or they are not into you or vice versa.. But when it is obviously there.. Why do they vanish?

Ampersand
Ampersand

Because types like this have a lot of people who they are into sex-wise and they have them on a giant rotation.

Corrina
Corrina

Lack of other options? … sorry but that’s been my experience.

In terms of the chemistry, well I just don’t see too many men in the generations since the 60s be willing to make a commitment or even consider commitment to a relationship as a positive thing.. Even for the 20 odd years it takes to raise a child.

Redlipstick VirgoMM Member
Redlipstick Virgo

hmmm … I think you are amazing and you write beautifully by the way. You deserve someone who is present and available – you are not some cocky guys mind FUQ. As much as you have longing this guys is feeding off it – close of your energy and mentally pull it back. He will call, but you deserve better. My mother always said “when I man really loves you he leaves you in no doubt” and it proven twice in my life with a relationship over a decade and now my new partner of over a year – after… Read more »

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

Tell the babies. When someone digs you there is no doubt only relating happening.

PiMM Member
Pi

god, RLV, thank you for this reminder….

Dido
Dido

So, so true. Thank you.

EnDeeMM Member
EnDee

I’m new here so I’ll start by saying hello to everyone 🙂
I’m only learning astro, but mid April to end of June… wasn’t that the same time as Mars retro?

EnDeeMM Member
EnDee

I mean as in he’s got a lot of Mars action going on but at the time Mars itself was retro, so that could be a reason for it to go pear shaped couldn’t it?

dizzarinaMM Member
dizzarina

No.

You already know this. This is Love Zombie waiting to happen.
I suggest you visualize a lover with an earth sun or moon, with the Mars Scorp/Venus Sag combo. Then you can have your cake and Netflix with it, too.

PiMM Member
Pi

I think the answer to your dilemma is in the second paragraph of your email…. he’s, kinda… “busy” I actually lol’d at the intense cuddling. I get it. Had hotter makeout sessions with a mars in scorp I once knew than actual sex with other men. It’s all about the body talk. gah so good. I’d still eat him for breakfast. Alas he had venus in cancer and I couldn’t get my femme on quite enough for this level of venusianness. romantically I’m somewhere between die antwoord ultra wierd and farrah in the red swimsuit kind of thing (not looking… Read more »

PiMM Member
Pi

that became all about me. whoops. Mystic has a point. you’re earth babe. he’s scorp minstrel. but his scorpness has snagged your virgo dark side? or something. Yeah. Scorp poison is sometimes just enough to get you hooked but not enough to kill you yeah? like nicotine, opiates, et al. system takes a while to process it out. good luck with however things go. option is also to let it ride – give it an open ended scenario. No get togethers, no endings, just leave things in a tidy heap to come back to at some point. works in progress.… Read more »

ElectroMM Member
Electro

Best eaten outside as not to spread the crumbs indoors?

PiMM Member
Pi

LOL! probably.

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

Travelling all over the world being a muse is under-rated – been there, done that. Only one gets the shine and money so you are dependent unless you’re on the payroll via social nepotism, and unless you’re mega in love you could easily be given the flick in a town even WITHOUT a port. If you want something serious, wave and keep sailing. If you don’t mean the Tug Boat chugging in on occasion with a Motherload of Scorp (that Gemini moon gives me heebie-jeebies – Rising is even too much for me and I have a damn Gemini Rising… Read more »

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

TYPO – OVER-RATED. Goddamn OVER rated.

Leo on the RiseMM Member
Leo on the Rise

You already know what we all think on this one…..

Lose the number honey…..

LadyLehMM Member
LadyLeh

Block it if you think you wont be able to resist his next calling.

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

I was hoping: “travel all over the world together, inspire each other to create the most amazing work of our careers and I turn up in his most well-know piece”.

I got: “dancing, talking and texting.., learning each other, sharing secrets.. til the end of June.. super intense…cuddling..and since then…zip”.

Awww, I have met this guy in another dude’s body!
Pretty sure I had no third part to my storyline either.. 🙁

Libra9MM Member
Libra9

Walk. Away.

LadyLehMM Member
LadyLeh

RUN.

Annica
Annica

So true.not that many famous bios written by muses instead of the artists but can’t be that great! This guy has neptune car wreck written all over him, but if you just want a good time go for it. I dont see him as avail. But so true re: virgos this year. So many of my virgo friends have wasted 2016 trying to guild their turds of boyfriends only to find the gold leaf not sticking. Lots of situations where they be hitting blue hoochie really bad instead of career focus. Hard to believe they decided to spend jupes and… Read more »

Unicorn SparklesMM Member
Unicorn Sparkles

Oh dear.

katycoyote
katycoyote

Sounds like self sabotage to me…he’s doing what he knows he can get away with, If you’re enjoying a flint and don’t mind ( Really don’t mind I mean) that its never going to go anywhere, then its fine. But it sounds like someone who its easy to romanticise about..but in the cold light of day he’s not going to be supportive if you’re having a crap time or be on the end of the phone when you need company. You sound a little bored? There’s lots of exciting artists out there …just go and hang out in places where… Read more »

katycoyote
katycoyote

that should read fling

davidlMM Member
davidl

I’m not sure what the problem is ?

Corrina
Corrina

Me either? I do know that when I was obsessed with the idea of partnering (including white picket fences), I always fretted over the consequences of my various dalliances. Now that I’m too old to give a shit really, I’ve turned into a bit of a collector. Well I am a Cancer, we are known for that. Not in a nasty way mind you … just in an accepting of what comes along, who I am and what life brings kind of way. Currently the Aries brings great sex, great orgasms and no hassles. The Capricorn injects drama and constant… Read more »

Buckle (Aries Sun; Pisces Asc; Gem Moon.)
Buckle (Aries Sun; Pisces Asc; Gem Moon.)

Yes.

This is only an issue if you have ‘parked’ yourself to the side of romantic life on the promise of CLEARLY NOTHING from this dude.

In which case, get back on the road and get moving.

quintileMM Member
quintile

*parked yourself to the side of romantic life* love it!

Buckle (Aries Sun; Pisces Asc; Gem Moon.)
Buckle (Aries Sun; Pisces Asc; Gem Moon.)

BTW, the other element to the story which made my ears prick up was Red Flag Virgo saying how unattractive she looked at the time (stripping furniture, wearing scrunchy).

I have heard this before from Love Zombies trying to convince friends that the guy must have been wanting something deeper.

It’s important to not dwell on this pretty silly detail. It means nothing that you thought you looked like a swamp thing – it is not a signifier of love. Get real.