Thank you for all of your writing but especially the horoscopes – it has taught me so much about astrology but more than that, your posts are always fun and engaging so a joy to read…
I am writing because I am fearful I could turn into a love zombie of sorts, but I don’t feel it has happened just yet… I have met a guy that I feel really connected and aligned with on multiple levels – he is a Sun Scorpio, Ascendant Capricorn and Moon Aquarius and I am Sun Leo, Ascendant Cancer and Moon Pisces. We both have Saturn in Libra which I have always taken to mean that there is lots to learn in the area of relationships…
I feel that we really like one another, we share similar values and we trust one another. We have more in common than any other partner I have had. However, he has just come out of a 17 year relationship / marriage that began when he was 17. As in we met randomly at my workplace the month after he and his ex started living apart. I pride myself on being a balanced person most of the time and I am really in this relationship, yet a part of me feels like he needs to be on his own to process that whole mega-chapter of his life. We are 7 months in and my fear just keeps coming up that he will need this time to himself to heal, etc. any day now.
Any advice on how not to sabotage a relationship due to these fears and how just to take things a day at a time? I am very intuitive and I am unsure as to whether my intuition is nudging me or if it is my fear…
The Leo Wanting To Let Go And Love
Dear Leo Wanting To Let Go And Love,
Thank you for the awesome compliments! Okay I would not necessarily interpret Saturn in Libra that way – i mean, really – we ALL have lots to learn in the area of relationships. I think you need to take Saturn deeper than that, the house position, your ancestral baggage (or is is the more desirable luggage?) and aspects made.
But let’s look at this situation. YES, 17 years is a massively long relationship. His entire adult life to date spent with this one person and so the obvious freak out here is that it’s rebound and that he has not processed or integrated the old relationship.
And when you say “seven months in” – that means this began with Saturn square Neptune. He could be deluding himself about his readiness for another relationship so quickly. You are playing Saturn here. I don’t think you have any Love Zombie symptoms whatsoever. I think you are being wise. You are astutely identifying the positive attributes of your attraction and synergy while also realistically assessing the obvious.
When you say that your “fear keeps coming up” – it is vital to figure out if this is just rational conventional relationship protocol on a repeat loop in your brain, your personal paranoia/intimacy phobia about being hurt or actual real instincts. If you guys have hit pay dirt and this is really is a super-amazing relationship, maybe you defy the convention that people need time to reset after relationships that are so long. Maybe his Moon in Aquarius means he processes things at warp speed. Maybe he did all his grieving for that relationship while he was in it and did not actually make the move out for practical reasons. Why stand in your own way if this is true romance and you’re so compatible?
OR, maybe you’re experiencing strong instinctive vibe that really is telling you something is not right here. You would also want to beware that your work hustle is not affected should anything turn dramatic. Saturn in Libra loves balance, not some messy chaotic vortex of awkward. When it comes to instincts, dreams often warn you. If you are dreaming about him, what is his character or role in your dreams? This often provides vital clues.
Once i was in a similar situation to yours (but the previous relationship had not been so long or started when people were teenagers) and i dreamed i was at this beautiful beach with him. Suddenly, for no reason, he jumped up and began this trek around to another beach, despite rocky cliffs etc being in the way. I woke up, thought how odd and then realized that he was going to return to the previous relationship. The language of dreams – once you learn how to decipher the unique language your own subconscious speaks to you – is empowering at the most magical levels.
So anyway i think there are two tactics or factors to put in to play here. Firstly, the Saturn-Neptune square that this began under is not done properly till October. So there may be more plot twists or information that will come to light in the next nine weeks. And September is Eclipse Season, you know. In other words, you may see yourself as “in” but maybe leave the door AND the window open.
Secondly, i think it would be a good idea to score space without making some over wrought statement about it. So rather than initiating discussions about whether he is “ready” or whatever, just quietly keep your own counsel, take your own time and enjoy his company without pressuring yourself to make any form of commitment yet. It need not be nothing nor everything.
What does everyone else think?
Images: Ten Things I Hate About You
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