Ask Mystic: Leo Wanting To Let Go & Love

Ten ThingsTen Things 2

Hello Mystic,

Thank you for all of your writing but especially the horoscopes – it has taught me so much about astrology but more than that, your posts are always fun and engaging so a joy to read…

I am writing because I am fearful I could turn into a love zombie of sorts, but I don’t feel it has happened just yet… I have met a guy that I feel really connected and aligned with on multiple levels – he is a Sun Scorpio, Ascendant Capricorn and Moon Aquarius and I am Sun Leo, Ascendant Cancer and Moon Pisces. We both have Saturn in Libra which I have always taken to mean that there is lots to learn in the area of relationships…

I feel that we really like one another, we share similar values and we trust one another. We have more in common than any other partner I have had. However, he has just come out of a 17 year relationship / marriage that began when he was 17. As in we met randomly at my workplace the month after he and his ex started living apart. I pride myself on being a balanced person most of the time and I am really in this relationship, yet a part of me feels like he needs to be on his own to process that whole mega-chapter of his life. We are 7 months in and my fear just keeps coming up that he will need this time to himself to heal, etc. any day now.

Any advice on how not to sabotage a relationship due to these fears and how just to take things a day at a time? I am very intuitive and I am unsure as to whether my intuition is nudging me or if it is my fear…

Love,

The Leo Wanting To Let Go And Love

Dear Leo Wanting To Let Go And Love,

Thank you for the awesome compliments!  Okay I would not necessarily interpret Saturn in Libra that way – i mean, really – we ALL have lots to learn in the area of relationships. I think you need to take Saturn deeper than that, the house position, your ancestral baggage (or is is the more desirable luggage?) and aspects made.

But let’s look at this situation. YES, 17 years is a massively long relationship. His entire adult life to date spent with this one person and so the obvious freak out here is that it’s rebound and that he has not processed or integrated the old relationship.

And when you say “seven months in” – that means this began with Saturn square Neptune. He could be deluding himself about his readiness for another relationship so quickly.  You are playing Saturn here. I don’t think you have any Love Zombie symptoms whatsoever. I think you are being wise. You are astutely identifying the positive attributes of your attraction and synergy while also realistically assessing the obvious.

When you say that your “fear keeps coming up” – it is vital to figure out if this is just rational conventional relationship protocol on a repeat loop in your brain, your personal paranoia/intimacy phobia about being hurt or actual real instincts. If you guys have hit pay dirt and this is really is a super-amazing relationship, maybe you defy the convention that people need time to reset after relationships that are so long. Maybe his Moon in Aquarius means he processes things at warp speed. Maybe he did all his grieving for that relationship while he was in it and did not actually make the move out for practical reasons. Why stand in your own way if this is true romance and you’re so compatible?

OR, maybe you’re experiencing strong instinctive vibe that really is telling you something is not right here. You would also want to beware that your work hustle is not affected should anything turn dramatic. Saturn in Libra loves balance, not some messy chaotic vortex of awkward.  When it comes to instincts, dreams often warn you. If you are dreaming about him, what is his character or role in your dreams? This often provides vital clues.

Once i was in a similar situation to yours (but the previous relationship had not been so long or started when people were teenagers) and i dreamed i was at this beautiful beach with him. Suddenly, for no reason, he jumped up and began this trek around to another beach, despite rocky cliffs etc being in the way. I woke up, thought how odd and then realized that he was going to return to the previous relationship. The language of dreams – once you learn how to decipher the unique language your own subconscious speaks to you – is empowering at the most magical levels.

So anyway i think there are two tactics or factors to put in to play here. Firstly, the Saturn-Neptune square that this began under is not done properly till October. So there may be more plot twists or information that will come to light in the next nine weeks. And September is Eclipse Season, you know.   In other words, you may see yourself as “in” but maybe leave the door AND the window open.

Secondly, i think it would be a good idea to score space without making some over wrought statement about it. So rather than initiating discussions about whether he is “ready” or whatever, just quietly keep your own counsel, take your own time and enjoy his company without pressuring yourself to make any form of commitment yet. It need not be nothing nor everything.

What does everyone else think?

Images: Ten Things I Hate About You

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MmAmpersandEmmaScorpieembarkons7 Recent comment authors
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Mm
Mm

A very wise person has told me several times that people need a good 3 or 4 years to process/work through l everything at the end of a long-term relationship, so as not to carry that relationship into the next. I have found that to be true… When people head into something too soon they often recreate the issues of the previous relationship subconsciously, not to mention after really never being alone, this guy’s next lesson is to learn to be able to be in his own. If find that often people jump into the next thing very quickly to… Read more »

Mm
Mm

Actually now I’ve written that (I was assuming you are friends), I reread and now am wondering if you’re already in a relationship… Which means if that’s the case my message wouldn’t have done much to allay your fears… Sorry… I can’t see a delete button!! I would say everyone is unique, but if you’re really frightened of that why not open up a conversation with your partner.. Tell them you’ll be okay no matter what the answer, but you just want the truth.. When we create those spaces which give permission for honesty, you get the bottom line and… Read more »

Ampersand
Ampersand

I agree with Mystic on this one. Also, don’t forget that Uranus is opposing natal Saturn for both of you which could be throwing up issues around future/past for you right now, what will be left once that transit has past. You say that you both like each other and trust each other. That’s great and it is enough. Please try not to worry. Just trust that he is still around, and wants to spend time with you. That’s all anyone has really, we can’t completely know each other’s hearts. There has to be a leap of faith and that… Read more »

Lux Interior Is My Co-PilotMM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

Brillo advice

Ampersand
Ampersand

Cheers! 🙂

embarkons7MM Member
embarkons7

I think Mystic’s advice and a lot of the post here about being equally even-eyed and open-hearted are really sound. I also think that sometimes we heal and grow best within a new relationship. I also think men may be more likely to do this and women more likely to want solo time to process — I remember reading something once about widowers being ready to remarry much faster than widows.

Lux Interior Is My Co-PilotMM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

Wowww that’s intense. One month after the 17 year relationship ends!?

But yeah, Aqua moon can process schizz at warp speed

VictoriaMM Member
Victoria

Leo Rising here in a new relationship with an Aries Sun Cap Asc man who just ended a 17-year relationship! Anyone know anything about what 17-year cycle that might be? He said the last 10 years haven’t been good, with a disinterested spouse who didn’t show any signs of appreciation or consideration. He avoided going home after work for a few years before he eventually left. As for us, I think about the “rebound” thing too. But, he’s not a casual guy about relationships; to Mystic’s point, he mourned the relationship’s decline while he was still in it. Our 4-month… Read more »

emgMM Member
emg

Being cancer cancer fish rising I can get all this. I had a long term from 17 years that lasted until I was 30. I’m also with a guy now who has always lived at home with his mother who is gently leaving the planet. So will end his longest relationship. So I can see both sides. It’s very simply. Let go of future seeing, be open and loving because you’d be a fraud if you didn’t and then let it happen. It will teach you and he’ll learn. It’s all about the love and the ride. And if you… Read more »

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

A gorgeous, charismatic Aries man wearing jewelry – why Universe, WHY must you flaunt such beauty before me???

Man.

PorkchopMM Member
Porkchop

Who knows if you are a rebound or a Ms Inbetween or a soulmate. Only time will tell. Go in with your eyes open and have some fun. Know that if it ends, because he needs to work through some stuff or for some other reason, you will be strong enough to get through it and move on.

ElizabethMMM Member
ElizabethM

Leo w/ Crab and Pisces is such a love bug, empath, emotional source though, and Scorpio w/Cap rising and Aquarius moon is so much more about their own needs getting met, he’s always going to be the taker in this relationship. A Scorp always takes the energy they need (I’m not saying this pejoratively) and after a massive breakup a Leo/Crab/Pisces would be the ideal mega-source of warmth, caring, psychic healing. It certainly doesn’t indicate an exception to the “never rescue” someone you’re starting to date rule, to me. The letter writer is a prize of warmth and emotional connection… Read more »

davidlMM Member
davidl

I reckon anyone who can maintain a relationship for 17 years from a young age has to be given credit on a number of fronts. Stability, loyalty, commitment. So firstly congratulations for finding a person with those qualities. The issue you have which seems to be the seven month gap and weather that is enough for him to process is probably not really an issue. I would say the chances are that the last couple of years of his last relationship were probably a time of lots of processing. Relationships don’t just end, especially long term ones. So I would… Read more »

Jen Scorpio
Jen Scorpio

I would agree with your comment, especially if he was instrumental in initiating the break-up. If the break-up was imposed on him unwillingly, he may need a little bit more time. But i agree wholeheartedly with your last paragraph. Don’t try to fix it for him. Just know your own boundaries and do your own thinking and fixing for yourself.

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

Mmm, Heath Ledger being fun! Sun/Asc conjunct in Aries fire with a lovely soft Cancer Moon *sigh*.

If the relationship is going to be sabotaged it will be done without such a thoughtful conscious person as yourself activating it I think. Relax! Connect to the love vibration every time you tense up and think about the relationship. It will guide you to the correct outcome overtime. Happy loving!

Annabelle
Annabelle

Hello gorgeous Leo ?? You guys a fabulous bunch I must say I just have a few words regarding your situation What if.. He does need space? It is understandable and he might be in delusion about it So what if he needs it? Give it to him… What’s the worst that could happen? He will have time to process his feelings and understand where he’s at which is super important when starting a new relationship its all a process trust Inthe process I would rather my partner with his head on straight and clear with where he’s heading Just… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman

Yes, qui & ja- to the first two lines of 2nd paragraph.
If ya want trust and certainty = give it.

LiberatingVenusMM Member
LiberatingVenus

Well m’dear, you’re 7 months into a relationship – TBH, it’s a little late to be asking what to do now yes? Why not commit to loving fearlessly? Love is always a risk, But you have no indicators of there being trouble on the horizon other than the rebound possibility, but if you knew his history from the beginning and saw this as a possible problem then I am wondering why you would wait 7 months to decide *now* it is a Big Deal? To me, this suggests the possibility that maybe you are afraid to love. I recommend unpacking… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman

My answer below was meant to your post – to LibVen.

Lynne
Lynne

Although only a few positions without degrees are listed, my thoughts are that this is a very fixed personality that needs what the Cancer Ascendant and the Pisces Moon have to give. .The male moon is opposite the female sun and the suns are square. The Libra Saturns are invested in relationship.

Lucy
Lucy

Love the story about the dream! I hope I don’t sound jaded, but I think we all need to protect our hearts a little at first, no matter what the circumstances. Break ups can really rock you and as you get older, you get less willing to throw yourself on the bed and cry for three days straight. I think the fact that he has been in a relationship for so long means he probably doesn’t know how to function outside of one, which means he probably wouldn’t have left the last one lightly. I agree that control is an… Read more »

MissDeeMM Member
MissDee

I have for u the same advice mystic gave plus a tip taken the prev comment from marsbar. Your situation is very Saturn/Nept square. It’s big it’s great but u keep swinging between romantic Neptunian vibes and reality checks from Saturn. This will wrap up in October like mystic said. So don’t commit or leave until then. As hard as is it – I know how u feel and it’s hectic and scary- try and stay focused on u. Is he treating u nicely? Is he there for u where u are together? If so then u are in a… Read more »

PiMM Member
Pi

Love your wise and kind words.

faithfrandelunaMM Member
faithfrandeluna

I totally needed this article! Very insightful 🙂 In a few days my LDR and I are going to be a year into this relationship. I met him online while I was depressed and in a dysfunctional relationship, that months prior, I had been wanting to leave, but had no power to. This changed when I met my current boyfriend. Ever since the start of this relationship I’ve learned better self-care and got back my mojo that ran dry while being exclusive with previous partner (upping my fitness, fabulosity, going back to the art scene, etc), but I started out… Read more »

marsbar
marsbar

How about you Leo WTLG&L? How are you doing? This post seems all about him and what he’ll do. There is no controlling what another person is going to do or not do sadly. How long has it been since your last relationship and how were your past 2 or 3 relationships? rocky and full of love zombie or just meh? Strangely I have a LOT of friends who married their high school sweetheart. I hear this is a dying breed but I know so many its just cray. So i think these people are the sort of don’t think… Read more »

Scorpie
Scorpie

good point Marsbar. Often it’s the LZ non-relationships that are the hardest to get over

Scorpie
Scorpie

sadly they’re the only relationships I’ve had and known.

Something real, long lasting and “normal” has eluded me and I’m 50+ 🙁

My longest has only been 18 month. Never got past the honeymoon stage

I blame my Pluto / Uranus square my moon, venus Libra square Asc.

and maybe my Neptune conjunct Sun… Who knows. Maybe it’s not meant for me in this life time – empty 7th house

Jokerman
Jokerman

Wow. That heck of a birthmark Sonya.

marsbar
marsbar

Ikr? With real relationships where we both tried our very best and it still wasn’t good enough, you can say rationally…well we tried and just give up. The non-relationships have so much untapped potential that you never know if it *would* work if both people tried. It’s that HOPE of possibly working that is an addictive TOXIN. Slacker types never seem to fall for that as they are too lazy, which is a good trait for preserving the heart IMHO. For them if it isn’t working now, then it probably won’t work in the future regardless. I consider relationships to… Read more »

Scorpie
Scorpie

” It’s that HOPE of possibly working that is an addictive TOXIN”

OMG!!! You just nailed it. I’m suffering from the realisation that I’ve been a LZ since 2012!!
I can’t get over how deluded i was. Like, seriously!!!! This Neptune / Saturn busting of illusions is a real punch in the guts. It’s going to take me a while to process it all.

Sapphira
Sapphira

Leo rising here with a v similar situation (with an Aquarius man). You’ve thought extensively through all the options & really what is left now is to let the chips fall & have a strategy independent of him or anyone else; a promise that you’ll do what’s best for you whatever transpires, and a clear understanding of your boundaries/needs in any possible outcome.

So nice to hear a wrap-up sesh of sorts is on its way with the Neptune-Saturn shift.