The Non Drinking Neptunian

Filed in Neptune

The Fferyllt

Hi. My name is Rebecca, and I’m a non-drinking Neptunian*. And while no one had ever referred to me as an alcoholic (at least not to my face!), I certainly had an inkling that something wasn’t right with my relationship with alcohol for a long time. And although I am sure I swore off drinking many times before I starting reading Tarot cards, it was there that I started to understand and there where my journey began.

You see, I couldn’t be an alcoholic. I had spent much of my twenties drinking far more than I should — those were the college years after all — and had retired from that hard-drinking, fast-moving club scene I associated with folks who drank too heavily. I’d moved on to wine tasting, whiskey sampling and book clubs with tasteful appetizers and rotating designated drivers — alcoholics couldn’t be designated drivers, right? I was a responsible drinker now, never having more than a few drinks (except the few times a year I “let loose”), almost always controlling my intake — certainly a wino in the streets didn’t count their drinks!

If you asked anyone who knew me, I was successful at most everything: cooking, cleaning, writing, knitting, hiking, traveling and whatever else I decided to take on that particular month. But if you asked me, I knew something no one else did: I wanted more booze. The only thing that stopped me from drinking to oblivion was the fact that it wasn’t socially acceptable.

But the tarot knew it. Every single time I would pull out my cards to do a Celtic Cross or a more simple spread, Temperance would sit in front of me. And I would curse the card; I hated temperance. I saw it as a synonym for moderation, which for me was simply a cross I had to bear. Why was moderation so easy for some people? Why was it that my husband could leave a beer unfinished while I had to empty the last of the wine bottle because well, you just can’t leave that little amount in there, can you? I didn’t understand those folks that would have one drink, nurse it all night and then leave some of it on the table. I never left a drink unfinished. It simply was not done, and if I’m honest, I often thought of my next drink before the one in my hand was half-finished.

Temperance told me that these behaviors were simply unacceptable. When the card was reversed, all I could see was its own judgement of me. You had too much to drink last night. Why else would you say the things you did? Why else would you be the person you are? Your inability to moderate makes you a failure.

And so, with every turn of the card, I would strengthen my resolve. I would make another rule for myself, and later I would create another loophole.

  • I won’t drink on weeknights. Is Sunday a weeknight really?
  • I will only have two glasses of wine a night. I bought new wine glasses that you could practically empty a bottle into.
  • I wouldn’t drink before dinner. Unless it was a bloody mary. Who has bloody maries in the evening?
  • I abstained for thirty days and liked sobriety, deciding to stick with it, but caved on my birthday. Who stays sober for their birthday?

It was around that birthday that I bought myself a new set of tarot cards. I had been reading from the Rider Waite deck, the first set I owned — a gift. But I needed new cards, I believed, as it was probably one of my greatest joys as a hedgewitch, aside from my healing cooking. A new set caught my eye in an old esoteric bookshop in northern California. Called the Druid Craft Tarot, it incorporated a lot of symbolism that meant more to me and made more sense than the deck I had before. I had been christened a witch by an old Welsh woman, after all. My family name suggested an English history. Why not embrace that side of my past a bit more fully?

As I sat looking through the cards at home (sipping on some wine of course!) I noticed some significant differences in the deck. The Devil was renamed Cernunnos, which I appreciated coming from a very Christian background. The Empress and Emperor were the Lord and the Lady. But most notably was Temperance — it had morphed into The Fferyllt, a druid alchemist who combines fire and water to create balance and transformation. She stands in front of her cauldron with a besom propped against the wall and herbs drying around her. She looked a bit like a hedgewitch. And according to the suggested interpretation, turning this card over in a reading indicated a fluency between worlds, creativity, harmony, peace, alchemy and magic. These words resonated in a way that balance, moderation, patience, purpose, meaning — what I associated with the interpretation of temperance — never did.

After that, I gave my Rider Waite deck to a friend and moved fully into my Druid roots. And The Fferyllt would come up as loyally as Temperance ever did. But to me there was something different about her. I wanted magic. I wanted to find fluency between the worlds. And I desperately wanted peace. These promises were more my style, more in tune with the forest-dwelling, creative and emotional lady I was. Temperance had felt so patriarchal. So stoic. So without reward. So final. Slowly the idea of leaving behind alcohol crept into my mind, and while AA felt stoic and final and patriarchal, I gave it a try. I felt the Fferyllt urging me on.

It dawned on me soon after that maybe the Internet would be a better place to look. Within minutes I found so many women online blogging, talking, learning from each other, sharing magic with each other. What I realized is this: While some of us are able to moderate, to be temperate, that is not the goal. The goal is to find what brings us peace, what helps us create and find harmony within ourselves. The goal is to be our own alchemist, figuring out how much fire and water we ourselves need. Because there is no one-size-fits-all recipe when it comes to alcohol (or firewater, if you’re so inclined).

After three-plus years without it, each year more lucid and beautiful, more magical in ways I cannot describe aptly even as a writer, I realized that my Neptune nature doesn’t need firewater. As much as the world had convinced me that artists must be drunks, as much as I had convinced myself that my best tarot readings came when I was buzzed, these were lies. The truth came from that place inside me where no lie can ever live: I am a non-drinking Neptunian and an alchemist of my soul.

Rebecca – the Non Drinking Neptunian is a Mystic Medusa subscriber & clearly a gifted alchemist-scribe. You can read her awesome blog here.


* Neptune people (Pisces + Neptune influences strong in their astral) are classically more likely to seek transcendence in both spiritual and not-so-spiritual outlets. It’s explored more here.  And yes, depending on where/how it falls in your Tarot, Temperance often means it is time to give something damaging or draining up. To gain the simple peace of more moderate living. Pay attention to repeat cards!

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Bottom Image: Gertrude Abercrombie

 

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Michael Howell
Michael Howell

Wow, thank you so much for sharing your experiences <3 I, myself, am a devoted Neptunian spirit at a distance from all experience-altering substances.

Girl
Girl

Thanks Rebecca – so resonant. I too am a writer, super-neptunian and ran out of moderation strategies in September last year. I always believed wine was my ‘magic juice’ – despite Mystic actually doing a reading for me and telling me point blank to be careful of it due to a Neptune/moon thing. But it wasn’t magic. It was the ‘other’ thing. Anyway, stone cold sober since October 1 last year and on my fourth re-write of my first novel as a result. So congrats on 3 years. Seriously. I still find myself lured by the false poetry it offers… Read more »

Raw
Raw

Wow that is awesome you quit and are doing so much writing. Nice! Work it girl! Sober writers can be good writers too 🙂

Girl
Girl

Thanks honey. Yes I gave it a lot of thought (my writing has, according to editor, gotten better, not worse since getting sober), and I am pretty sure that it is not that alcohol is necessary for writing well – it is just that to write a novel you have to be a bit obsessive. As a writer you definitely are. No sane person tries that shit at home. And that tends to lend itself to being obsessive in all areas of life. But I figure, Stephen King is sober. He does okay… Thanks so much for the support xx

Corrina
Corrina

Think of it like this … drugs and alcohol provide a photocopy of what true connection to spirit is like. It’s a facsimile. And if you got nothing else of course you’re going to be drawn to it because spirit is yearning for some kind of connection and freedom from these earthly bonds.

Spiritual connection sans drugs/alcohol is hard work. Feeling feelings. Being humble. Swallowing pride. Setting ego aside for the greater good.

It can be quite overwhelming …

Girl
Girl

Thanks – yes, it is the wandering through life with no anaesthesia that is the most terrifying! But I once you get used to the discomfort it yields all sorts of results. And clarity. I do find I am less sentimental in my writing though…however as the genre is psychological thriller I am not sure that is a prob. Do you write? xx

Terresa Jones
Terresa Jones

I have Sun, Mercury and South Node in Pisces and I beg to differ with the view that Piscean/Neptunian people are inclined to substance abuse and alcohol. I have never smoked in my life and am allergic to smoke and can’t stand it when people near me smoke and think it’s okay to do so. I have never been attracted to alcohol, apart from a little bit of drinking while at University (the non-neptunians I knew, were drinking like fish and smoking whatever they could find, also sleeping with whoever they could find). I have not touched alcohol in 4… Read more »

Magenta
Magenta

Are you inside my head, my heart? Piscean Neptunian cocktail over here…too partial to the firewater. I, too, have been mulling this relationship over and conclude over and over that it’s time to stop. Even found a message I wrote to someone YEARS ago the other day that simply stated “I’m going to stop drinking again. Alcohol makes me crazy.” I’ve taken many a hiatus but the hunger never ends. I have the unfortunate talent of also being able to handle my liquor very well, strange for such a small person. But it sneaks around inside you when you’re not… Read more »

Raw
Raw

I know that ability to handle liquor well. Most people had NO idea how drunk I was until they paid very close attention to me. At least that is what I told myself. Ha! Who knows if that was true. Anyhow, hang in there! The first 30 days can be tough at times but you”re through the worst. And seek out other people who know what you”re going through. It will help. Blogs, AA, online communities, whatever. It will help. HUGS!

sphinx
sphinx

This is SO great! Fun to read and I recognise myself in all those excuses atm as I bought a pack of cigarettes to smoke just ONE at the funeral of a loved one recently… but darn if there isn’t a good drama every other day that makes it an idea to take one more from that packet. Thanks for this.

Raw
Raw

Uggghh smoking is SO hard to quit! I felt like it was harder for me than quitting drinking. My heart is with you <3

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

Major respect to you darling. Only YOU know what is best and appropriate for you.

esw
esw

I have a feeling this is a post I will come back to time and time again. Thank you for sharing! Glad you found your peace.

Alouetta
Alouetta

I love that image. And you’re right- the concentration on her face – what she’s doing seems more specific and fine tuned than Temperance with her smug sloshing between cups. Like it’s ever that simple.

flowerchild
flowerchild

Wow, wow, WOW! This beautiful writing and the timeliness of it as well…. This topic has really been UP for me recently! Me: Natal Pisces Moon being transited by Neptune. Natal Mars/MC, Chiron (and Bacchus!) in Pisces too… Natal Neptune in Scorp in the 5th exact trine natal Chiron.. About to have my Chiron return…in Pisces….and so forth…. Thank you, Rebecca, you are an angel messenger —at least for me right now, so please know that through your own transformation and healing, you are helping others. Thank you for this gift! I’ve been observing and evaluating my relationship with alcohol… Read more »

Electro
Electro

Yes! I love Dr. Gabor Mate. He is so soothing to listen to, he totally gets it. I understand that alcoholism can be genetic but at the same time it’s disturbing how many coping mechanisms we need as a society just to get by.

Peace to you too! xx

Raw
Raw

I think you hit the nail on the head when you talk about compassion. It starts with being nice to yourself. I am glad my post resonated so much with you. I hope you can find a way to have a better relationship with yourself and with alcohol. And check out my blog if you want. There are tons of resources on there and I list other bloggers as well who have some really great ideas. (http://www.sunnysanguinity.com/resources/)

Even if you’re not up to quitting, it”s good to know you are not alone. HUGS my dear!

kriblack
kriblack

Loved everything about this post. Moving, relatable, inspirational. Thanks for sharing!

Saturnine
Saturnine

Thanks for sharing your story with us, Rebecca. I think it illustrates perfectly what have I come to think Saturn square Neptune and Jupiter in Virgo are about: some harsh bubble-bursting, yes, but also letting go of controlling ways/asceticism/hollier-than-thou ideals that only promote further compulsion. And much as being apollonian admirable, becoming comfortable with our dionysian ways and working their flows fundamental, I think. Glad to see one more person being successful at it. Peaceful and functional is the way to go! 🙂 (maybe this comes across as too much “acknowledge you shadow and hold hands with it” but can’t… Read more »

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

Yes thank you I completely concur; being sanctimonious is not working with the energy that is there; transmuting this neptunian vibe is also a beautiful opportunity, as one health practitioner helped me…people can actually extend, move their life forward safely and healthily through this.

Scorpio_Rising
Scorpio_Rising

I’m heavily influenced by Neptune and Pluto, if I imbibe I chose my drink wisely and only at social (happy) events. I do not drink when I’m sad, mad or depressed. I stop right at that happy bubbly vibe and let it slide away with no instant hangover. I finally found my happy medium. If I drink too heavily my dark Plutonian qualities start to dwell on dark topics esp past midnight. I’m just not ok with dwelling in a drunken trance on depressing topics anymore. The booze makes everything seem much more fatal and final. cheers to you on… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman

I thought back to those crazy days and l can now see how Nep lead me there and Pluto dug me deeper into the abyss.
And having a strong Moonyloony/Uranity craziness, well, it along for the ride.

Raw
Raw

Thank you! I think you are very right about choosing your times to drink wisely. There are definitely ways to understand how your mind and body react to different chemicals. And we are all so different — what works for one won”t do anything for the other.

LilithLove
LilithLove

Thank you! This was incredibly resonate.

Jokerman
Jokerman

I hope l am not going too Neptunian Plutocrat with my new Plutonian Neptunite. But there is a lot of confluence between crabs , scorps n fisces.
Spose l will go wth the flow.

maryround
maryround

Wonderful post, thanks for sharing.!

scorpiodawn
scorpiodawn

omg im having my antares return! sorry, theres nowhere else to say this!
do feel like bingeing out on alcohol sometimes…although i stayed sober last saturday night AT the pub.
not easy when u have jupiter-pan.

Annica
Annica

Also that picture on the bottom makes me giggle a little. I feel like that owl is going to fly over head and convoluted with her dress edge and end up giving her a wedgie. Or worse, the dress will act like a cartoon spring bouncing her back towards the owl!

Jokerman
Jokerman

No, that is a wise owl.
Because it is being trained!!!

Electro
Electro

Great post. Being our own alchemist… I dig it.

I have severe issues with conformity and the constant barrage of symbols and corporate myths that have become gospel. They are completely damaging our collective abilities to find and be those inner realities. My Neptune downfall is escaping within myself, zoning out emotionally and otherwise in order to protect myself. It felt safe but at the same time I was actualizing absolutely nothing and just feeling rotten and sad. So glad to be coming out of that hole.

Raw
Raw

Oh man I totally get that escaping within yourself. Hang in there and find something that works for you — some sort of “constructive” escape?

Annica
Annica

I’m a fair amount Neptunian myself but I have never been into alcohol although my family history is littered with alcoholism. I have the gene for it even but it didnt manifest that way. Possibly because my sister and i started drinking at 10, watered down wine at dinners and always had safe access at home. It seemed boring and uninteresting. It is always what is locked away and rare that attracts. So i have found myself in weird addictive eating cycles and bad relationships instead. Just as destructive as alcohol but not a lot of sympathy for it. But… Read more »

deepwater
deepwater

Sing it sister.
I’m a substance free sun neptune midheaven conjunction in scorpio. I have always wanted to kiss the feet of God. What a blessing to be able to develop a practice for doing just that beyond the veil of drugs and alcohol. Yes I needed a fellowship to do it, but my heart has grown and I can hold so much love now. Thanks for your lovely post.

vikingwoman
vikingwoman

Me too..18 Scorpio Neptune close to but out of orb of MC. Had a very successful drinking career and then retired..wish I had the 401K to go with that lol. Since getting sober I’m so much more sensitive in every way. Feelings (sensory, emotion, tactile) became far more magnified (the sex is I’m really really amazing now). Had I known just how much better life is sober I would never had a first drink. Oddly the dreams came back and the richness of feeling and imagination grew stronger. Here might be my lesson for Saturn square Neptune and Neprune conjunct… Read more »

Raw
Raw

I wonder if I would have never taken a drink if I knew now what I didn’t know then…it is so hard to say because I really value all these lessons I learned and I feel like it helps me be more empathetic. On the other hand, GOOD LORD the bad decisions!!! And the terrible relationships. And it certainly wasn’t easy to quit. That is a tough question …

vikingwoman
vikingwoman

Thw gift of being a drunk for me is that I learned to be bold and become a little wild. My parents were so oppressive I needed to redefine myself and become more assertive. Alcohol helped me learn how to let loose and have fun. Sobriety was the test of keeping that assertiveness whilst still clean and I’m much more comfortable with my authority now.

Raw
Raw

Oh man deepwater, “I have always wanted to kiss the feet of God”. You hit the nail on the head there. The amount of love you can hold without substances is unbelievable and so freeing.

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus

Fab story – so glad you have reached a place of peace with Neptune! <3 I love Temperance – always have. So much so that as a young artiste I replicated the RWS version of it outside my bedroom door; a sigil of sorts. I chuckled heartily at the speculation of what the new homeowners must have thought upon seeing it after I moved out – it probably freaked them out! There be a witch! 😉 I know this is a card of Sagittarius, but what could possibly be more Libran than its theme of moderation? There is some debate… Read more »

Raw
Raw

Thanks for the kind words 🙂 I have been thinking about that for a long time actually, how my creativity has changed. Since I quit, I have written and published a book, blogged more regularly and defnitely had insane dreams that I can actually remember AND even participated in (lucid dreaming FTW!) I also have a piano now and play a bit more music since i have the ability 🙂 And the intuitive part of me has become much more integrated into every part of my life, which I enjoy. The weird/annoying/different part about all of that is it comes… Read more »

Starlush
Starlush

Beautifully written and so true! As a Neptune rising I notice my need for transcendence in everyday life. I seek through my practice. Practice is what it is…. Practice.

Raw
Raw

Thank you. And exactly: practice makes better as my piano teacher used to say 🙂

The Venus Fly
The Venus Fly

A lot of Irish/Druid energy floating this way. Went to the library the other day just before closing time and wanted to borrow a book on Celtic goddess history but the book was not in the system. The librarian walked away with a book than turned around and handed it to me saying “If it comes back, cool. If not, cool.” As far as the Tarot all these friggin’ Ace and Two of Cups, and 9 of Cups and Pentacles and tonnes and tonnes of Wand/Pentacle/Cups Kings. In every reading. Lots of money money money and rich rich rich and… Read more »

PhoenixWolf
PhoenixWolf

“It dawned on me soon after that maybe the Internet would be a better place to look. Within minutes I found so many women online blogging, talking, learning from each other, sharing magic with each other. What I realized is this: While some of us are able to moderate, to be temperate, that is not the goal. The goal is to find what brings us peace, what helps us create and find harmony within ourselves. The goal is to be our own alchemist, figuring out how much fire and water we ourselves need. Because there is no one-size-fits-all recipe when… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman

I have never been addicted to anything other than dope, acid, psyloscibin, alcohol, music, girls (from when l was age 6-18), speeding, sliding and flying cars and bikes, jumping of buildings / cliffs, kleptomania, brawling, comedy, women (from when l was/will be ages 19-126), history, languages great stories.
I think Pluto and Uran assisted Neptune a lot

I’d rather watch the butterfly flutter by
Than watch the dragonfly drink the flagon dry

Electro
Electro

Do you see your Icarus in there? Didn’t want to call you out in the last post but that’s the stuff I was referring to.

Jokerman
Jokerman

Yes and Icarus only 1°30′ off my Neptune dominator. I am starting quite a 4H Scorp Stelleroidium. To go with my 2H Virgo Quarry.

“How Sweet it is to be an Idiot…” (@ M Python Parody of J Lennon song)

Electro
Electro

Neptune + Icarus = no limits

I’m at the other end of the spectrum with mine. An innie, not an outie, haha.

Icarus 10’54, Moon 12’32, and Neptune 13’36.

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

Wel – please tell what do you think is icarus conjunct sun, asteroids vesta and scherezade 6th?? All about 19-20 degrees…Oh and widely square to neptune at 27 degrees scorpio 3rd…

hdq
hdq

Gorgeous post. Thank you and congratulations, Rebecca! This is no small task that you’ve accomplished. I didn’t comment on the full moon post because it was both too raw and an ongoing situation that I’ve talked about many times (or at least it feels that way). I guess I have to now. So, my fiancé is Neptune rising, 12/13 Saggi, and 26 Sagg sun. 22 Scorp NN and 25 Gemini moon getting Mars and Chironed too for good measure. Anyway, he is an alcoholic but has been in recovery for most of our year together. Until two weeks ago. When… Read more »

Pi
Pi

Holy shit, dudette. That is intense. Sorry to hear this.

skarab
skarab

That is just so intense, hdq. And holy shit, that is some personal astro shitstorm! This is horrible for him and heart wrenching for the loved ones looking on. So sorry to hear this, hon. Big hugs & stay strong.xx

hdq
hdq

Thanks, lovelies. It has indeed been intense. Hugs gladly accepted and returned. Xxxxxxx

Lucy
Lucy

Hi, have you tried naltrexone? I feel it’s the only way to save him. It will stop the binges cold and then you can work on the other stuff. I have very very strong history with this.

hdq
hdq

He was on a couple of meds to disallow consumption. I’m pretty sure that was one of them. They were working until he stopped taking them. 🙁

fallenangel
fallenangel

Hugs hdq, it’s so wrenching to watch our loved ones suffer, and more so at their own hands. This seems the personification of what MM has been writing about, and I can only hope that you may let him go with healing for both of you.

hdq
hdq

It has been illuminating, that’s for sure. Patterns, mirrors,all kinds of uncomfortable stuff. A lot of healing work to do, yes. Xxx

Scorpio_Rising
Scorpio_Rising

hugs to you. I went through this with a friend. I had to walk away he was hellbent on killing himself, suicidal, addicted to booze and drugs.
His sponsor and friends said the same. They step back when he goes on his benders. 🙁

hdq
hdq

God, ‘bender’ is a word I’ve never really thought about before. Such an innocuous term for such a shitstorm of torment. Hugs to you too, and I’m sorry about your friend. Xxxx

Electro
Electro

Hugs, HDQ. That is a heavy load. xx

hdq
hdq

Thanks, E xxxxx

Annica
Annica

Yes, sending hugs! How terrible!

hdq
hdq

Xxxxxxx

Jokerman
Jokerman

That is Scheissenfest 2016. That’d be emotionally draining. Sheesh.

hdq
hdq

Yes, the bands are terrible, the weather is unbearable, and the drugs are making people crazy and not in a fun way. Who organized this festival and why did I buy a ticket?!? Sheesh indeed.

flowerchild
flowerchild

Oh man, hdq! My heart goes out to you!

I went through a similar situation with a bf about 15 years ago and it is absolutely heartbreaking!

I hope you are taking care of YOU, too, during this time, and I hope he gets the help he needs. xx

hdq
hdq

I’ve been wallowing hard, isolating and eating everything in sight. I think I’m turning a corner though, and I’ll write as soon as i do! Xxxxx

Alouetta
Alouetta

That is awful. Does he have family that could help? I hope you are getting the support you need too. It sounds absolutely heartbreaking.

hdq
hdq

Nope, they’re on the other side of the country. Disconnection is a big part of this. :'(

Invicta
Invicta

Love and hugs to you HDQ
xoxo

hdq
hdq

Thank you dahling xox

vikingwoman
vikingwoman

I’m in recovery too (8 years) and I work one on one with a drug counselor who is a retired probation officer. Sponsors can’t always cut it. Counselors cut the religious stuff and can be compassionate toughies. My heart goes after you and to your loved one…we alkies pray for those who relapse (happens to anyone no judgments here its part of the process for some). I ache for both of you. Patience love hope and faith that your friend gets the medical help he needs and you get support as well. Hugs +1 million to you both.

hdq
hdq

Thank you so much! A million + hugs is soooooooo appreciated. As an ex-addict myself, I thought I understood it, but alcohol is on an entirely different level.I gave him an ultimatum. Patience, love, hope, and faith from me, accountability from him.
Million hugs back atcha! Xxxx

Methinky
Methinky

I’m sorry – this sounds really, really painful. I am sending additional healing love vibes in the hope they might help to help you through xx

hdq
hdq

Thank you Xxx

Raw
Raw

Oh man, I am so sorry to hear that. Letting him go is probably the best for you, but easier said than done sometimes. Hang in there. You deserve your best, not his worst. Addicts are a total drain.

hdq
hdq

True all of that. Thanks 🙂

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

I just don’t know how you can stomach the pain yourself…and I’m studying post grad to be a therapist (?), so I will hope that all your strength will endure, keep you strong – but your partner, how will he find strength? I hope to God you can both get through it… It would be to much for me…I’d have to get out, as it is my partner is off to see a sex therapist for addiction issues (pas abuse), and I cannot take the lies, clandestine nature or double life…so self destructive. And we are parents too…I just wonder… Read more »

Pi
Pi

I like the way you finally found a ‘way in’ to a different way of things that felt right. This is why I am repelled by didactic, evangelistic, pick whatever word you want that means ‘my way is best’. Temperance does sound a little… Protestant doesn’t it. I don’t have quite the same visceral reaction to that card but I do respond that way to others. Probably becasu I feel confused and frustrated by what they are trying to say: we’re not speaking the same language (clear communication is everything). There is an Italian card designer who made a set… Read more »

Pi
Pi

Being a Pisces mercury I have to edit: clear, *empathic* communication is everything. When it comes to such matters .

Raw
Raw

I feel exactly the same. Being clear about things is so important, and yet so difficult!

P.S. Who is the Italian card designer? I just a Salvador Dali set that is awesome, but I love looking at different interpretations.

Corrina
Corrina

Hi Rebecca I strongly relate to your story and the well thought out description of what it’s like to be a person who, regardless of what strategy used, is unable to maintain moderation when it comes to consumption of a particular substance. For some people it’s alcohol. For some people it’s pot. For others it’s the opiods. For others it’s the amphetamines. For some people it’s all of the above. What I’m hearing you say is that the pull is too strong. Something “alchemical” does occur within the effect of the particular substance consumed. Its effect is so compelling, one… Read more »

Raw
Raw

Hey prowlncrab– thank you for the kind words and I am super impressed with your 10 years. Nicely done. I agree with you that spirituality is probably the most important thing to me, and a constant dialogue with my guidance is what keeps me from floating off this earth 🙂

Corrina
Corrina

Well whilst this earth is beautiful … human society can be pretty shit. The desire to want to float away from insanity seems quite sane?

And yet we’re here for a purpose. To not get drawn into the darkness. To be part of the light.

Tough call sometimes.

Mystic Medusa
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