Mystic & Friends,
I offer this story to you under the dark delectation of the the Scorpio Full Moon, bringer and fulfiller of the unholy blood seeds that light up consciousness. These seeds have bloomed in me over the last 7 years, and they have a sweet and redolent blossom for you tonight.
It is the story of how I lost my life and my soul, and regained it for myself with a lot of help from Pluto.
I am bi-stellium, my chart with its two straining points of focus straddling the uncompromising need for mastery enflamed in Scorpio, and the unrelenting call to communicate what I see… which is dark, rich and fruitful…. through the Twins.
I float like a butterfly and baby, I sting like a bee.
This was my downfall and my salvation on the battlefields of the darkest part of Eurasia, in Afghanistan where I ferreted out dark places of fascination for my Army masters.
I connected thought leaders, Prime Ministers, Donald Rumsfeld (ahem) with the real-time battle as it was being fought.
Yes, I was a combat circus master, combining a fascinated audience of senior military and the diplomatic corps with the real-time battles they crave and “needed” to observe.
I told myself that, anyway.
I was a live battlefield tour guide.
Yes, it is a real Army posting.
It didn’t end any wars, my flawless execution of battle-field tourism (delivered ripe with self-justification that the war was helping anything).
Instead, it stole my soul away down dark paths into the dark chamber of Pluto. Here, I met my soul-unmaker, Hades, Lord of the Underworld.
WHAT IS BATTLEFIELD TOURISM?
This is a term that is, you understand, strictly used among us tour guides. Generals and Presidents don’t like to think of themselves as “tourists,” natch.
When a General or Prime Minister or United Nation Observer mission needs to, well, observe an ongoing war, they call me.
I am a trained military officer (a Communications and Electronics officer, yet… hail Mercury.)
I am also trained as a cosmic dark events manager for the most lurid of all VIPS, military and government leaders who need to observe a war, live. (Hail Pluto).
Is my work gory, prurient, disturbing and yet necessary?
Oh, my, yes.
I learned very well in the Forces that until your boots are on the ground, you don’t know nuthin’ about a situation.
Wise leaders know this too.
Wise leaders contacted my boss.
They asked for a 7-day itinerary in the land of mines and mortars, where they could really observe.
Baby, in allegiance with Pluto and Mercury, I deliver.
A “FUN” LIST FOR THE APOCALYPSE
What should you bring on your combat tourist visit to Afghanistan??
- You should not bring wine. We will confiscate it (or you will offend every village elder we’ve managed to win over.)
- Bring a scarf — like the hipster khaki schemagh you got in Venice Beach, CA.
Or else the sandstorms here will scour your skin raw.
- The sand and sun will also blind you, so, also bring ski goggles, orange tinted is best. Do not buy Combat Oakleys – that is trying too hard.
And you will lose them when the tracer fire lights up the sky over your head and you dive into the nearest ditch, with your Close Protection Special Force bodyguard on top of you.
- Bring a Close Protection Special Force bodyguard with superior comms technology (satellite phone is expensive, but best.) CPSF’s are also expensive. If you can’t afford one, though, don’t come. (Likely your government will foot the bill).
Why can’t I protect you?
I can and have de-escalated international conflicts using gestures.
Don’t. Like. It.
- Bring headphones: you can pop them in during the nosedive the plane will take on its combat landing into Kandahar Airfield Base so we don’t get shot down by missiles.
This will also reduce shock to your tympanum and if you are listening to something energetic it will turn your knicker-pissing adrenaline rush into pure energy when you hit the ground on what looks like the moon.
Also, you will need this energy when you are carrying 65lbs of life support or your bleeding comrade back into the helicopter.
- No, it isn’t nice being a combat tour guide. It is exciting, though.
We get shot at along with you.
.. unlike villagers in the Pashtu tribal regions of Pakistan and Afghanistan who have recently taken to smoking dead scorpions to get even a highly painful and brief high, when it comes to this land of 600+ years of constant invasion, rape, slaughter, and war…
We do get to go home.
Uriel Gray is a transgender shamanic practitioner who works globally via Skype call; he finds the intimacy of the global long-distance line to be akin to a confession booth.