Honesty In Dating Profiles: Scorpio

Miles Aldridge

Dating A Scorpio? You may enjoy this Honesty In Dating Profile. Read on for what they’re unlikely to tell you straight up.

Favorite Quote: “If you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss gazes into you.”  Nietzche.  

Likes:  Not having to answer stupid questions. What is “like.”?

Dislikes:  Taxidermy in restaurants. Human rights atrocities. Unscheduled explosions. Being attacked. Weddings when they’ve been living together for a thousand years. Ragged fingernails with hangnails. Illegal elections. That Pinochet got away with it. How society calls people who volunteer to be ‘carers’ for intellectually handicapped adults with the mental age of children saints when they might be exploitative. People making more than one call in a row to “get hold of me” if it is not an emergency. Air conditioning. Botox that collapses one brow but they say it is fine.

Seeking:  “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”  That’s Rumi, and if you don’t get it, you’re blocked.

My Ideal Partner:  It was Autumn, I got him off Adult Friend Finder by mistake, and he was about to embark on a tour of duty in (classified location). He had an Eye of Horus tattoo. We joked about it either protecting him or making him more of a target. He said at the end that he did not want to go, but I could tell from the glint in his eyes and that jut in his jaw that he did.  I was never notified, obviously, of his passing eight weeks later but he appeared briefly in my bedroom that night, his libido having apparently survived the impact of the chopper, the crossing into Valhalla or whatever it is. It took five days for an insultingly banal obit to appear in his local rag. Sometimes I let myself drift into a reverie that him appearing in my bedroom was more than just ghostly lust…that we had a thing.

Our Ideal Date Together Would Be:  Why? Do you need an alibi?

Dating A Scorpio is a unique and enriching experience, but although the above is humor, you may find some truth in it.

Image: Miles Aldridge

0 0 vote
Article Rating
Share this:

You might be interested in

Access Horoscopes, Insta-Tarot, Oracle & more

Join the thousands of happy Mega Mystic members, who are enjoying Mystic’s unique, modern and empowering take on the ancient art of horoscopes & all things Astrology. With an all-access membership

guest
89 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Pegasus
MM Member
Pegasus
March 16, 2016 5:40 pm

It’s Scorpio’s loyalty that i love and that they are never gossips. They also seem to have genetic or ancient memories.Like a deep intrisic natural knowledge.
Don’t brag a lot either when they would be quite entitled to.
(From one bought up by a Scorp mother). I mean trained by 🙂

Sam
Sam
March 16, 2016 6:02 pm
Reply to  Pegasus

yes this is what I like about scorpios too. Mature / haute scorps have an excellent sense of discretion and their insta-perception certainly takes the burden off me having to attempt to make things clear to them, they can largely see what’s going on, give or take.

Pegasus
MM Member
Pegasus
March 16, 2016 5:36 pm

Sadly no Scorps in my life ‘cept for cyber mates here.
Do love a Scorpio in my life, so wonder where they all are. From a person who has many Virgos around them that must be because of all the bonking on New Year’s Eve. OR the Aries ‘daughter’ is ruling at the moment with her wanting most of my time and edits who gets close to me, little Rottweiller that she is :-).
Truly since Monday’s shift of energy, i’m feeling quite glorious after last week’s hideousity.

Invicta
Invicta
March 16, 2016 7:56 am

Ha
This is funny and sort of brilliant.
I feel like the bitch in the photo.
Oh, phhh
yeah, it IS feeling increasingly difficult to cope with any kind of fakery as the eclipse draws near, isn’t it?
it could be the Sound Node thing or my being in therapy. Chicken and egg?
That butterfly situation sounds surreal. Intense.

Sam
Sam
March 16, 2016 5:59 pm
Reply to  Invicta

therapy is manifestation of south node activity perhaps 🙂
X
yes
i thrive on uncertainty these days. sitting with the indeterminate nature of things sans fear and with more clarity than ever. decisions when they are required and not calling anything too soon. Mutability is a skill not just a trait 😀 [like the others i suppose]

Unicorn Sparkles
Unicorn Sparkles
March 16, 2016 7:02 am

been reading about our of body experiences / near death stuff today. Must be the vibe

Star Ninja
MM Member
Star Ninja
March 16, 2016 5:52 am

Ha! My (sort of) ex is a Scorp and I could totally hear his voice saying this with a gender/situation twist! He’d be the one going off on assignment to some far off locale and stalking his last conquest from the beyond before passing on!

Star Ninja
Star Ninja
March 16, 2016 5:44 am

Ha! My (sort of) ex is a Scorp w/Leo rising and I totally could hear his voice writing this with a pronoun and situation twist! He’d be the one going off on assignment and stalking his last conquest before passing on!

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux
March 16, 2016 2:14 am

haha can I nick this for my next foray into on line dating? hahaha

skarab
skarab
March 16, 2016 1:38 am

There is something strange going on.

supakali
supakali
March 16, 2016 2:19 am
Reply to  skarab

what is it skarab?

skarab
skarab
March 16, 2016 7:29 am
Reply to  supakali

All’s good now, supakali. I’d left my shell in bed…And Nietzsche, hangnails and ghost-bonking before coffee…well, i guess i wasn’t prepared. Not to mention that for my electric heroin fix before bed, i’d watched a truly bad, post-botox Meg Ryan flick … so i’d thought i had slipped into the abyss…..(*slugs back tequila*) …all’s good now.
Thanks Mystic.

Jokerman
Jokerman
March 16, 2016 8:37 am
Reply to  skarab

What was her excuse before botox.
And what is it with botox? I mean R Zellweger, etc

skarab
skarab
March 16, 2016 8:49 am
Reply to  Jokerman

In answer to both questions: fuqed if i know.
Only watched film coz Antonio Banderas was in it….(in defence)

Sam
Sam
March 16, 2016 5:54 pm
Reply to  skarab

oh! post botox meg ryan is distressing. she is so beautiful and expressive. why !!!!!!! I want to see how these vivacious women progress in their lives and not … exist in some kind of visual stasis. is it that bad??? looking older than 45????? must every single one of these wealthy, talented, spirited women buckle under the aesthetic hazing that is hollywood acceptance?? there is more to film stardom than the sorority of Delta-Epsilon-Alpha-Delta

you know

Skarab
MM Member
Skarab
March 17, 2016 1:20 am
Reply to  Sam

What’s so sad is that after she destroyed her face in an effort to look younger – to get more work – they didn’t hire her anymore, because she looked so awful. The temptation and pressure must be so enormous – as much from your own fragile ego – as from the Hollywood machine. Also, you’re not really aware of how much ageism is so ingrained in the culture, until you get to a certain age, when all of a sudden you do start to take notice of the vile ageist comments and descriptions of the more mature woman in… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman
March 17, 2016 2:01 am
Reply to  Skarab

I thought she was beautiful. Despite the fact she was a blonde. (I’m not sorry, l like brown haired women).

But she has done damage just like Renee Zellwegger. And she is (was???) a Taurus

I don’t get it.

As for men? I dunno. (How do you explain Paul Hogan and Kenny Rogers then?). As long as l am clean and don’t smell, l’m happy.

Skarab
MM Member
Skarab
March 17, 2016 3:17 am
Reply to  Jokerman

Men are just as susceptible to the youth industry – but you can hardly even compare the pressure that women have been/are put under. Though that is changing too – there’s far too much money to be made in exploiting the male of the species as well. It’s all about money in the end – and the boys in suits know that there’s an endless supply they can mine from people’s fears and insecurities – which they continually instil via advertising, media, films etc. It’s a continual drip feed of ego-corroding poison. (…..my, this is turning out to be quite… Read more »

davidl
MM Member
davidl
March 15, 2016 11:47 pm

I like the photo, great dress, nice body.. Anyway here goes my reply … Dear Scorp, how long have you had the barbituates addiction ? Did someone do you wrong ? Everyone did ? Yeah, I hear ya. Me too. We should get together sometime over a couple of vodkas and watch some vids ? My lawyer reckons that I’ll be released any time now, so let’s make it soon. By the way have you heard of a guy called Jesus ? Man, he was so cool, come back to me with your email addy and I’ll send you a… Read more »

Jokerman
Jokerman
March 16, 2016 1:08 am
Reply to  davidl

Have we come here to drink?

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
March 16, 2016 5:19 am
Reply to  Jokerman

Well, yeah (Piscean w Scorpio 12th house raises hand).

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 16, 2016 6:05 am
Reply to  Jokerman

*raises unbotox’d eyebrow* Less talking, more drinking.

Jokerman
Jokerman
March 16, 2016 6:20 am
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

How do raise a botoxd eyebrow?

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 16, 2016 6:32 am
Reply to  Jokerman

They just are raised already, I guess. ? A state of permanent shock. Like, omg I will never die see?! Sad.

Jokerman
Jokerman
March 16, 2016 6:42 am
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

Kenny Rogers. Birthday surprise everyday of his life

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 16, 2016 6:49 am
Reply to  Jokerman

LOL

Sam
Sam
March 16, 2016 5:49 pm
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

botox brow has a kind of Klingon thing. not the ridges but the perma-fixed look between the brows. it’s pretty easy to spot after a while. deadface stare kind of thing. maybe it’s a better alternative than the fate-worse-than-death-wrinkles in this death-and change-averse era we live in. who knows, maybe i’ll do it myself one day

if i may twist the following…

“the less things change, the more they stay the same”

Jokerman
Jokerman
March 17, 2016 2:10 am
Reply to  Sam

“He just smoked my eyelids,
And punched my cigarettes”

cynthia
MM Member
cynthia
March 15, 2016 10:42 pm

Yes I get that guy drifting from the other side into your room that night. You did/do have a thing and you are one of those on earth who can mediate to him where he is now – like on the other side. It could be terribly disorienting for him to have passed so suddenly and to know where he is now. You can help him.

Annica
Annica
March 15, 2016 8:59 pm

So lemme get this straight… Scorpio likes botox unless it collapses one brow that people say is fine? Or scorpio doesn’t like botox?

Annica
Annica
March 15, 2016 9:04 pm
Reply to  Annica

Ok i had to google scorpios and botox connection.
I found this: http://www.horoscope.com/us/editorial/editorial-news.aspx?UniqueID=1940&CRC=6CA1F51D1E5D10F8E8542DE8A11A9AEA&Action=Next&UniqueID_Bis=1456849889

Who would have thought scorpios liked botox, but seems it is a thing..

sphinx
MM Member
sphinx
March 15, 2016 9:25 pm
Reply to  Annica

Extreme surgery and phoenixing seem Scorpio traits! So are they saying Scorpios shouldn’t go plastic fantastic – it’s not in their stars?

annica
annica
March 16, 2016 7:57 am
Reply to  sphinx

Welp Mars, a Scorp c0-ruler, does rule surgery too so it makes sense, but for some reason I thought plastic surgery would be more done by Librans or Leos. But come to think of it, among non-celebs I know in real life, all were Scorps except one lone Capricorn.

Jokerman
Jokerman
March 16, 2016 8:39 am
Reply to  annica

You don’t speal very Astrayan do you? Its pronounced slebs…..ok

Electro
MM Member
Electro
March 15, 2016 8:37 pm

That stare, tho. Gotta Scorpy best friend who can stare just like that. Death stare plus slight pout.

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 16, 2016 6:12 am
Reply to  Electro

That’s the one. Default Scorpio bitch face. It’s in our genes.

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 16, 2016 6:14 am
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

Capricorns get bone structure, we get that face.

Electro
MM Member
Electro
March 16, 2016 11:04 am
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

I’m Scorpio rising and I’m pretty sure I can’t make quite the same stare.

sphinx
MM Member
sphinx
March 15, 2016 8:09 pm

Oh wow, an Asrological play would be serious magic! And it is really how the stage evolved – from ritual & comedy combined, no?

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 15, 2016 7:52 pm

Umm… No.

sphinx
MM Member
sphinx
March 15, 2016 8:13 pm
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

Lol, I am not a Scorp Sun so I can’t really verify, but my gentle, elegant Sun/Merc/Venus isn’t in this exotic profile either. But still funny.. 😉

sphinx
MM Member
sphinx
March 15, 2016 8:14 pm
Reply to  sphinx

Gentle elegant “mother” that is!

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 15, 2016 8:36 pm
Reply to  sphinx

My Scorp/8th house Sun-Venus, Mars, Uranus-Mercury– & Pluto-Moon in 7th Libra, says No.
The pic resonates, tho 😉

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
March 16, 2016 5:15 am
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

It’s ALLLLL about the image.. Just that as smouldering profile picture is tremendously Scorpio.

The words are a lunge-parry-riposte to the idea of summoning up a brief worded profile to the complex submarine depths of Scorpio woman.

Umm…did you want to add: Likes long walks on the beach…?

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 16, 2016 5:40 am
Reply to  milleunanotte

Ha yes.

Likes to cuddle by the fire– of burning bridges.

sphinx
MM Member
sphinx
March 16, 2016 3:11 pm
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

I want to do this.

Iris Aquacat
MM Member
Iris Aquacat
March 18, 2016 7:33 pm
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

HA HA HA! Perfect, 🙂

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 16, 2016 6:25 am
Reply to  milleunanotte

Likes to take long walks. Along the scene of the crime.
😛

Invicta
MM Member
Invicta
March 16, 2016 1:09 pm
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

Ha

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
March 17, 2016 3:14 am
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

You are hilarious! Thank you – i need the sweet black humour today 🙂 Kisses and hugs, Ankh. May the Scorp Phoenix rise xxx

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 15, 2016 8:59 pm
Reply to  Mystic

No, I’m sorry. My sense of humor has evaporated, I should have refrained from commenting. Carry on ye merry way, nothing to see here.

sphinx
MM Member
sphinx
March 15, 2016 9:28 pm
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

Since Saturn in Scorpio my sense of humour has been eclipsed too, some would argue I didn’t have one to lose (moon in Scorpio problems).

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 15, 2016 9:37 pm
Reply to  sphinx

Lol! Ok that made me laugh, Sphinx, for reals. Oh u guys…

Every day I begin again, you know, like we all try to do, but lately… too many doors closing, no windows opening. And tomorrow… I will try again. Thank u, Sphinx. Thank u, Mystic. xx

emg
emg
March 16, 2016 6:29 am
Reply to  sphinx

Since Saturn in Scorpio and still regimen ting my 8th my libido has curled up and died RIP desire passion lust I’m hoping to find it again in my 9th but I do hope it’s not intellectual I’m too earthy for that

Pegasus
MM Member
Pegasus
March 16, 2016 5:29 pm
Reply to  emg

Not dead darling just having a little nap 🙂

sphinx
MM Member
sphinx
March 16, 2016 9:24 pm
Reply to  Pegasus

Haha, let yr libido have a nana nap! Kundalini energy can be so OTT.

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 18, 2016 9:06 am
Reply to  sphinx

I was supposed to be getting the injections to my spine today. For the 24/7 pain I’ve had for a few years now despite all the other tx? It was on the New Moon Eclipse + Chiron that my insurance co denied the procedure & so, the hospital canceled my injections. So disappointing/frustrating– I was so hopeful that some relief was in sight! But no, not this time. Vault door slamming shut. Ppl who don’t live with chronic pain have no idea… So, I’ve been recovering from that blow, that disappointment, ever since. I know you feel me, Sphinx. It’s… Read more »

Catherine
Catherine
March 15, 2016 10:58 pm
Reply to  Mystic

Lol mystic scorpios love to argue! And point out any innacuracies in their opinion, though of course they can muck around with such things cause well they are scorpionic?

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 16, 2016 5:44 am
Reply to  Catherine

Arguing can be really hot. No argument from me there.

fishgirl
fishgirl
March 16, 2016 5:20 am
Reply to  Mystic

It is hilarious!!! I love it

pi
pi
March 16, 2016 6:16 am
Reply to  AnkhRising8.0

Hey scorp.
Pi XXO

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0
March 16, 2016 6:27 am
Reply to  pi

Hey Pi. x MUAH x

Catherine
Catherine
March 15, 2016 7:39 pm

“I got him off adult friend finder by mistake” …scorpio’s do not make mistakes lol..and once he had experienced me he would never leave, dead or not! Scorpio rising with Saturn and Neptune on ascendant with Pluto conjunct midheaven

The Venus Fly
The Venus Fly
March 15, 2016 7:33 pm

I used to have a very bad subconscious habit of dreaming about my partner-at-the-time’s ex-lovers. Not just dreams – their actual memories that they never told me which of course would freak them out. Not cool, NOT cool yo…

Scorpio ruled 6th house but in Draconic both my Mars and Venus are is Scorpio.

Toroqueen
Toroqueen
March 15, 2016 6:17 pm

This: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it”

Spot on.

Scorp rising.

pi
pi
March 16, 2016 6:00 am
Reply to  Toroqueen

Yes, this.

Roxy Scorpio
MM Member
Roxy Scorpio
March 16, 2016 6:12 am
Reply to  pi

absolutely true indeed!!

aquasunrise
aquasunrise
March 16, 2016 3:38 pm
Reply to  Toroqueen

I will agree. Person of scorpio quality, honesty and intensity has found their path through me…

Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
MM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot
March 15, 2016 5:57 pm

Love this stuff. Can we do Pisces soon please? hee hee.

pi
pi
March 16, 2016 5:57 am

Lol yes but please don’t make Pisces out to be too flaky. Being kind to children and animals is always a good foundation haha

Jokerman
Jokerman
March 16, 2016 6:09 am
Reply to  pi

I prefer to think of them as King George Whiting (Adelaide and Perth ppl know what l am saying).

At least the one l went out with tonight. And she is exact trine to me.

Sam
Sam
March 16, 2016 5:44 pm
Reply to  Jokerman

lol well yes if we’re talking shark, sometimes a ‘new friend’ does bring out the carnivore in me e.g. Aries recently *suddenly looks vague*

not so sure about the whiting unless.. ok let me look this up

“HOW TO CATCH KING GEORGE WHITING
King George whiting are caught from southern New South Wales to Western Australia. This species is not the biggest, meanest or hardest fighting fish in southern waters but, when it comes to popularity, this humble epicurean delight is near the top of most anglers’ lists.”

hmm
~stares at Powderfinger~

Jokerman
Jokerman
March 17, 2016 1:43 am
Reply to  Sam

My fav meat. It’d be my choice of protein if l was only ever allowed one source.
I like Pisces. It was a compliment. Plus you know you’d lose a staring contest with me.

pi
pi
March 17, 2016 4:12 am
Reply to  Jokerman

I had the impression she had made a good impression …
I stare to evaluate .. not to compete 😉

Jokerman
Jokerman
March 17, 2016 4:48 am
Reply to  pi

Mars is square my Mars and Uranus trine my Merc.

I am throwing little stoush bombs everywhere l go. Verbal fencing jousts as it were. Ive debated topics as diverse as The Trump Chump, women in heels, touching the ref, idiots in cars, in power, savants from the savannah and chunda from the tundra. Epsilon 16, ayurvedic healing, why Porsches are better than Corvettes and pineapples. Nuthn serious

Skarab
MM Member
Skarab
March 17, 2016 5:20 am
Reply to  Jokerman

I hear you Pf. I have SO MUCH Uranus, Mars and Merc action going on right now that it’s truly mental. And for everybody’s sake, i might hit the mountains with pen and paper only, i think.

Jokerman
Jokerman
March 17, 2016 5:29 am
Reply to  Skarab

Think with ink,
and paper writ
mit your rapier wit
From Skrab inc

Skarab
MM Member
Skarab
March 17, 2016 5:57 am
Reply to  Jokerman

ooooh – liiiike!

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus
March 15, 2016 5:28 pm

Love Nietzche – that quote in particular! Fun fact: Did you know that Nietzche was a Leeb with Sun opposite Pluto? Possible Scorp Rising, but his TOB isn’t ironclad so we can’t know for sure. He spent his latter years quite mad from syphilis, so the VD would seem rather astrologically fitting… LMAO @ the whole thing, mostly because I could identify with a fair amount of it as a Venus/Pluto chick! Well, ok, except for the Adult Friend Finder part – I’ll leave that to the Venusian Uranians like my girlfriend who actually did find her beau on that… Read more »

Annica
Annica
March 15, 2016 7:26 pm

I found it cutely ironic a Scorp would pick a Libran quote! 🙂

missy
missy
March 15, 2016 11:37 pm
Reply to  Annica

and what about the poor scorp with the libran mars and venus?

Roxy Scorpio
MM Member
Roxy Scorpio
March 16, 2016 6:11 am
Reply to  missy

Ha, right! Or one with Mars in Scorp (Sun) and Mercury in Libra (rising): “unscheduled explosions” indeed (just because they are my own doesnt mean they are a like exactly),, and then frantically picking up the pieces and trying to put things back in order and balance again…:-)

Roxy Scorpio
MM Member
Roxy Scorpio
March 16, 2016 6:18 am
Reply to  Roxy Scorpio

by the way, I think this dress suits a libra rising very well….want!

mick
mick
March 18, 2016 5:26 pm

he had issues way before the vd

markh
MM Member
markh
March 15, 2016 5:24 pm

A real scorp didn’t write that – imposter!

sphinx
MM Member
sphinx
March 15, 2016 5:14 pm

Very funny, very cool, love it!
Haiku like and powerful.

Ps. I am in the 3D Life of Volcanos room, 3rd time repeated in the museum, surrounded by 6 year olds shrieking as we fly inside a volcano over lava.

This post is sweet relief. I may need an alibi any minute.

Charley
Charley
March 15, 2016 4:54 pm

Accurate!!!

ibaine
MM Member
ibaine
March 15, 2016 9:09 pm
Reply to  Charley

Omg yes!!

Scroll to Top