The Saturn-Neptune Vortex

Yoshitaka Amano

Image: Yoshitaka Amano

The Saturn Neptune square is the signature astro-passage of 2015/2016.  The last time these two faced off was in 2006/2007.   That was Saturn in Leo versus Neptune in Aquarius, this time it is Neptune in the sign that it rules.

A.k.a. a potent Neptune, capable of casting a powerful spell, for genius-art-compassion-shamanic-Awesome-soulmating OR, well you know how treacherous the undertow of Neptune can get. Saturn in Sagittarius is all about the blazing candor, no bull shit, truth-liberates sort of thing BUT it can also be a freaky religious fanaticism and/or non-stop belief wars.

But in our personal vibe, we’re trying to aim for haute Neptune – psychic, guided, magic, idealistic & creative – whilst still doing our due Saturn diligence. Some people are cleaving to one or the other already and not the highest version of either.

They’re turning on big-time to escapism/zombie affairs/blue devil hoochie juice and other Neptunian substances OR they’re setting their stance to “rigid” and making out like if they repeat the same ‘everything is fine, this is just cyclical/a short shower/a spat” that things will “sort themselves out.”

SO handling this Saturn-Neptune scene is what’s under-pinning all the Horoscopes at the mo, even if they don’t always say “this is because of the Saturn-Neptune square” and it is a strong theme of the Sagittarius Now Mp3 obviously.

But if you prefer a more visual display of the Saturn-Neptune Vortex, voila.

Moulin Rouge

There is Haute Neptune – Art, Myth, Star-Crossed Lovers, Glamour, Shamans, Jung, Lucid Dreaming, Yoga, Lilac Wine etc…Magic is real.

Edmund Dulac

And then there is Lower Neptune – slippery people, co-dependent romances where each person relates to the other person’s crappiest dimension or you’re having sex with your dealer (art or drugs), whatever.  History is redolent with lost party souls, devotees of using Neptunian substances to transcend/seduce/numb/delude/ghost out/cope.

marilyn-monroe-pills-jacques-grange

Vamypre Lesbos

And of course, you don’t have to be high to be delusional. Or mistaking temporary flimsy solutions for the structural/big change that is required.

Crack Magic

So when Saturn comes along to square Neptune (and the closest it has got so far this year was mid-March), the Haute Neptune stuff you’re doing right – striving to be magic but not crazy, patiently confronting compulsions and lower Neptune attitudes, monitoring omens, dreams etc – becomes BETTER. Genuine soul connections get stronger. Truly original work/art/ideas are productive. Saturn can augment the magic that is Neptune.

Remedios Varo

But if you’re insisting on maintaining some Lower Neptune style thought process, economy, relationship, anything – Saturn square Neptune is a bit more like this.

Bengal tiger (Panthera tigris tigris).

 

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101 thoughts on “The Saturn-Neptune Vortex

    • Yes the visual reminders are trippy!

      And that her pharmacist was (Jackson) Pollock with a touch of Bailey(s) lol 🙂

  1. I can’t decide if i should be excited or terrified. The last time i experienced requited deep love was in 2006 but ended in summer 2008. I will never forget this person as they taught me so much about myself and life, but I am not sure I can handle a repeat.

  2. I feel ready. Saturn is going to return over my natal Saturn 17º 6H (will this feel like Double Saturn?) and Neptune will square that while drifting over my MC 15º Pisces. “Psychic, guided, magic, idealistic & creative” definitely; writing/worldbuilding fantasy & sci fi novels, envisioning my new author career, gradually manifesting my perfect hermit-like retreat in the mountains, etc. “Whilst still doing our due Saturn diligence” making a new business plan, booking my creative day job a few years in advance, getting health check-up & biometrics, dental work, possible orthodontics (restructure!), fresh financial software and credit card, revived diet and exercise regime.

  3. Neptune is currently stepping all over my natal moon in the 6th…which means Saturn wants to tango!

    This could be a rocky ride…thanks for the pointers! Definitely time to up the witchy-routine and put art making immediately after brushing teeth!

  4. I married my (amazing) husband and moved away from my fun, tight-knit, and deeply dysfunctional family in 2006, so I anticipate good things.

    I like Saturn transits. Maybe because I have Saturn conjunct Pluto in the first house, so I’m just used to it by now, but my Saturn return was pretty great. I leveled up in my career, and really put myself together. It was somewhat harrowing at the time, but so worth it.

    Mystic, I just wanted to say, I am a new subscriber and I have been blown away by the accuracy of the horoscopes. You say money is coming in, I get a new contract. You say communication will be amplified, I spend all day talking to strangers. You really know what your doing!

  5. Loving this- for me as a very outer planet person, its beginning to make sense that I can finally ground and work in the world with my Neptune (Libra in 12th house) because i have been through saturn in Scorpio (have saturn in Scorpio on my ascendant , innumerable illness of life threatening nature- after a wild earlier life- with some great achievements. Been forced to be still, to moderate, to get real!!! Enjoying celibacy by choice- and finally deciding to publish a website and do work online (in the past ran workshops in Shamanic work) (am part native american) Always been a Coyote and learning to work with that medicine takes tip you hit your fifties when you finally grow up. 60 this year so excited feels like a new chapter ahead.

    • I had to grin at Coyote.. that’s what you do right. Either initially.. when you don’t quite understand the medicine or much later when you do. Not sure about that bit in between. I’ve had a few good does of him during a couple of periods in my life..

      Saturn is on the cusp of my Sun for the second time this year Neptune is hanging out with natal Saturn in my 11th conjunct and staying that way for a bit before he goes to hang out with Chiron.

      I’ve had equal measure of things this year.. or perhaps a full spectrum of experience. Neither positive or negative (but both), good or bad (but both), building and destroying (both) etc. For me perhaps I would say it’s been a year of discernment, illusion busting and farewells to old paradigms etc that no longer align to the journey. There has been a this or that but not both kind of thing.. if you commit to this then you cannot dilute the energy or distract with that that.. and the lessons and growth that come with that. Perhaps that’s been the nodes? Perhaps it’s been Coyoted? See.. I’m grinning again.

      Shamanic biz blessings!

  6. Lately, I´ve been as sharp as a samurai blade, diligently laying bricks to (re) build my fortress. Doing haute Neptune-I now stay away from anything that could turn me into an amorphous energy blob. It is not (Saturnine) fear, it´s discernment- like opening a door and peeking at the Shangri-La illusions and not being tempted by them at all. However, the dreams I´m having would make Fellini envious! I´m fine with that. 🙂

      • Saturn just had his THIRD and final pass over my Sag Neptune. Saturn has been hitting me since he was in Libra-square Moon, opposite Sun; then in Scorpio opposite himself and the 3 other planets of my Toro stellium. It feels like astro Muzak!

        • And I didn’t mention his involvement with Chiron (opposition), Pluto, Uranus and Jupiter (conjunctions). Oh yes, clean house!

        • I think I asked you this in another post a little while ago sorry. I just read what you wrote and went saturn saturn saturn. My mind is really full right now and not its usual memory. So you finish saturn neptune and then we all do saturn neptune. You’ll be a pro

          • Ms., actually it was really good to write this down here. Even though I’ve been clocking Saturn, I just now realized the approaching conpletion of one of his cycles- am just waiting for the square to my Nodal axis (11degrees Virgo-Pisces). So, thank you for making me think about that!

  7. Saturn is entering my first house and transiting natal Neptune.. again. Last time around was pretty rough. The tiger in the grass image sums it up. Hopefully this time I’ll be haute all the way. How a Neptune Saturn square relates to a natal transit I’m not entirely certain. Super amplified? It feels like something big is coming.

  8. FFFFFUUUUUUUUU…..
    2006/2007 I upped sticks and went OS for half a year, had my first panic attack, got really sick and spent months and months getting myself functionally ok again.
    Got totally sucker-punched by that Neptunian undertow, obviously.

    I don’t think it helps that my Saturn is conjunct to my Sun – sometimes it can feel like everything I do/want to do has some kind of blow-back associated and no matter what I can’t step “right”.

    Being a pleasure-loving Libran, I can’t help feeling that Saturn Is Just Mean and want to pout at it till it goes away/does what I want!

    • It’s funny (as in exasperating) isn’t it… Like being a bohemian free-lover who suddenly has to show up for work in a Bavarian engineering firm. And it feels like Every Thing You Say And Do Is Wrong. Ugh. And everyone else including the chairs and tables seems to get off on telling you so. Finding a middle path of sanity, everyday awareness, and self-care between the constant setbacks and “Omfg HOW could I be so stupid / these people must live miserable lives” dynamic is maybe a bit of the key. But sometimes like driving an overloaded semitrailer through a small tunnel, things that are sticking out everywhere are going to be sheared off in a messy way.

      “Does what I want” haha lol is this a cardinal sign thing?

      • Oh wow, yes to the judgemental-as tables and chairs! You hit it! Hopefully this time round I’ll be able to behave a bit older and wiser and keep my arms and hands inside the moving vehicle.

        Um.. and I don’t know that I’d call it a “Cardinal sign thing” so much as a “Libran thing” really…..read Mystic’s sun-sign description of us again. “Whim of Steel” is so true I laugh and wince every time, in recognition.

          • Pi, I love love the image of messy bits and pieces sticking out of the back of a semi being sheared off as you enter the tunnel …that’s pretty much how the last few years of Saturn action has treated me :-).

            Currently Saturn is directly on my natal Neptune and I have been er…inspired/invaded… by an idea that from a logical stand point reads as completely batshitcrraaazy – and definitely life changing. But I’m planning, scheming, scheduling and spreadsheeting the fuq out of it…I’m not sure if I’m succumbing to Neptune’s siren call and deluding myself that applying such Saturnine techniques will make this decision “logical” (they won’t) or if I am applying Saturn clarity towards manifesting a huge undertaking….it will be interesting to see!

            • and yeh, this decision does have over tones of the 2006-7 Saturn-Neptune scenario involving a brief but life changing “soul mate” type of encounter (I’m always suspicious of those kinds of interactions but hoping to navigate this potential project with far more nouse and a “well laid plan”…)

            • Saturnplutoflux imho these are the BEST kinds of ideas! The ones that peg a glitterbomb in your heart and you have enough faith/aplomb/determination to see how you could begin to manifest that… So exciting. And makes us look forward to a glitter-bomby-future. I mean, not that these dreams have to be glamorous or innately jazzy flamboyant whatever but more that if they light a fire on our hearts, then we owe it to ourselves to investigate all possible ways to make this happen. To stomp on our own dreams let alone anyone else’s before they’ve even had a chance to draw breath, is an unforgivable sin in my opinion. Good luck xxx

              • Wow Pi, thanks for such an eloquent pep talk – if you don’t mind I am going to print that comment out and stick it on the fridge for those times when it just seems way too out there and flaky to even contemplate…:-)

              • I might do the same, haha, I’m contemplating something similar!! Sanity checks never hurt once in a while but fuq it, what are your other options anyway. You only know if you start out. , a big fan of awesome long range plans working out. xxx

  9. It was in 2006-2007 that I met the person who in my young life I thought was my soul mate. Maybe he is? Oh, no, I’m kinda scared of this Nepture square Saturn thing.

  10. Seriously. Nep sq Sat forming a T-Sq with my Virgo Mars Pluto Venus Karma et al.

    I find doing haute Neptune nebulous. Low Neptune for that matter. In my teenage years l was King Neptune. I was Bob Marley’s Adelaide Branch CEO.

  11. During 2006-2007 the company I worked for was subjected to a hostile takeover and I reluctantly gave notice and went to a new company (then the recession hit). I also got pregnant in early 2007, so there’s that, but I doubt it’s THAT. 😉

  12. Wow, I totally get this. The astrological themes in my dreams even support this–I was in a magical underwater world (Neptune) swimming with porpoises–except they were skeletons (but very much alive) so bones=Saturn, right?

    Working hard in my witch garden, and trying to keep things magical but delusion-free.

  13. I feel like I’m missing a key part of all this, like I’ve got to educate myself about myself here. I’m a sun gem scorp rising and Aquarius moon. But the whole saturn aspect in my chart constantly eludes me. Like no matter how many astrodienst charts I run I just can’t see the Saturn/Neptune connections and it’s really frustrating my Gemini!

  14. I don’t think my 2006-7 could possibly repeat because I was having one *hell* of an end of decade pluto transit, think Innana on the meathooks (real life near death experience) plus saturn square neptune squaring sun.
    Meh.

    Now it’s all going to be conjunct. Saturn will be on my moon, venus neptune squaring neptune opposite all my virgo planets, including Saturn, so this is going to feel very personal I think. I am actually tempted to find someone with better knowledge and ask about this because I know from my chart I have a real saturn/neptune learning curve and given that the squares will be conjuncting moon and venus to neptune already natally (my computer changed to ‘fatally”) conjunct it seems like a major life lesson in play

    • The astro auto corrects freak me out (astro = Castro, apparently, obviously a recent software update has erased all my spelling pre-sets and I even have to teach my phone how to swear again… I mean honestly.)

      It’s interesting the feeling about really wanting to come to grips with the emerging/upcoming astro details (I use that term in whatever way makes sense for you). Squaring up….so to speak.
      I clicked on a random past post recently and it was about self help books. So many wise commenters out there. Some of them felt very Saturn neptuneish.
      Where am I going with this?.
      Don’t know… but good luck.

      • So funny about the auto correct thing! I have recently changed professions from a blue hoochie centric biz to a more arts driven job. I still acknowledge wine is my beverage of choice, but I am focused on my health and don’t have to drink for a living- so I am changing my relationship with the alluring elixir and the members of the clan. I constantly get A/Cs Jupiter- julep, swell-swill, witch-wine ,slip- sip, battle- bottle , obvs some are mis type generated ,but some are random Like recently cordial and cork? I hear the Neptunium undertow

  15. What a great post. Love it! I have Sun opposite Mars in Gemini and Sag respectively, and have been enduring Neptune square my Sun/Mercury conjunct for the last few years. It has been a real delusion buster and I ended up having to really evaluate my substance intake and one relationship in particular for the sake of my art and life in general. I am glad Saturn is now on the scene but it is the work, so to speak (ironically Mars in my 6th). I had a period where I just felt I was floating, sometimes it felt amazing, other days I felt totally non-productive and lost, as though everything I was was being eroded like the sea might a cliff at its edge, if that makes sense. The weird thing about Neptune is that it takes a while to realise you are in it, it is that nebulous. Then I had the aha moment, it came with a lot of tears, and a real deep sadness that the erosion that was happening was the end of things that didn’t serve me anymore, even though I wanted them to stay. There have been a lot of losses and I wonder at times how I have come through it all, even though I wanted to just ‘leave’ at times on so many levels. Now I am trying to get motivated to get some writing done – what else can you do with this stuff except cathart away with it all. It’s been such a hard transit and there is more to come but it has been useful. My heart hurts at times but it also wants to tell its story of those hurts. Neptune and Saturn have to come to show me how art can be alchemy, and that no matter how far you are pushed into the dark, even pain can be transformed into something beautiful. Je suis pret.

  16. Crack Magic is the funniest thing ever. It’s even the right color.

    I have Moon Neptune, so I am pretty sure I have tasted the gamut of Neptune expressions at this point. I have no idea what all this transiting business is going to do to me. Should I grow a mermaid tail or a wetsuit?

    I barely remember 2006-2007. I do remember getting knocked up on my birthday after drinking wine and margaritas. But it was planned. So a little Saturnine Neptune right there.

  17. Crack Magic is the funniest thing ever. It’s even the right color.

    I have Moon Neptune, so I am pretty sure I have tasted the gamut of Neptune expressions at this point. I have no idea what all this transiting business is going to do to me. Should I grow a mermaid tail or buy a wetsuit?

    I barely remember 2006-2007. I do remember getting knocked up on my birthday after drinking wine and margaritas. But it was planned. So a little Saturnine Neptune right there.

  18. For starters, the Mars Chiron opposition is EXACTLY on my IC/MC degree as well as my Mars at 17 Pisces. Oh joy.

    Neptune is EXACTLY on my Moon, which is at 7 Pisces, and of course Saturn is squaring that. More joy.

    I’ve been feeling really shaky, emotionally, lately, but trying to not do lower Neptune. I can’t drink alcohol much anymore, because I get drunk very quickly since I had that surgery, something changed…. Also, I just get ‘weird’ when I drink, say and do weird stuff more than I used to, like I get possessed…. SO……I try to stay away from it, which is actually not too hard. I don’t do or have any interest in any other drugs.
    Shaky emotions are due to my ongoing stress from my economic situation and from the final break from my guy a couple weeks ago.

    I’ve also been SUPER agitated this week, really off and really annoyed, irritable, angry, but sad too….it’s probably having Mars transit opposite my Mars and with Venus and Jupiter in tow……basically right now my Mars/Pluto opposition angular at the IC/MC is getting revved up by these transiting planets and it revvs up my emotions about the break up too since my guy had Venus at 15 Pisces, so he’s in there too. I’m pissed off at him and will probably never speak to him again because at this point I’d have nothing nice to say… I’m mad at myself too…..feel like I disrespected myself for ever being with him…. ugh..
    I’ve just got to get through this time…… I’ve been doing really good nutrition and focusing on my business and doing more business networking. In a way, there has been a really refreshing ‘sobering’ effect in my life lately that feels so welcome. Just want to get down to business, make money, get out of debt, avoid drama, and just be unto myself…… I’m doing coloring book therapy, big mandala designs and all that………..SO therapeutic. I just want to hunker down and be alone and unbothered this winter…… I can be very disciplined and austere if I want to be and maybe Saturn will be helping with this at this time… thanks for listening. 🙂

    • This all sounds good, flowerchild. I mean your resolutions and actions. RESPECT for yourself is No. 1. and yes to sorting out debt, avoiding drama and nourishing yourself!

    • Always listening x
      Yes I feel all this!
      Mars and Chiron on those angles must be intense.
      Neptune moon , I remember this personal transit. It was long and full of solitude and I felt a bit lost. But big glowing caverns opened up, in some ways.
      That sober feeling. YES.

    • Flowerchild, the terrain may be rough, but I see you have a plan, a course of action. It’s wonderful just to see how you’re respecting and putting yourself first. Something I saw today made ne think of you- the accountability loop: recognize, own, forgive, self-examine, learn, take action. xx

    • I’m taking a drinking hiatus too. I’d like to work on herbal cocktails – teas and tinctures. I have a few standbys but there’s others I haven’t tried that might suit me better.

      Winter is the best time for inner space, isn’t it? The world is quiet and serene. Nights are long and the daily basics take a little more time and energy. Sounds like a perfect time to color some mandalas and clear your mind and heart.

      Best wishes, flowerchild. xx

  19. Just as lover from 2006-2007 visits me frequently this year in my dreamlife…in a much healthier form than was. Not exactly out of nowhere. I’d say out of Neptune. And we split up right when Saturn finished the final passage of my 7th house. ..

  20. I’ve also gone a bit postal with autistic moments lately. In a bustling space and I’ll be off with the twinkly lights dancing on the raindrops etc…

  21. 9 years ago, my 3 babies were 3, 7 and 10 and still my babies now they are young adults. It’s weird frightening and glorious all at the same time. We had a celebration the other night and out of the 100 or so people there many were friends of my children, like a whole new generation coming into our lives. You can see how much Neptune and Saturn they have ahead of them. As Dali remarked, “the trouble with youth today, is that I’m not one of them”

  22. I have to admit this summer was a tough one. I thought after Mercury in Retrograde passed that communications would clear up not breakdown completely.
    I am watching a friend spiral downward in drugs, mental delusions and illness. But there’s nothing anyone can do.
    I chose to take the high road not the low.
    Watching others I care about further spiral out-of-control is difficult to watch.

  23. I’m being plagued by Saturn Neck again and I have no idea why. Saturn is at present squaring my Saturn/Sun/Merc. I am not good at reading squares and I don’t understand the extra charts on astro.com but I think it’s also squaring (on the other side) my Venus and late Leo rising.
    Up in the middle of the night again. All the talk on the other post about relationships and dating stirred up some stuff. The truth is of course that I know I’ve put my heart out of bounds. I’m still fairly banged up emotionally after the marriage abuse/betrayals and the loss of my lover. I wish I knew what to do to heal the pain. Time hasn’t yet worked! That’s why I am still emo eating and drinking although not as much as before. It was daily now it’s only once a week or so. They say Saturn likes the truth, well there it is.

    • My heart goes out to you. Have you ever tried EFT or Psych K? I used to have (diagnosed) PTSD, panic disorder, and severe depression for years and those tools really changed my life.

      Interestingly enough, Stanford brain imaging research showed maintaining dual point awareness of both the negative emotion and a desired emotion was the only way to completely erase implicit memory. If a person feels sad or angry seemingly without reason, they have triggered an implicit memory.

      EFT is structured in such a way that it promotes that type of dual point awareness. At the same time, tapping acupressure points releases increased serotonin and endorphin to ease pain,

      It took awhile to clear things out, but I haven’t been depressed or had a panic attack for over two years now which still feels like a miracle. It also cleared up a lot of physical issues. Take care:)

      • Thank you for such a generous and kind response Melody. I have heard of both these things but not tried them.
        I probably need to get back to writing. I have a heap of material that needs shaping. I’ve thought about making an album of that period of time, all the songs that sprang from it. No easy task for a non-musician lol
        Part of the problem has been that so much about what happened was to do with secrets: my affair, my ex-husband’s unacknowledged sexuality, his reading of my diaries for years. Just horrible. I don’t feel I’ve had any witnesses, I’ve kept so much of it inside, particularly my grief at the end of my marriage and losing my home. I hated him in the end but the sense of loss has been profound. I don’t think I’ve really dealt with that. (Well clearly I haven’t if I’m up in the middle of the night banging on about it). x

        • That sounds like a wonderful idea. Probably one of the best uses for pain is art. If Frida Kahlo hadn’t gotten into a horrific bus accident, she may have never become an artist. And the world would be greatly impoverished.

          I know what you mean about secrets. I haven’t used any of the things I have gone through except in the most oblique ways, only now do I feel like I am ready to start writing about it more.

          I have Cancer sun/mars/mercury on the mid-heaven square my ascendant, and I hid what I was going through all those years under a cheerful demeanor to take care of everyone else. It also didn’t help that I had my life threatened and the life of my family, if I ever revealed the truth. Even writing something as vague as that, still freaks me out a little.

          I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt before anyone in my family knew I was even depressed.

          Robin Williams had a similar configuration in his chart, Cancer sun square the ascendant. If no one knows you’re struggling, they can’t help.

          You have the right idea. It’s better to let it out. Make it into art. Connect with people.Good luck:)

          • what an inspiring post Melody! and you’ve helped clarify my creative process as well — i’m drawn to making autobiographical art lately — have always wanted to pour out my darkest secrets to someone, and I believe if I do it though art it might help others as well as myself

  24. Patience is writ large every where for me at the moment. “Patiently confront compulsions” – ummm, yes. That’s an eloquent way of putting it in a nutshell. Learning to be with a new lover is kind of a mindfuck at the moment – getting to understand new sets of idiosyncrasies and establishing new boundaries. All the time while negotiating and establishing a new paradigm in my exisiting relationship. And trying hard not to over think and double guess (wrongly) everything.

    Saturn is currently lining up to transit my natal Neptune/Mercury conjunction at the same time it’s squaring Neptune. This is going to be a doozie.

  25. This Neptunian is ready. I think. Not really, but I’m actually finding blue devil hoochie juice is now making me physically ill, so I reckon that’s pretty helpful!
    Pentacles keep coming up in my readings which is reinforcing what I already know – I need some serious grounding. I’m going to print out my favourite Pentacles card and put it in a frame to be placed somewhere prominent. A constant reminder.
    Also a sentence floated into my head a couple of weeks ago that seems quite apt for the times. It didn’t seem to come from me, which was a bit spooky “Your suffering can become a living thing”. I’m not quite sure if it means be careful not to feed your suffering, or perhaps it would be cathartic to release your suffering through creativity. Maybe it’s both. Thanks cosmos for the helpful hint, keep em coming.

  26. yeah
    last night I dreamed I was having sex with myself, in public, compulsively.
    It was embarrassing and I knew it was socially “wrong” but I just couldn’t help it.
    it’s a continuation of the same theme as before (transparent clothing etc)
    I get that it’s about creativity and vulnerability
    My waking reality is so not compulsively orgasmic
    Living in a state of anxiety and feeling like a total failure (Uranus conj Chiron in the 5th and Saturn conj Neptune as main personal transits)
    I suppose dreams are nothing if not compensatory in this regard.
    If I have anything, it is a faith in my ability to survive alone and in my authenticity, to persist regardless.

    • I haven’t been on much, its challenging at the moment, but are you still writing your book? Was looking forward to hearing further – hope you still plan too…

      • I haven’t either. Life has been intense.
        No, I haven’t been writing. Hence the constant anxiety and feelings of failure.

        • Hi, sorry to hear so…it must be tough…I cannot say anything you don’t already know…admit I am awol at present, but really trying to pull my socks up…my daughter starts school which is fantastic opportunity for her, I have been encouraging her to read, and she has pretty much taught herself! That is the good news…how is your lovely niece, I think she was a god child or relative? The one that looks so eerily like my child? You seemed to be so connected with her…

          My instructor is away, and someone I really admired and loved too has suicided in the last two weeks but I only found out Sunday, unexpectedly yet they must have planned it as it was with the aid of a doctor through an organisation, yet no one is saying anything…

          This woman and I were close and she met my daughter…So loving and kind, yet formidable, clever…brutal wit, uncanny sharp mind, highly instinctive…something has to have gone terribly wrong. I just was about to arrange another meet up, but she is gone, permanently…

          Talk about eclipse timing, she had a fixed square / cross (early Taurus / scorpio / aquarius…) The whole thing is shrouded or veiled…maybe I will know why she did not tell me, when we were about to start seeing more of eachother? My daughter remembers her, yet she must have planned to die…I don’t understand…

          I really hope you will write, I just admire a woman who can break out of a conservative expectations, be courageous enough to venture into unchartered territory…I hope you will be happier…

          Life is chaotic, and I am barely coping with marriage, but really forcing myslef to try and behave, be good domestically, conjugal responsibilites, lovingness brings love and dignity too…just that I know that some things will never change…

          I keep thinking I’ll write to the person who changed me, but what can he do? I am in a prison of my own doing…I don’t know whether I am really safe, or perhaps deluded, I do know that I should pursue being independent…its as if I am caged, have been for years, but to upset it all with a child is so hard…

          There is always a path…

          • Hey hey
            Yeah I read about your friend who committed suicide in the comments.
            Really sorry for your loss. Awful.
            Thanks for the gentle encouragement.
            Its a weird moment. The Saturn / Neptune bubble burst in the big sky combined with my personal Saturn/ Neptune transit is quite interesting. It’s like delusion busting on steroids. Weirdly though I’ve let myself be pulled right back into the black hole of delusion lately. Maybe it’s my compulsion to understand it before I say I’m done with it, or maybe I’m just weak with him. In any event, I’ve been deep sea diving and have the bends again. I feel like its getting clearer. As if its becoming, not easier but just the sheer repetition of insanity is a great teacher. Externally, nothing happens but on the inside, it hurts a great deal. Also family stuff, money stuff, just the usual Saturn issues. Daddy has been financially foolish and now that he’s old and has been reckless with his health and everything else, he needs my help. Very Saturn on Neptune.
            The Chiron opposite Jupiter thing atm feels profound too. I’m guessing you feel it keenly too with all you’ve experienced lately?
            For me it’s bookended in similar fashion to S/N above by my Uranus conj Chiron transit. I’m climbing out of an emo hole slowly that was so incredibly dark this summer. This whole year actually but the intensity was profound in the summer. Just every ache from the early years was twitching and twingeing …
            So big up the Chiron Club.
            I saw the Amy 2015 movie today, really moving. Her sun, mars, mercury Virgo combo always freaks me out. I so get that girl. Her delusional addiction and need of Blake and booze, and all manner of drugs. The way she worships her father but knows twas Daddy what fucked her up. It all touches me deeply. I just know.
            Good film to watch today.
            So yeah, I’m writing again, a little bit.
            Mainly I’m just cleaning windows.
            And aching.

  27. Jupiter in Virgo is benefic for me.
    Anti inflammatory / alkaline diet is amazing.
    Was tough to make the switch at first but now that Saturn shoulder has completely healed, I’m converted. Also my taste and what I crave has totally shifted. The idea of meat that isn’t fish is repulsive to me and that is purely physical, not idealistic. My body just does better on veggies and I prefer the taste. It’s weird. But good.
    Also the nicotine addiction has just vanished.
    Again, I don’t know why, I didn’t consciously even TRY to stop.
    I just woke up one morning and realised it had been over a week and I’d puke if I tried to smoke or vape. Zero cravings.
    And I meditate now.
    This is what comes of Saturn on Neptune.

      • thanks dizzarina
        spent the evening cleaning out my inboxes as I have several
        interesting to see the pattens in relationships retrospect and also how easy it is to get the system crudded up with junk
        yes, that applies on multiple levels but right now I need to get my work space clear so I can write again
        Good to have health back, now I want worky brain to work
        Sun, Mars, Mercury in Virgo, have to make the most of Jupiter in Virgo year!

  28. “And then there is Lower Neptune – slippery people, co-dependent romances where each person relates to the other person’s crappiest dimension or you’re having sex with your dealer (art or drugs), whatever…”

    What if you are sinking into neptune quicksand, where everything is upside down, wonky, feels surreal, dishonest but no evidence, only instinct; so the remedy of patiently sticking it out?…I keep trying to see what will occur if I try a different approach, truth, candor yes with a new window on faith, morality…

    As for sex with the dealer…I am a zombie from consistent highs, too much fuel, being fed terribly…and so far cannot refuse…we are definitely up to each other’s necks in a strange sensual dimension, but it isn’t healthy…

    The other person I crave, wish to escape to is representing integrity, discipline, perfection and intensity through some kind of purity, self focus, personal structure…and is far away, more than a decade older, established and is overworked, exhausted, ageing and lonely…And I do love him…

    Meanwhile I am a beautiful loving mess, domestic scene is an erotic swamp of slow moving chaos with my devoted partner from hell…my instructor is just barely able to whip me back to into focus…

  29. Amazing how many people have commented on being suddenly sober/clean/vegetarian and all without seemingly trying. Same here, and all since saturn started squaring my sun and venus around the beginning of the year. That’s a t-square with Neptune opposing my sun and sitting on my progressed ascendant. Sounds horrible, thank goodness I hadn’t thought much about it last year because I would have freaked out but it turns out to have been wonderful. There has been a little bit of lower Neptunian stuff that stayed in the mental realm, a little bit of drifting dreamily through the days but saturn seems to have the whip hand in terms of actions. I’m grateful for that.

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