Saturn Vs Sun: This Might Be Uncomfortable

Filed in Saturn

Mariano Peccinetti

Saturn Vs Sun: This might be uncomfortable, people!  I mean like ‘cold speculum’ uncomfortable, as in understatement and apologies to the gentleman readers.

This hard biting bit of astro has been given s-loads of coverage in the Horoscopes but hey, you might want to share here, yes?

To summarize, this is the last blast of Saturn in Scorpio. After a power trip/psychological colonic/master declutter ongoing since October 2012, it is vacating the establishment.

Think what has morphed in your life since late 2012 if you want some Saturnine perspective.

But before the Time God goes, there is a square to golden sunny Sun in Leo, who is near asteroid Eros and seeks only to be fabulous and adored.

But no, says Saturn, you need to take care of this and this AND that before any such golden status can even be applied for, let alone assured.

The clarity of Saturn is always an asset but, it’s true, this might feel a bit uncomfortable.

So given that this astro-passage sees us through until Monday, how are y’all going with it?

 

Image: Mariano Peccinetti

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School of Fish
School of Fish

Oh am so looking forward to Saturn moving off my sun and moon, but in a year or two it will be squaring them so what the heck! Saturn up baby!

socialgraffitiMM Member
socialgraffiti

Ah, I’m pretty late to the discussion on this, but Saturn in Scorpio has dramatically transformed my life. Too many trials and tribulations. Too many Qi Vampires. Too many pass-agg, hideous people testing my wits. To be quite frank, the past two years were probably the worst of my life (Saturn squaring multiple planets did not help). Having a Scorpio stellium, I’m eagerly awaiting the passage of Saturn into Sagittarius. I did learn a lot from it, however. I can condense them into bullet points: 1.) “Keep your income, sex life, and next move private.” 2.) Loyal, trustworthy, and honest… Read more »

Aqua-cap-GeminiMM Member
Aqua-cap-Gemini

Love this list. Esp #8 and 7, and 9, and 10 and… Yeah – the whole list. On Fleek 😉

Lux Interior Is My Co-PilotMM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

This was fairly hideous. I was without internet and therefore scopes, but the past week was emo and hideous. gaaaakkk.

K
K

I want to hit my Factory Re-set button…if I could just find it…

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

I unplug myself and plug myself back in occasionally.

sweetfierceMM Member
sweetfierce

Does anyone know/think Saturn Returns have a shadow zone? If a calculator I used is correct, mine starts in February. I’ve been going through things (as I see all of us have!). Tough as it has been, it’s also invigorating. Sending good thoughts to everyone 🙂

PiMM Member
Pi

I’m starting to wonder if men who have significant chart points conjunct my 4th house Libra north node are the men who light up my “husband/man in my life” energy. Its different from the vibe of instant-lust (toro or Scorpio usually) or the more “cosmic play date” of sadge men (my descendant).
I rarely if ever have that feeling about a man, there have been two now, one current but across the continent, the other was the Neptunian Toro vastly incompatible in several ways but his energy *felt * husband-like. (His Uranus on my NN)
Strange. Hmm.

LexieMM Member
Lexie

On Friday I lost it. It felt like my bottle had been uncorked. I started to sob, and I couldn’t stop. I cried inconsolably for over an hour while my poor little boys looked on. Nothing to be done, and I have so much more crying to do. It’s been years since I felt this awful… I really hope that the light at the end of the tunnel comes soon. All my baggage about guys, starting with my alcoholic father and ending with my absent and maybe gone for good 23 year old lover, is up for review. This is… Read more »

PiMM Member
Pi

Grieving for relationships we were never allowed to have… Especially those with our parents. It just lands upon us at some point… I’m sorry that you feel so sad. Hugs xx

LexieMM Member
Lexie

Thank you Pi X

dizzarinaMM Member
dizzarina

I woke up today thinking a neighbor’s house was on fire. The scent was so precise and intense. I opened the blinds to find my town encased in thick smoke. The wind in the Pacific Northwest had changed overnight and the smoke from the wildfires raging throughout three states was now funneling into Portland. Have had to keep the windows closed all day. Weird, weird light. It reminded me of the polluted hazy summer days I grew up with in NYC, times 10. Now I have the windows open since I couldn’t take the claustrophobia anymore, and my eyes are… Read more »

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

“The Apocalypse is something that will never happen but lays is.”

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

*Always is

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

I am an apocaloptimist: (def) someone who knows it’s all turning to shit, but still thinks it will turn out ok.

But that sounds so intense DP, trying spraying the air with water/vodka/essential oil mix, preferably lavender or something soothing. xx.

dizzarinaMM Member
dizzarina

Ooh, an apocaloptimist- that’s what I am, too! What a great word- sounds like a dinosaur by way of Sesame Street.

And thanks sphinx… I only have orange oil right now, but I think that will do to “juice up” the air in here a bit.

ElectroMM Member
Electro

Oh man, that haze is so crazy. The last time I was in Colorado there were crazy fires everywhere and the sky was like that. We went south from Denver to take the kids to a dinosaur museum before heading north to visit family. A bunch of roads were closed and we had to drive on all these crazy dirt roads through the mountains. What an adventure. You should tie a bandana around your face, gangster style to keep out the smoke and be apocalypse haute.

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

I woke up this past morning with this pain that is out of this world and mostly laughed at it. Like I’m speed processing. Laying here, I decide to see how long this #icanhazallthetranzitz phenomenon goes on. On the last day of my astro.com memberships extended daily setting I have Jupiter transiting my natal uranus AS my uranus opposition is exact. The more I look ahead I keep saying, oh I’ve got to live long enough to see what THAT looks like. This crush on astrology has been the best ever, I never feel like a love zombie with myself.… Read more »

dizzarinaMM Member
dizzarina

What a magnificent dream! And somehow fitting these times, which seem to be about leaving the past behind once and for all.

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

I hardly knew how bad I wanted to be Charles Bronson as a child.

The visceral leftover had everyone on edge though, it was 14 hours of “ellen may be having a heart attack” “should we call someone?”

“I’ll be fine” through grit teeth, getting back on the horse.

Sunsets to ride off into damnit! None of this mopey “go to the er” crap.

scorpmoongirl
scorpmoongirl

Did anyone else find the Sun Saturn shizz peaked late Friday evening and Saturday?? My head space and aura is totally fuq’d up after a Saturday spent fighting love zombie virus and serious paranoia. Anyone got any housewitchery purification advice?? Thx

Aqua-cap-GeminiMM Member
Aqua-cap-Gemini

I’d agree with that scorpmoongirl. Big time Fri-Sat, easing off somewhat Sunday and now today – Monday.. slowly feeling like normal again.

For me was all about sex – what it means, what I want, and various degrees and expressions of that. Intense, but super rut-busting.

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

Being a Sun in Leo / Moon in Scorpio (sun 4 deg – moon 23 deg) I feel like I have really felt this square. I have felt really dizzy, hypotension-ie, emotional and off all week. Yesterday I contacted an autism counsellor, the very amazing Donna Williams (whose astro I would be FASCINATED by MM!) in regards to my son and his learning disabilities. She diagnosed my son in two minutes with three conditions that affect his autism: Simultanagnosia, tourettes and an amount of social-emotional agnosia. She could see it by the way he moved his eyes and responded to… Read more »

supakaliMM Member
supakali

oh that’s great news sphinx! yay 🙂

ps. I been feeling like this all week as well! dizzy and lightly nauseous. I had a full social program this w/end and I had to bail half way through

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

Me too! I cried at a kid’s party yesterday – Cap thought he was going to the party, he wasn’t invited, he cried and then invited himself in..and I realised even though he was the same age as the boy whose party it was, only his older brother was invited and it was just the way it going to be for him for …now? The next year? The next five years? Forever?, they had him there in the end of course, but headache for 3 days plus and just dizzy and tired, with black eyes and I’m not sick, I… Read more »

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

Wow, so great that you are hooked up with her! New opportunity, new hope 🙂

I thought of you guys today, as I was checking out The Autism Channel (on Roku) & watched the most awesome clip of an ASD boy who got a therapy dog (for $13,000 USD). Oh it made me cry, it was so sweet & promising… And I wondered, how is your lil Cappy coming along with the lil kitteh?

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

Thank you for thinking of us, you are kind! My lil’ Cap is a roly-poly, tickle monster, gentle with his cats and with this stacked 5th House (like his dad) he is good at amusing himself. The 2nd puss is more truly ‘his’, she was a gift as the 1st boy had a genetic fault. She is also a Cappy. She is an anchor for his changing energy field & I was guided to her. He takes her to bed and looks at books with her in his arms. They don’t interact in any way that is visibly unusual, but… Read more »

supakaliMM Member
supakali

*emoticon with jaw hanging open*

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

Haha! Yeah, he is pretty awesome. It’s such an honour, I do really semi-worship our cats, as they are really something else..

dizzarinaMM Member
dizzarina

That is AMAZING!

skarabMM Member
skarab

Love!

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

Sphinx, you might have just gave me a new lease on life.

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

http://blog.donnawilliams.net Have a look at her blog. If you feel free to share how it made you feel I am curious, 😉 .

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

I looked at it sooooo briefly. but it reminded me that I’d been in communication with another author back pre-2014 Era zap zone and was working on a project on this idea…I wish I could communicate more about it and everything really but I don’t have a way to type it. I’m so glad when adults on the spectrum can help “interpret” for the kids. I used to be jealous, straight up, that kids now have access to so much even knowing how little services they get. But I am eternally grateful to the interwebz for bridging words and people… Read more »

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

ooh, you must try her books. I don’t relate to Temple much, but I just do to Donna. I have ADD, synthesia, EDS, epilepsy, blah blah, so I do carry some asd nature in me, but I found her autobiographies really resonant.

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

I am profoundly excited by how reframing neuro diversity has given me confidence to let myself back into the states of communication I had historically tried to bury.

That deserves a treatise, but…
The person who has helped me the most is this herbalist, sean donahue, he’s a witch, radical bad ass and on the spectrum.

magic. It’s how I roll.his writing is amazeballs but that class, I’ve yet to download it, but I cried heaps of recognition.

sphinxMM Member
sphinx

Wow, I love this guy!! His comments on autism and how sensitivity to the environment make communication with other life forms more available to autistic people makes a lot of sense to me! Thanks for this link. 🙂

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

oh i love him. yes, i am going to write to him again because i lost the link to the class.

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

I can write again!
Fuck, thank you Saturn!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxxox

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

!!!!!!

LeoMM Member
Leo

Puff, puff, puff, puff… when’s it bloody over? x

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Was not able to sleep at all last night so I worked.
Feel like crap today on a physical level but inwardly I’m pleased to have found some focus at last. Need to do some cardio so I can sleep tonight.
If my body isn’t exhausted, my mind won’t let me rest.

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

How about that Ashley Madison hack for these astro times?! And it just keeps getting better & better, with gov officials exposed & some lame ass hypocrite right wing reality “star,” & the lawsuits beginning to come in… Love It!!! Too, Subway’s poster boy exposed for the pedophile he is– Love That x100! Sun sq Saturn in Scorpio exposing fraud & deceit here there & everywhere– even the market is looking a lot less inflated. Now, let’s see some Trump bullshittery leveled in the next 48 hours & my weekend will be Ace.

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

Maybe that should be “reality” star.

*Now* he’s a Reality star lol!

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

A preview of Eclipse Season?

supakaliMM Member
supakali

yes, I think this astro is so necessary – it can be hard on us individually, but some major flushing out of shit is required so hence the Trump-sized colonic.

I just realised the Sun-Saturn square is making a T-square with my Moon. I need to be alone *broods*

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

Trump-sized colonic lol. I keep flushing but it’s still too big for the plumbing! Shoo shoo foul turds! *lights a match*

Yes, get thee to a peaceful oasis of fresh breezes & light thoughts STAT. Call a plumber if need be 😉

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

I’ve been out of the news & headlines loop but this does kind of bring a cheery smile to my face 🙂

Saturn yes.. and I also think the long Plutonic colonic through Capricorn is lending a bit of muscle.

PreppyvampireMM Member
Preppyvampire

Was so happy to see this post. Literally asked the universe for something like that and boom. Saturn has been back in my first house and hovering over my neptune for the last 6 weeks. Exact again this week with the Sun squaring my neptune as it’s been squaring Saturn on my neptune. Uncomfortable definitely is the operative word. I know it’s all growth stuff, but feeling like you’re going to throw up/lose your mind every other hour is challenging. That’s when it’s helpful to know if’s a cycle, right? And totally seeing the connections between end of 2012 and… Read more »

GeminEE
GeminEE

Scorp rising with lots of planets in Cap, Saturn in Capricorn so not fantastic but still managing to get my shit together, work done, etc. My immediate boss, not so. Don’t know anything other than he’s a Taurus and he just wants to enjoy life. I’m easing on the nagging/bugging but we’re going through a re-branding and the guy just doesn’t get that we’re in expansion mode. Still, I guess I just got to do Saturn and make sure I’m prepared for anything and everything. We tacked a phoenix poster to the wall the other day with the motto “We… Read more »

gbs
gbs

Saturn has been on my descendant at 28 Scorpio for what feels like weeks (maybe it has been weeks?) and now the square from Leo comes along, inflaming the Saturn paranoia, and status anxiety, and harsh self-assessment. So ready for this Saturn cycle to be over–at times I think I’ve made great progress since October 2012, but at others–like this week–I wonder if all the effort has been worth it. I don’t know if I’m that further along than the people who are just coasting through life? I guess a good thing to come out of this square is that… Read more »

hdq
hdq

i got into the school! put on business attire and interviewed for it and it felt so very saturnian, all structured black, and fantastic. cleaned my house until the floors shined. listened to the new chelsea wolfe and bought tickets. breathed.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0AgEkdh9TJc&w=560&h=315%5D
i love you guys, you, individual suffering and ripped-open-hearted ones up there. this too shall pass. xxxxxxxxxx

dizzarinaMM Member
dizzarina

Yay!!! Congratulations hdq. Which one, the bureaucratic labyrinth one, or CIIS?

hdq
hdq

CIIS! 😀

dizzarinaMM Member
dizzarina

You must be so relieved! After that move and all.

I love how things work out sometimes… the thing you plan falls through, but something better steps in to take its place…

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

😀 😀 😀 xx

Maxene Schreck
Maxene Schreck

<3 Chelsea Wolfe <3

Have fun at the show, and congrats on all of your recent success.

annica
annica

zomg Chelsea Wolfe! <3

Maxene Schreck
Maxene Schreck

Yeah!

She is just another classic example of that sexy, dark brooding Scorpio archetype that I love.

And legitimately talented.

flowerchild
flowerchild

Awesome! Are you going to CIIS, then? Congrats all round! 🙂

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Congrats !!!
And Chelsea Wolfe…oh yes!

ElectroMM Member
Electro

Yay! Congrats!

hdq
hdq

Thanks all you guys!!
I kinda lied when I said I just listened to her new album. The truth is, I’ve been listening nonstop since the first hour that it came out. So Scorpy! And the show is the night before the Aries eclipse, so it should be super powerful!!!!

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

OH yay congrats hdq this is fantastic news!!! A whole new chapter for you xx

rachel
rachel

Congrats HDQ!!! I am so jealous, after returning from vipassana I’m dying to do somatic psych but we will see. 🙂 I am so happy for you. This sounds like a much better fit.

Yes, this shall pass… anicca, anicca… 😀

CharleeMM Member
Charlee

Gawd its like the ‘don’t let the door hit you on the arse on the way out’. But this is good in its Saturn way, teacher of hard lessons.

GEMINI MOON
GEMINI MOON

Sucks….like everything is delayed …hidden . Can’t wait till it ends. The good side finally got some recognition in my career + respect ! Sun +Saturn in Leo !

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Have pretty much done as the w/end scopes suggested… so… snap!

Cleaned and scrubbed and reorganised and cleared.

It’s actually the brightest and most on my game I’ve felt all week. This week has kind of sucked. Saturn touring the 6th and I don’t want to rile him as he’s only around 8 degrees from my sun again once he gets back into Saggi so thanks Saturn.. for this, for what’s to come.. for all the love.

flowerchild
flowerchild

So this Saturn Sun square is squaring my Mercury at 29 Aqua, and that is the main aspect with my natal chart. Not too bad on a background of my life already being kind of difficult in a long-standing way, due to being only marginally employed for the last year. That is my main issue right now….needing to get a real, full time job, or at least enough work paid at the professional level that will make me a good salary, full time or not… I’ve been melancholy anyway a lot recently, so this is just more of the same,… Read more »

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

Stand your ground on that concern…there are plenty of reasons why it is not ideal to indulge internet porn…Wasteful and depleting of chi life forces for a start, There’s a well known healer / acupuncturist who deals with compulsive addiction, his name is Jost Sauer, please look him up…substance abuse and sex addiction are pretty similar…But from what I have read addiction to this sort of gratification has more to do with fear of intimacy…I recommend Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity…It is helpful book…

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Ah yeah.. Jost.. he’s great.

flowerchild
flowerchild

Agreed about internet porn, I know it can change brain circuitry regarding one’s experience of sex and arousal making it difficult to have sex with a real live person. I’m an acupuncturist, myself, so I also know about how too many ejaculations for men can deplete the jing/essence. But if someone is compulsive about it, knowing that won’t help them, I suppose…. I’ve thought of offering to help my guy with acupuncture, moxa, herbs, but don’t want to offer it yet because we haven’t even talked about any of this issue directly yet….. I think fear of intimacy is part… Read more »

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

I think Jost Sauer (Australia) changed my life, as I found his book in the state library of victoria, Melbourne, healing drug addiction – as I have a sibling with long term addiction issues, and LOL I have some too… The first acupuncturist (daoist martial arts practitioner) I saw (LOL) was specialising in fertility (LOL), treated my tiny fried body, so I actually could conceive..someone told my husband (in poor form) he’s the real father of our child, and though that is really insenstive (my husband is infertile), he treated him too, my husband was difficult, in denial and not… Read more »

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

This reminds me of the.. do the same thing and expect a different result.. adage. I’ve had some epic challenges these last few years.. wait, what am I saying.. my entire life, in review it can feel like it’s one long Saturn transit (my 10th and Pisces) interspersed with wow and amaze moments. It’s a continual evolution, as fatiguing as that can sound.. it’s exciting. An opportunity to reinvent yet again. It all comes down to summoning up the wherewithal to get in the ring again and go another round. You can do it! You have outside the box Aqua… Read more »

flowerchild
flowerchild

Thanks for your vote of confidence, Centaurus! I’m Aqua Sun, too, as well as Mercury, so hopefully I can come up with something from ‘left field’ to break me out of this stuck cycle.

Sounds like you’ve got a good outlook on how to deal with Saturn in your own life, too. Thank you for sharing that with me.. 🙂

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

On October 31st, 2012 I started living my ‘dream’. It has been an interesting 3 years with HUGE changes on a myriad of levels. I’ve had to change paths (not course) because my gut was telling me who I thought was my mentor was in fact, not, and I was right, and I made the right choice. This year has been the most intensive I would say. I’ve been sick 4 times in the past 4 months, and this weekend both my son and I are sick as dogs. We’re like The Walking Dead up in here, lol. As far… Read more »

RikaMM Member
Rika

Thank you for this post! This morning I was literally on the receiving end of a cold speculum and fasting blood draw. I knew the Saturn square was coming and did a head stand (one of my ways of coping with Saturn). Even after the mornings hypothermia of the lady parts and being in desperate need of a treat and breakfast I opted something at my favorite gluten-free bakery, a GF bagel with vegan cream cheese and felt guilty about the tiny bit of sugar added to my coffee. Sound like the components of a Saturn’s last days in Scorpio?

acquagal
acquagal

Does anyone else think this whole Ashley Madison hack is so classically Saturn at the end of Scorpio squaring sun in Leo? Sex and pleasure. Busted.

I’m riding out saturns last few days and the moons conjunction in a few hours with no drama. It put some strain on my finances but my Gemini and I are still talking and that’s all that matters.

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

Yes I have associates (women) who enjoy it purely for sex…they do not want the men…only the pleasure. I’m fine with it, but it is not at all for me…

supakaliMM Member
supakali

definitely!

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

indeed!

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

I think I know why I’m feeling better than most despite the Saturn / Sun square. I just copied and pasted this from astrodient’s personal daily transits Same Lunar Phase as in the Natal Chart The day on which the Sun and Moon make the same angle as in your natal chart is considered by some astrologers as especially fertile and favourable for conception. The exact time of this Lunar phase as well as the preceding 24 hours are considered the most fertile. But even during the 3 days leading up to the exact time women should be especially receptive… Read more »

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

Wonderful – lovely insight, thank you.

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

Does that mean for me, it would then be prior to 3 degrees of cancer plus 20 degrees aquarius sun? Would it require both the angles of the sun & moon combined? I think that’s how I read what you mention…Btw I fell pregnant after jupiter in aquarius cycle, but gorgeous child was born jupiter pisces (almost conjunct my mars chiron conjunction)… Oh and a shamanic acupuncturist (daoist martial arts practitioner) treated me…I was over 40 years old, that was seven years ago…He was very astute, treated husband for infertility…Then I was given a shamanic African (brass) totem) of a… Read more »

annica
annica

This gives me hope. thank you for sharing.

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

@Aquasunrise I can barely understand this stuff as it relates to my own chart! I literally just copied and pasted it from the dailies in astrodient. It was a one day thing. I was finally able to get traction with my writing project that has been stalled on dry banks for ages and was driving me nuts. It just felt like I’d been trying to conceive, creatively without success and it was purely coincidental I think that it coincided with the lunar thing. Although weirdly the moon is the planet who’s movement affect me the most and I don’t think… Read more »

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

Sorry – posted to powderfinger, meant to reply here… There’s another full moon coming, water conjunct to neptune, it will be opposite the sun, I have been thinking about this…Mercury the north node and maybe lillith will be all conjunct in libra? Its poetic of course, venusian too, but it will upset my cancer moon…I just know there will be news, insights, destiny…that uproot familial concerns, in my 10th house, but I’m so used to controversy (LOL) I have uranus 1st house, uranus ruled sun, uranus conunct pluto opposite mars chiron, a conventional life is not for me… Well excellent… Read more »

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

Oh my god… 2012, the start of Hell Period. Saturn through my 4th, at various stages squaring my Asc, Venus, on my IC/Neptune and soon to square my Sun. I am Sun-Saturn conj natally plus a huge Cap stellium so Saturn is pretty much my constant companion. Everything is different. My name, nationality, home, work, friends. Marital status. My relationship policy. Self-esteem. Everything. I even look different. Nothing specific like a haircut – it’s in my eyes, like my DNA has been rearranged or something. Interestingly in the last 12 months I have finally found a form of healing bodywork… Read more »

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

I hear that!
xx

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

This is the second time I endured saturn over neptune; the first time I was personal testing grounds for ambivalence, so I had some unusual experiences, dealt with death and sex abuse. Some other privileged kids I knew died from excess, I lost friends I indulged with. The was trouble with the law, unwittingly – lessons with organised crime, substances. This time around its different similar themes echo; some shadows haunt but mostly it was less external circumstance, more related to overcoming trauma, having more fortitude, dealing with paranoia, demons…thank god for internal martial arts… Not really too thrilled with… Read more »

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

OMG the Saturn in Scorp lessons. I’ve begun to make decisions based on the likely consequences in the future! IE yes I would like to sleep with that man BUT what would I be setting up and do I want to deal with that scenario down the track? Why say yes to yet more mediocrity??
I am hanging up my clothes, tidying my kitchen every day, making proper food. Going to bed at a decent hour.
Is this how some people live all the time???? Holy fuq!

Pi
Pi

Dudette ru kidding? I thought you had a cap moon which is “consequences before fun” 90% of the time.

Or maybe I really am that bad :/

5th house placements must trump a lot of other astro 🙂

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

Yes babe a Cap moon-Lilith plus a bunch of other stuff… trumped most often in love by Neptune sq Venus (loose but impactful – the square I mean 😉

In the past my Cap moon has been the joyless spoilsport rather than wise advisor…it kind of opted out of stuff to avoid joy rather than make any good decisions either way. Now I am working my Cap moon hard at the gym and feeding it magnesium, a whole bunch of stuff seems to have straightened out. (Literally and figuratively).

Libra ASC Scorp Sun Aqua moon
Libra ASC Scorp Sun Aqua moon

Last year my children were taken by CPS. They said my son made an accusation against my husband, one I know to be false. We’ve been diligently fighting against this for the entire year. Exercising our rights in ways people never knew they could. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve corporated with them as they wish. But… now we’re getting down to the final stretch and we don’t think that we’re going to get them back. Right now I feel like people are telling me to just give them my children and wait until they’re 18 to build a life with… Read more »

CentaurusMM Member
Centaurus

Hey.. that is a kind of hard core situation and I honestly don’t know what to say except I do understand leaving your kids ain’t an option.

You have the north node across your ascendant and you’ve got Saturn trawling through your Sun. Loosely, karmic or past influences related to the nodes and Saturn has this uncanny knack of delivering his gifts once you’ve done the hard yards. Am thinking perhaps.. hold your ground.. and hold your faith.

Anyways.. hope if all works out well for you.

Chaudie
Chaudie

Thank you. It’s nice to know that I’ll I need to do is stick with with. The situation has definitely been suffocating, and asking for oxygen is just going to be denied.

MutableMabel
MutableMabel

I’m a 1 degree Sag and prepping for an insane quantity of work that begins in another week. The anticipation of all the work seems almost more pressing than the actual prep I’m doing. Trying not to psych myself out. 2012 – recently was all about my last ditch effort at trying to secure myself some sort of happily-ever-after lifestyle/relationship, the cold emptiness that followed, and a super detailed and painstaking letting-go process. I do finally feel like a human being as opposed to a giant hungry mouth fueled by expectations and panic that weren’t even really mine in the… Read more »

JokermanMM Member
Jokerman

Saturn went thru my 4H. Got divorced. Left entire house n entire equity to my former wife. (l got the tools & 95% of the CDs)

I feel not much.

I got a packed 2H Stellium- mostly Virgo & I am KatSun&Asc. Go figure.
I put it down to 1-Natal Aqua Moon 2- Progressed Aqua Moon 3- Uran 1H.
Have l ever said how Uranian l am? Well……

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

I understand this; but I think my husband is pretty amazing for trying, for the most part quite decently…he is a committed father, sometimes it nothing to do with the partner the other person has a journey. It’s strange but I feel as if he would be better with a different woman ( we both know, he had this chance and hovered – I told him he should have probably tried…) I have been in love with another person for under a year, totally different, liberated me – but I don’t think I can face it. He is a decade… Read more »

LexieMM Member
Lexie

I’ve just done pretty much what you’re describing aquasunrise. Just couldn’t be with my husband any longer, it was a tough, unworkable relationship in the end. I fell wildly in love with someone two decades younger (Aqua by the way… just wondering since you are aquasunrise whether you’re Aquarian). Anyway, he’s run… kindof… I think, actually it’s hard to know where he’s at, he’s travelling, but until Venus went retor and screwed everything we were having amazing conversations from afar. We have an amazing connection and in the end I felt I had to honour it. I felt, compelled, and… Read more »

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

Thanks, Yes I’m having a test of faith, not the best. But I read here all the time people struggling with matters that seem much more upsetting, health concerns, death…dreadful. Nothing like that. Internal alchemy – spiritual, emotional revolution! I agree with you, I would be similar – risk for altruistic reasons mostly. I will find a way – it will be deeply pondered, pluto/ uranus conjunct is sextile to neptune scorpio 3rd…LOL pluto capricorn will ensure the natal pluto virgo is on the right path…I’m actually sick of being burdened with material obligation, in some ways I know living… Read more »

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

Just thought maybe your 8th house of other’s resources may be enduring a neptune transit in opposition to you mars pluto? You would need to draw upon uranian insights to weather change well…

JokermanMM Member
Jokerman

Enduring? Yes Nep Rxing backwards opp Ven (9° Vir) and going back to 5° Pisces l think. Close to my Mars/Pluto 0-2°. I got Chiron in 8H/ Aqua amd Psyche top l think. Mmmmm l check that out too.

Funny stuff being Kataka n Aqua. Feels like the Air flows one way and the Water some other direction.
I think l got a few deep Kat aspects (unseen) and a lot of broad Aqua (seen)

Your writing seems similar

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

Yes I have similar situation; Aquarius – the only air – then tons of water; cancer, Pisces, Scorpio – plus the Virgo stellium, Capricorn too…but different houses, and themes. I am ok with lack of material gain personally, I think a person can make much from nothing, emotional adversity is very hard. Jupiter is good to me; on my ascendant, optimistic mostly. It does help!

JokermanMM Member
Jokerman

I think my Water flows at 2 speeds. The Kat stuff by themselves, one speed, and the Asc trine Nep and Sun trine Jup (both in Scorp) the other speed. I also could be havong myself on.

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

There’s another full moon coming, water conjunct to neptune, it will be opposite the sun, I have been thinking about this…Mercury the north node and maybe lillith will be all conjunct in libra? Its poetic of course, venusian too, but it will upset my cancer moon…I just know there will be news, insights, destiny…that uproot familial concerns, in my 10th house, but I’m so used to controversy (LOL) I have uranus 1st house, uranus ruled sun, uranus conunct pluto opposite mars chiron, a conventional life is not for me… Well excellent for you, you have conceived the creative elements vital… Read more »

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

That was in reply to Invicta, but maybe it sums all aptly for now? If your thinking speeds, consider the karmic retrograde planets book by Martin Schulman…because it speaks plainly of how people unconsciously manifest – draw or repel attraction…concerns venus of course, but it is more like studying physics. Quite esoteric, beautiful but many cynics would scoff, sadly too many I know. This could be at a critical mass level or mundane level…or personal. Incidentally regarding the speeds of being in times, past future, present, apparently there are different phases…for retrograde planets, transits, natal… I have many retrogrades…mercury is… Read more »

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

Bizarre. Just last night I was wondering why I feel strangely paranoid and anxious, to the point of nausea. I figured it was something I ate, something emotional or something in my chart. After reading this, I checked astro.com and found that I have a lot of natal planets at 27 degrees, so the current Sun/Saturn placement is creating aspects – most significantly to natal Jupiter and Moon. Plus Saturn still conjunct Jupiter and Neptune as it has been for over six months. My spirit guide thingy has been very vocal and specific the past few days, which is unusual… Read more »

LexieMM Member
Lexie

Hmmm, interesting. My ascendant is at 27 Sag, and I feel like I’m ’emotionally letting go of some stuff’ too, before a final shift, big time. Best of luck with it all prowlncrab 🙂

The Leo Socialite
The Leo Socialite

You had me at cold speculum. i have a count down app on my phone for when Saturn leaves Scorpio. Or even the galaxy.

Taurus VixenMM Member
Taurus Vixen

I am NOT being a Love Zombie which was my fat relationship lesson. I am also plugging away like mad towards my fully funding my Emergency Fund with being almost halfway there in amazingly fast speed. Laser focus with a dollar or two saved here on a sale that money goes to it. Once I started showing the Universe I was serious then more savings rewards came my way. Learning that lesson too!

Maxene Schreck
Maxene Schreck

I have literally been planning for this moment all year. I am about to make a big move. I get the keys Sunday and start moving the following week. I have been gathering and purchasing decor, organizing and packing my belongings and coaching myself through the mental prep for so long now that I am totally okay with this discomfort. I was expecting it.

I played a variety of sports growing up and my coaches always preached ANTICIPATION. I am already plotting my next move. Bring. It. On.

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Predictably, as with Saturn transits, I’m enjoying this astro weather. Yes, it is tough but I must be perniciously weird as I feel myself more stalwart in the turning pro without TOO MUCH effort. I think I’ve just been so glum and in the proverbial doldrums in absolutely every respect, every area of my life that I’ve conditioned my psyche to just continue with the dull drudge regardless and feeling shitty is something I can do without really noticing it that much. Yes there have been uncomfortable conversations – the cold speculum feeling ones, around money, career and with myself… Read more »

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

You had me at ‘perniciously’ : )
So pleased the recognition and payoffs are starting to flow from your hard work.
Consistency is the key – just keep showing up and doing what you’re doing, regardless of how crap you feel. xx

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Ha Hey Chrysalis. Thanks, yeah, I’m not a Woody Allen fan at all but the “show up” quote does feel oddly apt right now. How’s the online dating going? If you’re still doing it… Motorcycle / music producer guy texted me a few times yesterday so “Venus Retro outa the blue” Message under D….booty call bitch boy flashes “Hi. I bought a plant yesterday and you crossed my mind” Me, “cool, what kind of plant?” him “honeysuckle” then I left the room and my phone was on charge when I picked it up again (it’s always on silent) I saw… Read more »

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

Yeah men do take energy, don’t they and sometimes it’s just too fuquing hard to be bothered especially when you have other stuff going on.

Ha the online dating…actually ok. Am treating it as a gigantic experiment (Venus in Aqua). So far so good. Who knew I could get this comfy with going to bars to meet strangers lol

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Wow Chrys that is a result! And a skill I’d like. I have a book on my kindle which I don’t have the time to read yet but it compares dating to job interviews in the preface and the idea is that you have to get used to the discomfort of the process and the only way to get ok about the awkwardness of meeting someone new and all the early dating stuff is to go on lots. I find the idea rather terrifying at this stage but kudos! It really is a numbers game and a skill that we… Read more »

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

I say that because the emotional magic woo woo stuff happens so quickly and everything gets illogical when we become cavalier romantic heros or petulant needy little clingons and it’s great to max out the area we actually do have some control over to optimise the odd of having something workable and healthy.
Wow, I’m so dull and unromantic. Ha
more Saturn on Neptune ?anyone?

annica
annica

gods kill me if dating ever gets to be like you say, a logical game of numbers. Seriously just put in an axe in my head and kill me. I can’t cope with that.

That being said i got out of internet dating in 2010 and while I’m sad I don’t have any real possibilities, I am glad I don’t have to subject myself to losers anymore.

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Hey Prince
What makes you think people doing online dating are losers?

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

I have to say I’m really enjoying it. I have zero emotional investment. It’s exactly the right thing for me to be doing now.

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Yay.
I’m chuffed for you Chrys.
And you know, each to their own and what is right at one time, is like totally not right another time. I’m so mutable that change really is the only constant for me (sic)
So I go through complete personality transplants roughly every six weeks and don’t relate to who I was a few months back.
I do think that what ever we do, it is the energy we bring to an activity that determines how much we enjoy it or the outcome.
I need to stop typing now as I’m channelling turgid cliches ..sorry ..laters x

Year of the Phoenix
Year of the Phoenix

Well Saturn has mown over my Virg asc Sun conj Pluto conj SN, Libra Jupes conj Merc conj Uranus, and then dropped the speed and double backed right over my Scorp Moon conj Nep…. ENOUGH for crying out loud!

Figure this is on top of Mid 40’s fun and games with Ur opp Ur I must be ready for a next level life upgrade!

ElectroMM Member
Electro

My Sag moon was flipping out today.

Run away!
Run away!
Run away!

ecm512
ecm512

my sag moon did that this week too! and you know what … I DID!

ElectroMM Member
Electro

I did too! Feels so good.

Laura
Laura

OMFG this Saturn return to Scorpio has been a helluva ride for me. I’m worn the f out. I have so much going on in Scorp land that this 3 year transit was bound to be a doozy for me — and it has. So glad it’s finally nearing the end but i KNOW that that last whip of the Scorpion tail will be ruthless and harsh so I am doing my Saturn duty until 9/18 and being a good girl, working on the cultivation of The Awesome and laying low until it’s past. Since 2012 I’ve gotten divorced, moved… Read more »

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

So intense…it’s like Scorp Saturn wants to make the absolute most of his encore. What an ass. I mean sorry, Saturn- I didn’t say that…please don’t hit me!!

SheRatMM Member
SheRat
ICPlutoMM Member
ICPluto

It started way earlier in 2012 with Saturn opposing my Sun. Then it went on with the Saturn opposition, and also opposition to my stellium in Taurus, this happening in my 5th house. Yay (kind of!). Just waiting for his last passage over my Neptune, and then the killer square to my nodes. I´m becoming a Saturn prepper. Live long and prosper 🙂

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

I’ll be tapping Mars to unlock Sun square Saturn treasures this weekend. Neptune in Pisces for reloading.

Jojo
Jojo

I broke it off with my wonderful sexy lover last night because I was feeling a bit used. Now I feel worse.

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo

Surgery, construction, death, marriage, family feuds, power trips…all month long. I am so tired.

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

Love to you 12HV. xxxx

aquasunrise
aquasunrise

Yes wishing more gentle times ahead for you

annica
annica

yes much <3!

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

If by clarity you mean an intense urge to off myself well then we might have an issue. I’ve pretty much been having nonstop suicidal thoughts for days, and keep seeing more and more that upsets me. I look like shit, feel like shit, hate where I live and both my love prospects appear to be yet again more disappointments in a staggering list. Saturn squares are too much for an already Saturn-heavy soul 🙁

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo

Oh no. Please no. I don’t really have a good excuse for living, but offing yourself seems a supreme lack of creativity. Really. If you are prepared to cut loose, maybe enjoy your right to exist on this planet more wildly. Like an animal. No expectations. My brother just offed himself last week. It leaves a ton of pain.

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

12VH- I’m sorry about your brother. My brother took his own life, too, although it was a longer while ago.

I used to think to myself that if I ever got too close to suicide I would just run away and live like a crazy person and that would remedy the situation but faced with it now it just doesn’t seem to work that way. I want to just get in my van and drive away until I run out of money. That sounds nice…

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo

Getting in the van and driving away would be better. My brother was working on an app to help people find their life purpose “envision and work your way toward a better life” sort of thing. I wish I could have told him it doesn’t work that way. We don’t find purpose; purpose finds us and its ALWAYS changing. The biggest most wonderful changes that happened in my life were a total accident. I never controlled life. Maybe if you drop all expectations and just observe, just barely exist, from a van or whatever, you can make it through this.… Read more »

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

I concur, 12HV. Most of the best things in my life were incidental and unpredictable. Generally born from a “here goes nothing!” attitude. It’s so easy to forget, though. And looking at the huge pile up of hardships past present and future is really getting to me. I think this is why I am such a Sadge worshiper… My progressed sun just went into Sadge a couple months ago (now approaching exact conjunction with my natal Sadge Venus), my progressed moon will be there next year and my progressed AC has been in Sadge already since I was a kid.… Read more »

dizzarinaMM Member
dizzarina

Oh, FFS, that is reason enough to hang on!

I jest, but only partially. It really does sound like you’re at the painful end of a long Pluto ass-kicking… you know, darkest before the dawn and all that.

annica
annica

Omg i am so sorry about your brother. 🙁

annica
annica

;( Hang in there AKAPluto. I was dealing with a lot of this circa 2014 myself. I suspect things can and will improve.

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Thank you. They usually do…I think?

Kell
Kell

Aka Pluto, where are you today? Have things shifted, even a bit?

Gorse has helped me -that Bach Flower Remedy in bleak times. Also pet rescues, shelters, strays. You are cherished here, and we all want to share the path with you along.

Movies- Mulan and my ever favorite in French, “The Tall Blond Man With One Black Shoe”. It’s absurd.

Hoping you stay the course with us. I battle with being the last one standing. My pets keep me going when the people fail.

Give us a shout-

Xx

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Hi Kell thank you for your concern. I didn’t mean to stir up such a tizzy on the MM blog. It’s a little embarassing. But it has been lonely in this city- I am very much estranged from my closest people and I live alone to boot. My dog actually makes everything so much better. He’s the only entity that truly depends on me. Furthermore, he is a constant reminder that dreams do come true, as he is the dog of my fantasies (I dreamt him up in my imagination long, long, long before I got him and I have… Read more »

annica
annica

I was writing my will in 2014, something that should be done anyways, saturn approved because i wasnt sure i’d be alive. I was diivying up precious items at home, giving things away. I didnt want to buy a year of Mystic or any other subscription because I felt I might be dead before a year was up. i am glad I was wrong. I hope it works out that way for you too. :3

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Prince- that was 2005 for me. I was so close to the end I actually approached a stranger on the bus when I overheard her saying her psychologist husband helps people for free if they are in dire need. It was loco. I really didn’t know what else to do. I actually don’t get as depressed as I used to but I still think of suicide constantly. Like…compulsively, I guess? I have a pretty cool therapist now who does reiki and works with the akashic records. She has been pretty instrumental in toning down my mental breakdowns. Ugh. I hate… Read more »

annica
annica

*hugs* you’re not nuts, just special like many of us here. 🙂 Now that you reminded me I hated 2005 too, but was too busy to be suicidal. I was hospitalized for moto accident and worst breakup of my life….also love of my life rejected me….family rejected me. …lived homeless in a shed for a year. The worst is when you have time to contemplate it. I survived a suicide attempt when I was about 10 y.o. amazingly same transit of Saturn in Scorpio. if you are old enough…see what you were doing the last time Saturn was in the… Read more »

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

I’m in my Saturn return so I was a baby/toddler when Saturn was last in Scorpio. I didn’t have the fairest treatment at that age, either.

My mom accused me of trying to murder my brother when I was only 2 and she didn’t want anything to do with me for two weeks until my dad convinced her to drop the BS (I put a pillow over my baby brother’s face to try to make him stop crying).

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus

Jesus, luv – hang in there! No man (or men) is ever worth that!

In your proverbial Dark Night Of The Soul, remember what i said earlier:

“The pain that you’ve been feeling can’t compare to the joy that’s coming”

I have lived through many a dark night myself, the Zap Zone being no exception – reorient your focus toward the light ASAP <3

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Yes…thank you. Need to find the light. Yeah no man is or has ever been worth my pain but somehow the heartbreaks seem to get nearer and more real every time. I suppose because I’m learning to trust people and be vulnerable all over again and it resulted in me being hurt AGAIN…I feel like a person with no skin; always trying to find a place where I can be safe from people hurting me and I guess I thought I was safe. Or maybe I am safe and I’m just turning all this into something it’s not. I hate… Read more »

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo

My brother was pushed over the edge by a Sun-Saturn-Mercury Scorpio with Venus-Mars conjunct in Virgo square Neptune in Sagg. I don’t care if she was sex on legs, she wasn’t worth it. I’m sure he can see that now. And you would too. Like, bam, oh fuq – over that loser? Duh. I am crazy. I want to feel safe. But safety doesn’t exist. We’re all going to die. Some will live with more integrity. I think all the pain is in expecting more from people. But they’re ALL fuqing insane…or is that just a week with my family… Read more »

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

12Hv- Yeah man, I was nearly pushed over the edge by many a man and I look back at all of them in disgust- all except ex Aries boy, who taught me what love was and actually still does have my back to such an intense degree I can’t really be heartbroken over him. I am, a little bit because I thought we could be together again. But he never hurt me. So yeah everyone is fucking nuts. This place will make you nuts. I just want to be one of these people with a HANDLE (grip, grasp, etc.) on… Read more »

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus

Oh honey, fuq the men – take your power back! By force, if necessary….nothing will pull you back from the edge of oblivion quite like a good old fashioned rage! This is all about emotional empowerment <3 We have all done it before…invested more heavily into a relationship than (in hindsight) we probably should have, where we perhaps gave our power away to someone who wasn’t worth the fuqing dirt under our shoe. That disparity between the emotional investment and the R.O.I. is what causes the hurt. It is a delicate balancing act between keeping our heart open and also… Read more »

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

LV, too true too true. I think this was the bit where I had to realize that just because I was finally being independent and keeping my head screwed on straight doesn’t mean the other person does! Sadge boy is an absolutely wonderful friend to me but he is NOT good at being alone. I’ve known him for years and he has never, ever, once been without a serious girlfriend or non-serious girlfriend. There is always a girl. And he is very upfront about it. He even knows that it’s bad…he just isn’t there. I don’t know why I didn’t… Read more »

JokermanMM Member
Jokerman

I don’t know your full astro. Just some of the things you say. Glad you have past that yuck of wanting todoyaself in; no answer that. But on realationships l am one who feels the need for a partner strongly. Overnight as the Moon cjuncted Saturn l played a movie in my mind (KatAsc trine Neptune -lm in love with love) abouthow Sat has done things in my 4H in tandem with Pluto opp my Asc, first wrecking my career (agent provocateur was A SuperCap Bitch unleashing on me bcos she was raped when she was 12- so l found… Read more »

JokermanMM Member
Jokerman

Well the Moon got cold!

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

PowderFinger-

I don’t think it’s wrong to want a partner, not in the least. I am a double Libra, after all!

I just hate to see people date someone not because they love them but because they need a person there to fill in the empty space. I think that’s unfair to the other person…

JokermanMM Member
Jokerman

That is an excellent clarification. Pertinent for me now. Secret Kat stuff is brewing. Stll not sure about an interest.

So your clarification is timely advice.

“l was so much older then, lm younger than that now” (by the greatest Mutable who has ever lived: Gem Sun, NN Sagg)

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Hahah I relate to that line SO hard

embarkons7MM Member
embarkons7

Yes, hang in there as everyone said. I know astro-babble doesn’t help at this point — but remember, too, that Sun-Square-Saturn will be over in just a few days, and Saturn out of Scorpio in less than a month. Here’s an old commencement speech that’s given solace to me when I tried to make sense of some dark nights. http://bulletin.hds.harvard.edu/articles/winter2006/when-wounded-emerge-healers “The gaps on the résumé are the abysses into which we fall from time to time, and in the process, fall into the hands of the living God. The gaps are when the initiations take place. It is our profound… Read more »

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

WOW. That speech is so amazing. Thank you so much. I have been in the wild country for many years. So long separated from my former interests. I didn’t know that it was common for people to waiver. I thought I was irretrievably lost.

Required reading for my fellow 7th house Chirons and 12th house suns.

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus

WOW – that is without question the most soul-nurturing thing I have ever read!!! Thank you SO much for sharing <3 “The fact is that we are perfecting not our résumés, but our obituaries” – I just had that EXACT conversation with somebody last week! I have always said that I live my life according to how I would like to be remembered in my eulogy….an occupational hazard I chalk up to being Pluto Rising. “….we need not fear these initiations, these times of breaking apart. The soul cannot grow or change without them. What the human ego or the… Read more »

skarabMM Member
skarab

This was just amazing. Jalaja Bonheim, mentioned at the end of this, is a must to read for anybody who is a student of Life, as is the mystic and poet Kabir.
Beautiful, thank you.

gemyogi
gemyogi

Thanks for sharing that. Wonderful!

dizzarinaMM Member
dizzarina

Please hang in there, AKA. If not for yourself, then for your loved ones.

Sending you healing energy. xx

ICPlutoMM Member
ICPluto

AKAPluto, you can´t write yourself off this story. Only you matter. You have to give a f@q about yourself. Everything may change in an instant. “Be here now”. xx

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Yes…you’re right. Never forget the unexpected

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo

YES – its how all the magic happens. xx

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Thank you xo

MutableMabel
MutableMabel

I’m sorry you’re struggling; stay with us.

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Thank you. Sorry this all seems dramatic looking at it now. I have bad coping skills. Trying to change that but it’s been 30 years of change…guess I’ll change forever ?

supakaliMM Member
supakali

haha, I think we do….but the last few years seem to have been particularly nonstop, hey?

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Dear god it was crazy.

Christine
Christine

Please be gentle with yourself and get some help if you need it — I’ve been working with a life coach and a therapist. It’s important that you practice self-care too — if I find myself getting overwhelmed (and it sneaks up on me and it’s very easy to let it spiral out of control) it’s time to take a break. I cope with epsom salt baths, herbal supplements, and getting out of the house to go have fun — whatever that looks like for you. I also just bought an adult coloring book which is full of positive affirmations… Read more »

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Yes this seems to be the order of the day. I get overwhelmed and I’m very hard on myself. I tell myself to relax but it seems impossible. It seems frivolous to lay around doing nothing. I actually am not sure it’s possible but I’m trying.

“Don’t try to relax. Relax-don’t try”

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo

Yeah, change forever.

supakaliMM Member
supakali

hey AkA, do you think it could just be an energy thing? Like a transit causing an intense low, but it will pass? Saturn or not, I don’t know. I had a moment like that this week, I just felt crap after being stable for the longest time, and there was a potential explanation but also I think it could have been Saturn. Anyway, it’s gone now. Hold in there for the swing love, we value you around here x

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Yeah it probably is that- The really issue is my inability to handle such things. Transiting Saturn is out-of-sign conjunct my Venus and opposing my Chiron in the 7th. When you have a chart as bundle-y as mine things tend to happen as one huge interconnected lump rather then an isolated incident. So it isn’t just that I’m sick…it’s also…everything. The house, the friends, the lovers, the absence of career, the money I owe, blah blah blah. I am hoping that the feeling of being overwhelmed is actually just how my mind is reacting to my body being weakened by… Read more »

supakaliMM Member
supakali

3 things: then Saturn and the Sun are forming a T Square with your Chiron? That could hurt. I know about the bundley chart, I have a fuq off stellium on the via combusta no less, and when Saturn went over that? oh mama. Life got real tough. It’s hard to convey from here, out the other side. I spent weeks in bed at a time, a couple of times. Breakdowns, exhaustion, fear. Anyway, I met some healers. They basically saved me. Just to begin? Rescue remedy or some like thing. Knowing you are loved, of which there is lots… Read more »

supakaliMM Member
supakali

oh, 4. what 12hv said: you don’t have to be perfect, and yeah, it’s an illusion anyway. I think all you can do is be conscious, and open to growth and change. That’s all that Saturn wants 😉

<3

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Thank you supakali. I’m workin and workin and workin on it. The T Square with Chiron sucks ass. Like I need any more reminders of how much people let me down. I’m TRYING 🙁

gbs
gbs

Several years ago, I had an incredibly intense dream–I was lying in my bed and had swallowed broken pieces of a pink plastic tea cup and saucer in order to kill myself. And as I had just finished doing this, I realized with the deepest anguish that I completely regretted what I had done and that I would do anything, any scrambling thing within my power, to get back to the life I was leaving behind. AKAPluto, as others have said, please stay with us and, as our dear Mystic Medusa reminds us, make sure that your diet, sleep, exercise,… Read more »

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

gbs- I have had dreams like that, too! And yes, woke up grateful. Because every once in a while this is all worth it…I think? I am holding on best I can…but the pressure to have perfect nutrition, health, exercise, hydration is actually one of the things that’s overwhelming me right now. I’m not healthy, can’t afford a juicer or a gym membership and even though I ride a bike for a living it is actually having adverse effects on my back health (greaaaat). How about I watch Orange Is The New Black and suck my thumb? I can only… Read more »

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo

Be easy on yourself. The Universe doesn’t demand your perfection according to the running thoughts in your mind or the minds of others. You exist. In so far as you exist, you have the integrity of being. I’m not sure even death can get you out of that. So… Venus retro has brought me closer to my beer gut and grey hair. The Universe never expected greater and really has no problem with that. So why the fuq do I? Conditioning…lies…vanity…ugh I think stepping into the Unknown is the key in these situations. My sister asked me if I suffered… Read more »

flowerchild
flowerchild

These are healing words to me as well. Whoever you are 12thHV, this is amazing, thank you, cuts right through to some raw truths in a way that I find very nurturing. And these words said even at a time when you are going through acute grief, yourself. I struggled with suicidal thoughts this year a lot too, mostly exacerbated or even brought on by depression induced from the drugs they use in general anaesthesia, which I had for a minor surgery in December. Took me six months to feel like myself again. And that chemically induced depression was on… Read more »

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Thank you for this article, Flowerchild!

gemyogi
gemyogi

So sorry to hear about your brother 12HV. And thankyou for these beautiful wise words. xx

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

Hey Gem how are you? Haven’t seen you here for a while, hope you’re doing ok x

GemyogiMM Member
Gemyogi

Hi Chrys! I’ve been slowly coming out of another muddy pond funk. Bloody Saturn. Anyway, onwards and upwards, I have a cunning plan to fix my job and money woes I’ll share with you where there’s more column width (on mobile)! Xxx

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

How does one go easy on themselves without becoming a failure? I can’t curb my hard driving nature…I’m afraid I’ll just wash away down stream.

dizzarinaMM Member
dizzarina

You do that by allowing today to be today, knowing that there’s always tomorrow. Believe me, as an Aries, this is hard-won wisdom, which I learn anew every day. You do what you can with what you’ve got- every day. Like chipping away at a rock.

PiMM Member
Pi

Hi. I’m following all of this with care in my heart for you, AKA. I also relate, truly. Specifically about going easy on yourself without “Alert!! Failure!!” Klaxons going off in our minds: I think this primarily relates to self-talk. Above all. Furthermore, developing a gut-level trust in what is right for US alone (what 12 hv said), even if this means defending that passionately but with a flexible heart. You say failure: what does success, then, look like for you? Even those who we see as blinding successes struggle with the things they have not achieved. It is also… Read more »

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Thanks, Pi. I like that about the longing for psychological death. That rang pretty heavy with me. I think these constant thoughts are not that I wish to truly die but I want SOMETHING to die. Very interesting. It’s really a big puzzle to figure out- I want to one day know when it’s time to relax and when it’s time to push forward. I don’t have a real dialogue with myself. Only ideas about what I “should” be doing. My Cap/Saturn thing is freaking too much. Ironically, all this panic and frenzy has not led to me accomplishing a… Read more »

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo

Failure and perfection don’t exist. Not that you rewrite them or modify them – but they don’t exist as facts like hot or cold or tall or heavy. Its all a mind fuck. I’ve got a Libra stellium that’s been under heavy transit. I’ve had to die to myself many times in the past few years. All my ideas. All my thoughts about how I or life should be. If I kept them…well, I couldn’t survive that. My ego couldn’t survive that. So, I let me ego die. Not even a choice about it. And, no one would call me… Read more »

GemyogiMM Member
Gemyogi

Yes, exactly!

Sofia
Sofia

Oh good lawd, talk about uncomfortable… I have an awful gastro bug so I seem to be decluttering my body as a last hurrah after much time cleaning up my thoughts and my life. I couldn’t figure out what was going on for me but it makes sense now. Thank you MM and thanks for all the comments, they’ve helped. I’ve had a huge growth spurt since 2012 which I am so grateful for, my life is very different and much, much happier. Work, love, family, the past, the future – it’s all been reviewed and worked on. So please,… Read more »

ElectroMM Member
Electro

Oh no! Stomach bugs are the absolute worst. Try crystalized ginger when you think you can stomach it. Feel better!

Gemstone333
Gemstone333

Story of my life! Natal T-Square with Saturn (Taurus) square Sun (Leo) Square Neptune (Scorpio). And my birthday was yesterday. I truly feel like I climb up the mountain, only to be knocked back to the bottom time and again. I found out late last month that my boss wants to make a change, and I’m terrified that I won’t be able to find another job. I have another month. Generally speaking, I don’t feel old, but when this kind of crap comes up, I really do feel old… and it’s scary. Since I live with this energy (from my… Read more »

ElectroMM Member
Electro

Ooof, that sounds like a rough t-square. I have one too, Uranus square sun square Chiron. On my ascendant and descendant. The fixed energy can be hard to move.

I think I’ve had the most progress this past summer. I learned some new skills (more of the artistic nature) and it’s opened up my heart and mind in new ways. Got that big old T moving along.

Happy belated, Gemstone333.

ElectroMM Member
Electro

My t square is fixed too: Scorpio, Leo, and Taurus.

Kell
Kell

Ampersand, have that Tsquare- Asc-Uranus Chiron- fixed signs. I get stuck on principles and being contrary. Disloyalty is the greatest wound to me.

ElectroMM Member
Electro

Oh, hey Kell fellow T-square soul. I’m always trying to get my kitty cat sun to get down from the Apex and chill.

Charley
Charley

I didn’t think I was feeling it but then I started thinking about and freaking out about eclipse season. So maybe it’s the astro making me worry about other astro? Typical.

embarkons7MM Member
embarkons7

It’s actually about to be my progressed new moon — literally this Sunday — so I’ve started thinking of the period from late 2012 onward as a kind of large scale dark moon period. And so yes, this week I’ve been feeling things stick to me more than usual — old doubts even though I have heaps of cool and ensouling things underway / in the works. The Saturn Square Sun business makes sense to me. In anticipation of Saturn leaving Scorpio, I’ve also been taking care of a bunch of overdue doctor’s appointment’s, which makes me feel virtuous. I… Read more »

embarkons7MM Member
embarkons7

Oh! and peeps ideas of how to celebrate and consecrate yon progressed new moon are most welcome.

Definitely scheming a mega declutter and some kind of ritual.

<3

Kell
Kell

Yes to check ups especially with deductibles met. Saturn is on my Part of Fortune, in 1st, conjunct Progressed Moon. Our latest news here in our suburban world- is low Scorp child molesters, Tea Party über Janus faced couple caught in seedy affair, more pervert news stories, and Ashley Madison. Who trusts anyone on the Internet, asks the Scorp Rising chick?! LOL!!! The story about the chastened couple is classic Saturn in Scorp, the staffer wore a wire and recorded this bizarre plot to seed a story about random gay sex behind a nightclub. The idea was that would “innoculate… Read more »

redsonya
redsonya

Wow, I am a scorpio and had major neptune transits, AND my pluto square pluto so just about everything is different or gone since 2012. Literally my entire extended family except my daughter and brother are dead or permanently gone (and the gone one’s need to be gone). Every friend I had in 2012 is gone, but my best friends from high school are back in my life and like sisters since then. But work and money has remained a pleasant constant so I am hoping that I am being set up for some great new relationship and frindships. Seems… Read more »