Ask Mystic: Could Venus In Leo Be About Self-Love?

Isabella Rossellini Mark Sennet

Dear Mystic,

I have had a burning question about partner love vs. self-love with this astro.

I am experiencing a fascinating, difficult, and exciting rebirth… I have left behind some things I was hating (graduate school, being one of them) and am exploring new career options, putting myself out there as a coach, taking on new learning in astrology and shamanism and other disciplines, submitting writing and performing in readings, performing as a dancer again. These are areas where I had been stalled for AT LEAST TEN YEARS. More, really. I am 33 years old now, Libra Sun, Scorpio Rising, Cap Moon.

I had a terrible breakup in the fall and wasted most of my Saturn in Scorp in total love zombie mode. I feel like it’s coming back to give me another chance!

This full moon was conjunct my Neptune and I did Neptunian things like workshop prepped for a performance, and Neptune is in my second house, I have always struggled with money, and I had a breakthrough in my 12-step program I recently began which deals with exactly that (a spiritual approach to finances). I am waking up, and refoundationing my life, is how it feels.

My question is this: two months ago I began this 12-step work in two areas: codependency (romance addict! raging codependent! love zombie!) and financial vagueness, debt, and underearning. Part of my participation includes the suggestion that I not date for one year. I ended an iffy dalliance with a woman I really liked (was not really functional though, she was very unavailable) as part of this suggestion.

I see your continued mentions of this Venus in Leo phase… and for both my libra and my scorpio these seem to hold great romantic promise. OF COURSE I WANT THAT TO BE TRUE FOR ME. I want this woman to come back and be available and fall madly in love, etc. BUT, is it possible that this romance is with myself? How would you suggest using this astro, and conducive is it, to happening the epic love affair with myself that I’ve never had, and finally pouring my love energy attention and power into ME?

Sincerely,
new self-lover

Dear New Self Lover,

See? i am capitalizing it. Because Venus is in Leo. And Self gets a capital.  Lover too. Okay so i think you raise a brilliant point. But first of all, congrats on your emergence from the Love Zombie crypt AND all the evolutionary activity.

Personally, I think as far as this woman goes, it doesn’t really matter what the 12 Step Shrink thinks a la not dating for a year or whatever as much as how you have described this thing: “iffy.”  “not really functional.”  “very unavailable.”   I mean what’s “very unavailable.” ???

Married to THREE different people not just one? Not just living on another continent but in a valley with no outside communication?   She is an alien who has to spend half the year on Alpha Centauri?  Unavailable is quite annoying enough.

So anyway, if you had described it more along the lines of “definitive”, “functional” and “available” – it would be fairly obvious you could love your SELF and her – right?   But i think given these fairly crappy parameters and that you are doing so awesomely with all the art & commerce, WHY even think about blocking your light with an affair bound to introduce shadowy doubts?

And you said it yourself – Saturn is going back into Scorpio. It’s either REAL and amazing- like, a Plutonic level of authenticity or it’s crumbling OR you are a human bonsai, with the stunted growth but it looks pretty from the outside.

i would also like to remind you and others who may be interested that Jupiter in Leo IS squaring Saturn in Scorpio mid-year. Jupiter amplifies. It’s like Growth Hormone for transits. So if you have even a mild hint that your personal Saturn crap involves not degenerating into dysfunctional so-called relationships based on unresolved psych issues or something, please continue with the self-love, dancing, learning etc.

If she comes back, she comes back.

But…what does everyone else think…?

 

Image: Mark Sennet – Isabella Rossellini

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JanieBird
JanieBird

Gosh, I’m a newbie subscriber as of today but SO glad I *finally* am! Forgive me if I don’t know the lingo or an awful lot about what planets are hanging out where doing their thing to my thang… But I DO know I’m a Leo woman (SUCH a Leo woman) and my moon is in Gemini (I have ridiculously huge Gemini-ness to me, ie: if I over-think, I do it with passion and intensity. If I get ranty, it’s with passion, intensity AND style). Anyway…I searched all over to see where I could ask a question but to no… Read more »

Jessica McOmish
Jessica McOmish

Welcome to the site JanieBird! Thanks for connecting with us.

Maybe he’s wondering the exact same things??

Janet
Janet

Oh, thank you! 🙂
Hmmm…
As with most things…time will tell.
Ball’s in his court now as I’m sensing that’s what’s best right now.
I honestly do believe that it’s impossible to miss out on anything that’s truly meant for you, so it’s over to you Beloved Divine.
Show me! 😉

Z
Z

I do think it could be about self-love for a lot of us. And getting romantic with people who appreciate that.

Lady L
Lady L

As natal Venus in Aries conjunct Chiron in 7th house, ON MY SOUTH NODE, self love rather than romantic relationships is in my stars. Took me a while to ‘get it’, but since I did, life has been that much better for me. I still do get attracted to someone maybe once or twice a year, but I always remind myself what I’d give up (solitude, freedom, sanity lol) if I were in a relationship. I don’t want to share my bed, home or life. If reading this makes you feel sad for me — don’t. I would not have… Read more »

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

This.

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

Do you have Pisces in your seventh too? I have its on the DC with moon and Venus in Aries closer to 8th. Relating, especially with Plutoopposition is like “hey I no longer exist because you’re pretty!” working the Aries is the work. Otherwise it’s like a carnival projection house.

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

Luckily my moon and Venusare combust anyway, so they’re just for me.

WOOHOO
WOOHOO

Do self love.

I have had brilliant astrology for romance. Even had a consult with mystic where my Astro was prime for “once in a lifetime super love”…. Unfortunately my own personal karma said no, you are going to be alone and forced to love yourself.

I reckon if you ain’t ready, it ain’t ready… So get yourself ready quick.

Oran_MorMM Member
Oran_Mor

With Leo governing both my 1st and 2nd houses, I’m feeling that a fair bit of this transit will feature lessons along these lines. Interestingly the RX covers most of my 2nd house (goes Rx conjunct my Sun in early Virgo interestingly) so I can see some revisions of my sense of self-worth incoming, and perhaps who I feel I am at heart when Venus ducks back into my 1st very briefly. Curious little sequence there as I see it, something intriguing to contemplate. I’m a little skeptical as to the notion of experiencing anything overtly romantic though. An attraction… Read more »

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Yes, what you said. Last paragraph!
Exactly where my head is at right now.

misskismet
misskismet

Libra sun, cap rising here. Really feeling the discussion – I’m known among my friends for being super independent (I’ve travelled far and wide alone, and moved to new cities where I knew no one and managed to thrive) but a Scorp recently said to me that she admired (hmm) that I could always make new friends and have very intense friendships – so to speak, my life is ‘people’ she said. I was ambivalent about it: I think it’s very true, I have friends and lovers I give my soul to, but it made me wonder if I have… Read more »

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

If you were pouring love in because you enjoyed it’s and wanting nothing in return, which is totally possible, then you be not only not Co dependent you’d be everyone’s favorite person, and then like most Leo’s I know who do this you’d hide in your apartment in pajamas and have your best friend be the person everyone else thinks you’re with while you take a bath finally or read or do nothing. At all. Alone. For about half an hour. Then you’d go spill more awesome sauce.

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

I still blame Pluto in libra for messing all of us up with this relational power dynamic crap. But that’s another conversation

Pi
Pi

Interesting thought.

ElectroMM Member
Electro

Let’s discuss this sometime over tea and under the moon. My PL is in my 11th house, yay. I’ve also read way too much into relational power dynamics in my own chart. Wayyy too much.

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

The PIAB salon.

Pi
Pi

no no no there can never be too much relational power dynamics! I am h e a r i n g you. It’s in my 4th house (IC, mentioned before bla bla) so basically Stephanie Dowrick and her emotionally-intelligent psychotherapeutic relationship writings get two fins up from me. I was genuinely shocked when my multi-gemini-uranian mother – a professional relationship wrangler- scoffed at her style. I had to explain to her very clearly that from my experiences in the family circle, what dowrick offered was exactly what this family was missing . anyway yah where were we oh yes.

moonstarkMM Member
moonstark

absolutely Self-love, especially with the VENUS RETROGRADE. Who performs self-love more than Leo anyhow? Lavish yourself (inside, not necessarily out — neptune in 2nd, gotta watch that spending). Take the time to do you fully, to the max, otherwise, you’ll never know what you’re capable of (classic codependent dilemma). That said, it doesn’t have to be a year. Quality, not quantity! Giving real attention in a conscious, concerted & loving way is what helps the Self bloom. Not sporadic, intermittent, half-arsed, “only when X isn’t around do I bother with myself” kinda stuff. Seems like you’re beyond ready to jettison… Read more »

ElectroMM Member
Electro

This venus in leo is all about the reinvention, I would totally go for the multifaceted transformations in your sphere and let the rest go. I’m scorpio rising as well, and saturn in scorpio was amazing for me. Focus on you, for sure, because you don’t want to miss it! It won’t be back for 20 years or something like that. I’m getting that same self-love vibe from venus in leo. My sun is 3 leo and it just feels so amazing. I have plans to love and rework myself over the next few months. Lucky enough, I am a… Read more »

LiberatingVenusMM Member
LiberatingVenus

Oh good – you’ve managed to hit upon a subject that’s actually been kicking around in my head for a while! Lots to say…coincidentally, I have small volumes written about this very topic at present, some of which are already published, some will be at a later point. But yes, suffice to say that self-love is indeed a biggie with this…especially as it relates to the perspective of learning that we don’t need to put on a song and dance to win others’ approbation. Appreciate yourself for who you ARE and for all that you have to offer – fuq… Read more »

LexieMM Member
Lexie

Woah! Yep! (please picture me bouncing up and down in my seat, arm waving frantically in the air like an over-excited schoolkid). Um, Libra Sun, Sag rising, same sort of shizz. Emerging from a 15-year relationship after realising it just IS NOT right for me (yes, took my sweet effing time) and grappling with a life-long underlying feeling of desperately needing to be in a relationship at any cost. NO MORE! I am newly determined to stand in my own power and not give it away to whoever. I must learn to love me first or I can never hope… Read more »

JanetteMM Member
Janette

I don’t think self-love and partner-love are at odds. Self-love is really just love in 360 degrees, the full circle, so it INCLUDES instead of excluding the self. Love in anything less than 360 degrees can’t flow, can’t fuel you in nourishing ways. Love in less than 360 degrees creates blocks and turbulence. AND…. if I were truly immersed in and solid with including myself in my own circle of love, would I even contemplate an iffy dalliance? Um… probably not. If you’ve been outside your own circle of love for a long time, the reason it’s useful to go… Read more »

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

Ah Janette, sweet music to my eyes your words are! Love me/you/us/them/it 🙂 Just like our charts & the cosmic rhythms: circular.

Fiona
Fiona

That’s genius – love!

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

Kudos for the Isabella pic – Blue Velvet forever!

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

I usually find when us humans LZ out is because the ‘potential’ of a great love is greater than the reality of a great love with said person. If it was that great, it would be this amazing mutual experience in effect, not in our heads.

Good luck with your transits!

catfish moon
catfish moon

Awe.Unavailable is unavailable. Being alone and being oneself is amazing, thinking on what one nèeds is wonderful, clarifying, and helps to call in the right one. Unavailable is not the right one for anyone ready for real intimacy and commitment.

MollyBlueDawnMM Member
MollyBlueDawn

If you want to pursue the study and practice of falling in love with yourself, you might want to connect with Jennifer Posada:
http://www.jenniferposada.com/

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Epic post Mystic and some really profound comments here.
I can’t really add anything atm.
Just wow.
And I love that Elon Musk quote in the dailies.

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

Currently in relationships with six versions of myself. Maybe 8 but I’d classify those two are more like friends with benefits.

I think I’m the one. We’ll see, that eclipse in September’s looks like I’ll know if it’s forever ever

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Are we actually the same person?
😛

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

For the sake of humanity, let’s say no because that’s double trouble 🙂

Maybe we could start a kind of xmen type gang though. Our Superpowers used for good (world domination) would be fearsome to behold 😉

LexieMM Member
Lexie

I need some of that attitude. I love it! 😀

AnkhRising8.0
AnkhRising8.0

I’ve been meaning to tell you that you & You make a really stunning couple 🙂

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

We get that a lot!

Pi
Pi

“I think I’m the one”
😀 love this
Togetha 4 eva baby! Don’t let you down!

Skye
Skye

You complete me. I complete me. With myself I am whole 😉

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

Whole unto myself and shit

🙂

LiberatingVenusMM Member
LiberatingVenus

LOL @ relationship w/ selves = friends w/ benefits!

That puts a *WHOLE* new spin on “self-love”, doesn’t it?

😆

Hey, somebody had to go there! 😛

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

Going there is integral to the process.

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

Going there is integral to the process. The only person I trust to objectify me is me!

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Dear New Self Lover, Are you me? Are we living the same life in two different bodies with slight variations? Heh heh. I’m also a Libra with Scorpio rising so of course it’s no coincidence. I, too, have been stalled for 10 plus years and finally starting to get back into my zones and put energy/love on myself instead of the endless stream of zombie opportunities. I, too, am wondering if a lover will come back to me, who is, of course, unavailable, and have years of codependency and rejection issues to untangle. I think this is all quite simple… Read more »

Prince Stolas
Prince Stolas

LOL! Loved reading your entry, but must add I must be a super-multi tasking Libra because I managed to do art shows and be knee deep in work and still found time to Love Zombie. But I am also Neptune sq Venus natally.

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Oooof. Well I guess it’s not a catch-all solution. Especially not if you have a Neptune/Venus thing!

I have Mars in Capricorn conjunct Jupiter so achievement is what keeps my self esteem at it’s highest. Maybe that is the key?

Mel C
Mel C

I have just realized I’m co-dependent in love. I just got out of a relationship and decided I’d stay single until I’d worked out how to live independently and love me. Then I realized that I’m very independent and I totally love me…that is, until I start dating. As soon as there’s someone else in the mix I revert back to co-dependency. I don’t know if being alone is necessarily the best way to learn how to have a healthy relationship. I’m currently practicing independence within the parameters of a new romance. Learning to be independent while single is very… Read more »

Prince Stolas
Prince Stolas

I don’t believe that the “higher intelligence” is so deliberately cruel. A sign that a person isn’t ready and isn’t in sync with the universe, sure….but that you purposely set yourself up to fail spectacularly would imply you actively hate yourself and the universe is inherently vicious.

PorkchopMM Member
Porkchop

I agree. I have issues with codependency too. Like Mel C, I am very independent and like lots of alone time when I am single. When in a relationship or get a new crush that all goes out the window. I also am often attracted to unavailable people and I think that is part of being codependent and a ‘love addict’. I have been working on these issues and the last guy I liked showed me all these red flags. I think I have made some progress as I noticed them right at th start. I don’t think the universe… Read more »

Tuppet
Tuppet

I have been working on this myself! Came across an amazing book which I am finding incredibly helpful… It’s about looking at your relationship patterns and breaking them… It has a very big focus on self-love/self-nurturing…. Can’t recommend highly enough – it’s called Getting Past Your Breakup. I got it a year after mine and still relevant 🙂

http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Your-Breakup-Devastating/dp/0738213284

PorkchopMM Member
Porkchop

Great book and her website is great too. I also like Pia Mellody’s ‘Facing Your Love Addiction’ – the theory is in codependent relationships one person is a love addict and one a love avoidant.

12th House Virgo
12th House Virgo

All love is self love. Love is a feeling.

supakaliMM Member
supakali

and the “love” that we feel in the absence of self-love is not love but a ruse, something more resembling dependence

#wasmarriedtoanaddict

PlutonicUranian
PlutonicUranian

Nevermind the “under-earning” because it’s much easier to address the “over-spending”. You have more control regarding what you spend than what you “earn” (in dollar terms), generally speaking. Neptune will dissipate what you “earn” whether it’s $5,000/day or $50/day. Neptune in the Second House grooves on living a monastic life of spareness. Treasures will distill to you as a result of a cloistering receptivity / emptiness / preparedness to shelter them but only if your intents are pure and your rationale is guided simply. It is the position of a steward, custodian, caretaker. Wealth is to you as a sound… Read more »

InvictaMM Member
Invicta

Truth

ElectroMM Member
Electro

Thanks for that. Another neptune in the second house here.

Lulu
Lulu

I live a very minimal lifestyle but managed to fritter away a modest inheritance when I was younger. It sounds like you’re recommending that neptune in second house people watch every single penny right? I’m doing that now.

PlutonicUranian
PlutonicUranian

Meditate on every single penny, don’t just watch it.

Tuppet
Tuppet

“Nevermind the “under-earning” because it’s much easier to address the “over-spending”.”

My new mantra!! Love it!! Trying to work out what next work wise but keep worrying about money. I love what you said. Thank you 🙂

Pi
Pi

plutonic, I don’t suppose you – one day, when the timing feels right – care to offer some medtitations on saturn in the second house! It’s been a focal point for so much of my astro readings but I still feel like I am not getting (grasping) some key thing. a blind spot, if you will.. Nothing a bit of Life won’t unpeel, eventually, I suppose.

Prince Stolas
Prince Stolas

Def if she comes back, she comes back. Don’t tie yourself to debris in a way that you can’t get loose from. Nothing is as unsexy as being with someone who doesn’t really really want you. I totally get that now. I am totes feeling you as libran sun, scorp moon. Similiar kind of issue here. I want what i want and if i can’t have it best to let everything go, but im not going to accept some “shitty consolation prize” so that inevitably means being alone, not the worst thing esp if you have had years of it.… Read more »

Prince Stolas
Prince Stolas

Oh and speaking of self-love. It has been my homework assignment to write love poetry to myself each night. Silly little lines, often short. But I think it is a great assignment. Then read the lines aloud to yourself!

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

Is that homework from Mikey? I love him!!! I met him at a taping of “Astrology Numerology Now” and I got to be the audience guest on the show. He’s so rad.

cortazone
cortazone

Yes,yes,yes! So much better to be single than in a relationship. Feel ya though, been years. But so much BETTER! and I am HAPPY!

HoudiniMM Member
Houdini

That’s quite a brilliant take, Mystic. You are first and foremost a great psychologist- you nail it and then use your astro to dismantle the faux, the outdated and the counterproductive. Love the human bonsai analogy and much more! In general, Mystic, this site is my daily Reality Check AND my beloved Magical Realm, at the same time.
~~ I love Mystic Medusa. ~~
Just wanted to say that this morning, in gratitude…

LexieMM Member
Lexie

Could not have said it better Ms, so…. what she said 😀 Thanks for summing up my thoughts about Mystic and the site so perfectly!

LauraBloomifyMM Member
LauraBloomify

Uh huh. Yeah.

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