Ask Mystic: Dating The Distant Leo

Falling In Love Magazine August 1960

 Dear Mystic,
I recently have begun a dating someone who is as he puts it “is emotionally available, but not physically available”. He is a Leo, I am a Pisces. We get along amazingly. Similar humor, moral principles, thought processes, respect, and loads of workaholic vibes. So naturally we get each other. He is super supportive and at the same time challenges me on shit I need to be challenged on. While I adore that he wants to spend time with me dating and snuggling sleepovers once a week, I am absolutely frustrated by the resistance he has to taking things more intimately.

IE; no sex. I have asked him straight up all the obvious questions. Do you have an std? Is there someone else? Are you actually into same sex relationships and not aware of it? He says no to all. It has been almost 2 months like this. I would love to be open to dating other people but I’m super loyal and can’t deal with dating a ton. Not sure if there is something in the stars here that could be putting his interest somewhere else? Or if I’m just a place keeper for the time being? I’m having a hard time having patience with this one. As it’s pulling up all sorts of insecurity scenarios in my mind.

My big question here, is it worth sticking it out to see if there is a romantic connection here? Or do I move on?

As always thanks for your brilliant input!
Hecate Rising

Dear Hecate Rising,

What a fascinating question! And i know the P.I.A.B.s here are going to be extra erudite and illuminating on this one.

Okay so if you really do have Hecate Rising, consider a spell?  Dress up as his Venus sign? Mirrors on the ceiling?  Power Hair? Okay i am jesting with the classic Leo cliches.  This MUST be frustrating as fuq and humiliating as hell.

But let us look at the bright side here. He is honest and up front. He is not playing games. Could it be that he is just packing a super low sex drive?  Like he is literally A-Sexual?  Does he get aroused during the “snuggling.”?

As a Pisces, YOU Have Saturn square Neptune all over your fishy arse for the next two years so let’s not go there with the insecurity scenarios, natural as they may be in the circumstances.

So if he is truly not into sex than you will have to friend-zone him at some point, right? If he has some savagely hot strange Leo kink thing going down,  he is bound to tell you at some point, yes?

I would give this dalliance until Mercury Direct, enjoy his company but – if sex is important to you in a relationship or potential relationship – start pulling your energy out of this. See if he comes to you with anything more.

I mean, seriously, Jupiter is in Leo and blasting toward Uranus in Aries – that’s got to shake out the HORN of even the most reluctant Leo.

The problem here is that Pisceans do so love a PROJECT – so you get could hooked into this and it becomes a kind of masochistic zombie scene, complete with him lying in bed reading Eckert Tolle to you whilst you writhe around in that week’s lure outfit – suspender belt, latex, whatever.

But what if he is  just old-school chivalrous and genuinely wants to get to know you better before becoming more intimate? How cool would that be?  Juno is on Jupiter – he may want to meet his Queen.

Remember, Saturn in Scorpio – still not done yet – is making a lot of people think more deeply re where they direct their sexual energies.

What does everyone else think?

 

Image: Falling In Love Magazine – August 1960

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Quadruple CappyMM Member
Quadruple Cappy

Thanks everyone,this whole thread has kept me amused and lol for a half hour: some great advice in there

davidl
davidl

I’m not happy with the word micropeen. Its not elegant (on so many levels). My first thought was micropene, then I thought why not just ‘penne’. Al dente 😉

Ms.
Ms.

sounds like a new form of synthetic fabric

Buckle (Aries Sun; Pisces Asc; Gem Moon.)
Buckle (Aries Sun; Pisces Asc; Gem Moon.)

Yes, I can’t feel good about using that term.

dizzarina
dizzarina

Starting slow is great, if you are both on the same page and have each communicated your needs and desires clearly on this point. Seems like you guys haven’t. Although it seems like a good idea to get him to expand upon this topic and get a conversation going, the fact of the matter is you already know you have incompatible libidos, and as someone up the thread said, it is a gift to find this out so early. Mismatched libidos is a road to misery- for BOTH of you. Just part amicably or switch to friends- with NO cuddling.… Read more »

Iris AquacatMM Member
Iris Aquacat

mmm…Ive been online dating for a bit over a month and seem to have had far too much interest from Leo men for my liking. My experience is that a few have actually been attached but were just testing out the single waters before jumping ship- one even accidentally sent me a text meant for his WIFE!!! A couple of others blew all hot n pushy charm then zip nada- as if constructing romantic missives has drained the stuffing out of them (or something better n less effort has come along, more likely). Well, good luck HR- I don’t know… Read more »

CateMM Member
Cate

One more thought–if he has high blood pressure or is on meds for high blood pressure, the king won’t rise.

davidlMM Member
davidl

Sorry but that’s not true.
Source : a male with elevated BP on daily medication that can’t keep it down.

Elevated blood pressure can cause faster ejaculation and any of you out there who’s partner feels that they have little control over their speedy ejaculation should get their BP checked.

davidl
davidl

Sorry, maybe I should have said “not necessarily true, or unlikely”.

dizzarina
dizzarina

Thank you, davidl, that is good to know

MethinkyMM Member
Methinky

If the dude is ‘physically unavailable’, then who is being snuggled up with? We all come as a whole person, with body, mind, soul etc – all aspects of The self, and a fundamentsal aspect is being denied. The reason may not even be the important thing to focus on. I wonder if this person is now calling the shots and you are not on an equal footing? He decides on what is done and when. And it sounds like not what you want. You get to choose what you do and I wish you well. I hope you find… Read more »

Tonezilla
Tonezilla

I had a flashback to my Leo ex reading this : “He in bed reading Eckert Tolle whilst you writhe around in that weeks’ lure outfit… HE HAS NO LIBIDO, YOU DO, GET OUT NOW OR THIS WILL HAPPEN! Or, he will consent to a perfunctory once a month boning session, then happily go to sleep while you cry in the shower and touch yourself the way you wish HE would. Unless you are planning on going on anti-depressants: in which case, snuggle in bed, eat carbs, get fappy and marvel at how your poontang has become an optional extra… Read more »

Lindsey
Lindsey

He’s told you he’s not available – BELIEVE him. Besides, until you know the man in the flesh, you have no way of knowing if ANYTHING he tells you is true. Electronic communication is made for lying.

WOOHOO
WOOHOO

Two months….. a man….. no sex!?!?!?!

Nope the fuq out of there!

Who cares what he says or even what the real reason is. Men don’t act like that normally.

WOOHOO
WOOHOO

P.S. I vote premmie…. that was my experience with Leo’s who don’t want sex in the past.

PorkchopMM Member
Porkchop

AND MICROPEEN FOR THE WIN!!!

(I just wanted to write ‘micropeen’ as it totally makes me LOL!!!)

Horned Serpent
Horned Serpent

Hey Porkchop, If men could choose the size of their penises, you gals would head for the hills every time we flopped the monster out. 🙂

PorkchopMM Member
Porkchop

LOL. A midsize peen is just fine!

Ms.
Ms.

speak for yourself haaha

davidl
davidl

yes x

PorkchopMM Member
Porkchop

Macropeen then? 🙂

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

I know, isn’t it the best word! I am so using it in a sentence at work tomorrow.

PorkchopMM Member
Porkchop

Good name for an all female punk rock band? 😀

PorkchopMM Member
Porkchop

Opening act: Shrivelled Weiner. Or Dick Shriveller.

I jest!

PorkchopMM Member
Porkchop

‘Maybe if you weren’t so busy playing with your micropeen you would’ve been able to get your goddamn report done on time!’

‘Why is Bruce acting like such a micropeen?’

Q: I ran into Sally at the photocopier. She seems so miserable today.
A: Bad date last night. Micropeen :/

‘Ugh. Fruit platter for the meeting. Can’t those bloody micropeens spring for a muffin basket JUST ONCE?!’

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

LOL!

PorkchopMM Member
Porkchop

I wonder when the last time he was ‘physically available’? Surely he has at some point? And when did he stop being physically available? And is it just you? Is he interested in being physically available for someone but is just not feeling it for you? Seems so strange to me… I think he wouldn’t be doing all the other stuff unless he liked you as ‘more than a friend’ but for some reason he is reverse cock blocking you lol. One thing he does seem to be showing you very clearly is one giant red flag! And you’re being… Read more »

sphinx
sphinx

Can you explain that clear communication in any important relationship is very important to you?
That you feel the need to move on if you cannot have clarity on a) sex b) what he wants in general? I think that’s fair. You say you don’t want to date around so it’s what is right for you.
Interesting comments on this thread! Good luck, xx.

Lux Interior Is My Co-PilotMM Member
Lux Interior Is My Co-Pilot

Eeee, I love this question! There are a few possibilities:

a) he is lying and there is someone else/other people (a private investigator can clear that up for you).

b) he is into you but needs more time–you need to do this bloke’s astro chart! Leo is NOT enough information. The sleazometer is your friend! Get his birth time and ANALYSE!! Such fun! Just say you’re really into asto and do all your friends’ birth charts!

c) He just wants to be friends?

Have fun!

Ms.
Ms.

I am confused, you asked him directly a series of questions and he says no and then what? does he have an actual definitive statement on any of this? because I am not fucking people right now but my natural inclination would be to very clearly outline my physical boundaries with someone so they did not have to ask such questions. There seems to be a communication issue more than anything. He’s obviously got a good reason because he is being somewhat intimate with you i.e. cuddling and regular dating, so I would rule out the not into thing because… Read more »

supakali
supakali

my confusion looks a lot like this.

plus, I rule out married, because if married and doing this wouldn’t sex be the point? well, OK, not necessarily…but I don’t think married.

also I don’t think he is being “resistant” – “not physically available” sounds like something else.

look, he could have a good reason and he might not want to tell you it this early for a good reason.

However, can you deal? I am still unclear if this is a permanent thing or no. I hope you have more clarity about that than I do, and if you do, please tell!

Ms.
Ms.

Exactly, most married men looking to have an affair of any kind (yes emotional) would not be like this, most of them are way too about the sex with NO emotional availability. I get hit on by enough of them to know. More likely: Girlfriend in another country/ In love and getting over someone not there/ Overcoming sexual assault/ Recent LT breakup/ Therapy/ Death in the family/ Anxiety around intimacy and sex/ Left the mother of his children recently etc Any of this could be applicable but all speculation from the net. I know Pisceans are not famous or into… Read more »

Horned Serpent
Horned Serpent

I am a male possibly in Distant Leo’s position. I turned 62 on Sunday but physically everything still works fine. Its been over 4 years since my last steady relationship and I am very nervous about sexual intimacy. I realized after that relationship ended that all of my past relationships had started with sex and were based on sex. Consequently I feel that we projected to fill in the gaps and facilitate the great sex we shared. I met a Crab about 2 months ago and was immediately excited by and drawn to her. We live a day’s drive apart… Read more »

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

When you find someone who respects that boundary, you will have less anxiety.
May you find someone exciting and zingy who respects your choices!

Cosmic Phoenix
Cosmic Phoenix

Props to you for sticking to your guns. Intellectual and emotional rapport needs to be nourished as well.

Horned Serpent
Horned Serpent

Thank you Cosmic Phoenix and Birdstar for your supportive comments. I am a triple Toro with a Crab Moon and Venus in Aries. It seems this is a unpopular stance, possibly due to cultural and peer expectations. ” Intellectual and emotional rapport” and humour are what can attract and hold me. Sexual intimacy needs to be there but is to me the icing on the cake not the foundation. My stance does not exclude long phone calls, frequent txts, affection, hugs, kisses,cuddles, snuggly nights over etc, but I haven’t been able to stop this being interpreted as mixed signals. Maybe… Read more »

sphinx
sphinx

Yes to communication. Hope it works out for you, HS. My partner has Crab Moon, it’s a powerful placement in a caring relationship. 😉

sphinx
sphinx

Dear Horned Serpent, this is the nature of the inverse flow of energy! By pointing out the topic clearly, we attract a lot of attention to that topic. No matter the topic.
It’s not really her ‘fault’ or yours in that sense.

If you like her, just be really chilled on the topic and laugh at her, give a massage or do something ‘root chakra’ to address that aspect of her energy field. Her root chakra is confused that you don’t want to talk to it.

Horned Serpent
Horned Serpent

Yes, I agree with what you are saying. I certainly don’t want to make this a blame fest. Its not the usual run of the mill scenario and so its bound to get a bit bumpy at times. The root chakra idea has lots of merit and I already dusted off the massage table in readiness but that opportunity has not arrived yet. I had considered doing both the massage and root chakra together. I have a feeling we will get together again in a few weeks. In the meantime, it has been truly serendipitous to be involved in this… Read more »

sphinx
sphinx

Haha, you sound awesome!
I hope she can be patient for her sake, 😉

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

Ah, but the difference is that you are communicating your position. Apparently, from what we’ve been told, the Leo is stating they are ‘physically unavailable’ so he is choosing to be vague while scoring the emotional intimacy without actually BEING emotionally intimate.

As a fellow Taurus I’m with you about stating your position clearly and if those boundaries are not honored leaving the meadow for greener pastures. Don’t knock anyone over when you charge out of your situation now ;P <3

Pi
Pi

yes. It wasnt clear to me if the distant Leo was being clear about what was going on for him. with miss Pisces up there

DblSag
DblSag

“Why choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with you?” http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes

Alouetta
Alouetta

I’m confused. Have you asked him if he wants to have sex with you? I would see that as being more useful than asking Mystic, as enjoyable as her response is. If you have and he’s answered something like ‘I just don’t want to’- that’s the answer. And if I heard that I’d get out of there. In the early days of a relationship sex is god.

Aquarianne
Aquarianne

Have you ever been invited to his place or been introduced to his friends or workmates?

Ask him directly if and when he will be physically available

pi
pi

Yes. Are you a dirty little secret, miss Pisces? do a dispassionate reality check. X

pi
pi

Note. nothing wrong with this as such as long as expectations match on both sides.

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

This bird. I could place a personal ad that said – “looking for someone comfortable and supportive, will exchange for food. Specific strings attached!”

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

That was a reply to charley, soz I’m not hitting correct buttons yet. 🙂

Charley
Charley

Haha Bird I actually reconsidered my reply after I hit send. I know many people who don’t!! Although it sounds like this person sure does.

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

maybe there is one person who can unify themselves with us, i don’t know if anyone has given up on that entirely, its pretty pervasive. but i think you have to have your ish pretty together to be able to perform yabyum and join the cosmic wow,

i wish everyone the best in their quest, the grail, not the con kind

Charley
Charley

Who wants someone who isn’t available in all the ways? Step away and see what happens.

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

Um, I’m just going to throw this one out there. Maybe one person just wants that one specific way of relating, for whatever reason And you agreed to it. But not really. You want more. If I could have a once a week snuggle buddy I’d be psyched, but that’s me. Don’t say you’re okay with something you’re not okay with? You want more . There’s no need to go fishing for reasons. “I won’t have sex with you but can offer this” “ok, cool” (maybe he means yes) Nope. Just let what people say and do be what they… Read more »

birdstar
birdstar

if we’re working on neural retraining and the sacred feminine, can we work on training ourselves to not look for reasons outside of ourselves to explain how we’re disempowered? i mean “he’s just not that into you” and “he’s married” are kind of our go-tos as a result of conditioning and historical repeated patterns. on the larger view, what if we looked at how we’re participating in this? how we try to make someone who offers us “We get along amazingly. Similar humor, moral principles, thought processes, respect, and loads of workaholic vibes. So naturally we get each other. He… Read more »

Cosmic Phoenix
Cosmic Phoenix

Are you painting again? 🙂

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

More just sketching and plotting. Paint costs money 🙂 writing and doodling have no overhead

Cosmic Phoenix
Cosmic Phoenix

🙂 Not sure if you ever stopped doing that, I just remember the painting convo. Art makes life better, eh?

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

life is art! at least thats where i’m headed 🙂 just as i had replied i remembered that i had some oil sticks tucked away and i am set up with radiohead now. i’ll let you know how it goes! i had stopped because i didn’t have the physical strength to do it. but i’ve been working on my handwriting since september, its getting way better, and my typing is even getting less horrid. so the arms are stronger, the heart is still already strong. saturn was in my third when in scorpio. i have work to do still, but… Read more »

Saoirse KirkeMM Member
Saoirse Kirke

That,wasfun

Cosmic Phoenix
Cosmic Phoenix

Good! I am so glad to hear it. xx

Missyleo
Missyleo

OK, sorry to break your heart here. You may think you’re “dating” that Leo hottie but you’re not. We Leos don’t even think we are dating even after we have had sex with that person. I understand that every match is different blah blah blah but Leo and Pisces? Leo and Cancer? Leo and Aquarius? We have great conversations. We understand each other. We have plenty of “aww” moments but seriously, we are much better off being friends. That’s what the Leo hottie has been trying to tell you for TWO MONTHS!

AKAPlutoMM Member
AKAPluto

haha I love how everyone is like:”It’s his malfunctioning/inadequate penis!” Let me tell you something… That book “He’s Just Not That Into You” is a must read for any Piscean/Neptunian gal. Sure, there are exceptions to the rules…and things can change…BUT most of the time not really. My story: I reunited with a boy I was infatuated 10 years ago but lost touch with. I didn’t go for him back then because I was 18 and chubby and he was 24 and smoking hot. 10 years later I am looking good and feeling confident. We end up reconnecting, hanging out,… Read more »

Iris AquacatMM Member
Iris Aquacat

great response! if someone is WITHHOLDING what you want or seek from them and you have communicated your needs clearly, then just walk away. Actually, fuq it- RUN!

JupiterRuledMM Member
JupiterRuled

I’ve got one of these dudes in my rotation right now (he’s a Saggo/ Saggo rising). We totally vibe and have mutually agreed to friend zone-it for the time being … He is working though his Saturn stuff (and me too!). We cook , have outdoor play dates, watch movies/ play games, he sleeps over, we cuddle, he flirts, I flirt, etc. For the first time – EVER – I’m building a foundation with someone I’m attracted to. Don’t get me wrong – I’m available to other people, but I am really enjoying the friendship that is growing between us.… Read more »

Horned Serpent
Horned Serpent

With you all the way on this one JR. I’m a highly sexed triple Toro with a Crab Moon and Venus in Aries. I posted below before I took time to read the whole thread and said: ” I realised after that relationship ended that many of my past relationships had started with sex and were based on sex. Consequently I feel that we projected to fill in the gaps and facilitate the great sex we shared.” I am still up for a sexual relationship but for something long term I don’t want it based on sex. Many of my… Read more »

JupiterRuledMM Member
JupiterRuled

It’s very difficult to not follow the crowd on this one, but I know I’m doing the right thing for my future. Realizing my previous relationships were shallow (by my definition) was a wake up for me. I’m glad to know my position is not THAT uncommon and your comment helps me to feel more confident as I continue to move along this new path. I wish for you what I wish for myself – May you find the one who really sees you and loves what they see.

Pi
Pi

just occurred to me earlier , there was a useful piece of advice I read somewhere : ‘when someone reveals themself to you, believe them.’ Whatever his reasons, he has said specifically that he is not physically available. So if physical /sexual involvement is an important part of togetherness for you, then he simply cannot / is not offering you the ingredients you need. tempting as it is to wish to enmesh yourself in his reasons, if he’s not being any more forthcoming, you have to ask yourself does this thing even have legs. Admittedly 8 weeks is not long… Read more »

Prince Stolas
Prince Stolas

Yes! This! Usually when a guy tells you straight up that he is not avail or whatever, he usually means it. Also, he is telling you that to assuage whatever guilt that may come up after he takes you for a ride. That way he can say “look. I told you so!”. Don’t take it as a challenge. Take it as the truth.

Pi
Pi

I keep thinking of that film, 500 days of summer. She says at the outset, so I’m only really up for casual stuff right now, then he spends 18 months as a love zombie because it wasn’t what he wanted to hear or could grasp while zombing out. And ultimately driving everyone insane.

dizzarina
dizzarina

Reminds me of Betty Draper on Mad Men: “I’ve learned to believe people when they tell you it’s over. They don’t want to say it, so it’s usually the truth.”

Pi
Pi

yes. and it’s often a long ride (in life) getting to the point where you realise you are better off believing them, too.
I uttered this once, wistfully, at work somewhere –
you can’t *make* them love you

(to which a male lovely-Libran then-colleague responded, “no matter how hard you try!”)

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus

OK, I’m going in for the kill here:

With Mars currently squaring Neptune, I would wonder if he might have an E.D. issue? You know, can’t get “it” up?

I’m not making light of anything, you understand – it’s an honest astro-speculation as to why he’s being the “perfect gentleman”. If you’ve confronted him about everything else and he’s denied, unless he is lying this would be what I put my money on.

The question then becomes: Is this a deal-breaker for you?

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus

Aaaaaand just read the rest of the comments and that saw hermes26 beat me to the punch! Yup, I *totally* cosign that shit!

Prince stolas
Prince stolas

Could be that he’s not into sex. I dated an aqua like that. 2 yrs of blue box. 100% not worth it.

Also he could have ED if he is older.

Or secretly married….

But tbh 2 months of waiting is not that long. You say you have sleepovers 1x per week? That means you have only hung out 8x. That is not enough time to establish intimacy for most people. Great if you just thinking about hitting it though no strings attached!

Jessica McOmish
Jessica McOmish

Yes, some men have very legit reasons for not wanting to go there. I’ve dated a few men who wanted to be involved/dating but not fuq, who I’ve had to basically ply with alcohol to get into the sac. It’s frustrating, but here’s what I’ve learned. Guy 1: Didn’t want to be in a relationship, and didn’t want to do the wrong thing by me. (Capricorn Moon). I wish I had listened, because he was right – he didn’t want to be in a relationship. He wanted a flirtatious friendship while he sorted his life out. Fail. Guy 2: Wanted… Read more »

Lady L
Lady L

Run. Don’t look back. I speak from experience, as a fellow Pisces sun. Mystic is so right. Don’t we Pisceans love a bloody project. Don’t we just loooove ‘fixing’ someone (while un-fixing ourselves). Nup. No more. ALSO, I am one of those people over-careful about who I date let alone sleep with, but if I want someone, I WANT them, and yes – two months is enough time to know. He is either married/not enough into you/has issues. If he has issues, he can sort them out in his own time. Not your responsibility. Keep him as a friend if… Read more »

Pi
Pi

This is very well put. Succinct and puts the onus on the other person to be mature enough to deal with their pre-existing intimacy issues in their own time and not bring it into a new rrelationship for the next overly-giving person to tie themselves in knots over.

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

Yep – spot on re Pisceans and projects. We do love a good rescue mission and sheesh once we put on the Neptune goggles and spot the nanoparticle of potential, we’ll put up with all manner of real-world crap. I am Neptune opp Jupe so I’ve got some absolute horrors in the back catalogue.

MutableMabel
MutableMabel

I think that after two months of weekly snuggly sleepovers you should know for sure why he’s not sleeping with you.

Also, of course it’s bringing up insecurity issues! How would it not? That’s not your fault. You’re not supposed to be too cool to care that this guy is shady. This is how all manner of bad things happen to Pisces who otherwise know better.

The Venus FlyMM Member
The Venus Fly

If he was all over her relentlessly, he would be ‘rushing it’. If he states he’s physically unavailable, he has a micro penis. If I may be honest? If he wanted to ‘woo’ you he’d be doing exactly that on every level. He wants to share emotional intimacy but not sexual intimacy and he claims that so take him on his word – he’s just not physically interested. However, it seems the Fish Lady IS into him which is why she’s sending in for advice to see if he’s worth ‘holding out’ for which is your answer in itself –… Read more »

capala
capala

great advice. well everyone’s actually.
leave the country?? i fear from experience you must be talking about my country. even if you’re not, you are. omg. this hadn’t occurred to me. leave my country…

alicea
alicea

I’d suggest reading a great book called ‘Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay’ – it’s an oldie, but you can get it on Kindle. It’s a basic diagnostic tool for when you have relationship ambivalence, which you definitely do (and it’s soooo common … so don’t think you’re alone!). I’m a Leo female who has been gently wooing a Leo male for ages. I know he adores me, but it’s been a long, slow process of winning his trust and letting him know that I won’t trash his ego. This includes the physical side. It’s taken two years… Read more »

bull with sting in tail
bull with sting in tail

I dont know your sun/rising/aspects, but your considered non-judgemental reply , with liberal (surprsing) self effacing anecdotal consideration doesn’t scream leo …. but it purrs something velvety and warm that made me read it again… bravo

alicea
alicea

Libra 🙂 … and thank you

Jokerman
Jokerman

What l call the Federer / Sampras axis

Charley
Charley

All the Leos in my life (there are many) are all of those things and more AND super carers. They always make me feel so much better about everything!

Superleo
Superleo

Been there , dealt with that. Micropeen.

cosmic fleece
cosmic fleece

My firs thoughts too … Or premmie.

tw:leoMM Member
tw:leo

“micropeen” is my new favourite word. i can’t believe i’ve never seen it before.

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

Me too! Love it!!

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

…ok this hit a bazillion buttons for me. You have just described the beginning of my relationship with my (now ex) husband. I was charmed and wooed and seduced with the non-bed stuff and found myself questioning whether sex was ‘important’ enough for me to ‘quibble over’. The charm offensive messed with my head big time, so I compromised my true self and spent years trying to get him to be interested in me. It ate away at my sense of self, caused untold arguments and problems in the marriage and ultimately was the downfall of the relationship. As well… Read more »

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

…also, you say your sleepovers are once a week. Do you have a regular ‘night’? If so, are you sure he isn’t married?

saturnplutoflux
saturnplutoflux

it sure sounds like it…

InParis
InParis

Were we married to the same man?

ChrysalisMM Member
Chrysalis

Hmmm… well he is so sneaky I always said it would never surprise me if he was living some bizarre double life somewhere else… AND he does spend several weeks every year in France!! 🙂

hermes26
hermes26

I would guess erectile dysfunction / micropeen / asexual. However if he is denying all these, what does he say when you simply ask , “why won’t you shag me?”. If he won’t answer, your relationship has already failed on the communication / openness level and walk away. If it is something he is willing to be open about and work on E.g. erectile dysfunction I encourage you to be patient and stand by him.

io
io

I endorse this comment. I would also say Asexual/Micropeen/other physical issue.

Don’t settle for a relationship without sex if you are into sex. It will absolutely torture you.

I think two months in enough time to be getting down, or at least be getting close to getting down.

Then again I think 30 mins is enough time, but I’m a taurus.

hermes26
hermes26

I SO agree. Gemini here. Two months is forever. My (now husband) held off for a few weeks and I also was wondering “What’s with this guy!?” turns out he was just seriously nervous as all heck because he’d been celibate for about 3 years. Too nervous to function so to speak. Things were all good once I reassured him though. I hope it’s the same for Hecate Rising. But if he’s not willing to at least be open about what his issue is, it’s not sounding good.

Taryn Tantra
Taryn Tantra

Yes agree! ‘ASK’. Communication dear Pisces (my sister is Pisces…same issues arise – so to speak).

I know Leo’s & they pride themselves in the sack, so if he’s not pouncing, he lacks the ‘self esteem’ thingy…erectile maybe?…under performance anxiety in the past?

Ok let’s see how you go….
X

Taryn Tantra
Taryn Tantra

And now that I’ve read your piece again, Pisces – I’ve held back above (because my sis never listened & had to learn her relational lessons as we all do)…you say it’s bringing up issues for you?

I feel you need to step away and feed your soul; face what these issues are before you go diving deep into trying to get se

Taryn Tantra
Taryn Tantra

Into an intimate relationship with you. (Oops! I’m on iPhone, keep getting interrupted – anyway wishing you empowerment & courage to step away from him if the next chat doesn’t resolve to meet your needs.

Catzai
Catzai

Nope. Nope. Nope.
Every woman needs to feel sexy, desirable and wanted. This will impact on your self worth and esteem. Trust me on this – High tail it outta there.
xo

RuthMM Member
Ruth

Ok, I’ll be the 1st to comment…….He is married.

JRSyd51MM Member
JRSyd51

Oh, that certainly sounds obvious now you put it out there! Classic physically unavailable scenario.

My take would be: if he’s not that into you, he’s not that into you. Don’t waste your time-2 months is more than enough. Just be friends-if he wants to be more then it’s in his court and he can pursue you (infinitely more preferable anyway).

RuthMM Member
Ruth

lol, yes perhaps, but either way it’s a ‘don’t waste your emotional energy’ type senario!

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