Victory Over Qi Vampires

Rene Gruau

 Dear Mystic,

thank you, THANK YOU, for this amazing list of ways to lovingly exorcise qi vampires!

I’ve been battling one hell of a manipulative/hostile/pass-agg/whatever, you name it – she has gone there – qi vamp for three years (our tumultuous bff/frenemies relationship morphed into a business partnership because I thought I could save/change her), & finally, thanks to your wisdom, had the willpower & confidence to cut ties & prance away. my 12-card tarot readings last month said to strategize on the next saggo new moon, so this morning I meditated on detachment & how I don’t need anything from her–not for her to hear or believe me, not for her to change, grow, apologize, or “forgive” me, anything! because I finally see how I can’t change her.

lo & behold, this afternoon she sent me her most ridic email yet. My double-aquarius partner helped me draft a professional & minimalist exit, & I have smudged my house/lined salt at the door/am currently on a cleaning binge.

praise be to the saggo new moon! praise be to the zap zone!!

infinite thanks,
~gem moon/kataka sun/lionness rising

My Dear Gem Moon/Kataka Sun/lioness rising,

She morphed into a business partner? Holy Hecate. That would be extremely difficult to unravel but you DID IT!  I think that, with Qi Vampires OR any situation that is vamping your Qi, identification is two thirds of the issue. For instance, if you are a Love Zombie, you are your OWN Qi Vampire unless you are using it to fuel transformation.

But basically once you have grokked the situation, the actual ending is relatively easy. It’s the confusion and soggy feeling when you don’t know what’s going on but you always feel like there is ill-defined thing that you have to make amends for.

“A toxic person robs you of your self-esteem and dignity and poisons the essence of who you are. He or she wears down your resistance and thus can make you mentally or physically ill. Toxic people are not life-supporting.”  Toxic People – Lillian Glass.

Go you! And yes, with the Zap Zone switched up to the max setting now and till April, who even has the TIME for these creatures?



Image: Rene Gruau

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I had to detox my life from a MAJOR QiVampire this past year. Heck, it took an entire year to do it! Finally ejected the person this week. Unfortunately It was my mother and I ended up having to take her to court all year, she wanted to take WAY more then just my Qi and she ended up mostly achieving her goals. Toxic poison people need to go, get em out no matter who they are. They will not see their own responsibilities or cause/effect. A vortex of misery and difficulties is created by being in their gravity pull,… Read more »


I have Venus/Uranus conjunct, which is poison to qi vamps. I’ve had more than my share of them over the years. My Libra Moon will give them the benefit of the doubt for a while – to keep the peace, of course.

When they go too far, my Moon turns into a Nasty Northwesterly, and Venus/Uranus activates. They get sooooo upset when this icy blast of air hits them, but they don’t come back. I’m a Leo Sun with Mars conjunct, and they know better than to climb into a lion’s den.


I attempted to deal with my own primary Qi Vampire last week, & it didn’t quite take. I made progress! I am NOT her maid of honour! (I am a casual friend at best, but she’s very demanding & is terrible with boundaries.) I agreed to attend the wedding, though, because after half an hour of explaining that We Are NOT That Close!! I was worn out. It felt cruel. I’m skipping the rest of the saga, because it’s sad & 1-sided. It didn’t feel right to post. I don’t know where to go from here. I can’t tell if… Read more »


I am a dealing with few right now, nowhere near the level others are. I think Qi Vamps in the family are the hardest to deal with because of emotional investment and love.
Doing my best to not engage in the game that Qi Vamps like to play, it ain’t always easy!
I think the holidays bring out the trolls, and vamps in full force,lots of sadness, bitterness and resentments come out.


“It’s the confusion and soggy feeling when you don’t know what’s going on but you always feel like there is ill-defined thing that you have to make amends for.”

Ugh, yes yes and yes. Working on drying myself off from that soggy feeling right now!


I have been seeking inside for past few months for understanding and I just can’t get it. Perhaps I am being stubborn to something inside me that I need to change ASAP! But I just can’t see what it is?! So I turn to you, the ever so wise community. Few months ago I got into an argument with a Qi vampir-ish person. To be honest, I don’t know her capacity to the fullest, since I knew her for a short period of time and didn’t care to find out how far it can go. So at the first whiff… Read more »


Advice for the future keep any Qi Vamps away from your close friends. In fact don’t introduce them to anyone, and keep them separate from anyone you know.
I learned the hard way.


wow that is a beautiful and simple advice! I guess somewhere deep inside I knew from the start she is a Qi vamp. In fact, I stayed away for the first few months of knowing her. I should have continued on that path. But it wasn’t yet obvious. So by the time I intro’d the old friend and the Qi vamp, it wasn’t yet clear. We didn’t yet have the “fight”. After writing this, I realized that I think what I am struggling with is diminishing in respect for my old friend for putting up with Qi draining nut bats.… Read more »


by the way, me and the old friend NEVER talk about the Qi vamp or the fight. She in fact avoided bringing up her name around me forever until I felt that it was affecting our friendship and I told her it’s OK to talk about whatever she wants to with me. And she admitted that she wasn’t sure and it was awkward, but appreciated my openness. However, I felt that it’s as if she was afraid of me?! And in some ways herself felt that perhaps it’s odd that she stays in touch with the Qi vamp


hard to say…I’ve been in this situation way too many times myself. I try to keep a healthy distance from others esp. when I feel drained around them.


My guess would be your friend is afraid of a) being called on her poor choices, b) feeling weak herself because you successfully walked away from that person, or c) being put in the middle somehow, especially if deep down she knows the other person is indefensible.


I am so impressed with how everyone above is relating to this, and being so honest. Some of these situations sound so challenging, and I think we can all be qi vampires at times when we really need some help. Whilst I haven’t been homeless, there has been chronic illness, abusive partners, etc, and through all of that I was most likely that way myself, even just through needing to talk to someone! But there is a particular person around me now who I would love to get away from, and cannot due to their relationship with a close relative.… Read more »


She sounds like a t Qi vamp to me. I was in same situ with a woman for *10 years*! I felt i had to put up with her BS because she was the wife of very close friend of the family. After 10 years of me being completely undermined by her in the most evil and underhanded ways, i called it a day. Cut off all ties with her and her husband. I wish I had done it a lot sooner. For a long time, I thought that maybe i was being hyper sensitive and wondered if i had… Read more »


Hi, pi here. I know two people like this. One might have either healed a little, or gone underground or bit of both. The other has some ingrained ways and exactly like you say , only the target picks up the insinuation. I described a particular conversation to my multi air relative (blissfully detached, I know i complain but times like this it is the only antidote to weird emo manipulative slippery “maybe it’s me and i should apologise/grovel whatever” ) Air relative says “she sure picks her mark doesn’t she ” Those slippery ones, they just know. One a… Read more »


A good way to deal is to go completely aqua. “What I am hearing is that you are feeling upset that you didn’t receive x from person y. Is that correct?” If you make them be direct it sort of torpedoes their agenda of slime. Takes practice / I guess


Yeah, sure there are tactics – but no matter how prepared you are – they always know when your guard is down to slip in their poison dart.
They operate like viruses – you can’t use the same form of protection against them more than once or twice – they develop immunity. And they are surprisingly adept at finding new ways of feeding off you.



gemini cat

I had a friend exactly like this while I was a student. She originally taken me up as a some kind of “project”, as I was a visibly depressed person who didn’t engage with people. Everyone regarded her as very positive and friendly, so I was so confused when the cunning insults started. I figured they arose from some insecurity of her own, but they still hurt. She also started talking about how she had gotten into physical fights with girls in competitive situations before, which put me off talking to her about it straightforwardly. So I had to just… Read more »

gemini cat



What IslandGirl describes is so true – I feel like I’m the only person (the prey) who sees through the “charm” – I’ve stopped trying to tell anyone about it because for the most part, others brush it off as her being a ditz or whatever. Which is not the case, she knows exactly what she is doing – I have achieved a fair deal through my own hard work, whereas she has lived off others and still has nothing, and now I am between her and something she wants. And now that I have finally said something in response… Read more »


I have a hard time knowing whether I was a qi vampire or toxic person in certain situations in the past. A few years ago while still in college I had a serious bout of depression and was suicidal. I didn’t know how to ask all of my friends for help so I sort of just started to separate, I think this must have hurt everyone’s feelings. It seemed like out of my control but I someone how got into a couple of fights with girl friends and people I STILL absolutely love. I’ve now moved away and can’t see… Read more »


I sympathize, I’ve lived similar. And maybe you were toxic. But normal people reflect, question, change and atone. Professional sociopaths obscure, blame, harm and cruelly manipulate. You sound like the former, owning toxic energy regardless of extenuating circumstances. As far as not knowing if you were a vamp or just in their cult, don’t forget birds of a feather shit together. If you were emitting vamp gas at the time, then other vamps smelled it and flocked to you. And if you were a vulnerable soul, then you probably attracted a hungry swarm. Also I understand you’re mourning what you… Read more »


“If you were emitting vamp gas at the time, then other vamps smelled it and flocked to you. And if you were a vulnerable soul, then you probably attracted a hungry swarm.”

Crikey mate, I got scared just reading this bit!


This kind of questioning is really hard because most people are Qi vamping when shit is going down BUT there is also being an awesome friend, the line is where shit gets tricky. I mean when you are going through real things like that, you need other people. Its what makes the world go round. The boundary territory for the more serious situations and outcomes is the tricky interpersonal territory. I’ve definitely had times in my life where I probably was, but I always had something massive to content with because I know that deep down, I love people, pay… Read more »


The quote above describes my husband to the T. I am using the saggo new moon to untangle myself from 22 years of toxic crap. It’s hard but I’m determined.


Well done libralady, try and get as much support around you as possible. Not sure where you are but we have Relationships Australia in this country and they are great just for working on our personal stuff i.e. our relationship with ourselves.


Thanks Jicky. I live in Australia so will check that out. Thanks so much for the info.
Hope all is well with you 🙂

Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot

Blessings to you!

Well done!

I’ve been through similar and it is LIBERATING.

No-contact is a v.good policy IMO, that and salt+mugwort are your friends.


Perfect timing as always. Saggo candour talks to myself as I have been my own worst Qi vamp. Yes to detaching from current stitch for a while and oracle says purge and clean so I did. even my dear little white apple mac is shiny now. Oven tick, balcony tick, doors tick. We have a council chuckout at the mo so again perfect and I am NOT going to pick up any junk “just in case”. Been there done that. No more. Also saying no to charity and looking after my own charity case – moi. I have done plenty… Read more »


Excellent quote and well done to you for extracting yourself from that space! Been there done that! Escaping the qi vamp is the most loving and generous thing you could have done for yourself. I have been feel pretty shit with myself recently. After meeting the leo dude after many months who i blatantly ignored (such childish behaviour from me) – in my head at that moment I was angry with his sister (her behaviour is like a movie that plays in my head and often I can feel the sharp edges of her icy words). Being Libra rising, me… Read more »

The Baroness

Your honesty is so refreshing. I know so many who feign positivity. People buy into because of the smile but their words and thoughts are toxic. That you could see through the illusion of yourself is liberating and deeply beautiful. Good luck, every day is a new day to connect with the beauty at your core. Good luck with healthy boundaries, too 🙂 <3


I grew up with a qi vamp mom and unpredictably abusive dad and pretty isolated from the outside world. they insisted I couldn’t make it on my own when I grew up and i was forbidden to leave home unless I was married. Of course I got married at 19 and moved out but of course he was abusive and controlling and marriage didn’t last long but I was determined and I kept going without looking back. Now 20+ years later im a single mom in bad health, so bad I can barely work, can’t date or do social things,… Read more »


Dear Anon, it sounds incredibly challenging and you must have to make superhuman efforts to stay positive. Do the children change the equation at all? Do they prompt the parents to show their loving side and muster up some decency?


My parents do make more of a effort in front of the kids to behave but even then sometimes I have to explain to them why grandma an grandpa act like they do because they take it personal like kids do. When they are jerks to me when the kids aren’t around I try not to let my being upset show to my kids. Its hard. I have a counselor i talk to. Thank you.


Hi. I’m so sorry about your situation. I have been listening to meditations by Kelly Howell on youtube. There is a good one about healing. I hope you can redirect some of your thoughts. Mystic Medusa always says “health is the first wealth.” You should try your best to be a loving mother and get healthy. Don’t worry about the past, try to stay present and heal!


Thank you. I had about 15 good years between my divorce and getting sick when I was independent and active and “normal” (this is when i had my kids) and sometimes it makes me sad tk think of that time but mostly those memories of that time make me happy. I am so glad for those 15 years and all the living I did then!


I will check out the videos, thank you!

Jumpin im

Hi anon – meditate by visualising or imagining your own good health first and foremost, and add a protective barrier around you that that let’s love out and protects you elsewise. Find a way to believe with your whole heart in your wellness as if it exists and it will begin to happen. And then keep up the meditation – find all the free ones you can! or find a group. It makes for major change. xx


Thank you I will keep trying xx

The Baroness

I went into the homeless shelter system due to Qi vamps. It was a rough ride but it eventually gave me access to services to build my life up from nothing. I refused to ever tolerate that energy in my life and though it took aeons I eventually built that life. I understand the lure of the 8 of Swords mentality, but life force is stronger, even stronger than ill health. Good luck.


Were you sick too when you were homeless? And with kids? There aren’t any shelters near me. We would have to go far away to get to a shelter, like an hour drive. What I know of shelters in those cities, they close during the day so I would just be outside in the winter. I can’t sit or stand or walk for long so I think k where would I go to lay down outside in the winter? We would have to live in my car. But cars take gas and gas takes money. I need more than luck… Read more »


I am glad you made it through and out. You are one of the lucky ones.


I seriously feel for you, I have toxic parents (even a phone call used to put me into suicidal depression which of course they blamed on my “illness” which eventually led to me losing custody of my daughter) and a recent 3 yr stint of bad physical health nearly left me on the street as I could not get any official support…I know things feel impossible when it takes all your strength just trying to stay upright and breathing, but there are people out there who want to help. Even strangers. I am now well enough to know that but… Read more »

Sweet sanity

Dear Anon, your post really hit home. I had a similar situation for most of this year. With a 4 year old and 7 month old. My health has improved thank goddess but i live in fear of it degrading again. I wish you all the strength in the world and hope you can find some relief soon.


What about financial aid from the government? Not sure where you live, but here in Canada there are a lot of resources for people with health issues and dependents. Maybe even a bit of practical help can ease you enough to not have to depend so completely on your parents.
Hope you can pull through this enough to have the luxury of severing ties soon!


well done. it can be very hard to walk away from these type of things esp. if you have put a lot of time/effort into them. Beware of the potential feeling of did I do the right thing? Know you did.

Triple Scorp

Good for you!
Toxic people also poison you slowly over time. So slowly, in fact, one day you wake up and don’t know who the hell you are anymore.

iris aquacat

Perfect description TS

The Baroness

Most of the Qi Vamps I know are the ones who claim others are. The narcissism that fuels themselves astounds me. But their charisma ensures a small circle of willing participants who feel the need to ‘nurture’ them. I see people too clearly to ever engage in such blatant fuqery again. Kudos to the Kataka for knowing when enough was enough 🙂 <3


I have this joke with men who always claim “no drama” are the most adept at creating absolutely everywhere they go yet can’t own it because the inevitable response to their actions has people up in arms around them and they have failed to notice themselves as the source and common denominator in this factor

Redlipstick Virgo

Wow that’s so true – stupid Scorp ex was claiming can’t do drama while creating it. His ‘I am one of the good guys’ line on his dating profile should have told me he wasn’t as anyone who needs to say that is clearly toxic. Weird as I was just reading an excerpt from Lillian Glass Toxic Men last night – and today this thread appears with a quote from her. I have taken the sign and bought the book!



its like, well maybe if you didn’t treat people like shit and act out at every perceived injustice to your “freedom” (can’t ask for love then create a one way street sorry, there’s no respect in that game..) then be upset at people’s reaction to this claiming that treating people like shit is their issue and you become “dramatic” like they are genuinely appalled you have a response to being a doormat. These people chew through and fast.


yeah beware anyone that says they hate drama. its a red flag they have had a lot of experience with it and not in a way where it was just a dynamic with one person. Its a man child who wants a one way street and is adept at pretending to be onside.

The Baroness

I know a Gemini female who because she’s smiley and perky people think she’s very positive. Yet ANYTIME someone calls her, or invites her somewhere, she rolls her eyes and says something nasty. She gossips, talks behind peoples back, says horrible things and has a habit of sending people ‘corrective’ emails and when they defend themselves get spiteful. And of course, on her timeline everything is Buddhist this and compassion that. You tell her something in your life, she’ll say something totally disconnected or revolves around her. I can’t believe I considered that person a friend for 15 years –… Read more »


Yeah. People are completely stupid like this. As long as you can bullshit the right demeanour but live none of its values.. Its just a PR front for a very ugly self.


Just a question for those knowing or been in Qi-vamp territory: If you receive a missive that says that you are now being cut off from a friend (who prior sent you gifts and messages that proclaimed: ‘from the bottom of my heart i thank you for being such a great friend’)… with no other explanation than: I feel that i am growing separately from you so therefore have to go my own path…hence i am sending this message. Are you at fault? or are they the life sucking qi-qi? All you ever did was be kind, balanced, and when… Read more »


Oh yes, I’ve been there. It’s a manipulation tactic designed to get you running back to the person, asking fretfully “But what have I done?” This is a power move so they can have the upper hand and explain how shite you are. The best/worst thing you can do is just wish them well…since you are an awesome person who will respect your friends’ boundaries if they wish to pull away to have space. Might not be so bad if this person just moves on, but watch out for those that despite their need for space continue contact in one… Read more »

moved on

Jesus. Does she live in north Queensland? I listened her moan for around about that time frame and earlier this year lost my patience with it. I don’t think there’s been a phone call from her since.

The Baroness

Ditto for my Taurus ex. Chaos EVERYWHERE. Every damn where before AND after me. I had a vision when I met him, told him, he twisted it all on me to convince me I was the problem. 18 years later all the things I ‘saw’ ended up being real facts from his past. THAT was the lesson that taught me to ALWAYS trust my instincts and I’ve never been taken for a toxic ride since.

The Baroness

TYPO – 18 months later, not years!


I have a neighbour who tried to get into my life, spill hers at me and become besties. After helping her a few times her demands and almost stalking activities only increased. Making the decision to retreat can be difficult but once you begin to detach things get easier, however monitoring boundaries is necessary.
Yes my triple Aqua persona is great at keeping light and airy and very very detached: Hi/Bye.


I have also escaped Qi toxicity, emotional abusive zombieland with toxic ex. Yay for the great escape. (dropkick)
Love the double Aqua drafting the letter. Extra uranus powers to disappear via the medium of logical detachment into another universe.


You go!

I had some qi vamp try to rear his ugly head a couple of weeks ago.
Delete. Click delete.

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