Would you kill off a potential love situation off based on some seriously rank synastry?
I just met a charming, brilliant, sexy man who treats me like a queen. Our banter is magical. But out synastry is gob-smackingly vile: one moon square one sun; both suns in opposition to a major stellium in each others’ charts (both with mercury in them, weird); venuses in opposition. (There are no hard aspects to Saturn). All of this is to 1 degree, to be clear.
But of course. He has Venus on his ascendent, a Gemini sun with Gemini rising, and mercury, mars and lilith conjunct in the third house (opposite my sun). Am I merely distracted by all the Mercurial energy? Almost certainly.
Quite frankly I don’t care either way, being at this point unable to be surprised by anything, but I am amused by how sobering synastry can be.
You have to share … what are your “boundaries” around synastry?
Just say no? Or are you willing to just let the good times role?
I must admit that I tend to go cold on someone the instant I see more than two major hard aspects. Capricorns really are ruthless. Or it might be my idealism doing me in.
With love, Circe x
My Dear Circe,
As it happens, i am doing an Astro-Compatibility Mp3 rant – that will be up on the Pay What You Want Mp3 page – this weekend. So all this will be addressed there but hey seriously, when i read charming, brilliant, sexy man who treats me like a queen. Our banter is magical I don’t think it really matters if his Saturn is parked outside your house at night, you know?
Unless, obviously, boyfriend is a con-man, psychopath, addict, toxic whatever and this is all just his front. BUT (a) i think chemistry is like some sort of an enchanted D.N.A linked think that trumps all else. And (b) that synastry (the comparison of planets and points between charts to deduce “compatibility”) does not seem so vile at all!
I tend to be the opposite, over-looking the most ludicrously officially incompatibility indicators if the chemistry is there. Yes, Venus trine Neptune opposite Pluto-Uranus here, lol.
But oppositions are great – it means you certainly have an effect on one another. Sun Square Moon likewise. I mean, so long as you have a, you know, outlet for this energy, it’s fantastic. Also, i was discussing this with Kim Falconer the other day – both of us have had hideous relationships (albeit definitely “karmic”) with people we’ve had the best-ever synastry on paper with.
Synastry is not the be-all and end-all of attraction and compatibility. It often just describes the quality or the tone of the interaction between you – eg; strong Mercury aspects between you = sensational rapport, similar cultural vibe and lots of talk. Big-time Pluto interplay and wham, you cut straight through to the psychological pay dirt. If your Venus stimulates his anything, you embody a Venusian ideal.
But when it comes down to it, there is also the Composite Chart to look at AND the transits you met under. If you meet someone when Pluto is on your Venus, that’s a Plutonic relationship.
If you really want to send yourself bats on a synastry-astro-fiend bender, check out Karmic Relationships by Martin Schulmann – he has the most full-on delineations for every aspect between charts. From a modern perspective, it can read a bit sexist in places but it’s hectic.
And, i will let you guys know when my Astro-Compatibility Mp3 is up and there is nothing wrong with “hard aspects” between charts. For some perspective on this, check out the links between you and your closest friend. My theory is that the strongest/closest/tightest links between charts often describe that relationship the best.
Find your top three and there is your story.
What does everyone else think?
Image: Jonathan Viner
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