Professional Love Zombie

Vintage Romance Comic
Hola Mystic,

Really hope you’re beginning to feel better now. Have just read your Daily for Wednesday and it sounds like a coincidentally timely warning!

Massively battling an attack of Love Zombie. It could turn into a nasty one; biz and pleasure mix, multiple parties, various countries, significant life changes, etc, etc, etc.

I know the drill – you’ve drilled us hard – stay focused on The Awesome, channel zombie energy into productive areas, harden the farq up and be an adult about it (I’m paraphrasing here). Bit difficult to do when my up-coming moment of truly individuated Awesome (no delusions here – this will be a new level and I will dictate rules) is inextricably linked with Object-Of-Love-Zombie-Attack. In fact, said Object will facilitate my Awesome, and me theirs!

Still, every time I trip a bit too far into Zombieland, I’m reminded of The Archie Slap from ‘RocknRolla’, so much so that I created the attached gif – you can’t reinforce this stuff enough, it seems.

Mystic, thank you for defining the Love Zombie condition. Just having a name for it makes it that much easier to manage. This may even be your biggest (public?) contribution to humanity so far.

Yours gratefully,
Professional Love Zombie

the archie slap

Hola Professional Love Zombie and hey thank you!

I had not idea Love Zombies were turning pro but hey, we have got to evolve with the Zap Zone, right?

Okay so for those of you with NO idea what we are talking about, the Love Zombie “virus” was first isolated in this post here.

And then you can search the site or use the tags to discover untold other posts and some epic comments re the Love Zombie, um, genre.

Anyway, i think that if you’re evolving and the whole Love Zombie vibe is proving productive, it’s (sort of) okay. It’s only if being a Love Zombie is stagnating you in a toxic stew of e-stalking and tedious obsession that it becomes a problem. I mean, holy Hecate, there are Love Zombies out there who have learned to astral travel, break dance, started successful companies, done Tough Mudder and gotten breakthrough therapy ALL AMIDST THE MOST SEVERE Love Zombie tweaking phases.

One day they wake up, realize they were in love with a figment but fuq, they’ve got abs. Or a million $ in the bank. This may be the difference between amateur Love Zombies and Professional Love Zombies like yourself.

I think, despite the fact she was a highlyย  qualified and professional astronaut in her day, Lisa Nowak may just be the ultimate amateur Love Zombie.ย  This is the woman who drove across America in nappies (so she could not have to stop for loo breaks, i believe) to kidnap the girlfriend of the man she believed herself destined to be with.

The Love Zombie virus can strike even the most intelligent and accomplished of people – in Nowak’s case, she also had Venus quincunx Neptune. Yes, challenging Venus-Neptune aspects definitely put you at a higher risk of being a Love Zombie and yes, Venus is opposite Neptune this week so watch it!

If there is a “cure” for the Love Zombie condition other than time (and in the case of Lisa Nowak, criminal litigation, career ruination etc) it would have to be Saturn. If you’re zombieing out, look to your Saturn and do it hardcore. Or just work, work out, clean house and sleep. Wake up and repeat.

And yes, Truly Individuated Awesome, as you so brilliantly put it, is also an epic policy.

Lisa_M._Nowak

 

Access Horoscopes, Insta-Tarot, Oracle and More

All Access Membership โ€“ This is not a recurring payment โ€“ you are not locked in.

Email Mystic if you would like to trial for a few weeks first.

81
Leave a Reply

Please Login to comment
avatar
24 Comment threads
57 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
21 Comment authors
InvictaPro LZcatfish moonLilith Recent comment authors
newest oldest most voted
Invicta
Invicta

I think the LZ virus is a bit like alcoholism in that you’re never really cured as such because tendency will always be there but awareness is the everything.

catfish moon
catfish moon

I had forgotten about the astronaut Lisa!!! LoL

calypso
calypso

It’s been months since I read my LZee’s scopes, or that of his wife. I cringe so much at that admission it’s taken me days to make it.

Anyway, am I cured? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Anonymous
Anonymous

Hey, I used to do that!

Yes, I think if you’re cringing, you’re cured… for the time being.

Astraea
Astraea

I love Mark Strong, bald or with man-wig. Tall, dark, beautifully proportionate face and body – I’m especially fond of his nose. He’s one of my rotating ‘narcissistic sex’ fetishes. Funny I’ve been thinking of Lisa Nowak these past few weeks. Gross. I’m always LZ’ing some celeb and don’t recall a flesh and blood relationship that didn’t at least start with hard-core LZ protocol. But I must be doing it all wrong b/c who the fuq learned to break dance and get Fortune 500 on their diaper road trips to the newest love of their lives?! I only got a… Read more »

Fauness
Fauness

I’m at the tail end of my own LZ episode, and I needed that. I’m a newer subscriber, found Mystic at just the right time. My muse was great fodder for painting and drawing all summer though.

es
es

When experiencing a long stretch of unemployment, is it possible to be a LZ for a job, so to speak?

Anonymous
Anonymous

I think so. Plus actors must needs be professional LZ’s, it’s in their enneagram type-set & astral dna.

sunshine
sunshine

I think Franรงois Hollande is a permanent resident of Love Zombieland.

Vslr
Vslr

So weird… The dude i was in the year long relationship with starts visiting the website i have launched….liking the fb page for it was a step too far for me. What the is he upto? I dont want to see his face. Narcissistic a-hole. This is him just being his manipulative self trying to get back into my life after almost driving me to a nervous breakdown. If i give him a finger hell want my whole hand. Now…i cant figure out if it was the leo dude himself who visite the site from the country he said he… Read more »

Year of the Phoenix
Year of the Phoenix

like when someone has these weird sensations and finally a doctor diagnoses the condition and they get cured – except the only real cure is eternal vigilance and the odd delightful afternoon of total immersion in the fantasy……

Natal Leonine Venus 12 th opp Neptune 3rd conj moon = rich fantasy love life I should write a chick lit hit

Taurus Vixen
Taurus Vixen

I’ve learned the hard way (several times for I am a stubborn Taurus) to pay heed to your incoming Love Zombie warnings. My best visual is from the long ago Bob Newhart show with a skit called “Stop It”, Video is on YouTube and so worth watching! Every time I want to reach out to my Virgo obsession I see Bob Newhart telling me stop it!

Twinfishrising
Twinfishrising

Hmmm, I always seem to arrive at Mystic’s blog when I’m travelling from Neptune… In my latest travels as a day dreaming gatherer and disseminator of ideas I discovered one remedy for L Z issues. That good old triple mantra that is used in 12 step addiction programs, the Serenity Prayer: Please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change what I can, and The Wisdom to know the difference. I find this gets me me in touch with Saturn at a high frequency with Neptune. Also getting some tunes up that have… Read more »

Pegasus
Pegasus

Live your Illusions
Sack your delusions?

Tales from the Crypt
Tales from the Crypt

If LZism was a show ride it’d be dodgem cars. Erratic and unavoidable collisions, peppered with much sh(gr)unting, groaning n moaning with rare moments of exhilarating synchronicity.
Then getting off and wondering whether it all really happenend or not.

Much better to buy yourself a paddock-basher and having real fun in a real car.

Pegasus
Pegasus

As a show ride i thought it would be the ‘Gee Whiz’.

Tales from the Crypt
Tales from the Crypt

All l could think of was the spoonerized answer.

So l wont write it

skarab
skarab

hhmm…very cryptic.

calypso
calypso

tales from the cryptic ๐Ÿ˜‰

Tales from the Crypt
Tales from the Crypt

I am learning how to filter my Merc/Uran. It has got me in trouble before.

I was beavering away at some earlier posts but decided against it. (irony intended)

I need a new name. This one is now musty, dusty and corroded.

skarab
skarab

cryptic tales, even.

skarab
skarab

Yes, i was thinking along the lines of The Zipper, myself… caged in, shaken, turned upside down, spun, zoomed up, then down, then you get let out and you throw up and vow you’ll never go on the ride again…until maybe the next time.

Tales from the Crypt
Tales from the Crypt

In the end some of these rides can just make you wanna throw up; it’s so sickening.

skarab
skarab

revolving, really.

Invicta
Invicta

And I agree with the author of this post that defining the malaise that is Love Zombie is MM’s greatest gift to humanity so far. Not to diminish her genius or the other great stuff she brings but that one deserves a Nobel Peace prize or whatever award. It should definitely go into Urban dictionary and the Oxford dictionary eventually, although I rate Urban dictionary slightly higher.
It DEFINES “he’s just not that into you”- no distills it’s very essence into one label. It is sheer genius.

Tales from the Crypt
Tales from the Crypt

I wanna claim equality for men. We can be just as deluded.

As in “Mate, you don’t rate”

Lilith
Lilith

Oh bloody gawd. I’ve just had a 4 week imaginary relationship. Fuqing closet love zombie. I wonder if my friends knew. He would cuddle me in the kitchen as I made tea in the morning, we would laugh in the car together singing songs, talk in the shower and whisper to each in bed at night on our pillows. Did I mention the part where he wasn’t actually present for any of this? We slept together twice and then he went away. I’m not sure we even spoke that much. I do love zombie because it’s easier than actually sustaining… Read more »

Pro-LZ
Pro-LZ

Haha! That sounds like my inner dialogue! I feel for you, Lilith. Maybe watching the Archie Slap repeatedly (like I seem to do on an hourly basis) might help?

Hang in there lady!

Lilith
Lilith

Every now and then, zombie one kenobi pops it’s head up and says

‘he’s so gonna call you’

*insert Archie slap here

Pro LZ
Pro LZ

Hahaha! Correct!!!!

Tales from the Crypt
Tales from the Crypt

May the farce be with you!

DP
DP

How’d you get into my brain?!? Seriously, that is so familiar.

And +1 for ‘zombie one kenobi’

Invicta
Invicta

Actually Lilith I think your imaginary friend sounds delightful. Zombie is harsh – He’s not dead if he lives in your head. Besides, didn’t you JUST burn your wedding dress. A rebound relationship with an actual human at this stage would be so wrong. You need your space. Imaginary lovers and friends never crowd you or make you jealous. Just enjoy. You sound totally sane and not a love zombie at all

VenusRising
VenusRising

Best comment ever – I LOL’d immensely.

Actual humans. Bleaurgh.

Rose coloured zombie thoughts are prettier and nicer. : )

Lilith
Lilith

Wow I think you’re actually onto something there!!!! Yes a rebound relationship with an actual human could be quite messy. I go through these imaginary lovers like a monthly subscription to Home and Garden magazine. I’ve had at least 6 in the last 9 months, all have left me completely shattered.

Sadly enough he was in the car with me again today, we sang some London Grammar together. At the lights, I visualised the Archie slap. HE DOES NOT EXIST!!!

Pro LZ
Pro LZ

OMG! The Archie Slap concept is catching on! (I’m contributing to humanity *humble sigh*!).

I feel for you, Lilith. If the imaginary Objects de Zombie leave you shattered, that’s a tough inner space to inhabit.

May I suggest a pet? Dog, cat, fish, plant? Something to break up the humanoid Objects? They’re cute and don’t talk back? ๐Ÿ˜‰

Invicta
Invicta

Brilliant post MM Hilarious! I was feeling the wounds itch a lot last night but the alchemy bath, candles, gardening and a little smidgeon of a workout helped a lot. Also rang my little Kristina for a brief chat. She’s the 21, sorry 22 yr old who is currently working as a cleaner but when I’m rich (soon) and her English is better (also soon) she will be my PA and her husband will be managing teams of guys to fix up run down properties and sell for profit. We are all really excited about it. He’s very good, practical,… Read more »

Pegasus
Pegasus

You contacted him??
I’ll put you over my knee!
Your energy is waaaay above his, do not stoop and pick up nothing.
Sheesh, who am i to say that to you, just have fun, however-wherever ๐Ÿ™‚

Invicta
Invicta

Oh gawd no not HIM. yuck. I’m so over FF it’s not even crossed my mind to contact him apart from when I was watching Maleficent because he has the same accent and obis other striking similarities. No no no no my dear. I dropped a mail to my sweet ML who according to Steven Newman the fabulous Jungian astrologer I DO have a massive north node connection with. His Saturn is on my north node and oh just so much, like we have yod in the synastry and he basically came into my life to awaken and help me… Read more »

Skye
Skye

My love zombie object is so dated and dust covered now that I start to Google stalk out of sheer habit and boredom only to find myself losing all interest half way through typing his name.
Sometimes I miss the drama. The huge flood of WTF emotions and lack of logic.
Sometimes…

calypso
calypso

lol, “meh” can be good ๐Ÿ™‚

Anonymous
Anonymous

hahhahah

es
es

Ugh, me too…

professional love zombie
professional love zombie

Hey People, it’s been about a week since I wrote that email to Mystic and how ironic it is to see it posted now – it’s stupid o’clock where I am, I couldn’t sleep, so I’ve gotten up to work on an issue that Object raised before the weekend. How Haute Love Zombie is that! But what a difference a weekend makes. Went to the most beautiful wedding on the weekend (I’m rather anti-marriage, so that’s a HUGE statement for me) and even though it was 100% love and joy at this event, it was clear to me that no,… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

hey, i know this is probably out there and it would take packs of slavering wolves chasing me to the edge of a cliff to get me to do the same, but what if you just aired the topic with Mr Object de Zombei? “god, you’re so hot/amazing/ and i don’t know how to handle this attraction in a sustainable fashion” or something less nerdy sounding sometimes voicing it kills it, true, maybe a bad thing if the feelings are in fact the nuclear fuel rods powering the working partnership.. good luck with it all .. act in a way… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

but it could also ‘mature’ / progress the connection and he would also have a chance to say his piece. and you could both have less fogginess around the situation, anyway..

Anonymous
Anonymous

Hey Anon, ‘Mr Object de Zombei’ – I like that, think I’ll use it! If the situation was less complex, yeah, I would air the topic. Or just pin him to a wall, lol! But he is actually my customer to whom I am delivering a significant piece of work, which is shortly due for completion. It would be really uncool to scatter the energies so close to the end. Plus, his GF is lovely, and I won’t cut her lunch. Not to mention my BF, who is a beautiful person and deserves much better than that. If this ever… Read more »

DP
DP

Ah yes, that is a tough sitch. Better to glide on through with dignity intact and lots of words unsaid (except here! Vent away!).

On a very recent thread, someone (flowerchild?) posted this link, which I thought very healing for LoveZombism, so I will post it again. I am verging into LZism myself with a crush, and found it like a sharp clean knife to cut through the BS: http://markmanson.net/fuck-yes/

Pro-LZ
Pro-LZ

That is a great article and a brilliant Law. I won’t surprised if I’ll be thinking over it for the rest of today (which will be long!).

Yes, lots of things unsaid, but a definite, albeit silent, ‘Fuck Yes’.

Good luck with your crush, DP. I’m here to return the venting ๐Ÿ™‚

DP
DP

Yeah, I thought it pretty brilliant myself. Will help with this new one. I haven’t had a real crush on someone who responded in kind in… well, let’s not call it a decade, let’s just call it an “age”.

And thanks, Pro-LZ. ๐Ÿ™‚

DP
DP

And good luck with the project, as well as sitting on all those feelings. Have you tried meditation? It helps me sit on/with mine…

Pro LZ
Pro LZ

Thanks DP. I’m trying to make my project my focus – I have a hard time meditating; I get competitive in yoga classes!

Don’t worry about the ‘ages’ thing – when it rains, it pours. Maybe it’s just your time in life to get comfortable with yourself? Dunno, but don’t be too hard on yourself ๐Ÿ™‚

Prince Stolas
Prince Stolas

That was actually a very intelligent article. Too bad I already have a similar philosophy. And pretty much every serious problem I have ever gotten i to was caused by me taking a friend’s advice of …but you need to stop being so picky and give so and so a try. however, I am exactly in the last problem category. Nobody I like ever feels “fuck yeah” for me. And of course according to the article, it is my problem, like I’m not already an awesome person. That part sort of pissed me off. The kind of people who say… Read more »

DP
DP

“Stop being so picky”. How many times I fell for that and tried to adjust myself to others’ expectations.

Fuq that. Done.

Prince Stolas
Prince Stolas

It wasn’t really that so much as If I simply turned down the person on my first gut instinct, I would be bombarded with “but you never gave the a guy a real chance”….,you’re just shut off and not vulnerable” …ugh…. because seriously, if I didn’t have to navigate friendship expectations, I would’ve said fuck no. Because as soon as I voiced any concerns of the dude, the friend was all backing him up, like…give him a chance.

Anon
Anon

he’s taken, she’s taken, End of story!!!
There should be no airing. Hmph!

So you have a connection Just appreciate that. Why take it any further.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Testing

Anonymous
Anonymous

Oh for heaven’s sake. It’s just an idea and depending on the maturity of the people involved, is sometimes interesting to discuss. There’s no requirement to act (on my words or if those two people were to say something). Pro LZ has her head screwed on straight it seems re this: Good.
Love that image, lolololol. Is the same anon who posted both? (Different anon here)

Anonymous
Anonymous

Nope, different anon. ๐Ÿ™‚

Pro LZ
Pro LZ

Straight enough to focus on work first and Zombie out in some back-seat neurological pocket!

I don’t know, I used to think like 1st Anon does but the older I get the more nebulous relationship seem to me. It’s not just a ‘forever’ promise, it’s a journey through life and sometimes (often judging by divorce/separation data) people’s lives eventually diverge.

As for why take it any further? Why take anything further? If we didn’t push/explore/risk, we wouldn’t evolve, would we? It just become a matter of consequences.

d
d

Someone please explain to me how a person so decisive and go-getter in their life- becoming an astronaut, the epic diaper road-trip stunt- could be so wishy-washy about whether to have bangs or not.

Make a decision! To bang or not to bang! So to speak.

(Sorry, I have nothing intelligent to contribute today.)

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

That was better than intelligent, imho.

seagoat/liilte fish/leomoon
seagoat/liilte fish/leomoon

Hilarious!

Prince Stolas
Prince Stolas

It was the 80’s. None of us could figure out bangs back then.

DP
DP

But it was the only time I *did* have bangs, and they were pretty damn decisive! Of course, one should have compassion for those not as bang-decisive as I was in HS (take that as you will).

(I was the OP here BTW)

calypso
calypso

“bang-decisive” I did LOL ๐Ÿ™‚

Buckle (Aries, Pisces Asc, Gem Moon)
Buckle (Aries, Pisces Asc, Gem Moon)

OMG you’re right! Look at those non-committal pseudo-bangs! Terrible!

Anonymous
Anonymous

bangs … *snicker*

Skye
Skye

Now I have that Ricky Martin song in my head

Anonymous
Anonymous

Latest LZ phase for me was Haute for sure. Like I literally felt high. Made extra care to release sticky, icky needy thoughts towards him and just imagine-up freedom, bliss and light in the space between us. kept it fresh (in my mind at least!!). Wife and kids so it was never going to get past my mind, but felt good regardless. It would actually be great to channel this into a collaboration, sublimate the desire into high-vibing creative work.

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

Yeah, I got astral travel out of it for sure. And the ability to read past lives. I was once a proper goddess. Of course. What sane PLZ would be less than Goddess? Pfft. No brainer. Be benevolent.

Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot

We’ve all been Love Zombies at one time or another.

I even get LZ symptoms when feeling low.

The best treatment is JUST DO YOU. (i.e. individuation?)

FUQ EVERYONE ELSE.

Even the smartest, most awesome people can be stricken with the LZ virus.

Detach.
Forget. Flourish.

freedom ala air
freedom ala air

Yes excellent advice I agree

MutableMabel
MutableMabel

Oh man, poor Lisa Nowak. She should get her own asteroid. I 100% need to know what part of my chart my Lisa Nowak is in, because I’m sure it’s there somewhere.

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

lol

+1

Prince Stolas
Prince Stolas

She was born on May 10th so that’s like 19 ish degrees Taurus. Check out 19 deg Taurus and see if that’s anything important. That’s my daily work, health. and pets sector.

MutableMabel
MutableMabel

Lisa conj. Chiron! Noooooooo!!!

es
es

lol forever at this. Brilliant!

pleidian pisces
pleidian pisces

This post is OMGF brilliant! I laughed so hard I nearly cracked a rib – it’s so absolutely correct – IF…..the LZ energy is channelled anywhere else but the object of distraction – I am building a freakin empire and the obsession leaves me no time for LZ crap! and that’s the way I like it. With neptune conjunct my sun in pisces exactly! and the full super moon rearing it’s head I am steering well away from my usual suspects (aka chardonnay and the narcisistic ex) and manifesting creative genius! hopefully! Oh, and I must give my aries moon/rising… Read more »

Prince Stolas
Prince Stolas

I always have an interesting story to tell at least. Pro-love zombies do at least!

Charley
Charley

Exactly and always.