I’m a subscriber, inspired by your recent Dear Mystic posts (which are so helpful and fun to read) to share a question of my own:
I’m a Taurus Sun-Venus-Lilith, Cap Moon-ASC, with an exact Sun-Neptune opposition Thank God for all that earth, because… Love Zombie, yo. I’m in recovery, but I think I might have become too reactionary. I either merge instantly and completely, or I shut people out—sometimes (often!) both in the matter of an afternoon.
I’ve been single for 4 years now, doing ME, and I’m pretty content. I wouldn’t mind meeting that special someone, but I am nervous about that prospect. I like my alone-time. Jupiter recently entered my Leo 7th house, so people—and MEN—are starting to pay more attention to me all of a sudden.
Case in point: the day Venus entered my 7th house, to join the Sun, Lilith, Jupiter, and Mercury, I received a FB friend request from a man I did not know, but with whom I share a number of mutual acquaintances, so I accepted. I’m a writer, hoping to write more and bigger things…as it turns out, he’s a published author and speaker. I’m geeking out at this point. We messaged a bit. I’m fantasizing about becoming his protégé, because he is everything I want to be. He asked to call me. That’s when I locked everything down—he doesn’t know me! What if he’s a creep? I really only want to be friends with this guy…how do I finesse that without hurting feelings? I have no idea what to do! So I did the thing I do…buzzkill. I got all super-real. Engaged the shields. Put myself on red alert.
I have never participated in online dating. I don’t like meeting men online, and I don’t like the feeling of being “evaluated,” either. This means that I have no idea how to present myself or build friendships with men online. I want to be open, but I don’t know how to be open without being WIDE open. Especially online. And I hate to assume that if a man is paying attention to me, he’s interested romantically. But that’s generally the case. And men assume the same of WOMEN…which is also generally the case. So I’m a fish out of water, in a few respects, because I’m looking for intellectual comrades most of the time.
Argh. I feel like a relationship idiot. Any advice would be so helpful! I’ve spent too many years saying YES when I meant NO, to spare someone else’s feelings. I don’t want to do that any longer, but now I feel like I’m just downright mean. How do I find the middle ground?
With my undying gratitude,
Taurus-Cap with a Neptune affliction 🙂
You are totes over-thinking this (compassionate eye roll). Jupiter anywhere is meant to be where you’re wide-open and taking a few (healthy) risks. So yes, it’s the ideal time to meet more people. It need not be online dating where you are “evaluated.” It can be meet-ups, the gym, the cafe, where-ever. It can be speed-dating – surely the efficiency would appeal to your Cap Rising?
Great Hecate, engage your EARTH sign pragmatism here & leave Neptune for the yoga studio, genius writing or your dream diary. Date with your Capricorn Ascendant. So you may also have PLUTO along there very soon, that’s usually a Big Love. And you’ve done all this amazing work on yourself, no naff over-lapping or just folding the last romance into the next one.
This is perfect! As for the published author and speaker, so what if he is a creep? You don’t see him again. Creeps exist. People who are less than perfect for you exist. You can’t police the dating world so that it is only a Neptunian paradise, populated by soulmates, muses, mentors and people with whom you feel a wordless affinity + you have the hots for. Also, as a Capricorn Rising, Saturn is your ruler – currently augmented by Mars.
Develop a proper business plan for everything. Like a flow chart. Aim to at least just meet more people. New people in general. Think in terms of collaborating. Fix the Feng Shui. Get a new bed. Tell people you know (remember Jupiter in the 7th is also helpful people) that you’re ready to date/meet people again.
If you find Neptunian meandering creeping into your analysis, isolate it.
But what does everyone else think? There are, after all, some genius peeps who hang out here.
Image: Alphonse Mucha