“I’m Leo – Burning My Wedding Dress On Sunday.”

Neil Krug

I’m Leo. Burning my wedding dress on Sunday yo.

There will be a bon fire. Maybe some dancing. Maybe some singing.

I met my (ex) husband 10 years ago. I’ve always had light and energy, the sort that freaks peeps out. A hardcore work ethic and the drive to do great things. What I lacked was the self esteem and belief I was a good person, probably due to some deep seeded psych crap that was confusing from my child hood.

Maybe just confusing and freaked out about my own place in the world and where I stood in it. We met at a time when I was in a stage of serious drug and alcohol abuse and loved to party. So did he. He called me names, he validated that I should have no self esteem and that I was a pretty shit person. So it seemed fitting that I should be with someone who agreed with it. Right? WRONG.

I got to a place 18 months into our relationship where I left because he was not a very nice person. I knew it, he knew it, I left. I left town and thought I’d never look back. After a break of 18 months (we still hooked up in this time when he would return from sea) I was once again at a shitty place in my psych. I was ridiculously unhappy with in myself. I still managed great jobs, great friends and had a cracking life but for some reason I just thought I deserved crap. I had a million great opportunities with fantastic lovely people but I just felt most comfortable being treated like a piece of poo.

After what felt like an eternity fighting someone to realize my worth and that I was a good person, I realized it was ME I was fighting. This man was just the physical form of what I used to think about myself. Yes he was a psychological parasite and an incredibly abusive man but I just had to bite the bullet and get the fuq out. I left the family home, with the kids and a few bits and pieces and made a stand. I think his new girlfriend (whom he was seeing before I’d even left) will hopefully reach the same point one day. He was the best worst thing that ever happened to me.

I’m not sure if it was my Saturn return (I’m turning 30 next month) or if it’s something I would have overcome anyway but you know what? I like me. I really fuqing like me. And I’m going to fail and fall and win and fall some more, and you know what? I’m going to keep going. Staying stuck and hiding my light did nothing for anyone. I want to send a clear message to my two daughters that old world beliefs that women are possessions and need to be controlled IS NOT OK. Humans are humans.

I’m launching another radical business, I am giving him and that old crap thinking the big fuqing middle finger and on Sunday on the New moon in Leo (not sure if I mentioned I’m a Leo, or if I needed too) I’m burning my big poofy wedding dress. At the beach. If only I had time to rig up a medieval floating bed thingy of debris. He also leaves town on that day to go to sea again. And then……my new life begins.

Well it already has begun but this is the moment I say Goodbye and Hello.

Lilith

I read this and was just oh-my-godding all over the place.Β  I was reading it thinking yes, Saturn Return, yes New Moon in Leo, yes Zap Zone but totally Lilith in Leo and then i saw the sign-off. Woah. Thoughts?

 

Image: Neil Krug

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Methinky
Methinky

Fabulous! Thanks for sharing what happened, tres cool.

I am also scared of crocs πŸ™‚

Lilith
Lilith

Just a quick follow up email re: The wedding dress burning. I just want to say this burning was not a spiteful hateful act at my marriage or my ex husband, rather a burning of an old outdated unhappy way of thinking and life. A good friend and I headed to the beach last night. To be honest we weren’t as prepared as we should’ve been. It was a new moon!!! No torch. Pitch black. The torch on my phone found us a spot and then the battery completely died. We were terrified of crocs. Then a bat flew through.… Read more »

sweetpea
sweetpea

Have a sweet little Leo nurse lady patient originally from Belfast Ireland. She just got engaged while vacationing in the Bahamas. She is in her sixties and so good on her for love.

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

aww, that’s sweet. Gives me hope. πŸ™‚

sweetpea
sweetpea

Haha, right? I mean my venus/Lilith square Uranus is warming to the idea at any rate.

sweetpea
sweetpea

Libran landlord tells me to go out on the golf course and find a geezer w/money.lol

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

Wow, interesting. The only relic I possess from my marriage is my dress. I threw away photos, memorabilia, everything, but kept the dress. It was a very non-wedding dress, I absolutely loved (love) it. I keep it because of vanity – I looked fuquing sensational in it – and felt like a queen. Weirdly I don’t associate the dress with the man or with the day – it was all about me! (Leo rising. Hello Jupiter) I do still have the certificate that was given to us on the day. I kept it because I thought I’d need it for… Read more »

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

“It’s purely decorative, devoid of any real substance”

Haha! My saggo moon square uranus loves that! πŸ™‚

miki
miki

leo? drama, self consumed? lol

Libra1Leo4
Libra1Leo4

Unlike the majority of people who have voiced their approval, I find that whole burning of the wedding dress a pointless exercise. By Lilith’s own account, she met the ex when she was ay a stage of serious drug and alcohol abuse, Her then low opinion of herself was not caused by having married this man. By her own admission, her new life has already begun…so why the need to destroy something which in essence wasn’t the actual cause of her own self-loathing in the first place? Good on Lilith for getting her life together and validating her own self… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

I think she can do her ritual when she feels like it.

She is doing it for herself as she pointed out that her ex was mirroring her behaviour?

Libra1Leo4
Libra1Leo4

Well obviously she can do it when she feels like it.
I’m not telling her when to do it.

Anonymous
Anonymous

This lioness is totally keeping her wedding dress. Obviously one needs something to burn in the event of a divorce!

Good luck Lilith.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Love it! Love it! Love it! I’m Leo, too. If I had a wedding dress, I’d burn mine in solidarity with he! LOL. Do your thing. Release. Shine. Better things lie ahead. πŸ™‚ <3

Streghetta
Streghetta

I love this idea! I probably would’ve smeared blood on it before burning it! LOL! (Sun, Moon, Mercury, and Venus in Leo; Ascendant is Scorpio.)

BURN AND RISE. πŸ˜‰

skarab
skarab

who’s blood?

Carla
Carla

At first, I was hesitant to share this, but I’m not about to mess with serendipity. I wrote this story last year about a similar dress burning experience. For me, the flaming dress was a cathartic, fiery moment that ended a long, painful period. I hope your dress burning leaves you feeling cleansed and released from your past, Lilith. I was 29 when I did it, too. A good time to burn off old ghosts. xox
http://www.xojane.com/relationships/i-burned-my-wedding-dress

LiberatingVenus
LiberatingVenus

Oh fuq yes – Leo New Moon squaring Mars in Scorpio and she’s going to BURN the effigy of her past self/life/relationship in dramatic fashion? You don’t say! Best wishes, dear Leo – hopefully with Jupiter’s entrance in your sign it re-affirims for you just how much you need positive, life-affirming influences in your life, and if this means literally burning off the shadow, my hat’s off to you! An even radder thing to be would be to engage in an energetic cord-cutting of sorts as the dress burns – just make sure you keep your Qi high and don’t… Read more »

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

I wore mine in the woods and set up a tripod so I could get a photo shoot of myself like I was a yeti or something, only wedding dress not furry body and big feet. Then I donated the dress to charity. Photos didn’t really come out as I liked, but it was still fun to be fancy and playfully not giving a shit at the same time. Off topic – how amazing is Mystic? Just got contacted by Pisces-Cap ex: so clearly following Mystic’s advice of “not letting f-wits make you feel mysteriously guilty because of their choices”… Read more »

Cher
Cher

Hey…burning wedding dress Leo….I did very similar thing when my marriage of 10 years ended….got gloriously hammered on beautiful beach with my bestie…… made a funeral pyre out of origamied cardboard and gave my divorce papers a burrial al la Viking style at sea under the light under a full moon with blue ring around it..at midnight…cant tell me the universe/goddess was smiling on what we were up to…..we whooped..we sang…we cried tears from raucous laughter ….two women full of power….never looked back….must be a Leo thing…..me being a Leo too…;)….best wishes for the Burning….sometime one simply has to let… Read more »

Olja
Olja

Thank you for sharing, dear Lioness… Me being a Lioness too – never had a regular wedding dress (we decided to get married in 3 days), so i got myself a black plush dress and a super shiny vest… Just yesterday my godfather girlfriend asked me if she can get the vest in case I don’t wanna keep it anymore… And i don’t, because my marriage has ended. WOW! Amazing….. <3 Love you all guys! Thank you so much! I feel the Leo energy everywhere! We are all connected in this!

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

It never occurred to me to burn my dresses… I guess when things were over, all was ash in my mind & nothing lingered = nothing left to burn. This post has made me remember tho that I still have my 2nd dress in my bedroom closet & that maybe it has been this dress that occasionally the Oracle has referred to as the left over love thing in my house that needs purged? (Whenever i’ve gotten that Oracle response, I’ve never been able to think of a leftover love thing under my roof.) I can’t burn clothes that are… Read more »

ms. vervain
ms. vervain

Love this!! Understated purge, incidental shamanic ritual…… buy oats, refuel car, drop off smudged wedding gown…………….

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

Buy oats lol x

Invicta
Invicta

Just scrolled up and read rest of thread. On iPhone. Interesting. Bill & Hilary. Hmmm. I was thinking about marriage and how it feels like such a trap for me. The only way I could see a marriage working for me is to be really protective of my husband and take the “what he does when he’s not with me is none of my business and it’s certainly none of yours” attitude. For me marriage is a long term partnership and that’s team work over the long haul, raising kids, owning property. The type of partnership which even a whiff… Read more »

Miss Miaow
Miss Miaow

AWESOME!

Invicta
Invicta

I’m crazy busy ATM with all the creative stuff going on in my life and feel stretched to the limit in so many ways but seeing ML last night really lifted me up. He always raises my Qi. I mentioned before that I had googled him and thought he was lying about his first name and was using his second with me. I was wrong. I saw the bill this morning. Nope. That is his name. Google gets stuff wrong sometimes. I know it’s unrelated to the topic but it just felt important to say that. Since I met this… Read more »

Invicta
Invicta

Whoa. I just totally oh my Goddessed over this too. I loved reading it. And I loved the sign off and I love you Lilith.
You rule!

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

It’s only been a week of Jupes in Leo and interesting that there’s speculation that Bill Clinton (Leo) has a regular mistress. Code named “the energiser” because of how often she visits while Hilary is away. 😯

The story has been neither confirmed nor denied by either Clinton.

I wonder if he has Jupiter in the 10th house?

Anonymous
Anonymous

Wouldn’t surprise me in the least. I can’t think of one political leader who is not a cad in their marriage. I want to say ‘male’ political leader but alas the female sample size is too small to know whether it’s power or gender that hollows or maybe just long marriages where one or both partners are nevah evah there. The Long View is the only view maybe

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

power, corruption and lies.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Makes us sub human.
Pi x (that was a me above)

Moonatic
Moonatic

A marriage of convenience. A Leo and Scorp using their position to positon themselves for further positioning. Both venal in their own way yet much to admire about both. Coldness of their relationship is apparent by their lack of genuine warmth. Pretty obvious really. Their Venus / Mars would be revelatory.

S
S

Have to agree with you on the ice factor of that relationship Katman. It’s no Premier Can-Do and Lisa Newman.

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

Leo squares Scorp. Plus they’re both fixed. Not a good mix.

I have never dated a Leo.

calypso
calypso

hey, I had this idea recently that because Leo is our Solar 10th those relationships can be enduring (the Cap flavour). I have dated a Leo and while the relationship – though long and serious – didn’t last the friendship has, as have all my Leo friendships. I have like 4 Leo besties, men and women, not even counting the ex.

scorpbot
scorpbot

Must be my Cap asc then because I don’t gel with Leos. Maybe because my sister is a Leo. It’s a love/hate relationship. I had a few Leo girlfriends in my 20’s but there was a falling out with all of them.

My closest friends are earth and water signs (male and female) and a Libran guy too.

I don’t understand the solar chart thing. Isn’t that what astrologers use to write a general horoscope? Natal chart more relevant.

calypso
calypso

lol, does that mean general horoscopes aren’t relevant? I watch both, and think both have meaning. Hasn’t it been EXCRUCIATING for Scorps to have Mars in Solar 12th so long? It isn’t that it’s my natal 5th that has given it such a grip, although I can see how it has worked on rels with children as well. I have Leo sis too – also love/hate. My 20s friendships were with Aries women – didn’t last, lol.

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

I suppose you’re right. I guess I didn’t vibe with the whole Leo in solar 10th house.
What’s been excrutiating has been all the retros and the lengthy Mars in Libra transit… and Jupes in Cancer transiting my 7th. And I had Pluto in my 12th for aeons!!!

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

is your sister younger too?

calypso
calypso

yes, younger. omg, Pluto in 12th 😯

Anonymous
Anonymous

πŸ˜† 😯 Yeah, at least with Pluto in 1st it’s all out in the open πŸ˜€

Anonymous
Anonymous

I think for a relationship there has to be at least one strong trine or a coupla gd sextiles in Suns &/or Moon/Mercs, Venus/Mars, Eros/Psyches, Saturns/Jupes, Nodes.

That or have blue eyes and brown hair!

Moonatic
Moonatic

Me of course. I could also be stark raving mad.

scorpbot
scorpbot

of course Moonatic!! I’m just speaking generally

Moonatic
Moonatic

As you’d know l am a newby who is juicing up on this. I found l got Psyche and Chiron in Aquarius and Eros in Virgo. Plus 5H cusp in Scorp/8H in Aqua. No wonder l feel more Uranian than MoonMeister

Anonymous
Anonymous

I got Psyche in Aqua too. Eros in Scorp

Anonymous
Anonymous

astro is a healthy addiction. It’s all about growth and self-awareness. Unless you’re obsessively comparing charts with someone who’s unavailable. Haha.

Moonatic
Moonatic

Dont accuse me of being that intelligent. Much to learn about myself without complicating things. Just making some tentative understandings about houses an d astteroids like eros/psyche etc. Plus trying to Reconcile being KatSun/Asc yet being so Urananian.

scorpbot
scorpbot

that was me

Moonatic
Moonatic

Can you OD on Astro? MM has warned me about Neptunian addictions

Moonatic
Moonatic

Another thing is l am feeling Mars in Libra lifting from me. I’ve had the horriblus annus this year as a hs tch. 8 blue planets for 12 hours when Mars in the holiday shack.

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

my comment went up there. The thread is getting thin. Time to go.

calypso
calypso

I know a politicians wife who has a, would you say “mister”? No, she has a lover. Yeah, they’re apart a lot. Cuts both ways.

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

Great post., great idea! Love it! πŸ™‚

Lilith
Lilith

Hey Mystic,

What time of day is going to be best for this?

The Leo Socialite
The Leo Socialite

Damn, i donated mine to charity but now wish i’d burned it and turned it into a short film. Go Lilith! I am loving all this Leo vibe!

Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot

This resonates on SO many levels.

Of course a LEO would burn the DRESS! πŸ™‚

GO you. Blessings!

Lilith for the sign-off—wow.

kel
kel

Yeah Lilith !!! You go girl! Photos!!!! It will be a spectacular display of burning lace and chiffon and whatever the fuq else they make those awful dresses from..All the constituent ingredients for.napalm I think πŸ™‚

High fives and hugs, friend I haven’t met this time around yet!

kel
kel

Ooh you should burn all of your old underwear too. Whole new beginning yeah? πŸ™‚

S
S

Some things need to be pulled apart to find where your at.
I don’t know how I’d feel burning a wedding dress, having never been married. Guess the power is in the process your giving back to yourself. Best of the burn to you both.

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

I’ve never been married either but I love the idea of burning πŸ™‚

Saggo moon square Uranus. Burn baby. Burn!!! N

S
S

When you fall in love you burn apart of you. Seems only fitting to burn in the end too.

Electric Eel Libran
Electric Eel Libran

Me neither. Never been married. But it appeals to the pyro in me.

Lizard King
Lizard King

Wow I was listening to Tim Buckley’s (yes Jeff Buckley’s Dad) Goodbye and Hello whilst reading this! For those who dont know, Tim Buckley was one of LA’s great 60’s singer songwriters (the album Greatings from LA is a classic). But I reckon the song Goodbye Hello from the album of the same name should be the anthem of the Zap Zone!

Have a listen Lilith I think its perfect for where you are at!

Lizard King
Lizard King

This song really is perfect for the Zap Zone. Prescient in fact!

Lilith
Lilith

Just found the burning song πŸ™‚ thank you

Lizard King
Lizard King

So happy you found it appropriate! Enjoy your burning and the start of new life xx

seabird
seabird

Oh mate, you are so on it!

Last night my ex-boyfriend was in my bed…again….to see…..again…even though i have an amazing man os waiting for me…..why?…..to see…..

and I couldn’t feel anything

and this morning I thought ‘you (my ex) are a reflection of how I felt about myself for so long, and I don’t feel like that now and I couldn’t feel you last night….’

it is what it is

rock on!

Barista gem
Barista gem

😯

In-fuqing-credible! I felt so empowered reading this! Br

Let Leo’s lead the the way!!!

gemyogi
gemyogi

Love a Viking funeral!! Pity it can’t be on a boat/raft/pyre that floats off into the waves…

L Cat
L Cat

Agree totally! Vikings – aahhh, inspirational for me, and my mother once told me she can trace the family name lineage back to the Vikings.
A fab image of the burning boat funeral!

Charles
Charles

Hmm. Funny this was posted just hours after the Sun conjuncted Jupiter in Leo. The New Moon seems auspicious, but check out this Pluto opposition Venus.

http://planetwatcher.com/#1406529480

I was thinking about her idea of the ritual incineration on a barge as it drifts out to sea. That doesn’t sound very Leonic. Maybe get a big helium balloon, tie the dress to it with a long rope, and let it burn as it flies aloft, into the Sun.

gemyogi
gemyogi

Ooo yes love the idea of it rising upwards, burning. Like those lovely paper lanterns they use in Asia, like mini-hot air balloons.

electric eel libran
electric eel libran

oh hell yeah! I bet when Neptune got out of Aqua Leos everywhere roared in relief.

Olja
Olja

How do you mean Aqua Leos ?

Molly Blue Dawn
Molly Blue Dawn

Congratulations of the funeral for your wedding dress, Lilith!

Awatea
Awatea

I’m 30, I’m a Leo sun (AND Moon in Leo too!) and I could have written your post myself …. with a few details changed. Seriously. Especially the bit about realising that “what I was fighting way myself… he was just the physical form of …”. Except I separated with my version of the “abusive ex” 5 years ago… picked up and made a new life with my son (who was only 3 years old at the time). I was smashed into little pieces at the time…. however I was only battling myself – and only putting the pieces of… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

I’m Leo too .( Virgo moon!) I’ve recently seen how my toxic relationship was an exact reflection of how I treat myself… He always criticized my perceptions, second guessed my emotions, put me down, told me I was bad and wrong, I needed to change, be more like him, slow down blah blah blah. In the spirit of being open to everything, and of ego annihilation being ” a good thing” I allowed all of those things. No no no! No! I’m back to being me. Straight up me. Life has been showing me since that contrary to what he… Read more »

Vslr
Vslr

Woww! You wrote here precisely what I went through with a double Libran. Couldn’t have been more accurate in the way he treated me. But I’m so so happy and in such a good place now. Back to being me and more now! Yay us!

Xxx

Pi
Pi

Be sure to check the material the dress is made from. Any synthetics in the mix (e.g. some lace, linings) will burn very quickly and in a hot, plasticky mess. Ensure your fiery burn-off has no blow-back! Xx

This post is a great continuation of the previous comment themes. If we do not find what we are looking for within, we will never find it without, when it comes to love and fulfilment.

X

Pi
Pi

Lawd. Typical cap moon. Check all the angles. Then act. πŸ˜‰

Methinky
Methinky

Wow, yeah! You go for it!!

So empowering. What a great feeling.

Mystic Medusa
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