Freak Not – April Monthly Horoscopes Are Posted

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Steven Meisel Vogue Italia 2000

Yes, yes it’s nearly April – the April Of Awe: Two Eclipses – one on Mars, the Zap Zone exacerbated by Mars & Jupiter aka the Grand Cardinal Cross + oh god well that is enough to give you the idea. Saturn and Neptune are your new best friends this month.Β  So i have done the best i can to give you the tools to ace April or at least power through it and with missiles from random trolls bouncing off your gleaming armor, auric integrity super intact. They are here…Remember to read for your Rising Sign too!


Image: Steven Meisel – Vogue Italia

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72 thoughts on “Freak Not – April Monthly Horoscopes Are Posted

  1. Thanks Mystic! I’m kinda looking forward to April and yet, not.

    Can’t wait for the new moon on Monday! Everyone’s been so grumpy lately. I’mma gona drink some tea, sleep and ignore all the grumpy people.

  2. Everyone sees like they are on the verge of a break down – lots of couples parting, people freaking out, severe stress at work. The zap zone is no joke.

    • There’s a couple who are extremely violent that recently moved into a nice, quiet artist’s community.The cops will no longer come out when you call. Fighting every night, breaking out windows.
      I am not getting any sleep.
      I hope they break up so I can sleep again!
      I’ve saged, burned white candles,meditated, prayed and still there’s not much I can do to control or influence their drug fueled fights.
      No wonder Zen Buddhists do not live in the city or near others. If they do, please help me stay zen. I don’t function well on no sleep due to chronic illness I have.

      Is this the Zap Zone, or??? Surely not the Dark Moon.

      • I know a lot people in law in America. The law industry here is severely contracting while also experiencing a glut of lawyers. My Capricorn lawyer friend is under pressure. Industry and business is changing here.

        • Interesting. My ex just graduated in Law last year and is not finding many opportunities.

          Some facts/statistics from my ‘hometown’ here in Australia

          3 law schools

          250 or so graduates every year

          15 – the approx.number of positions available for each tranche of graduates

          Better get a lawyer son.

  3. Thanks mystic. April sure is a busy month.I hope I have properly examined the directions from which the zap winds could blow.
    I haven’t turned my house upside down by any means but have found it really easy to decide on some things I don’t want any more. Ie decluttering in a v modest sense. You are right about it being a good time for that. Don’t know where to get sage at this last minute (well I have fresh sage on my kitchen counter, is it just as effective if I eat it compared to smoking up the place?)

  4. So far all the ZZ hits have been pretty epic on a personal level, I’m a walking ZZ as far as transits right now (and since 2010) so I’m just riding the waves, expecting nothing to stay static and trusting/hoping/keeping the faith etc.

    The ZZ on an international level worries me more.

  5. Thank you so much Mystic! April may be a challenge but with your dedication to assisting us with your humor, enthusiam and reality bites I know I’m more confident in bringing my A game:)

  6. Wow, I didn’t realize we had two eclipses in April in addition to the ZZ Cardinal Cross. One of them conjuncts my SN and the other my Moon. Hopefully having been in total Saturn mode since October 2012 will help me deal with the energies. I’m finally starting to see how Saturn has been supporting me all along, even though I’ve had my anxiety attacks and depressive glooms during this time.

    This Dark Moon is fantastic for insights. Had a breakthrough realization this morning about my karma with a good friend and mentor. My SN is conjunct his Moon/Lilith/IC (helpfully, my NN is conjunct his Midheaven and Mercury). Lilith is conjunct the Moon and opposite the Sun in our composite chart. I saw so clearly how we’ve both been dealing with the issue of the devouring, possessive mother in our respective lives and in our own interaction. It feels like a weight or obligation has been lifted off my shoulders somehow.

  7. Thank you for being both honest/clear and also encouraging in the scopes. I like that free will is emphasized so much whole still laying out a game plan.

  8. love it. “pull back in and nourish yourself”. I’ve realized this is EXACTLY what I need to do.

    I need to take better care of myself. I just have no energy. I was totally wiped out today despite 8 hours of sleep, I could barely stand a few hours of walking around. I’ve been vegetarian since last august but I’m not eating well partly because I have been having digestive issues I can’t see a doctor about (don’t ask about health insurance in the U.S., a disaster). Anyway that’s no excuse to eat empty white carbs when I feel like eating, I need to eat healthier and more calories. I need to have more energy so that I can get more things done. And along with eating better exercising regularly. The two go hand in hand. So I’m starting a grocery list and planning a major overhaul.

    • nutrition is SO the starting point. that’s great you are feeling that.

      i was dealing with digestive things a while ago and was trying to work out if it was a food allergy. a doctor (relative who i interrogated nicely) suggested cutting out a different component on a rolling two-week cycle. e.g. cut out gluten for 2 weeks, then take that up again and cut dairy food, etc. see what happens. As it happened it was gluten that seemed to be causing the problem (I was devastated let me tell you). Also, however, foods rich in sugar such as dried fruit. And I was leading a very sedentary lifestyle, a lot of sitting around on my ass at work, at home, in car. And was experiencing a lot of stress but I didn’t really perceive this until later.

      When I went more or less gluten free (was very strict at first) and started moving more, and ditched the situations that were heaping stress on me like a layer cake, things got a lot better. have been on and off the wagon since then but i know where my a-game is now as far as health goes!

      i guess this is to illustrate that you will definitely make a difference, or at least can be more specific about what is ailing you if you do need to take it to a medico.
      have fun VK xx

  9. Hi. Do l have time to stop unmitigated disaster? I feel if l dont speak b4 new moon to my separated wife (?- Im a Kat Sun & Asc) it will be that.. Im findn it hard to take next step in leavn. I work away n go home a fortnight evry 10 weeks. She is 29.6 Leo Sun Virgo Moon &Asc (Soooooo Virgo). She wants me back. But schizz is hapn for us Crabs. I read what MM said about someone being “vile” to us Crabs in April scopes. She is a gold medallist in Marathon Scorn! Help b4 doom zooms in on the gloom

  10. Profound realisation. I have a habit of putting people on a pedestal when I first meet someone and we’re friends I love everything about them. I compare myself to them and see all the beautiful character traits they have that I don’t have that I would love to have. Virgo analysis basically. And then when the cracks show or their humaness comes to the fore, they drop in my eyes a little. And its not like before.

    I guess I realised that if I just keep everyone on a neutral level from the get go I get to appreciate them and I can start to trust them slowly. If they consistently let me down or show me their character then I haven’t dropped anyone from my imaginary pedestal. Ill just accept that. Middle and healthy start i guess.

    New patterns of relating. Woop woop!

    • Interesting. I have a friend like this – he has Venus opp Neptune, neptune being in the 11th of new acquantances. He also has – like most of my generation – Uranus/Pluto conjunct in Virgo. But I suspect Aries – his Sun/Moon, which loves the new – new anything – has even more to do with it than that.

      Having known him for 15 years, I can time it, and try not to say anything in the meantime, or feel dissed when he goes on endlessly about the new peeps, and is too busy to spend time with me. But right on cue, massive disillusionment occurs within 6 months, and then he is back wanting to spend time with old friends who have proved their worth.

      I also have the Virgo thing, and an Aries moon, but have a Scorp Venus, Saturn in Aqua in the third, and nothing in the 11th, so the whole quick infatuation with new friends thing doesn’t happen to me.

      • VSLR I do relate! And I have Chiron in the 11th in Aries If, πŸ˜‰ that Aries quality you explain there so well is a boot that fits or used to. Now I can see people more clearly & I can say that all that glitters is not gold, pity tho it is!

        • I have Venus in Leo 11th square pluto and conjunct jupiter. Neptune trine Sun in 12th. Saturn in Aqua 5th. Probably all that combines to give me that quality. For me this realisation came about when I asked myself in the morning “how best can I take care of myself today?” Saturn transiting my 2nd really asking me hard “what or who do i value?” I realised that I could look after myself by saving myself from delusional thinking by being nuetral in the start. I am learning to value myself now.

      • Six months does seem to the amount of time for honeymoon phase to wear off in relationships. I have a friend who has a new boyfriend and social scene every six months or so, too. You can almost set your watch to guess when she wants you to play agony aunt. After being cast aside, it is hard to continue the role of concerned friend. How deep are these temporary relationships anyway?

  11. Post-rollerskating I am on NSAIDS & herbals, but my Spirit is shiny fab πŸ™‚ Ahhh If I ever strike it rich, I’m getting my own rink & my own dj to play all of my favorite songs, and just get blissed out every day. Scorp Rinc. I can always get more nsaids & herbals. I could hire a massage therapist, too– maybe a dj-massage therapist!

    I don’t want a cigarette when I’m skating.

    Wasn’t September 2012 a ZZ hit? Because that translated for me into broken bones, surgery, & inability to walk for months– that time was all about my body & getting it fixed. (6th house Leo, does that factor in here?) Almost my body stuff resulted in financial crisis for me at the time, but I fought tooth & nail to stay in the game & keep that cheddar coming, so crisis averted there.

    I also had a little surgery June 2013, & another big one Sept 2013. Since May 2010 I’ve had four surgeries, none prior (except cesarean birth with my son 2006). Is that a lot? Because it’s starting to seem like a lot– and I have three more to go (I found out recently).

    So here comes April, & I see my new surgeon re thoracic spine on the 10th. The scopes say that things are going to start popping pretty fast, so maybe I’ll be getting my spine righted before April’s over? And this would totally effect me financially: I’d have to take an unpaid FMLA for 12 weeks or so. But it would be one of those zaps that I’d just have to suck up to take care of
    Me. Maybe I won’t have a job to return to. I don’t care. Maybe i’ll have a
    *better* job to return to–

    I found an opening I’m excited about! Will apply tomorrow with the New Moon. Kismet–

    I bought a kite today, nothing fancy. It’s an owl kite πŸ™‚ As soon as it stops snowing I’m flying. Skating feels like flying, with friction. Aww yeah.

    Back to work! x

    • Sounds like the surgeries are zz issues. Is Aries your 2nd and Libra your 8th? Where’s the cardinal cross occurring in your houses?

      • My 2nd doesn’t start until 24Β° Aries; my 8th begins at 24Β° Libra. So that’s 1st for Uranus & 7th for Mars. Then, Pluto’s in my 11th & Jupiter in my 5th. I don’t get my health-body thing at all re the ZZ astro but it feels like a thing. ?

        • Health is always a thing. Energy does strange stuff. Sometimes, it so sublimated by various forces it goes in under ground currents, erupting as health or home repairs, natural disasters, things like that. I do believe the ZZ is amping your 2nd/8th axis this summer. I recall the eclipses happening at the 24 axis, which is a pretty powerful activation of those houses for you. What are your values and how to they impact others? Knowing what I know about your job, I’d say that question is a fuq ton of stress, love. x

          • Fuq ton of stress: check. :/ It totally transfers to my body & that’s always been the case. Is it any wonder that my surgery in 2010 was on my uterus? Nope. And that it now requires another one (the *last* one)? Nope!

            And then my back, you know? My Spine. Core. 5 planets in 8th house/Scorpio, it’s like an energy transfer station, high voltage gonna fry your body shiz. ! I totally need to change my game up before it snaps me in two.

            I hear that.

            • I’ve got no advice for you, but clarity is nice, no? To see what your task is in caring for yourself. Its amazing how differently we are all wired. I can’t imagine the voltage. I’ve been pondering my Venus-Jupiter-Neptune T-square and wondering how to use Neptune at an Apex being its near my NN. Pondering on dream weed and wine, mind you.

              You need to find a channel that works for you (duh). But…this is a hard thing. Sometimes – maybe this is a 12th house thing – it helps to depersonalize the energy. Almost like you’re planning someone else’s life for them. Fuq. There’s 12th house virgo, right there, lol.

              I don’t know, dear. Good luck though. 8th house is a big one for you. That’s collective energy there. So its big for all of us too.

        • And– can’t believe I didn’t think of this before– almost lost my dad to cancer in 2008. Very, very dark journey through sickness & a long, uncertain recovery. And it struck quickly. Very Tower card. Patriarch. ZZ.

    • Scorp Rinc! Love it. You sound really spirit-lifted, how wonderful!
      I have always wanted to learn how to roller skate but never did. The ex was always full of doom and gloom about how dangerous it was. But there is a rink near where I live that does lessons on weekends…. your post has inspired me to check it out xx

      • Yes GO! Bend a bit at the knees, give it time, & you’ll be great πŸ™‚

        When I was a kid & first learning to skate, I used to “skate” around the house on the carpet before I graduated to concrete & rinks. I think the carpet skating was a good chance to get a feel for the skates before going on a smooth surface. Plus, it was a cushy landing.

        Can’t wait to hear how you’re coming along, Chrysalis! It’s a wonderful feeling. xx

    • If you have any say in the surgery scheduling, I would wait until Mars is direct. x

    • I hope all goes well with the surgeries and your future.

      Re the skating, if i was 30 or more years younger I’d love to give that Roller Derby thing a go!

      • Thank you x

        I so wanted to do roller derby, but I’ve been advised against contact sports. Kind of a let down, but I’ll live without knocking chicks around the rink. I guess.

        Docs aren’t thrilled with my skating & horsey biz, either, but the question of derby was met with a firm No.

        We will have to settle for living vicariously through them from the cheering section, Kittybat. Rah Rah! Love your name, btw πŸ™‚

        • Guess what with the skating & horseys you aren’t in need of more contact sports!
          I do understand the need for that though, it stimulates the aura in a very interesting way.
          Sometimes I am frustrated by Dr.’s well-meaning recommendations. I know my options of exercise all imply pain at some level, but “gentle walks” & pilates suq! I am going to take up kick-boxing again one day.
          In the meanwhile, I will be thinking of you and wishing you the very best when these ops come to fruition (weird word choice, fruity surgery, oh well). Do keep us in the loop, xx.

          • Kick boxing, yeah! Never tried it, but I can totally see why you might prefer it to gentle walks & Pilates (yawn).

            When I’m skating (& same is true for horse riding), so long as I don’t fall (& I can’t remember the last time I did) it’s a safe activity πŸ˜‰ Now yoga, on the other hand, so severely fuqed me up the last time I tried it that I’m not going anywhere near that again until my spinal cord is in the clear. Just the way my back is twisted. Plus, yoga isn’t in my blood. Not like skating & horses.

            I have always wanted to be a race car driver too! Haha I got a need for speed, baby! My dad loves to tell the stories about how fussy I was as a baby & the only thing that would put me to sleep was driving through the countryside in his ’67 Chevelle, which my parents would often do @ 2am for some peace & quiet. So yeah, that’s me πŸ™‚

            xx Andro

          • So yes: if I ever strike it rich, I’m going to get a rink, a pimped 67 Chevelle, a dj-massage therapist, & a chauffeur. Uranus Aries 1st house, Mars *Retro* in 7th. Party at my place! πŸ˜›

  12. Thanks Mystic, scopes as usual give so much practical stuff to work with – love it.
    It’s been a strange time. Actual life and death situs happening in the lives of so many of my loved ones right now. There really is some sort of reset happening for everyone, isn’t there.
    Been a strange time for me. Dark moon funk has totally set in. Have spent three days doing nothing but sleep and try to manage my anxiety which has shot up to about eleven. Mars in Cancer pass-agg ex still causing divorce dramas and delays. Finally signed financial papers – weeks late – which SHOULD mean there’s nothing more he can do to hurt me.
    Have been spending lot of time with the Weatherbeaten Virgo. Perhaps that’s why I feel so out of control. He is pursuing me quietly and respectfully, he is funny and smart and kind and the bedwork is fuqing unbelievable. Yet I just want to run away. Venus in Aqua doesn’t want to get attached.

    • hugs Chrys – totally (un)work this dark moon and rest up. Its no wonder you are anxious with the divorce stuff resurfacing, cross fingers it is all now done and dusted. Yes a new relationship sitch will tend to unbalance one, lovely though it sounds (virgos very good for pisceans!) and especially after so long (and “so long, goodbye”) with the hubby. Take care and maybe do a new moon ritual tomorrow to really embrace this next phase? xx

      • Thanks hon I am doing just that – taking it super-easy. I plan on a long walk today (weather finally cooled down enough to walk in the middle of the day) and then stay in bed.
        New moon is conj my Vesta in natal 9th/solar 2nd. Have scheduled a wallet / budget overhaul for today and appropriate affirmations/intentions at new moon time…
        Hope you are feeling better too and the ink is drying on the last page of that thesis xx

    • hey c, you’re also fresh out of a divorce, so if he’s respectful [sounds like it] he must give you the space and time you need to re-occupy your own universe and proceed at the pace You want.

      • Yep I’ve made it pretty clear where I’m at (ie nothing that feels like a ‘relationship’ – ugh) and so far so good.
        Hey I saw your other post re the Leonic Piscean, you had mentioned before you would be seeing her in April… sounds so draining already… hope you can keep the protective force-fields up?? Something useful I learned from my years in radio was to “put them in the sound-proof booth” ie you can see them talking / carrying on but you can’t hear or ‘feel’ anything they’re doing because they are psychically muted. You have Saturn in Leo so make him stand between the two of you and absorb all her energy xx

        • thanks… that’s helpful. am getting better at distancing myself and not giving too much. she really needs to be on stage, its the only way she will get what she needs. definite talent, i will say that.

        • also I am SO happy that you have this lovely rugged virgo in your life, regardless of the current state of play πŸ™‚

  13. I have job interview Tuesday. finally after months of intermittent searching and the timing couldn’t be better, post new moon

    More my world, t shirt company with ethics and a cool fun vibe – with more open minded peeps in a groovy area

    It would be perfect place for me to learn more of what I need to know for my biz Plan AAA re digital printing on natural fibres

    if I get this job I will be convinced the zap zone has been my friend bringing me the changes I needed to make and the people I needed to meet

    • Best of luck Double Happiness! I’ve a job interview tomorrow too. It’s the New Moon morning in Sydney so I’ve got my fingers crossed it’s going to work for me too πŸ™‚

  14. Thanks for the scopes MM. I dig your spin on the aspects and your humour, along with your suggestions. πŸ™‚

  15. Everyone should find their own zap zone song and listen to it a million times. Folks, Mystic, I just found mine. I’d share it, but Marz is retrograde and so I’m stealth, secretive till direct.

    • Haha had a few – “Tightrope ” Janelle Mornay for a couple of years, it morrphed into “Happy” by Pharell just recently – good sign!

  16. I’ve been reading a bit about Eris of late. Have been doing some heavy investigation of my chart regarding the Zap Zone of April. By chance, I came across some information astrologically on Eris, a recently discovered dwarf planet (2005) just beyond Pluto. Interesting stuff. She was found in the constellation of Aries and has been sitting there ever since. Since she is a slow moving planet, most of us born in the last 50 years or so have her natally between 11 to 22 degrees of Aries – how Zap is that? (Or at least the early bit).
    Her mythology is worth examining in terms of feminine archetype and she moves between lawlessness and the correct use of power She suffers no fools gladly and will, like Pluto, demolish outmoded things. Vanity is also just not her thing – there is a very interesting story there too to do with her inadvertently starting the Trojan War, read it if you can. In Greek mythology she was the bride of Ares, and was seen to possess equal power to him when it came to the art of war; and there she in her planetary formation sitting in the constellation of Aries, interesting I think.
    I am now wondering whether this Zap Zone is asking us to open up to a whole new way of being, especially in terms of power and how we use it – as in an ethical and truthful way that allows us to progress outward, in much the same way the universe does in actuality. Initially I was scared as to what I was being propelled into, whereas now I see it as an incredible catalyst for change – as radical as Eris is asking us to be at this time. As we discover new planets and their role in our cosmos, we open up to new experiences but also new responsibilities. Eris is not an easy mythology/energy to work with but she is incredibly powerful and can be benefic, provided that the correct use of power is applied to change and expansion. To me, she is a new key, much like the Cardinal Cross that is coming, that opens us up to something very new and different, something that we are desperately in need of at this moment in time.
    The dictionary meaning for portal is a large gateway or an imposing gate. I think we are all standing right in front of one at the moment.

    Anyway, that’s my hippy astro rave. Happy ZZ everyone.

    • Thanks geminian, I have been trying to find more about Eros not much luck so far apart from the outcast Greek myth thing. Fair buff I guess. Eros is exact on my MC natally (thus also exact opposite natal Pluto IC) and Juno is currently on my MC too. I figured as Eris was an outcast I was doomed to be invisible forever. The zap zone over this axis might change things but not sure how to make that happen. Prog Leo asc, rich and famous sounds good to me. Not so sure about infamous. πŸ˜‰

        • Whoa that is spooky. I have my progressed ascendant in Leo too, my MC is a little earlier than yours, and Eris is about to conjunct my Venus in Aries, interesting 10th house stuff afoot with Juno in the mix, perhaps we can be infamous together πŸ˜‰

          • You two MUST read the Illuminatus trilogy by Robert Anton Wilson!!! Or the Principia Discordia or any of that stuff. I reckon Discordianism is the only “religion” a Gemini can get behind, or at least this one. πŸ™‚ Rather good for the ZZ too. I have a golden apple on my bumper. πŸ™‚ Hail Eris!!!

            • Also, at least in her modern myth, she’s not so much an outcast as she is the ultimate self-made renegade. Chaotic good. And, y’know, only for eyes that would see, not the masses.
              Such a badass MC, pi! She’s on my SN at the (very long) moment, and we’ve been working together for two years. It’s definitely been liberating!!

              • Thanks so much for that am definitely investigating both tomes. Cheers! Love this forum πŸ™‚

            • Hey thanks Dragon queen, will look up for sure. Been thinking of you out there xx

              Nice work there Gemini ladies xox

  17. Goldstein house – I think the owner is an alien. That house is a spaceship.
    I went there once and it blew my mind. To be in the space takes you somewhere else not here. I think this pic totally fits the Zap Zone for me.

  18. Mystic, I am an active dreamer most of the time, and my dreams are the usual wacky mashup of whatever is going on. However, about three weeks ago, something changed and my dreaming is very very different. The most drastic thing is that every single night, my dream is in the present time, with present people at their current ages and normal type circumstances. As if I’m just living a similar version of my current life while I’m asleep. This is radically different from my usual pattern of dreaming. It is remarkable that it happens every night, with a different important person from my life. I have also sensed a pattern in this over time, that each dream has a specific thing that I need to address or overcome. It is so formulaic, every night it’s a scenario that plays out as if it were real life, for me to review and glean something from. So so different and strange, but rewarding. I wonder if this will last or if it’s just a temporary phenomenon?