Conscious Uncoupling Is Totally Libran – Gwyneth, Call Your Agent

Harpers-Bazaar-Ukraine-July-2013-Gwyneth-Paltrow-Magazine-Cover

Hey here is Gwyneth Paltrow on the cover of Bazaar Ukraine last July.  Ukraine. Gwyneth. How on point is that?

There are a few posts on Gwyneth here – mostly because i consider her a sort of surreal ultra Libra (and she does have a LOT of Libran planets – Pluto, Sun, Mercury, Uranus and Lilith) but also as i have often liked hate-reading her “lifestyle” newsletter  Goop.

And seriously – using the term “consciously uncoupling” to describe the breakup with Coldplay’s Chris Martin after 12 years is GENIUS.  I mean, it’s brilliantly Libran and euphemistic but it is also really MODERN. The words “divorce” or “split up” or “separation” reek of ancien regime, Catholic in the Dark Ages judgement.

Everyone sophisticated knows that a lengthy relationship breaking up is replete with mixed emotions – it’s not just a matter of ‘yeah sweet, your hair sucks, i never liked your friends anyway’ and then you’re out the door. And obviously especially not with kids involved.

So i completely approve the conscious uncoupling message she is trying to put out there.  We should support it.

And while i am in Gwyneth defense mode – I once pointed out that Apple as a girls first name IS actually the name of the heroine in a Truman Capote manuscript that never got published. So that is amazingly cool.  And in a world where children are abused and enslaved, do we honestly care if some celebrity gives their child a name we think is unusual? That’s weird.

So now i would like to see Gwyneth acting again – less boasting about her culinary skills and having honed her bum into being like that of a 20 year old stripper – that all sounded a bit Surrendered Wifey. 

She can act. I think she was genius in a number of things. She SHOULD have been Daisy in The Great Gatsby for fuqs sake.

Memo To Gwyneth:  yes consciously uncouple, if you are not actually celiac, maybe go and have a slice of sourdough bread with some oilve oil or something and then call your agent re actual acting work.

If Atlas Shrugged is still up for remake, she would be an epic Dagny Taggart.

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123 thoughts on “Conscious Uncoupling Is Totally Libran – Gwyneth, Call Your Agent

  1. “conscious uncoupling” Hate it!!!

    It’s COLD and superficial.

    I have Uranus /Pluto & Mars in 8th, Sun, Neptune. Mercury and Eros in Scorp.
    Sugar-coating is not for me.

    • My double Leo Mom was conscious alright when she found my Aries father coming out of another woman’s apt. and slapped his glasses off his face…He got a restraining order on her, she wanted to blow his head off with a shot gun. Yeah, they were conscious alright. lol

      In my case, I was conscious for my girls. They were 7 and 12. I never said one cross thing about their father in front of them. I think I called him a “ding dong” once.

      Think for the little ones it especially important to be conscious.

      Haven’t seen it yet (commercial time) but Good Morning America promo’d “conscious uncouplking….what it all means”…

      Think what is sad is that we need such a term in the first place. Like it’s novel to be freakin’ “conscious”.

      In any case, Chris Martin has a Leo Moon. Maybe she didn’t stand toe to toe to him in an argument and instead cow-tow’d to keep the peace. Fire signs lose their respect in such instances. Perhaps her Libra/Gem elements just were not “queenly” enough for him as my Pisces (Chris Martin is also Pisces) Leo Moon ex used to call me his “queen” in that I was strong, etc.

      Perhaps if they are saying they are now “closer than they have ever been”, means friendship, no passion. Leo Moon def needs passion, maybe they just evolved into friends.

    • Oh, and I’m an 8th house Virgo Sun, Pluto, Uranus, Venus, Mercury, opposite 2nd house Pisces Saturn and Chiron wih Neptune in Scorpio. So maybe I’d downplay any Libra “transformation”.

      • I don’t mind GP either way – I think she correctly referenced “conscious uncoupling” on GOOP and showed that it wasn’t something she has ‘invented’. It seemes to date from about 2000. Needless to say, mental health and counselling industries are innovating around relationship issues, just as we are here with ‘love zombie’ etc. There was a vile piece in my local paper today about how GP “makes women feel bad about themselves” etc – this sort of attitude only increases the power of celebrity, lending them the power to ‘make us’ feel things about ourselves. If one allows this to happen, its one’s own boundaries that need strengthening. I have had several long-term relationships break ups, in which both parties felt deep sadness etc yet had to move on.

      • Haha right? Nice, W.

        And that totally gave me an aha moment: my natal 2nd house Toro is empty, which means nothing opposes my Scorp 8th house bits– nothing. Lol

  2. omg guys this is bril – Slate kills it with “Goopify your relationship status.” I am “artisanally liberated!” LOL

  3. Think its pretentious – understand your take on it MM and thats a lofty ideal which I can see credit in – but think its just sugar coating what everyone knows is a very painful and often ugly thing – I find many of her things superficial and pretentious, although she can act I give her that.

  4. Just wanted to share: didn’t get accepted into the masters programme I applied for back in january. Never mind. Little upset but not majorely. I didn’t raise my expectations unlike my friend who did and felt the rejection majorely. Revision is going slowly..feeling tired from diet. Its not even making any difference. I guess I have been uncoupled from this chance lol.

    Thankyou for all those who encouraged me, supported me and wrote sweet messages. You’ve got me on my feet again! Infact I even have my eyes on someone new.

    Just wondering how long would you wait before persuing someone new?

    • As soon as I thought someone was worth pursuing, I’d pursue. I’m picky so I rarely get the impulse and get relentless when I do.

    • Vslr, hope you are well! A speed bump, not a sinkhole, yeah? So you have consciously uncoupled from that particular uni, keep up your cognitive calisthenics 😉 Go get ’em! xx

  5. I actually think it sounds wanky as all hell, but then I have sagg moon and absolutely no Libra in my chart.

    It sounds like a meditation session…”Now Chris, I want you to slowly visualise yourself moving away from Ms Paltrow. You have an angel on your left hand side. How are you feeling? etc”.

    There has to be a better term! I don’t even like the term coupling. It sounds like something to to with railway switching yards. Actually I don’t like any words used to describe a partnership (even partnership itself!)—Pisces rising? We are all free spirits dancing in the wind

    ….I’ve got it! The relationship has moved to the next level—unilateral independence!!

    UNILATERAL INDEPENDENCE.

    • Agree.. it does sound like they went to see a hypntherapist/NLP person who got them to reframe their situation and produced this phrase.

    • I find it very amusing that you have no Libra in your chart, and yet your handle homage to Lux Interior…he was a Libra! 😀

      But you know you might have secret Libra in your chart. I have secret Aquarius in mine, based on where Uranus and Saturn is and my 11th house….

    • I have Mars-Pluto-Mercury and Uranus in Libra. It sounds wanky as hell.

      I don’t know what to call partners now, but I have grown to like “partner” as a word because it has multiple meanings and is therefore ambiguous, unlike “boyfriend” (cringe). Maybe it is a Pisces/12th house thing…funny that. I called my ex “rajli” which means “my man” but in another language so it always sounded kind of made up to me.

      • “rajli” or “rajuli”is arabic for “my man” like you said…it made me lol because in the ME only “marti” is used for “my wife”. Girls tend to go for “habibi/hobbi” my love. Yet to hear “rajuli” being used… 😛

          • Funny – you’ve explained something to me. Once his friend got irritated with me for calling my ex rajli all the time. He said it sounded rude, but I didn’t get it. Even my ex was like “huh?” He called me mrati, I called him rajli. funny

      • ive never been a fan of the word ‘partner’. it implies a business arrangement to me.
        i call mine my other half. people keep thinking this means we’re married. we are not. tho i dont consider myself to only be half a person when hes not around so its problematic in itself.
        words. so many layers.
        sometimes the world would be easier in silence.
        except maybe when you need to alert someone to danger. mime really wouldnt cover, ” run for your life” quite as immediately i dont think.
        i digress.

    • Oh I like unilateral independence! But with Sun Venus Mars in Scorpio, NN in Sagg, & Chiron Aries in the first, I would. 😉

      Conscious uncoupling: is that like the pull-out method?

  6. Have to totally disagree with you on this one MM. Have always found GP slightly creepy and repugnant and do not think she would in anyway suit the role of Dagny Taggart. Look at that simpering smile for fuq sake….creepy.

  7. I think ‘conscious uncoupling’ sounds great. To this Gemini with a Venus-Mars sextile in gentle Taurus & Cancer that sounds to me how it should be. Enough with the painful break-ups and drama.

    It’s fitting that even their demise as a couple is still irritating people beyond belief with their trademark twee/ highmindedness! (See http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2589524/Gwyneth-Chris-mark-split-holiday-Bahamas-gifts-painting-bird-flight-mark-new-stage-lives.html)

  8. Dunno about Gwyneth – to me she is the epitome of the so passé Pampered Hollywood Princess, for whom eternal immaturity is cute and charming and so de rigueur. Knew from the get-go her marriage would fail. Chris Martin would never feel at home in the Hamptons. Personally I think GP is still so heavily invested in her daddy’s little princess persona and the bubble of protection her family connections provide that she has never been required to mature into reality. I’m sure she found the differences in Chris’ background ‘enchanting’ – at first. But it could never stand the test of reality. I suspect her next man will be a wealthy, Hollywood type with clout, someone who indulges the perpetual ingenue belief she has of herself and definitely someone who can oil the path of her aspirations. In other words, someone the opposite of Chris.

  9. I have more Libra than Gwyneth but my Scorpio Sun just says NO to conscious uncoupling.

    She’s one of those people I always dislike the concept of but when I see her acting or being interviewed I can’t help but like.

    • What is it that makes Scorpio Sun say no to such a thing?
      This isn’t a veiled criticism, I am curious about the different love vibe and am don’t want to be presumptuous.

      • Scorps don’t mind things getting deep, dark, passionate, sometimes unpleasant etc etc … all that stuff that Librans find unseemly and impolite.
        Think Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights – surely he was a Scorp… def a love zombie. LOL
        He dug up Cathy’s grave. Would a Libran do that?

        Of course I’m generalising here..

      • Right. For me, it’s too flowery-airy, as if to deny the very real pain & even ecstasy of this sort of split. Denies the intensity. As if divorce is cognitive gymnastics. Where’s the emo? Not that she needs to be public with it– I don’t care for that either haha– but that’s what I don’t like about this conscious uncoupling verbiage.

      • Not necessarily.. not that I can speak for others & life goals vary for each couple/individual.
        But I have NN couple friends who are in constant drama, challenged on a very personal level, while my Gem and I are a SN couple (his stellium in Gem is on my SN) it’s very easy, friendly and stable.
        Our challenges are..external to us.

        But because our NN’s have very little in common with each other’s charts, it is reaally important we are supportive of each other’s personal goals & respect time spent towards those things. The upside is I learn about things that round me out without being very interested in them, just by osmosis.

        He has NN in Cap so my interest in the financial goings on is enhanced along with realism re goals/time. Then my NN in Sagg enhances his outdoors/spiritual life etc. Other harmonious synastry comes into play too.

        In Gwyn’s place I think being a ‘star’ is tricky for relationships. Some old opera singer asked her suitor when she came off stage to roaring applause if he could offer her something that equalled ‘that’. That’s quite a demand.

      • I had a relationshit with someone where their moon was on South Node. It means you already had a coupling in the past. You won’t learn as much stuff from this life if you do, but it feels comfortable. And if there was any resentment or urnesolved something it will surely come back to kick you in the teeth. Not worth it IMHO! North node feels more uncomfortable but it’s where you evolve.

      • I’ve noticed (for perhaps less evolved people in terms of their capacity for intimacy and connection?) south node does indicate a split. Usually the node person, not the planet person, will start to feel suffocated. For example, I read for some friends who were room mates with each other. One had her moon on the other’s south node and I could feel how smothered the node person was starting to feel and they split (one moved out) within months. Guy I just split with had his Juno on my SN. I never called bs on a relationship so quickly. It was like “I’ve been here, not going back.” I’m sure its beautiful when two have evolved to balance the connection.

        • I think that you make a valid point about how the ‘stifling’ quality SN relationships can have. In my personal case though we have amazing synastry in other ways, he has lots of 5th house placements that makes for Leo enjoyment.
          But also Gem is Aqua Rising while I have NN in the 7th plus loads of Cancer to his Cancer Moon. Plus a water mars/venus trine don’t hurt.

        • The Leo’s Saggy moon is exact on my SN in the 3rd. His Scorp asc. almost exact on my Neptune.

          Probs why we stuck through all the shit together…and like Andro, we have very different interests- I’m arty, he is sporty

          • My moon is kind of conjunct the Pisces SN – His SN is 23 Leo and my moon is 13 – not much of a conjunction. I felt like I had to mother him – I mean, dude couldn’t buy his own food, clothing, batteries, brakes anything yet – he wanted his independence. Yuck. I have a child to raise (my Uranus in on her SN, btw). My Sag soul mate, my Pluto-Mars-Merc was on his SN. I had a REALLY hard time letting go of him and (I am not proud to admit) made him suffer as I did.

            • Just realized my moon is conjunct my Dad’s SN. Def not a comforting relationship for me, lol. Also, just realized Mom’s Neptune is conjunct my Sun, no wonder I never felt really seen by her.

            • oh the moon/SN guy I was with needed to be taken care of so much. He was a perpetual teenager. It sucked me dry and was so unattractive. Not again.

        • Torro and I have my Juno and his SN. For us it was like finally we are together again! Very sweet and loving. We also have my SN and his sun.

  10. They are probably more like Space Dust buddies who sit around using “the occult” and “weird bad shit man” as scapegoats for the regular chaos outbreaks.

  11. That’s two post to many ( her & KK) on celeb crap..
    If I didn’t like you so much I would pull a ‘pseudo intellectual ..’ rant on you ;-))

      • omg, I watched a Portlandia repeat the other night and have had “I am the pull out king” repetitively haunting my mind ever since. Now that’s changed to “I am the Leo king”… fuq, never mind, you probably had to be there. Brain farts and cheeseball astro marketing aside, he’s quite a cutie…

      • He looks like the Tony Robbins of astro!
        This sun king could very well conjunct my Leo moon & N Node.
        Courtesan me…off to stalk him with my fire :-))

        Thanks for sharing.

      • OMG – a Leo astrologer? The boy must have an Aquarius Moon, then! Or Sun/Uranus – he mentioned in the video he’s turning 30, so that would put him in the Uranus in Sadge gen.

        He’s cute, but young and mostly flash as opposed to substance, IMO. This particular line in his “about” page turned my stomach a bit:

        “David has given astrology readings to all types of people, including the rich and famous, people that have deep issues they need to overcome…”

        Pompous little prick, but he’s obviously got a gimmick that works for him whether or not *I* happen to like it. I must say I’m not fond of the approach, though – I’m a Uranus in Scorp baby and we likes our astrology with a bit more depth, we dos!

      • TY for the Leo King shout-out, MM. As an AstroChick myself, I’m proud to call David my friend and very proud of his astro style. He’s done such a brill job of working his Saturn return.

        BTW…The Leo King is amazing between the sheets. His Leo/Scorpio combo is so damn hot …my BFF the TechnoGeminiMermaid really needs to pen a tell-all–LOL

      • Thank you for sharing, I love David Palmer! I know him professionally and personally and he is simply an amazing man! He has daily inspirational horoscopes, A Week in Advance with Chris Anderson Onefeather and Spiritual House Music- once a week. Check out … The Leo King!

        • AJ Johnson, Virgo. Part time actress, fitness guru, life coach and spokeswoman for various causes. Eternally upbeat.
          Tasked with giving lohan direction.
          She starts with a tarot reading for her every day.
          Has her own aj zone website. No mention of tarot. And lives in possibly one of the smallest and most cluttered ‘ better’ apartments in New York. I’m trying to work out whether it’s real or she’s scored a whacky reality acting role.

          • I’m intrigued by AJ Johnson too – but from how she comes across on ‘Lindsay’ she seems really together and could be a great influence on LL… But my impression of Lindsay from the O Network show is she is up against too much internal baggage and chaos for a good influence to have much effect on her.

            What do you make of the show? The first episode, I actually felt a lot of empathy and compassion for Lindsay – she seemed like a good person at heart… and maybe she is, but the next two episodes showed someone who is really unable to see anything outside of herself.

  12. GENIUS GENIUS GENIUS
    excuse the blow job but seriously
    YES!

    um what she said.. like EVERYTHING x 1000

    literally (and I hate that amplifier) but literally EVERYTHING above

    i can die now, happy in the knowledge that there is someone out there in cyber space who “gets it” too …
    ahhhhh
    where would I be without this blog?
    shudders
    perish the thought

    long live this blog

  13. I must admit on first reading it I thought what a bunch of wank. Conscious uncoupling?
    But then an internal giggle surfaced. It’s really a very polite ” f#ck you” to the media. Gossip mags want controversy, tears, a third party. She’s given them amicable parting of ways.

    I slide between loathing and admiration for ms p.
    roll my eyes at her delusional moments but sometimes she hits on simplicity at almost genius level.

    But I’ll add this announcement to the list of era endings happening right now.

    Wonder if Ukraine manages to find as amicable an end.

    • Grow some tits indeed!
      Fuq that air stuff…’conscious whatever…’
      The Aries sun (Zap?) makes me want to smash her thigh gap ass in the mud.
      I so dislike the privileged insight.

      • Oh, um, err, well actually I really like it. Was having a Gemini wordgasm moment. 🙂 And I would love to use it, as telling people I’m separated or divorced leaves such a complex foulness in my mouth.

        I do get where you’re coming from. It IS an expression of privilege, and definitely could be hurtful to anyone who has been forcibly uncoupled, or left an abusive partner, or gone through a nasty divorce. In fact, my ex would probably react exactly the same way as you, since he didn’t want to be uncoupled. Hm.

  14. I was disappointed the Vanity Fair takedown did not happen. She lost me at “take the Peruvian Lala Beans and marinate for ten hours with some duck oil and gold dust” type waffle. but yes to her as Daisy for sure. Carey was not languid wasp enough. Question: is Russell Crowe making his way to London to offer a kindly shoulder?

  15. I love it too – I think it’s SOOOO Libran.

    I’m going all out in support. I’m gunna stop unconsciously coupling and get consciously uncoupling pronto!

  16. I don’t like her at all, for the reasons Mystic cited. And yet…I love her It’s All Good cookbook! Whether she can take credit or it’s all her chef friend…I don’t really care. For someone with a bunch of food allergies, that’s a book full of tasty recipes – I cook from it all the time. So I for one, don’t have a problem with her putting something good into the world. I don’t think eating healthy is anything pretentious. A huge improvement over her “LOL, I’m skinny fat but am still a clotheshanger for preppy Hamptons fashion” persona of always. Talk about a yawnfest. Glad she’s grown some tits. 😉

    • I liked that book too. Despite my best efforts to find reasons to dismiss it as pretentious. Some good recipes which weren’t beyond mortal capabilities

  17. This is the art of the Libran, this is real Libra to a T, the ultimate ‘I control the message’ and ‘How to’ do zap zone graciously and live life authentically. Librans are modern. Stealth. Strength. They are headling the zap zone, leading, out finding their own way through their life, and its about relationships, identity and self-transformation.

  18. Oh, Mystic, you are sooo good at explaining the modern world.

    Weirdly I was just thinking of old Gwyneth and Chris & wondering how they managed to have such a good relationship. Then, boom, they split up. Must be more aware of such thoughts.

  19. As a subscriber to GOOP, I got an email today linking to the uncoupling article. It felt a bit surreal having someone I don’t know personally emailing me to say that their marriage had broken up, but then I thought GP is in control of the message and less power to the media outlets and I thought that was kinda a cool Liltih thing to do. Even though she can come across as all beige Stepford Wife, I agree with Mystic’s posts that over the past couple of years she has become stronger, more assertive and sometimes unafraid to be controversial to stand by her truth (paraphrasing Mystic). I might not agree with all of GP’s truths but I like her occasional ballsiness. Or should be following Lily Allen’s suggestion of “lose the balls, grow some tits” and say GP has become titsy?

  20. Wow, all her Libra is in the Zone, in the 7th house no less!

    She is beginning to have her Uranus opposition. Makes total sense if there was ever a time for change.

    My ex Kataka husband and I had a very amicable divorce. Peeps said I should have written a book on how to do that…It’s really not that hard if you are conscious. I know circumstances vary and emo’s run high in some instances but luckily not in ours.

    • That’s great. I think society needs to change its view of divorce. It can actually be such a positive thing, but we are expected to greet it with horror and grief.

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