The Christmas Zodiac has been a phenomenon long before today’s gaudy and consumerist Christmas spectacle.
In pre-Christian days, this time of year was an officially deemed time of “misrule” and debauchery. It was a harvest celebration.
Or, in some other cultures, it honored a war-lordly Persian Sun-God.
Currently, it is a hybrid festival in transition. Some people will seize any excuse for a party. Others are increasingly adopting more mindful and frugal Christmases. Many reject the whole deal out of contempt for its consumerist nature. For some, it triggers traumatic or unpleasant childhood memories. There are many other deities and religious traditions around this time. And then there is the fact that Jesus was probably not a Capricorn.
However, we can divide the Christmas Zodiac into the Elements and come up with a broad operating hypothesis.
The Fire Signs
Their celebration ideal is bigger, better and more garish than God on a bender. They want cos-play, fireworks and Christmas lights you can see from space. They’re competitive, active and will out-give anyone.
The Earth Signs
They’re all about the banqueting and the opportunity to sloth on the couch for massive marathoning of television series. And, to be fair, the chance to connect with family and fulfill deep-down Dynasty-fantasies.
Deep Down, Christmas Is Still Saturnalia, The Week Of Misrule & Debauchery.
The Air Signs
Air signs are the most likely to find mass-compulsory celebrations plebian and hideous. They’re often drawn to unique seasonal getaways and secure secret bolt-holes for the purpose. They also don’t want to have dull their wits by obligatory Xmas catch-ups.
The Water Signs
They’d prefer to do something hyper-magic and meaningful than the standard commercialized hell. But if they can’t meditate in a crystal pyramid on a ley line before swearing allegiance to Abraxas, they’ll often flip last minute. They’re last-minute deadline shoppers, frantically googling for luxury tinsel and blasting the naffest Xmas music they can find.
Image: David Lachapelle
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