Mercury Retrograde Had Become Too Much…

Filed in Astro Gaga

Grey Magazine

It was nearly over.

The stupidest transit in the history of the world.

Pluto transits were an exquisite hot fuqed up hell of their own but at least they DID something, thought Hypatia. Yet that was the night she realized Mercury Retrograde had completely done her best friend’s head in.

The Auto-Stalk App her Piscean friend had invented was one thing, I mean, what’s a bit of surveillance between, well, imaginary loverst?  It’s not like the N.S.A. wouldn’t do it. Right?

Plus it was kind of unreliable, nothing beats having real-life eyes on the ground. It’s not like you would trust your future sex life to a drone.

But the insistence on crap hair product, her ostenatious, OBVIOUSLY soon-to-be-abandoned hippy attempt to d.i.y. everything for authenticity…and then the final irony: she’d become a 24-7 Pilates Geek. “Check my bridge,” she said on the way way upstairs to the event.  “Are my ribs softening?”

Her friend did not answer and it wasn’t just because of the lank petrochemical coated locks sticking to the lip gloss.  Hypatia hated her guts and was never taking one of her hair product recommendations again.


Image: Alessio Bolzoni – Grey Magazine

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79 thoughts on “Mercury Retrograde Had Become Too Much…

  1. I have Gemini rising so mercury retrograde is always bad to some extent. I think Friday was one of the WORST days of my life. The SO (significant other) went out for a change, so I was looking forward to some time to myself (since we’re both out of work). I did some computer stuff, then went to relax and couldn’t get the TV to turn on-he has it rigged through all this crap like Xbox, cable box, all kinds of stuff. I called him and he tried to talk to through but it still wouldn’t come on. Then I went out for a walk, figured I’d have a cup of coffee since I just the day before made a bank deposit. So my debit card won’t work, then my credit card won’t either. I went to the bank and the ‘monthly charge’ had gone through so I couldn’t even get the three dollars out that I needed. I was crying by then and went to email a friend and the email wouldn’t send. Kill me now. Please.

  2. Couldn’t fuqin stand her is right. From the sociopathic wiretapping (NSA hello?) to the crap advice & pre-k crafts: yuck. Girlfriend needs to get her shite together.


    • Maybe that wasn’t clear. It’s the wiretapping. I can tolerate crappy recommendations, even find charm in tacky crafts, but wiretapping is a deal-breaker. Even I, an uber Scorp, find that too low rent to associate myself with.

      I have heavy, relevant shit on my mind. Low rent drama isn’t making the cut this weekend.

  3. So the theme of the last week of this Merc retro, for me, seems to be dealing with pass-agg men. Nails on chalkboard, making your skin crawl, want to scratch their eyes out, pass-agg men. Wonder what the ‘message’ is……………?

    And I did tell a number of them off, too.

  4. I haven’t checked yet if I am a native Rx Merc but I am actually enjoying this one – the recheck! Loving it! Nipping those pesky probs in the bud before they turn into the day of the triffids

  5. Have had a plagiarism issue with my students that had me depressed and drinking all week. Now, after some investigation, I’m giving them zeros and feel better about it. Another depression/misery factor was zap zone realizations about an ex. Trying to get over that.

  6. Oh, Mystic, I love your stories!

    This MercRx very difficult, transits my 7th, having secret vivid dreams I don’t even tell myself about it, sleeping a lot, dreamy…

    Unable to exist on the practical plane. But I think my brain is working stuff out.

    I’m glad I don’t have to be there, really…

  7. maybe I should invent a special saturn vaginal exorcism yogic bridge position on the last day of merc stationing. In a stairwell of a school.

    I’ll wear Prada and invite all the yoga mums in their lulu under the pretense of look hotter than the girl next to you Yoga. We will invoke Lilith and I will be held by a fashion priestess with wet hair until saturn releases my vagina back to me.

  8. Ok, hmmmm, when Ms said the other day that Saturn had control of her vagina, I tried to errrrrr , picture it . (I’m a visual type of guy, it’s the way I understand things), then this picture above….I think that’s what’s going on here. Hypatia is attempting a type of Saturn vaginal exorcism and just to be sure, if a foetal Saturn attempts escape alien style, she will be ready with an extremely well built umbrella to whack it.

  9. i have a question unrelated to anything. you know how then there are 2+ women living under the same roof, menstrual cycles sync more or less. What would be going on for me if i am sharing space with a post-menopausal woman? sorry this is wierd i know. thanks.

    • Have never heard anyone say this; but, yes, it was a mystery to me during undergrad years that twice – once in a house with three women friends – we all were in synch after a few months!

      I’d love to know what you learn re your current question.Since I am now post-menopausal and just learned [this week!] that this can be considered a condition, not a stage of life, but a condition by insurance companies in terms of billing. Very weird to me. I’ll be watching them and the docs a bit more closely!

      • it’s all down to the olfactory realm, and us humans communicating via airborne chemical signals… we transmit so much it’s crazy. I watched a program recently where a group of men was [under scientific conditions] exposed to the particular hormone that women emit when they are ovulating. These guys demonstrated measurably higher physical strength, increased generosity, and a higher risk-taking preference (or something like that). they were surprised to say the least ) the scientists had to warn them that they would still be “under the influence” as they made their way home and so to be more careful!

    • My assumption would be that nothing much changes, eg you don’t stop because they have. Cycles, to me (in anything) are bigger than their tangible output (eg, period) so would still continue in some form.

      Someone will align with someone, either way or align by being in contrast/balance to the other.

    • I ve heard of this relating to living in college dorms …. living with postmeno i guess you would be pissed off often with hot flashes getting a lotta soy 🙂

  10. Girlfriend on the left could lengthen her vertebrae and TUCK #Pilates Geek here

    Can i relate to Pussy Riot more than my logical dating “targets’?


  11. I gotta say talk about people who don’t shut up… the guy who founded lululemon sportswear pretty much tells women who complain about the second batch of $98 yoga pants they are too fat to wear his product.

    Then in a second piece tries to blame breast cancer on liberated women.

    • LOL i walked into one of those stores and thought “anyone who pays $140 AUD for this top is a sucker or has way too much money. I wish I ‘d thought of this.” then again I wear the same paint-splashed trackpants to yoga that I wear when bushwalking so maybe I am a bad judge of such things. there was another post somewhere where brand lulu lemon received a righteous trashing.

      • I blame “yoga pants” I mean it’s sportswear. The whole point of yoga btw is to commune with the body mind and spirit, it’s not a f***ing exercise class so you can go and binge drink your sad ass afterwards. Fuck “yoga pants” in general. It’s so much the opposite of yoga its nauseating.

        • you know there was a push to try to make yoga an olympic sport, i think it’s awful. it a lifestyle more than anything else.

          but i see it in class..women want those sheer pants to show off and compete with others, yoga may have started as a spiritual study but what it’s become these days is so…meh.

          • That’s what happens when things aren’t taught properly and pander to the general population with all their low rent issues.

            Get a better school I say x

      • hahah! i know for pants that don’t do anything special like protect from cold, no thank you! Some people have more $ than brains.

        Seems pretty clear the guy who is in charge of lululemon is some lind of misogynist. so why even make women’s clothing if you dislike women so much?

        • It’s a husband and wife team. Saw something on twitter about peeps complaining their expensive pants were pilling (they claim the fabric is some high tech genius) and Lulu were saying it was because the wearers were too fat (ie thighs rubbing together !). Would never buy expensive branded clothing.

  12. Astro gifts-

    Venus/Mars Virgo Sun/Gem Moon teen- reborn as family mediator!! As Saturn midpoints his Venus/Mars!! As Mercury/NNode wash over his Venus. Fearless, blunt, funny- where is my scared rabbit child?

    He bends over backward to make peace!! Morphs into gorgeous, brave, sweet, productive and motivating dude!! The AdHD gives him omni-vision and he speaks to each perspective by turn. Loving this!

    I see a Merlin in the making!

    Xx Kat

  13. Mercury Retrograde Made Me Tidy Up

    since I now have my entire bed blissfully back to myself instead of sharing it with an unresponsive but passively protective Wall Of (Clean) Laundry, I am sleeping about 10 blissful hours a night. Feel like I am on holiday, but really I am just a Pisces with a refined ability to luxuriate for a little too among fresh pillows and woolen blankets while deadlines clamour for attention. Yes my pretties, I’m here…

    • Hey Pi, must be a Pisces thing cause Mercury Rx made me tidy up too!

      Oh the smell of fresh linen.

      Your comments re: Pisces luxuriating made me smile. The Italians have a phrase for it: “il dolce far niente” – the art of doing nothing. Pisces is practically BORN with this talent 🙂

      Mystic, hilarious post. Laughed out loud. x

    • Oh, thank fuq for that! I was thinking about you and your fortress of clothing as I put my laundry away yesterday… Welcome back! x

      • Haha! No way. That’s really sweet.
        I had such an interesting dream last night in my bed-paddock (as a toro ex once called his king size boudoir acreage). Is hard to explain here. When am nr a keyboard proper might try. I think went to life-stages pre-this-life. Wld love to hear what the intuitive peeps here think. So yes. Dreams

  14. I’m a Mercury Rx’er, it’s been bizarre but not unkind to me perse. There has been some weird stuff with communication and some changes in relationships at work. Inner peace child hasn’t dug it, inner truth warrior is all over it and has helped steady the course. Somewhere in the shake down the dust is clearing and the ground isn’t as unstable as anticipated. Oh.. it might be but my footing is steady enough and there is new light. This is how it goes…

    Mystic, that was very funny!

    It crystallised something for me… reminded me to always laugh myself silly when it all gets bat shit x

  15. Because uranus is ruling everything right now, if it’s not conjunct my MC its starting to natal conjunct transit saturn in part one of all your MF saturn transits at once –> uranus, sun, merc, then moon, venus, neptune, Dsc and then my 7th house. I’m not afraid of saturn, I’d just like to do saturn well

    Being a native merc retro’er I found this to be great for pulling out weeds, it was psyche purge to the max, I\m building a fortress, tossing up my options

        • Very well put! Yes.

          Also, these MercRX times actually feel comfortable as though everything makes more sense and is more aligned with your own perception. Other MercDirect people [true Muggles 🙂 quickly understand and agree with what you are saying when before they might look quizical about it. That feels more strange than anything! MercRX wonders what’s in the water until remembering this transit.

          Of course, for 2/3 of our lives we carefully and thoughtfully that we can feel understood and communicate with our very own species..Yes, it’s probably a bit like being an immigrant. Retrograde is a sigh of relief.

          • Yes, great observation. Merc Rx also…

            My Aries father actually recognized the other day (by a comment he made to me, ~me~, Aries but with Aries Merc Rx square Saturn mind you…)

            “You’re an introvert”..

            You would not know that by my comments here but thats my Gem Mars/Rising…the written word…in person I am quite different in some ways…but not too, too much. I mean I love to joke and dance in the halls at work but some things are deadly serious…like life…and like when I was younger I wondered if I would “go on living on the surface of self”…Luckily that was not my destinty.

            That is hilar Mystic… 😆

          • Hilarious DoubleGem. Yes! And totally I agree Ms. I’m Merc Stationary (in Scorp) so never know what to think (lol) – am I RX or Direct or some weird hybrid? I def always need a moment to take in and feel (wait for the out of focus to come into perfect focus) before I can give good response to anything. RX periods just means that people are on the same wavelength and get the ‘benefit’ of doing that! Ha..

  16. ugh, panel skirts

    I think prada just got to excited on their A/W active poses..

    Hilarious Mystic

    btw, how is haute hippie makeover ala Mysticsix working? progress update! x

  17. This retrograde saw me regret (yes with saddness) the loves/relationships this year that I let go of & pushed away at the first sign of trouble. Haven’t been very patient. Maybe its just me…trying to protect myself from being hurt.

    I hope mars in my sun for nine months doesn’t turn me into a bitch :((

      • Yep I’m with Ms on this. I’m a Libra walking away from genuine relationship bullshit and I too have had the familiar Libran.. oh but what if? We’re hard on ourselves (not for nothing is Saturn dignified in Libra) and nowhere more so than with relationships. This is EVOLUTION time. We get to drop this crap like its hot. Ms is right – this is YOUR power. Own it!

  18. That pic is a bit crouching Prada, hidden pucci. Ha!

    Glad when the world rights itself.
    I met a very un-Scorpio Scorpio today. I have never met a loud in your face me me me scorp. Ever. Especially as I was a random stranger waiting to pay for my perfume. She spoke loudly as if to an audience (there was only me and the lovely till lady) in autobiographical mode and physically invaded my space, but then suddenly stopped herself. As if she realised. And became all quiet and mysterious all of a sudden. Like a mental self slap to get a grip, cause she’s a Scorpio dammit.
    So was it like when you’re singing along to power ballads in the car and you suddenly realise the person in the car next to you is staring at your Bonnie Tyler impression? Are scorps secretly in need of an audience or did she just spend too much time in the Calvin Klein neurotoxin isle?

  19. This is me, poor gemini, seething at at the new and innovative ways my ex has found to be an asshole this retrograde, after being well behaved the last 4 months feeling deserted by my friends and trying to juice and gym it out while all I want to do s drink a bottle of wine and chase everyone who has wronged me in the past week with the bottle. No angry texts, no passive aggressive emails (written but not sent) just silence even though everyone us wrong and I am right (for reals) waiting for this to feel good instead if like swallowing glass. Serenity now!

    • the funny thing about that kind of bullshit is, you get hot and fit by all your hard work and reputations do follow. He might have a band of followers (my ex did, I had to leave the city it was so toxic) but you escaped. You are cooler than that and when you’ve kicked the pain out of your heart and realise you are alright again and all these shit people are just voices in your head you disconnected with, you get better, and he just keeps on repeating the same shit. Leave them to their graves, keep kicking ass at the gym, hotter better people will follow. Pats.

      • My ex still stalks me on fb and uses friends to deliver threats. It’s a HYdra, I block one account he opns 3 more. It’s never ending and goes in waves ongoing problem for over 18 years now. He never crosses the line so the police will arrest him.
        You will survive.

        • agh scorp.. my god. i wish there was some kind of a …. Neutralisation Squad for these people. Just Cause and all that. X

          I just had an Idea. Get screenshots of everything he and his cohorts sends to you. save everything. then one day, PUBLISH IT as a record of the shit that goes down in the private lives of some. hopefully also ruining whatever he has going on. oh god i would find that so immensely satisfying.

          • I have jupiter-lilith in toro, exact trine my sun-mercury in the 9th. Even te idea of exposing crap like this makes me leap around with glee and vindicated suffrage [or whatever it’s called when assholes who harass women get their just desserts]

              • pi, did we meet in the stairwell of a concrete bunker a few months ago with me muttering about sensory deprivation and you alerting me to the fact I was in the wrong building?

                • hahahahahah!! I think I know where you mean [hence laugh] but I’m not sure… I have given tentative directions to the odd person but details escape me.? i might have been a bit distracted so not recall.. xx
                  it’s like the rest of that place, you need to know the right words to speak in the right order to the right gatekeeper and slowly the mysteries of the site shall be revealed…. lol.

                  • either my brain is creating a memory or a lone neuron is flickering into life.. casting around and what you mentioned does ring a bell.. any particular reason you thought of that exchange AF?

                  • when it happened I wondered if it was you – the woman seemed piscean. Then you mentioned your muse the other day and sometimes my garb has a pirate vibe so I knew if it was you you might remember the meeting 😀

    • Wow fellow Gem – if you are ignoring this nightmare you are stronger than me!! Money crap (every day turns up a fresh debt), my Great Escape Plan dashed on the rocks of reality (the one I’ve been cooking up for oh, the last four years) & yesterday, a book I’d been waiting for from a friend/ potential romantic interest stolen from me by someone in my building. This fuqing Merc Retro seems calculated to drag us Gems down into the dumps. Let’s break into that wine together! xxx

  20. This has extra significance for me because this looks like a stairwell at my university, and I deliberately piked on a party at uni tonight because I am honestly wiped – and have been exhausted since 8:45am, when I found one of my chickens dead!!

    This pic would have been me right about now I reckon, if I had insisted on keeping this engagement (which started at 4:30pm, i.e., ‘after work’ in the academic world).

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