Do Venus in Capricorn People Crave Heaps Older Lovers?

Daphne Groenvald angel

Hi Mystic,

I have Venus in Capricorn, as do a lot of the friends I went to school with. An unusually high proportion of us have ended up with much older men. My husband is 12 years older, and 2 other women I know with Venus in Cap have ended up with men approximately 30 years older (after being the catalyst for the breakup of each man’s marriage.) Is this attraction to older men a common experience for all women with Venus in Capricorn? Are we all doomed to be attracted to the security of middle-age over the danger of wild youth?

Love your work,

Saturn-ruled Aquarius

Hi Saturn-ruled Aquarius,

THANK YOU!  Re the compliment i mean. Hmm, you should have been around for the Chrono-Sex post.  That was more about Venus-Saturn aspects pre-disposing peeps to age gap relationships. But hey why NOT Venus in Capricorn.  Note that Venus will be in Capricorn from Nov to March. We’d better get cracking. More on that little bit of synchro-biz closer to the time. But okay WHO has Venus in Capricorn and/or heaps older lovers? What about men with Venus in Cap? 

Twelve years older ain’t nothing much – 30 is a whole Saturn cycle older!

F.Y.I. The director Sam Taylor Johnson (yes of 50 Shades of Gray) has a husband (+ he is the father of her children) who is 23 years younger than her – she has Venus-Saturn in Aries, he has Venus trine Saturn in Capricorn. 

Miley Cyrus has Venus in Capricorn – how creepy would it be if she married Terry Richardson? Elvis Presley – was not Priscilla technically a child bride when he married her?

Maybe if you have Venus in Capricorn, you have an older lover/husband till your 2nd Saturn Return and then suddenly wham; you switch to down-age-dating?


Image: Peter Lindbergh Numero Magazine





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115 thoughts on “Do Venus in Capricorn People Crave Heaps Older Lovers?

  1. I have a Venus in Capricorn, in the 8th house. I am definitely attracted to older women!!! I been with girls my age, younger, and a few yrs older…but those experiences were unpleasant for me. Of course, I am aware that some older women are worse than the younger ones, but personally, I prefer and older more mature woman.

  2. Few feedback points:

    – a friend of mine has Saturn in 7th and her long term boyfriend were always much older, papa figures

    – my husband has Venus in Cap and he is 10 years older than myself

    – a friend of mine has Venus in cap in 7th and Capricorn in 7th – he always dated older women

    – I have Juno conjunct Saturn and had relationship with a man 14 years my senior and married a man 10 years my senior

    – a male, 14 years my junior flirted with me for a while and he has Venus in Cap as well

    …… I have, besides Juno conjunct Saturn also Venus in Virgo and one of big factors in decision making for me in partner choosing is security, stability and maturity.

  3. Not the same but… Venus in scorp conj saturn and mars and whole bunch of other stuff in cap…

    I have ALWAYS “entertained” relationships with much older men – they are attracted to me, usually. I always look back on these “almost” scenarios as having dodged a bullet. I have only been in relationships with people very near my own age, but mature beyond their years and generally successful (some very much so).

    Funny, these older men have not had it together AT ALL – I think they were looking to me for stability.

  4. ‘2 other women I know with Venus in Cap have ended up with men approximately 30 years older (after being the catalyst for the breakup of each man’s marriage.)’

    I have been picking up from a generation of women that affairs with married men may now be considered as natural as breathing, assumed to the extent that no justification is even offered . . . other than the stars were in a certain alignment. The main concern seems to be for the ‘other woman’ to not harm herself as ‘part of a threesome’ ?

  5. My Venus is in Kataka, & I’m Kataka rising, so Capricorn is my 7th. My first two LTRs were with men who were a decade older- both insecure, & the second control freaky to the point of emotional abuse. Post age 34, though, it has been cougar all the way. Every lover in my ‘wild post breakup’ phase was 4 -10 years younger. Stealth Leo ( my beloved on nearly 9 years) is 4 years younger, and were’re really well matched in terms of general energy & stamina.

  6. I have Venus in Cap yet tend to go for either much younger chaps or pirates with glinty eyes and promises of adventures abroad.

    But then again it could be something to do with my Mars in Aquarius…


  7. Let’s see, my first long term girlfriend was 20 years older than me, and I have Venus in Aries. Now I have a 33 year old woman chasing after me (Virgo of course) so that’s a 22 year difference. I have not yet determined anything but her Sun sign.

  8. Venus/South Node in Cap here, with a tight square to Pluto/Ceres and a looser square to Jupiter in one direction and Saturn in the other.

    I matured into a period of older lovers when I hit my Saturn return -one 15 years older, one 20 years older, and now my husband, 14 years older. I call that second one the Bullet Train to Daddy Issues Station – dad was 30 years older than my mom and was her high school teacher (she was an aqua venus/chiron sextile saggo saturn, he an aires venus with an exact trine to saggo saturn opp mars).

  9. My 15 year old son has venus in Capicorn. He has had a few girlfriends, his own age, BUT his FRIENDS have always been older. He hangs out with guys 3 years older mostly.

    • This comment really clicked with me. I have Venus in Cap and I noticed that I’m either surrounded by older friends OR I’m the oldest in the group.

      • Agree, 5th venus capricorn trine 1st house virgo stellium. Its both a blessing and a nuisance as some people are really bothered by age…Mother’s group was quite surreal as I’m perimenopausal and some other mothers are barely 30 years…they would hardly have time to listen to tales of osteo-arthritis induced by breastfeeding…As an older mother (Ceres is also conjunct by sun) and my moon in in early degrees of cancer…Yet I found I was comforting these younger mothers who felt very pressured by ridiculous career and parenting responsibilites and had little support from their own families. My own mother of course is completely eccentric and unruly (ultimate uranian aquarian ascendant, ceres in aquarius too).

  10. Venus in Cappy’s opposite Cancer –
    with DC in Gem.
    Only ever dated younger men.
    (Except currently, 1 whole year older than me).

  11. This post caught my attention because my honey is a Cappy.. Venus in Aqua. I think it’s a Cappy thing in general. I’m 11 yrs older than him but, he’s an old soul, must be that Saturn as a ruler thing 😉 he’s much more evolved than most fellows my age. He is a twin and his brother usually dates older women too.. When I was first introduced I thought, absolutely not! No way, no how!! But, age is just a number, when it works it works I guess!! I’m a Gem, libra rising cancer moon. Venus in Taurus. He’s the kindest man I’ve ever known…funny how kindness matters when you hit your 40’s!! I used to always go for the bad boy, musicians etc etc.. He’s got just enough bad boy to keep me on my toes but a heart of gold! I say do what works ladies and gents!!! Xo

    • Yes to do what works!

      I commented on another post way back about that was abou strong Saturn placements can indicate being attracted to older partners, as my partner is 12 yrs younger, Leo sun, merc, Saturn in the 10th, Scorpio rising, lots of Gemini and Sagg.

      I have known him for 10 years, we have been living together these last 4, and it keeps getting better, now.

    • Awesome story! I have the exactly the same stars..(except I’m Leo rising instead of Libra)…and I tend to date the same guys (musician bad boys..when will it end? haha)…thanks for sharing you give me hope… 🙂

      • Oh Miss E, forgive my late reply!! I always forget the little button that says “email me follow up posts” ???? when does it end?? Hmmmmm, when you have your ass (and heart) handed to you by someone’s betrayal… That’s when you finally let the nice guy in (at least for me) ???? ps he was a Leo.. But, I LOVE me some Leo’s!! I bet you are full of wit, whim and that beautiful Leo pride? ???? I love it!! Cancer moon huh? It’s a rough, tender ride (but no one would ever know it huh) ???????? xoxo

  12. My current love interest has Venus in Cap….and I’m about 4 years older than him.

    He also has Mars in Taurus…and I have Venus in Taurus.

    I am incredibly, unexplainably drawn to this guy…and I get the feeling (hoping) he feels the same way. I just can’t get him out of my head…and here is the craziest part…we have never met in person!

    We have lots of mutual friends…which is how we first became aware of each other in the first place (Facebook-I joined 3 weeks ago and he found me)…it’s amazing to me that I’ve never seen him around before…like….was he under a rock? Haha.

    Right now he’s away because his dad is sick…but when he returns home (and when he feels ready)…we get to meet and hang out in person for the first time…in the meantime we’ve been messaging and texting here and there. Nothing too crazy as I don’t want to overwhelm him during a tough time.

    I’ve never gone on a date with someone (to my knowledge) that has Mars in my Venus…and now i’m thinking that his Venus in Cap can also work to my advantage, haha.

    No idea what to expect!
    Very excited and nervous about it!

    If anyone has any insight or advice on this let me know…

    Do I sound like a complete love-zombie???

    For the record he is an Aqua and I am a Gemini which I heard are very compatible in the first place…

    • Oh Miss E,

      My Aqua next door neighbor (NDNA…was a big drama…wrote all about it around here last summer)…

      But he has Mars in Toro and me Venus. Yipes, yes, when we see each other there is still an attraction even tho the drunken drama got a bit heated…lol

      Enjoy and may it be a peaceful encounter…Ours now is but on friendship basis only…. (I think 😯 )

      • ps, my Rising is Gemini and so yes, that is compatible with his Aqua and opposite his Sagg rising but course that gives him a big mouth and then me one, too…haha

        • Sweetpea…thanks for your input! I’ll let you know how it goes…daydreaming about it at this very moment….i’ll try (my very best) to be careful and not let anything get too drunk (I have a bad history of that…oh man..)

          ..Wish I could handle my feelings in a “normal” way haha…I get wayyyy too stuck in my own world…which always makes me doubt everything a little…but I always have hope that my personal fairytale will come true one day…

    • Re: mars conj venus synastry.

      I keep hearing that it is hot hot synastry. My experience is that I had 2 lovers with exact mars to my venus synastry. Nothing but problems sexually!! awful!! The relationship was passionate and the attraction was overwhelming…BUT…. It’s like one of you will like BDSM and the other will be totally into Karezza & tantra… or one of you is a morning person and the other is a night owl….. and everyone feels unhappy when they are forced to compromise. It eventually rips the relationship apart.

      I actually prefer the mars to TRINE or SEXTILE my venus. That worked out a LOT better. Seemed more easy going and more fun. less pressure. More sexually compatible in the long run sort of scenario, but less passionate than the conj.

      YMMV. My Venus is in Virgo which is a picky mofo to start with.

      • OMFG yes, my experience exactly! I was just thinking this the other day, the only guy I’ve come across whose Mars conj my Venus was into tantra and I’m too dark for that shit, I need my BDSM fix. I ended up not going there despite the sexual attraction.

        • yeah i dont know for 100% it is caused by the mars-venus conj but it does seem super suspicious seeing as the conj for both these guys was 2 deg or less. There is some shitty yin yang in play that cannot be bridged.Luckily in both cases the men must have sensed the incompatibility too and didn’t take it personally. thank goodness fir maturity.

          yeah one if the mars in virgo was all into this Taoist longevity crap where he never masturbated and he was into non-jaculatory sex. awful! The other one was only into sex while you were on your cycle, never at other times.

          • Oh, I completely forgot my other Mars in Cap conj my Venus guy is one of my best friends, HUGE sexual chemistry between us (he has to get off the phone sometimes because the way I talk gets him um, excited…). Everyone thinks/assumes we are a couple and if we deny it they think we’re having some secret affair. We’d be a great match except for one problem – he’s gay!

            I had a Venus conj Venus with a guy into alchemy who was into the non-ejaculatory sex thing. No dudes with a monthly womb ebola fetish though – thank fuq.

            • Oh I’ve had that too. Totally forgot about my gay buds. Yes it does strengthen friendships like crazy.

              I’ve yet to have a Venus conj Venus yet since most guys I’m with are Aqua and venus can only be up to 2 signs before or after your sun.
              But this is good information to know!

              I kinda get the non-ejac thing for guys. It’s them reclaiming their sexual power. I’ve been told by them the reason why women are so powerful now is because we give men BJs basically and rob them of all their qi and vitality. (I’m serious….this is not a joke…they really believe this.) So this whole non-ejac thing is revenge on women by misogynist a-holes.

  13. No, for me, Venus in Cap, as well as Sun & Mercury. My beaus have all been within a few years of me, usually just 1-2 years.

    It’s a confidence/charisma thing for me, rather than an age thing. I wonder if that’s the case for other Venus-in-Caps… Easier to find in older partners? Beats me.

    • Agreed on the confidence/charisma thing over age. I’m a strong woman on my own (triple Cap and triple Scorp), I need someone who can equal or better me in some ways in order to feel any attraction beyond the physical. Apparently a lot of guys are intimidated by me so they pussyfoot around playing stupid games to see if I like them instead of making a move – that sort of carry on is SO not fuqing attractive to me.

  14. Men with Venus in Capricorn like a woman who has her shit together, and are on the wagon of unapologetic self- actualization. Sometimes that has to do with age sometimes not. In my opinion, Venus in Capricorn men are all for The Matriarchy! Really. And I have met quite a few, intimately. They seem to love the osmosis of breathing the same air as their “queen” and they WILL see her as some sort of royal figure, even being turned on by the whiff of subservience inherent in that arrangement .

    • Yes, so true of my Cap exs! I was their Queen, they loved the whole matriarch thing– but matriarch meaned mother, too! Definitely these old Caps of mine were rather low, not haute, as part of the attraction to shit-together me was that they expected I’d get their shit together too. Very qi vampirish, as well as misogynist. I have a child & will mother him unconditionally until the day I die; I expect a grown man to come to the table as an equal partner ready for an adult relationship. Haha

  15. Another Venus in Capricorn (29 degrees) here but pre-Saturn Return. I’ve always dated my age/slightly younger but since June/July, have been in Love Zombie mode with a chap that’s 8 years older. Not a huge age difference but he is more ‘worldly’ than I am and is technically my senior (we both work in the same industry). The attraction is mutual but he’s in a relationship, hence the LZ of it all. I don’t know what Venus heading into Capricorn will bring me (I’m thinking of booking a consult actually..) but I do know that I have a new found appreciation for being with someone that takes care of you and isn’t intimidated by your professional success; rather they nurture it and support it.

    Neither one had Venus in Capricorn however my parents had a 30 year age gap. My mum had Saturn in Capricorn trine Venus in Taurus, Moon and Pluto in Virgo (in fact her Saturn was pretty influential in her birth chart). And my dad had Venus in Aries trine Saturn and Neptune. I think my mum always dated her own age until she met my dad and I think they both met during their respective Saturn returns

  16. This is something I think about a lot, because for the past few years (I am now 50), I have had a string of much younger suitors, and the ones who are serious have Venus in Cap or close Saturn aspects to personal planets in their chart. So I know the pattern to look for, and if they don’t have that, I know they’re just thinking that “old” somehow means “desperate,” and that I will be “easy.” (By the way, like other commenter earlier, I am not a cougar. I do not seek these guys out. They seek me out.).

    The Venus in Cap guys though do truly seem genuine in their attraction to older women, and appear to like commitment, even when the rest of their chart screams “freedom.” Not just 1, but 2 Sun / Mars in Sag guys I know have stuck around consistently, and all I can figure is that they both have Venus in Cap.

    Recently though I feel like I am wasting my time with the younger ones, and have actively tried courting the older ones. The problem is that anyone more than a few years older is in the Uranus in Leo generation, and they universally piss me off with their regal condescension. It’s not that I wouldn’t be okay in principle with someone older, it’s just that astro-generational obstacle.

  17. I’ve always dated guys about 4-6 years older than me, even as a young teen and it caused problems (a 15 year old with a 21 year old is a bigger deal than a 21 year old with a 27 year old). I think its because around that age their Pluto is on my AC. Soul mate Sag is Venus in Cap. He’d have sex with anyone but always partner with someone who made sense socially.

  18. Mystic I am a double Cap with moon in Taurus and Venus in Aquarius . I have dated older women my entire life . Untill now I am interested in younger women. Strong older women have all ways been a turn on . Still are . When I was 21 I lived with a 31 year old woman and raised her 2 girls as my own . They are my family . Then I chilled next couple of relationships were closer in age . Married a women 8 years older bad decision lasted 2 years . The relationship with the younger women just did not work out . You mentioned in a reading that I have been growing up in my realtionships . That things are in alignment for something big the real deal . My last Two relationships both were older . One was 8 years older the other 5 years older . I am much more open to younger women now . I am a young 56 . I do look for chemistry and strong attraction . What is to young ? Or to old ?
    Or does it matter ?

    • Could it be that you’re pulled toward women in their 30s-40s/that stage of life? They used to be older than you, & now they’re younger than you, kind of thing?

  19. This is interesting as I’ve got Venus in Cap and I’m NEVER attracted to older men… It’s not intentional, it just never happens. If anything I seem to have had younger (or same age) in my life but have often wondered if this is more to do with having Mars in Sag?

  20. Mystic, it’s so funny because I have been wondering about this recently. As a Gem with Leo rising you warned me to be on high Love Zombie alert (which I scoffed at) & then I developed an intense crush on someone 24 years older than me. Yes, 24.

    I am Venus in Taurus, conjunct the midheaven & opposite Scorpio. He is a Cap with Scorp Venus. There has been plenty of LZ astro obsessing but fortunately (ha) he’s halfway across the world. I’ve never had feelings for someone so much older than me before, but I did have a 12 year age gap relationship that didn’t go very well (with a Scorp) when I was 22. I have a lovely boyfriend who I am trying to focus on, but HELP. We have sun conjunct neptune & trine venus, it’s like a soul longing, it’s WEIRD. Advice more than welcome. xx

  21. The closest I’ve ever been to a partner my age was someone 3 years older; otherwise, they have all been 10+ years older than me. Venus in Scorp, nothing in Cap.

    • Yo Scorp
      Guess what?
      I’m over HF


      I cut the chord with him.
      Told him if he ever contacts me again I’m going to call him up and tell him to fuck off loud enough that his wife can hear.

      I’m just over it.


      So there’s this dude, a Leo sun (I have Venus in Leo in the 8th)
      He has Moon in Cap. (In the 8th)
      As a Virgo I ADORE Caps and Torros
      Apart from Leo’s they are the only other signs I’ve ever been attracted to.
      It gets better..
      He has Venus in Virgo in the 4th
      I have Pieces kind of missing or needing to balance out my T square in the 4th and Neptune has just moved into my 4th house too so all feeling very complimentary and flowing.
      His mars is in Scorpio in the 5th
      I have my double Lilith in Scorp.
      He has Gemini rising
      Blah blah whatevs right. ?
      I mean we’ve never even met.
      We’ve corresponded.
      He emailed me a few months back offering his services as a Webdesigner and general Internet slave. He’s a sub :-)))
      Wanting no financial reward.

      I was like “no deal dude. I don’t trust. What’s in it for you?”
      I kind of ignored him for ages and then eventually said “ok send me some samples of your work and I’ll get back to you when I have time.”

      A two minute glance was all it took for me to realise this man is simply BRILLIANT at what he does.
      Most of its all big corporate stuff but he’s helped a few Mistresses sell their properties and as I say in just a few short minutes I could feel this genius type vibe. Meticulous attention to detail and the highest quality of work I’ve seen…like ever basically.


      So I take a risk and email him my ideal biz plan.
      The Big Dream

      The one every other web guy has told me is IMPOSSIBLE

      He replies within an hour with not just a MASSIVE OMG YES YES YES

      What about this idea?

      Did you ever think about ……?

      All various ways of scaling my income, transitioning out of personal one on one sessions and generating all my revenue online.

      He CONSTANTLY references his mother as being right about everything and Godlike in her divinity

      In stark contrast to HF who with his mars in Kataka was always blaming everything on his narcissist mother and idealising his “saintly and self sacrificing father”. was really open about wanting to be just like his dad and even sited it as one of his reasons for proposing to Mrs Brokeback-Vanilla Mountain. The other two reasons were that his parents got married on the anniversary of Hiroshima and he saw some general being intervened who was involved in the nuking saying that the word “decide” implies the killing of the other (ie me) reason no 2 was Fergie (the Scottish football coach) saying that the important thing in life is to make a decision and just stick to it.

      Ja. Britain’s top forensic psychiatrist takes love advice from war generals and moronic football

      Shades of Steven Hawkins?? Or whoever that really smart dude was who married the nurse that used to beat him up.
      Emo intelligence and IQ not necessarily linked is my point.

      So Barcelona guy, who I’ve never seen a picture of was REALLY helpful during the whole stalker case thing.
      He scoured the Internet for traces of me and politely asked first but basically sorted everything out for me before submitting all info into a neat file so I could hand it to Interpol, the met or just keep for my records.

      No flirting, just wit and grit and speed.

      A few days ago I said, ” you know I kind of feel we should talk face to face. I know you find the idea of being paid by the hour insulting (just done his chart so DUH? Leo obvs)
      But at some point you’re going to have to accept a piece of the pie. I don’t trust altruists. You HAVE to either be lying or have an anterior motive.

      He goes ok, flights are cheap, I’ve got a few days off in early Nov. how about I book your hotel, consider it a gift from a friend, so you can abstract from London and all the stress you’ve been under and we can have lunch and I’ll show you around Barcelona. Let me know what type of hotel you’d like (ie architectural aesthetic ) and some days that work for YOU and we can meet and discuss.

      I immediately asked for birth deets…
      He rang his mom and got back to me within ten minutes.
      He’s 4 years older than me.


      Suddenly I’m listening to Freddy Mercury and some opera diva singing about a particular place AND MY NETWORK CHIRO EVEN GAVE ME A NC TO SEE WHILE IM THERE (and a wry smile, the first one yet- I said I was going alone and just for a few days so it really wasn’t necessary but he pressed the address of this practitioner into my hand and grinned “have fun”
      Weird huh?
      Like in THE COOLEST WAY EVER 😀

      • Mystic can we like assume I’m over HF ?
        Is that even possible?

        I mean, listen, Spanish Leo with Gemini rising, moon in Cap, mars in Scorpio and Venus in Virgo could be like hideously ugly and out of shape but how likely do we think that is?

        I’m thinkin a tall dark and handsome stranger with rad cheekbones and the biz acumen I so clearly lack might be waiting for me during JUPITER’s TRANSIT THROUGH MY HOUSE OF LUUUURVE.
        P.S. it’s Cattiva in case you hadn’t picked that up by now. And no I don’t give a fuq about clients cyberstalking me on this site. Stalk away
        My life is clearly compelling so fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the ride….

      • omg have fun in barcelona. my favorite city. miss it so much, no matter what happens w/ le men have an amazing time!

        • Hey Rache
          That’s Hilarious because San Francisco is the only place I could imagine living apart from LND. Then again I’ve never been to……..

          • Spanish Leo with Cap moon sent me that link with the word “teaser” in the subject line. It’s as close as we’ve come to flirting. But I can’t shake this FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELING

            Oracle just said me & Barcelona guy were Alchemist and apprentice in a past life 🙂

            • Oh fuq
              I just remembered I have this Venus- Neptune trine and also with that 8th house Venus placement and all that Lilith and The Other moon energy shoved up in the 12th I KIND OF ONLY EVER FALL FOR TOTALLY UNAVAILABLE MEN.

              ergo even if he is vava vooma magnifico etc lets be realistic here THE DUDE IS PROBABLY MARRIED WITH CHILDREN ugh

              sobs into inbox
              I miss HF
              fuq him, he’s married and I’m done there.

      • Yo, Blue! This dude sounds rad on a few different levels & I’m stoked for you 🙂

        A good relationship, biz or personal, is enriching for both parties. It’s reciprocal & authentic. One feels valued in it. Not 100% perfect, but secure. More building up, no ripping apart.

        This guy sounds like he values you & your vision, Blue, & we likey that! He’s come to the table with his sleeves rolled up & ready to lend his expertise to a powerful woman like yourself. I wouldn’t let him get away with not accepting payment from you: keep it level. Tell him you find it offensive that he won’t take your money & you refuse to work under such conditions, if you have to. Blue means biznezz!

        Now go get bizzy, babe 😉 xx

        • I’ve come to the acceptance that I may never meet “The One” but how cool that, as you say, this guy has helped out, gets my vision and could be a great biz partner since he has skills that I lack. He’s not giving me a “potential lover vibe really, much more of a cool person and biz partner/ caring friend type of vibe. He is not averse to taking money from me, he just want to see that money coming my way FIRST.
          ie he is not one of these douche type guys who approach women like me and “pitch” their skills, making it seem more complicated than it actually is. That’s why I’ve tried to do all my own web stuff myself and focused solely on content and authenticity rather than SEO and such like. He happes to be “into the scee” and has a few Mistress friends who he has clearly done some really good web stuff for. He likes my creative ideas and admires my drive and independence and really gets how I’m “on the Edge” in terms of walking my own path and risking by doing what feels meaningful to me rather than what “the market wants” so I think that it’s more of a meeting of the minds really. Guess I got as bit carried away trying to rush into a new “romance” as a kind of immature revenge reaction to HF’s rejection of me and I was trying to escape from that by rushing headlong into a Neptunian, Operatic and Dramatic Big Romance.
          Silly in retrospect but understandable given my Venus, Neptune trine and recent heartbreak – I know that Jupiter is transiting my house of love for another six months or so and I guess I’d so hoped it would happen with HF that when it didn’t, I got a bit tick tock (more Bridget Jones than miss Meow:) I’m going to see a new city and talk to y new web guy. That’s it. Still need to pace myself and allow myself to get over HF. The pain will recede in time. Rushing into the next potential relationship as if my life depended on having a male counterpart really isn’t smart. Got carried away yesterday. Apologised for saying I’d call HFand blow up his marriage if he ever contacted me again since obvs I am not an unhinged psychopath but asking him nicely to not email me again, like EVER because he does care and that is the only way he can actually prove it to me. As a shrink, he knows that treating me like “the other woman” is really unloving and hurtful. Asking me to wait for a year was a big thing to ask,not following through on his promises to me was hurtful, esp given that I already have trust issues. Getting married on my birthday was like Hiroshima in my heart. His analogy, not mine, but apt. So now if he claims to care for me even a little bit he needs to stay away from me. It’s the only way he can actually show that he cares for me. He is all out of options there. The cards have been played. He is a grown man, he’s made his choice and fuqing with my head after all of that is spectacularly uncool. However badly he may miss me or claim to love me or even care for me – the only proof of that is to let me get on with my life now.
          I think that was fair. He originally got back in touch claiming he wanted to end things in a ” less violent way” yet within days we were back on the sex smack so to speak – totes compulsive and proof that we simply cannot be in touch and stay sane and have relationships with others. Certainly from my side I know this much is true, So, if you love me, prove it by walking away. Reminds me of the poem by Cecil Day Lewis. “Those small but scorching ordeals which fire one’s irresolute clay. How love is proved in the letting go and selfhood begins with the walking away. ”
          Time for some rituals for me.
          Rituals to let him go.

  22. Just to help ya’ll out with your data collection, I just married a man with Venus in Cap., seven weeks ago; and he is 15 1/2 years my junior. I’m told I’m pretty, but I am no Demi Moore ! I never looked for this or saw it coming, but we also have an exact Moon/Venus conjunct in Cancer, in synastry — he somehow finds me irresistible. Lucky me !

  23. Venus – Saturn conj in Taurus, Moon in Cap. I was attracted to older men when I was young, I dated them, then older men started to chase me, dated them again — old meaning — age difference of 25 years.

    In a consult, Mystic told me older men showing up on my doorstep is a sign for owning my own power, which made me think hard on the pattern.

    By then Saturn was transiting my Descendant and Mystic saved me: episodes were about subconsciously seeking approval and validity. Once I claimed my own approval, the flow of suitors stopped.

    Considering the pool of the fellows at my own age group is mostly lame, I gave up. Nothing to see in this lifetime, best to move on.

    I now nurse long-distance crushes, but careful about choosing people who are inspirational. That is what works for my Venus-Saturn combo.

    • That’s a shame Quadrupled… I feel like I could never give up on love/ the possibility of romance, although it might be much more sensible to 🙂

      Brilliant readings from Mystic as well.

      • I haven’t exactly given up but am not going out of my way seeking it either. There are many, many ways to spend our days alone and still be happy. If it happens, nice, if it doesn’t, life is still nice 🙂

    • Far out: this has been my experience, too! Once I really came into my own power, the steady stream dried up. it was like they knew it somewhere: only equals need apply, don’t waste my time. It wasn’t any decree I made, just life choices, & then I started to walk more upright, talk more, laugh loudly… I am a tall order, no doubt about it: wicked smart, hilarious, hot, kind to creatures, will do shit on my own if I have to because I will do whatever the fuq I feel I need to do. Humble. LOL. And you too, Quadrupled! Rock out. Serious inquiries only. x

    • same here!

      I’m a reluctant cougar. Meaning, it’s the only thing left due to the older guys starting to be so old they are physically broken and can’t have sex on terms that are pleasing to me anymore. I’m so tired of feeling guilty because someone gets a side stitch, sprains an ankle, or bruises horribly during sex. They can’t hike up a mountain and make out because they are so winded. They can’t go sky diving because of their pacemaker. >:( The younger ones are the only ones that can keep up it seems. The things is, I’m totally open to the older ones that CAN keep up with me, however those older guys are only interested in the 20 somethings. So you get your choice of “old broken ass guy” or “young naive guy trying to assert his dominance”. I guess I don’t understand why the universe punishes the women who DO manage to stay young mentally and physically with this crap. I feel like I did everything right and I still have lost the game.

      • EEL I hear you. What if the last person I had sex with was the last? I don’t want to go out like that. Oh hells NO.
        Even my Mother is planning to set me up on Christmas Day. The person I’d like to share my life with, is not wanting to do that. Plan B is just so beige and lay down an die territory. Plan A or Z is the way I prefer to do things (because Plan Z is basically Plan A in a fuqed up order). I might be traveling the boards of a carpe diem love rhetoric, but this will be how love ripens.

        You want someone that knows intimacy is not just sexual expression. I don’t look at age as a determining factor in a relationship. Because your with that person not just their age.

  24. Hmmmmm…. My husband is 15years older ,had only one much older lover in my late teens. Sun libra opp. Saturn , venus rising conjunct neptune in scorp,part of yod with saturn the ‘tail’

  25. I haven’t noticed a trend, actually my Venus in Cap friends all seem to be with people their own age. I have had a penchant for older men in the past, I have Venus and Saturn in the 7th and Venus conjunct Saturn, seem to have ended up with a Capricorn man which figures.

  26. I’ve found younger are more freely able to express to others and you their love. Older and colder it does take them longer to be vulnerable in love.
    Venus in Taurus and love don’t live here anymore.

  27. Short answer – nope
    Long answer – nope unless by older you mean wiser and more worldly in which case it has nothing to do with physical age but an appearance of age… and would still require some other sort of magical chemistry mix… or that could be the Saggi talking.

    Footnote – I think when really young eg teens, early 20’s etc it’s a natural place for a lot of women and considered a bit of a norm so have excluded this in my short and long(well thought out and reflected upon) responses lol 😉

  28. Venus in Cap.. I’m terribly attracted to and in a relationship with 20years older mr Virgo with Venus in Virgo..
    This is true for me, too.

  29. Venus at 6 degrees Capricorn, here. My Venus is also square Saturn at 8 Aries….bleh! Aqua Sun, 11 degrees.

    Yes, when I was younger, I seemed to always have older boyfriends.
    When I was 22, had boyfriend 7 years older.
    When I was 25, boyfriend was 18 years older than me (pretty much the same age as my mom).
    Then had a boyfriend 11 years older when I was 29.

    Now that I’m 45 years old, I’ve seemed to have had some younger boyfriends and lovers. The last ‘real’ boyfriend was 5 years younger, when I was 41 and he was 36. Not that much of a difference in age, but a big difference in my own dating pattern compared to when I was under 30..

    I’ve read that Venus in Cap can give older partners when the native is young, and younger partners as the native gets older.

    I just never seem to have a boyfriend my own age… even now I seem to draw the older guys, too. I’m just not interested in dating someone who is like 65 years old….sorry to say that.

    Where I’m at, actually, is that I don’t want any boyfriend or husband. Since I can’t seem to attract or be attracted to my peers, none of it seems tenable……younger guys, it’s just impractical after awhile, and I’m just not attracted to the over 60 set……

  30. My sister has Venus opposite Saturn, and she married someone twenty-three years older. I know another woman with Venus in Capricorn, who married someone almost twenty years older than she is.

  31. “Maybe if you have Venus in Capricorn, you have an older lover/husband till your 2nd Saturn Return and then suddenly wham; you switch to down-age-dating?”

    Ugh, hate to say this(reasons below) but that line just totally nailed it for me.
    You are so on it Mystic, its insane.
    My brain is literally screaming wtfhowdidsheknow’s right now, lol.

    During my First Saturn Return, broke up with my much younger guy I had been with for many years. I felt like I just couldnt commit fully(marriage+family) to him because of the age difference – I wanted to be able to feel secure in a relationship and build a life with him (a la Saturn Return), and though my Venus in Cap adored his double Virgo Venus+Mars, I didnt feel I could with him – though I loved him very much. So it ended. I think I would be ok with a more casual thing later in life when Ive enjoyed the experience of a full-on epic commitment already, but I havent yet… so right now Im looking for someone that can open that possibility to me. Its been a big thing for me since that breakup, to look for someone mature, older, etc.

    Always been attracted to older men that know what they are doing. Like Rache above – its the brains, power and confidence – that totally opens up the root chakra for me. First man I fell in love with was 6/7 years older than me. Though that doesnt seem like much, when you are 22/23, thats a big difference in maturity/thinking/living/etc, also as he was already a divorcee when we met! Also he was technically above me in position/authority as I met him through a gig I did. He also had Mars in Cap, and was a huge catalyst for my own sexual awakening. So in many ways there was a big maturity difference.

    But I guess the reason why I feel bad for saying that statement fits me in the first place is that the older men I happen to be attracted to are already taken. Leaning on the side of not wanting to be “the catalyst for the breakup of (another) man’s marriage” god forbid, but I have to admit that there are several married men right now that definitely do more than notice me. One of them seems to feel mighty uncomfortable in his loins when I walk by – like literally, he just starts to squirm a bit like he has to pee or release or something lol – he now just (tries to) ignore/avoid me. I see him get angry at himself randomly too. I dont blame him, Im glad he is trying to correct the situation for himself if I cause that much conflict, its not my intention at all. Im not doing anything to solicit that response btw, no showy clothing, no over-friendliness, no mingling, etc. – we dont really know each other! I just try to avoid him now too, I dont want to create discord. Some other dude on my radar right now is about 8 years younger than me. So in terms of attraction its like either they are much older and taken, or I am the much older one if I want a single dude(that I find attractive+intelligent+interesting). I just dont want to go the younger route because I did it before and guys need more time to mature into a fine wine. 8 years younger at my age is still really young… I would have to be 50 before these young guys develop into anything I’d want to commit to. Gee. No wonder Im still single. Everybody asks me why I am single btw – women and men alike – at this point maybe they think Im a closet lesbian. If only they really knew why… 😛 Im stuck between a rock and a hard place. And its not the kind of hard place I like to be stuck between. Yes, I went there.

    Btw Mystic, I dont know why but you are just posting my astro on all these articles lately, what is up with that? 😛 Its like my name is being called over and over. You make me feel so…. relevant. Or is that I am just relevant to the now? Lol. Thank you – Im learning heaps. xo

  32. The centaur in my life has been with me for 7yrs…he has Venus & Mars in Cap. Our composite chart is lots of Libra, so we’re hot/cold & both have Aqua moons so can be total aliens to each other too. Talk about a slow burn…Venus moving into Sag this last few weeks has coincided with him declaring not that he loves me but that he is actually ‘in love with me’ & I actually feel that it is a shift…talk about finally letting the guards down! We’re only a few years apart in age but we entered into relationship territory both as ‘more mature’ individs.

    • 7 years to realize you’re in love? Talk about taking it slow! I don’t know if it’s the scorpio or the sagg in me but I’m thinking marriage within 5 hours. haha

    • I get it, being Saggi with those two in Cap as well as my moon but a bit of a Uranian type. It can be hot/cold, slow and non-committal whilst being committed if that makes any sense. The decision to go all the way in takes some time naturally with a Saggi but I think those planets in Cap add to that vibe.

  33. I have Saturn in my 7th house. Most of my guy friends are 10 years younger and most of my girl friends are 10 years older than me. I ended up married to someone only 2 years younger and it is great.

  34. Looking at my chart and my BF’s – trying to figure it out but can’t find any of that. We have a 17y difference and I’m the older one. We are both moon in Cap.

  35. well when i was very young – teenage – i had a much older “boyfriend” – who had everything in capricorn. More or less. He used to tell me to stop talking because my mouth was “more beautiful” when it was still. He really liked the “teacher” role, taught me about “fine wines” and (apparently) sex but most of it was pretentious shit and i think mostly what he wanted was a young dollybird to cart around. He also used to tell me he felt sorry for men his age with their “old wives”. Criticized my musical taste and said that a boy my age would not know what to do with me. I wised up and found one my age who not only knew “what to do’ -he let me talk!

  36. I dated a venus cap guy. Really big deal relationship for me tho we were all over eachother others north nodes felt fates but fuq what a control freak I was 22 he was 30 I was feeling the Saturn rays because Saturn was in Libra when we were together (effecting my aries sun) and he was having his sat return
    Cap in venus with my aqua venus
    Lots learnt, but horrible addictive relationship.

  37. I have Venus in Cap square Saturnjupiter conj in Libra. And for myself age is not s factor. Ive dated 15 years older, ive dated my peers, ive dated 15 yrars younger. But nothing to extreme on either end. So its hard to say if dating older men/women/humans in general is an exclusively Venus in Cap trait. 🙂

  38. Yes. Venus in Cap co-junct MC, trine Uranus/Pluto in Virgo and Sextile Mars in Aries. Two enduring loves, 15 and 17 years older than me.

    I’d be quite ok about switching to down dating when I hit my second Sat ret 🙂

  39. I’m an aqua with Venus in Capricorn and attracted to older guys. My last seriously relationship was with a guy 13 years older…he definitely took care of me and took the lead but yes, the control freak vibe is not so adventurous or fun. I really loved him though…he felt weird about the age thing initially because I was only 23 when we got together but it felt natural I me.

    The guy I’m dating now is a professor, 18 years older than me. We’re very casual though…respect each other’s space and it’s mostly a brainsex relationship vs a passionate one. I am attracted to power and Saturn-y things and braaaaaains and confidence…which younger dudes seem to lack. I’m also toro rising/moon so the chill vibe x luxury appeals to me lol

    • Hot
      I used to be exactly like that until I hit 40
      Now I’m a total Cougar and I need brains and youth.
      Yep, I’m shallow.

    • Also an Aqua with Venus in Cap, and my hubby is 10 years older. I need braaaaaaaaains, too. 🙂 When I was younger I dated guys my own age, but I either felt like they were too young or not serious enough. I was a serious girl when it came to love, not given to playing around or whatever. Also have Saturn trine sun. I love being married to a man older than me. I’ve gotten weird looks from time to time, but I don’t care. He’s stable and a Pisces, so gives me space to be me. 🙂

  40. Venus in Cap trine Saturn…

    I had a very short phase of being attracted to older men when I was young but after going out with a guy 13 years older than me, I went off them pretty quickly. Too much baggage, control freakery and not enough bedroom stamina for my requirements. I don’t want to be the trophy of some crusty old man, I can’t imagine going there again, ugh, shudder, perish the fuqing thought.

    Since my early 30’s I’ve attracted much younger guys to me but not in a cougar sort of way – they hit on me. I wouldn’t say I’m specifically attracted to any particular age group, my attraction is more of a case by case thing and I’m not attracted to a hell of a lot of people. So far I’ve had the deepest and longest connections with the younger ones.

    • Did you guys have Jupiter conjunct Jupiter too? (13 year age difference).

      My mercury was also on his sun and he was sun-Jupiter (Pisces). And I was having a crazy Pluto-Venus transit.

      • No our Jupiter’s weren’t conjunct (that’s more likely with a 12 year age gap), I didn’t go out with him long enough to bother with analysing the synastry in depth, I couldn’t get rid of him fast enough!

    • Yes, yes, yes! Agree, Saturnalien.

      Venus in Cap here – about three years ago I had a bit of a phase where I was really stuck on the idea of being with an older man, but after experiencing a couple I noticed a disturbing trend where they were more immature and stunted than men a bit younger (I was about 26 at the time).

      My partner is six years older than me, which at this stage of my life is a good age difference for me. My ex was only a few months older than me, which just didn’t match up… and as I said, I found the same kinds of emotional maturity issues in older men.

      FYI, I’m on the tip of the iceberg that is my first Saturn return, so I can’t comment on Mystic’s hypothesis in the last para.

      For me Venus in Cap manifests as wanting security and partnership, and to be working towards something with someone.

      • I so hear you on finding the older guys more stunted than the younger ones. Age and maturity clearly don’t always go hand in hand…

        • I also learned that one to be true some time ago. Now I’ve passed 30 I”M the older lover and it makes me wonder though if it’s just my age meets lifestyle and look or if everyone else is actually taken or something else

    • i have venus in cap and am not attracted to older men either. it’s like a biological thing – just like i’m not attracted to young guys, i am also not attracted to older guys. not even ‘hot’ ones!

      my friend is 35 and dating a 48 year old and i don’t get it at all… she showed me a photo of him and the only nice thing i could think to say was ‘i like his cool shirt!’ i don’t want to stereotype but i think she might have some daddy issues. she seems happy and sounds like he is a nice enough guy so try and be supportive. whatever floats her boat!

    • I can relate to this.

      I dated a guy 12 years older than me for about a year, when I was in my early 20’s. It was not worth the trouble. Baggage, control issues (he’d tell my I was brilliant one moment and then put me down for working retail the next), emotional intimacy problems. Not saying this is true for all older single men, but there was a reason *this* guy was still single in his mid-30’s.

      But then again, my Venus is in Sagittarius, so… I naturally need something more breezy. Too bad my Mars is in Scorp… older dude was uber-low Scorp (hence when I put up with his antics as long as I did).

    • Totally get this. Venus in Cap and I dated older guys consistently until i was 30 and then started having younger guys (7 years or so) hit on me – am currently on a path to get hitched to one of them. Never dated anyone close to my own age. For me Venus in Cap is about having a sense of long term goals and knowing that the other person can carry their own weight.

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Mystic Medusa