Astro Gaga Competion: Astrologically Caption Or Explain This Image To Win!

Filed in Astro Gaga

surreal fashion spread 2013

Here we go again with the Astro Gaga Competition guys! 

Astrologically (or even just be surreal about it) explain/caption this image to win one of these fabulous prizes. Please don’t email me  – just put your genius in the comments below. I will roar back in to judge in 48 hours or so and announce the winners in the comments.  It will then be up to you to email me to claim your prize!

* Two Hours of Professional Organizing (on site or via Skype) or Anti-Clutter Coaching with the genius Organizer/Feng Shui/Space Consultant Carolyn McCallum.

* A Subscription to Mega Mystic for THREE years – this includes access to Daily, Weekly & Monthly Horoscopes, the Oracle, the complimentary astro-book that includes Sleazometer, Luna Luxe and the Zap Zone guide + the Daily Mystic must-know email. Or you can gift this if you win and you are already signed up for years.

* One of three Neptune Dream Diaries mailed out to you so that you can track your dreams and use your astral time more productively.

So go for it, explain this image and WIN-WIN-WIN!

Image: Steven Klein – US Vogue September 2013 – sorry i can’t link to U.S. Vogue as it forces me to the Vogue in my region. Control freaky much?

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All Access Membership – This is not a recurring payment – you are not locked in.

Email Mystic if you would like to trial for a few weeks first.

66 thoughts on “Astro Gaga Competion: Astrologically Caption Or Explain This Image To Win!

  1. To get some work done, Hilla had decided to shrink the children before the next energy op she was finishing before second sunrise.

    The twins, aqua savants and aries mercury had been trying to do one another in an insane whistling game that they had programmed in their voice boxes. She had a enough, her brows crossed, and her face got knitted into a narrow Virgo smile. The children, (how did they always know? Jupiter in Pisces perhaps) slunk into the Lilliputationator and with one delicate Scorpio rising white finger, she hit the switch, put them in the milliTerrarirum, which her moon in Taurus partner had bought her after two years of debating finally. Closing the outer

  2. So this is life on Venus? It isn’t what I expected, lol. I’d rather be watching for asteroids about to collide.

  3. Guys – the standard of these entries just gets better and better! But as always, there can only be a few winners and so i have had the task of choosing but five of you – thanks so much for being the most genus commenters on the planet!

    * The Mega Sub for three years: Aquaiarse
    * The amazing organizing consult with Carolyn McCallum: Andromeda
    * Neptune Dream Diaries: Damons, Satch and Lux

    Please email to claim your prizes!

  4. Scorpio hacker infiltrates neptunes lair, pauses at the celestial dream monitor (she’s just curious you see) and gets a tad carried away. Now She’s discovered the poppets of her cheating ex and her sexually-repressed step mum (left) and is engineering a karmic revenge relationship between them. Doesn’t even realize that Neptune’s entered the room and is tip toeing up behind her, pitchfork in hand…

  5. She is a Virgo, rising acquarius with a Moon in Scorpio , planning every detail for this coming 27 days when Venus enter Libra!

  6. Pluto w/ Uranus ascendant native conducting telepathic reconnaissance and intelligence for Hostile Coup of Planet X in the 12th Harmonic Zap Zone galaxy. Minions also sent to scope out Planet X ‘s inhabitants.

  7. We are longing to love, but can’t remember how to approach it any more. We are in 2043 and the world is no more Saturnian but Uranian. We live in clean, sterile environments constructed from conscious decisions, what do we really need and what we need not. We have denied everything that is dirty, decaying and bring us suffering; we have moved forward to leave what was stopping us back. Scientists has recognized that people suffered because they could not know how to handle money, sex and relationship, therefore humanity decided to live as singles in money-less societies where our creative genius can flourish. The world has no more troubles caused by money, sex and relationship. Yet, something got too mechanic, too robotic. We have somehow lost our creative spirit in the all-existent sterility.
    We are longing to touch, to kiss, we are longing to the carnal pleasures. The Saturnian was eliminated yet humanity lacks it as Saturn was the alchemist supplier of the prima materia that is no longer there. All we can see, is the illegal distribution of old organic world, accessible online, silent encounters on the barren ground-we are being pulled towards something primitive and disgusting, unreasonable emotional addictions, which we can’t help but to let ourselves to take control over us.
    We discover that although we are conscious and evolved human begins, deep down we are animals, and we let the animal nature to take control over us, even despite the ouvert dispraise of the Uranian society. We keep on breaking away even from the freely forms of the society, because we are free to suffer.

  8. The much awaited … Alitalia Time-Space Airport Lounge.

    You are in a high-density design vortex; a perfectly tailored magenta dress, an imperious blue-black bob, light-infused spectacles. Circular elements dominating the external decor. (.A hapless couple catapulted to temporary Lilliput land due to a programming glitch. Enjoying the moment.) Ms Vir-a-go is transfixed whilst watching a RAI 2 variety show.Then straight to the 23rd century: fabulous mind-thought forms suspended over Paris. Can’t wait.
    Complimentary refreshments.

  9. ‘I don’t believe in Psychics but….’

    The observer is viewing the couples reality before them with her heart.The electromagnetic vibrations of the lovers hearts amid they’re communication are physiologically affecting her own heart and allowing it to predict the future of the event before it happens.She might even be a futuristic healer or marriage councillor.’

    Heart Math is real and Scientists have through research suggested the heart is the primary organ for intuitive thinking.

  10. She didn’t need to look at the screen to see the inner turmoil that was barely contained between her two compatriots; there was tension. The kind of tension you wish would happen to you.
    They all three had been playing this game for far too long, and on this godforsaken planet there was no room foe misunderstandings.
    She was a Virgo, and although she loved her Pisces best friend she couldn’t stop the competition between her and her best friend for the affection of that Taurean man.
    Unfortunately for her, she didn’t see the bonds that wound her friends together until she finally looked at the screen and saw what had been in front of her eyes the whole time.
    As it was all made clear she bit her lip. Pulled her hair. Scratched at her skin.
    And then she sucked in her breath and faced them as they entered the chamber that held that immobile and impartial screen.
    If they were going to save the only viable planet in existence she was going to have to forget this personal drama and focus on the job at hand,

  11. Triple Virgo Jenny 8675309 had long yearned for a child of her own. She had stumbled across the new online mating site, “Adult Offspring Finder” quite by accident, while browsing her favourite Ancient Italian Decor trade pages. She couldn’t understand how the link to the sperm bank had appeared in the column to the right of the nude marble statue of that forgotten political master Silvio Burlesconi….but then again, online marketers never got it right these days. As she trawled through the images of frozen sperm, Natasha found herself coming back again and again to check the vimages of one particular member – Portia 4291835. Natasha admired the girl’s boots and cuffs, and couldn’t fault her fringe, but still something worried her….there seemed to be glitch in the projected hologram of 16 year old Portia 4291835. It looked like she was consorting with….a non-female. Natasha was sure there were no plans to introduce non-females to the Lilith colony….

        • I thought that was the case. It’s fictional characters like Nina that make me appreciate my nonfiction sanity. Without that show I’d never have heard the beauty of Neulore’s Eve, it’s the lyrical taste of love.

            • Yes that’s right, great memory CS. You had me worried because I hadn’t seen you here as much. I thought something is up in CS land. I’d like to meet a Cap Sun with a Water Moon guy. I think that would work.

            • Just busy working! Full on….but gonna find time to take this guy out for a spin around the block 🙂

  12. Adams Family Luxe reruns– Mortitia reboots endlessly fuqing technology. Gomez has uploaded his consciousness. Coded wisp of smoke- Question Havanna or 4.10 Paddington Kaboom? Bottom left Pugsley and Wednesday discuss the refurbished mansion as Bill Gates House meets Adolph Loos or Rem Koolhaus Crackhouse. Cousin IT’s penthouse is to die for–Fester now lights the NYC. Granny is curating a Yoko Ono retrospective in the new Beijing Kong. Lurch is deeply depressed but working with Phil Glass uploaded consciousness revivin’ a hitherto unknown French auteur’s underground classic Felix and the Harpsichord. Life is complicated and the updates just as slow but cosmos gets mysteriouser and mysteriouser

  13. In the year 2055 a curious, well manicured, projection of an ideal self is surveilling the interactions of her younger self reviewing how she got through her first saturn return and wondering if it will help her to get through her second saturn return(her gemini sun,scorpio rising, scorpio in saturn in the first house/uranus in sag in the first, stellium in the 8th…pluto in scorpio in the 12th…likes to shake things up.) She is bored so she decided to chart the new star-cluster her Uranian astrophysicist boyfriend asked her to chart last week but got distracted,with her ancient pair of google glasses, and started googling a newer pair.

    • not sure whether the prizes are listed as gold silver bronze or red, orange, yellow, green, indigo, violet chakras but the latter two suit (smugness probably counting me out anyway). my second pitch would would (damn techno stuutuers see ‘if i were a top notch poet’ linton kewsi) to take the serious money not the just kudos (pause what was that thought). not this–never mind is this a mystic medusa (selfie) with two petulant winners in a futera where age and technology merge seamlessly with desire and intuition. nah it was more of a thought that…referenced pop culture–lady needs alexander technique shiity/snide comment about posture–move on to japanese aesthetics what sort of future table makes you sit skew unless the user and the maker are alienated. mum could upload our tax return before the aliens eat our homework. fuq i hate living in over-the-top ye olde sydney town…paul keating thought he could screw it but james packer knew how to do it with no taste. shazam m–change is inevitable but what is at stake is the character and nature of the change (doreen massey) so with words likr the little genjii erected something in order to disappear (after walter benjamin) ‘as is only fitting’. just like that that that that that

  14. Samantha had rented a shitty apartment in an expensive area that overlooked the moors where they always argued. Or was it more like a passionate discourse, the free expression he had always shut her down from having? She did not know. She was more concerned that the suburban drone app she’d spent her inheritance on seemed to be a crock of shit. It was showing Korean soap opera from the 90s and grazing her hand lightly over the table did not seem to activate anything. Had it been a mistake to ignore her astrologer about Gucci being retrograde?

  15. A Virgo Sun/Pisces Rising /Aqua Moon lass analyzing Neptunian erotica on her gelscreen whilst simultaneously monitoring the Juno/Mercury opposition taking place outside her geodesic dome’s convex bubble window.

  16. The leather turtleneck had seemed simpler to get into than it actually was. Valerie had dislocated her left shoulder, but managed to pop it back in by ramming herself sideways into the bedroom door jam. Thankfully the sheen on her hair had remained intact; the coveted semen of genuine cultured yogi-jurl had cost an average salary, but money wasn’t a concern to Valerie. Applying it liberally it was an important part of embracing her spirituality.

    The famous Globalist designer, Farrarucci, had finished decorating the spacious fish bowl apartment, in a neuvou 22nd century chick re-run of the Nineties and Noughties take on the 1970s home decor. It was incredibly glam to re-work a re-work of a take on a fashion cycle that just kept on spinning back into play. Fuchsia was going to be the new black of the season, and Valerie owned all the Fuchsia dye stocks in the world.

    In the distance, past the funky chick retro vintage cathode ray hologram screen, Valerie spotted two locals who she had seen loitering outside her large window from time to time. Placing the mind-speak glasses on, Valerie tuned in the dial until the white light appeared. From the silence, the voices drifted into her cerebral sphere.
    “Can you see if she’s listening?” said the male voice
    “I think so, I can see the light from her glasses” said the female voice.
    “Valerie, if you can hear me” came the mans voice “you need to get out. They’re coming for you. It’s the yogi-jurl, apparently it has super-astral powers. You don’t have time. You must leave now!”
    Valerie knew who ‘they’ were, anything mystical was forbidden unless corporately sanctioned. The yogi-jurl had been smuggled into the country specifically to fill Valerie’s need. Those kids looked too well fashioned to be lying.
    Before she had a chance to start a plan, there came a fist pounding bash on the door. She froze, unable to reconcile the thought of leaping out the window to freedom – it might mess up the sheen.

  17. I am your Fairy Guardian Angel Anti-love Zombie Grandmother from dimension 8.
    I see you, chatting awkwardly on Earth to that guy from 2-doors down, who you “just happened” to bump into on a cliff.
    I know you cyber-stalked him and found out that Mr Scumbag Scorpio was a cliff diver with a wife in Tonga.
    I see your wacko white cuffs and your blunt cut-by-self fringe done in the bathroom mirror.

    You’re about to feign expertise in cliff diving.
    You’re obsessing. Love-Zombie-ing-out.

    But it’s OK. You’ve got me.
    I’m about to hit ctrl-alt-glass table and make you toss your shiny mane in the wind, breeze on by and be in a hurry to get back home where you can curl up with a cat, raw hot chocolate and plot your new career as a designer of sexy magical boots, you Piscean princess.

  18. Demi Moore in November post haircut. Used a nifty 3D printer to make model Ashton and Mila voodoo dolls. Manipulating them via stolen secret apple interface ex nth Korea.
    New image awesome. Love zombie issues still needing work.

  19. This is of course Hiroko an aquarian/virgo rising designer and inventor …also a distant relative of Yoko ono ( another bats aquarian ) and the inventor of the anti love zombie chart also featured on this site…
    This picture of her feature article in the latest design mag …show casing her latest and most astounding technological invention ever since Uranus got into aries she has catupaulted to the next dimension creating …
    THE DATING GAME – the alternative reality solution to dating in the Zap Zone …no more death by texts love zombie addictions …sexual disappointment/ diseases or worse… boring conversation !
    This game is a sci-fi -hi -resolution -sensory experience with a touch screen glass table and visor glasses you can enter into an alternative dimension where you can custom design and dress your own avatar – as well as your dates ! Yay ! you can create your “perfect man” or “ideal woman”using astro features that you might want in his/her chart e.g venus in scorpio conj pluto for a bit of chemistry etc..This is a great solution to dating self mastery with Saturn now in Scorpio. With ice queen/king control you can still participate in the more earthy dating desires without any real life risk ! Hiroko describes it as..
    “watching your favourite romance movie while using a great vibrator and being able to write direct and act the whole script !”

  20. Human Interaction Scenaria #1245.6.
    Man- ‘Woman you are good in the looking. Agreement?’
    Woman- ‘I am more than this body receptacle. I have schemata most current. Humour!’
    Man- ‘My dirigible grows cold as the digits pass. Inside is sustenance, and multiple peak experience. Come and take. My hand.’
    Woman- ‘Your lips are fish shaped and make my mind uneasy.’
    Man- ‘I have replacements. I also have currency to make your breasticles enhanced.’
    Woman- ‘You insult with fish lips. I will take the sub to the surface. Your assistance is no longer required.’
    Man- ‘Was it something communicated?’

    *computer, remove antagonising lips and re-run simulation. Wait. Add some mood lighting and a little mist. Add pheromone 80. Again. Re-run*

    Human Interaction Scenarion #1245.7 ….

  21. The Fetish of Control…
    Sex on Demand
    Demanding Sex
    The Demands of Sex
    Sex Be Damned
    –The Dom has become the Sub of the Mutual Reception
    that is Pluto in Cap/Saturn in Scorp

  22. Silicon Valley Wives 2050..Episode 47, “Greg comes undone”

    The 5D images had just arrived from the roboradiology lab. There was no doubt now, she was not only pregnant, but carrying triplets. How was it possible for Greg to impregnate her ? It was just a blowjob ? God, he told me he was on the pill, she mouthed in silence. Jenny will be furious she thought. She’s been trying to get Greg to impregnate her for years now. Ha, I suppose he will have to give little ol me that promotion now.
    Geeeez.. his wife will be devastated, sad, I really like her. Maybe we can be friends ?

  23. So… The assistant GM Troy, is fucking my new intern Carla.
    It didn’t take the predatory bastard long.
    Seems he’s forgotten the rules here at Spectra Inc; no screwing the interns.

    Yes, I can see it clearly now.
    The crystal Psyc-O-Vision never lies.
    My P-O-V shows nothing but heartache and suffering for Carla.
    Troy will destroy her, mind body and soul, then cast her aside, spent and used, just like the others, just like…

    Time to foil his diabolical plan before he goes too-far, it’s not too late…
    I’ll break him tonight.
    I’ll call an emergency meeting, one-on-one.
    It’s time to remind Troy of the rules at Spectra, and to remind him of who the boss is around here.

    He won’t stand a chance after I dis-robe and ditch this purple number.
    Just as well I’m wearing the latex lingerie today.
    The pathetic fool doesn’t stand a chance.
    I’ll erase his memory of all knowledge of our ‘meeting’ with my new Plutonian gem-stone Medusa ring.

    After-all… I have my own plans for Carla.

  24. The Year: 2050
    The Location: 25 years in the past

    The woman in the window is a sentimental Cancer who still has not gotten over “the one that got away”. She is now teleporting herself in an innovative newly designed “Time Traveler 2050” to see an old conversation between her and an ex boyfriend in real-time. Now, the key is NOT to get involved but watch from a distance so they cannot see you.

    The Result: She realizes that he wasn’t all that great anyway, and she had such fab hair and a drop dead figure back then! She could have done much better, and NOW the “one that got away” is the one she’s so happy didn’t stay 😉

  25. As she simultaneously watched TV, looked out her window, and listened in on her neighbor’s conversation (via her new head-strap light/phone/covert listening device/radio – a 2am insomnia induced infomercial purchase) Penelope (Gemini) realized that she was being lazy and decided she would go get her knitting during the next commercial.

  26. Good morning and welcome to Voice Print Identification. When you see the red light go on would you please state in the following order; your destination, your nationality and your full name. Surname first, christian name and initial. For example: Moon, American, Smith, John, D. Thank you.

    Moon, American, Floyd, Heywood, R.

    Thank you. Despite an excellent and continually improving safety record, there are certain risks inherent in space travel and an extremely high cost of payload. Because of this it is necessary for the Space Carrier to advise you that it cannot be responsible for the return of your body to Earth should you become deceased on the Moon or en route to the Moon. However, it wishes to advise you that insurance covering this contingency is available in the Main Lounge. Thank you. You are cleared through Voice Print Identification.

  27. Mariana was Pisces Rising, Capricorn Sun.
    Lately she had decided to manifest a relationship.

    Part of her plan was dressing with her Virgo DC in mind, as evidenced by her spectacles and stylish bob.

    She paused to examine the scene outside her window.

    Her window had been specially constructed as a large natal chart,.
    She liked to sit at her window-chart most nights.
    Mariana found sitting in proximity to her Gemini IC comforting. As if she was being anchored into her apartment in a metaphysical way.

    She even could press a button to see the chart and transits light up, though right now the window-chart was dark.

    Tonight she was irritated to see she had manifested a relationship close to her IC – but outside her window and for someone else!

    Ah, the perils of magic in the 24th century – same as they have always been.

  28. I’d say this is an Aquarian wearing altered Google glasses because the prototypes put forth simply weren’t streamlined or advanced enough for her liking. While speaking with a client, she’s watching an obscure Korean film as she’s learning the language out of boredom and comparing dialects and/or the new and old language. Having a Pisces rising, she may be using the dolls – which she’s told everyone are “gifts” she found at some random thrift – as perhaps a role play/therapy diversion for what she’s really going to say to that guy she absolutely swears she will never go Love Zombie on again. You know. Just in case she runs into him at the noodle bar or something. By accident! It wasn’t planned. Honest.

    • A colleague on the phone was guiding the users through a scenario as she requested. she always conducted formative research before starting interaction design. But human reactions had become so predictable to her. instead of watching the participants, she spent her time watching cat videos while listening to the test scenario in the background. If something piqued her interest, she’d look up. But it rarely happened these days. She’d been at her job so long that the only concern was how to pass the time siting still and how to get her cat to come inside at night. She already knew what the finished design would be. In between now and the was passing time. Moon in Leo 11th house, Pluto-merc-mars, Virgo 12th house and rising.

  29. Lillith of the Future: “I’ve got some good news and some bad news Adam.

    I’m breaking up with you and I have to do it in person because my life coach told me to. She’s watching us right now. She said I need to work on my vulnerability but you-are-way toosensitive. And short.

    I apologized twice for making fun of you, there were tears. Junk spurted out of my nose. But you, you had to go and bring it up a third time and that moment this began feeling more like an adoption than a romance.
    I need to scram because this is a human space terrarium that zaps chicks
    and turns them into trees.

    Adam of the Past: “So what’s the bad news ?”

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